NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programming

A CRITICAL INTRODUCTION

Neuro-linguistic Programming is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy. It’s also a bunch of lies and a bag of horseshit.

Pseudoscience

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”

NLP is a bunch of claims, claims piled on top of even more claims. The core principles have poor to no support at all. And if the core is poorly supported then you can safely ignore everything based on them.

It exhibitspseudoscientifictitle,concepts and terminology. “Neuro" in NLP is fraudulent since it offers no explanation at a neuronal level. They misuse formal logic and mathematics, redefine and/or misunderstand terms from linguistics, create a scientific façade by needlessly complicating concepts. They rename already existing terms and methodologies from other disciplines just so they can patent them. Their jargon is intended to impress, obfuscate and give the false impression that NLP is a scientific discipline. A field that studies good

communication uses confusing jargon.

NLP is not really a cohesive approach to anything but a mixture of different techniques without a clear theoretical basis.

The founders, Bandler and Grinder, have stated on various occasions: “we aren't interested in the ‘truth’ but only in what works”. Unfortunately for them, it has yet to be empirically demonstrated that their approach works. They postulate that there is no veridical relationship between reality and perception yet on the other hand they offer only personal testimony— something which according to their own theoretical position is unreliable—in support of their theory.

The way to settle the matter is by appeal to objective, scientific evidence and on that front the conclusion is clear. Far from cynical, the scientific community is happy to listen to evidence that is more than mere anecdote—the plural of anecdote is NOT data.

Flawed beginnings

“Bandler and Grinder had me down to a nutshell unfortunately they only had the shell and not the nut.” – Milton Erickson

The founders set out to study ‘geniuses’ to discover the ‘structure’ behind their ingenuity. Few know that the people they cite as influences DID NOT collaborate with them. Bandler and Grinder's reference to such experts is namedropping, they were John Does taking advantage of someone else's success. The books that laid the foundations for NLP are poorly written works that were an overambitious, pretentious effort to reduce mastery in different fields to “magic words”.

When you look at NLP, you see a bunch of sneaky tricks. The techniques themselves might not be flawed, but they are lacking a crucial element. What really made the genius therapist’s techniques work was the sheer emotional power behind everything they did. The intense, powerful energy with which he/she was determined to help his clients unleashed the full power of his unconscious resources, and was expressed in the ‘techniques’ that they later ripped off. NLP invented nothing (or maybe they did invent a whole bunch of things but from their contents the only ones worth learning are the ones not introduced by them).

Outdated

“The most telling commentary on NLP may be that in almost any book that has to do, at least tangentially, with enhancing human performance, all reference to Neuro-linguistic

Programming is omitted.”

It starts from insights that have been rendered obsolete decades ago. The nice thing about real science, as opposed to pseudoscience, is that the former eventually corrects its mistakes as new discoveries emerge. NLP remains mired in the past.

Presuppositions

The most “therapeutic” of NLP maxims “there is no failure, only feedback" is also the most questioned. The denial of the existence of failure diminishes its instructive value.

Unambiguous acknowledged personal failure serves as a motivation to great success. It is the “crash-and-burn type of failure”—not the “sanitized NLP Failure”, i.e. the failure-that-isn't really-failure sort of failure—that propels us to success. Adherence to the maxim leads to self-deprecation. Personal endeavor is a product of invested values and aspirations and the

dismissal of personally significant failure as mere feedback effectively denigrates what one values. Sometimes we need to accept and mourn the death of our dreams, not just casually dismiss them as inconsequential. NLP's reframe casts us into the role of a widower avoiding the pain of grief by leap-frogging into a rebound relationship with a younger woman, never pausing to say a proper goodbye to his dead wife. This maxim is narcissistic, self-centered and divorced from notions of moral responsibility.

The aphorism "you create your own reality" promotes an epistemologically relativistic perspective, the purpose of which is to gain immunity from scientific testing.

The Institution

After 150 students paid $1,000 each for a ten-day workshop in Santa Cruz, California, Bandler and Grinder gave up academic writing and produced popular books from seminar transcripts. This is how NLP went from being a serving of crap and became a mass-marketed serving of crap. Ironically, Bandler and Grinder feuded in the 1980s over trademark and theory disputes. Not one of their myriad of NLP models, pillars, and principles helped these founders to resolve their personal and professional conflicts. As a result of the dissolution there is no central regulating authority for NLP instruction and certification. There is no restriction on who can describe themselves as an NLP Master Practitioner or NLP Master Trainer and there are a multitude of certifying associations.

A cross between Scientology and a Pyramid Scheme, it gained popularity because it was promoted, like other pseudoscience, using a set of social influence tactics. These include making extraordinary claims (e.g. a one-session cure for anything), creating arationalization trapby obtaining incremental commitments from students (e.g. first lesson is free and subsequent courses increase in price), manufacturingcredibilityby creating a guru that is supposed to be the most qualified, creating a self-regulated body composed of those that have completed a course, and defining an enemy to facilitate in-group/out-group thinking and behavior.

The founders graduate NLP trainers and practitioners, who simply go on to churn out more practitioners—generally watered down versions of themselves—with exactly the same skillset and subset of NLP knowledge, along with the trainers’ own limitations and prejudices. New ideas and practices go from inception to application without taking a detour through the trials of experiment and review. It is not uncommon for a practitioner to get a new idea about how to approach counseling, they then start doing it in their practice, then write a book, teach seminars, create an institute, and before you know it there is a thriving infrastructure

dedicated to this new method. At some point after this process is already underway someone may bother to do some scientific studies, but by then it’s too late. There is already too much invested in the technique, and too many practitioners who “know” that it works because they have seen in work with their clients. This is the story of NLP.

If you still want to take a workshop of NLP, keep in mind that: It’s been largely argued that the self-help industry is the new religion of this century, albeit disguised. Beware of those who say that NLP changed their life and it is the only thing that works, they haven’t done a critical examination—they don’t want to see the other side of the coin. Courses in personal

development would make no sense without an unconscious that contains hidden resources and hidden knowledge of the self. The unconscious is the new God. God within us. If the law of gravity can be subject of scrutiny, why not the unconscious too?

WHAT IS NLP?

NLP is a model for effective communication, personal development, and psychotherapy based on the relationship of neurological processes, language and behavioral patterns. It is, “the art of changing another by changing yourself,” in other words, to shift your map so it articulates better with someone else’s map.

Whatever helps you communicate better with other people, will help you communicate better with yourself. Internal and external dialogues affect our emotions similarly. The quality of your internal dialogue is essential to your wellbeing, so it follows that it’s important not just to talk beautifully but to think beautifully.

Is NLP manipulation? Yes. It is manipulation, whether that manipulation is with or without integrity it’s up to you, but the outcome is effective communication.

Neuro: NLP is based on the idea that you experience the world through your senses and translate sensory information into thought processes, both conscious and unconscious. Thought processes activate the neurological system, which affects physiology, emotions, and behavior.

Linguistic: It refers to the way you use language to make sense of the world, capture and conceptualize experience, and communicate that experience to others.

Programming: It tackles the persistent patterns of behavior that you learn and then repeat. It addresses how you code or mentally represent your experiences. Your personal programming consists of your internal processes and strategies that you use to make decisions, solve problems, learn, evaluate, and get results.

Main components

Subjectivity: We experience the world subjectively thus we create subjective representations of our experience. These subjective representation of experience are constituted in terms of five senses and language. These subjective representations of experience have a discernible structure, a pattern. It is in this sense that NLP is sometimes defined as the study of the structure of subjective experience.

These sense-based subjective representations derive in behaviors. ‘Behavior’ includes verbal and non-verbal communication, incompetent, maladaptive or "pathological" behavior as well as effective or skillful behavior. Behavior (in self and others) can be modified by manipulating these sense-based subjective representations.

Consciousness: Consciousness is bifurcated into a conscious component and an unconscious component. Those subjective representations that occur outside of an individual's awareness comprise what is referred to as the "unconscious mind".

Without the unconscious mind we’d have to rethink every action before attempting to perform it, just as if it was the first time, even everyday actions such as walking or tying our shoes. Anything that becomes a habit it goes to the unconscious. Know the workings of your unconscious and you’ll control your destiny.

 The unconscious is quick it will give you the answers right away. Only the conscious mind that takes its time.

 The unconscious is listening at all times.

 Change, real change, happens in the unconscious.

 As much as 92% of our brain activity is unconscious and only an 18% corresponds to the conscious mind.

 The unconscious does not process negative statements (e.g., don’t say, “Don’t imagine a donkey wearing a tie,” if that’s what you intend. Rather, say “Imagine the president playing chess with a polar bear”)

Learning: NLP utilizes an imitative method of learning—termed modeling—to codify and

reproduce an exemplar's expertise in any domain. An important part of the codification process is a description of the sequence of the sensory/linguistic representations of the subjective experience of the exemplar during execution of the expertise.

PRESUPPOSITIONS

These principles are not to be taken as irrefutable absolute truths but rather as useful guidelines.

1. The map is not the territory 2. You cannot not communicate 3. There is no failure, only feedback

4. The meaning of your communication is the response you get 5. Behind every behavior there is a positive intention

6. People work perfectly

7. People make the best choice available to them with the resources they have at the time

8. A person is not his or her behavior

9. You can’t not think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it 10. The unconscious mind can’t tell reality from imagination

11. Every behavior is useful in some context

12. If what you’re doing is not working, try something else

13. The element in a system with the most flexibility has the most control 14. There are no resistant listeners, only inflexible communicators

15. People have all the resources they need to succeed and to achieve their desired outcomes

16. If a problem has a solution why do you worry? And if it doesn’t why do you worry? 17. Whether you think you can or you can’t you’re always right

18. Living is learning. We can’t stop learning

19. Mind and body are different expressions of the same one system 20.Always do what works

They are generalizations and not strictly true—at least, not all the time.

It's not that there is no such thing as failure, it's that it's almost always more useful to think of it as feedback rather than failure. And it's not that the meaning of communication really is the response you get, it's that it's more useful to take responsibility for being understood than disavow the responsibility and blame others for not understanding you.

The apt word is 'attitude'.

So, these statements are not facts or true beliefs as they are sometimes presented. They represent a suggested attitude to be taken — an attitude modelled from success and a provocation to think in a new way.

The one 'presupposition' that I think stands apart from the rest is the foundational one—"the map is not the territory". This is the one that does hold up as true.

SUBJECTIVE REALITY

To avoid being overwhelmed by the amount of information available in the objective reality, we filter that information by means of generalization, deletion and distortion. Our senses

constitute the biological filter, our beliefs and values are our social and cultural filter and our personality corresponds to our psychological filter.

REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS

Representational Systems refer to all distinctions human beings are able to make concerning our environment and our behavior that can be represented through the visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory senses.

Sensory Predicates

Predicates are words (verbs, adverbs, and adjectives) or expressions that refer to a certain representational system. To the listener, words don’t just describe reality, they create it.

Analogue

Auditory Digital

See Hear Feel Sense

Look Listen Touch Experience

View Sound Grasp Understand

Appear Make music Get a hold of Think

Show Harmonize Slip through Learn

Dawn Tune in/out Catch on Process

Reveal Be all ears Tap into Decide

Envision Rings a bell Make contact Motivate

Illuminate Silence Throw out Consider

Imagine Be heard Turn around Change

Clear Resonate Hard Perceive

Foggy Deaf Hang in there Sensitive

Focused Mellifluous Concrete Distinct

Hazy Dissonance Scrape Conceive

Crystal Question Get a handle Know

Picture Voice an opinion Solid Sense

Bright Screech Stress Experience

A digital predicate has no in-betweens, it admits only one of two polarities (1 or 0). An analogue submodality is one that exists on a sliding scale, it varies between two limits. Examples:

Visual: “I see what you mean”, “I’m looking forward to that” Auditory: “I hear what you say”, “That really resonates with me” Kinesthetic: “I feel you”, “I have a gut feeling about this”

SUBMODALITIES

Submodalities are the fine distinctions we make within each representational system. They characterize our experiences.

Changing a submodality can give us control over our internal experience. By changing a

characteristic, the whole changes, the meaning changes. When the meaning changes our state changes. When our state changes our response/behavior changes hence the results that we get change too.

Words don’t change people, experience does. So, when talking, don’t just talk; create an experience. You don't want people to imagine, visualize or picture what you're saying. You want them to hallucinate! Make sounds. Shout. Describe the feelings thoroughly. Mark the space with your gestures. Dramatize it, break the role and provoke other people to break the role themselves. Don't just explain, express.

Some submodality distinctions:

Visual: Brightness, size, color/black and white, shape, location, distance, contrast, focus, clarity, movement, speed, three-dimensional/flat, perspective, associated/disassociated, framed/panoramic, orientation, density, transparency.

Auditory: Pitch, tempo, volume, rhythm, duration, clarity, location, distance.

Kinesthetic: Pressure, location, frequency, texture, temperature, intensity, vibration.

REFRAMING

Every event has both content and context. Reframing is changing the meaning of an event by changing either its context or content—thus also changing our response to it.

Context reframing

Every behavior is useful in some situation. By thinking of a useful context, you can change your response to that behavior. Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with the stimulus—what actually happens—it’s the meaning that we’ve attributed to it that’s the problem. Ask yourself: “In what context could this be useful?”

Examples:

“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.” For humor purposes the author of this quote took something useful and answered the question: “In what context could this be useless?”

PARTNER: Why are you so tired?

PRACTITIONER: Do I look tired? That’s wonderful! It means that today was a productive day, that I pushed beyond my limits and that I’m going to have a good night’s sleep.

PARTNER: I can’t stand disorder and uncleanliness. It drives me mad!

PRACTITIONER: I see. Imagine your house for a moment. You go through the door, everything is clean and in its place: the windows are impeccable, the dishes have been washed, there are no TV’s on in the other rooms, the lights are on only where they’re needed, there’s no underwear on the sofa, the floor has been swept thoroughly… and you’re completely and absolutely alone.

Content reframing

All behavior has a positive intention. Whether we are aware or not, we don’t do anything without some underlying purpose. Our brain’s functioning is always to benefit us. Ask yourself: “In what way could this be positive?”

Examples:

“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.” For humor purposes the author of this quote took something seemingly positive and answered the question: “In what way could this be negative?”

THE MILTON MODEL

Downtime: I get inside of my map. I dream awake in my internal world, I’m focused on my imagination and my memories. My attention is either on the past or in the future.

Uptime: I get out of my map. I think and act vigilantly and I’m focused on the external world, on my surroundings, I’m focused on the here and now.

The Milton Model is the skillful and artful usage of vague or inaccurate language. The more inaccurate the more effort is required from the listener (he/she has to fill in the gaps), and therefore the more we elicit a downtime state. By using these patterns our message is skipped by the conscious mind and its objections and we appeal to the unconscious and emotions, one could say that we work with the heart rather than with the brain. The use of confusion makes these patterns difficult to respond to or resist.

I say nothing, yet you understand everything and you do what I suggested. The imprecise language can thrive in situations where the precise and correct language could fail. If I use accurate language I speak from my map. If I use inaccurate language I enter into the other person’s map.

Milton Patterns

Trans-derivational Search

This is the process of searching back through one's stored memories and mental

representations to find the reference experience from which a current meaning was derived. Vague suggestions are used to ensure that the practitioner does not intrude his own beliefs into the listener’s inner world. By making the listener’s mind work, as they enter inside themselves, we enter too at the same time. A Trans-derivational Search is a compelling, automatic and unconscious state of internal focus and processing triggered by language—humans will try to make sense out of sentences, even if they don’t really make sense.

Examples:

“Recall a time when you felt you had no worries” “This is like the first time you rode a bike” Ordinal Numbers

Whenever a sequence or order is assumed. Examples:

“There are 3 things I have to tell you: First…, Second… and in the third place…” False Dilemma

Giving the illusion of control over the decision to the listener (Undercover order) Examples:

“You can wash the dishes now or later.”

“Do you want to hear it now or within one hour?”

“I don’t want to tell you what to do, so you can either internalize these words now or when you’re ready.”

“You can do it now or when you want to turn your life around.”

“Do you want me to wrap it as a present or are you going to take it as it is?” Polar Opposites

When contrasting with the negative, the positive seems more appealing. Furthermore, phrases like, “I don’t care”, “it’s your choice”, “it doesn’t matter”, “it’s up to you”, etc. make the other person stop looking for sympathy, pity and compassion and start using the resources they already have to solve their own problems.

“I don’t care. Listen, you can choose a happy or an unhappy life.” “It’s up to you and no one else to choose between life and death.”

“You can keep fighting until you get your revenge, and surely end up destroying yourself in the process or you could choose to fly away from this confrontation and live a good life.”

Negative Command

Suggesting what you want to occur by stating what you don’t want to occur. This takes advantage of the fact that negatives are skipped by the unconscious.

Examples:

“Don’t think about me too much while you’re away.”

“Don’t buy my product until you’re sure it’s suited to your needs.” “Don’t decide right away.”

Mind-reading

The truth is attributed to me with no mention whatsoever as to how I learned that truth. Examples:

“I know you’re thinking…”

“I know this is not what you want…” Universal Quantifiers

These can be either explicit, as with using specific words such as: Never, always, no one, everyone, nothing, everything, etc. or they can also be implicit in which case they are harder to detect.

Examples:

“You’ll never be able to accomplish it.”

“No one can come out of this institution as a good person.” “Everybody lies”

“Every breath takes you deeper into trance” “Men are stubborn” (all men is implicit)

“Ecuadorians are so submissive and mediocre” (all Ecuadorians) Modal Operators

Examples:

“You have to show up.”

“You can’t drop out of school.”

“You should be polite and respectful.”

“You could, and probably should, remember this bit of information I’m about to say, because I can’t remember a time in which I couldn’t find this to be useful.”

Nominalizations

Verbs that have been turned into nouns. We assume we all know and agree on the meaning, when in actuality our experience is often very different from that of others; hence we work with the listener’s definition and we don’t even have to know it.

Examples:

“Communication is the foundation of a long-lasting relationship.” (Communication from communicate) (Relationship from relate)

“You may have noticed that hypnosis is easy. And all the insights you are having now can open your mind to great new understandings. These understandings may lead you to remarkable demonstration of all your new learning.”

Tag Questions

Short question added after an affirmation to lower resistance Examples:

“You’re in complete control of your actions right?” “…ok?” “…understood?” “…ready?” Unspecified Verbs

Verbs that don’t fully describe the action. Are you able to make a movie of the events inside your head? If not, you’re dealing with an unspecified verb.

Examples:

“My friend hurt me” vs. “My friend forgot our meeting / my friend punched me on the face / my friend stole my girlfriend”

Unspecified Nouns

When you don’t know who or what is performing the action. Examples:

“They said it was easy.” “No one listens to me.”

“People are scary and dangerous.” “It’s got to be done.”

“Just know that people do it all the time.” Comparative Deletions

Comparison made without reference to what it is comparing to. Examples:

“Sooner or later you’ll understand.”

“You might understand more than what you once thought.” Pacing Current Experience

Describing everything you notice about everything someone else does and perceive. Examples:

“As you sit next to me, breathing in and out, looking at me and listening to every word I say, you may notice that you’re progressively relaxing deeper and deeper…”

“As you hear the cars honking, the people talking in the background and your heart pumping blood slowly…”

Lost Performatives

A personal belief, but presented as though it’s a universal truth applicable to all circumstances. It’s not questioned as it would be the case with a personal opinion. Examples:

“Carbohydrates are an essential part of the human diet.” “If you want to lose weight don’t eat fats.”

“You reap what you sow.” “Goblins live in attics.” Colloquial Postulates

Phrases welded with actions. While the logical answer would be “yes” or “no”, we tend to respond by doing what is asked and it’s not seen as authoritarianism.

Examples:

“May I see your book?”

“Can you pay attention?” Cause and Effect

The first thing I say causes the second one. Rarely do we stop to think about the logical relationship between the parts mentioned.

Examples:

“If you rehearse 5 minutes per day, then you’ll be ready for the big day.” Complex Equivalence

Attributing the same value to two things. Examples:

“Reading every morning is peace and tranquility.”

“You’re here and understood everything, you’re the right person for the job.” “You’ve been working for hours, you must be tired.”

“You’re old, you don’t know how to deal with little kids.”

*Differentiating the ‘Cause and Effect’ pattern and the ‘Complex Equivalence’ pattern can seem difficult at first. However, the difference becomes obvious when we stop to consider the dimension of time, the cause is followed by the effect, whereas the equivalence occurs

simultaneously. Presuppositions

This is the linguistic equivalent of assumptions. Almost everything presupposes something else. Practically, maintaining a normal conversation, without assuming something, is close to

impossible. However, when used intentionally they can be very powerful. Rather than being a technique in itself, the use of presuppositions is a characteristic contained in other patterns. Examples:

“You are learning many things, I now invite you to take the theory and apply it with a real-life example.” (I assume that you have learned something)

“At least, you did your best.” (You didn’t accomplish your goal) “Mikaela fluttered her wings.” (Mikaela is a being that has wings) Analog Marking

Using a verbal or non-verbal cue to mark out—highlight—words in a sentence or mark out space. This marking can be a body language gesture or using voice tone, volume, speed, rhythm. This pattern works best when used at least three times.

“There is no need to relax and go into a trance just yet”. “Relax and go into a trance” could be marked with a hand gesture.

“My friend knows how to feel good about herself.” We can emphasize “feel good” by speaking slightly louder, slower or faster.

Yes-Set

The idea of the Yes-Set is to ask the prospect several questions that are easy to answer with a yes. As you ask each question, you encourage the prospect to answer yes by nodding your head gently. It is recommended to ask at least 3 or 4 questions before delivering our suggestion. The last statement is recognized as true for the unconscious mind as it was preceded by a series of

truths, a prediction is made.

Examples:

PRACTITIONER: You came here early, didn’t you? PARTNER: Yes.

PRACTITIONER: Did you bring your equipment? PARTNER: Yes.

PRACTITIONER: Do you think you have what it takes to go the extra mile today? PARTNER: Yes.

Anaphora

Repetition of a specific sequence of words to give them emphasis, they can also be accomplished by repeating a sound.

Examples:

“Your feet, your feet are now covered by socks. Your feet are in your shoes. And, it’s very important that you relax your feet now.”

Ericksonian Metaphors

Metaphors help us understand something in terms of something that belongs to another

universe. They help us comprehend the unknown in terms of something familiar. And they also give us a fresh perspective over a familiar situation or behavior.

In NLP, a “metaphor” encompasses similes, analogies, jokes, parables and stories. A story is arguably the most effective tool when it comes to inducing a downtime state by distracting the conscious mind.

Metaphors allow us to depersonalize, the storyteller stays out of the issue and easily bypasses the instinctive mechanisms of defense of the listener—resistance to foreign ideas (especially if the goal of those ideas is to change someone else). We avoid coming across as annoying

unsolicited advisors, metaphors don’t argue, they don’t try to convince; that’s why they don’t raise objections. Metaphors entertain. Metaphors are powerful in stimulating creativity inasmuch as they sow the seed of an idea, sometimes they help a latent idea to flourish, and sometimes they even give birth to innovations. Metaphors reveal our values and they teach us

how to follow those values. Neither the narrator, nor the story itself receive the credit for solving a problem, the person that had the problem attributes to himself or herself the whole idea, “it was his or her own the whole time”. One metaphor is susceptible to multiple

interpretations, hence it means something different for different people—solving many problems at once.

There are also instances in which trying to personalize can be our goal, when talking about an institution or an enterprise they might come across as abstract and without face. Since

metaphors use images, sounds and sensations they will materialize more effectively than abstract words such as: excellent, the best, truthful and sensitive. Ask yourself, if this

institution, for instance, was a car, what kind of car would it be? Which animal? Which brand? Which book? Which actor? Which movie or food?

People relate to stories, and metaphors, with extraordinary ease and from a very early age, because they require a sensorial, emotional processing rather than an abstract, intellectual. We see, hear and feel metaphors, they appeal to emotion that’s why we recall them with no effort. Metaphors attract attention. One could argue that we as human beings, naturally, have a sweet tooth for stories. How many times have you gone to a conference, and later realized that you can’t even remember the main topic, let alone the secondary ideas but a story told by the speaker is almost as vivid as it was the day of the conference?

A quick way to stimulate our creativity and generate a story or a metaphor is by using Metaphoric Cards of association. Creativity manifests when bounded by limits. Establish guidelines and respect them: Use only one word and one image, use only three images, use only three objects, etc.

*Everyday metaphors, trite, of well-known content and message will not appeal to the unconscious, they won’t bring any of the advantages above mentioned, and they will be no different than any other phrase in digital language.

Violation of Restrictions

The Listener puts the meaning. It’s illogical and unreal and it makes no sense that’s why the conscious mind skips it.

Examples:

“You’re as deaf as a chair.”

“A closed eye can see deeper than an open one.”

“Whether their young or old, trees always do the right thing.” Embedded Quote

The truth attributed to someone else—with no reference or very vague reference. Besides being very effective in de-personalizing the communication, it is also unquestionable. “As you know…”

“As you might recall…” “As you already know…”

“It’s been largely accepted that…” “It’s been confirmed that…”

“Scientific evidence suggests that…” “Physiologically it’s been proven that…” “Statistics say that…”

“With other groups this has worked wonders…” Examples:

“Once I was talking to a man much like you, he told me about a good friend of his named Simon. Simon was the kind of guy who was always reading and debating complex ideas with great thinkers. Unlike many people you and I know, Simon would refuse to state anything unless he was absolutely certain that it reflected his experience. He told this man that…” *You can embed a quote within a quote as many times as you want in order to induce a deeper downtime.

“A friend of mine told me once that he was in a seminar of Richard Bandler. In this seminar Bandler explained how Erickson used to say that one of his patients once told him that the best time for hypnosis is when you're willing to let go.”

Change of Referential Index

The referential index is the subject of a sentence. Switching the agent I'm referring to; for instance, going from first person to second person; engages the public so they invest emotionally in the story, moreover they start to make their own associations in their heads. A Change of Referential Index has a profound effect in your internal dialogue, when you change from “one” to “I”, you take responsibility for what you are going to say, and you feel

empowered, confident. Compare, “one has to always tell the truth, in order to live with no regrets,” with “I have to always tell the truth to live with no regrets.”

In a metaphor we use this to refer to someone else indirectly, bringing the focus to the character of a story. Then, we pace the client's problem by establishing behaviors and events between the characters in the story that are similar to those in the client's situation. We access resources for the client within the context of the story. And we lead by finishing the story in such a way that a sequence of events occurs in which the characters in the story resolve the conflict and achieve the desired outcome.

Real-life Examples of The Milton Model Patterns

“I know we’ve all heard at least once how dangerous it can be to cross the street without looking at both sides; but I also know that more than once you’ve done it. The decision is yours; you can have the control of your life or let someone else control it.”

“I know you’ll find more success than what you expect. I see more in you than what you see in yourself. I wonder what would happen if you knew that I care about you. How I’d love to have more time to share with you and show you how I feel every time I look at you.”

“As you know, there’s no one person that has the truth, or is there? I know you’ve asked this question to yourselves several times but that’s not the most important thing. The most important thing is what you do with this subjective conclusion you’ve inferred for yourselves. You can reflect on this idea now as you listen to me or when you feel ready.”

“Just lay back, relax, and let your unconscious listen. And you can relax more and more as you listen, can you not? You can just breathe deeply, letting each breath take you deeper and deeper down into complete relaxation. Or, If you like, you can just breathe in and as you exhale, let your body relax completely now. Now, you may, or may not have already noticed that your eyes are becoming heavier with each breath you take. So will they just close, now? Or will they just remain open long enough to flutter a few times first?”

“You know that at the end of our conversation, you will feel wide awake, wide aware, with your eyes open, smiling and feeling good for apparently no good reason.”

THE META MODEL

The processes which allow us to accomplish the most extraordinary and unique human

activities are the same processes which block our further growth if we mistake the model for the reality. We can identify three general mechanisms by which we do this: Generalization, Deletion, and Distortion—three ways in which the model which we create will differ from the thing it models.

When we process a stimulus for a certain time we get into an internal dialogue and the more we talk to ourselves the further away we are from the explicit stimulus itself. Our senses give us perceptions and then our mind turns them into conceptions.

We as human beings use our language in two ways. We use it first of all to represent our experience—we call this activity reasoning, thinking, fantasying, rehearsing, etc. Secondly, we use our language to communicate our model or representation of the world to each other—we call this talking, discussing, writing, lecturing, singing, etc.

Since language is a model of our world, a formal model of our language would be a model of our model of our world, or, simply, a Meta-model. In the same way we create the Deep

Structure of Language from the information filtered through our senses, we create the Surface Structure by generalizing, deleting and distorting the Deep Structure. We use the Meta-Model to recover information from the Deep Structure, in other words, we attempt to determine

where the Generalization-Deletion-Distortion process has occurred. We go from ambiguous to clear, from imprecise to precise. This is effectively the polar opposite of the Milton Model. The Meta-model has universal applicability—no matter what the subject or the content, the exchange between the client and the therapist will involve Surface Structures, and these Surface Structures are the material in which the Meta-model is designed to operate. The way a person represents reality internally, in terms of modalities and sub-modalities reflects his/her identity and personality. The quality of our internal dialogue directly affects our emotional states. “Picture a moment when you felt happy, relaxed, in peace, connected to the moment, without internal conflicts,” and the physiology of your body will follow. What you tell yourself and how you tell it can trigger different emotions e.g., “Goddamn it! This son of a bitch did it again!” vs. “This good person that has 1, 2, 3 positive qualities has made a

mistake.”

By using the Meta-Model you might find that when discussing someone else’s problem, the problem solves itself, apparently. Actually, the other person solves the problem by himself or herself. In fact, what’s happening is that the client creates new neuronal networks, stimulated by the questions of the therapist, which, in turn, contribute new meanings. The Meta-Model is a problem solving model.

*Always ask questions that reveal the deep structure, rather than obtaining answers that add up to the surface structure. Also, beware of saying something that presupposes that you bought into one idea in their surface structure.

Softeners

The Meta-Model is a double-edged source. Meta-Model questions without softeners can come across as offensive. Softeners are short phrases that you can put at the beginning of a question that make it more gentle and palatable. It sounds obvious but we forget it all the time: No one likes to lose face.

Socratic irony is an excellent resource to use as a softener, it is a means by which a questioner pretends to know less than a respondent, when actually he knows more. The dissimulation of ignorance as a means of confuting an adversary.

You can ask any question you like as long you meet these two requirements: Have a deep rapport and use softeners. This makes the difference between a ruthless, invasive

interrogation and a positive inquiry. Examples:

“I am wondering…” “I’d like to ask you…” “I’m curious to know…”

“What I’m wondering now is how you deduced that…” “This is new to me. Is it always like that?”

“Can you imagine for a moment what would happen if…”

Meta-Model Questions

*We never use “Why?” It adds more information from the surface structure rather than helping us retrieve specific details from the deep structure, it raises defensiveness, and it pressures the receiver to come up with justifications. Always rephrase it. For instance, instead of saying, “Why are you doing this?” try, “How do you feel about this that you’re doing and how do you think I feel about it?”

Mind Reading

Believing one knows the thoughts, feelings, intentions, meanings, motivations, or other internal processes of another person with no basis in reasonable, logical grounds for interpretation or direct, sensory observation.

Examples:

PARTNER: You are just trying to make me look foolish. PRACTITIONER: How do you know what I'm trying to do? PARTNER: You don’t appreciate me.

PRACTITIONER: How do you know I don’t appreciate you? PARTNER: Man, you look sad.

PRACTITIONER: What makes you think that? I think there’s something in you that makes you think that way, because I see myself normal. The real question is: what do you tell yourself and what do you think about yourself that makes you see me in that way? Do you need to see everyone else sad to feel happy about yourself? Even you having lived all those years as you in your body can’t always be right about what you feel. Why venture to assume what’s wrong with someone else?

Crystal Ball Gazing

Believing one knows an unknowable future for oneself or others. Examples:

PARTNER: I'll never find a man who loves me.

PRACTITIONER: Will you be surprised when he shows up? PARTNER: He'll always be an addict.

PRACTITIONER: How can you be sure? PARTNER: My future is dark and full of pain.

Lost Performatives

Value judgments made without specifying who is making the judgment. Examples:

PARTNER: It’s not good to criticize.

PRACTITIONER: Says who? How do you know it’s not good? According to whom? Cause and Effect

The implication or direct claim that one thing causes, or is caused by, another when there is no well-formed logical support or demonstrable, sensory-based evidence to support a causal connection.

Examples:

PARTNER: Look what you made me do!

PRACTITIONER: How exactly did I make you do that? PARTNER: Whenever you come along, our team loses! PRACTITIONER: So your team always wins when I’m absent? Complex Equivalence

Statements where complex situations, ideas, objects or their meanings are equated as synonymous.

Examples:

PARTNER: The boss has his door closed. He's planning to fire me.

PRACTITIONER: You mean every time your boss closes his door somebody gets fired? PARTNER: They're succeeding and I'm not. I just don't have what it takes.

PRACTITIONER: They're succeeding and I'm not. What specifically are they doing differently? PARTNER: Time is money and life sucks.

PRACTITIONER: What else is time? And is that all that life does? PARTNER: You’re always shouting, you care about nothing!

PRACTITIONER: In which ways does the way I shout mean that I don’t care about anything? Presuppositions

Statements in which some unstated element must be assumed (pre-supposed) to be true in order for the statement to make sense (to be true or false). That is, the surface structure of the statements (the specific words and their meanings) omit or obscure the deep structure of the statements (their underlying message or presupposed truths).

PARTNER: If my boss knew how hard I work, he wouldn’t make me work extra hours. PRACTITIONER: How do you know he doesn’t know? How do you know you work hard? Universal Quantifiers

Words that are absolute generalizations without a referential index. Examples:

PARTNER: You always wear that shirt.

PRACTITIONER: Always? So I never wear anything else? PARTNER: None of my efforts have ever succeeded. PRACTITIONER: Can you think of one that has? Modal Operators

Words which dictate or imply what is possible, right and/or necessary. Examples:

PARTNER: You have to get your act together. PRACTITIONER: What would happen if I wouldn’t? PARTNER: You should be a better cook.

PRACTITIONER: According to whom? Nominalizations

A process (verb) which has been converted to a thing or event (noun). A common nominalization is adding "-ing" to a verb to make it a noun.

Examples:

PARTNER: I have a hard time with decisions. PRACTITIONER: So that's what you've decided. PARTNER: That’s just the way life is.

PRACTITIONER: Life? What do you mean? All life? Which part of life? For whom? When? PARTNER: There’s no communication in here.

PRACTITIONER: Who’s not communicating with whom? PARTNER: Money can’t buy you happiness.

PRACTITIONER: What kind of happiness are talking about? PARTNER: I’m not being productive.

PRACTITIONER: What do you want to produce? Unspecified Verbs

Process words which are missing a complete description and verbs that are, to a greater or lesser degree, unspecified. Also, omitting the verb, or the object of the verb, or both.

Examples:

PARTNER: Don't force me to get angry with you again. PRACTITIONER: Force you how?

Unspecified Nouns

Vague nouns (or pronouns) which create confusion and ambiguity. Examples:

PARTNER: It’s time for you to face reality. PRACTITIONER: Whose reality?

Unspecified Adjectives

Adjectives the meanings of which are unspecified. Unspecified adjectives are a frequent indicator of interpretation rather than observation.

Examples:

PARTNER: I attract bad behavior. PRACTITIONER: Bad in what way? Unspecified Referential Index

A phrase which deletes who is doing the action. Using a general subject that doesn't refer to a specific person. Frequent words: a person, someone, people, they, one, we. Also,

generalizations which apply to classes or groups of individuals: "Americans, Catholics, Jews, managers, workers, men, women, etc."

Examples:

PARTNER: A wife should at least fix a man dinner. PRACTITIONER: Which wife are you talking about? PARTNER: People don’t like you.

PRACTITIONER: Which people? Comparative Deletions

Phrases and sentences which imply a comparison but delete the object on which the comparison is based, or which do not specify the basis of comparison.

Examples:

PARTNER: Even you can understand what I'm about to tell you. PRACTITIONER: Even? Compared to whom?

PARTNER: Do you think you could talk less and think more? PRACTITIONER: Talk less and think more than whom?

PARTNER: He’s the worst friend. PRACTITIONER: Worse than whom? False Dilemma

Statements or questions which engage one's attention on a consequence which presupposes something else. It creates an illusion of choice and directs attention to consider only the two possibilities mentioned.

Examples:

PARTNER: Either we win or lose.

PRACTITIONER: Could we win in one sense and lose in another? What would have to be true if we did neither?

PARTNER: Are you doing that on purpose or you can’t help it? PRACTITIONER: Are those my only two choices?

Tag Questions

A question added at the end of a statement, which changes the focus of the listener's attention to answering the tag question, away from the preceding statement.

Examples:

PARTNER: You always manage to turn the tables on me, don't you? PRACTITIONER: Is that what you believe?

PARTNER: You'll never learn, will you? PRACTITIONER: Is that today’s lesson?

PERSUASION ENGINEERING

We say our language is a language of influence if we install in such a way that the other person thinks he/she came up with the idea. I don’t convince you, you convince yourself.

The more you talk, the more you expose yourself to be attacked with your own words.

Anything and everything you say can and will be used against you. It works the other way too. The more the other person talks the more material you have to counter-attack. Let the other person do the talking for as long it takes them to expose their ideas. Listen attentively. Examples:

PARTNER: So you come here to help us with our drinking problem? PRACTITIONER: Yes

PARTNER: Do you drink? PRACTITIONER: Yes

PARTNER: Then, what do you plan to teach us? PRACTITIONER: Do you know psychotherapy?

PARTNER: No

PRACTITIONER: That's what I'm here to teach you.

PARTNER: I heard you’re dating a veterinarian. That’s great because they like dogs.

PRACTITIONER: Exactly how do you want me to respond to what you just said? What is the effect that you wanted it to have on me?

PARTNER: Stop being so negative!

PRACTITIONER: What do you think about yourself that makes you think that way? PARTNER: You look worried. What’s wrong?

PRACTITIONER: What do you tell yourself and what do you think about yourself that makes you see me in that way? Tell me from where you are saying what you're saying to understand what you're saying.

PARTNER: Hey you! What's your name?!

PRACTITIONER: What do you think my name is? PARTNER: A chip off the old block!

PRACTITIONER: Agreed. Although, life has taught me that chips can play an essential role in big projects.

PARTNER: I’ve got a professional camera. This is the real deal the other ones are just toys. PRACTITIONER: Sure that is a nice gadget, but we all learned a lot just playing with toys, didn’t we?

PARTNER: Did you manage to get a girlfriend after all these year? PRACTITIONER: No, but I have a boyfriend.

PARTNER: I’m depressed.

PRACTITIONER: Do they pay you for that? PARTNER: I feel like I’m in an abyss

PRACTITIONER: Nice! It means that you have your eyes more open now PARTNER: I can’t stand people gossiping!

PRACTITIONER: It is great that you can discover your own weaknesses and how they lead you. PARTNER: Is there any side-effect to this?

PRACTITIONER: I’m afraid there is one side-effect. Your orgasms will be 4 times more intense and will last longer. It’s also very contagious.

PARTNER: Love does not exist.

PRACTITIONER: You’re right. Love does not exist, so let’s build it together. PARTNER: Grown and single, homosexual for sure.

PRACTITIONER: Actually gay men marry quicker than straight men to dissimulate.

PARTNER: Oh my god, you’re not going to believe this. Erika just got divorced and she’s filing for a restraint order. What do you think they’re going to do with the kids?

*Don’t condemn, install. Don’t say, “You don’t understand me,” this is perceived as offensive. Instead, say, “I’d like you to understand me,” this makes the other person work because no one likes to lose face. Rather than saying, “What the heck are you doing?!” Try, “What do you expect to achieve with what you’re doing?”

Persuasion Patterns

Gratitude Debt Generator

Making people feel grateful to you for something that you didn’t do. Hence, they’ll feel compelled to return the favor by following your suggestion.

Examples:

“We wake up grateful every day. We say thanks! Indeed, we say thanks for the sun, for the sky. But we don’t stop to consider that this job allows us to have a worthy productive life with good health.”

Truth of Process

Overloading your speech with obvious, irrelevant truths. Notice that these are not lies, instead these are qualities inherent to the idea/thing we’re selling, but they’re presented as very special characteristics.

Examples:

“This is the best pencil. This pencil has no plutonium. A friend of mine used regular pencils for years and ended up dying of cancer. It’s up to you to take up the reins of your life and be responsible for your health.”

“If you buy this horse, which is not black, nor white either it can be used to play polo, to compete in races or to explore the world.”

“I promise you that when you buy the house that’s in the peace of the suburbs, your money will never again be used to pay the rent.”

Sell your Obligation as a Favor

We start by eliciting a positive state, then we continue by stating the reason why we would normally refrain from doing something, we explain the impediment. However, we assert very clearly that we choose to do otherwise because we appreciate the other person, or it’s a special occasion.

Examples:

“You know the passion of my life is connecting with people. And I’m just recovering from a cold and my voice is not the best, however, I will make an exception just for you.”

Wildcard Terminology

These are pseudo-sophisticated words or phrases that say nothing but seem to encompass everything.

Examples:

“I think what you have is an energetic block.”

“It’s clear that you find yourself in a bubble of doubt.”

“But it’s also important to understand that this speculative bleeding does not have to last forever.”

Facts Interpretation

We attempt to distort reality by adding events that didn’t happen. The first half is true, but not the second one. We start by eliciting a positive state. Using positive levering words we tell the first half of the story with true facts. For the second half, we maintain the same positive levering words used in the previous half but this time we make up the facts.

Examples:

“You know I appreciate you guys. You know I wouldn’t lie to you. Yesterday, I was watching the football game, people were angry because of the penalty kick, and so was I; but what I found shocking was that the mother of one of the players was in tears, remember?”

Adulation

We associate someone else with a positive state by contrasting with a negative state. If you’re going to compliment and don’t want it to sound like flattering, accompany it by a gradient of particularities, specificities.

Examples:

“You are the best client I’ve had. Unlike other people who just make you waste your time. You know what you want, you know how to get it, and you see investments where others see expense.”

Nested Loops

1. We start by telling a story (every story implies ‘morality’ and ‘didacticism,’ i.e. good/bad and learning), it’s recommended that we seek to provoke curiosity in the listener.

2. We stop the story halfway… 3. We nest the order—we install.

4. Then we close with the other half of the story.

It’s a good rule of thumb to use at least three stories—open three stories, nest the order and close them accordingly. The purpose of the story is to overload the conscious mind so that the listener goes into trance, they no longer are aware of time, this is a gap in their conscious life and this is also the perfect time to introduce the command. It’s of supreme importance to ease

the transitions between stories, especially at the heart of the intervention before and after the nested message.

When you don’t finish the story you elicit doubt and uncertainty in the listener, you create a need to have the story finished. It is processed as a threatening, stressful situation and so it calls for the listener’s attention. This is a window of opportunity where influence can happen. The effect of this technique resembles magic. The person on the other side just changes. You won’t get the sort of verbal feedback you’d get if you fixed their leaking faucet, they will just act accordingly with what you suggested. What you might hear from them is something along the lines of “I don’t know how but just talking to you solved my problem…” We call this phenomenon ‘sublimation’—going from one state to another without going through the in-between states (from A to C without going through B). They go from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence.

You can further reduce resistance by introducing a topic that has nothing to do with the story, preferably a taboo topic, right after finishing the nested loop. Now the audience’s attention is on the taboo, the message has already been installed and they didn't have time to stop and question it.

Semantic Density

Unless you’ve never heard it, a word will always mean something to you. The more meanings you can associate in the Deep Structure for a given word the denser it is considered—denser in meaning. The greater the semantic density, the deeper the trans-derivational search. As soon as you hear any word a trans-derivational search is initiated and no one is free from this automatic process. The listeners’ personal history will determine the associations made.

Words such as “father”, “mother”, “brother”, “family”, “friend” are semantically denser than “chair”, “spoon”, “meter”, etc.

Oxymoron

Creating a new concept through two opposed concepts. Examples:

“You are understanding and you're not understanding” “You're living and dying”

“Of course not” “Fight for peace”

“A little too complicated” “Half full”

“Living dead” “Virtual reality”

Truisms

Speaking obvious truths such as “walk with your feet,” “feel with your body,” “see with your eyes.”

Examples:

“Time only moves forward. Time is in a perpetual state of dynamism. Time never comes back. If, in the world, every 60 seconds a minute passes why try to get ahead of life?”

Confusion Pattern

This is a word play that breaks conscious patterns of the listener. Come up with two pairs of words of opposite meaning. Then, combine and interlace those four words in any way you want. Spoken to attentive listeners, a burden of constructing a meaning is placed upon them, and before they can reject it, another statement can be made to hold their attention.

Examples:

“How important it is to realize that we can be wrong while we work because resting in error is no wrong right.”

Interruption Pattern

Breaks the pattern and draws attention using a taboo word, followed by a prolonged pause. And finally you install a message relating it to the taboo word.

Examples:

“I know two things for sure about your lives: I know you’ve all done drugs and I know you used to wet the bed… what I do not know is in which order, but that is not important.”

Affirmative Meta Model

Make yourself the Meta-model questions and then communicate the answers. This makes the message more credible.

Examples:

“What does doing a correct interpretation implies? To what end should we be interested in a correct data interpretation? When would it be not so important to have correct interpretation? How do I know that there’s only one correct interpretation? How does it feel to derive an incorrect interpretation? Specifically, what are we referring to when we say “correct”

interpretation? Correct compared with what? Is it really necessary to interpret data after it has been collected? What would happen if I made an incorrect interpretation?”

Zooming in

1. Introducing globally

2. Zooming in on the topic: Everyone-me-you. 3. Install the core message

Examples:

“You see it on TV, you see it on the news, there’s a ton of books about it. Everyone wants to gain fulfillment by working at what they love. I too once believed that idea. You might have thought about it as well. But what they don’t tell you is that it needs to add value to someone else in order to thrive. Don’t believe me, process it and come up with your own answers.” Closing

We make decisions based mostly on emotions, not logic. We make decisions based on our gut feeling and use facts to substantiate our choice. So, rather than closing by asking: “What do you think?” ask a question about their emotions.

Examples:

“How do you feel about this?”

“At this point, how do you feel about where we’re headed?” “Now that we’ve gotten to this point, what’s on your mind?” “How comfortable are you with what we’ve discussed here?” Prescribing the symptom

This is a paradoxical intervention that involves prescribing the very symptom the client wants to resolve—reverse psychology. By choosing to manifest the symptom, they may recognize they can create it, and therefore have the power to stop or change it. If the client fears failure, the therapist will ask him to fail at something. If the client has a problem with procrastination they will be told to schedule their procrastination time every day on purpose. This technique is most effective for resistant clients. As clients always resist the prescription, by switching the prescription for the symptom, they end up resisting the symptom and overcoming it. People who by nature react against anything they perceive as a threat to their freedom are the best candidates for the technique of prescribing the symptom. Defiance becomes a tool.

Examples:

“Go ahead keep suffering for the next 20 years!” “Dump him! It’s your life!”

(MBTI) MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR

All of us develop preferences at an early age. The more we exercise these preferences— consciously or unconsciously—the more we rely on them with strength and confidence. In the end, these processes translate to functions in terms of: How we get energy, how we gather information, how we make decisions, and how we organize our world and life.

 Take it as a tool not as a life philosophy.

 MBTI does not measure aptitude; it simply indicates for one preference over another. In the same way that writing with the left hand is hard work for a right-hander, so people tend to find using their opposite psychological preferences more difficult, however, they can become more proficient (and therefore behaviorally flexible) with practice and development.

 MBTI measures ONLY preferences. Someone reporting a high score for extraversion over introversion cannot be correctly described as more extraverted: they simply have a clear preference.

 The dichotomies are not absolute, they exist in a continuum.

 Personality preferences are not permanent—they are a process.

 We'd rather use the term “Tendency of personality traits” or “Typological preference” rather than “personality”, which might convey a static meaning.

In this context, a genius is someone capable of adaptation and evolution. If I can turn on or off a personality trait, I adapt; if that gives me good results and I try to improve it, I evolve. In order to develop traits from the opposite personality type it is advisable to surround yourself by people who naturally possess it. Although generally, it could be better to strengthen what we are than trying to specialize in what we are not. Regardless of the approach, we can agree that the only detrimental zones are the extremes.

Energy Introversion (I) Extraversion (E) Information Sensing (S) Intuition (N) Decisions Thinking (T) Feeling (F) Lifestyle Judging (J) Perceiving (P)

Energy

 Recover energy by being alone

 Intense and passionate

 Reflexive, first they think then they act

 Deep and persistent

 They prefer to know more about what happens in their inner world than outside of it

 They struggle to meet new people, and the less, the better

 They are considered “good listeners”

 They might think the “E” are shallow Extraversion

 Recover energy by being among people

 Expansive and uncaring

 Active, first they act then they think

 Enthusiasts

 They prefer to know more about what happens in the outer world than in the inner world

 Open, easy to know

 They like to meet new people, and the more, the better

 They are considered “good speakers”

 They might think the “I” are cold and unfriendly

Information

Sensing

 Practical and realist

 Facts

 They look for satisfaction and experience

 They live in the real world

 They focus on tangible problems

 Literal speech

 Detail focused

 They focus either in the present or the past

 They might think the “N” are not practical enough Intuition

 Imaginative and dreamers

 Theory and abstraction

 They look for inspiration and insight

 They live in the world of possibilities and multiple meanings

 They focus on abstract, complex problems

 Elaborated speech

 Big Picture focused

 They focus in the future

 They might think the “S” have no vision

Decisions

Thinking

 True or false

 They like words such as: norm, principle, and analysis

 Objective and analytic

 Precise

 They evaluate logic consequences

 They decide in terms of the task at hand

 Justice over kindness

 They might unwarily hurt or bother others

 They desire to be recognized when the task has been completed and especially if the goals were surpassed

 They might think that the “F” take everything too personally Feeling

 Values-based decisions

 A continuum between two extremes

 They like words such as: good, bad, harmony, empathy, compassion

 Subjective

 Persuasive

 They evaluate the impact of human decisions

 They decide in terms of people

 Kindness over justice

 They think in terms of the necessities of other people

 They desire to be recognized during the process

 They might think that the “T” are insensitive

Lifestyle

Judging

 Planners and organizers

 Self-disciplined and resolved

 They define limits and work inside of those limits

 They struggle to be tolerant

 Arrive to conclusions

 They finish tasks

 Make decisions quickly with little information

 Foresee future scenarios

 They focus on what needs to be done ignoring surprises

 Hate to interrupt and ongoing project to focus in a more urgent one

 They think the “P” don’t plan Perceiving

 Flexible and spontaneous

 Curious and adaptable

 They ignore limits and work challenging them

 Receive information

 They begin tasks

 They delay decisions

 Adapt spontaneously

 They prefer ever-changing situations

 Multitask

 They think the “J” are too rigid

16 Personality Types

ISTJ ISFJ INFJ INTJ

ISTP ISFP INFP INTP

ESTP ESFP ENFP ENTP

ESTJ ESFJ ENFJ ENTJ

Usage

 In career choice, it help us to get a better understanding of ourselves and our preferences.

 In personal development, it allows us to have a clear view of our personality bias, so we can deduce our strengths and weaknesses. Thus, we can determine what breaks us and therefore what we should be wary about.

 It work environment, it aids us to improve our communication with bosses and co-workers. It can be used to build high performance groups with broad profiles. Groups of people of the same personality get results faster. However, mixed groups produce richer results.

 In relationships, it can serve to make a conscious decision to choose a partner. Knowing that being different wears out and being the same limits.

 In conflict resolution, it helps us to recognize the value in others and use individual differences in a constructive way. It teach us that tackling a problem from different standpoints is healthy and productive.

 In planning speeches or lectures, it broadens our perspective so our message caters to different types of people with different strengths, weaknesses, and needs.