Let’s face it, in today’s world vanishing from someone’s life entirely, even for 21 days, is about as hard as actually vanishing . Of course, it’s possible not to make direct contact with him, but chances are, you’re both going to have social media profiles on Facebook where you can see exactly what the other is doing, how many photos you’ve uploaded, and are able to read posts from your friends that may or may not refer to fun activities your ex is getting up to .
Should you shut off the social media? Go on a Facebook fast?
If you’re not into social media a great deal anyway, and can live without it, I recommend just not checking your Facebook for 21 days during your ‘No Contact Period’ . But chances are you’re going to get tempted, especially if you think there’s a chance your ex will
make contact or post some pictures for you to forensically dissect where he’s been and what he’s doing right now .
So here are some rules about this:
• Do NOT ‘like’ any of his posts or photos (you’re still in “No Contact”, remember? That includes this stuff) .
• Do not post on his Facebook wall .
• Do not send pictures or private messages .
And what about your own Facebook page? Remember, anything you post or allow on your Facebook profile right now may well be scrupulously read over by him . So in the name of all that is holy, make sure you do NOT:
• Post cryptic status updates about how down-in-the-dumps and upset you are .
• Post statuses that refer to you being at home alone watching Frozen in your dressing gown for the third time that day .
• Upload photos of you with random guys you met at a nightclub in an attempt to make him jealous .
• Post public messages to your friends about anything to do with your love life .
• Post fake-sounding upbeat messages about how happy you are .
Right now you treat your social media profile the way a company would . When times are bad for a business, would they publicize how much they are struggling to keep up sales and complain about all their in-house problems? No, they remain focused on carrying on as normal so that they don’t damage their credibility .
So the Ultimate Social Media Rule right now is to only let him see your best side, no matter what happens to be going on with you emotionally .
You might be thinking that this means you should post super-happy photos of you in a nightclub having the time of your life . Hey, maybe you even think you could put up a picture of you and your cute friend so that your ex sees it and wants to get in touch . This Jealousy Tactic is a common move undertaken by scorned men and women after relationships, but let me assure you this is a terrible idea, and will only come across as either fake, or at worst, will make him feel bitter and angry towards you . You want to be his team-mate now, someone he can empathise with, not someone whom he feels animosity towards . Continue being the woman he would want to marry even in the tough times, even when you are not pointing your efforts towards him .
Don’t suddenly put up pictures of you going out to bars and clubs three nights a week even though you never did before, in an attempt to show your boyfriend what an amazing time you’re now having . You suddenly transforming yourself into a party girl he was never into in the first place is not going to suddenly have him swooning over you and wanting you back.
Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t post any pictures that might stir up interest in your guy . But what you want to post are pictures that RAISE HIS INTEREST WITHOUT RAISING HIS ANIMOSITY.
A perfect example of this would be a snapshot of you at a Farmer’s Market with a friend, or maybe at the top of a monument or on a
hill after a hike . Let’s say you took a picture at the Farmer’s market of you with a giant pumpkin . You’re looking gorgeous in a new summer dress, and even though it’s daytime, he sees how incredible you’ve made yourself up .
You look like you’re having fun, but it’s not in a nightclub it’s in somewhere more interesting and less cliche . Unexpected even . He thinks: “She never went anywhere like that when we were together.
How come she’s doing that now? Where is she?”
Now you have his curiosity .
Because you’re somewhere unfamiliar to him, he’s going to see you in a different light . He’s also going to be wondering what you’re up to in other parts of your life . He’s also going to be asking himself who is behind the camera taking the picture .
This is all perfect because it raises questions for him . It keeps him off-balance (in a good way) . And that’s exactly what you want right now . This is why it’s good to do new things he can’t relate to . You don’t want your ex to see what you’re doing and think: Same old Sarah . Otherwise he’ll feel like you’re not going anywhere . So willingly embrace the new and different, and your ex will begin to see you as new and different!