This is one of the most commonly recognized attraction theories due to its potency and effectiveness. The idea is simple, in your interactions you need to concurrently push them away for every time you pull them in to you.
Pushing your woman involves a disapproval of something they have done or something about the way they are. You are going to have to gauge how far you believe you can push the woman without them being totally offended. In a way this is you testing their frame, you are disapproving of something, which shows you are not like all the other guys who want to bed them and who tell them everything is wonderful. Once you push them away from you and create attraction you must always reduce its effects with something accepting or complimentary that does not relate to their looks (fashion sense is fine to mention though).
Too much of a push and you alienate her and come off as an asshole, too much pulling and you will seem easy. You need to make them feel like they are on an emotional roller coaster. They will not be able to figure you out, you will create more mystery, playfulness and consequently attraction.
Name: Simone
Age: 27
Location: Shopping Mall
I love sushi
really? Raw fish is pretty gross (push) but at least you have great taste in cocktails (pull), that mojito looks delicious.
Or
I love horror movies, there is something about aliens that really interests me
yes I can see that, you nerd! (push) That’s ok, I played dungeons and dragons once myself, we’ll get along great (pull)
The aim is to be subtle without being blatantly rude. If you are finding that you are coming across as rude you need to work on your delivery, it needs
to be playful and shall be discussed later. How do you know if you are being rude? You say something and they give you a greasy look, they look at each other with a perplexed expression or they get defensive and tell you to take a long walk off a short pier.
Frequently apply this technique to keep them interested in you as they will never be able to fully figure you out. People find comfort in being able to stereotype their relationships, it helps them know how to act, what to say and what to do. The beauty here is that the push and the pull are pure opposites; 50% of them say “He likes you” the other 50% says “He’s not interested”.
Another way to achieve the same effect is the hot / cold tactic, which is to be used later on in your relationship and is designed to make their interest in you peak. Do not use this theory if you are not prepared for the target to fall in love with you. A big claim to make I know but I am talking purely from results.
Soe’s Tip: The hot/ cold theory is very true but do not make it last too long if you are interested in a serious(ish) relationship. If she is smart enough, she will spot this and either know what you are doing, which will annoy her or if she doesn’t see it she will think you are not into her and, to avoid being dumped, she will break up with you. Rather keep all of the activities, friends and obligations you had before meeting her and she will feel you are busy and not clingy without doubting how you feel about her. If the passion seems to fade after a while and the relationship is deteriorating then use T’s hot/cold method.
T’s Takeaways
The foundations of this theory are based on simple psychology: create pleasure and then show you have the power to take it away. You need to get them excited or interested in something and then take it away at its peak. This alone will not get you highly potent results as timing helps, so I have helped adapt this theory to the three most crucial points in any seduction to increase its potency.
On the phone:
Most conversations have a point in time where both people are genuinely interested in the conversation (the social hook point) and have an urge to continue talking to the other party. When the other party says things like “Oh my God I know exactly what you mean etc” or when you ask them a question which they really want to answer e.g. “So tell me more about how you got your promotion” you know you are at the social hook. You can gauge how interested or excited they are at any given point as their voices will go louder, higher and faster. At this point, perhaps half- way through a story, you will say that you need to go as you either: have
another call, have dinner ready or simply say “something’s come up” to keep them guessing.
This rule also applies to text-message conversations however in the case of text messaging you will end it by not replying. Text messaging is highly useful tool however use it only for flirty purposes. Text messaging to make the first call or to set up arrangements will be viewed as you being too much of a pussy to actually have a proper conversation.
On the Date:
If you are being playful wait until they reciprocate, get interested and then you can walk away. Only do this once or twice as not to make it obvious or make the woman feel rejected. An example might be you are playing a little game with them, even if it is a juvenile one like a thumb war, when they start to reciprocate and seem to be having fun stop what you are doing on its high. Either pull away or say with a smile “Ah is that the best you’ve got?” or “Pfft you’re no fun!” Childish humour delivered in a playful way will always be appreciated.
In the Bedroom:
This is perhaps the most potent tactic you can use. On face value it sounds simple, in reality the results are devastatingly effective. When you get to the foreplay stage with your woman and everything points towards sex you need to get them excited. As this is not the playboy forum I will not go into gory details as to how you physically do that but I am sure you can use your imagination (and have used it in the past *slap*slap*). Once she appears to be getting into it (any form of foreplay or flirting) pull back and say:
we’re moving too quickly
(having never heard a man say that in his life): um...ok?
I really want to stay but I made a promise to myself that I won’t have sex until the 2nd / 3rd / 4th date
you can’t be serious
I mean it, I like taking my time
No man will have ever done this to her, you will leave her unbelievably sexually frustrated. If this is the last emotion you leave her with she will continue to associate with you with this emotion for the subsequent times that you see her and even well after you finish hiding the salami.
If done correctly, and by that I mean leaving them at the peak of their horniness, that last feeling you left them with will last every day until the next time they see you and will likely result in you getting laid within minutes of seeing her on your next date (assuming that you are in the right location).
You may be asking “Why wouldn’t I just take the sex on the first
opportunity?” The answer is simple: most women, during foreplay and just before sex, will become uncertain and put up their defenses as they will feel like a slut (see ‘Last Minute Resistance’). Even though there are some things you can do to alleviate this feeling it is a lot easier to prevent it than to fix it. This technique also has long term benefits.
You can turn the girl you are with into your FB (friend with benefits) or girlfriend with greater ease than if you have a one night stand and try to take it further. Women will often feel cheap if you escalate the situation too quickly, they think emotionally before they think logically and will follow their heart before their mind.
They may have short term excitement but once that subsides their conscience starts to take the reins. They will develop ‘Buyer’s Remorse’, soon the thought of you will make them sick, not for the reason that you have done anything wrong, mainly because you remind them of an impulse decision they feel they should not have made.
If you and your target only want a one night stand then you can still use this technique however instead of actually leaving just give the impression that you do not intend to stay. You can even take it as far as walking to the door and just as you are about to leave turn around as if you have changed your mind on impulse, come back, open her legs and close the deal.
This technique allows you to almost beat them to their own objections. You are now seen to have taken the moral high-ground which will not only establish a greater rapport with your woman but the shock alone will quell their fears of feeling or being perceived as cheap. Women know they will always have sexual power over you as they are the stronger gender when it comes to sexual control. In this instance you turn the tables of sexual power, you in-fact are the one who can take part of the responsibility for any feelings of cheapness or buyers remorse because you demonstrate to them that burden of the decision is no longer fully theirs.
Remember that making sex out to be a huge deal and giving over all your hand to the female will increase the perceived gravity of what the two of you are about to do. It will seem like a big decision, which takes big thinking which means big risks for you. Traditionally the moral burdens associated with sex were fully borne by the woman, if you communicate to her that you share the same concerns she will feel that the responsibility
is now split, allowing her to be more lenient with herself.
This may seem unbelievable to you that men would have these concerns but let me tell you often they are there and not raised. Men who want to have a long term relationship with the woman or see her more than just for a one night stand often feel the same way yet rarely speak up as they feel they should take the offer whilst it is still on the table. Once again doing what is counterintuitive will have the more profound effect.
Demonstrate that you are different to all the other men who want them for a one night stand. You are no longer the average man so why go about your seductions in an average way?
NB: if a woman does ask you what you intend for the two of you in the future, if anything at all, never lie. Not only is it unethical but they will realise you do not mean it. You will get more respect speaking the truth than trying to cover it up and trust me, when you are horny you will never be convincing. If an answer or situation appears too perfect it will sound alarms bells in her head. It is better to throw in the occasional downside to add legitimacy to what you are saying.