Artfully Concealed

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2007

Artfully Concealed

Athesia V. Benjamin

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Rochester,

A ThesisSubmitted to the_Facultyof The Collegeof

Imaging

Artsand Sciences

Fine Arts Studio Department In

Candidacy

fortheDegreeof

MASTER OF FINE ARTS

ARTFULL Y CONCEALED

By

Athesia V. Benjamin

In _{this work,} I attempted to create a series of self-portraits in which I am not

recognized or identified. I am intrigued withthe ideaof_{using my form} and likeness as

thegroundworkfor the painting,yet_gradually

distancing

myselfas the subject until I am

absent from the final work. In _this, I have redefined _{my function} as subject matter and

painter, and redefined the _meaning ofself-portraiture formyself. In my absence, I have

created characters behind which I can hide as I take on new identities.

My

purpose in

these paintings is the same as

'x'

in a math equation. Even in my attempt to be

anonymous, thesepaintingshave become amazinglyautobiographical. Inthepaintings in

which I am dressed as a surgeon (which I consider _my most successful in terms of_my

being

unidentified), I unintentionally take onissues about _{hospitals, sickness,} and _death,

whichhave been recurring themesin my life this year. The earliest ofthis thesis series

are _clearly traditional self-portraits and were created before I came to _my final thesis

Chief Advisor:

Alan Singer

Signature:

Date:

Associate Advisor:

Tina Lent, Ph.D

Signature:

Date:

Associate Advisor:

Robert N. Heischman

Signature:

Date:

Department Chairperson:

Donald Arday

Signature:

Title of thesis or dissertation:

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I understand that I must submit a print copy of my thesis or dissertation to the RIT Archives, per current RIT guidelines for the completion of my degree. I hereby grant to the Rochester Institute of Technology and its agents the non-exclusive license to archive and make accessible my thesis or dissertation in whole or in part in all forms of media in perpetuity. I retain all other ownership rights to the copyright of the thesis or dissertation. I also retain the right to use in future works (such as articles or books) all or part of this thesis or dissertation.

Print Reproduction Permission Granted:

I,

Athesia Benjamin

,

hereby grant permission to the Rochester Institute Technology to reproduce my print thesis or dissertation in whole or in part. Any reproduction will not be for commercial use or profit.

Signature of Author:

Athesia Benjamin

Date: _ _ _ _ _

Print Reproduction Permission Denied:

I, , hereby deny permission to the RIT Library of the Rochester Institute of Technology to reproduce my print thesis or dissertation in whole or in part.

Signature of Author: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Date: _ _ _ _ _

Inclusion in the RIT Digital Media Library Electronic Thesis

&

Dissertation (ETD) Archive

I,

Athesia Benjamin

,

additionally grant to the Rochester Institute of Technology Digital Media Library (RIT DML) the non-exclusive license to archive and provide electronic access to my thesis or dissertation in whole or in part in all forms of media in perpetuity.

I understand that my work, in addition to its bibliographic record and abstract, will be available to the world-wide community of scholars and researchers through the RIT DML. I retain all other ownership rights to the copyright of the thesis or dissertation. I also retain the right to use in future works (such as articles or books) all or part of this thesis or dissertation. I am aware that the Rochester Institute of Technology does not require registration of copyright for ETDs.

I hereby certify that, if appropriate, I have obtained and attached written permission statements from the owners of each third party copyrighted matter to be included in my thesis or dissertation. I certify that the version I submitted is the same as that approved by my committee.

BENJAMIN,ATHESIA V. (MFA.,

Painting)

Artfully

Concealed, March,2007

AbstractoftheMFAdocumentcompleted atRochester Instituteof_Technology

Thesis Exhibitionsupervised

by

Professor Alan Singer

No. of pagesintext: 36

The

following

document isa_summaryofthe developmentof_mywork

during

two years in the _{MFA painting} program at Rochester Institute of Technology. The

process intrinsic to thesis _{development eventually brought} me to _{my final} concept of

obscuring my

identity

asa_way to

develop

a

body

offigurativepaintings.

Along

withthe

eleven pieces created

during

thistwo-year period,I havethoroughly studiedthis specific

topicwithin thecontext of_contemporaryand historicalart and identified artistswith like

Thisthesis is dedicatedto _{Afa, Cathy, Eric,} Kenneth and Velvia. Thank youforeach of

your individual contributions towards

helping

me complete this degree. You all have

created an_amazing web of supportforme,onethatInever wanttotake forgranted.

I'd like to acknowledge _{my thesis committee;} Tina _Lent, Bob Heischman, and Alan

Singer, foryour _{encouragement,} patience and guidance throughout the yearsthat I have knowneachofyou. Iam grateful formentorssuchasyou.

March_9th,2007

Athesia Benjamin: Thesis Paintings

Givers _ofGoodThings Plate 1

Self-portraitin Yellow Shirt 2

Responsein Blue 3

Crying

4

You Can 't See Me 5

Tradition 6

Trabaja 7

War 8

Arrow 9

Stat 10

Afa 'sSelf-portrait 1 1

Thesis Exhbition 12-15

Introduction Page 14

The Work 15

First Thesis Topic Submitted 24

Real-life Situationsthat Influenced Work 25

Influential antecedents and

contemporary references inself-portraiture 27

TechnicalIssues 30

The Future oftheIdea 35

Works Cited 37

Athesia

Givers_ofGood Things

2003

OilonCanvas

Self-portrait inYellow Shirt

2003

OilonCanvas

ResponseinBlue

2003

OilonCanvas

Crying

2003

OilonCanvas

Athesia Benjamin

You Can't See Me

2003

OilonCanvas

Tradition 2003

OilonWood Panel

Trabaja

2004

OilonWood Panel

War

2004

OilonWood Panel

Arrow

2004

OilonWood Panel

Stat

2004

OilonCanvas

Afa's

Self

portrait

2004

OilonWood Panel

Thesis Exhibition: Left

Bevier

Gallery

Plate13

ThesisExhibition: Centerview

Bevier_Gallery

Plate15

Thesis Exhibition: Far-rightside view

The self-portrait,an image ofavisual artist

by

_{that artist,} offers a

density

of _{meaning beyond} aesthetic value. Its complexity rests within a mixture ofthe artist with the art, the public with _{the private, the} subject

with the object, the historical with _{the psychological,} andthe truth with

the lie. -Susanna

Coffey

(Maxwell26)

Embarking

on the path of self-portraiture from the

beginning

of _my graduate

career allowed me the _opportunity to work in that specific genre almost _exclusively and

to _study the historical antecedents with the intentions of _attempting to contribute to the

tradition. _{The early} paintings of the thesis series adhere to the tenets oftraditional

self-portraiture. Those visual attributes that could characterize self-portraits throughout

history

include a centrally-placed figure within the picture _plane, more often an

emotionless or serious expression, and a background that could be described as

atmospheric and non-descript. The _{difference between my early} works andthe final few

pieces ofthe thesis series, however, differ because I began to

intentionally

_{disguise my}

likeness until _{my identity} was obscured in the final painting. In _{this, I} recreated _my

functionas subject matter and painter simultaneously, and redefined the _meaningof

self-portraitureformyself andthe viewer. Inplaceof_mylikeness, Icreatedcharacters whose

identities Icould explore.

My

presence inthese paintings couldbe analogous to "x" in a

math equation,where

"x"

isthe unknown,butcould_{be many}things.

With a _body of work so personal, I was concerned that the viewer might

misunderstandthework as

being

narcissistic andtrivial, andthatconcern prompted meto

questionthenotion ofnarcissismandego, especiallyas itpertains to theartist. I began to

accept its potential as an area of psychological investigation and as a _natural, but

narcissism, or self-love as a formof resistance from the tyranny ofmediocrity and as a

site of

solace."

(Maxwell ₄₆₎ The resolution that I arrived at for my thesis deliberately

reflects our human _narcissism, while _{paradoxically}

being

the antithesis of the same, in

that I am not _{easily identified.}

My

_culminating work explores the

artists'

life-long

relationship with her own _gaze, but at the same time, subscribes to a certain

psychological subject matter within figurative art, specifically within _contemporary self

portraiture: and that is the act of_assuming a character role. In the paintings that reflect

my thesis topic, I was able to exchange _my

identity

for another and become somewhat

anonymous.

TheWork

The

feeling

of

having finally

arrived at a concept that could be the catalyst for

provocative work was incredible, _especially when compared to the lack of direction and

frustration I experienced _{my first} year.

During

that first year, I experimented with

non-figurative subjects, alternative_painting formats, andnew _{painting mediums,} but at the end

of

Spring

Quarter, I didn't feel anycloserto adefinitetopic. I feltsomewhatunproductive

in terms of _producing finished, show _pieces, but that time proved to be valuable in the

developmentof_mywork.

One _thing I was sure of was _{my desire} to work with the _figure, and

during

winter quarter ofthatfirst _year, IpaintedGivers_ofGood Things (Plate 1),adoubleportrait

of_myparents. _My ambition to worklarge isevidentin _{this piece,} butwhatis also _evident,

and_frustrating, isthatIwasn't yet adept at _workingwithsuch large forms. Thefigures are

larger than _life, but the torsos come to an abrupt and awkward end at the bottom of the

Quarter forthe sole purpose of_viewing art and_seeking outinspiration. As aresult, Givers

of Good Things was the _{last painting in} which the placement of the figures was so

unresolved.

A single _{painting in Forum}

Gallery

_{(NYC) ultimately inspired the} first two

pieces of _my thesis series. _{The painting} was a _{larger-than-life,} three-quarter length

self-portrait

by

William Beckman (Figure 1). What struck me the most about Beckman's

paintingwas how he croppedthe life-size figures just below the_knees, without _sacrificing

the impact and strength of the piece. On that

Spring

_day, I left the Forum

Gallery

[image:25.573.104.334.351.614.2]

encouragedto attemptanotherlarge _figure, large formatpainting.

Figure 1

William Beckman

American Modern _(Overcoats)

1999

Oilon Panel

48"

canvas and began Self-portrait in Yellow Shirt (Plate 2). This six-week

long

endeavor was a direct and immediate visual response to _my recent

discovery

in New

York City. Upon _{completing that, I} challenged myself to paint another self-portrait,

Response in _Blue, (Plate ₃₎ with the same _dimensions, to be completed within the

restriction of one week.

By

the end of that

Spring

quarter, I had completed five

self-portraitsinall.

Iconsider Self-portrait in Yellow ShirtandResponse in Blue to bethe centerpieces

of_{my thesis work,} because _they were catalysts for the _resulting paintings, and _they also

visually anchored the othereight paintings in my thesis show exhibition (Plates 12-15).

ThefirstpiecethatIpainted

during

theFall of_{my final} year was_Crying (Plate 4). Inthis

piece, I began working with a _{significantly different} color palette compared to _my

previous paintings. The colors are _unsaturated, due to the inclusion of black in my

palette. On the advice of one _my professors years _before, I never used _{black in any}

painting, but

during

this time, I begantoexperimentwith

ivory

black when_mixingcolors

forthe inanimateelementsinthesepieces, such asclothing,props orbackgroundspace.

Looking

back, I can _clearly see how nearly every painting was somehow influenced

by

the _painting that preceded it. That was

definitely

the case with

Crying

and the

subsequent piece, You Can't See Me (Plate 5). For example, the large geometric

expansesin

Crying

could beseen as maquettes forthe more _built-up, architectural space

in You Can 't See Me. Also,the twopieces were painted fromthe same pools ofpaint, so

the palettes are almost identical. The marked difference in You Can 't See Me is thatthe

figure is now engaged in an _action, as opposedto

being

static andfrozen as _myprevious

figures were. I went into this piece with the same intentions for the figure that I had

some

difficulty

and frustration _{in painting} the facial features, particularly the eyes, I

attempted to solve _my problem

by

_{simply covering my} eyes with _{my hand.} I meantthis

to_{be merely}alast-ditchsolutionto whatwas

becoming

adisproportionedface, but found

that this simple gesture added asense of_mystery andinterestto thepainting.

Before I began the sixth _paintingof_{this series,} Idid some research on

artists'

use of

gestures in self-portraiture. Ilearnedthat a precedenthad been setforgestures similarto

mine, most _notably

by

18th _{century English} artist Joshua Reynolds (Figure 2). In this

painting,Reynolds holds his hand upto his_eyes, but insteadof_{completely covering}them

as I did in You Can 't SeeMe,he is actually shielding them, in whatseems to bean effort

to better see the viewer. His action suggests that somewhere beyond the picture plane is

some source of intense light or _{illumination,} and that is confirmed

by

the _strong cast

shadow ofhis hand

falling

acrosshis face.

Figure2

Joshua Reynolds Self-portrait OilonCanvas

[image:27.573.150.329.433.669.2]

deference to self-portraitists who hadalsobecome aware ofthe power and symbolismin

gestures. In direct response to _{my discovery,} the sixth piece in this series, Tradition

(Plate_6), depicts the_{figure shielding her}eyes. As Imentionedearlier,

Reynolds'

gesture

isa universal symbolthatrepresents _protectingones eyes fromthe sun. In mypainting, I

attemptedtoaccountforthissuggestionofintense light

by having

the two mainelements,

being

thefigure andtheground,on opposite ends ofthe value scale.

The next piece in this series is titled Trabaja (Plate 7), which means _work, in

Spanish. _{This painting is}

directly

influenced

by

the work of Elmer Bischoff (Figure 3).

Bischoff began his career as an abstract expressionist painter in California

during

the

1950's. Heis as muchknown for his_large,colorful abstracts ashe is for his sudden

mid-career shift to _painting the figure and other objective subjectmatter. _{The painting} that I

created was a direct result of

having

researched and studied Bischoffs work. The

positioning of the figure in space and the indication ofthe interior are not unlike one of

Bischoffs'

laterworks. Also, I attempted to capture the sense of_urgency that is evident

in his_brushwork,whichcouldbe seen as a vestige ofhisearlierabstractions. In an effort

to create _consistency between these _paintings, I again make use of the harsh contrast

between a saturated _primarycolor (in this case, thebright red ofthe shirt), and the dark

gray-blue oftheground.

GirlwithBlue Blouse OilonCanvas

Private Collection Landauer 96

War (Plate₈₎ couldbeviewed asthe _{first painting}thatconformed to_{my declared}

thesis topic of disguised self-portraits. In this piece, the figure is dressed in a surgeon's

uniform,

holding

a shovel over one _shoulder, with the other arm in a sling. This is the

first of two pieces in which I displayed the figure dressed as a doctor or surgeon. The

impetus for this _painting was _actually the shovel that the figure is holding. Due to the

exceptionally

icy

winterthat year, I was_usingthis shovel to_{break up large} chunks ofice

in my driveway. Oneevening, Inoticed_{this shovel,} not as_representingthemanuallabor

that I associated with _it, but as an object that had symbolic and aesthetic potential. I

further challenged myself with this _prop

by

the _{way I} chose to

display

it -over _my

shoulder withaforeshortenedview ofthehandle.

Another artist who depicted himself as a medical professional is German artist Max

Beckmann. Self-portrait as a Medical

Orderly

(Figure 4) was created in response to

Beckmann's experiencesas amedicin the _{German army}

during

WWI. Inwhat seems to

be an effort to purge his

being

of the death and trauma he witnessed, here he depicts [image:29.573.163.456.51.250.2]

this case, represent of _{the saddest,} darkest aspects of war (Selz 21). Born February 12,

1884, in Leipzig, Saxony, the heart of _Germany, Max Beckmann was a proponent of

objectiveand figurative painting (Selz 5). Ibecame acquaintedwithhis work as astudent

at the School of Visual Arts where I had the chance to view his large, allegorical

triptychs. It wasn't until some years later that I learned of the scores of self-portraits

Beckmann created throughout his career -some _very traditional, while others are purely

fanciful andtheatrical.

Figure4

Max Beckmann

Self-portraitasaMedical_Orderly Oilon canvas

London,National Portrait

Gallery

http://www.humboldt.edu/rwj

1/30

lG/084.html

The smallest _painting of _my thesis series is a 6 x 6"

oil on wood portrait of _my

daughter, Afa (Plate 9). _{I originally intended for} this piece to _simply serve as a respite

from mymore serious thesis work, hence the small dimensions and monochromaticblue

palette. Although this _{painting is clearly} not a self-portrait, images of _{my daughter,} as

[image:30.573.136.490.294.576.2]

personal

body

ofpaintings.

My

parents _embodythevalues and ideas thathave helped to

shape _me, and images of _{my daughter} represent a variation of those non-physical

characteristics.

The largest_painting of _{this thesis work, titled} Stat (Plate 10), is aconvergence of

allthe separate elements that make_{up my}concept ofdisguised self-portraits. The figure

is completely disguised, the piece is large _format, and I had to _rely on the subject/image

creating techniques, (a combination of _observation, photographic referencing, and

memory painting) that I developed throughout this thesis process. The idea for this

paintingcame about afterI learnedthat _{my daughter had}seen some inappropriate images

on television while atdaycare. In _anger, I

impulsively

threw our small-screenTV. onto

the asphalt behind our apartment. Before placing the broken television on _{the curb,} I

became curious about the contents behind the screen and proceeded to take it apart.

Stimulated

by

the _circuitry and colors I found _inside, I brought the television into the

studio thenext day. It seemed natural that I use the same surgeon's costume that Iwore

forthepreviouspainting,sinceI_had, inasense,

'dissected'

the television. Ialso felt like

Ibroke some new groundinterms oftheexpressiveness ofthefigure.

Up

untilthis_point,

myexploration of expression in these paintings was limited to the emotional face ofthe

figure in Crying. For the most part, the figures in these paintings served as an

expressionless iconic form, or subject, within which I could explore color _{relationships,}

the act of painting, and composition. In this piece, though, the figure steps out of that

capacity and is now

"alive,"

and in action. As mentioned _before, I touched on facial

expression in a previous painting. Now, I was _exploring the implications of physical

process of

disabling

the_monster,which isabenefitto society.

The final _painting ofthis

body

ofwork is "Afa's

Self-portrait,"

and it as an image

of_{my daughter painting her}ownself-portrait asI lookon. This painting is roughly based

on a photomontage created from reference photos that I took while Afa was _{painting in}

my studio.

Looking

beyond the obvious visual content ofthis piece, this painting aptly

represents an important part of _my creative process that developed since

having

_my

daughter, and that is constantly, (and subconsciously), maintaining an attitude of

openness, withthe _{understanding}that inspiration_{for my} paintings can come at anytime,

at anyplace. Once I becamea_parent, it isunderstandable that _myapproach and process

would have to undergo some _necessary adaptation. I was no longer able to work on a

piecefor hours at atime,or pour overbooksthat wouldinform my ideas. This necessary

adaptation tookits form in a greater reliance on the spontaneous and_{everyday film-stills}

oflife.

Early

on,as an undergraduateart student and newmom, I subconsciously learned

to lookfor ideas andinspiration in my everyday life with_{my daughter. Those}things that

would be categorized as mundane had now become creative _{fodder for my} work. I

realized _early on that the documentary-style method that I always used _{in approaching}

my art had become stronger and more evident because of motherhood. This piece has

come to represent that modification that occurred in my _process, and that can _{clearly be}

seen in the content. In the _{painting (Plate 11),} Afa is represented _twice, in the studio

space and in the reflection ofthe mirror. I am also in the mirrors'

reflection, and I am

simplywatching mychild_paint, asI haddoneso _manytimes. Thiswas notthefirst time

I had observed her and then been _{suddenly inspired} to create. Once I realized the

potential of this scene I was _watching, I began to take reference images. Although I

consider

leaving

_{it in its}

under-painting stage. I had created a precedent for my use of monochromatic blue inanother portrait of_Afa, and Ienjoyed the_clarity ofcontent when

color was not a_factor,soIagreed with

leaving

thispiecein its

"unfinished"

state.

One common threadthat runs through the major pieces in this series is my use of simple abstract elements in the spaces not occupied

by

the figure. I have always sought

to _{have my} work represent the observable and _factual, but I have also always had

admiration for artists with an opposite preference, such as color-field painters Mark Rothko and Richard_Diebenkorn, and minimalist artists like Anne Truitt. With the level

ofvisual _studying that _my work _entails, I've found thatIappreciate that rest forthe eyes

that is afforded when _observing expanses of color without much interference

by

shape andform. I begantouse thebackground and

"empty"

spacesof_mypaintingsto workout

my abstractinclinations,_{especially concerning geometry} within minimalist_painting, and areasof pure color.

First Thesis Topic Submitted

Although I had hit awave of_{productivitybypainting my}own_likeness, I hadtrouble

viewingself-portraiture as a validthesis topic. I wasafraidthat theviewer woulddismiss

the work as self-centeredness on display.

Succumbing

to this self-doubt resulted in my

momentary dismissal ofexploring self-portraiture. As an alternative _topic, I submitted a

proposal that would_visually explore the _{Italian painting} term _tenebroso, orextreme and

dramatic light and dark. In this, I was further encouraged to research the film genre of

to whatevertopic I

finally

settled on. Interestingly,the major componentsofthefilmnoir

thesis _{idea, i.e.,} light and _dark, scene development and theater, were fundamental to my

final topicofdisguisedself-portraits.

It is important to note that select paintings created

during

that first year were

included in my show, although _they were unrelated in many ways to the core

body

of

work. I felt that the inclusion of these pieces was essential, as it made evident the

sequencingof_mysometimes struggled process.

Real-life SituationsthatInfluencedwork

Many artists have had the experience of_creating a_piece, or a

body

of _{work, to}

later discover that the art has made a subliminal visual _commentary about _{their real-life,}

personal events. I experiencedthat in the creation of some ofthe pieces in this

body

of

work.

During

the summer after_{my first}graduate _year, aclose

family

friend became very

sick, suffered throughthe summer _months, andthen died in August of thatyear. I was a

first-hand witness to this woman's three-monthdecline. I drove herto

Strong

Memorial

hospital the night she fell _ill, wrote her obituary when she _died, and mine was the _only

carin theprocessionto her burial. Ascan beimagined, Ispent _{many hours}that summer

just observing, thinking, and

discussing

issues of sickness and _health, and hospital

procedures.

up-close _way, and to make it even more _poignant, she was _my mother's friend and

contemporary.

Itwas

long

afterI had finishedthepaintings WarandStatthatIrealized therehad

been a _{strong, psychological,} but subconscious transference of the events over that

summer into _my work. I was made most aware of this when I later reflected on the

medical doctorcostumes and accessories I chosetowear. In_Stat, the_{figure is performing}

an operation on the _television,

donning

asurgical _mask, latex gloves andhospital scrubs.

Also, the facial expression is intense, and even _{distressed, making it} appear to be one of

the dramatic life-or-death situations that take place in _hospitals, but that we otherwise

only see on television. In the _{painting War,} the _{figure is wearing} the same hospital

scrubs,

holding

a shovelinone_hand, withtheother armin a sling. Aftersome reflection,

I was shocked

by

the undeniable connection between the events ofthat summer and the

medical andhospitalreferencesthat_{I included in my}paintings.

The _{first painting I} created when I came back to _my studio that _September,

Crying, was _{my only} conscious attempt to comment on this _very emotional and also to

make the experience relevant to the task athand_-creating a

body

of work. I wantedthis

paintingto communicate_my sadness about_{the experience,} and

by

_{attempting that, I}came

to recognize animportant aspect ofself-portraiture, and that is that a face functions as a

majorcommunicator, strong-and sometimes even silent.

Painting

an image of myselfin

intense emotion moved me beyond the traditional dead-pan face that I had always

Under the best of _{circumstances,} revelations about oneself are a _very

tricky business. We all have aspects of ourselves that we feel should

remain hidden and under _cover, for fear of how others will react if the dreaded truths become disclosed. For the artists, it stands to reason that

the process of _creating self-portraits which disclose conscious or

unconscious aspects of the self would take place in the safe and _solitary

confines ofthe studio. _There, onemight use a mirrortocreateareflection

of _{self-representations,} parts or fragments of the self -self-esteem,

narcissistic _{aspects, yearnings,} needs, wants, traumas, physical or

psychological _{idiosyncrasies,} etc.-_{to make public} and private disclosures intheself-portrait. (Maxwell ₅₎

It seems as though the _preceding statement would

likely

_apply to the most

contemporary self-portraits in history. Before the 19th _century, the purpose of

self-portraits was similar to that of _early portraiture, in which the _{final painting} served as

documentation or proof ofthe artists'

life and existence. In the case ofmaster painter

Rembrandt van _Rijn, he created countless _{self-portraits,} not _only to chart the physical

changes ofhislife, butalsotomark significant(oftentragic)lifeevents.

First, more than _any other artist before or _since, Rembrandt turned his

gaze on himself. He painted, etched, and sketched almost a hundred self-portraits in his sixty-three years. Taken as a _{whole, they} amount to an intimate autobiography, intendedor_otherwise,thatbegan in his youth and

ended_{only in his death. (Housden 12)}

The contemporaryartist who Imost relatetowithin thecontext of_my thesistopic

is photographer

Cindy

Sherman. I've been acquainted with Sherman's work for quite a

few years, but it wasn't until the final few months of _my graduate experience that I

realized the connection between herwork and mine. Born in New

Jersey

and raised on

Long

Island,

Cindy

Sherman is one of the best examples of an artist who has

painted _{self-portraits),}

eventually moved on to find her niche as a_{photographer,} but not

before

failing

her

introductory

photography course at the State

University

College at

Buffalo, New York (Cruz _Smith, and Jones 1). Her "Untitled Film Stills"

series, for

which sheis _probablybest_known,allfeature herasthemain characterin whatappearsto

[image:37.573.143.405.241.478.2]

bemovie_{stills, butyet, she claimsherworkisnot aboutheratall.}

Figure 5

Cindy

Sherman Untitled Film Still #7 1978

Gelatin Silverprint

Morris 39

She takes pictures in which she appears as a model...She makes _up

stories without beginnings or _endings,

leaving

the narrative to the

imagination of the viewer. Sherman doles out just enough information

to

imply

_something

by

_{setting up} the "action," thenhands theballoffto

theviewer. (Morris ₁₂₎

What

Cindy

Sherman has done with her photography is what most artists aspire

to: to create _intriguing,

interesting

art with the resources most available, while _allowing

contemplating our own emotions -not

hers."

(Morris ₆₃₎ In the late 80's, Sherman

produced another notable

body

of work inspired

by

famous paintings from art history,

titled the

History

Portraits. _{In these,} Sherman poses as the main figures in her

interpretationofhistorical works. Iconsiderthese to be hermost dramatic piecesin that

she makes full use of _{make-up, prostheses,} costumes and props to recreate these

figurative artworks. Even as a _{young child,} Sherman displayed a _propensity for the

theatrical. For_fun, she would_{dress up} asan old

lady

and walk aroundherneighborhood,

completely

fooling

her neighbors. I can relate to the _{refreshing anonymity} that that

activitywould afford.

After studyingthe lifeand work of

Cindy

Shermanand otherartistswith a similar

aesthetic, I am left with the conclusion that most of us aspire to two extremes: to be

knownand_recognized,but_also,at_times,tobeunrecognized and anonymous.

Figure6

Cindy

Sherman

UntitledFilm Still#225 Cibachrome

1978 Morris 92

[image:38.573.154.424.432.673.2]

As Iworked on_{these paintings,} I foundmyself_spending moretime _preparingand

mixing the colors on _my palette. I had always been aware of the _{direct relationship}

between the palette and the painting, _{but working} on such alarge scale _{simply brought}

those issues to the forefront. I spent a great deal of time _mixing and _altering the colors

thatIwantedtowork_with, often _{creating hue}andvalue variations ofamain colorforuse

during

a single _painting session. I realized that I was _{spending just} as much time

preparing my palette as I was _{actually applying} those colors to the canvas, and, as a

result, myuse of colorinthesepaintings seemedmore mature than_{in any}previous work.

I had made the _{decision early} on that I would attempt to paint larger than I ever

had, so it goes without_saying that_my tools -brushes, palette, palette knives- would also

have to be larger than I was used to _working with. Some of the brushes that I used to

create these pieces _(especially for the large expanses of color in the _backgrounds) were

comparable to the size ofhouse painting brushes. In order to utilize these _{larger tools, I}

was forced to become aware of the role that physical _energy and exertion played when

working on such a large scale. The term _"Sunday Painter" _probably wouldn't denote a

relaxing activity if the canvasses were larger than four feet. _{In working} so _{large, my}

paintingpreparation would begin

long

before I arrived at the studio. I would attempt to

preserve _{my energy}earlier in the

day

to assure a

lengthy

_painting session later on.

My

new realization of the _{relationship between} canvas size and _energy expended made me

reconsidertheAction_paintingstyle ofthe50's.

AlsocalledAbstractExpressionism, this style"often emphasizedthe physical act

of_{painting itself}as an essential aspect ofthe finished

work."

was drawn to the aforementioned figurative work ofElmer Bischoff and the other

Bay

Area AbstractExpressionists ofthe50's.

The three

Bay

Areaartists

"returned"

to the figure paradoxically to save

what was salvageable in abstraction.

They

strove to preserve not _only

the technical achievements of "action

painting,"

with its sensuously

loaded brushand sumptuouscolor, butits idealistic aims andconvictions

as well. (Jones₃₆₎

After

having

readthrough thegraduate_handbook, Iwas_veryconscious (andabit

anxious) about the requirement to create _{"groundbreaking}

work."

Although I was

encouraged

by

the _{early direction} and development of _my self-portraiture, I felt that

aspiring to create _{groundbreaking} work was _probably too

lofty

an ambition _{for any}

graduate student and_probably outside of_my reach, given the richtradition ofthe genre.

However, when I

finally

settled on _my topic and began to work through _{my ideas,} I

realized that I might have

inadvertently

stumbled upon an area of focus that could be

deemed groundbreaking within _contemporary painting. That place that _{I ultimately}

arrived at, nearly

halfway

into my final year, was a direct result of some _technical,

practical, and subjective _conditions, some of which I placed on myself and some which

wereamatter ofcoincidence. The majorcondition was that the workwouldbe realistic,

but loose inapplication, andfigurative.

I knew from early on that I would not _{be working} with a model. I wasn't sure

how I could resolve _{this, seeing} as how I wanted to work with the _figure, but I didn't

wantthe success of_mythesistobedependenton a model's whims and availability.

who wasn't significantto _my workor_{my life somehow. Sculptor Alan Rath describes} a

similar sentiment_concerninghisown work:

When I first started_putting faces_{in my} sculptures,Iused_myown face for

the same reason I had used _my own hand or nose in other sculptures: the

model was _easily available and cooperative. It was unintentional that the

sculptures would_portrayme and _myown feelings. I hadassumedthat the

depictedsituations are commonplace and I was _{merely standing in for}the

"every

man."

(Maxwell₆₈₎

Another condition

inadvertently

helped to shape and mold the foundation ofthe

thesiswork. I

initially

viewedthe lackofnatural light inthe_paintingstudios asadefinite

handicap, but in the _end, that _actuallyproved to have been abenefit to the work; both in

my understandingof what informs myparticular aesthetic aswell as

heavily

_contributing

to the mood ofthe entire

body

of work. I first became aware ofthe role and importance

oflight in myworkasan undergraduate, and as anMFAcandidateIfelt limited in whatI

could do withjust the fluorescent lights available _{in my} studio. The summer

following

my firstgraduate year, Igained permission to accessthe

drawing

and_paintingstudioson

the third floor just to have available the option of a natural light source. I also removed

the_{fluorescent bulbs in my}studio space andbroughtin flood lamps inorderto haveeven

more control over the light in the paintings. Out of frustration with the limits and

weakness of the flood lamps, I _eventually bought a work

lamp

that emitted a type of

ultravioletlight. This accessorywould proveto beas importantto_my workas_mypaints

andbrushes. As Imentioned, I always soughtto_tightlycontrolthe_{light in my paintings,}

andI didnot expectthis

lamp

to produce thedifferent, cooler lightthat_{it did. In mixing}

and _preparing colors to paint, I _surprisingly found myself _working with an _alternative,

contrastthatI achievedbetweenthefigure's shirt againstthe

deep

coolblue- violet ofthe

background inSelf-portrait in Yellow Shirt is intense, due to the warm nature ofthebulb

illuminating

theyellow shirt.

Ifanyone were to walk _{into my} studio after I declared this thesis topic, it would

have appearedthatImight _{possibly be working}on some strangetheaterproduction. The

box-like shape ofthe studio space, the darkness cut

by

a sole _light, even the objects, or

"props"

lying

around, all came together to produce the

feeling

of _witnessing a

performance on an intimate stage.

Looking

back on _my process and the _culminating

work, I realized_{how my involvement}with theater

during

_{my high} school years was now

informing

my painting aesthetic.

During

_{my teen years, my acting} experience consisted

mainly of_monologues, and

looking

back to the space that Icreatedfor _{these paintings,} I

believe I subconsciouslyreconnectedto _{my many}experiences of

being

alone on stage.

Duringthatfinal graduate _year, I was much more aware of_my studio space as an

entity and presence in the work. In the ambiguous scenes that _{I ultimately created, the}

geometrycreated

by

things_{in mystudio,}andtheatmosphere created

by

a sole light in the

darkspace, both became supportingcharacters.

Not only did I find myself_referencingtheater

lighting

in _{these paintings,} but also

the scene changes that occur throughout a theatrical production. As a cast member in

plays, Iremember

being

soimpressed

by

theelaborate sets createdfor some productions.

I believe that this influence _{found its way} to the forefront of _my mind as I developed

these paintings. As I worked, I

loosely

referenced _{the walls, ceiling, and corners of} my

studioforthebackgroundsoftheself-portraits.

arranging my spacefrom_paintingto_paintingforfreshinspiration.

One particular issue of_necessity was honed as I worked through these paintings,

and due to _it, I developed askill that_eventuallyproved tobe crucialto _my chosentopic.

Prior to

developing

_{my thesis, my} work had always been dependent upon an actual

representation of_my subject _matter, whetherit was _{painting from life} or _{working from} a

photo reference. _{The only}elements in mypaintingsthat were not

directly

observed were

thegeo-abstract elements thatI often includedto indicate space. Inorder to

fully

realize

my vision of

becoming

a different character, I had to be able to paint myselfin action,

and notas a static and stoic_figure, whichseems to bethe traditioncommonto _many

self-portraits. _{While working} on _Stat, it is evident that I am _very conscious of this new _way

ofworking. I was

developing

formyself a_wayto observe more _efficiently, committhat

observation to _my short-term _memory, and then create from that impression. I would

assume aparticular_{pose, quickly} scan the area of observation and make mental notes of

the shape, light, and colorinthat area. Then Iwould breakfrom mypose inorder to mix

mycolor and paintbasedonthe _{fresh memory}of whatI hadjustobserved. Ifirst became

aware ofthis while _attemptingto paint Crying. I urgently wantedto paint myselfwith a

convincing expression of _despair, without

having

to _{objectively study} a photograph. I

would make the expression and then _quickly scan _{my face,} neck and shoulders

(every

area affected

by

this intense expression). I now had a method in which to further reveal

the fundamental characteristics of whatever I was observing, and that _{is my} continual

what was _going on to the canvas was the direct and unmediated version of what I was

observing.

TheFuture ofthe Idea

Sincethe 70's, I've been usingself-portraits as a vehicleto _convey

different situations andconditions. Forme, using a self-portrait is

much like an actor who plays a role or character on stage -it enables me to empathize with the victim I

portray." -Luis Cruz

Azaceta₍ Maxwell ₁₆₎

My

thesis exhibit consisted ofthe paintings done under_my thesis topic, but also

of work created throughout the entire process. I feel as though I could have benefited

fromone more yearto complete this thesis work -inorderto then_tryto exhaustthis new

idea. Iconsider_onlytwoofthe finalthreepaintingstohave beenexecutedunder_mytitle

ofdisguisedself-portraits. Withthetime and _opportunityto create more work underthis

topic, I would push the ideaeven further _by, for _example,

deliberately

_staging scenes to

paint. Iwould move between very direct images and _extremelyambiguous images. One

ofthe next phases ofthis work would be

investigating

what_mypersonal symbol system

is

-and work at

incorporating

thatsymbol setintotheimages.

Working

in the genre of self-portraiture _is, to me, the visual equivalent of

maintaining a written journal or diary. I can't think of a more

interesting

_way to

document events throughout one's _life, while _utilizing the same vehicle to purge one's

subconscious mind. Were this work of disguised self-portraiture _{to continue,} it would

become more _deliberately autobiographical in every way (i.e. _environment,

supporting

props and objects) while _moving even farther _{away from} myself and _my likeness. I

represent _my race and gender. These steps would further challenge the notion of what

Beckman,William. American Modern. 1999

http://www.forumgallery.com/adetail.php?id=80&imagenum=ll

Calabrese, Omar. Artists'

Self-portraits. New York: Abbeville Press_Publishers, 2006.

Cruz, Amanda,Smith,Elizabethand_Jones, Amelia._"CindyShermanRetrospective." New York:

Thames andHudson _Inc, 1997. p. 1.

Housden,Roger. How Rembrandt Reveals Your Beautiful Imperfect Self. New York: _Harmony

Books,2005.

Jones,Caroline A. _BayArea Figurative Art: 1950-1965. Berkeley: _UniversityofCalifornia_Press,

1990

Landauer,Susan. Elmer Bischoff: The Ethics of Paint. Berkeley: UniversityofCalifornia_Press,

2001.

Maxwell,Douglas. Inside Out: PsychologicalSelf-Portraiture. Connecticut: Aldrich Museumof

ContemporaryArt, 1995.

Morris, Catherine. The Essential _CindySherman. New York: _HarryN. _{Abrams, Inc,} 1999.

Athesia Benjamin was born in _Albany, New York on March _28, 1979 to Velvia Rose

Benjamin and Kenneth Benjamin of_Jamaica, West Indies. She was raisedin _Rochester,

New _York, and as a _child, began _taking art classes at the Memorial Art Gallery. She

earned her high school diploma from the School of the Arts and attended the School of

Visual Arts in New York City, New Yorkfortwo years. After_transferring to Rochester

Institute of_Technology, she earned aBachelor in Fine Arts degree in 2000. Sheentered

theArt Education program at RIT and obtained New York State k-12 art certification in

May

of2001.

2007

AthesiaBenjamin