(starts @ 31:01)
Karate Chop: Even though I need you to accept me right now…
…as I am…
…I accept my feelings… …and your rejection.
Even though I’m angry because you don’t accept me… …I deeply and profoundly accept myself anyway. Even though you won’t accept me as I am… …I accept who I am…
…no matter what.
Eyebrow: Please accept me.
Side of the eye: Please accept me. Under the eye: Just the way I am.
Under the nose: So what if I have clutter? Chin: So what’s it to you?
Collarbone: Please accept me. Under the arm: I accept me.
Top of the head: And it has taken a long time. Carol: Take a breath.
Rick: Ahhhhh… (deep breath)
Carol: Now in wonderful EFT fashion, I don’t have a charge on my parents
not accepting me. It just seemed very basic, like, “Kids, clean up your
room.” But I have a charge on a colleague relationship that you know about - that I have talked to you about - where he doesn’t accept me. He keeps telling me to slow down and do it this way, and “Why don’t you breathe when you do this, and…”
Rick: (laughing)
Carol: …it feels like an order from him. When I say ‘hello’, I’ve done it
wrong! It’s like, “Hug this way…” or “Breathe deeper…” or “Do this…” or “You talk fast.”
Carol: I feel that sense of, “Just accept me, or don’t play with me! Don’t
play in my sandbox!” My life is going pretty darn well. I don’t need to do it somebody else’s way, male, female, friend, colleague, anything. But it is striking to me that that came up with a charge while we were doing that about ‘accept me’. This is not someone whose approval I need. I don’t care about them much, I don’t need their approval professionally or personally, and it still feels really irksome.
Rick: What’s interesting is that - I believe it’s because we do not want to be
molded by somebody else’s vision of what we have to be in order to be acceptable. We just don’t. That sets up a, “Okay, I’m going to continue to do it the way that I want.” In relation to clutter, what we’re focusing on with this, as these emotions come up for you, and I bet a lot of people say “I accept me.” When Carol had us say that, while we were tapping, did it feel 100% true? Don’t be disappointed if it only felt 20% true, or 60% true, or 80% true. Just continue to tap on that particular round until you see that trend changing. Because if you can take either a professional relationship like Carol talked about or any relationship - anywhere where you’re not getting unconditional love… They’re looking at you and saying, “For me to really love and respect and admire and appreciate you, this is going have to change.” There’s a core part of us that says, “No way!”
Carol: “You should be different. You should do it my way.” As an adult,
hearing this, I’m thinking, “There’s nothing wrong with my way,” but it makes me defensive.
Rick: Yes.
Carol: Because the attitude is “You’re doing it wrong; if only you would
slow down.” Um, I’m not having any problems in my life with speed right now… What he is suggesting that I should do, these three things - if only I would do them differently whenever I see him - I think he’s going to vibrate right out of my life.
Rick: And that’s what you will notice here. As you do the tapping, the
people that are annoying to you, or that are the aggravators around your clutter, they will start diminishing in importance, psychologically and even in your physical life. They just will, because the hook is no longer there.
You’re not meeting them with resistance. If people were compliant with what the leader or some powerful person was dictating ‘had to be’, we never would have evolved. This impulse to ‘do it a little differently’ is part of why we have so much diversity and so much technology and all the other things that we have in the diversity of the human experience.
Carol: Anything more on anger? We didn’t end up doing so much on anger.
We got sort of sidetracked by my issues. (laughing) It was a personal session for me, thank you!
Rick: You’re welcome!
Carol: Anything else on anger or that sense of holding on or letting go? We
could do one more.
Rick: What happens if the person lets go of the anger? Carol: Mmm-hmm.
Rick: You know, I don’t want to clear my anger. It’s a good excuse not to… Carol: …release.
Rick: Yes. If I let go of my anger, then what will happen?
Carol: Let’s do one more for the anger on the releasing versus holding on,
and what might happen if someone lets go of their anger and lets go of their stuff, if they’re connected. Now, a lot of you won’t resonate with that, and you won’t think that’s connected, and that’s fine. Just tap along anyway.
Rick: Great.
Tapping on Anger
(Starts @ 36:10)
Karate Chop: Even though my stuff and holding onto it…
…reminds me of my anger…
…and I don’t want to let go of either… …I deeply and profoundly…
…accept myself anyway.
Even though having all this stuff…
…is a good excuse not to release my anger… …because I don’t want to…
…I’m afraid to…
…I deeply and profoundly accept who I am.
Eyebrow: I don’t want to clear my anger.
Side of the eye: I don’t want to clear my home. Under the eye: I want to hold on to both.
Under the nose: I might feel vulnerable without it. Chin: If I let go of my anger at them…
Collarbone: …who will I be?
Under the arm: What will I have?
Top of the head: No wonder I’m holding onto stuff. Rick: Ahhhhh… (deep breath)
Carol: There are so many variables here, and so many equations we could
make with emotions and with clutter. So, those of you listening, if the anger one didn’t quite hit or the scarcity feeling didn’t feel like a good match, don’t worry about it. Keep tapping with us, because all of these old issues can be relieved. Clear the way, and then clear your clutter.
Rick: We’re teaching our energy system how to acknowledge something
that’s there which is not pleasing to us and to clear it. That will then start being reflected in your physical world as well. “This is no longer pleasing to me as it sits here or even in my life at all.” I know how to clear that out. That’s where the emotional basis for noticing things - that big, chaotic mess - clearing them out, one by one. It teaches your whole being how to do that in every context, and to become very quick at it as well. It becomes
something that, on the emotional level, you start clearing anger and feelings of being hurt much more quickly, having done it with three or four or five specific energies that come up.
Carol: Excellent. Shall we move to guilt? Rick: Oh…guilt.
Carol: I think there are two directions that we could go with guilt, and I
think we’ll save the specific events for later. What we could now with the guilt is the guilt about throwing things away, the guilt about having clutter, the guilt about getting rid of clutter, the guilt about throwing things away. (Is it wasteful?) Then, later, we’ll do a segment on guilt from old conflicts in your past which somehow get connected to clutter now.
Rick: There’s the guilt of letting things go. There’s also the aspect of
Carol: We could do it both ways, but I think it’s a little more shame. The
other thing with guilt: I’ve had clients who grew up both in poverty and some who have grown up in great riches, and they end up having weird feelings of conflict and guilt around stuff.
Rick: How does guilt play into clutter at this point?
Carol: I think it plays in, in two different ways, and we’ll separate that. The
first is guilt from things you have done that you perceive are wrong in your life that may make you punish yourself or do something with clutter in your adult life.
Rick: Yes.
Carol: Another way is just guilt about stuff – guilt about having something,
guilt about not having something, guilt about throwing something away, guilt if you think it’s wasteful. You know how people can eat too much because they feel guilty about throwing it away, or they have too much because they don’t want to throw it away. Now, they’re not going to use it, by the way. They’re not going to use that broken lamp, but they’re not going to throw it away.
Rick: That’s a very good point. If you would feel guilty about letting go of
anything that is on the list, it can also keep you from starting in the first place. Guilt is such a powerful emotion. We will do almost anything to avoid it, and if we already have it, we don’t want to look at it because it is so
painful to look at without something like EFT to help soothe you while you are working through that feeling.