Reflexivity & Ethics

My social location to the research topic and my participants provided advantages and dis- advantages. In spite of my personal experiences adding significance and passion to the research, I was cautious in terms of power, racial and gender dynamics during the interviews. My initial ethical dilemma was relevant to the research subject matter, colorism. As quite a sensitive case for the black community, my very presence and discussion of the issue was controversial. I real- ized there would be ambivalence on a concern so personal that I prepared for criticism and rejec- tion. I had to ask myself many times, how can I as a white woman conduct research on black men that characterizes them in a negative manner? I had to be sure that I would not advance negative stereotypes surrounding colorism or men’s participation in its cycle. As Collins’ work

illustrates, social science has traditionally pathologized black people and promoted whiteness over blackness, men over women and object over subject (2000). As a white academic research- er, mother to biracial children and wife to a black man, I felt compelled to utilize my ‘outsider with insider knowledge’ status to guide me rather than allow it to become a conflict of interest. I began with a series of self-examining questions: Do I invoke the methods training from my an- thropological background guide my process or do I flow with my passionate concern as a mother of young men who may perpetuate colorism in their personal relationships? For whom will my research be relevant? Will it be taken seriously by the black community, by the academic com- munity? Who will benefit from this research? After its completion, will I have avoided the “who cares, so what” rhetorical question and given purpose to these men’s personal narratives?

To maintain an ethical environment, I attempted to always be mindful of my actions, as- sumptions and perceptions. I came to terms with my position as a white woman (although I am often told I have ambiguous features). The perceived power relationship between a white female and black male could have stereotypically gone afoul. Fortunately, I was seen as a trustworthy comrade amongst the clients of the barbershop. My time spent there over the last year allowed me to build an understanding among the men who were employed there as well as their usual clientele. Unfortunately, the same rapport did not carry over to some of the women stylists who occupied the other side of the building, but I understand their distance.

Overall, my own skin tone played a role in how I hurdled the racial divide. It is possible that my Italian ancestry caused curiosity within my participants, but I remained honest and as- sured them of my racial categorization. Additionally, I guaranteed them that they could always speak freely about their ideas and opinions without upsetting me or making our time awkward. I was very open about my own family and our experiences with racism and colorism, but ex-

plained that their experiences were what would make this research be of value; I was there to learn from them. I also made a point to ask each participant why he chose to be part of my study.

Sociologist, Alvin Gouldner (1970) also set forth an idea that social science should be self-critical and self-conscious so as to expose the researcher’s assumptions and biases, which corresponds with Black Feminist Thought. This idea is extended by authors Boss, Dahl and Kaplan (1996) in their article on the use of phenomenology in qualitative methods; at the onset of a research project, a researcher should reveal their values and beliefs (p. 86). As this phenom- enological study is narratively supported, it nonetheless is an exploration of a fundamental effect of an existing, deliberate occurrence. The need for this intertwined epistemology is for meaning- making while interpreting the participants’ lived experiences and truths to be relevant. Phenom- enology aids in our understanding these men’s frames of reference; what they believe about the world and its social hierarchy (Boss, Dahl and Kaplan, 1996). Phenomenology, similar to Black Feminist Thought, encourages the researcher to co-construct the knowledge or data with the par- ticipants to provide for an interpretation that allows both the researcher and the participant to glean a better understanding of the issue and the world around them.

Lastly, to ensure that I was conscious to the ethics of this research, I focused on my own personal accountability; understanding and self-reflection; and to ensure that they were support- ive of empowerment and raised consciousness. It is a daunting task to develop awareness on such a personal level without revealing the negative data that led to the production of relevant knowledge. My decision to utilize Black Feminist Thought helped me to bridge the gap between exploitative and empowering knowledge as it provides a space for transformation (individual as well as societal) and healing.