FHM April 2016

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SEPTEMBER 2015 FHM 3 www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial

#fhmsamlikeithot AP R IL 2016 www .fhm.com.ph

B L O W T H AT

Y E E Z Y

H O W R E A L

S N E A K E R H E A D S

P L AY T H E

S H O E G A M E

T H E R I S E

[ A N D FA L L? ]

O F M A N N Y

PA C Q U I A O

E B E

D A N C E L’ S

S O N G F O R

T R O U B L E D

S O U L S

S U N

S A N D

&

SAM PINTO

P150

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32 HARI NG SABLAY Ebe Dancel tells us how he deals with life’s glitches 62 MANNY PACQUIAO’S LAST ROUND ... or is it? 70 THE SEARCH fOR THE ELUSIvE GODfATHER Of SNEAkERHEADS He lives among us 76 POOL PARTY PLANNING GUIDE Make it an epic summer 82 NINJA PARTY See what you're missing in an all-girl after-party

C O V E R S T O R Y

C lO U d 9

Sam Pinto at the

beach. Our summer

just got hotter. (And

we like it!)

P HO TO G RAP HY: D O C MAR LON P EC JO

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Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan Associate Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay Assistant Managing Editor Pong M. Castillo Editorial Assistant Chise A. Alcantara Contributing Editor Cecile Jusi-Baltasar Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . . Managing Editor BA Borleo

Associate Section Editor Gelo G. Gonzales Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas

Staff Writer Neps N. Firmalan, John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A. Hogaza

Video Production Specialist Engelheart V. Jarilla Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos

W I T H A L I T T L E H E L P F R O M . . .

Words Dinzo Tabamo, Chiara Cui, Anne Mari Ronquillo, Lio Mangubat, Brian Adrian Borleo, Roselle Miranda, John Paulo Aguilera, Khyne L. Palumar, Atty. Ed C, Tolentino, Omar Belo, Benjie Gana, Ron Jay Eduvas, Andrei Laurel Illustrations Gilbert Daroy, Melvin Calingo, Louis Arenas, Warren Espejo, Carlo Maala Pictures DPaul Mondok, Roy Macam, Ejay Leung, Dairy Darilag, Doc Marlon Pecjo, Kurt Alvarez, Andreo Esguerra, Jake Verzosa, Vincent Coscolluela Styling/Makeup/Hair Janina Dizon, Debra Bernales, Genie Ranada-Babista, Anne Castaño, Fidel Tango, Jake Galvez, Rey Santos, JA Feliciano

F H M I N T E R N A T I O N A L N E T W O R k

International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs, (Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway) Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu, (Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros Majcenovic, (South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan) Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar, (UK) Damien McSorely S U M M I T M E D I A

President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza

VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher

Aeus Kevin Reyes Digital Publisher Adel De Jesus Deputy Group Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production Director Elizabeth Rellis Assistant Production Manager Jane M. Puno Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production Graphic Artist Louis Arenas Administrative Services Manager Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel

A D V E R T I S I N G

Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-key Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco key Account Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar, Annie Santos, Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print) Ginger Taduran, Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager (Digital) Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda Kitane-San Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Mundo, Dianne Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant

Rita Barbacena key Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Chinggay M. Cabit Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe

E V E N T S D E P A R T M E N T Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano, Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili M E D I A R E L A T I O N S Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez Media Relations Associate Nicole David

T R A D E M A R k E T I N G Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Sr. Trade Marketing Associates Caz Marino Trade Marketing Associate Kamille Guirnalda Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator Patric Malicdem C R E A T I V E S O L U T I O N S Copywriter Miguel Escobar Digital Art Director Rey Etable Associate Art Director Jerome de Dios Carlo Maala Senior Web Designer Teddy Garcia Producer Tara Llavore

C I R C U L A T I O N

Circulation Manager Alma M. Madelo Deputy National Circulation Manager Glenda Gil Circulation Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada Provincial Sales Manager Alexis Martinez International Distribution Specialist Ulyssis Javier Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group

Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis, Noreen Sescon-Peligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino, Jenny Reparep, Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II Distributor Specialist-North Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor Specialist-Central Luzon Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-Central Visayas Robert Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western Visayas Ivan Dela Pena

Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao Eric Ferdinand Gasatan Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales Representative-GMA John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy Carino Subscription Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste Circulation Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant

Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias

ALLAN P. HERNANDEZ Acting Editor in Chief

What FHMers have

been up to this month

Khyne’s swan song interview with Pol Medina. See you around, Khyne!

Attempted to flaunt our (nonexistent) summer bods after wrapping up the cover shoot. Basked in the sun with covergirl Sam Pinto in Boracay and got us (T-shirt) tanlines. Worth it!

I may have been an OG

sneakerhead once, but I was

too dumb to figure it out.

In 1988, my mother bought me a pair of Nikes from a business trip abroad. The Air models had just become huge then, and the Air Max was king. I wanted it so bad. I had a schoolmate who had one and I was envious. I was 13.

The pair my mother brought home was a disappointment. It had no swoosh in it. It was supposed to be a basketball shoe—white with grey details like elephant skin, in midcut leather. It had a red flying guy stitched on its tongue. First time I wore it, everyone who saw me looked at my feet and asked where I got them. I thought I wasn’t wearing the right Air.

Turned out I had the first release of the Air Jordan III, what sneakerheads now generally agree as among the finest Jordans ever made, and a game changer in shoe design.

Now, 28 years later, we’re on The Hunt for the Man with the Most Lit Shoe Game This Side of Sneakertown (p.70) and I'm finally figuring out what the Game is about. It's a great inside story on our local urban sneaker culture filled with legit shop talk and even more legit characters. If you're not in on the scene, you'd say it's mental, but at the very least you'll know why those new adidas Yeezys you see on your feeds are damn expensive and almost impossible to buy.

While we're on the subject of buying things, Sam Pinto returns for her third shot at a cover and she tells us she just bought property in Baler so she can surf there all she wants. Congratulations! And we should say, Sam, you are still blazing hot.

We have more on things money can buy (Pacquiao’s assets, p.68) and some things it can’t (Ebe Dancel’s sanity, p.32 / Pacquiao’s legacy, p.68). It kind of puts in perspective what passion and obsession require of us.

My AJ III crumbled long ago, from daily abuse and pickup games on asphalt b-ball courts. I was dumb.

FROM THE EDITOR

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fhm@summitmedia .com.ph /fhm.ph @fhmphilofficial /fhmphil 6f & 7f Robinsons cybeRgate centeR toWeR 3 pioneeR complex, pioneeR st., mandaluyong city 1550

IS FHM STILL FHM?

If I wanted to read Esquire, I would buy Esquire. If I wanted to read UNO, I would buy UNO. If I wanted to read FHM, I sure as hell expect FHM to be FHM when I buy it. You have now officially lost your balls and turned your back on all your loyal readers–and I am a damn loyal one. I was there when Alicia Silverstone appeared as the cover for your first-ever issue and I have bought every issue since. I am just so fucking disappointed with you guys. I kept my faith in you during that stupid and pathetic “erased nipples” phase, hoping that it will pass, and it did pass. You gave us wonderful years of great content, both content-wise and visuals-wise after that. But now, you have turned pretentious and boring. Do not dare give us that “people change” bullshit. If you were not publishing Esquire, I would understand the shift in style and content, but you are under the same publication as Esquire. You have just turned FHM into Esquire and it reminds me of the time when UNO had that nerdy, geeky, boring phase. And we all know that UNO is freaking dead. I used to look forward to the start of each month so I could buy the latest issue of FHM. Now, you have lost the love of those who were with you from the start. Give us back the FHM we know and love.

Joey Ogatis, via Facebook Page

KEEPING UP WITH THE TIMES

I like the new format of the magazine. IMHO, FHM is just keeping up with the times. There is a need for the media to evolve. Case in point: daring actresses. How many sexy stars/bombshells are in the mainstream? The demand for that kind of sexy is going down. This FHM is more matured and classy. Keep it up, guys! Been a loyal reader since December 2001.

Arnel Mirondo, via Facebook Page

ALL ABOARD!

Our ship is currently here in Offshore A. I recently brought your January and February issues, as well as your book, Sexiest: 15 years of stunning FHM women: a visual celebration onboard our ship as pasalubong to my shipmates. We share the copies every break time and we just love them.

Robert Pablo, via email

HE READS THEM FOR

THE ARTICLES

I’ve been collecting your magazine since I was in college. I don’t really remember why I started collecting, but what I can say is, I really got hooked because of the well-written articles. FHM provides tons of information that I really appreciate. Until now, I still continue adding your latest releases to my collection. It has gotten to the point where I now have so many copies at home that I have to store them somewhere else, ha ha! I feel so proud na ganito na sila karami. Keep it up FHM! God bless, everyone! Lester Sanchez Baun, via email

REACTIONS

April 2016 PHO TO G R A PHY : P A O LO P IN E D A OF M ID N IG H T B ON K E R S

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V e r g e

V

G R E AT N E S S

AT E V E R Y T U R N

O F A PA G E

Edited by CHISE ALCANTARA [email protected]

How to fall

without

getting hurt

FOR THE TIMES WHEN THE

WHOLE WORLD WANTS TO

KEEP US DOWN, PARKOUR

EXPERTS SHOW US HOW TO

GET BACK UP ON OUR FEET

WORDS CHISE ALCANTARA PHOTOS PAUL MONDOK SPECIAL THANKS TO NINJA ACADEMY

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14 FHM APRIL 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

When flung into the air by some greater force like a rampaging rhino or a bouncer at a club that has had too much of your shit, humans, dumb as we are, tend to flail around in panic. To say the least, we feel uncomfortable whenever we can’t see the ground. After a few moments of pathetic helplessness in the air, we then proceed to land firmly—and painfully—on our back, possibly causing spinal injuries.

Raven, a parkour instructor and part-time ninja from Ninja Academy

advices we should copy cats–that’s right, cats. Let’s face it: these cute evil geniuses know how to deal. Have you ever seen a cat not land on its feet? “Whenever cats are falling they try to tense their bodies while in the air so they can easily maneuver their bodies into the right landing position,” says Raven. R av e n g i v e s ste p-by-ste p d i R e cti o n s o n h o w o u R f u R Ry c o m R a d e s ke e p th e i R p o i s e: 1. Stretch your arms

over your head and twist your body towards the preferred direction you want to spin in using the momentum of your upper body.

2. When landing, let your arms guide you to roll on your side instead of just doing a front roll. A tucked roll (with your head, shoulders, and legs tucked into your body) will lessen the force of the fall. This position spreads the impact through more parts of your body while avoiding hitting tender muscles and bones like those in the hips,

shoulders, and head. 3. Continue to roll even after your back has made contact to lessen the chance of injuring your legs. By doing this, you defuse the energy of the fall through the whole act.

This maneuver is called peeling-out. It isn’t exactly falling as you would if you did a wrong move. It’s more of a dismount or transition move that people who parkour do in order to smoothly get to one point to the other in the safest and most efficient way possible.

“Peeling-out is completely different from bailing out from a maneuver. Peeling-out means you actually complete a maneuver, while bailing means something went wrong and you failed executing the move,” says Raven. “Peeling-out is the art of falling and it came from the martial art Judo. And these rolling and landing maneuvers were incorporated by parkour.” Without this maneuver, people who engage in parkour would probably have numerous injuries from not being able to control their momentum.

FALLING LIKE A FELINE

To YOLO or not to

YOLO

Best

parkour

locations

V e r g e

INFOGRAPHICS “Suitable place to do parkour? Anywhere [legal], just use your imagination,” says Raven. Constantly practicing parkour trains your mind to see how you can possibly maneuver through the environment in unconventional ways. From vaulting off ledges and running on walls, the most surprising features of the terrain can be used to your advantage. “Though, we encourage respecting the authority. When they say stop, we stop,” says Raven. Private properties are usually off limits to parkour enthusiasts so better ask politely before attempting to ledge outside their daughter’s bedroom terrace. “A practitioner must be a hundred percent sure before he makes that jump because even a percent of hesitation can be disastrous,” says Raven. He advises to start by “[training at] low [heights] … before you try out bigger moves.” It’s important to first “learn the basics

and level up at your own pace.” Don’t be so eager to get better and be intimidated by your high-flying parkour buddies because that may cause you to literally die. Don’t worry about learning slowly; you’ll get there one day, young padawan.

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APRIL 2016 FHM 15 www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial

Most of us have fantasies of mowing down zombies with a chainsaw or machine gun. But when the zombie apocalypse does come (AND IT WILL), most of us would probably come to terms with who we truly are–runners. Yes, we are runners. We tend to run from people we owe money from, our responsibilities at work, our feelings, etcetera.

Going by our backward emotional track record, zombies aren’t really the first things we want to face head-on when we finally grow some balls. One notable thing about parkour when compared to the flashier free-running is that parkour is about safety and efficiency. Free-running incorporates a bit more “style” into its art. The cool videos you

decomposing arms. Take note, though, that the pros and cons of this maneuver are almost half-and-half. While the potential distance of the jump is great because of the very fast takeoff, the landing space needed for the jump will also be very large. You’ll need this space since the roll at the end might cause you to fall to your death because of the excess momentum you have left.

RuNNING AwAY

FROm zOmBIES

JumpING OuT

A wINdOw OF

AN ExpLOdING

BuILdING

see on YouTube with all the fancy flips and vaults through abandoned warehouses and city alleys are usually people doing free-running. But while the flashier stunts are more in the realm of free-running, this doesn’t mean that parkour doesn’t have its share of fancy moves, too. Parkour uses moves that are essential in avoiding the obstacle in front of you. These moves draw on your surroundings or make up different variations of certain moves.

When presented with

a high blockage in front of him, fellow ninja, Mark, tells us that the most effective way of getting past this obstacle would be to do a vaulting front flip. He starts by running towards the two blockages. Then he suddenly jumps and uses the smaller blockage to vault over the taller one. Not only does this maneuver provide you the distance to gain enough velocity needed to clear the jump. But it also protects your legs from getting caught by anything that could cause you to wipe out like a couple of

One of the most important things to consider when jumping out a window is where you’re going to land. But most of the time, at least in action movies, no one’s got time for that shit, so the most you can do is follow our advice.

Mark Julius Rodelas, the blank parkour instructor, tells us that to safely land on our feet, kicking towards the direction where you want to land helps with repositioning and directing your body. Some windows are also smaller than your body so bending your knees, like in most parkour moves, is necessary for added stability. One-handed vaults are typically used when you have limited space and are moving towards a lower platform. While it doesn’t provide the best stability, it is a quick and easy maneuver to do whenever you find yourself in sticky situations.

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V e r g e

INFOGRAPHICS

OUR FAVORITE FUNNY GUYS

EXPLAIN—IN GRAPHIC TERMS—

HOW THEY PULL OFF BEING

HILARIOUS

The

anatomy of

comedy

“When you mention stand-up, people usually think of the slapstick insult comedy you find at bars,” says Navarrete. “But we want to show that there are different kinds of stand-up comedy. We can be profound or controversial… but we [also] have the responsibility to make [our jokes] so funny that the audience has no choice but to laugh at [them]. Because if they don’t find your comedy funny then you’re just preaching, and that’s just tragic,” says Navarrete.

“Only the audience can judge your material; it's instant democracy."

says Labrador. “I remember Rex giving the new comedians advice before going on; it goes something

like: ‘Don’t suck!’’’

“Never show the

audience your fear even if your set bombs,”

says Navarrete.“Lead them to the next joke and just keep powering

through. [But] you might want to bring a new pair of underwear

for afterwards.”

Navarrete uses his Filipino accent to portray Filipinos living in America. One example: his punny set from SBC

Packers where he boasts about being the best packers in the world.

O R I G I N A L

S T A N D - U P

Veteran Fil-Am comedian, Rex Navarrete, and GB Labrador, co-founder of Comedy Geebus Labradoris Rexus Navarretus Words CHISE A. ALCANTARA Illustrations GILBERT DAROY

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Balancing the intellectual and comedic value of a piece can be very difficult for a Filipino writer writing in the native tongue. “May preconceptions yung mga tao na kapag Filipino writing, typically seryoso. Dahil may notion na hindi mo pwedeng pagtawanan yung problema ng bayan,” says Gonzales.

“Ang napapansin kong mas nagre-react ang mga [followers ng webcomics ko] sa mga topics kapag tungkol siya sa trending issues at the time of the release pero kailangang naaayon yung sinasabi ng comic sa opinion ng majority ng mga mambabasa,” says Eugene Madayag.

T H E C O M I C

C O M E D I A N

Eugene “Toto” Madayag, creator of Libreng Komiks and Kolsenter Komiks

B O O B - T U B E

E X P E R T

Alex Calleja of Comedy Manila, writer at Goin’ Bulilit and It’s Showtime, former host at Usapang Lalaki

T H E P A G E

T U R N E R

Vladimeir Gonzales, University of the Philippines professor and author of Intellectual Mass Starvation, Dirty Pop Machines vs. Academia Nuts, Isang Napakalaking Kaastigan, and A-Side B-Side Vladimiriun Gonzali Alexus Callejus Tutus Madayagis “May conditioning sa readers: for something to be funny, it must be quick and light. Ang hirap

na ang dami mong gustong ipakilalang issues pero bawal maging

boring.”

“Ratings and fan feedback are the only ways to know whether

what you wrote was funny or not, “Kailangan

mo pang maghintay nang matagal to know

their reactions.”

He struggles to get into the “zone.” “Ang

hirap magsimula ng isang comic strip kung pagod

pa ang utak mo dahil andaming distractions sa paligid. But once nalagpasan ko yun, nakakarami ako ng

gawa.” “Limang beses kong pino-proofread yung

comics bago ko ilabas. Sa writing

lang naman ako nagre-revise; wala na

sa illustration. Nasa isip ko na rin kasi ang expressions ng characters per panel.” “Ang batayan ko ng

effectiveness ng isang comic strip ay kung na-achieve ang aim niya [depending on its theme, whether it be] drama, comedy, or suspense.”

“We do stingers and funny faces after jokes

because some viewers don’t even listen to the jokes we write and just laugh when their favorite actors to do a funny face.

Getting your material edited to the point that it isn’t funny anymore is

frustrating. “Maraming dinadaanang editing yung isinusulat mo, at minsan wala ka na ring

say sa execution.” “Bumebenta ngayon yung mga patawang may kasamang hugot,” notes Gonzales. “Siguro mas may kinalaman siya sa instant emotional stimulation na nakukuha ng mga tao dahil sa relatability niya.”

“Meron namang audience yung comedic writing pero parang may

sense of entitlement sila na kung hindi mo sila napatawa agad, bibitawan nila ‘yung libro mo.”

The challenge of the TV comedian isn’t only to make his audience laugh but to also appease his network and critics. “Sa Usapang Lalaki, talagang borderline bastos kami roon pero buti na lang inaral namin kung paano kami hindi makakasuhan ng MTRCB,” says Calleja. “Subtle yung pagkamanyak ng jokes namin–katulad ni Palakang Toti, ang palakang palatanong. Kung sinabi ng MTRCB na bastos daw yun, sasabihin na lang naming, baka marumi lang talaga utak nila,” says Calleja. FHM

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18 FHM MARCH 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

when the competition gets too friendly

Cabin fever

Story CHISE ALCANTARA Art MELVIN CALINGO

V e r g e

FHM COM ICS

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P u l s e

P

Y O U R G U I D E t O

E V E R Y t H I N G

t R E N D I N G

Edited by PONG M. CASTILLO [email protected]

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DREAM tEAM CLASH

How Marvel

created a

fantastic

universe

…and how they

got us all in it

Pulse Illustrations LOUIS ARENAS

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Captain ameriCa: Civil war opens in theaters on april 27

P u l s e

W O R D S : D IN Z O T A B A M O

a ll th e

m a r v e l

te a m U p s

ironman Captain ameriCa

BUCKY BlaCK wiDow hawKeYe vision FalCon BlaCK panther ant-man everett ross spiDer-man thor loKi hUlK niCK FUrY Dr. stranGe the ColleCtor thanos sCarlet witCh war maChine minD Control avenGers enemies tUrneD allies Best FrienDs

inFinitY stone saGa BlaCK panther

sherloCK anD watson

teamUp

Y

ou may have felt the collective nerdgasm in 2008, when at the end of Iron Man, Nick Fury appeared in what is now famously known as a post-credits sequence.

As Marvel Studios expanded its cinematic universe, it brought us into the realm of Norse gods (Thor), and back to World War II (Captain America: The First Avenger). Amazingly, this made all of the interwoven stories believable, and excitement grew with each new movie. Characters and items were starting to cross over: a Tony Stark cameo here, a familiar shield there, all leading up to the 2012 movie that would set the bar for superhero team-up flicks.

The Avengers not only exceeded the expectations of comic fans, it also

proved to be a shockingly good movie. The hits kept coming with Phase Two of the interwoven franchise that Hollywood now envied. Other studios tried to mimic this formula, with results that ranged from the terrible Amazing Spider-Man to the execrable Man of Steel.

Eventually, cracks in Marvel’s perfect universe started to show. The “flipbook” logo’s guarantee of a good time led to a uniformity that was the result of directors and writers adhering to a bigger tapestry. Films sometimes felt like build-ups to the next tent-pole Avengers movie.

But when the formula clicked, it still gave us an unforgettable ride. In The Winter Soldier, the writers upended the established cinematic world. When Age of Ultron hit theaters, it didn’t reach the peaks

of the first film, but it was a proper sequel with wallpaper-perfect scenes, high stakes, and even the loss of a team member.

Marvel created the formula on how to team up and combine characters. Now it is pitting them against each other in Captain America: Civil War. After laying waste to New York, Washington DC, and Sokovia, the Avengers are forced to be regulated. This fractures the team, with Captain America on one side, and Iron Man on the other.

Notably, Spider-Man makes his Marvel debut after Sony Pictures thankfully realized they don‘t know how to handle a popular character and gave him back to Marvel to creatively manage.

As sure as there is traffic on Edsa, the new Captain America flick will kick ass. For hardcore fans and casual moviegoers, it’s a golden age for superhero movies. Like Nick Fury said, we’ve become part of a bigger universe,

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KRAKEN’S FAVORItE

Invasion!

Big league gaming comes

to manila with esl one

We spoke with Marlon “Lon” Marcelo, VP for Marketing for Mineski, who are currently co-producing the DOTA bonanza that is ESL One Manila–it’s the first ever international-level gaming event to be held in Southeast Asia and they chose us. Along with the $250,000 (P11.9 million) pot to play for, does that mean we’re legit now? We’ve heard that “E-sports is here” several times before, and now we have the hype going on again because of ESL One Manila. In your opinion, is this tournament the real “it’s here” moment at last? I believe the hype for e-sports was already “real” many years before. There are local leagues that Filipino gamers are very much aware of like the Mineski Pro-Gaming League. What ESL One does is mark the entrance of Philippine e-sports into the global limelight. ESL has the easy comparison of “DOTA World Cup.” How would you describe ESL in a similar manner?

Just like in basketaball may FIBA, may

Olympics. Lahat sila iba't ibang format and teams pero prestigious.

There will be downers who say “it isn't The International” or “di pumunta lahat ng big teams.” The answer to that would be variety, may underdogs or regional rivalry. And it's about the experience as well–first time ng most e-sports fans in the country na makakanood ng ganito on such a grand scale. Our readers might not know, but you also cast [commentate] games for Mineski, and you can act like a total clown while casting. Doing so, what’s the secret?

As a caster, one of the

main things that we need to do is communicate yung mga mahihirap na salita or terms and dapat maka-relate yung mga viewers mo. Sakto rin ang mga Pinoy gamers kasi mas makukulit sila at masayahin compared sa iba–kaya nilang i-appreciate yung casting ko kasi hindi always #realtalk and boring. If you had a kid would you let him DOTA all day in hopes of becoming the next e-sports star?

Pwede, I'll have him practice responsible gaming. You can game; pero ayusin mo muna studies mo. Pag may future talaga siya, or talagang magaling, why not? As long as happy siya, go ako dun. FHM

esl (eleCtroniC sports leaGUe) one manila happens

on april 23-24 at the mall oF asia

arena W O R D S : A S H MAH INA Y

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How do you solve a

(feminist’s) problem

like Darna?

Female superheroes are

ravishing, sexy, strong, and,

well, super. so why aren’t

there more oF them?

Eleven years since Elektra, there have been countless superhero flicks featuring male superheroes, including five Spider-Man films.

Here at home, the situation isn’t any better.

When major studios aren’t churning out rom-coms or kerida films, they’re rebooting Darna for the nth time, now with acclaimed film director Erik Matti in the driver’s seat.

When Mars Ravelo created Darna in the ‘50s, it quickly became an icon of a strong, self-possessed woman. And while Darna may be a far cry from a demure Maria Clara, she has become a symbol of unattainable female perfection.

While male superheroes are portrayed as three-dimensional characters: struggling with 'demons,' damaged yet are able to pull through for the ‘greater good,' Darna’s brand of female empowerment seems more in line with Taylor Swift’s: she looks good in pictures, but doesn’t really amount to much in reality. After all, she is a product of male writers and directors who may or may not have put themselves in her boots.

Are dark plots and origin stories reserved for the men? Let's hope Darna in 2016 will be a little less Wonder Woman-ish and a little more Jessica Jones-ish. We'll see...

WOMAN WOES

Sexy

superheroes,

ranked!

marian rivera as Darna miChelle pFeiFFer as Catwoman sCarlett Johansson as BlaCK wiDow lYnDa Carter as wonDer woman JenniFer lawrenCe as mYstiqUe

P u l s e

Darna movie opens in theaters this Year. W O R D S : C H IA R A C U I

1

2

3

4

5

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The end (of print) is

near…or is it?

the Future oF puBlication is literally

happening in snaps

It’s a heartbreaking fact: print magazines have been steadily losing readership to blogs and webzines. But now that mobile is where it’s at, publishers have a renewed chance at capturing that otherwise lost reader market.

How, you ask? Snapchat. At face value, Snapchat doesn’t seem to have a coherent intention: casual messaging and

self-destructing ’snaps,’ which are online only for just 24 hours. This ephemeral approach has taught us that it's okay to not have everything archived forever. There are no Likes

As a young boy, Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird was an eye-opening and enjoyable first taste of true literature. But it was Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum that would alternately dazzle, then defeat me, over and over again.

While I imagined Eco was throwing me a mountain, other books and authors, would soon prove it to be a mere molehill. Take Melville. Or Joyce. Marquez. Frantzen. That great Everest, War and Peace. Scaling those peaks teaches a reader that a book gives back only as much as you bring into it. And books demand much. There’s no sense in attempting to even climb them—unless you reason, as mountaineers do, because they’re there.

Sometimes, that’s the only reason you need.

To recap the (spoiler alert) last line of Focault's: “I might as well stay here, wait, and look at the hill. It’s so beautiful.” to Kill a moCKinGBirD anD FoUCaUlt’s penDUlUm are availaBle at seleCt national BooKstore BranChes.

To kill a

pendulum

two dead authors… and the BeneFits oF reading in diFFicult mode

PUB REPORt

or Faves either, so you don’t have to worry about what your friends think of you.

And here’s the good news for print purists: a means for users to subscribe to specific channels is

currently in the works. While nothing on Snapchat is currently monetized, applying a subscription model for publishers is not far from happening.

Snapchat may still be an enigma, but once upon a time, Twitter was like that, too. And the app has come a long way from being a medium for nudes and dick photos.

With major news publications reaching millennials, kids may just grow out of their mopey Tumblr gifs and become more engaged citizens by being in the know. One “snap” at a time.

SMARt READS hit DisCover anD reaD throUGh artiCles BY BiG meDia Companies liKe

the wall street JoUrnal, nat Geo,

anD Cnn. W O R D S : A N N E M A R I R O N Q U IL L O ; W A R R E N E S P E JO W O R D S : L IO M A N G U B A T

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The Politics of

Games of Thrones

...is eerily similar to our own real-liFe dilemma

Game of Thrones rolls in its sixth season and Halalan 2016 draws near, reminding us how strikingly similar our reality is to the one aired on TV. After all, Westeros and the Philippines are kingdoms in limbo, left in the hands of a man, who may or may not be competent to rule a nation.

This clusterfuck of a campaign season was over before it even began. Between Santiago’s special brand of crazy, Binay’s alleged corruption, Duterte’s lack of fucks given about what you think he thinks, Roxas’s cringe-worthy ploys to seem relatable, and Poe’s untested mettle, it’s slim pickings, as usual, for the Filipinos. At this point, Philippine politics has become a game of ‘Who Will Do the Least Damage’ where, at the end of the day, there are no winners. And unlike the people of Westeros, there won’t be some beautiful and benevolent leader who’ll swoop in on a dragon to solve all our problems.

Thankfully, Filipinos have a very short memory, so it won’t be long until we’re complaining about something else again. We end this with a quote not from GoT but from a French philosopher who said it best: “Every nation gets the government it deserves.” IDIOt BOX

GoT vs

Halalan

2016

the pickings For your head oF state, gents and ladies Jejomar Binay is Joffrey Baratheon Insufferable head with not much redeeming qualities

Miriam Defensor Santiago is Lord Varys

Whip smart, but with a dark alter ego

Rodrigo Duterte is Stannis Baratheon An “ends justifies the means” kind of guy

Grace Poe is Cersei Lannister Wants to continue her father’s legacy, more of the same kind of politics

Mar Roxas is Jorah Mormont While his heart may be in the right place, he’s out of touch and wants it too much

P u l s e

W O R D S : C H IA R A C U I

(29)

Even though we live in a two-season country, the sunny months seem to fly by way too fast and we’re back in the grind before we know it, wondering where the heck summer vacation went. (It’s science’s fault. Brain science says happy experiences slip away much more easily than dull ones.)

Tangible summer

memory

slowing down precious time at halo

VACAtION GOALS BaranGaY liGaYa, anilao, BatanGas, philippines 0917 856 0618 FaCeBooK: halo anilao Dive resort

A smartphone takes bigger photos than Fujifilm’s Instax Mini 70, but you can’t pin those on a wall. Instax photos also have that tactile sensation when you show your beloved memories to others–way better than scrolling through a digital photo album.

A different

insta-gram

M EMORY CAtCHER

So what you should do is fill this summer with new adventures. How about literally diving into some new memories with your first scuba trip? (See what we did there?)

Halo Anilao, a cool dive resort in Batangas, is what you need. The vibe of a dive resort is extremely different from the walwal atmosphere of a typical tourist beach. It’s just right for those weekend getaways you take to recharge. Literally a whole new world awaits underwater for you. (Also, Halo’s buffet breakfast, lunch, and dinner are way better than your usual siomai meal).

W O R D S : A S H MAH INA Y

(30)

P u l s e

‘What do you think?’

Natasha RiNgoR waNts you to iNteRpRet heR

dRawiNgs of cute giRls with deadly weapoNs

aNd aNdRogyNous pole-daNciNg meN

BADASS WOMAN PHOTOGRAPHY ROY MACAM WORDS CHISE ALCANTARA

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apRil 2016 FHM 29 www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial

In hindsight, it might have not been the best idea to let Natasha Ringor handle deadly weapons during the shoot. We’ve seen her artwork and have watched enough animé to know that you should never trust a cute girl holding a katana. But hey, no one from our staff got sliced so it’s all good.

“I love drawing strong women,” Natasha explains, herself a strong woman, having recently taken up pole dancing. “Whenever I draw one, I’d imagine her to be pretty and to know [that she’s pretty]. And at the same time she could also murder you so you wouldn’t want to mess with her. In animé terms, you can probably call it yandere. But I’m not promoting violence or anything. I just love the [apparent] discrepancy of a pretty lady in a dress holding a rifle.”

You’ll find many incongruous pairings in Natasha’s life. But her career choices, so far, all point to her artistry. She currently works as a graphic designer and is a regular

Natasha’s

works

HAI R & MAK E U P : AN N E C A S TAÑ O ; S T Y L IN G : D E BR A BE R NAL E S

illustrator for several children’s books available on an app called Farfaria. At the same time, she also dabbles in comics. Her most recent project, a fantasy RPG novel by Edgar Calabia Samar, is called Janus Sílang at ang Tiyanak ng Tábon.

Natasha loves it when the stories she works on leave her space to give her own interpretation of the piece. “One of my favorites is Cinderella (also one of her children’s stories) because I was able to put my own spin on it,” she says. “I placed the setting in the Philippines during the colonial era—I played with character designs and made the prince come from a sultanate and the

fairy godmother a diwata.” Most of Natasha’s friends seem to think that her characters look like her. But according to Natasha, her mirror image isn’t her inspiration at all. “I don’t really see myself in my art besides the fact that my characters are long-limbed,” she says. “It was an anime called D.Gray-Man that really influenced my drawing style. I really loved the characters’ art style with their long slender figures and gothic England inspired setting.”

Natasha is passionate about drawing the androgynous, slender, muscular characters of D.Gray-Man because of the questions they invite. “I like drawing characters with ambiguous features. I like having people have their own interpretations of my drawings.”

It’s this quality of Natasha’s that opens her art to possibilities she herself hasn’t even thought of. And these can only be explored by those who are willing to answer her question: “What do you think?”

FOLLOW NATASHA ON TUMBLR: HTTp:// AMOOSeBOUcHe. TUMBLR.cOM/ INSTAGRAM: @ AMOOSeBOUcHe

Elves King,

digital

The Staff,

digital

Mouth Kisses,

(32)

30 FHM APRIL 2016 facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial www.fhm.com.ph

Everyone on your Instagram feed has been to Japan. (So has everyone’s mother).

The torture you endure every time you scroll down is acute and the images, so familiar: a really big grin at the Gundam Statue, an emo pose beside a cherry blossom tree, a “Look, I’m eating ramen like it’s my first time” face somewhere in downtown Tokyo. You find them all cheeky—and insensitive to the people whose idea of saving up still involves beer and videogames.

But, TBH, you envy these people, don’t you? And you’ve already secretly planned how you’re going to trump their posts. It’s not enough, though, to just smile wider or do more variations on your jump shot. If you really want to show people how to properly vacay in the Land of the Rising Sun, don’t stick to the tourist-y spots.

Here’s a suggestion: do Nissan’s Nismo Festival. It’s a huge event that demonstrates just how crazy the Japanese are for cars.

Race queens, race gear, a pit tour, after-market accessories, even freak-ing tires: the Nismo Festival, which takes place every November at the Fuji Speedway, has it all. There are also races—after all, Nismo is Nissan’s motoring division. And you can buy a seat on a bus that’ll go around the track while GT cars practice.

The festival is a few clicks away from Tokyo, sure, but it’ll be worth it. Just imagine your social media profile photo: Your freezing ass (it’ll be autumn, so bring appropriate attire) with Mt. Fuji and a few awesome cars in the background. Count the likes that’ll bring.

Banzai ,

motorhead!

Add this to your JApAn

itinerAry

WORDS BRIAN ADRIAN BORLEO

For the complete NissaN JapaN experieNce,

you should also visit the Zama heritage collectioN aNd the NissaN

headquarters, both iN yokohama, where you

will drowN iN awesome cars.

P u l s e

MOTOR FIESTA

(33)

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There was always someThing deep abouT ebe dancel; you

could hear iT in his songs. Then we found he wenT way deeper Than we could probably handle, and iT goT

us Thinking...

Interview

JOHN PAULO AGUILERA

Photography

EJAY LEUNG OF MIDNIGHT BONKERS

Grooming JANINA DIZON Styling DEBRA BERNALES

G e n t

G

B E A

L A D I E S ’ M A N

Edited by CECILE JUSI-BALTASAR [email protected]

(35)

(36)

H

in the last three times we had seen ebe dancel perform live, he’d always experienced a glitch onstage. we were quite convinced we were the harbingers of ill.

The first was during the press conference for his recently concluded 3d: dama concert with his newfound brothers in craft, Johnoy danao and bullet dumas. The three were asked to render even just a snippet of what audiences were to expect from them come showtime. on ebe’s turn, the mic suddenly decided to stop working, which prompted him to say, “hindi na kailangan yan, tayu-tayo lang naman, eh,” before carrying on.

That incident happened in a coffee shop; the grander fusion 2016 happened at the mall of asia concert grounds. There he was, emerging onstage in rousing anticipation. with great zeal, he opened with heneral luna’s theme song, “hanggang wala nang bukas.” ebe’s entrance couldn’t have been more emphatic.

if only he was audible.

“grabe yun,” he recalls, still in disbelief of what had happened at the concert. “yung nasa board turned everything off, by accident. hindi niya sinasadya. sorry siya nang sorry sa‘kin, sabi ko, ‘well, you know, i played one song and then...what can i say?’”

most recent was during 3d’s show

at conspiracy garden. not only had ebe left his guitar at home in los baños, laguna, but audio feedback also gave him a hard time before he could even play his first number.

The day of the shoot was no different; our subject stood by the sink, in some way flustered over spilled precious whiskey on the kitchen countertop, which was meant to loosen him up.

ebe isn’t really a stranger to dead mics, broken strings, and bad cables in his two decade-long career. on a personal level, he’s hit a couple of snags himself.

he admits he had to start from scratch when sugarfree disbanded, going gig-less for a considerable period of time before getting back into circulation. and just last year, he faced an even fatal predicament regarding his emotional well-being—but more on that later.

e turned restless.

why wouldn’t he have? The man just

realized there was a leak in his hip flask.

meanwhile, we were asking ourselves,

“why does this keep happening?”

We have to say, in those nowhere-near-perfect gigs, you handled the crazy technical difficulties pretty well.

i’ve tried not to let it affect me. kasi, those little things, unforeseen, they really do happen. parang nasanay na lang siguro, dealing with it all. kasi you always have to remember that people pay good money to see you play, so the last thing you want to do is mess it up. make it worth their while, kasi they could always go somewhere else and see other bands, or just stay home and watch a movie. but they chose to see us, so dapat sulit yung experience for them, as much as it is for me. dati nung mas bata pa ako, i’d throw fits onstage, and hindi siya magandang tingnan. you try to set an example for younger musicians that these things really do happen. hangga’t maaari, hold your breath, just suck it up, and play anyway, di ba?

and akin to his professionalism whenever his technical crew falters, ebe has been the consummate optimist when facing life’s major distractions in that he remains unfazed and resolute, fully aware that the show must go on. it’s only a leaking flask, after all. Just another glitch in the gig.

(37)

Recently, you decided to totally escape the city and opt for a life in the province, specifically in Los Baños, Laguna. Why?

dun ako nag-high school, sa up rural high school, but my parents wanted me here for college. siguro probinsyano at heart lang talaga ako. i never really got used to the bright lights. hanggang ngayon naku— culture shock ako, eh. The traffic is getting worse every day, tapos dun sa los baños, ang dami mong makikitang naka-bike, katulad ko. hindi ako nagda-drive dun. i manage a restaurant there; pag nagsara, magba-bike ako pauwi. during my down time, tumatakbo lang ako. kasi safe dun—safe mag-bike, safe tumakbo. yung mga nagba-bike dun hindi binubusinahan, hindi pinapatabi ng mga sasakyan.

What do you love most about your current setup?

it’s very peaceful. simpleng buhay. mas ideal yung setup ngayon, a lot less complicated. walang internet, walang cable. my electric bill was a hundred and 59 bucks; electric fan at ref lang. minsan magluluto ako. ang dami mo rin kasing pwedeng kainan dun, at saka gustung-gusto ko yung mga pagkain sa carinderia eh. walang katulad yun. reminds me of my mom’s cooking, kaya siguro ako nahuhumaling sa mga ganung pagkain. Tapos p20, p25—magluluto lang ako ng rice ko—meron na akong ulam.

What is a typical Los Baños day like for you?

i wake up at 5 a.m. first thing i do, syempre i pray. Then, i make my coffee, put on some music. minsan naka-spotify lang ako, naka-discover weekly lang, intuitive eh. all the stuff you listen to, they take note of

it, tapos maghahanap sila ng related material. so it’s good research, because you get to listen to new music, from other countries—it’s fascinating. and then i read a book, use my data… in the afternoon, i run, go home, take a shower, quick dinner, tapos balik na ako sa restaurant.

Tell us more about your restaurant. i own a really small restaurant, it’s called entablado, right outside the up gate. isa sa mga gustong-gusto kong gawin: ako ‘yung nagse-serve ng lunch. kahit sinasabihan ako ng staff, “sir, ako na.” hindi, gusto kong gawin eh. may kakaibang klaseng gratification na ihatid mo yung pagkain sa taong gutom, na makita mong mag-light up yung mukha nila. sobrang babaw ko noh? pero yun yung mga bumubuo ng araw ko eh. i see people, yung mga mata nila manlalaki, kasi yung pagkain na hinihintay nila buong umaga, dumating na. yun.

(38)

Was your decision to flee to the countryside connected, in any way, to your penchant for solitude?

growing up, i didn’t have many friends. my dad was a banker; he kept on being assigned to different branches. every two years lumilipat kami, so ako lagi yung new kid. Tapos dahil ikaw yung new kid, ikaw ang kakausapin ng mga tao. yung communication skills ko when i was that young, di naman polished, so mas nandun lang ako sa isang

sulok. but i didn’t mind it, enjoy rin… okay mapag-isa eh, kasi parang you’d make up your own world. it’s a lot more fun. madalang na madalang ako lumabas, but when i go out with friends, i have a good time. it’s just that i prefer small groups, or just hanging out with just one person at a time, than go to a club, and meet new people. i’m not that kind of guy eh. Have you adopted your somewhat ‘back-to-basics’ approach in lifestyle to your musical direction?

parang ganun, kaya na-e-enjoy ko yung tour ng 3d eh. There’s no band for a change, naririnig ko lang yung gitara ko. Tapos, kita mo yung tao, they’re not swaying along, or hindi sila nagkukwentuhan, the entire time! pag may nagsasalita, naririnig, hanggang umabot sa point na mahihiya na yung nagsasalita. yung mga nasa labas, talagang wala kang maririnig. pag nagbagsak ka ng coin, magre-reverberate sa buong place. That’s what i love most about the tour. We’re sure you’ve been asked a lot—and we mean a LOT—why Sugarfree disbanded. But when you were mulling over your decision to leave, did you see it turning out this way?

wala, ano lang talaga, “out.” yun lang talaga yung iniisip ko—the door. i wanted to quit entirely, but i already signed a recording. pagod, burnout. in any profession, whether you’re a doctor, lawyer, or musician—like you’re a writer—at some point, you just kind of go through burnout, stress. so i guess i needed some time to reassess the situation… ngayon mas na-a-appreciate ko yung ginagawa ko. how many people get to do this after so many years? konti lang eh. so blessed talaga ko. umabot pa nga ko ng fhm eh!

An artist like you is usually viewed as super romantic, based on your ability to express yourself through emotionally woven words. But what

is your outlook on love?

i don’t think i’ll ever understand the concept of love. it’s very complicated. There’s always someone else to consider, and parang when you mean so well, parang you end up doing something bad. it’s a lot more complicated than i thought. i used to read about it when i was a kid. “oh, love’s easy”—no, it’s not. it’s a lot of work… pero sulit lagi. meron akong sinulat na foreword sa isang libro:

‘love is like walking into the dark, knowing you might hit a wall. but you walk on anyway.’ it’s totally worth it, love is always worth it. all the pain it causes? sulit.

What is Ebe Dancel’s way of the woo? all the girls i ever went out with, hindi siya ligaw eh. na you’re going to pursue someone like, “can i get your number?” i become friends with them, and then things just sort of happen. parang, “ah, may gusto na pala ko

sa’yo!” “ah sh*t, may gusto ka rin sa’kin!” and then you know, you start going out, and then it’s a cycle. at some point, maghihiwalay kayo, and then at some point, you’ll find someone [else].

During DAMA, you opened up about being diagnosed with clinical depression last year. How was it before you found out that you had it?

i suspect i’ve always had it, kasi medyo may parts talaga sa buhay ko na malungkutin ako kahit masaya yung buhay ko. umabot sa point na meron na akong anxiety attacks in the morning, di ko ma-control, ‘di ko ma-explain… and then i tried to contain the anxiety attacks. What was the worst part of having depression, and how were you able to overcome it? dati na-ano ako, i was paralyzed... dapat magre-record ako ng album, hindi matuluy-tuloy. hindi ako makalabas ng bahay, pare. Takot ako sa mundo. ayokong mabuhay sa takot eh, alam mo yun? it’s just like, i realized some things never go away, so you just learn to deal with stuff better. start becoming a better person. start dealing with the situation. on top of all of that, i have a very supportive family.

How are you now?

i think the worst part is over. although i tried medication, instead of relying on it, i quit, and then i started running, biking, and then i lost my excess weight. i started living a healthier lifestyle. sinabihan kasi ako, “if you don’t want to take your meds, you need an alternative. what do you want to do?” sabi ko, “i want to sleep.” “no! don’t sleep! move!” okay, so nag-bike ako, tumakbo ako. i started taking solo out-of-town trips. you know, on a whim, paggising ko. i feel like going to the beach; buong araw, nandun lang ako. nakahiga lang ako sa cabana, wala kong kausap, pinapatay ko yung phone ko. Tahimik… i’ve met other people who’ve had worse cases, and they were able to overcome it. so, yun. here i am, trying. FHM

‘i think the worst part

is over. although i tried

medication, instead of

relying on it, i quit, and

then i started running,

biking, and then i lost

my excess weight. i

started living a healthier

lifestyle’

(39)

(40)

G e n t

No fuss, no

‘cook’ dinner

for two

You won’t go neAR A stove. but

thAt doesn’t meAn You cAn’t

suRPRIse heR—And YouRseLf—wIth

these whIP-uPs

D A T I N G

Words, food prep, and styling ROSELLE MIRANDA Photography

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www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial

WITH PARMESAN SHAVINGS

WITH MASHED POTATO,

CORN, AND GREEN PEAS

STARTER

MAIN

GAZPACHO

SOUP

ROTISSERIE

CHICKEN BREASTS

The blender is for more

than just pureeing “stuff.’’ With the right ingredients, you can impress her right from the get-go

14 native tomatoes, roughly chopped 3 cloves garlic, peeled 1 red onion, peeled, quartered

1 cucumber, seeds removed, chopped 1 large green pepper, seeds removed, roughly chopped

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, more to serve 2 tbsp cane vinegar, or to taste

Salt and ground black pepper, to taste Parmesan cheese, to serve

1 Reserve 1/4 cup each of tomatoes, green pepper, and onion. Season with salt and ground black pepper. Chill until ready to serve. 2 In a blender, add half the tomatoes, garlic, and

onion. Pulse until pureed. Add remaining tomatoes, then cucumber, pepper, garlic, and onion. Process until chunky.

3 Drizzle in olive oil as the blender processes. Mixture will turn creamy.

Season with vinegar, salt and ground black pepper. Transfer to a container, cover, and chill until ready to serve.

4 When ready to serve, taste soup and adjust seasoning as needed.

Ladle into a large bowl. Top with reserved tomato mixture. Use a vegetable peeler to shave Parmesan cheese over each. Drizzle with olive oil. Serve immediately with two spoons. Blender Microwave Toaster oven Fridge Toss a few jalapeños into the blender, and use its pickling vinegar for some added zing!

Yup, your microwave can do more than just heat up the leftover pasta you had last night

2 large potatoes, scrubbed clean 1/4 cup butter, softened 1/4 cup fresh milk, room temperature

1/2 cup sweet kernel corn, drained 1/2 cup frozen green

peas, thawed 2 rotisserie chicken breasts

Salt and ground black pepper, to taste 1 Poke potatoes all over with a fork. Wrap two paper towels around each potato. Drench them under running water. Place on a microwave-safe plate, seam side down, and microwave on. High for 10 minutes, turning halfway, or until each potato is fork tender.

Using a spoon, scoop out the potato flesh into a bowl. Mash with butter and milk, and season to taste with salt and ground black pepper. 2 Microwave peas for one minute, then the corn in a microwave-safe bowl with a little water. Lightly mash peas with a fork. Stir with the potatoes. 3 Heat up chicken breasts in a toaster oven. Slice on the diagonal, and place on a plate. Add mashed potatoes on the side. Serve immediately.

EQUIPMENT

CHECK

TAkES 10 MINuTES

MAkES 2 lARgE SERvINgS

(42)

G e n t

WITH QUICK PICKLED SALAD

MAIN

3-CHEESE PESTO

CHICKEN QUESADILLA

no-cook and biceps-friendly You can actually put good things on a slice of bread

before you throw it in the toaster oven

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 1/2 cup Nutella 1 pack (250 ml.) whipping cream 1 In a microwave-safe bowl, heat chocolate chips for 30 seconds. Stir, and if needed, heat for additional 10-second intervals until melted, stirring in between each

interval. Stir in Nutella. Set aside.

2 In a bowl using a whisk, whisk cream until you get soft peaks.* Using a spatula, gently fold in the chocolate and Nutella mixture into the whipped cream. Scoop into jars or ramekins and chill. Grate some chocolate over each before serving.

NUTELLA

MOUSSE

DESSERT

Lift the whisk from the whipped cream and turn upside down. If the tip of the cream folds onto itself softly, you’ve reached soft peak. Don't care? Use the blender to whip up the cream.

YOUR

DATE-NIGHT BATTLE

PLAN

Set aside at least an hour to get this all done. She'll tingle with excitement seeing your culinary masterpiece that looks like it took you a day to whip up!

Whisk the mousse.

this needs to chill the longest, so get it out of the way first.

Puree the soup. chop

up your veggies, and get the blender going. the longer this sits, the better the flavor.

Prep the chicken. cut

the breasts away from the breast bones, and wrap in foil. Pop in the toaster to heat up when it's time to serve. shred the chicken into bite-sized pieces, and toss in pesto. set aside.

Make the mash and

salad. microwave the

potatoes until tender, then peas, and corn until just hot. toss corn, peas, and chickpeas together. mix and season, and re-heat in the microwave when ready to serve.

TAkES 10 MINuTES

TAkES 15 MINuTES

MAkES 2 SERvINgS

Q

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APRIL 2016 FHM 41 www.fhm.com.ph facebook.com/FHM.ph • twitter.com/fhmphil • fhmphilofficial

WOMEN

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT

ThaT smarTass canine from The Pugad

BaBoy series may noT know squaT

aBouT females,* BuT we’ve gleaned This

much from iTs creaTor

Pol Medina Jr.

You can end up with a woman who’s supposed to be out of your league. Based on experience, at least. Sinuwerte ako sa wife ko eh. The very first woman na pinormahan ko nung high school, mas matanda sa akin, maputi at matangkad: basted kaagad ako! Mahilig kasi ako sa matangkad, pero hindi naman ako katangkaran. Over the years, natuto rin ako pumili ng mga babae na pasok sa league ko, but like I said, sinuwerte ako. May mga na-meet na akong mga babae na kahit sundutin ka pa yata sa mata, papatawarin mo sila. Maraming babaeng ganun. Sobrang charming. Kaya nilang i-pull off. Kaya nilang maging mas bastos at mas berde pa sa mga lalaki ng hindi nakaka-offend.

Minsan lumalabas na sila pa ang nanliligaw. Kasi mahiyain ako, and I have a social anxiety disorder, para hindi ako ma-reject ng babae, hinihintay ko na magparamdam sila na may gusto sila sa akin, tapos pag alam kong gusto na nila ako, tsaka ko lang sila liligawan.

Pero madali rin silang ma-bore. Ang reklamo kasi sa’kin dati ng mga naging girlfriends ko at kaibigan kong babae, puro lang daw ako drawing. Kasi may mga barkada akong naging pari at doktor, kumpara sa kanila wala raw akong substance. Pero idol ko si Bruce Lee, kaya nung araw lagi akong nagpapaganda ng katawan. Yun lang ang panama ko kasi walang nagagawa sa akin yung line of work ko dati kahit na arkitekto ako, nakapagtrabaho na ako sa Iraq, at naging copywriter din ako sa isang advertising agency.

Fame isn’t an assurance that you’ll get more girls. Kasi ang masakit nung naging popular na yung Pugad Baboy, hindi na maganda yung katawan ko. Kaya hindi ko rin masasabing naging lapitin ako ng babae. Pero alam kasi nating hindi lang hitsura yung tinitingnan nila. Kasi marami kang makikitang mag-boyfriend o mag-asawa na hindi physically matched. Ang iisipin mo “Ano kayang nakain nitong babae na ito?” Kadalasan nadadala sa dating at sa yabang.

May kaibigan ako na pag nagre-reunion kami mabibilang mo lang sa kamay kung ilan yung hindi niya naging girlfriend, halos lahat dun naging sila—paraplegic yun ah. Pero hindi mo siya kakaawaan, dahil andun yung confidence at malakas yung dating niya.

Nababaduyan yung wife ko pag nagbibigay ako ng roses. Niregaluhan ko siya isang beses ng painting of a bouquet, ang biro niya “Hanggang mamatay na ba ako niyan?”

Not every woman wants an elaborate proposal. Kapag nakikita ko yung mga elaborate proposals ngayon, napapa-wow na lang ako. Hindi kasi kami ganun. Nung nag-propose ako sa asawa ko, may anak na kami, so it was just a matter of formalizing it. Parang nagkasikuhan lang na “Ano, gusto mo ba magpakasal?” “Oo ba!”

In every relationship, dapat hindi ka matakot makipag-away. Kasi that’s how your resilience is tested—how you bounce back. If you can’t handle a fight, baka maghiwalay kayo kaagad sa first sign of conflict. Kung ingat na ingat ka rin na hindi kayo mag-away, magsi-simmer yung galit, hanggang sa isang araw magiging bulkan na lang, maghahanap na siya ng lawyer. Hindi kagaya nung nailalabas mo kaagad, ang hahanapin lang niya massage.

Pag hindi ka na

niya kinikibo,

yayain mo

siyang kumain.

kaniya-kaniyang

formula yan how

to make amends.

Pero sa amin

yan yung cue.

kung madalas

kayong mag-away,

makakabisado mo

na yung formula

kung paano kayo

magkakabati.

A S TO L d TO K HY N E L . P AL U MAR ; P H O TO g R AP HY : P A U L M O N d O K ; S T Y LI N g : g E N IE R ANA d A -B AB IS TA ; g R OOMI N g : A N N E C A S TA Ñ O

G e n t

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Sam

PINTO

SUN

KISSED

r e ki n dli ng h e r love affai r with us cou ldn’t have com e at a mor e pe r fect ti m e

(45)

PINTO

KISSED

(46)

ST YL I N G R EY SANTOS MAKE U P JAK E GALVE Z HAI R F I D E L TAN G O S P EC IAL THAN KS TO M S. VE R O N I Q U E D E L R OSAR I O - C O R P UZ O F VIVA ARTI ST AG E N CY I N C., S I R E NA SWI MWEAR @S I R E NASWI MWEAR P h, N I C O LE AN D M I C K EY ALBAN O F LI LY’S TO U C h B EAUTY E NTE R P R I S E M E I B E R NALES O F Z UZ U N I B O UTI Q U E h OTE L, B OAT STATI O N 1, Wh ITE B EAC h, B O R ACAY I S LAN D. FO R M O R E I N FO R MATI O N, LO G O N TO WWW.Z UZ U N I.N ET

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FHM April 2016

B L O W T H AT

Y E E Z Y

H O W R E A L

S N E A K E R H E A D S

P L AY T H E

S H O E G A M E

T H E R I S E

[ A N D FA L L? ]

O F M A N N Y

PA C Q U I A O

E B E

D A N C E L’ S

S O N G F O R

T R O U B L E D

S O U L S

S U N

S A N D

&

SAM PINTO

P150

CONTENTS

C lO U d 9

Sam Pinto at the

beach. Our summer

just got hotter. (And

we like it!)

CONTENTS

What FHMers have

been up to this month

I may have been an OG

sneakerhead once, but I was

too dumb to figure it out.

IS FHM STILL FHM?

KEEPING UP WITH THE TIMES

ALL ABOARD!

HE READS THEM FOR

THE ARTICLES

REACTIONS

V e r g e

V

G R E AT N E S S

AT E V E R Y T U R N

O F A PA G E

How to fall

without

getting hurt

FOR THE TIMES WHEN THE

WHOLE WORLD WANTS TO

KEEP US DOWN, PARKOUR

EXPERTS SHOW US HOW TO

GET BACK UP ON OUR FEET

FALLING LIKE A FELINE

To YOLO or not to

YOLO

Best

parkour

locations

V e r g e

RuNNING AwAY

FROm zOmBIES

JumpING OuT

A wINdOw OF

AN ExpLOdING

BuILdING

V e r g e

OUR FAVORITE FUNNY GUYS

EXPLAIN—IN GRAPHIC TERMS—

HOW THEY PULL OFF BEING

HILARIOUS

The

anatomy of

comedy

O R I G I N A L

S T A N D - U P

T H E C O M I C

C O M E D I A N

B O O B - T U B E

E X P E R T

T H E P A G E