Analysis of Student Writing and Reflection Kristin M. Monaghan
University of Washington Bothell
Analysis of Student Writing
In the student writing sample, the author wrote of his favorite place. The student focused this piece on his old school. This student wrote that he liked specific physical locations in the school, but also the teachers. The teachers were a main focus of the piece. The student also sang praises of the huge playgrounds and track. Importantly, the student described in detail the aspects that he liked most about his old school which provided an illustration of the qualities he valued in his favorite place.
Regarding the 6 Traits assessment system, the student’s ideas were focused and clear.
This was a short piece and the student picked one specific location with specific support facts.
The writer stayed on topic; each sentence and detail supported the main idea that his old school was his favorite place. Both generalizations and specifics were addressed in each paragraph, starting with, “The first thing is teachers.” This followed with supportive information such as “Teachers are nice, they teach with happiness.” In Writing Essentials, Routman wrote of “choice within structure” (p. 177.) By providing this student with a broad topic such as “my favorite place,” the teacher was able to tap into ideas that were clearly of interest to the student. With that sense of choice and ownership, the student was supported that idea with specifics that were significant to him.
The student’s organization followed a clear formula. An introduction included the name of the favorite place and three reasons that location was a favorite place. The subsequent paragraphs included three support paragraphs, which included separately those three reasons the location was a favorite location. Finally, the author closed the essay with a concluding paragraph which summed up the reasons the old school was a favorite location. Transitions
seemed less apparent. While the author started each paragraph with “The first thing … “ or “In addition,” the ending of paragraphs did not have conclusions or summaries.
While the subject matter seemed highly personal – a favorite place – the author did not make a deep, personal connection to the location as it was described. The teachers were described most personally, as the author wrote that he liked the teachers and the teachers got
“mad when someone does something bad.” As this favorite place was the school this student attended last year, a reader might expect the author to say that he missed the school or make another emotional, personal connection with the school. This author did not. A playful tone was apparent in colloquialisms such as “Oh yeah!” and “I challenge you to think of a superior place than mine.”
In this piece, the writer used adequate words including “happiness”, “mad,” and “huge trees.” The language used was accurate and communicates the author’s ideas appropriately.
The language was functional and correctly used. Striking or lively verbs were not observed. In fact, most sentences contained is/are/has as verbs. Nor were specific nouns used by the writer.
Teachers were described as being “nice” but what the author considered to be “nice” would be a valuable detail for the reader. Additionally, the playground was described as “huge.”
Interestingly, the “huge trees” were described as “bigger than a 2 story building.” Additional descriptions such as these could have helped the reader further picture the school and its community. While it is unknown if this student is an English Language Learner, he does speak another language at home. It is uncertain if this may contribute to some of the more basic word choices.
Regarding sentence fluency, the sentence beginnings varied. The length of sentences was generally the same. Sentences appeared to be complete and constructed correctly. In the support paragraphs, the writing lacked cadence and creativity. In contrast, the final
paragraph’s directness seemed out of place. “Obviously you can see why my old school is my favorite place” and “I challenge you …” did not seem to be for the same piece as “In addition, the playgrounds are also my favorite.” It was difficult to determine if the last paragraph was one that was written with assistance, or if the author intended to give the piece a snappy wrap up.
The conventions of this “favorite place” piece were mechanically correct. Spelling and punctuation were used correctly. Appropriate words were capitalized. Grammar was not problematic. Separate paragraphs were also used correctly. Several exclamation points were used and while used correctly, these may need to be reconsidered as they add to a more cliché tone to the piece.
In the writing sample provided, the student’s spelling was all correct. In the spelling assessment from the beginning of the quarter, the student appeared to be in the middle to late within word pattern stage. He spelled “train” correctly, but spelled “spoil” as “spole,” and
“float” as “flate.” Looking at Fox’s explanation of the VV Vowel Team (p. 141,) the words most difficult for this student appeared to come from the VV pattern. As in the examples, these included “oa” and “oi” adjacent vowel patterns.” Based on the lack of errors in the writing sample, the pages provided may not have been first drafts. Therefore the spelling in the writing piece may not provide an accurate view of the student’s spelling.
This student, in speaking of another writing piece, felt that he did a “bad job” because he “mostly got 2’s.” Though his piece was considered to be meeting expectations, he was not satisfied with his scores. In our conversation, he was engaged in talking about writing and said that he used video games as a basis for his story. His descriptions were very action focused and the video games served as a motivation for his writing. He definitely identified with a more action-oriented writing genre.
In the writing conference, the student will work with the teacher on use of similes to provide descriptive text. The student was able to provide similar description, stating that the trees were “bigger than a 2 story building.” Building on these types of observations, the concept of simile and expanding descriptive text should be accessible to this student.
Additionally, the student is familiar with the revision process and a one on one conference can only reinforce his revision skills, which are key to grade level expectations.
Reflection
In using the 6 Traits assessment system, I was better able to evaluate the writing piece objectively. The specific criteria made the qualities I was looking for clear. Previously, in looking at student writing, the idea of what is “on grade level” and what is “above grade level”
was so hard to discern. The 6 Traits cleared that up for me. Not only could I have a greater idea of what organization meant, but also have specific ideas of what each piece of the trait would look like in a student paper.
I have graded student work, but without the 6 Traits, I have just been comparing the student work and conversing with my Cooperating Teacher. While I feel like I have learned a lot from this experience and from our conferences, I also appreciate the idea of something tangible
to fall back on when grading student work. Sometimes we provide rubrics, other times we do not. In the past, I have had mixed feelings about providing a rubric for students. While it is essential that they know on what expectations they are being graded, I have also been fearful that students can write to the rubric, disallowing for creativity and genuine writing. The 6 Traits as a rubric clearly defines the expectations without explicitly spelling out what a student should write. Instead, the 6 Traits give guidelines for what solid writing looks like.
In our discussions on the 6 Traits, I also came to realize that we do not need to provide students with a laundry list of what all could be improved upon in their writing. While we certainly should assess every area of their writing and provide them with that feedback, we do not need to give them a large number of things to edit every time. I really like the idea of focusing in on what needs work first. While voice is an important trait, without organization, it will not greatly improve a piece. In being able to conference one-on-one with students, as we did with our buddies, we can really customize what students are working on and where their writing should go next.
The Spelling Development Assessment really helped me understand where my buddy’s spelling was on the trajectory. In just looking at spelling errors or words, it was hard to tell which words were reasonable for him to be able to spell accurately. There were words that were out of his grasp, but the Assessment helped greatly in clarifying which those were. I found the Assessment to be most useful with the Fox text. When we first learned of VV and other patterns, I understood what they were but only when pairing that knowledge with the Assessment did it clarify the spelling trajectory. In the future, I think I would use this tool as
well as the Fox text together, so that I could fully assess and understand a student’s spelling ability.
Prior to this class, I had not experienced writing or reading conferences with a student.
In reading Routman, I definitely saw the value of one-on-one conferences, but like many of her ideas, I was unsure on how to implement it in the classroom. Until I had experienced this type of conference, I really didn’t see how truly valuable it could be. In conferencing with my buddy, we were able to achieve so much in the half hour, to the point where the time almost seemed long. Realizing that this time was a luxury and I would most likely not have a half hour with each of my 27 students, I did come to understand that I could achieve so much in even smaller chunks of time.
During the conferences, we talked about his independent reading book, performed an assessment, talked about writing, and I feel like I had the opportunity to really know my buddy.
If I were able to have just ten minute conferences with my students on an on-going basis, that could be such a powerful aspect of my classroom. I could truly know each student and where he or she was as writers and readers. Routman sold me on the concept, but in practicing the conferencing, I feel like it is something that is truly doable in my classroom. It is my hope that I can take each of these practices – conferencing, spelling assessment, and the 6 Traits – into my classroom to make it a richer environment for readers and writers.
