We’re getting
married!
Why do
we need
pre-marriage
Marriage & Relationship Education Programs for Couples
pre-marriage
education?
Celebrants’ Code of Practice
Knowledge and understanding of family relationships services
A marriage celebrant must:
(a) maintain an up-to-date knowledge
Clause Six
(a) maintain an up-to-date knowledge about appropriate family relationships services in the community; and
(b) inform parties about the range of information and services available to them to enhance and sustain them throughout their relationship.
Services To Support Families
The Australian Government provides funding to a wide range of agencies and services to help Australian
families strengthen their relationships and to provide
assistance during family breakdown
Duty of Care & Referrals
assistance during family breakdown and when families are separating. • Family Relationship Advice Line 1800 050 321 • Family Relationship Centres
• Family and Children's Services • Family Law Services
• Legal Assistance Programs
• Family Relationships Online www.familyrelationships.gov.au
• Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs (FaHCSIA): www.fahcsia.gov.au
• LifeWorks Relationship Counselling & Education Services:
www.lifeworks.com.au
Useful links:
www.lifeworks.com.au
• CatholicCare: www.ccam.org.au
Misconceptions about pre-marriage and relationship education (let’s
get the language right). • Pre-marriage education
is not counselling.
Why do we need therapy?
is not counselling.
• It is not about changing a couple’s mind.
• It is not suggesting that anything is wrong.
Pre-marriage education is about.. • Clarifying expectations
• Learning relationship skills. • Raising awareness.
• Communicating.
Getting the Language Right.
• Communicating.
It is an opportunity for a couple to make an investment in their relationship – to enhance and enrich.
• Almost 80% of couples are co-habiting when they marry (78.6% - ABS 2010).
• Research shows that ‘becoming married’, involves a psychological process as well as a wedding event.
• Pre-marriage programs provide a unique opportunity to explore
hidden expectations of marriage.
We have been living together?
hidden expectations of marriage.
• Whilst some couples may have lived together for many years there can many predictable (and unpredictable) challenges they may face after marriage that they may not have experienced since living together (e.g. becoming parents, sharing finances).
• Whilst some pre-marriage education may have a religious component
(when they are offered by a religious or affiliated organization) standard pre-marriage programs (such as those offered at LifeWorks) are not religious in nature.
Are the programs religious?
religious in nature.
• They do not aim to impose views on how a relationship should be but rather help provide tools and insights that can be utilized to build and sustain a healthy relationship.
• Research evidence demonstrates that participating in a marriage and relationship education
program can benefit couples
through improved communication and conflict management, and
Do pre-marriage programs work?
better overall relationship quality. • It is also associated with
increased relationship stability and a decreased risk of divorce.
Couples have an opportunity to:
• reflect and consider their relationship
• clarify their expectations (e.g. children, careers, travel, retirement, intimacy, routines, beliefs, personal time and finances)
• identify and understand their individual needs and those of
What happens in pre-marriage?
• identify and understand their individual needs and those of their partner
• explore their strength and growth areas
• assess what they want as a team and their long-term goals together
• learn and practice skills such as communication and problem solving to help build a strong foundation for the relationship
• Fun, interactive.
• Combination of large group, small groups, couples. • Small teaching segment, experiential practice, debrief. • Not group therapy – disclosure and privacy protected. • Group rules established.
How are group sessions run?
• Regular breaks.
• Other couples experiencing a similar life-stage. • Trained facilitators.
• Adult learning principles. • Multi-modal learning.
• Usually involves the use of a
questionnaire (on-line?) and two or more face-to-face sessions. • Private sessions – flexible
appointment times, focussed. • Suits complex relationships.
How are individual sessions run?
• Suits complex relationships. • Trained facilitator.
• Structured – curriculum but can be tailored to suit specific issues. • Can cater to remote and regional
clients or shift-workers etc. who can’t attend group timetable.
• Re-marriage.
• Blended families. • Gay couples.
• Inter-cultural. • Inter-faith.
• Normalising the concept
• Testimonials from other couples
• Importance of getting the language rights
• “I am not judging your relationship, this is standard practice
for all clients”.
How can celebrants broach the topic?
for all clients”.
• “View it as an opportunity not a threat’ • “Relationship health check up”
• ‘an ‘eye opener’ and I would recommend to others....’
• ‘we were not embarrassed in front of the group....’
• ‘there was plenty of time for us to discuss as a couple....’
• ‘I didn’t really want to attend but
Testimonials
• ‘I didn’t really want to attend but I found the sessions very
beneficial...’
• ‘facilitator kept things rolling along and there were a variety of activities...’
• ‘nice to know we’re not the only ones going through this.’
Email received 2.7.12...titled ‘Satisfaction’
‘I had the privilege of attending your Relationship Education Course back in 2001.
XXXXXX & I have been happily married for 10 years & on
Thursday, celebrate 15 years since we met. We both attended
‘Satisfaction’
Thursday, celebrate 15 years since we met. We both attended the Kooyong Koots Ball at Leonda, Hawthorn back in 1997.
It is incredible to pull out the notes & review our answers to the questions asked during the course.We hope to be part of the statistic that remains happily married after attending your pre-marital counselling.’
Benefits of Relationship Support
Irrespective of how long you have been in a relationship or cohabiting it can be beneficial to recognize and plan for life’s ups and downs or to deal with
unexpected challenges by seeking support and learning the skills and techniques to face these together.
