Here’s the major problem with heavy romance-style dates... they assume a level of intimacy that doesn’t yet exist. In the old Victorian days it may’ve been delightful to court women in this way, but not any more. I think most women
view the too-soon romance date as manipulative and cliche – the idea that if you ply a girl with enough expensive wine and chow you’ll get laid. Seduction and romance now demand an entirely new approach from what worked in your parent’s day. There’s too much cynicism spread around so that even if your
motives are pure (in the sense that they are genuine) they are still highly suspect. Too many thousands of hours of watching soap operas and movies have
convinced women that men are conniving bastards with only one thing on their mind and that they are not to be trusted.
I asked several women I know about what they feel is wrong with this sort of standard romance dating deal straight out of the box, and their answers all fell along the line of “How can a guy take me out and pretend to be all sorts of in love by treating me to a lovey-dovey big dinner date?... when he doesn’t even
know me yet!”
Ah-ha... and therein my friend lies the answer: he doesn’t even know me yet. Because no emotional connection has been established, it isn’t “legal” in her mind for you to be pouring on the romantic charm full volume...yet. It may be appropriate to do so very soon, but only after a base of mutual attraction has first been effected. How to bring about this attraction is the key to everything. The first step is to demonstrate that you can be a fun guy to hang out with – then you can expand this to position yourself as a hot guy to fuck as well.
So if you stick with the theme of action and physical movement you’ll do much better because, if you’re anything like me, you are far more at ease doing something rather than yakking about it. Too much talking too soon = danger of saying something stupid and sinking yourself! Been there, done that.
Now let’s have a look at how to avoid a few common first date mistakes.
First Visual Impression
If your social life’s been in solitary confinement for more than a few years, or you’re the kind of guy who only shops for clothes when his pants, socks and shirts finally disintegrate into a cloud of organic dust, it likely means that
everything you own is far out of date and way behind the current style. I’m talking about a wardrobe that screams “guy who never dates women OR gets laid!” The shitty sports windbreaker, ill-fitting jeans, the shirt you got two Christmas’ ago that has no connection to your personal style or theme and doesn’t fit well, etc. And
just because this stuff may be freshly laundered doesn’t cut it either. Women have a weird relationship with clothing that most men have difficulty
comprehending. The clothes we wear are as important to them as a tight female ass is to us! I’ve heard girls remark that they will take a guy and, in their mind, imagine him dressed in clothes that make him look hot! How bizarre is that? We men spend all our fantasy time removing the clothes from the women we know and imaging them naked, whereas they fantasize about dressing us up!
If there is a more clear example of how the female and male brains are wired completely differently, I don’t know what it is!
So if you think it’s okay to show up looking like you just rolled out of a
fashion time capsule, it’s not – you will go down in value in her eyes immediately. She probably won’t be so bold as to call you on it, but the silent damage is done. This is so easy to fix, all I can say is just do it! Buy some popular men’s
magazines, check out the fashions and invest in at least one good currently stylish outfit for yourself. Spring a few bucks for a leather jacket as well. You can’t go wrong with leather, women really dig it. Or, you can take the slick route and go for the snappy suit. (Of course, the date will have to be formal enough to warrant using it.) Always dress appropriate for whatever you’re doing with her. You can go casual if you’re taking her out sailing or surfing (remember those Me Cards?...).
As long as it’s appropriate it’s a plus for you rather than a negative. That’s the big signal hidden in your appearance: “I have a brain that’s tuned into popular culture and it’s working properly”. You want to look like you venture out of your bear cave once in a while.
Most men are unaware, incidentally, that shoes are a really big deal with women. Yes that’s right, I said shoes. I know, I know... there was a time when my own complete shoe collection consisted of a pair of dirty sneakers, black dress boots (the kind that go with dirty jeans) and clunky winter boots. That’s it, done. Why women give a shit about the shoes you’re wearing is beyond me, but they all universally seem to feel that they get some kind of highly important “read” about a guy from the kind of shoes he wears, especially on a date. Every woman I’ve talked to about this subject confirms this idea (although they can’t seem to explain why... only chick brains apparently understand this oddity of nature). So it would probably be a good investment to get yourself a happening pair of new kicks. I won’t even presume to tell you what the current mens’ shoe styles will be
whenever you happen to be reading this, which could be years from the time I’m writing it -- so you’ll need to grab your sister or one of her girlfriends or some other girl you know and drag her down to the mall with you.
Have her take you around to the appropriate stores and dress you up in the coolest threads, then nab a couple of pairs of shoes and/or dress boots or
whatever to go along with it. Chicks know about shoes and clothes and the hottest men’s styles in the same way Einstein knew how to split atoms. Let her play “Ken doll” with you for the afternoon and take charge of things. Just make sure the girl helping you out is 1) single, and 2) the approximate same age as you. Someone who’s out there on the playing field and aware of what’s going on, in other words. You don’t want your mother in on this mission or the old married broad from across the street who’s sole experience at dressing men for the last ten years has been wrapping her henpecked husband in checkered clown shirts from the WalMart SuperSaver aisle. Know what I mean?
One caveat: try to keep your dress style consistent with the image you’re trying to create for yourself like we talked about before. Stick with something you can feel comfortable walking around in, otherwise you’ll get all self-conscious and your confidence will falter. Be who you are, just put some polish on it. If you nail the “clothes and shoes” test then you’ve at least scored high for first visual
impression, which is an important part of the total seduction job.
And finally, keep the way you dress appropriate for the activities you’ll be doing on your action date, just make it as stylish as possible. An Armani suit looks ridiculous on the golf course or ski slope.