Age Distribution

The mean age at interview for participants in the current study was 51 years and the mean age for GRS transition was 45 years. This is an older demographic than that of other studies conducted in the European region. The statistics presented for age of transition in the UK by the GIRES review of previous research, shows the median age

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107 for gender variant people presenting for treatment as 42. This report also indicated that FtM generally present a younger demographic than MtF, although it reminds us that

‘Gender variant people present for treatment at any age (GIRES, 2011: Para 4).

The current study is in line with this statistic, in that the age of FtM transition was much younger than the MtF participants and brought the mean age of transition down considerably. Three of the FtM respondents who had transitioned surgically began the process in their early twenties: Tristan had GRS when he was age 21; Carrick had GRS at age 26; and Vaughan at age 24 is at time of writing still undergoing the numerous surgeries required for full ‘bottom’ GRS. The fourth post-GRS transman Boxer-Rider transitioned older at age 37.

The nine MtF participants who had transitioned surgically present an older demographic than the statistic cited in GIRES. Some of the MtF research participants in the current study had first presented for medical treatment, been living ‘full time female’, and waiting for GRS for many years prior to this interview. MtFs Helen and Suzy had been on the waiting list for GRS for on average of three years at time of writing, and Lady G for five years, and all will be nearly 70 by the time they have surgery. Grace was 69 and Lily was 60 at time of GRS. The two youngest MtF participants in this study who have had GRS were Carina at age 42 and Justine at age 39. Jessica R and Kylie are younger transwomen who seemed comfortable with the idea of possibly not having GRS, although they are taking estrogen and leaving their options open, whereas the older transwomen said that a non-surgical path was not an option.

The term ‘primary transsexual’ is one that several research participants used for a trans person who experiences an early onset of gender dysphoria versus those who come to see themselves as trans much later. All of the participants in this study could be identified as primary transgender, in that they all said they had experienced some feelings of gender variance before the age of 20, most before the onset of puberty. The majority of participants in the current study reported they had been aware of their ‘true’

gender from between the ages of 2-6 years or from when they first recall being aware

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108 of anything. This corresponded with findings of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) Trans Research Review 2009 indicating:

It appears that for many trans people, unhappiness in their natal gender is experienced early in their lives… However, transition to one’s chosen gender may occur much later. Although we identified little UK research on when this typically occurs, research from the USA suggests it could be between 30 and 40 (EHRC, 2009:17).

Hines (2007) also reports that MtF participants in her study experienced feelings of gender variance from an early age, but that most, as in the current study, only transitioned much later in life. Most MtF research participants in this study say they repressed their transgender identities until they were much older. Alex said: ‘I ignored it for about 20 years’; Ivy speaks of ‘self-denial for 50 years’. This demographic may be changing as societal attitudes become more accepting and transgender people more aware earlier in life of their options for GRS. What may also be changing is the support available for choosing a less binary option without medical intervention, for example by social transitioning and finding partners who accept gender variant identities, thus enabling individuals to have social recognition of their gender identity without undergoing medical processes that effectively render them incapable of reproduction.

The number of participants who have had children prior to GRS is included in the Intimate Practices chapter.

The GIRES Report gives the following reason for why many MtF go for medical transition in middle age:

Few younger people present for treatment despite the fact that most gender dysphoric adults report experiencing gender variance from a very early age. Social pressure, in the family and at school, inhibits the early revelation of their gender variance (GIRES, 2011: para 6).

This statement corresponds with the findings of the current study in which many of the MtF participants had raised families and lived normative lives before feeling free enough to begin transition later in life. The fact that this was the case for earlier generations does not imply the same would be true with generations of trans people to come who will hopefully be able to develop their identities in an atmosphere of greater social freedom.

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109 Nearly all participants could identify an exact age, usually associated with an experience, when they first started experiencing gender variance. As Rihanna said:

‘everyone can pinpoint an exact age when they first knew’. A number of participants described how as very young children they had always considered themselves to be a particular gender, but experienced dissonance when they first started ‘engaging socially in the world’ away from the family home, playing with other children, or going to school. Many described the shock of realisation and a dawning awareness of social expectations to behave according to rules and roles of sex difference, having to play with ‘gender appropriate’ children, and the sense that ‘boys and girls don’t tend to mix’. Most of the MtFs described wanting to play with dolls, or stealing dolls and hiding them for fear of them being taken away or being laughed at, of ‘not feeling like the other kids that I was playing with’. Also being ‘treated as a girl’ when they ‘felt like a boy’ or vice versa, and worse having to wear the gender appropriate clothes. Lady G and Vida mentioned the difficulty of being segregated into boys and girls sections at school, and how that made life more difficult. A definitive moment of their gender recognition for Grace, Lady G, and Vida was bath time when children. All three described thinking they were girls, and then when they were bathing with their brother, becoming cognisant that their bodies were the same, they had the realisation they must also be a boy. Lady G: ‘you have a brother, and you’re put in the bath together, and you see you’re the same, but he’s a boy, so I must be a boy’.

VIDA: And when I was young I didn’t know the difference between a boy and a girl. So I’m looking at myself and I’m thinking: that’s how a girl is meant to be. I thought girls had penises and boys didn’t. I remember my parents trying to point out that: look you’ve got the same as him (her brother) in the bath one day. And I says: are you a girl as well? I just didn’t know, I had never seen a girl naked, and I just presumed that’s the way it was.

Descriptors of participants’ childhood experiences included: ‘difficult’, ‘frustrating’,

‘very hard’, ‘something to be ashamed of’. Most research participants in the current study recall having gendered feelings from a very young age – usually from first memories at around 2, 3 or 4 years old. A sense of gender variance from pre-puberty was reported by nearly all the participants except four in this study, and this intensified with the onset of puberty, along with a sense of confusion, discomfort, and depression for most. Several participants in this study expressed misgiving about the authenticity

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110 of trans people who said they first experienced gender dissonance later in life. For example Lily said: ‘I have doubts if someone says “I realised when I was in my twenties, or was 21, or when I was 16, or when I was 49”… I think you would realise before you had adolescence or puberty’. Conversely some participants were sceptical about the false construction of memories of early gender dysphoria by some trans people for the purpose of gaining access to hormones and treatment on the NHS.