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BIOGRAPHY
David Lindsay-Abaire was most recently awarded the 2008 Ed Kleban Award as America’s most promising musical theatre lyricist. Prior to that, he received the 2007 Pulitzer Prize for Drama for his play Rabbit Hole, which premiered on Broadway at MTC’s Biltmore Theatre. Rabbit Hole also received five Tony Award nominations, including Best Play, and the Spirit of America Award. His newest show, Shrek the Musical (book and lyrics) premiered at Seattle’s 5th Avenue Theater, and opened on Broadway. His other works include Fuddy Meers, Kimberly Akimbo, Wonder of the World, High Fidelity, and A
Devil Inside, among others. In addition to his work in theatre, David wrote the
screenplay for the Newline feature Inkheart, and Sony Picture’s upcoming
Spider-Man 4. David is also currently at work on screen adaptations of his
plays Rabbit Hole for 20th Century Fox, starring Nicole Kidman, and Kimberly
Akimbo for Killer Films and DreamWorks. He is a proud New Dramatists
alum, a graduate of Sarah Lawrence College and the Juilliard School, as well as a member of the WGA and the Dramatists Guild Council.
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
That Other Person was originally produced by The 24 Hour Company as part
of The 24 Hour Plays on Broadway, a one-night-only benefit for Working Play- ground, Inc., at the Roundabout Theater in New York City on October 24, 2005. It was directed by Christopher Ashley with the following cast:
TAPPY... Elizabeth Berkley JACK...Andrew McCarthy GINGE... Cady Huffman KEVIN ... Cheyenne Jackson SISSY...Rachel Dratch
CAST OF CHARACTERS
All in their mid thirties.
TAPPY, sweet, beautiful, thin, and can’t swim JACK, a man with regrets in search of hope
GINGE, an occasionally mean woman who never stands up KEVIN, a guy, in every sense of the word
SISSY, a generally good-natured lady who has been pushed too far tonight
SET
Interior: A beautiful home somewhere in Connecticut.
THE STORY
Tonight is the night Ginge and Kevin are going to tell their respective spouses the marriage-shattering secret they’ve been keeping from everyone. But their bomb-shell gets put on the back-burner when a gorgeous peeping- tom, with secrets of her own, falls in the pool and nearly drowns.
121
THAT OTHER PERSON
Lights up on a really nice house in Connecticut. TAPPY sits, sopping wet. Her clothes are wet. Her hair is wet. There is a puddle of water at her feet. She looks around uncomfortably.
KEVIN and JACK stand nearby trying to figure her out. GINGE, as al-
ways, is sitting. She stays seated through the whole play. We have a couple beats of silence before TAPPY speaks…
TAPPY. You know who’s a good swimmer? My son. Sawyer. You don’t
know him, but he’s a very good swimmer. My parents have a pool, so he was swimming when he was like…three. So cute.
(Beat.)
He’s fifteen now. Believe it or not. And not so cute anymore. He sniffs paint out of paper bags. Last week he mugged a deaf girl. Ya gotta wonder. What happened to that other person. The one I liked. Ya know?
JACK. Are you alright? You seem a little…
TAPPY. Well yeah, obviously. Because I can’t swim. Good thing that ladder
was there.
JACK. Can’t swim?
TAPPY. Never learned. I was always too scared of being seen in a bathing
suit.
KEVIN. (Finds this hard to believe:) Really?
JACK. Sissy’ll be back in a minute with the towels. TAPPY. Thanks.
(Looks around.)
It’s a lovely home.
JACK. Oh thank you. We just renovated.
TAPPY. It’s nice. I like the little kitchen area there. GINGE. Can I ask what you were doing just now? TAPPY. Oh, you mean the—
(Motions out back.)
GINGE. Yeah.
TAPPY. It was so silly actually. But I was hiding. In the—those plant
things—I don’t know what they’re called.
GINGE. The hydrangeas?
TAPPY. I don’t know. I’m not really good with names of plants. Plus it was
dark, so— But I was hiding in the…hydrangeas, I guess—trying to look in the windows. To spy on you. And then I heard someone coming.
DAVID LINDSAY-ABAIRE 122
KEVIN. That was me. Stepping out for a smoke. TAPPY. You should quit.
KEVIN. Yeah, well.
TAPPY. Anyway, I got spooked, so I ran, but I didn’t really know where I
was going, so that’s when I tripped over the garden gnome and fell in the pool.
JACK. (Beat.) Right.
GINGE. So, um…why were you spying on us?
TAPPY. Oh, I shouldn’t have said spying. It’s not like I was— GINGE. Jack, I think we should call the police.
TAPPY. No, it’s okay. Really, it’s okay. Because I know you.
(Pause as they stare at her.)
I know you. And you know me. You know me, so it’s okay.
GINGE. We don’t know you. TAPPY. Yes you do.
KEVIN. We don’t. I don’t.
GINGE. And it’s against the law to peek into people’s windows.
TAPPY. I wanted to make sure it was the right address. The internet can be
unreliable, so…
GINGE. (Re: the police:) Jack, can you please…
TAPPY. You just don’t recognize me because of the operation.
(This silences them.)
That’s why you think you don’t know me. I had an operation.
(SISSY comes down the stairs carrying towels.)
SISSY. I’m sorry, I had trouble finding the towels. I know you said the first
closet on the right, Ginge, but I got all turned around. I mean, you have so many closets up there it’s hard to get your bearings, especially when my head is so—
(She makes an “everything’s nuts” expression.)
Here you go.
(Hands towels to TAPPY.)
TAPPY. Thank you.
SISSY. I spent like five minutes in the linen closet before I realized “oh wait,
this is the linen closet, she said ‘Not the linen closet.’” And then there was an-
other closet which was filled with cloth napkins, which was kinda odd, because
I was like “Wow, Ginge has a napkin Closet. I don’t know anyone with a nap-
kin closet.” So weird.
GINGE. But you found them. SISSY. Yeah, I found them.
THAT OTHER PERSON 123
(Beat—bursts into tears.)
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m still thinking about… I’m sorry.
(More crying. Awkward pause.)
TAPPY. Aw geez, I interrupted something, didn’t I?
OTHERS. (Ad lib:) No, not really. Actually… Really, no. etc.
TAPPY. No, I did. She’s crying. Plus I saw you arguing when I was spying in
the…
(Motions out back.)
JACK. Hydrangeas.
TAPPY. Hydrangeas, thank you. That’s why I stayed put for so long. Other-
wise I might’ve just rung the bell.
SISSY. (Wipes her eyes.) You were spying on us?
(Turns to KEVIN.)
Is this about—? She doesn’t have anything to do with you and—?
KEVIN. No, of course not. What would she have to do with that?
SISSY. I don’t know! How would I know?! You’re so full of fucking lies! Any-
thing is possible!
TAPPY. (Beat.) I am, I’m interrupting.
SISSY. It’s fine. You didn’t know. Or maybe you did. Who are you?!
GINGE. She says we know her, but we don’t recognize her because she’s
had an operation.
SISSY. Oh. An operation. KEVIN. Was it plastic surgery? TAPPY. No.
SISSY. I leave the room for a few minutes—
(Turns on GINGE viciously.)
If you didn’t have so many fucking closets I’d know what was going on right now.
GINGE. You need to stop swearing, Sissy. SISSY. And you need to stop fucking my husband!
(Bursts into tears again.)
KEVIN. Oh for god sakes, Sissy.
TAPPY. Is that what this is? You two just told those two that you were…
Well this is really awkward then. Me falling in the pool in the middle of all this. My timing has always has been lousy. Remember?
GINGE. We don’t know who you are!
TAPPY. Sure you do. Remember that time at the thing with the…cotton
DAVID LINDSAY-ABAIRE 124
(Off their blank stares.)
And the dwarf…with the…thermos…
(Still nothing.)
You guys, it’s me. Tappy. Tappy Reynolds. Tappy.
(Pause.)
See? I know you.
SISSY. Me? You know me?
TAPPY. Well no, not you. But you seem very nice. SISSY. Thank you. I am nice.
(Turns on her husband.)
I am a nice person, who deserves to be treated with a modicum of respect!
TAPPY. We all went to high school together. SISSY. Cool.
KEVIN. You’re not Tappy Reynolds. Tappy Reynolds was enormous. TAPPY. Yeah, was. Was enormous.
KEVIN. Like three hundred pounds. TAPPY. Three fifteen. I got the operation. SISSY. The Al Roker operation?
TAPPY. Well, that’s not the official name, but yeah. GINGE. You’re not Tappy.
JACK. No, she is. I can see it now. Now that I look at her. KEVIN. You look amazing.
TAPPY. Thank you.
KEVIN. Damn, I wish you looked like that in high school. TAPPY. Yeah, me too.
SISSY. You know, our dog is obese. They don’t do that operation on dogs,
do they?
TAPPY. I don’t think so.
GINGE. So what do you want Tappy? You come back to show us how
great you look?
TAPPY. No.
GINGE. Some kind of revenge thing? “Hey, look at me now, assholes.”? TAPPY. No, not at all.
(Beat—has to admit:)
Well not, just that…
(No one really laughs.)
Although…you were pretty mean to me, Ginge. Remember? The locker room? The tub of Bosco?
THAT OTHER PERSON 125
GINGE. We were kids. Kids are mean.
JACK. No they’re not. Not all kids. I wasn’t mean. TAPPY. That’s true, Jack wasn’t mean.
SISSY. But Ginge was. She’s still mean. She slept with my husband. While I
was at a clinic getting my varicose veins done.
KEVIN. Sissy, give it a rest.
SISSY. (Teary again:) I was getting those veins done for you, Kevin! So my
calves would look pretty for you!
(Suddenly:)
I want a divorce!
GINGE. Good, so does he.
SISSY. (To GINGE:) You’re mean. You’re mean to me, and to your hus-
band, and to Tappy. You were very mean to Tappy.
(To TAPPY:)
Well God got her back for you, Tap. Did you notice how it was me who had to fetch the towels? Or how she hasn’t gotten out of that chair once? That’s because she’s a paraplegic. Dune buggy accident! Four years ago. Her wheel- chair’s in the hall, wanna see?
KEVIN. Don’t be a jackass, Sissy.
SISSY. Why not? Everyone else gets to be mean. Why not me? JACK. I’m not mean.
TAPPY. (To GINGE:) I’m sorry.
GINGE. Oh shut up. Please.
SISSY. See?! Mean! Mean-mean-mean. Kevin is only having sex with you be-
cause he has an overdeveloped sense of guilt when it comes to the handi- capped. He had a retarded sister and she died choking on a piece of hotdog because he didn’t know the Heimlich!
KEVIN. Jesus, Sissy!
SISSY. Too bad! I’m done being nice! We’re getting a divorce, so fuck off! JACK. (To TAPPY:) Is it your son? Sawyer? Is that why you’re here? TAPPY. (Pause.) He’s having a hard time.
SISSY. She has a son?
GINGE. He sniffs paint. You were upstairs.
TAPPY. I know I said I’d never do this, Jack. But I don’t know what to do
with him. And he keeps asking about you. I think he blames you for…every- thing. I’m sorry, but I think he does.
GINGE. Uhhh…what the fuck? TAPPY. You never told her?
DAVID LINDSAY-ABAIRE 126
GINGE. What the FUCK?
SISSY. You need to stop swearing, Ginge. KEVIN. Dude, do you have a kid?
TAPPY. We slept together once. I was a freshman. He was drunk, JACK. I wasn’t that drunk.
TAPPY. Drunk enough to fuck the fat girl.
JACK. Hey, it wasn’t like that. I liked you. You were sweet. TAPPY. Yeah, right.
(To GINGE:)
Why do you think I left school?
GINGE. Because your family moved or something.
TAPPY. Yeah, because I was pregnant. Jack didn’t want any part of it, obvi-
ously, which I totally understood. He was going off to Dartmouth. I prom- ised not to get in his way.
GINGE. (To JACK:) Okay, this is insanity. We’ve been married for eleven
years—
JACK. Tappy and I had an agreement. She said I wouldn’t have to— It was
like it didn’t happen for me.
GINGE. Right, but…
(Motions to TAPPY.)
It kinda did, Jack.
TAPPY. (To JACK:) I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m afraid he’s
gonna die. He’s doing the craziest shit. And he hates me. He hates everybody really. He’s a delight. You’re gonna love him.
JACK. So you want me to what? Like…talk to him? Cause I’m not so good
at that kind of thing.
TAPPY. I think just meeting him might be good. JACK. (Pause—lets out a breath.) Okay.
GINGE. Jack— JACK. When?
TAPPY. How ’bout now?
SISSY. Wait, we were in the middle of something, what is this? TAPPY. I parked down the hill.
JACK. He’s in the car?
GINGE. Jack, you are not bringing that boy in this house. He’ll probably
torch the place by the sounds of it. And we just renovated.
JACK. What do you care? You’re leaving, right? Isn’t that what tonight was
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