Domain Ability Current
environment 1. Life pressures
2. Life satisfactions
Emotional literacy 3. Emotional self-awareness
4. Emotional expression
5. Emotional awareness of
others EQ competencies 6. Intentionality
7. Creativity
8. Resilience
9. Interpersonal
connections
10. Constructive discontent EQ values and
attitudes 11. Outlook
12. Compassion
13. Intuition
14. Trust radius
15. Personal power
16. Integrated self
EQ outcomes 17. General health
18. Quality of life
19. Relationship quotient
20. Optimal performance
Source: Adapted from Cooper (1996/1997).
performance are the dimensions which constitute the EQ outcomes domain. The EQ map evaluates a very broad interpretation of the emotional intelligence construct, along with a variety of related dimensions such as current environment and EQ outcomes which are not strictly part of the EQ construct as interpreted by other researchers who take a personality trait approach to emotional intelligence, such as Reuven Bar-On or Daniel Goleman.
Because validation studies of ability and personality trait measures of emotional intelligence are in their infancy, the debate about which approach is the most useful, under which circumstances remains unresolved.
ENHANCING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN ADULTHOOD
There has been a proliferation of programmes which claim to enhance emotional intelligence in schools and in the workplace (Salovey et al., 2002). Empirical investigation of the effectiveness of these training programmes is currently at an early stage of development. Empirical findings from the field of cognitive-behaviour therapy, however, suggest that training in the skills for self-monitoring, self-regulation, communication and problem solving might usefully be included in programmes to enhance emotional intelligence (Carr, 2000c).
Self-monitoring to increase emotional awareness
Self-monitoring enhances awareness of emotions, the situations that elicit these and the thoughts and beliefs that accompany them. Self-monitoring involves keeping a diary of emotional mood change episodes containing the following columns (as was noted in Chapter 3 in the section on attributional retraining):
• the Activity that led to the change in mood
• the Beliefs that led to the change in mood
• the Consequent mood change on a 10-point scale.
Reviewing this type of diary allows us to see that it is our beliefs or interpretation of events that contribute, in large part, to negative mood changes.
Self-regulation to manage distressing emotions
Well-developed routines for regulating depression, anxiety and anger have been developed within the cognitive-behavioural tradition. These have been mentioned in Chapter 1 in the section on managing adaptive but distressing emotions and in Chapter 3 in the section on attributional retraining, but will be recapped here. We can become aware of the situations in which episodes in which depression, anxiety and anger typically occur, and the beliefs we hold in such situations, by using the self-monitoring exercise outlined above.
For depression, we should avoid distressing situations. If this is not possible, we can focus on the non-distressing aspects of the situation. If this is not possible, we can assertively ask others whose behaviour we find distressing to behave in less stressful ways. The key to assertiveness is to say clearly what your preference is using an accurate and non-motive description of the situation that is problematic, a non-blaming ‘I-statement’ about how this makes you feel and a clear statement about what you would prefer. For example, ‘When I’m trying to finish these reports on time and your part is late, I get worried that we will not meet the deadline. I’d pref er in fut ur you would give me your part by the time we agreed.’ Alongside these strategies we should challenge pessimistic and perfectionistic beliefs that contribute to our low mood and look for evidence to support more optimistic alternative ways of making sense of each situation.
Pessimistic beliefs can be identified by using the self-monitoring exercise outlined above.
We can also reduce depression by increasing our activity levels. This involves engaging in regular exercise and scheduling events that we find stimulating and pleasurable. We
should also meet regularly with close friends and family members who we can count on to offer social support.
For anxiety, the key to self-regulation is to challenge threat-oriented beliefs identified through self-monitoring and look for evidence to support less threatening ways of interpreting these distressing situations. We can also practise being courageous by actively going into situations that frighten us and remaining there until our anxiety subsides. It is vital not to leave these threatening situations while anxiety is still increasing. When we take on these challenges, we should ask friends and family members for support and celebrate success. We should prepare well for these challenges by practising coping skills such as the relaxation exercises described in Chapter 7, listening to calming music and so forth.
For anger, use the self-monitoring task to learn the types of situations that trigger anger for you, and avoid these. If this is not possible, focus on the non-distressing aspects of the situation. If this is not possible, assertively ask others who are provoking you to behave in less stressful ways using the assertiveness style outlined above. If you begin to feel anger, stand back from the situation, physically and psychologically, and allow your physiological arousal level to decrease, so you can think more efficiently. We cannot think efficiently when we are highly physiologically aroused by anger, fear or excitement. Then try to hear, understand and empathise with the other person’s point of view. This will involve using the communication skills outlined below. When you do this, you may see that there are no grounds for being aggrieved, or if there are, that there are more constructive ways of settling the grievance. Usually this will involve using the problem-solving skills outlined below.
Communication
Communication skills are essential for empathising with others, for understanding their concerns and for setting the stage for interpersonal problem solving. To enhance these skills, schedule specific times and places for conversations in which you wish to use these skills. These should be times when there is no pressure to be elsewhere and in a place in which there are no distractions. Issues and problems should be discussed one at a time. Take turns fairly and make the speaking turns brief. Tell the other person that you want to know their views on one particular issue or situation. Listen carefully, to the other person’s viewpoint. If their position is not fully clear, ask them to say more about the details of their viewpoint. Then briefly summarise what you have heard the other person say and check that your summary is accurate. If your summary is not accurate, listen to their feedback and repeat the process of summarising and checking until you have achieved an accurate understanding of the other person’s position. Throughout this, try to listen without judging what is being said, and focus only on accurately remembering what the other person is saying. Put your own opinions and emotions on hold while you are listening. Avoid attributing negative intentions to the other person (negative mind-reading), composing your reply, defending yourself, interrupting or attacking the other person. When you have reached an accurate understanding of what the other person believes about the situation and what the situation looks like from their perspective you have achieved empathy.
When you have empathised with the other person’s position, then you can invite them to listen to your reaction to it. When speaking, decide on the exact points you want to make. Organise them logically. Say them clearly and then check that you have been understood. It is helpful when speaking to try to frame your points as congruent I statements, for example ‘I feel confused about what happened between you and me earlier today’. When you are speaking, state your points without attacking or blaming the other person and without sulking. When you are certain that the other person has understood you accurately, allow space for a reply.
After an episode of clear communication we understand and empathise with each other’s points of view. We can distinguish between areas of agreement and areas where there are differences of opinion. This paves the way for interpersonal problem solving.
Problem solving
Invariably when we collaborate with others to solve a problem, achieve a goal or complete a task, we need to use communication skills to achieve mutual understanding or empathy. However, we also need interpersonal problem-solving skills for developing and implementing effective joint action plans. Begin by scheduling a specific time and place where there are no distractions. Break big vague problems into many smaller specific problems. Define these in solvable rather than unsolvable terms. Generate many possible solutions without judging the merits of these. Examine the pros and cons or costs and benefits of each of these before selecting the best course of action to follow. Agree to implement the action plan after the problem-solving session and schedule a time to meet and review progress. When you meet, evaluate the effectiveness of the plan against pre-set goals. If the problem remains unsolved, repeat the process in light of knowledge about why the attempted solution was ineffective. To avoid obstacles to clear joint problem solving show the people with whom you are trying to solve the problem that it is the problem (not the person) that makes you feel bad, if the problem is frustrating.
Acknowledge your share of responsibility for causing the problem (if that is the case) and finding the solution. Do not explore the pros and cons of all of the possible solutions until you have finished brainstorming all the options. When you solve the problem, celebrate success.
While training in the skills for self-monitoring, self-regulation, communication and problem solving may enhance emotional intelligence in adolescents and adults, in the normal course of events, emotional intelligence follows a predictable developmental path as outlined in the next section.
DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE
Research on the development of emotional competence offers insights into probable developmental precursors of emotional intelligence in adulthood. Emotional regulation skills, the skills for expressing emotions and the skills for managing relationships involving emotional give-and-take develop gradually from infancy to adolescence, as can be seen from Table 4.5 (Saarni, 1999, 2000).
Infancy
During the first year of life infants develop rudimentary self-soothing skills such as rocking and feeding for regulating their emotions. They also develop skills for regulating their attention to allow themselves and their caregivers to coordinate their actions to sooth them in distressing situations. They rely on their caregivers to provide emotional support or ‘scaffolding’ during such stress. During the first year of life there is a gradual increase in non-verbal emotional expression in response to all classes of stimuli including those under the infant’s control and those under the control of others. At birth infants can express interest as indicated by sustained attention and disgust in response to foul tastes and odours. Smiling, reflecting a sense of pleasure, in response to the human voice appears at 4 weeks. Sadness and anger in response to removing a teething toy are first evident at 4 months.