Topic: It is not right for parents to spank their children
as a disciplinary method.
By: Elizabeth Stella Alverina BH4 Group 2
0302621
Spanking has always been one of the most controversial topics of discipline methods that parents do to their children. Some people said it is okay for parents to spank their children to teach them how to behave rightly, while some others said that it is wrong for parents to spank their children, as it could also be categorized as physical punishments and shouldn’t be allowed. The old phrase that said “spare the rod, spoil the child” is one of the beginnings of spanking. However, spanking is still not the right discipline method to use to children because spanking does not solve problems and teach children to behave rightly, instead it may turn the children into hitters themselves in the future (Hunt J, 2012). Therefore, parents are advised to look and know more about spanking itself before they come to the conclusion of using spanking as their disciplinary method.
“Spare the rod, spoil the child” is a phrase that came from King James Version of the Bible, Book of Proverbs, 13:24 that sounds “He that spare his rod hate his son: but he that love him chasten him betimes.” The phrase simply means if one does not discipline a child, he or she will never learn obedience and good manners. Because of this phrase, for many years and centuries, parents had been spanking their children in order to discipline
them. Nowadays, people who believe in spanking as one of the most efficient methods of disciplinary towards children are divided into two sides. One side assumes that spanking means “slapping a child on the buttocks” (Straus, 1995, p.5 in Dawn Ramsburg’s Debate Over Spanking, 2012) while other considers spanking as a term for any corporal punishment that does not cause any injury to the children, such as slapping their hands if they are touching something forbidden or dangerous. (Ramsburg, 2012). Children itself is an age range between birth and puberty which means around age of 3-10 years old. According to Clifton P. Flynn, the study shows that most parents are likely to spank 3-8 years old children rather than older ones (11-12 years old) since usually parents find children to be more mature and understanding after the age of 10. However, The spanking for every child are all different depending on the cases and parents themselves.
One of the reasons why people agree that it is okay for parents to spank their children is because many parents think spanking will teach children not to do things that are forbidden, stop them quickly when they are being annoying, and encourage them to do what they should have done (Leach, 1996 in Ramsburg’s Debate Over Spanking, 2012). While some parents think that this reason makes sense, actually that action is wrong because usually when the children do something wrong, they are either not know how to do it properly or are in unstable condition like wanting to get more attention for their parents. If the parents spank them for doing something wrong, it is not going to teach them the right way, but instead the children would feel humiliated by their own parents. If this keep being done for several times, it would make children to feel anxiety and depression over their own
parents. According to Psychologist Sandra A. Graham-Bermann of the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor, the group of 15 experts in child development and psychology found the cause and effect relation between physical punishment and an increase in childhood anxiety and depression, an increase in behavioral problems such as aggression and impaired cognitive development6.
Other reason while parents spank their children is because many parents think that nonphysical and gentler forms of discipline, like time-out and restriction of privileges do not work. However, Psychologist Robert E. Larzelere of Oklahoma State University argued that in the few studies that have compared spanking with other forms of punishment, such as restriction of privileges, grounding and time-outs, spanking and those forms of punishment are resulting in similar negative effects on children (Shrock, Karen, 2010). Regarding this issue, I personally think that other forms of punishment such as restriction of privileges would make children think more in what mistakes they have done and would teach them more lessons rather than them being spanked.
Besides those reasons that parents decided to do spanking as their disciplinary method towards their children, parents do spanking because of the old phrase “spare the rod spoil the child” that is stated in the bible. Currently, parents are allowed by law to mete out "reasonable chastisement'' on their children, providing smacking that does not leave a mark or bruise. These limits were clarified in the 2004 Children’s Act8. Due to this reason,
parents often said that they spank their children as their way to express their love and affection towards children in a stricter way and also teach them not
to be clingy and prepare them to be mature and able to face difficulties that they must encounter in the future. For this statement, I think it is completely wrong since children between ages 3-8 years old are still too young to understand why parents spank them. It is not going to help solve the issue, but instead children would think that hitting is an acceptable way to solve problems, and that it is all right for a big person to strike a smaller one. It is a very difficult message for any adult or child to understand: "I hurt you because I don't want you hurt." (Ramsburg, 2012). Usually, spanking would make children think how to not get caught next time rather than not to repeat the same mistakes again. Besides that, regarding the bible issue, God never said that it is the only way for parents to show their affection and discipline their children. Even Ephesians 6:1-4 proverbs in bible said, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” 10. According to this proverbs and link it to the
spanking action, when parents spank their children, there is a high possibility for children to be angry to their parents and tend to do the same mistakes again and again in order to make their parents feel irritated. This would lead to the problem being repeated over and over again without any solving and conclusion, and would make the bond between parents and their children got worse. Besides, children are still people and they have the same rights as parents to reject being spanked and being over-controlled by their own parents.
In summary, spanking as disciplinary method to make children behave rightly should not be done because it is proven to be ineffective since it would increase childhood anxiety, depression and behavioral problems, has the
same negative effects as other forms of discipline like time outs, grounding or restriction of privileges, and it does not solve problems at all, instead it would teach children to be a hitter and think that hitting could solve problems which will be resulting in the children to have bad behaviors and manners in the future. Therefore, spanking is not the effective method for parents to discipline their children, and parents should think over about other efficient methods that they could use in teaching and discipline their children to make them a good and proper person as adults in their future lives.
References:
o Hunt, Jan.2012.Ten reasons not to hit your kids. [online] Available
at:<http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/tenreasons.html> [Accessed 23rd May 2012].
o Ramsburg, Dawn. 2012. The Debate over Spanking [online] Available at:
<http://www.vegsource.com/articles/guest24.htm> [Accessed 23rd May 2012]
o Flynn, Clifton P. 1998. To Spank or Not To Spank: The Effect of Situation and Age of
Child on Support for Corporal Punishment. Journal of Family Violence. Vol. 13, No.1. [e-journal] Abstract only. Available through: <
http://www.springerlink.com/content/p440144544308341/> [Accessed 23rd May 2012].
o Shrock, Karen. 2010. Should parents spank their kids? [online] Available at: <
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=to-spank-or-not-to-spank>
[Accessed 23rd May 2012]
o Wardrop, Murray. 2010. Smacked children more successful later in life, study
finds. [online] Available at:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6926823/Smacked-children-more-successful-later-in-life-study-finds.html [Accessed 23rd May 2012]
o Kummer, Tony. 2007. Bible Verses About Parents, Children, Mothers & Fathers.
[online] Available at: <
