Sexual disorders in men as well as women are common and for some, especially women, it may have become a way of life, unreported and unacknowledged; unfortunately, therefore, many such disorders go untreated.
Mostly, such sex disorders in women are temporary or in a cycle of desire and loss of desire, depending upon the time, mood and relationship with her partner and the conditions prevailing in her household, her health and ultimately, her current mindset.
Relationship problem, such as indifferent partner, cheating on her, finance, bringing up children and regular quarrel and arguments prevents the women in having sex with her man or even opening herself about sex related problems to him.
Lactating, or a mother to a newborn generally do not like indulging in sex.
Emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, guilt or any feelings of disturbance may interfere in her sexual performance.
Diseases and illnesses may also be the causes to sexual problems. Most diseases keep the body and the mind in an uncomfortable state. For instance, terminal disease like cancer may never allow a woman to have sex; it distresses the body as well as the mind. Illnesses may show temporary symptoms and is reversible.
Vaginal infection such as yeast infection or STD may make sex unpleasant to a woman.
Injuries, such as spinal surgery or irrecoverable injury may also be the cause of women’s sexual problem.
Medication is another supplementary cause too; major being the disease or the illness due to which the medication is being taken for its cure.
Unhealthy life style such as smoking, alcohol or drugs intake may interfere with the sex life of a woman.
Sexual abuse or rape in the past may dampen her desire for sex later in life. The experience is traumatic and distressing all her life.
Unfortunately, some people belonging to extreme religious groups, view sex as taboo and indulge in sex only as a duty to her husband and to the family. They derive least pleasure from sex and find it only a way of having a successor in the family.
Partner without warmth, emotion, or himself with sexual dysfunction diminishes the desire in a woman to have sex. Mostly they resign to their fate and accept a life without sex.
Menopause may add to the dryness of the vagina but not necessarily impair the desire for sex in a woman. Menopause sometimes sends a signal of safe sex and the woman may feel free to have sex without worrying about conception. The sensitivity and pleasure of the clitoris does not diminish with time. However, menopause causes decrease in the level of estrogens which may be the cause of low sex drive in women.
Low hormone levels of estrogens, testosterone, and adrenalin could be another cause too.
Ageing women generally lose interest in sex due to low level of androgens. Exhaustion is another cause in ageing women.
Sometimes, lack of knowledge of the partner or insufficient stimulation and foreplay prevents women from the arousal stage. This sends a signal of sexual problem, which may not be true.
Only a little effort by the partner may set things right and the women may once again feel loved and cared, turning her on and rekindle her desire to have sex.
Lack of privacy, such as living in a joint family or insufficient rooms to the couple may add to this problem.
All the above and many more could be the reasons for sexual disorder in a female.
Genetics and family background greatly influences a woman in her desire, to have sex. Family with a history of sexual disorder, lack of intelligence and mental sharpness will have females with lesser desire for sex and with a very little imagination in how to perform in bed. Women from such families are very loyal and very good homemakers. They have a strong urge to have children for the sake of completing their family and sex is limited to this family duty only.
Otherwise, sex as pleasure and bedroom game is taboo and a sin. Women use up their energy in bringing up children and pleasing their husbands or partners with their culinary art and other home improving activities. In the process, they do not understand the desire and the urge of their partner to have sex and romance too. This puts a strain in the relationship and it may seem to her partner, his woman is suffering from sexual dysfunction. Conversely, woman from a healthy and intelligent family will want to experience and explore all possibilities of pleasurable sex. They are open and may discuss sex with their partners and exchange views about sex, with their girlfriends for the sake of evaluating their sex life. They explore and experience sex as a way of life and put it into practice. However, such women sometimes may show sign of disloyalty or a desire to have sex elsewhere too. This may happen mostly when the partner is unable to perform in bed as well as she does. Unfortunately, when the partners of such sexually active women perform poorly in bed, they mostly lose interest in sex and show sign of sexual dysfunction in course of time.
A woman should remember that nature made her perfect, unless there was a trauma, disease, genetic deficiency or any circumstances leading her to forgo and lose interest in sex. She and only she can find a cure to her sexual problem, unless she prefers to be content, with her way of life by ignoring her partner’s desire for sex and romance. Her partner may find ways to gratify his sexual needs elsewhere, which may put a great deal of strain in the relationship. Women generally are unreasonable here. They may not want sex themselves and put a restriction on their partner in having sex elsewhere
17.ILLNESSES THAT CAUSES LOSS OF LIBIDO.
Illnesses are the major causes for the loss of libido in women. Illnesses are always uncomfortable and disturb the person from within. Even though some illness may not be painful or distressing, it may keep the person weak and exhausted, thus never allowing the mind to get into any mood for lovemaking.
Illnesses could be physical or mental. Either way, all affect the sex drive in a woman.
Mental or psychological problems could be anxiety or depression, stress or any family problem, such as finance or strained relationship, low self-esteem, past experience of sexual abuse or rape, obesity or a very lean flat shapeless body, all adds up to low sex drive or an extreme loss of libido.
Physical illnesses include terminal diseases, such as cancer, diabetes, vital organ diseases/failure, while temporary illnesses may include infection or viral fevers. Injury and surgery of certain parts of the body may add to the loss of libido, such as spinal injury.
Vaginismus, an involuntary contraction of the vaginal wall, occurs in young women; when untreated, it may carryon until later years. The cause of vaginismus may be more psychological such as extreme pain during intercourse due to rape, fear of penile penetration, anxiety, stress, or traumatic childbirth experience, than physical like vaginal infections such as Yeast infection.
Vaginismus causes extreme pain during intercourse, which may bring more fear in a woman than pleasure in having sex.
Dyspareunia, a painful condition during sex, is due to the absence or insufficient lubrication in women. This may happen due to any abnormalities in the ovaries or the pelvis. Vaginal dryness makes sex very unromantic, both for men as well as women. This condition, if persists, gradually makes sex more strained and in a “to do or not to do” situation. Similarly, vulvodynia pain may occur due to inflammation of the vaginal region or valvar skin which could also cause dyspareunia in women.
Preorgasmic headache may be dull and the feeling may be felt in the neck as well as the jaw. It lasts about f an hour on both sides of the temple. It is extremely distressing and takes away the pleasure of indulging in sex.
Orgasmic headache occurs at the time of reaching orgasm. The throbbing may be felt all over the head.
Chlamydia trachomatis is the most common cause of bacterial sexually transmitted disease.
Renal failure in women too disturbs the sexual functioning and the desire to have sex.
Anal cancer in women due to infection with human papillomavirus (HPV), frequency of different sex partners, genital warts, smoking, receptive anal intercourse, and infection with human immunodeficiency virus, all affects her sex life.
The five stages of a healthy sexual behavior in a woman; desire, arousal, secreting fluid from vagina, orgasm and relaxation after orgasm, could be disturbed due to various factors in a woman’s life. These factors, as mentioned earlier, could be: Diseases, medications, stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and aversion to her partner, past sexual abuse/rape, low hormone level, nursing, or pregnant woman, and unhealthy lifestyle in general.
Unless there is a specific reason for the loss of libido in women, her loss of libido may be more imaginary and more of a put-off situation. Women, similar to men, find love making with the same partner and the same situation boring and stereotype. If she does not find sex interesting, she may never want to get back to the grind of having sex again, leaving it for the next best day when things will be better and more interesting or relaxing, for instance, on a Saturday night or
Sunday, when work load is lesser. However, circumstances may change the situation and those days may turn out to be different than planned, the program for sex again is differed to some other day, this carries on for some time by when the pleasure of having sex in the past erases from the memory. These erstwhile pleasures are replaced with a more practical thought of all the mess and undue physical exertion that sex acts brings in a clean bedroom. Eventually this lack of sexual desire stops the sexual response cycle before the next desire could even start- with the passing of time and with low level of hormone, it leads to almost a permanent shutdown of the libido in women.
It is most unfortunate to see how natures’ most affordable and pleasurable gift to men and women are so badly disrespected and ignored, bringing unhappiness and strained relationship between otherwise happy couples.
If only those people suffering from sex problems could stop for a while and think why they are suffering from what they are suffering; mostly, they may unlock the problems and get back to their good old selves once again. It is only about finding why and when things started going wrong in the body and mind to influence sexual conditions in performing poorly or not performing at all.
18.MEDICAL ATTENTION TO YOUR SEX PROBLEMS.
When everything fails and you may have exhausted all your resources in curing yourself of this pathetic malady, it is time you consult your doctor. You may discover later that your problem was more of the mind than the body. Women, generally have reasons that are more psychological than physiological in diminishing desire for sex. Since fewer women indulge in excessive smoking, alcohol, stressful jobs and lifestyle, their physiological function remain almost normal.
Their sensitivity towards their personal life plays a great role in their desire for sex. With failing marriage and stressful home front, they may lose that desire for romance and sex. Meanwhile, remember having a normal to low libido is very normal and common amongst married people.
When it is the same partner, home, family and daily drudgery, you cannot expect bursting libido and burning passion all the time as shown in movies and TVs. If you and your partner could only find time together to harmonies and keep renewing your relationship all the time by taking a long walk, listening to music, sharing a bottle of wine, bathing together or reading a romantic novel together; you will find several reasons to be able to have a normal to above normal libido.
Women should know, they are not alone in this world of low libido and sexual problems. Sexual problems in women are common, a large percentage of women, say about 45%, are suffering from it across the world. Good news is, many of them are able to get back to their old self again after undergoing certain therapies. So do not get discouraged. There are several ways you can seek medical help.
When you approach your doctor for help in this matter, he may ask you certain questions, some of which may be:
What is disturbing you sexually?
If your interest in sex has changed?
If you have arousal problem?
Do you experience vaginal dryness?
If you still have orgasm?
Any pain or discomfort during sex?
How the situation distresses you?
How long have you been suffering?
Are you still having your menses?
If you have been treated for any terminal disease?
If you have had any gynecological problems?
If you are on certain medication?
Your family problems, if any?
Besides, he may also ask you to undergo certain tests and medical examinations, such as, pelvic examination, thyroid and other tests, or he may refer you to nay specialist/ sex therapist for help.
After satisfying himself of your situation the doctor may try and find a solution to your problem.
Different branch of medicine may provide different cures. The cure could be categorized as:
Allopathic drugs and medicines, Homoeopathic treatment,
Ayurveda and Unani and other herbal ways of medicines, Psychotherapy and similar mental treatment,
Natural therapy.
Each of the above treatment is unique in itself and definitely one of the above should cure you and put you back sexually active again. The treatments are discussed below.
Allopathic drugs and medicines:
Foremost a woman can visit her GP and discuss the matter in detail, or visit her Gynecologist who may be better in dealing with her problem. Alternatively, a visit to her psychologist or her councilor may help deal with her mental conditions, responsible for her low sex drive or simply the loss of desire. Like Viagra for men, unfortunately, there is no such medicine for women. My long experience in observing women and their sexual behavior simply find their sex related problems to be more psychological or mental rather than physical or physiological. This is why medical fraternity has not been able to come up with any successful drugs for women.
Testosterone in women with androgen deficiency does help, but not much, it definitely comes with several side effects such as hoarseness, facial hair, and enlargement of the clitoris.
Male hormone definitely helps women in achieving a healthy sex drive. A combination of esterfied estrogens and of methyltestosterone testosterone with suppresses SHBG does show results in menopausal females. Females whose ovaries may have been removed may also benefit from this treatment.
Generally menopausal or ageing women show certain signs, such as depression, low spirit, no motivation, lack of energy, no interest in sex or romance, osteoporosis, weak muscles or painful intercourse. A therapy of male hormone, testosterone may certainly help relieve such women of their problems, bringing them back to an active sexual life once again.
Suction vibrator which applied suction to the clitoris to increase desire has been an almost failure.
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) does work; it is recommended for short-term use. Women using HRT for over 5 years need to stop it immediately for risks of cancer. HRT may cause cholesterol, colon cancer, Alzheimer disease, heart attack, breast cancer, stroke, blood clots, and osteoporosis in women, in case of long-term use. While Estrogens-progestin combines, replacement therapy is suitable for women, who may have undergone hysterectomy. Women with a history of any cancer, blood clotting, hypertension, liver disease, vaginal bleeding, or any unknown disorder must avoid HRT.
Women with vaginal dryness may be helped with lubricating gels, hormone creams, or even HRT for pre and postmenopausal women.
Kegel exercise may help women in increasing the blood flow to her vulvar/vaginal tissues and strengthen her muscles involved in contractions during orgasm.
Estrogens cream may be used as a lubricant during intercourse only. Vaginal estrogens tablets are inserted by the help of an applicator which releases hormones inside the vagina. Vaginal estrogens ring is a flexible ring which is placed inside the vagina. It releases low doses of hormones in a woman.
DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) a natural precursor of both testosterone and estrogen may be taken orally for increasing the libido. Unfortunately, it does not have any scientific research backing.
Niacin(Niacinamide) is a well-known in its ability to increase the blood supply to the sexual organs. Thus, it plays an active role in improving the female sexual arousal. Other vitamins and minerals are Vitamin c ( 250/500mg) once or twice daily. Vitamin E(alpha tocopherol acetate) 400iu once daily, B6 50-100mg a day as well as zinc say 30 mg per day. B.complex 50 to 100mg too is helpful. Several multivitamins containing selenium and other minerals are helpful.
As I said, women are more active mentally to their emotional problems; research shows any anti-depressant specially the “flibanserin” works in women in getting her libido back temporarily. It is never recommended to stay in any anti-depressant drug for long.
Dopamine, acetylcholine and nitric oxide are all helpful in increasing female libido.
Homoeopathic treatment:
Agnus Castus is the most reliable remedy in diminished sex desire in females. Mother tincture in water or as directed by the physician will surely show positive effect.
Onosmodium is another extremely powerful pathogen which is used in libido loss in females.
Low potency works best or as directed by the physician.
Ignatia and Sepia are two other remedies which may be used after observing the totality of the symptoms. They are best given in 6th potency or as directed by the physician. However, these two medicines works best when based upon the patient’s symptoms, mind and habits.
Ayurveda, Unani and other herbal ways of medicines: Certain herbs are sure to help females in curing their loss of libido, herbs such as Shatavari, Ashwagandha, pippali,shilajit, singly or in combination, 5 gram powdered herbs in little milk, three times a day will definitely show results in a short span of time.
It is said Black cohosh, ginseng, wild yam, all helps effectively in vaginal dryness.
To increase your libido, the use of herbs like Maca, Tongat Ali, Tribulus Terrestris, Catuaba bark extract, Horny Goat weed, Ginseng, Saw Palmetto, Yohimbe, and Damiana are recommended and may be effective.
To increase your libido, the use of herbs like Maca, Tongat Ali, Tribulus Terrestris, Catuaba bark extract, Horny Goat weed, Ginseng, Saw Palmetto, Yohimbe, and Damiana are recommended and may be effective.