UnrestRainTed

Unrestrainted

Taeyeon and Tiffany are two people from very contrasting backgrounds. What happens when the cold heiress meets the working class girl that have unknowingly stolen her heart? How far would they both go for love? Does love truly lasts

forever? Or is love just a merry go round that goes round and round without an end?

Always remember this, "A pause is never an end, it is simply a means to something better ahead of us"

I still remember every single thing about her. It is the smallest things about her that sticks in my mind. The dimple that she has on the right side of her chin. The sound of her laugher, or rather, her chortle, rings in my head every night before I sleep. Heck it, even the colour yellow reminds me of her.

I smile to myself as I admired the silvery ring around my neck. She said rings should be worn around necks, not fingers. She always has her own views about things. It has been a long time since I have last saw her. I miss her. I really do.

Da Capo

“What? AGAIN? Come on Mr Park, I have been doing the midnight shifts for the past 2 weeks. When am I going to get to do the day shifts?”

“I know, I know. But we have a newbie joining us, we need you to show her the ropes around here. You are the only senior staff we have left.”

I said nothing and went back to wiping the tables. I knew there was no way for me to talk out of this.

It was close to dawn, which was nearly the time that I got to knock off from this miserable job. I was tired; overworked and underpaid. I rushed through my remaining chores, scanned my staff card and was about to leave.

“Hey Noona, good morning”

“Yeah, good morning to you, Minho, I have just put the dishes into the dishwasher. Be sure to take it out once it is done”, I mumbled, feeling the weight on my head. It was the end of another miserable day for me.

I ambled my way to the bus stop and waited for the public bus back to my dorm. I would usually walk home from work to save money, but I just did not have enough energy to walk home today. My head was killing me.

I alighted from the bus drowsily and proceeded to walk back to the dorm. I was so tired that I did not notice that luxurious jet black Mercedes that was parked right beside the entrance of the dorm.

“Hey, look who’s back. It is as if I have no roommates. School in the day, work in the night. When are you going to go back to working the humanly hours shift so that I can at least see you in the night?”, my roommate of a year, Yuri said.

“Morning Yuri, I am really not in the state to bicker with you because my head is really killing me. And I would have to do the night shifts for another 2 weeks. Not sure how am I going to survive this”

“You better go catch some sleep, lesson is starting in 3 hours’ time. I am going down to get breakfast, do you want me to bring some food back for you….Well, I guess not.” Yuri looked at her roommate who was already fast asleep in her smelly work uniform.

---“Here we are, Miss. This is the dorm that you would be staying in. It is a little shabby and run down, so please let us know if you don’t feel comfortable with staying here.”

“….”

“You can just go straight to your dorm apartment. It is Blk A Level 3. I will get someone to bring your luggage and bags up.” The driver said cautiously, while side eyeing the silent girl who was looking blankly out of the tinted windows of the jet black Mercedes, with a pair of Koss headphones over her ears. She had noticed a girl with similar hair colour walking lazily past the car and into the dorm. What a slob, she thought to herself.

“There isn’t a need to. I will get my stuff up myself. You can just stay in the car. I didn’t move all the way here to get special treatments or to be babysat.” The girl zipped up her hoodie in anticipation of the cold weather outside of the heated car.

She got to the back of the car, took down her luggage and slinged the gym bag across her shoulders. She carefully picked up a large leather boxcase which contained her lifeline. She quickly walked away from the car and inside the gates of the dorm, silently hoping that no one saw her come out of the Mercedes.

---“Morning sleepy head. It’s almost 11 am. Time for lessons” Yuri said as she tried to pull the blanket off her sleepy roommate.

“Arghhh”

“Come on, if you don’t wake up now, we are both going to be late. I am not leaving without you.”

Upon hearing this, I knew I had no choice but to wake up. I knew how firm Yuri was about keeping promises. No matter how tired I was, I did not want my friend to be late.

I pulled the blanket off, grabbed my toiletries and went to the communal bathroom of Blk A Level 3. I washed my face and brushed my teeth in record time. I was about to walk out of the bathroom when I……

“Watch where you are going!” The shorter blonde said as she rubbed her shoulders.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry I don’t mean to elbow you.” I said apologetically. I was rushing out of the bathroom and I did not notice a shorter girl walking into the bathroom.

“….”

The girl did not bother to reply to me or even have eye contact with me. She just walked into the bathroom. What a snob, I thought to myself.

And that was the first time I saw her. Cold. That was my first impression of her.

a/n: Da Capo means “from the beginning”

Prelude

“Oh god, that girl I met in the bathroom earlier was so rude. Who does she think she is anyway?” I ranted to Yuri who was already putting her shoes on.

“Stop ranting and start getting yourself ready for lessons. You have 5 more minutes.”

“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her around before. Do you know if we have a freshie coming in?” I mumbled, still bitter about the earlier encounter.

“I think we have someone new that came in this morning 2 doors away. I think I have heard from Sunny this morning. She is Sooyoung’s new roommate. Come on Tiffany, we are REALLY running late now.”

---We raced to the lecture theatre, not wanting to be late for the third time this week.

“Phew we made it.” I said breathlessly.

Yuri and I proceeded to sit at the back of the hall where we usually sit. I lifted up the small table at the side of the lecture seat.

“Today’s lesson would surely be a bore. Music theory? Who has time for that?” I thought silently to myself as I tapped my fingers on the side table out of sheer boredom.

This is my first year in the renowned Seoul Conservatory of Music where the fees are ridiculously expensive and this is also the place where my dreams are going to come true. I would make sure it comes true one way or another.

“What are time signatures? Time signatures define the amount and type of notes that each measures contains. The first measure is in 4/4 time and the second measure…” The teacher droned on and on. I was so tired from work earlier and soon find myself dozing off.

I feel asleep on the flimsy side table. The weight of my head caused the table to revert back to its original position. My stationaries and notebook came falling off the table, rolling down to the seat right in front of me. I jolted up in shock.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry. So sorry!” I said apologectially while bending down to retrieve my belongings.

The girl spun around in annoyance and stared at me momentarily before turning back. I swore I could see the instant distain in her eyes.

“Wait…Isn’t this that girl that I bumped into in the bathroom this morning…? Great, just great. She is probably going to beat me up or something after lessons.” I thought to myself as I went back to picking my stationaries up. I was trying to disregard the fact that the girl’s eyes were burning a hole at the back of my head.

Yuri nudged me back to reality.

“Alright class, that is all I have for today. By the way, the groupings for the Practical Music Test at the end of the year are out, do check the school site for your groupings. Good luck guys, you are going to need a lot of it.”

I accessed the site via my phone upon hearing the announcement. I was both

excited and worried for the groupings. I hope that Yuri would be in my group or at least Sunny or Sooyoung. People that I know.

I scanned the list for my name.

“Hwang Miyoung…Jung Sooyeon…Kim Taeyeon…”

Dolce

“So that Kim Taeyeon girl was the girl who was sitting in front of me during the lecture, the girl whom I bumped into outside the bathroom? Which means she is the girl that wanted to kill me with her death stare?” I asked Sooyoung in between bites.

It was lunchtime and we are in the cafeteria, discussing about our respective groupings for the practical test.

“Relax, Fany. She is nice, just a little too quiet. I think she is shy.” Sooyoung defended her roommate as she took a mouthful of her bacon sandwich.

“Have you seen the look that she gives me? Oh gosh, just the thought of having to work with her and our Ice Princess scares me.” I shuddered at the thought of being ordered around by Jessica and having to endure that unfriendly Kim Taeyeon girl.

“Come on Fany, you know I love you.” Jessica said as she took hold of the right arm.

---“Taeyeon ah, why don’t you come sit with us? Make some new friends!”

Sooyoung put down her sandwich and ran over to her new roommate just as she spotted her walking past their table.

“Let me introduce you to your new group mates. This is Jessica Jung, we call her the Ice Princess and Sleeping Beauty. And this is our resident eye smile Queen, Hwang Miyoung.”

“…”

Taeyeon raised her eyebrows at the last part of the sentence, nodded her head in acknowledgement but said nothing more.

I decided to be my friendly self. I flashed the scary girl my brightest smile.

“Hi, I am Tiffany, please forget about the Miyoung part. And everything else that happened earlier. Okay?” I said, hoping that the girl would forget about the

bathroom and the lecture hall incidents.

“Hi…” Taeyeon replied awkwardly, in a small voice, still holding onto her lunch tray.

She looked so adorable, clutching onto her lunch tray. Her baby face makes her look so much younger than she is. I thought to myself as I examined the shorter girl from top to bottom.

“Come on, sit down and have your lunch with us! We don’t bite! We are all friendly people. Right?” Sooyoung took the initiative to ease her roommate into our group.

I watch Sooyoung as she pulls the tiny girl to the empty seat on my left. It was a funny sight, seeing the tall Shikshin drag the unwilling girl along. I suppressed a smile.

Things might not be that bad after all.

---“Yuri ah, I would be going for work later. Night shift again. Help me take my clothes to the laundry room. Pretty, pretty please?” I pleaded my roommate, using my eye smile ageyo.

“Alright, alright. You know I will help you no matter what. Just don’t use any ageyo on me again.”

I changed into my work uniform, grabbed my backpack and left my room for work.

It was the start of a vicious cycle again. School, work, sleep, repeat. This was a system that I badly wanted to break free of. This mundane life of mine.

It was nearly close to 10pm when I left the dorm. I was walking out of the gates when I saw a tiny figure sitting on the wooden swing. It caught my eye.

Curious, I walked over to take a closer look.

That tiny figure turned out to be Kim Taeyeon. She was on her headphones, listening to music and singing along. Her blonde hair was shimmering under the moonlight and the streetlights as she bobbed to the music.

“I’m not gonna write you a love song. ‘Cause you ask for it, ‘cause you need one, you see…” Taeyeon sang, without realizing that someone was right behind her.

She chose to come down here after dinner because it was serene, just how she liked it.

“Wow, her voice. It is so soothing and angelic.” I thought to myself as I settled down to listen to the girl’s singing. I leaned onto a temporary plastic barrier, not noticing how flimsy the thing was.

“Bam!” The plastic barrier eventually gave way to my weight. It fell onto the ground. I struggled to keep my balance.

“Damn it” I cursed myself silently.

Taeyeon heard the sudden crash and turned around instinctively. She saw the awkward sight, the girl struggling to keep her balance.

How much more clumsier can this girl get? She wanted to burst out in laughter, but she suppressed it in, not wanting the girl to realize that she was sitting there. She quickly turned back around, hoping that the darkness would cover her.

I picked the plastic barrier up, and looked at the girl. She was still sitting on the swing, unmoved.

”I don’t think she heard the sound, she is wearing her headphones after all.” I proceeded to walk away, not wanting to be spotted eavesdropping by the girl.

Her singing voice was replaying itself in my head when I went to work that day.

a/n: Dolce means "sweetly and softly" in musical term.

Misterioso

“How is it?”

“Sorry…”

“It has gotten worse right? Just tell me the truth, I need to know. She’s my daughter, my only daughter.”

“I am afraid it has gotten worse. We thought medications and the previous surgery would have kept the condition under control. She doesn’t have to be hospitalized for now. But she needs to report every single discomfort to us and come back for checkup every week.”

“Alright, I would let her know. Thanks for everything, Dr Park.”

---It was breakfast time. I had managed to get off from work early and to change my shifts to a more humanly evening-night shift on weekdays. It has been a long time since I had time to eat my breakfast at a leisurely pace.

I was sipping my coffee when I saw Sooyoung with her arms around Taeyeon, trying to drag her to our usual table. It has become somewhat of a routine. The sight of the taller girl dragging the short girl and the short girl being dragged over with a little pout makes me smile every single time.

I have soon discovered that Taeyeon is not as cold as she seems like. She is somewhat a contradiction. One moment, she would burst out in laughter, and the next, she would revert back to her guarded self.

---“Hmm…so what are we gonna do for our year end project? I was thinking that we can do some sort of an ensemble.” I said casually, trying to get the ball rolling.

“But an ensemble is really common, everyone would be doing something like that. We need to differentiate ourselves in order to get a good score.” Taeyeon replied with her furrowed eyebrows.

Jessica was lying lazily on the couch in the discussion room, busy texting on her phone.

“Sica ah, if you are going to continue being so distracted, I am going to kick your butt out of the group”

“So that you can have some alone time with Taeyeon? Sure, I would be glad to.” Jessica said to me in a serious tone, before flashing a wink to me.

Thankfully, her phone rang before I could push her off the couch and off the

building. I swore I saw Taeyeon’s face turning red momentarily before she brushed off the awkward atmosphere with an Ahjumma laughter.

“Oh yes, I almost forgot about it. I am coming now. Wait for me!” Jessica said to the life savior on the other end of the line.

I looked at her intently, waiting for the phone call to be over so that I can finish her off.

“Bye Fany, bye Taeyeon. Sorry gotta run, I have a manicure appointment. You know I am okay with anything you guys come up with.” She scooted off.

What? Since when did Jessica run? The next time I see that girl, she is finished. I thought to myself. But why am I taking this so seriously, it is just a joke. Right?

“…”

“…”

I looked awkwardly at the remaining girl for direction, unsure of what to do next.

“Sorry about just now, I would tell Sica to be careful with her words again.” I chose my words carefully, not wanting to offend Taeyeon in anyway.

“It is okay, let’s get back to business. I need to rush off soon. So actually I was thinking we should form a band instead of an ensemble.”

The idea excited me immediately. “To spice things up, we can even write our own songs instead of covering someone else’s song!”

“Yeah that works. We need to brainstorm the possible themes that we can have for our own songs.”

We proceeded to research on the different themes that we can do. There was a peaceful silent across the discussion room. It was not awkward, instead it was comfortable, just the way I like it.

I spied the girl adjacent of me. She was staring intently at the laptop screen in deep thoughts.

To me, Taeyeon is such a mystery. There was so much that I wanted to know about her. I had never felt this way with anyone else.

Before I realized what I was doing, the statement slipped out of my mouth.

“Taeyeon ah, I have known you for nearly a month. And I realized that I know nothing about you. We are group mates after all. Why did you suddenly transfer here in the middle of the school year? Where did you come from?”

Upon hearing my statement, she lifted her head up to look at me. I could see the vulnerability flickering in her eyes, before her stares turned stony again.

She suddenly leaned in close to me, so close that I could smell her fragrance. “Fany, do you like merry go rounds?”

Her sudden movement startled me. I could barely formulate a coherent sentence..

“Oh right, I need to go somewhere else now.” She moved back, packed up and left without even saying good bye.

What kind of question was that?

This question lingered with me for the rest of the day, along with the memory of her scent.

Crescendo

Why does she keeps popping up in my head? Her mesmerizing smile and the way she trips on her Korean enunciation.

“Fany, what do you want to eat for lunch?” Yuri asked her roommate.

“Hmm…can I have the jewel noodles?” She answered casually while twirling her fingers around her long brownish locks.

“What?!? You meant mushroom noodles right?”

“Yes, yes. I meant mushroom…” I watched her as her cheeks turn slightly pink.

We all had a very good laugh that day. With her around, I feel some sort of fluttery warmth that had been missing from my life.

---“Fany, do you like merry go rounds?” Her question went back and forth my head.

I have thought hard and long about the significance of the question. Taeyeon is not someone who would throw out thoughtless and random remarks.

Little did I know that this is just the beginning of the multiple roundabouts that we would soon find ourselves experiencing.

I decided that I would confront her the next time I see her. It was driving me crazy. The question, her scent when she leaned in close to me, her stony stares. They all lingered in my memory, refusing to fade away.

“Hey, do you have a moment? Can we…talk…?” I stammered, nervous at the fact that we were the only ones left in the room. Taeyeon had been making me feel very jittery lately.

The way she stares intently at me during discussions and casual interactions has not gone unnoticed by friends around us. “What is going on between the two of you? Did you guys fight when I was not around?” Jessica asked me, after an awkward discussion session.

“Yeah, sure.” Taeyeon put her backpack and her phone back down.

“What’s up with the merry go round question? I was the one who asked you a question first. Answer mine before asking another.” I said in a slightly agitated tone.

She suppressed a smile from the corner of her lips, with her single chin dimple. It was a smile that I have grown to be very fond of.

“Because my answers to your questions would only bring about another round of questions, why are you so curious about me anyway? You like me?” Her innocent smile turned into a thoughtful smirk.

You like me…? I could feel my cheeks and ears burning red at the question.

I burst out. “Stop asking me questions. Why are you always acting so mysterious and guarded? Who do you think you are anyway?” I could not take it anymore. I ran off in a huff, disregarding the girl who was chasing breathlessly behind me.

I heard a thud sound and turned back to see a tiny figure breathing heavily on the ground, struggling to stand up.

I instinctively ran towards her immediately, carefully putting my arms around her torso. I tried to help her sit up and gently patted her back. Guilt flooded me as I watched the girl struggle to catch her breath. Her lips were pale.

“Are you okay…?” I bit my lip.

“…ahh…ahh…yeah” She tried to reassure me by flashing a weak smile.

This was probably the first time that I ever saw her in such a vulnerable state. I wanted to hold her tight in my arms and never let go.

“Let me phone Sooyoung so that she can come bring you back to the dorm.”

“No, don’t. I am fine. Just let me sit for a whil—“

This is one stubborn kid, I thought to myself.

Not wanting to hurt her any further, I lightly put one arm around her back and the other arm under the knees. “Hold on tight to me.” I carried her back to my dorm room.

This was probably the closest that we have ever been. We were so close that I could feel her warm breath on my cheeks. I was almost afraid that she would feel my heart pounding furiously against my chest.

A Piacere

I slowly let her down onto my bed. I heaved a sigh of relief as I saw colour returning to her cheeks.

“Don’t worry about it, you can just use my bed for now. Here, have some warm water. If you’re still not feeling well, let’s go to the doctor’s. It is better for you to have a check.”

“No, it is okay, I am alright now. Sorry to trouble you. I better make a move.” She replied in a small voice and tried to get up.

“Ring, ring”

I grabbed my bag and took out my mobile phone. I held out my free hand towards Taeyeon, signaling her to stay put.

“Hello?”

“Fany ah, Sooyoung, Sunny and I are at the recording studio now. I don’t think I would be able to make it back in time. We plan to rush the recording for the practical exam. We are just going to sleepover at Sooyoung’s place tonight.”

“…”

“Fany…?”

“Yeah, yeah okay. See you. Bye.”

“Yuri and Sooyoung wouldn’t be coming back tonight. They are doing the recording for their exam. I don’t feel good about letting you sleep alone after everything. Just stay put.” I used my firmest tone, hoping that it would be convincing enough for the girl to stay.

I could see the girl hesitating for a moment, her eyes shifting back and forth.

“Don’t worry I wouldn’t bite. You look really tired, you should sleep for a while.” I quickly added on before she could say no. I carefully pulled my pink blanket over her and drew the curtains.

---When I ran after her, it was a moment of impulse. I wanted to tell her, give her the answers that she was looking for.

When she put her arms around me, warmth surged through me. It is the kind of warmth that I craved so much for. I did not even care if my heart was going to stop beating or not.

Everything just went by in a flash. The next moment I knew, I was on her arms. It took me a while to steady my heart beat. My heartbeats are getting irregular again. This stupid heart of mine, I cursed myself silently.

I watched her as she paced around the room, fussing over me. The combination of worry and guilt on her face was evident. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen.

I snapped myself back to reality. You’re a ticking time bomb, Kim Taeyeon. Don’t you dare to get any closer to her. This is more than enough.

I pulled myself off her bed and tried to reassure her that I was fine.

She took a phone call from her roommate and tried to convince me to stay so that she could take care of me for the night.

The next moment, she was already tucking me in bed. Fany ah…why do you keep trying to break down my walls.

I could not resist it anymore. I keep going round and round, back and forth when it comes to her.

Just for one night. I would be selfish and hold onto her, just for this one night. I shut my eyes and fell asleep.

---I watched her fall asleep peacefully on my bed. This girl has some really interesting sleeping habits. One moment she would sleep on her front, another moment she would be sleep talking. Though I could not make out the words that she was saying, I can feel that sadness and loneliness behind the murmurs.

I gently brushed aside her messy bangs, leaned in slowly towards her and gave her a light kiss on her forehead. “Rest well, Taeyeon ah.” I whispered as I broke the kiss, not wanting to freak her out or wake her up.

“Don’t leave me…“ She mumbled as I broke the kiss.

I almost choked on myself. Is she awake? I could feel my ears and cheeks burning. I was about to turn around and leave the room when I felt someone tugging at my shirt.

I turned back and saw the tiny girl rubbing her eyes, half awake. She rolled towards one side of the bed, and patted the empty space beside her.

I could not resist it anymore. The combination of vulnerability and guardedness drew me towards her.

I climbed onto my bed. Taeyeon pulled my pink blanket across me. I instinctively turned towards her. She expertly planted a kiss on my forehead. “I am returning you your kiss”, she whispered with a smirk.

“No keep it.” I leaned in close to her, giving her a kiss on her cheeks. There was no awkwardness between us, this was how comfortable Taeyeon made me feel.

The kisses went back and forth, round after round. Like a merry go round.

a/n: A Piacere means that the tempo may be decided by the performer, "at own's will or pleasure"

Sonata

I woke up the next morning, expecting to feel warmth beside me. I did not feel any so I stretched my arms outwards lazily, half expecting her to grab hold of it.

All that I saw was the empty space beside me. She left. It was as if last night did not happen.

I felt my heart sunk as I looked over at the empty space. Doubts filled my mind. Was she just playing around with me? I refused to consider that possibility.

She did not turn up for lessons that day. Sooyoung told me that she had went home that very same morning.

---"How are you today, Taengoo? Your vitals seems fine to me." The man in a white robe asked while fiddling with the stethoscope.

"Still the same old me. Nothing new."

"Taengoo ah, you need to let me know every single discomfort you have. It is more important than you think."

"..."

"Taengoo...? Is there something troubling you? You know you can share things with me right? I wouldn't tell your dad."

"Uncle Park, how much more time do you think I have left?" The girl asked in a defeated tone.

The doctor put down his stethoscope and looked at the tiny girl lying on examination bed.

"You need to get these thoughts out of your head and focus on the present. Everyone is doing their best for you."

"It is my own body, I know it better than anyone else. Any help would be futile."

"I want to be honest with you, Taeyeon. I have known you for over 10 years and I have always known you to be a very strong and thoughful girl. If there is one thing that you need to learn, it would be to live in the moment. Be a little more selfish when it comes to your own happiness. You deserve a lot more than you think."

There was a silence across the room as the girl digested the doctor’s words.

The girl got off the examination table. "I think I like someone, Uncle Park. Would I be able to bring her happiness?"

---I could hardly concentrate during lessons. One moment ---I would be fuming over her absence, and the next, my mind would wander back to her gentle touches. The kisses, the way her touches send shivers down my spine and set my heart

fluttering. I have never felt like that with anyone else before. This girl is driving me crazy.

I was about to walk about to my dorm when I saw a familiar figure leaning against my door. Why should I do? Should I be confrontational?

Before I could go any further, I saw the girl walking towards me. Her dorky smile instantly melted my heart. What is anger?

“Where did you go? I woke up and you were---”

“Why you miss me?” Taeyeon replied with a smirk.

“I don’t.” My heart was pounding and I had to work hard to steady myself.

“But I do.”

“I never knew you to be the corny sort.”

Taeyeon leaned in close to my right ear and whispered, “There is so much more that you don’t know about me.”

Before I could react and give her a piece of my mind, she sneaked a kiss on my right cheek, making me blush furiously.

“Yah…what if the others see us…? We are…in the middle of the corridor.” I stammered, still recovering from the sudden kiss.

“Come on, let’s go.”

She held me by my hand and pulled me out.

---The next thing I knew, I found myself sitting at the back of a luxurious Mercedes with a driver. “Are you kidnapping me? Is this your car?”

If this is your car, then who are you? Who are you, Kim Taeyeon? More questions.

“Yes, I am kidnapping your heart.”

She sneaked another kiss, this time, on my left cheek.

“Just in case your left cheek feels lonely.” Another smirk.

Sonata 2

The car stopped right in front of a desolated gated residence.

"This place is...?" I looked out of the tinted window to examine the building. The building had seen better days.

Taeyeon simply got off the car and signalled for me to do the same. I followed meekly behind her, not knowing what to expect.

She took out a rusted copper key from her pocket to unlock the gates. The gates creaked open.

We walked past the unkempt garden and fish pond that had neither fish nor water. Taeyeon keyed in the pin number for the security lock at the main door and pushed it open.

"Wow." I marvelled at the interior of the building. It is huge. A grand white spiral stairs connected the ground floor to the upper levels. Unlike the outside, the inside of the building was well kept. Aged but clean.

"I have thought long and hard about where to bring my new girlfriend out for our first date. This is the only place I can think of." Taeyeon grinned widely while settling herself down on the leather couch.

"Who says I am your girlfriend? Bleh. I don't go for shorties." I stuck out my tongue teasingly.

"So you mean you would spend the night with anyone or hop onto a car with anyone or let anyone kiss you? I am not allowing my girlfriend to do such things. Fany, please take note of this." She retorted possessively.

This girl really has a way with her words. I am loving this newly discovered possessive and assertive side of her.

---We soon found ourselves cuddling up on the couch. The movie that we were supposed to be watching was long forgotten.

I rested my head onto her left shoulder, my right arm across her waist. Being able to hold her like this was the best thing that I could ever ask for.

Without any warning, Taeyeon pushed aside my arm, got up from the couch and rolled over me. She was hovering dangerously over me, her arms propping up her upper body.

“Tae---“

Before I could say another word, she dipped downwards towards my face and kissed me on my lips. Not wanting to break the contact, I put my hands on her back, pulling Taeyeon closer to me. Her hands grabbed the side of my head. The kisses grew in intensity as her lips travelled down to my collarbone, leaving marks all over my neck. I eventually let out a low moan when she released the bit of my neck that she was nibbling on.

She then stopped to catch a breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah…yeah…” She replied breathlessly as she turned and laid next to me.

“Are you really alright?”

“You never fail to take my breath away.”

“Maybe I should call you Taecheesy from now.”

“If I am Taecheesy, then you must be Fanypasta.”

“Ewww!!! No way!!!” I was squirming at the cheesiness of the nickname when I felt a familiar pair of lips on my cheek.

“Taecheesy, must you always kiss me when I am unaware?”

“Alright, alright. I will kiss you now that you are aware.” She went in for a second kiss, this time on my forehead.

“Yes, of course. You’re my first date by the way and probably the last.” The hint of sadness in her voice had not gone unnoticed by me.

What? I am this amazing girl’s first love?

“I bet you’re lying. The way you kiss…” I immediately blushed.

“I am just a natural, it can’t be helped. I learn stuff quickly, especially by watching movies.” She replied with a smirk and a wink.

“Where are we by the way? This place is so grand. Did you trespass someone’s estate?” I asked, trying to change the topic before my ears and cheeks burn up.

“This is my childhood house. I used to live here until my grandparents passed away. Those were the happy days.” The familiar vulnerability flickered in her eyes again.

Did we just make out in her grandparents’ house? Oh gosh. I gulped.

---“Fany, have you heard the latest gossip? Rumour has it that Taeyeon is the only daughter of the CEO of Seoul Food Corporation. Man, this girl is loaded.” Yuri said excitedly to me after I came back from work.

“Wha…t…? Kim Taeyeon?”

“Yeah, the girl that you are going out with.”

It has been nearly a week since our first date. We were both busy with our lives. I had to juggle work and lessons. Taeyeon has been disappearing from school and

going home very often. I could go an entire day without seeing her. I missed her, but my stupid pride prevented me from taking the initiative to find her or text her.

“Did she purposely hide her identity from me because she thinks that I would be after her money?” I thought angrily to myself.

---I was walking out of the school gate to go to work when ---I saw her leaning against the gates. I remembered that I was still angry at her so I immediately turned the other way around and walked off.

“Fany! Taecheesy’s Fanypasta! Wait for me!” She shouted.

What if someone hears this cheesiness? Where am I supposed to hide? I stopped walking.

She made her way to me. “Fany, did you missed---“

I did not give her a chance to complete her sentence. “Why did you hide who you are from me? Did you really think that I am after your money? I may be poor, but I am definitely not the sort of person that you think I am.” I said in the heat of the moment.

My sudden outburst startled the girl who was speechless for a moment. She took a deep breathe to calm herself down.

“Fany…I have never thought of you as such a person. Give me a chance to explain myself. Please?” Guilt was written all over her face.

“The reason why I never told you about it was because I knew you wouldn’t care about such things. There was just no need for you to know. I was afraid that it might alienate you from me if you knew that we were from such contrasting family background. I didn’t want it to be a stumbling block in our relationship.” She

explained calmly, ending her sentence with a pat on my shoulder.

Upon hearing her explanation, tears welled up in my eyes. I felt so bad for doubting her.

She saw my tears and said nothing more. Her thumbs went across my face to dry my eyes and she gently pulled me in for a hug. No more words were needed because we knew we felt about each other at that moment.

Sonata 3

She is really the best girl in the world. I cannot stop smiling to myself whenever my thoughts drift to her. I can’t believe my luck. What did I do to deserve her? When I am around her, it is almost as if time has stopped. I was no longer fighting against time. When she holds onto me, I feel so safe and secure. She makes my heart flutter and beat. She makes me feel alive.

I have decided to be selfish for once. To hold onto her and to protect her for as long as I possibly can.

---“Hmm…I like the band concept. It sounds really interesting. I can play the

keyboards. I have always wanted to be a rocker.” Jessica said after she had heard of Taeyeon’s idea for the practical exam.

“We were also thinking of writing our own song to stand out. Taeyeon can do the composition.” I quickly added on.

I have soon discovered how talented this dorky girl is. She was enrolled in both the composing and performance faculties. Her passion for music is infectious. The way her eyes closes when she sings. The raw emotions that she puts in her singing.

We discussed the overall direction of the song and a few other details before ending the meeting.

“Bye lovebirds, I will now leave you two to have some alone time together. Got to go.” Jessica gave a sly smile and scooted off before I could hit her on her head.

“Thanks Sica!” Taeyeon shouted after the girl that was running off.

I gave her an exasperated look.

“By the way, I have gotten something for you.”

I looked up at Taeyeon who took out a white box from her backpack. She carefully opened the box, revealing a slivery necklace with an elegant shimmering platinum ring on it.

She grinned widely and simply said, “For you.”

It looked really expensive. There was no way I could accept such an expensive gift from her. The last thing I want is to hear rumors about me dating Taeyeon for money.

“...”

“Fany…I know what you’re thinking of. Our relationship is between the two of us. Come on, let me put it on for you. I really want you to have it.” She said in her firmest tone.

Taeyeon picked up the necklace from the box and looped the glistening ring inside the necklace. She went behind me and gently placed the necklace around my neck. She fastened the clasp of the necklace, and the ring was left hanging around my neck.

She leaned in close and gave me a kiss on my nape, sending shivers down my spine. I turned around towards her, wanting to reciprocate the kiss. As I turned around, her lips refused to break contact, leaving a trail of short and soft kisses on me. She took her time, gently moving her lips along my jawline and finally to up my lips.

“Tae…yeon…” I mumbled in between kisses.

“...Hmm...?” She grabbed hold of my head, not wanting to break contact.

“…love..you” I mumbled breathlessly as I pulled her closer to me, my hands instinctively going under her t-shirt, feeling her smooth milky skin.

---“Why is the ring worn around my neck, and not on my finger?” I ask Taeyeon.

We went to the ice-cream shop near our school for our second official date. I cannot stop smiling to myself whenever I looked at the ring around my neck.

Taeyeon cutely wiped off the ice-cream that was left on my lips with her thumb.

“Simple. A ring represents a promise. I want us to keep this promise close to our hearts. The ring is right above where the heart is.” She replied, pulling out a similar necklace from the inside of her shirt. “Look, I have the same ring too.” She

grinned.

“Couple rings.”

I was happily digging into my strawberry flavored ice-cream when I felt her intense stares. I felt self-conscious immediately.

“Why? I have ice-cream on my face?” I said absentmindedly, wiping my lip area with the back of my hand.

“Nope. I just like to look at you being happy.”

I flashed her my brightest smile, my eyes forming two crescents.

“Fany ah…I need a promise from you.”

“Yeah?” At that time, I was so caught up with the ecstasy that I was feeling from everything that had just happened. I did not notice the subtle hint of regret that Taeyeon had in her voice.

“Be happy every day, regardless of what happens.”

“…” I was busy with spooning my ice-cream up from the cup.

“Fany, you hear me? Promise me.” She suddenly turned serious, moving closer to me. It was almost as if she was pleading me.

“Yes Taeyeon, of course. I am the happiest with you around.” I smiled, feeding her a spoonful of ice-cream.

She grabbed hold of my hand and held it tightly with both of her hands.

“Promise me. Promise me that you would continue to smile, regardless of anything.”

“Good. Love you.” She was obviously satisfied with the answer.

She pulled up her ring that was hanging over her chest and showed the inside of the ring to me. The ring had the word “Tiffany’s” engraved faintly onto it.

“See? My heart belongs to you, Tiffany. Thanks for filling up the hole in my heart.” She flashed a smirk.

“Somebody is being cheesy again.” I took a closer look at my ring. It had no engraving on it. “Why doesn’t my ring has any engraving?” I asked.

“It is a secret.” Another smirk.

“Yah! I thought we had decided not to be secretive about ourselves anymore?” I replied.

“…” She simply smiled thoughtfully at me and said nothing else.

---“When are you going to tell Taeyeon about it?”

“I don’t know…she seems to be so much happier these days. I can’t bear to tell her.”

“It’s her body. She has the rights to know. She might already be feeling it. The hole is getting bigger as we speak. ”

“You tell me, Doctor, how do you expect a father to tell his daughter that she is dying?”

Euphoria

If you really love something, you have to learn how to let it go

She clutched the lamp pole for support. Black spots were swimming around her field of vision. The fainting spells were back. Breathless, her body crouched

downwards, literally gasping for air. It was almost as if someone was trampling on her chest. She fought hard to remain conscious.

It took her a few minutes to steady herself.

---“Taecheesy!”

She forced herself to let go of the lamp pole the second she had heard the familiar voice from behind.

Taeyeon turned around and saw a familiar figure pacing towards her. She looks effortlessly gorgeous in her fitting red plaid shirt and dark blue skinny ripped jeans.

“Wow, somebody’s looking really pretty tonight.” Taeyeon said, putting her arms around Tiffany’s waist, pulling the girl close.

“You look amazing too.” Tiffany whispered into the kiss.

“Hmm…strawberry lip balm…” She continued as she took her time to taste Taeyeon’s lips and explore with the inside of Taeyeon’s mouth with her tongue. She tilted her head while holding onto Taeyeon’s head, not wanting to let go.

“Later, Fany. Come on, we don’t have all night, we need to go!’ Taeyeon willed herself to break the kiss but held onto the girl’s hand, not wanting to let go.

Tiffany looked over at Taeyeon with pouted lips and said. “I was just getting started.”

It was such an adorable sight. Taeyeon could not resist but plant another gentle kiss onto the girl’s cheek.

“Love you lots.” Taeyeon said, still holding onto the girl’s hand.

“Love you more.”

“Love you most.”

“You surely know how to make people happy.”

“Wrong, I only know how to make Tiffany Hwang Miyoung happy.”

Tiffany could only slap the girl’s butt for her cheesiness. Even though she had never said it out loud, she secretly loved Taeyeon’s cheesy but witty statements.

“Where are we going, Taeyeon? It is nearly 10pm.”

“You will know soon. Come on, we need to hurry.” Taeyeon pulled the girl by her hand to back to the carpark.

“Can you drive?”

“Of course I can, you mean you cannot drive?” Tiffany was clearly surprised at the sudden revelation.

“Erm…yeah…because I am not allowed to drive with my conditio….no, no I mean because I don’t have time to learn it.” She mumbled, her face turning red.

“Then how did your car and you get here?”

“My driver drove me here and I made him go home. Wanted some alone time with you, you know.”

“Sneaky Taeng. Come on, let’s get going!” Tiffany hopped into the driver seat of the Black Mercedes.

“Remember to put on your seatbelts.” Tiffany said while starting the car engine and adjusting the front mirror.

“Ooh, look who’s bossing me around now. We are heading to the Seoul Tower tonight. I had set the GPS in advance.”

---I watched her fell asleep on the front passenger seat. The sound of her soft

breathing filled the car. She must be tired. Due to the traffic jam, we had been on the road for nearly an hour now.

I stopped the car at the red light. I leaned in closer to the girl’s face, brushing aside her messy bangs before giving her a gentle kiss on her smooth forehead. It

instantly reminded me of the first night that we had spent together. But unlike the previous time, she seems to be sleeping peacefully this time around. I quickly took out my smartphone to snap a photo of the sleeping girl, preserving this precious moment forever.

Not wanting to wake her up from her slumber, I continued to drive in silence, happy and contented. Knowing Taeyeon was right beside me was more than enough.

“Wakey, wakey, lazy head.” I patted Taeyeon’s cheeks lightly to wake her up.

I watched the girl stirred in her sleep for a while before rubbing her half opened eyes.

“Sorry for falling asleep, a bit tired.” She said as she stretched herself.

“Lazy pig. Where are we supposed to go now? We can’t drive directly to the tower.”

She simply gave a mysterious smile and said, “I know, follow me, we are taking the cable car up.”

Taeyeon held me by my hand and led the way. I followed her closely, right behind her.

---“What…? The whole cable car to ourselves?” I asked, shocked.

“Yeah, didn’t I tell you that I wanted some alone time with you today?”

“Wait. Taeyeon ah, doesn’t the Seoul Tower closes at 12am?” I saw the information board at the entrance.

“It closes at 12am, and opens after 12am for us.”

“Nothing but the best for you, Fany. Come on, let’s get on.”

“Wow, the view looks great from here!!” I said excitedly as I looked out of the cable car window.

“…”

I looked over at Taeyeon who was staring thoughtfully at me.

“What’s on your mind, Taeyeon? You have been so quiet throughout the ride.”

“I just really, really like to see you being so happy, you know?”

“I know…Thanks for everything that you have done. I also know that there is no way I can ever outdo you, but I just want you to know that I love you just as much, if not more. Let’s go on forever, alright?”

Taeyeon felt a lump in a throat upon hearing the girl’s sincere confession and worked hard to hold back her tears. You make it so hard for me to walk away from you.

She opened her mouth wanting to say something, but closed it before she could say a word. She decided to save it for later.

---The view of the skyline from the Seoul Tower was amazing. ---The buildings were all lit up prettily. I took the opportunity to force Taeyeon into taking pictures with me. This girl was always reluctant to take pictures.

“Come on, Taeyeon. Let’s take one more photo!” I pulled the unwilling girl towards me, my left arm going around her shoulders while my right arm was holding onto my smartphone.

“Taeyeon ah, I am planning to make a photo album of us so you better smile prettily.” I ordered the reluctant girl who was busy flashing all her derpy expressions into the camera, making all sorts of dorky hand gestures.

“Pretty photos are very forgettable, we need something more memorable in our photos!” Taeyeon replied before going back to her dorky antics.

We spent another hour cuddling at the top of the Seoul Tower before deciding to go to Taeyeon’s apartment to spend the night because it was too late to return to the dorm.

---“What a nice place you have got” I exclaimed, looking around the place.

“I live alone, so feel free to make yourself comfortable.” She said with a mischievous wink.

I pretended to not notice the suggestive tone and said, “Bye, I am going to get water.”

I was drinking water at the pantry and busy scrolling through the photos we took on my phone when I suddenly felt a pair of arms encircling around my waist.

Before I could react, the pair of arms forcefully spun me around. Her lips made contact with my lips, kissing me furiously. It was not the gentle pair of lips that I

was accustomed to. Her hands forcefully pushed my head towards hers. Our noses were pressing against each other, but she did not care.

“Thump” My phone dropped onto the ground. I tried to break the kiss, to bend down to retrieve my phone, but her unyielding lips refused to let loose. Her grip on my head tightened.

“Ta...e…—“I tried to speak between breaths.

“Plea...se…let me…ju..st..once…” She mumbled breathlessly against my lips, not willing to let go. Her hands were already going up my shirt, her nails scarping hard against the back of my skin.

I understood what she wanted. I relaxed under her hold, putting my arms around the girl’s waist.

She started pushing me backwards. I slowly inched backwards, willing to let her take the lead.

I felt my legs hitting onto something hard and felt a push from Taeyeon. I landed on the bed. It was unlike anything that Taeyeon had done before. She had always being gentle and yielding. This was the first time Taeyeon had been so aggressive with me. I saw the intense fire in her eyes.

But strangely enough, my heart was beating with anticipation.

She climbed onto the bed and straddled me. With a smirk on her face, she took her time with the buttons on my shirt, releasing them one by one. She leaned down towards me, resting her body on my chest. Her hands held onto the sides of my

head. Her head dipped towards my face, her lips once again making contact with my lips. I parted my lips to welcome her tongue.

I pulled Taeyeon closer to me. I could feel her heart pounding furiously against mine; her ring on her chest pressing against my ring.

Her tongue explored the insides of my mouth before making her lips made its way down to my neck. Taeyeon took her time, nibbling the sides of my neck. Her hands were also busy. They made their way down to my waist. Not wasting anytime, her fingers nimbly unbuttoned my jeans and pulled it off. I tilted my head backwards and let out a low moan when I felt a hand moving up my inner thigh, tugging at my panties.

Let me hold onto you for one last time before I let you go

a/n: The quote at the beginning was actually a translation of an Instagram comment that Taeyeon made a long time ago. I just thought it would be nice to add that into the story.

Fortissimo

Now Playing: Huk Gak – The Person who once loved me

Her chest moved up and down with every breath. Light snores filled the room, as sunlight seeped through the opening of the curtain.

I slowly traced my fingers along the long red scratch marks that I had made on her exposed milky white back. It instantly reminded me of last night. I didn’t mean to hurt her in any way. But just the thought of having to lose her made something in my mind snap. I lost my rationalization and control. The desire for her were made immerse by my fear of losing her. I wanted hold her tight for one last night.

“Rest well, Fany ah” I whispered as I gently put my arm around her, pulling her close to me for one last time. My movements did not cause her to stir, she must be really tired.

I sniffed her hair, taking in the scent of her shampoo.

I could not stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. I love her more than

anything else in this world. When you love something so much, how do you let it go?

I fought to pull myself away from her. I cannot hurt her anymore. Silent tears were streaming down my face as I got up from the bed, putting my clothes on.

Please forgive me for what I am about to do, Fany. Why did you fall in love with me? I am nothing but trouble. A ticking time bomb from the very beginning. It would be better if you had stayed away from me in the beginning.

I left a letter for her on the dresser before leaving the apartment with my luggage. My last day with her was also my last day in Korea.

---“ You’re leaving?!? What about our exam?” Jessica exclaimed.

“I have got it sorted out already. I have already written the song for our exams.” I passed her the disk with the audio recording. The music score and the lyrics are all inside.

“Does Tiffany know about this?”

“She will know.”

“Why are you doing this, Taeyeon? You know you would hurt her.”

“If I were to stay on, I would end up hurting her even more. Do well for the exam, make sure Fany does well. It has always been her dream to do music

professionally.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“…” I shook my head and turned around.

A lump was forming in my throat. I had to leave before I burst out in tears.

---I woke up with the sunlight shinning on my face. ---I rubbed my half opened eyes lazily, half expecting someone to grab me close with her arms.

I did not feel any. She must be still asleep. Of course, she did all the work last night. I grinned widely to myself, thinking about last night.

I turned around, wanting to give her a morning kiss. But the other side of the bed was empty.

She must be in the toilet, I thought to myself. I wrapped myself with the blanket and ambled lazily to the toilet in search of my lover.

“TAE—“ I shouted while opening the door. The bathroom was empty. To my horror, the whole apartment was empty. I went to the kitchen to retrieve my phone that I had dropped last night.

“The number you have called is currently unavailable.”

Her phone line was cut off.

I went back to the room to get dressed. I saw a pink envelope on the dresser. Nothing else was written on the envelope but I knew it was for me the moment I saw it. I was shaking with fear and dread.

My fingers were trembling as I picked up the envelope. I read the letter with shaking fingers and trembling lips.

---Hi Fanypasta,

This must be the first time that I am writing a letter to you. I had specially chosen a pink envelope and a pink paper to write the letter. Are you proud of me? Keke.

I still remember the first time I saw you. You may not know it but I first met you while you were walking back to the dorm after work. It was my first day in the school and you were the first person that I saw. And I still remember you trying to eavesdrop on my singing at the garden one night. Your initial clumsiness made me curious about you. This strange curiosity soon turned into something special.

I know you didn't believe me when I said this to you. But you were really my first love. And you would be my last love.

Hah, I still remember the first time you held me. You carried me all the way to your dorm. I swore my heart was beating so furiously that I could have died of happiness on the spot.

All these months that I have spent with you were the best times of my entire life. Thank you for filling up the hole in my heart. I can live a thousand lives and still not deserve you. That is how great you are. You made this useless heart of mine beating with purpose again.

I was never deserving of your love. It is about time I got off the merry go round. I got greedy for a moment and tried to hold onto you. But I would have to let go now. I am going somewhere really far away. Don’t wait for me.

I am never taking off the ring from my neck. You know, my heart would always belong to you no matter how far away I am.

Remember what you have promised me? Be happy and smile regardless of

anything. I love you, I really really do. Don’t forgive me for lying to you time after time; don’t forgive me for walking away. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Don’t miss me, don't wait for me. Find someone who is more deserving of your love.

Go on and chase your dreams, I know you can do it.

I wish I could write on forever, but I think I should stop here now.

Loving you forever,

Taecheesy

P.S: Call XXXXXXXX, he would be able give you the answers that you have always wanted.

---It was as if someone took out my heart and ripped it into pieces. My legs went weak and I stumbled back onto the bed. My mind could not process the sudden turn of events. What is going on? I was choking back on my tears, I felt

lightheaded from all the crying that I was doing.

I would find her, I would. I tried to convince myself hoping that it would stop my tears.

I have to stay clearheaded. I steadied myself and dialed the phone number written at the end of the letter.

“Ring, ring”

“Hello?”

“Hi. I am Tiffany, Taeyeon’s…Taeyeon’s girlfriend. I was told to call this number.”

“Right now.”

“Alright. Come to Seoul Hospital. I will be waiting for you.”

Seoul Hospital…?

I did not waste a moment. I immediately took a cab to Seoul Hospital.

---"Yes, Miss Tiffany. Dr Park is expecting you. Come in." The receptionist at the desk said.

"Where is Taeyeon? Please tell me where she is right now! Please, I am begging you. I cannot live without her." I pleaded the man in the white robe vigouriously. The moment I stepped into the room, I had lost control of the emotions that I was desperately trying to hold in earlier.

He remained calm and simply said, "Take a seat Tiffany. I will tell you what I need to."

I took a deep breath, reminding myself to keep my cool. I was in a hospital after all. The last thing I want is to anger the doctor and get chased away. I took a seat, steadying myself.

"I have known Taengoo for a long time."

"Taeng...oo...?"

"Ah, she didn't tell you? Her childhood nickname was Taengoo. I practically

"She didn't have a normal childhood like many of us. Her health was poor and she had to be hospitalized numerous of times. But she was a really good natured kid, always looking out for the people around her."

"What's wrong with Taeyeon? Is she…sick?" I asked, clearly surprised at the revelation. She had never told me this.

"She was born with cogenital heart disease. We found a tiny hole on her heart when she was just a baby. We tried to control it with medication but it eventually got bigger when she got older. Because of her condition, she felt inferior to the other kids in school."

It finally dawned upon me. The time that she had fainted after running after me, all the times she got breathless out of the blue.

He continued, "She became closed up, putting all her time on music. Until she met you. She became a different person. Much happier and more cheerful. Whenever she came for checkups, she couldn't stop talking about you. She told me she cannot believe her luck. That she would get to meet someone like you, Tiffany. She really loves you."

I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. I bawled and bawled. Hoping my tears would wash away my guilt. How could I have not noticed your condition?

"Where can I find her? Please... tell...me!" I begged him endlessly.

"She knew time is running out for her. Medications were no longer working for her. She relies too much on painkillers. She has left Korea to receive palliative care. I had promised her that I wouldn't tell you where she went."

My heart ached even more after hearing the doctor's words. It was as though someone has taken a knife and stabbed into my heart repeatedly. Taeyeon ah, why didn't you share your pains with me? All the times you sat quietly beside me, listening thoughtfully to my woes, listening to my rants. It was almost as if you did not have any.

"...Taey....where.... she?" I was unable to form a coherent sentence. I have never cried so much in my entire life before.

"It's for your own good. She doesn't want you to go through the same thing as she did. She watched her grandparents succumbed to their illness and it affected her a lot. She was never quite the same again."

"I want to be there for her. Please. I'm begging you."

"UK. She went to the UK. That is all that I can tell you. Taeyeon had made me promise to take care of you. So don't do anything stupid. Taeyeon would kill me."

I didn't answer. I dried my tears with the sleeves of my shirt.. My mind was already trying to formulate a plan. A plan to find Taengoo.

Taeyeon ah, wait for me. I am coming to find you.

Tears

The love that moved me

Like the rain, the love engulfed my heart

My heart, my heart is already in love

As much as I'm longing for you

This must be love

"Fany, are you really serious about this?" Yuri said while watching me pack my luggage.

"Yes. I am."

"You're insane. What about the exams? What about your job? What about your dreams? You are throwing it all away from just one person?"

"Yuri, she is not just one person. She's my everything." Once I have made up my mind, I wouldn't change it easily." I firmly stood my ground, refusing to be convinced otherwise.

"Sigh...Fany, why are you making yourself so miserable? So what if you find her? Is she going to see you?"

---"Fany! I have been looking everywhere for you. I was so afraid that you have already left for UK. I have something for you. From Taeyeon." Jessica said carefully, afraid that the mention of her name would trigger my emotions.

"For me...?"

"Yeah. Before Taeyeon left, she came to look for me that very morning. She---"

"WHAT?!? She came to look for you? Why didn’t you stop her? Or tell me that she was leaving?" I shouted at Jessica. The poor girl was left flustered by my sudden outburst.

"Fany ah...I am really sorry... I didn't know what was going on at that time. She said she was going to hurt you if she stayed."

"SO I AM NOT HURT NOW? Every night I cry myself to sleep at the thought of losing her…--" I was choking with tears, unable to continue my words.

Jessica was at a loss of what to say. She quietly took a CD case out from her bag.

“She left this for us, no, for you. It is the song that she had written for our exam. She wanted you to do well for the exams. She would be happy to know that you have sung her song.”

Go on and chase your dreams, I know you can do it. I was instantly reminded of her letter.

---“What’s your dream?” Taeyeon asked me suddenly. We were spending a lazy weekend at her grandparents’ house. Taeyeon was more of a homebody, she preferred to spend time at home rather than go out. We found ourselves spending most of our dates indoors, at her grandparents’ place.

“Do music professionally. Maybe join a choir and go on tour, playing in the

concert halls all over the world.” Ever since I was young, I always had a clear idea of what I was going to do in the future. I worked hard for it.

“Hmm…” Taeyeon said nothing and simply nodded her head.

“What about yours?”

“Me? It used to be to have my own band. But now that I have found you, my new dream is to make you happier than anyone out there.” She pulled me closer to her, sniffing my hair.

“Such a sweet talker.” I gave her a peck on her cheek.

---“Fany? You there?” I snapped back to reality. I turned back to see Sooyoung standing at the door.

“Yeah…yeah…Kinda zoned out for a while.”

“Can I come in?”

“How are you coping with everything? I am guessing not very well, judging from the swollen eyes.”

“…”

“We are all very worried about you. Jessica, Sunny, Yuri and I. We know how much Taeyeon means to you. But…” The tall girl’s eyes shifted from side to side. She was hesitant to continue speaking.

“Feel free to speak your mind, Sooyoung.” I replied.

“But we all feel that you shouldn’t be ditching everything. I am sure Taeyeon wouldn’t want you to be like that. She would have wanted you to move on, which was why she took great pains to leave Korea for good.”

She continued. “I think I should let you know. Before Taeyeon left, she dropped by the school. She personally went to each of us to bid goodbye. Most importantly, she made us promise to take care of you in her stead. She knew you were going to break down. She was very worried.”

“And I plan to keep my promise, Tiffany.”

“It hurts, Sooyoung. My heart pains whenever I think about her, fighting all alone by herself. I need to be there for her. But it seems like no one understands.”

“We all know how stubborn that kid can be. There is no way you would be able to find her. Do you really think she can be at ease if she knows that you are going all around UK alone, looking for her? Let’s be honest, we all know that Taeyeon is not going to be with us for long. The best that you can do for her is to show her that you can live well on your own, without her.”

“NO TAEYEON IS NOT GOING TO DIE...” I sobbed.

“Fany…” She patted my shoulders, trying to comfort me.

I sobbed into her shoulders, unable to stop the tears.

---It was nearly 3 am. I was lying on my bed, unable to fall asleep. Her smiles, her dorky antics, her cheesy sentences replayed endlessly in my head.

Go on and chase your dreams, I know you can do it.

I remembered the CD that Jessica passed me today. I inserted it into my disk player.

Lyrics:http://shrib.com/0l0S01xL

The lyrics that she wrote struck me deep in my heart. I could hear the raw emotions from her angelic voice. She really loved me more than anything else in the world.

---The trip to UK was replaced by endless rehearsals for the year end practical exams. I immersed myself into practicing for the song, numbing my thoughts. Keeping myself busy was the only way to stop my mind from drifting to her. I had promised myself to go find her after the exam.

Taeyeon ah, I will sing this song for you. I will show you that I can live well with you inside my heart.

“Hi. Tiffany? Is there anything I can help you with?” The doctor was clearly surprised at the sudden call from the girl.

“I need a favor from you. I would be performing the song that Taeyeon wrote for my year end exams tomorrow. Can you please come down on that day to video conference the performance to Taeyeon? I know you are still in contact with her. Please?” I pleaded.

“I am sure she would want to hear you sing her song. I will come.” The doctor replied.

“Thanks.”

---“Sica ah, have you checked the background music playback?”

It was the day. I was really nervous, my palms were sweaty and my legs were trembling. I knew Taeyeon would surely be watching me from wherever she is. I was determined to do well this for her.

“Next up, Group number #39, Jessica and Tiffany.” The teacher announced.

This was the moment.

I walked up to the stage, with the spotlight shinning right at my face. I tried hard to look out for Dr Park, but the audience stand was too dark for me to see.

“This is a song written by someone whom I love more than anything in this world. I miss you Kim Taeyeon.”

I closed my eyes and sang my heart out, with Jessica playing the keyboards beside me. It felt as if I was singing only to Taeyeon.

[Plays Taeyeon and Sunny’s This Must Be Love Duet]

I ended the song with tears in my eyes. As I sang, memories of us being happy together were at the back of my mind. Her gentle touches, her soft kisses, her cheesiness. My heart ached at the thought of her. I miss her.

Taeyeon, I hope you were listening.

Distance

“Taengoo, can you hear me clearly? Can you see the video feed from your side?”

“Yes...I can. Is she...up yet?“

“Not yet, I think she is next.”

“Uncle Park, can you move your seat to a little more upfront…? I don’t…think I would be able to see her face…clearly from where you are sitting,” The girl said in a small voice.

She sounded so frail and breathless.

“Taengoo, you okay? If you’re not up to it, I can record it and you can watch it back later.”

“No, I am fine…just need to put my oxygen mask back on. Fany…never fails to make me…breathless.” Taeyeon replied jokingly.

“Ah, look that this girl. Such a sweet talker. This is how you made Tiffany fall in love with you?” The doctor shook his head and moved his seat to the front row.

Unknown to the doctor, Taeyeon had been excitedly waiting for today. It was 11am in Korea, which meant that it was nearly 3am where she was. She did not sleep a wink as she was too excited at the prospect of hearing Tiffany sing her song.

Everyone working at the nursing home knew who Tiffany was, all thanks to Taeyeon. She repeatedly boasted to her nurses that her girlfriend was performing today.

Once again, Taeyeon found her heart beating with purpose and anticipation again.

---“You did so well, Tiffany! I heard there were a few audiences that cried during the performance!” Yuri patted her roommate for a job well done.

“Yeah, good job!” “Well done, Tiffany and Jessica!” Words of encouragement and praises were showered on us by our friends as we walked off the stage.