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Male Bonding, Arousal Addiction, and Isolation

In document The Red Pill Handbook, 2nd Ed (Page 114-120)

By veggie_girl.

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Let me first say that humans are attracted to arousal, and not just the sexual kind. The human brain is like a gym rat that loves to workout and is only happy when its working or being stimulated by self-produced chemicals or externally introduced drugs. To deny the brain stimulation and work will lead to insanity or death. [Source] Not all arousal is sexual, simple mental stimulation counts.

However where an individual brain draws stimulation from can go far to shape a personality. There is a saying, "you are a product of your environment" - that touches vaguely upon that, I wish to go a bit deeper (perhaps in another post, for this one there's 3 related things that mainly need to be covered).

"The end result of male socialization is a set of defaults that are programmed by society, culture, media, family, and religion. The typical male attributes are

supposed to be: strength and self-reliance, success, no sissy stuff or don't be like women, sexual interest and prowess, active, independent, tough, aggressive,

dominant, stoic, and never cries (Bem, 1974; Broverman et al., 1970; Herek, 1986;

Zilbergeld, 1992). These defaults define a fanciful standard of

masculinity." [Source] Aside from male bonding, nearly every other source of stimulus in a modern boy/man's life is going to cause an undesirable effect.

Television has been feminized, the internet has been feminized, schools have been feminized, and even online forums such as reddit are rampantly diluted. There are few places of masculine bonding, but men/boys need it more than ever. The

existence of TRP is virtualized monument of that need. Social interaction with men is a positive experience and research by Phillip Zimbardo shows that men actually prefer the social company of men. This socialization causes a cortical arousal that has a direct effect on the [reticulating activating system] and leads to higher

production of vasopression. This can be a determining factor on whether someone

pursues the activities of an introvert or extrovert. [Source] There isn't yet a lot of research on this topic, but it's worth considering that 18 US presidents were

fraternity members, and there is also this long list of unsourced statistics regarding fraternities reminding us that all of today's male leaders came from groups of men who socialize together. So where does arousal addiction and isolation play into this? It prevents it, and more.

It has been proven that humans will seek out the highest state of arousal that involves the lowest amount of work. [Source] This leaves both men and women in a state of addiction to whatever fleeting arousal they can achieve. For women it's often free male validation where I could use r/gonewild as a case study. Which activities do we see an epidemic of addiction towards among young men? Porn, video games, drugs, or a combination, all of which cause the brain to produce an easy and otherwise risk-free source of happy-chemicals. [Source]

Why is porn so addicting? Because visual erotica in particular arouses more than just genitals, it also induces a brain arousal (activation) level that is unseen with other forms of stimulation. [Source] This is particular to males. When a man sees a naked woman, parts of his brain activate that were otherwise not active.

Hormones begin pumping through his body. His brain is on hyper-drive, and it likes it. But what good is that in isolation? And there is a lot of isolation going on, more than ever before. The average boy spends a minimum of 3650 hours playing video games by the time he is 19 years old. [Source] With the median being closer to 10,000 hours.. This isn't to say video gaming is a bad thing. Quite the opposite.

Gamers have been found to be 25% faster to make decisions, and have improved eye-coordination. [Source]. Some would even say that "An Hour A Day (Gaming) Is Key To Success In Life" However the problem with the average gamer, is all of this is done in isolation. Skype and Teamspeak are no substitutions for physical socialization. Remote communication does not trigger the brain to produce the same chemicals. [Source] Gaming and porn (in moderation) aren't the problem, isolation created by overuse of these habits is the problem.

Does this scenario sound surprisingly familiar to the social anxiety experienced by many men (and women)? "In a later study on the effect of total isolation from

birth, the researchers found that the test monkeys, upon being released into a group of ordinary monkeys, "usually go into a state of emotional shock, characterized by . . . autistic self-clutching and rocking." Harlow noted, "One of six monkeys isolated for three months refused to eat after release and died five days later." After several weeks in the company of other monkeys, most of them adjusted—but not those who had been isolated for longer periods. "Twelve months of isolation almost obliterated the animals socially," Harlow wrote. They became permanently

withdrawn, and they lived as outcasts—regularly set upon, as if inviting abuse." [Source]

This is a bigger issue for men because women can afford to have zero social skills on the sexual market. Women are pursued and can passively attract a mate.

[Source] Women are more than capable of sharing a male from the top 20%.

Women are not expected to lead in any substantial capacity. For men on the other hand social mastery is a necessary part of life and is essential for successful reproduction, unless literal rape were a viable sexual strategy. And men don't like to share their women with other men.

In conclusion, one could argue that because video games, the internet, and porn provide an easy source of stimulation that induces dopamine in the brain, people are less likely to go out and take other risks that would grant it. That can be good when it comes to avoiding things like heroin, but bad when it comes to innovating, learning, leading, and adventure-seeking. None of this is necessarily causation in one direction or the other, however the correlation is undeniable.

TL;DR - Male bonding is extremely important, especially for young boys/men.

It produces essential skills/habits men need that will push them to the top 20%.

Using a computer to communicate is still isolation, you need physical people;

embracing, touching, even hitting one another. Arousal addiction doesn't help with the isolation problem. Physical isolation will kill your social skills, lead to

depression, and many other negative effects even if you are receiving stimulation via the internet or other remote means.

Featured Comment

By IllimitableMan.

This is endemic as a result of the collapse of the family unit being widespread in feminist countries, more and more boys are finding themselves isolated. In the days of the nuclear family your chance at having a father to bond with and siblings/

brothers was far higher and children who are sons of single parent mothers are at the most danger of social anxiety and isolation, they cannot bond with their mothers in the way that they need to, they have an absent father and no siblings and typically they are born into poverty. What are there chances in life? In terms of SMV unless they were born genetic jackpot winners and were blessed with good looks, they have the deck completely stacked against them and are born into dare I say, something of an SMV deficit with massively high risk factors for delinquency.

The ingredients for success to help them fulfill their potential are simply absent.

If such young men are ever lucky enough to find TRP and take on a

self-improvement mindset, immediately they are awash with regret from all the wasted time and lack of opportunity they had. All those years wasted on being an orbiter, playing games, having bad friends, being too emotionally crippled to have

meaningful friendships, it's a fuck fest of delinquency which rapes the shit out of a guys chances in life. Nobody talks about it, nobody at all, because most people don't give a fuck. But it's not as rare as people would like to think. If this sounds like you or you identify with this shit, leave a comment here, it will be interesting to see how many people need TRP because they were brought up in this kind of shitty situation or similar.

Their chances at socialisation, predominantly schooling and the workplace yield little to no social reward, that is to say, because they are not high SMV nobody really wants to know them, who cares about poor guys who aren't good looking and have no popularity? Fucking nobody and yet, that describes the majority of

guys who are born into poverty and single parent/low education households with no sizeable family to take care of them. How do guys like that often get attention and try to break out from the mediocrity? They sell drugs, they get involved in gangs, anything to give them money, status and sex, shit they wouldn't get if they didn't break the law. The guys who don't do that or are too scared to do that? They end up in the porn/games/internet cycle, too irrationally fearful of people that even leaving the house is a big deal, talking to people in shops is a big deal and etc.

They are so used to isolation it's become their M.O.

I'd argue the dichotomy we have now is that as a low SMV male it is incredibly difficult TO NOT BE lonely, isolation is almost the status quo for males, the

millennials and to a growing extent, Gen X, are incredibly narcissistic, who has time for those who haven't already made it in life? Seemingly, not many people.

My advice is take up as many hobbies as you can afford/have spare time for, obviously thats the gym but theres other stuff, debating clubs, dance, martial arts, whatever it is that allows you to meet other people and have some fun whilst you're at it. Friends are like money, difficult to get when you have none, but when you have plenty of it getting more is effortless. Preselection is insane, but inversely, so is the lack of it. A lack of preselection can lead to nobody wanting to know you, I don't even mean the opposite sex, I'm talking same-sex friendships too. Most people are close-minded and judgemental, they won't even try to look past superficialities to like you, if you're not a high-flyer they're not interested.

Shit, the standards for masculinity are so high, and the infrastructure to ascertain it for many men is all but absent, it's no wonder so many boys/men are incubating themselves with porn/games/internet. If you're isolated and the struggle is getting you down, you may as well enjoy your prison. Not that I advocate that lifestyle in anyway, but simply that I can understand perfectly well why it happens.

Nobody cares about these people so these people do their best to make life as bearable as possible, even if that means forgetting how much their life sucks and distracting themselves with fantasy constantly, day-in and day out.

Such is the nature of system, when the system does a shit on someone but gives

them none of the information they need to see it for what it is, they delude

themselves on behalf of the system to stop themselves from going insane from how shit everything is. Escapism is a form of self-preservation for people who don't know how to or simply aren't brave enough to engage in self-improvement. When you have nothing, when you have nobody, stepping into the gym and lifting some weights around strangers is a big fucking deal, it takes a lot of courage, those boys are so neglected and so anxious that it's unreal, they will actively stop themselves from pursuing self-improvement because they are perpetually scared as a result of isolation, thus perpetuating the cycle further, they become their own biggest obstacles.

In document The Red Pill Handbook, 2nd Ed (Page 114-120)