Breeding Contempt

Rochester Institute of Technology

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Thesis/Dissertation Collections

2005

Breeding Contempt

Amanda C. Lee

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ROCHESTERINSTITUTE OFTECHNOLOGY

A Thesis Submittedto the_Facultyof

TheCollegeof_ImagingArtsandSciences

In_CandidacyfortheDegreeof

College of Imaging Arts and Sciences Rochester Institute of Technology

Title: Breeding Contempt

Submitted by: Amanda C. Lee Date: 5.1.05

Thesis Committee's Approval: Chief Advisor:

Associate Advisors:

BRVCE.

S()b~

RVJtK

Bruce Sodervick Signature

Print

Keith Howard Signature

2.

2:£fb.e

:5cderv

i~

Zerbe Sodervick Signature

Department Chairperson's Approval

Don Arday

(Signature of Department Chairperson) Date

Thesis Reproduction Permission Statement:

Date

Date

Date

I hereby grant to the Rochester Institute of Technology and its agents the non-exclusive license to archive and make accessible my thesis is whole or in part in all forms of media in perpetuity. I retain all other ownership rights to the copyright of the thesis. I also retain the right to use in future works all or part ofthis thesis.

Print Reproduction Permission Granted:

J, Amanda C. Lee, hereby grant permission to the Rochester Institute of Technology to reproduce my print thesis in whole or in part. Any reproduction will not be for commercial use or profit.

Amanda

C.

Breeding

AmandaLee

TableofContents

I. Introduction

II. Life Experiences ProvideaNarrative Base

III. The Sculpture Process

IV. Influence FromtheArt World

V. Conclusion

VI. _BodyofWork

Introduction

AsaMastersofFine Artscandidate_mywrittenthesiswilljournalizeandgive

creditto thecathartic processes inherentin mycreative work and experience. Muchlike

mypersonal individual_self,Ibreak_myartworkintocompartmentalized pieces sothatI

mightscrutinize_everydetail. In my lifethereisa constant pursuit of control and_clarity

to_helpdistinguishand give absolutenessto theartthatIcreate. This_bodyof work

demonstratesthe_pouringout of abundant_{pain, anger,}helplessnessand_deepconfusion.

ThesculptureIhavecreatedhastakenmuch ofthe_mysteryout of_myownfeelingsand

hasgiventhemconfirmation._Experiencingthewholeness oftheseveral parts and pieces

in both_mywork andin_myperson, hasurgedmetoexhibittheimportanceofindividual

uniquenessinart making.

Myproposedthesisstatement: _BreedingContemptisa_bodyofworkthat

intendstoinvestigatethe_breakingdownoftheinhibitedcreative spirit andtheelements

ofdysfunctionthatcontributeto themanifestationof a_{contemptuous,}individual sub

conscious. Howdoes _incubatingfreewill withgoodintentionsset_uprestrictions ofthe

creative conscious andpresentthe_opportunityforself-denial? _Myexplorationintothe

measurement of_identitywillconsist offindingavisuallanguagetoexpressthe

characteristics of_myown_identityachievement,disclosureand asceticism. _{The urgency}

tofindorder anddirectionintheuniquenessof_myownexperiencehasevolvedintoa

commitmentto_personifymyself throughartmaking. _{The necessity}torecognize

fundamentalplatformsthat_{birth my}growth_process,and_ultimatelytoemerge as an_artist,

LifeExperiences ProvideaNarrativeBase

Discoveringthevalue of_myownterrorsmeant_{releasing any}beliefsystems

longenoughto

_develop

fromtheunrealisticboundariesIwastoexistin has ledtoan outrageous_epiphanyof_my

own spirit. Inlife_{experiences, the}firstrecognition of your own spiritdeliversafreedom

thatbecomesmore precious than all else. Toknowthat thispotential realization exists

establishes a passiontopossessthatfreedomwithout_compromisingthe_integrityofthe

commitment. Ibelievethat thisexperienceisapplicableto_{everyindividual,}andperhaps

through thisinvestigationIwill provide a visceral experiencethatisnot_confusing,but

insteadwilldescribea_journeyof maturation andthesignificance of_personifyinglife

through art making.

Punishment,protectionandpreservation arethethree elementsofdysfunction

thatIincorporatedthroughout this_bodyofwork. Iinsistthat_theyare administered at an

earlyage,and are nursedthoughexistence_byour own will. Thesuggested paradigm of

the_familysystem_immediatelyestablishes an unrealistichabitationand punitivefantasy.

Theinitialguidelines ofbehaviorand roles inchildhood materializeintoa perpetual cycle

of_{self-loathing}andfearthatis_{suffocating to the}spirit. Thesamefearcreates an_urgency

toprotect one's selffrom lifeanduncertainty. Inthatprocessthereisadangerous

element ofpreservationthatprovides comfortanda sense of control. _{Byexpressingmy}

individualfearsthroughconceptsthataddress_{entrapment,abandonment,}isolationand

Feminist Eroticawriter_KathyAckerwroteThereisa_wayinwhichyou_play

with what you mostfearinordertolearn howtodealwithit; _{In searching}for

explanations_regardingtheinhabitedspirit,I'vegrowntorespectthis_thinkingasakindof

anthem. Withouttheconfrontationof_myindividual_fears,Irisk

_losing

resourcesIhaveas an art maker. Withacknowledgment oftherealisticdynamicsthat

makes me who I_am,Iam capable of_drawingupon resourcesfromthepast and present

thatcanbe isolatedandinsular fromtheoriginal people and situations. _KathyAckeralso

spoke outonthedefinitionoftheword safe. Themotivation amplifiedinthecontext of

thiswordisonethatIoften referencein mywork. The_dualityofprotectionand

preservationbecomes_horriblymisconstruedintowhatAcker describes_as,

Submissive women, hiding in houses and marriages _following societies

rules(doasyou'retoldanddon't_stepout ofthe_{lines) internalizing}certain norms or _{actively searching for} who to _be, without _recognizing that the mystery of who to be lies within ones own _feeling of _identity and pleasure.2

Enteringintoexistencethrough_physicalityistheinitialchoice made_byour

parents. Ibelievethat_{entering into}existence onthepersonal,psychological and

consciouslevel isdeterminedbytheindividualthroughevolution and experience. Hope

Edelman, a nonfictionauthor writesthattherearejusttwobasic humanmotivators:

desireandfear. _Everydecisionwemake,everyactionwe_take,springsfromthisdivided

1

v.vale. AngryWomen (JunoBooks,

1st

edition _{1992)pg 38}

2

v.vale. _AngryWomen (JunoBooks,

1st

well/

Thedivision betweendesireandfear is blurredand often programmed against

us_bythosewho we aredesignedatbirthto trustandform bondswith.Thesefirst

connections are our parents. ThisiswhereI,at an_earlyagebegan_{transformingfantasy}

intoenvironmentsthatIcould control. Istill operatebetween_realityand_myfantasies

whichbecome _{dangerouslyconfusing}anddestructive. _However,theprocess of art

makingdemands specificmaintenancethat allowsboththereal andthedreamtoco-exist.

Iwas fouryears old when_mymotherdecidedtoimmerse usintheBaptist

world,solicited_bythefearof eternalburning.4 Theoptions as a child werelimitedtothe

references of_mychildish experience. _NaturallyItrusted_mymotherandbelievedthatI

wouldbe_eternallypunishedifI didnot recite and_obeytheguidelines oftheBaptist

Doctrine. Iexchanged_myspiritfora contractthatreserved_mya seat attherighthandof

God,protected_myeternal_security,andconfirmed_mydestinyas servantto thechurch.

Thisreligious obediencewouldalso_{be my}firstof several memories

referencingthedynamicsof_safetyandterror. _Mymother wasour a_guide,responsible

and accountablefornot_{only her behavior}butforthedecisionsofherchildren. Our

delusionwasthe_horrifyinganddestructiveequationof perfection and salvation. Ibegan

tofight_myownhumanness,uniqueness, andlimited_myexpressivenessthose_early

childhoodyears.This later becamean_agonizingpatterntobreak. Theurgetoshutdown

andtosettleinto_complacencyfrightenedmeenoughtodecodethe sourceof_my

dysfunctionandobtainthehumanrightto_myown creativefreedom. Thisfreedom from

3

Hanauer,Cathi. The BitchinThe House(HarperCollins,2002)pg 178

4

fear,manipulation and abusivenesssuffocatedand challengedthe_verynature and

preciousness of_mypersona. _Mymother,aformerpageant_{queen,honestly}believedthat

she was _protectingme. Ibelieveshecould notsee pastthedecisionsshe was_making

becauseofherownfearsandconfusion. Icreated artworktodepictthisaspect of_my

relationshipwithher,and entitledthesculptureMissGuided.

AmandaLee,Miss Guided. 2003.

Steel,Muslin,Plastic. 42 in.x34 in.x18 in.

MissGuidedisembroidered on awhite_banner, suspended on a_clothesline,

insidea weldedsteelcage42in. x34 in.x 1 8 in. Oneeighthinchrod was usedinthe

construction ofthecage. Thepageant queenisa_screamingmuslin_bird,dyedand

bruised. Thebird is_wearinglongfalseeyelashes and a rhinestonetiara.

After mymotherjoinedtheBaptistchurch,myfather,a quiet and_angryatheist

tookhis businesscareerto_Cairo,Egyptand married_mystep-mother. Thisabandonment

leftme atthe_mercyof_myown _imaginaryshame and confusion. Thechurchtookus_in,

providinguswith a_house, car, groceries,hand-me-downclothes as well as special

attention_bytheseveral pastors. This focused interestcameintheformofthree tofour

onehour counselingsessionsandhousecalls severaltimesa week. _{While my}mother

nurseryattendants. Thesecaretakerswouldcagefouryear old girlsinconvenient cribs

thatwere crafted rightintothewalls. Thecontained spaces_clearlysuggested akennel like

restraint.

ThesculptureAdapts_Nicelyreferstothereligious caretakers andtheir

contrived_generositythat_theyoffered.

AmandaLee,Adapts Nicely. 2003

Resin,acrylic,bible_{parchment, plastic,}foundobject.

60 in.x18in.X 72in.

Thesculpture standsbetweenaniron clothing_rack,it_was, in_fact,the_clothing

rackthatwaskept inthe churchbasementand givento_mymotherforher_laundryroom.

Thisgift was thenhandeddowntome. Atwelvepane windowhangs inthecenter of the

work andhasthetitleAdapts_Nicelyspelledout ontheglass panes. Inexttook twelve

pagesfromtheNew Testamentanddrewcaricaturesthatreferenced ourtragichome

existence on each paper sheet. These drawingswereofdead_babybirds,humping

bunnies,and a well endowedfemalelambabouttobutcheredon an_offeringplate. I

burnedtheedges of each_{page, then}I firstsealedthemin beeswaxand_finallyinclear

castingresin. Thesculpture stands65in. x24in.x 72in.and_ironicallyis_mymother's

favoritepieceinstalledin mythesisexhibitionattheBevier_Gallery,Rochester Institute

ofTechnology.

discharged fromtheGirl Scouts (Thisoccurredbecauseof_mydestructive behaviorand

inabilityto_playwell with others). Thiswasthesummerthat_myfatherretimedfrom

Egypt. Hesettledin Minnesotawithhis former_secretary,now_mynew_step-mom,and

hertwosons. At myfather's_request,myolder sister andIspentfiveweeks withhimand

his_familyattheirhomein Alexandria. _Myfatherwas_runninga resortthatkept him_busy

most ofthe time. Ispentthatsummer_beingentertained and educated_{bymytwo,newly}

inherited brothers. _{I quickly}recognizedthatIhad beenplacedina situationwhere_my

sexualityseparated anddefined_myappealto the_boys,Ihad littleprotection,feared

confrontation, andIwas_desperatelyinneed of attention.

Pamela_Spring,an educatorfor Planned_Parenthood, wrotean_essayon

cultivatinga reputationfor_beingpromiscuous after sexual abuse at an_early

age.5

SimilarlyI willinglyparticipated inthecontinuous explorations of_myunderdeveloped

body. Atthe timeithadmade mefeelmore_{adult, rebellious,}incontroland powerful.

Whenothersdiscoveredour_{activities,however,}theattentionshiftedforevertoallforms

of shame and contempt. In Spring'sessay,sheenforcesthesame_{contrasting feelings I}

experienced.

After that (the sexual abuse from a _babysitter) I started to become

promiscuous, thoughitwasn't conscious ordeliberate. Itwas _{something I}

didbecause I feltIwassupposedto. It happened inpartas aresult ofthe

abuse,butobviouslyIdidn'trealizeitatthe time.6

I builttwosculpturesthatinterpret thisexperience. Thefirstwas artthatI

producedtitledJust LikeaDog. Thesculpturewasbuilt fromquarterinchsteel rod and

5

Tanenbaum,Leora. SLUT! GrowingUpFemalewith aBadReputation._{(HarperCollins,2000)pg 79} 6

welded _intoa26in.x 1 8in.x22in. cage. Insidethecagehangsa six-legged muslin_dog,

dyed_{pink,pointing}and_antagonizinga clothesline of_{perfectlyhung}little white

nightgownsthatopen_{only from}thebottom. Embroideredon each nightgown arethe

wordsJust Like aDog.

<*

AmandaLee,Just LikeaDog. 2003. Steel,muslin,plastic. 26 in.x18 in.x22in.

Theterror thatthiscombination ofelementsholdisrepeatedin thepiece

That's What Little Girls Are Made Of. Thewordsare separated and embroidered onto

starched,whiteswatches. The labeledclothis_hangingthroughanincubatorthatis

constructed of_glass,stormwindows.

AmandaLee,That's WhatLittleGirls Are Made Of. 2003. Glass,muslin,resin,plastic. 36 in.x33 in.x33in.

Ontheflooroftheincubatorliesasplayed,muslindollthatemulatestheformof a

dissected_frog,suckingherthumb. Incisionsare madeinthreedifferentplacesinthe

behavior disorders. Baitminnowspourout oftheincisionsand ontothefloorofthe

incubatorwherefiberglassresinsealsinthedoll in. The sculpture measures36in.x33

in.x33in

AtagenineIhadcreated an_imaginaryexistence outside of_myfamilysystem.

TherewasatightbalancethatItriedtomaintainbetween_myfantasyworld and_myreal

one, a world whereIwastobehave_accordingto thelawsof_myenvironment. Ithought

thatifIplayed_{appropriately in}theworldcontrolled_{bymyauthorities,}I could then_play

any way Idesired, in mymind's world. Itwas a complicated conditionthatIhad

developed inordertoprotect andcontrol_myindividualself. _{However,ultimately I}

confusedtheseparationof_fantasyand reality.Carl_Jungknewaboutthe_healingfunction

oftheimaginationashepursuedhisresearchon activeimagination.7Joan_Chodorow,

writes onhisinvestigations:

Jung experimented with specific meditative _procedures, various 'rites of

entry5

to engage withhis childhood fantasies these fantasiesseemedto

personify his fears and other powerful emotions. Over_time, he realized that when he managed to translate his emotions into _images, he was

inwardly calmed and reassured. He came to seethat histaskwas to find

theimagesthatareconcealedinthe

emotions.8

Iinvented storiesand explanationsthatoffered comfort and eased_myown

anxiousness. AlthoughIwas_consistentlyreprimandedfor_tellingelaborateliesand not

payingattention,Irecognizedthosepowerful experiencesand creative resourcesthat

were_exclusivelymine. Thiswasasmall pocketofinformationthatIchoseto

acknowledgeandprotect,fearing further isolation. I believethisbecamemyfirstchoice

7

Chodorow,Joan. JungonActiveImagination(PrincetonUniversityPress1997)pg1

8

towards_{autonomy later inmy}life. Isawhopeand pureness_{independently}in mystate of

existence, andIwas abletopreserveandhonorthese valuesin myadultlife. _{In memory}

ofthat_{experience, I}namedthesculpturethatrepresentsintuitionandfreedomBlind

Autonomy.

AmandaLee,BlindAutonomy. 2003. Muslin.

28 in.x5in.x18in.

She isa_headless,muslindollwith an exposed neck.Thearmatureis

suspendedfromstainless steel pulleysthatarefixedona_line,runningthelengthofthe

Collegeof_ImagingArtsandScience's galleryspace. Theinstallation isabeautiful

statementthatconfirmsthestrength of_{my insight}and_{my understanding}ofpersonal

power.

Withthelossof aconventionalchildhoodremainedthechallengeto_develop

into a_functioninghuman_beingstill existed. Therewas also_myobvious struggletoresist

thealternative choice ofsuicide. A lotof_time,energyand productionwaslostasI

reinvestedintheprocess of_collectingand_{reestablishing my}initialspirit. Ireferencethe

created gaps andholes inlost time,intoanassembled sculpture calledCapital Loss.

The_title, onceagainembroideredonasmall,white_nightgown,hangson a clothesline

thatissuspendedin foursmall,steelcages. Theseformsare stacked one on_topof each

embroidered onher_belly,alongwith a rose embroidered where a vagina would

anatomicallybe located. The sculptureCapitol Loss stands34inx 16in. x 18 in.

AmandaLee,Capitol Loss. 2003.

Steel,muslin,plastic.

34 in.x16 in.x18 in.

Feelingalone,rejected and_disgusted,Iwasdesperatetoholdontothechance

thatif Icould be_{small,fragile,} and_child-like,Icould alsobeprecious enoughtobe

protected. Thatfoolish logicwasthe_beginningof_myobsessionwithdietcontrol and

bodyimage. Iwas_livingondietpills, ephedrine,laxativesandipecac. _Mybulimiawas a

cathartic_{way for}metorelease_myangerand manage_mybody

size.9

Iwas so

dangerouslythinandmalnourishedthat_myskin_{turned yellow,}Iwas_becomingbald,and

myteethweregray. Ievenstarted_growingamoustache. Adangerousresult of this

behavioristhatItranslated thereactionsto_myappearance_byothers asameasureoftheir

loveand_mycontrol. _Prozac,three psychiatrists, four junior highschoolcounselors, and

myanxious mother confined_myexistencetothehousewherewelived. Allfreedoms

and choiceswere_{taken away}inadesperatemeanstomonitor_mybreathingandliving. I

was_prettycleverinthebeginning. I ducktapedwrenches andother_flat,heavytools

around_mywaistbefore Iwas_weighed, butthisbehaviorwas soondiscovered.

Mymotherthenbrought inother sources. Theappointment was a_weekly

invader,thepastorfrom _{the church,}as well as_mymother's prayer_group,comingto

exorcisethediet demonsout of me. Thispresented such a_terrifyingthreat to_my

boundariesthatIpanicked andwentintodietoverdrive. That ultimatelylandedme on a

gurneyat agefifteen. Thecombinationof starvation and_purginghadleft myelectrolytes

at an unreplenished_{level,ultimatelydamagingmy}heart.10

Becauseof_{myrelationship}with_{bodyconsciousness,}dresspatternshave

foreverappealedtome. Iwasattractedtotheir_{color,language,} directionsandfrailness.

For mythesisexhibitIconstructedadollout of_{vinyl,using dress}patterns andBible

pagestocoverthesurface. Thisdoll illustratedthecomponentsthatwere_creating

confusionin_myspirit andreflectedthedesiredsize of an eightyearold.

AmandaLee,Bedlamb. 2002. Dresspatterns, vinyl,fabric,acrylic,foundobject.

49 in.x10 in.x26in.

The_bodydetails included black,ravenfeatheredhair,_babybottlenipples,and

the_tipof apacifierfora_bellybutton. Thestrongestdetailonthedollwasthe_lullaby

stenciled ontoher facewiththewordhushcapitalizedandhighlighted. Idecidedtocall

her BedlambandI securelyrestrainedheronto an_ironingboardthatwas upholsteredin

brightwhitefabric. _Symbolicallythe_ironingboardwastransformedintoahospital

gurney, trimmedwith_lace,safetypinsandpearlbuttons. Thesculpturehangsonthewall and measures62in. x9in.x 1 8in. I believethatthesignificancethat the themeof changefrom realityto_fantasythatculminatedinthis powerful,_{comedy/tragedy}

referenced_mylifeexperiences and producedan_emotionallycharged artistic story. Like

manyartists_todaywho are_adoptingnarrative

approaches,11

Iwas_attemptingtonarrate

mymorepersonal stories.

The finalstagesin completingthisbodyofartworkfor_mythesisexhibition

involved_developinga_waytocreate_consistencybetweeneach sculpture. Iwas intenton

not_threateningtheindividualuniquenesswithin eachwork. _{Artistically,}itwasimportant

thatthecontextinwhichthework wouldbeviewed would notdiminishor contrivethe

creativescenarios. Thesolutionthatemerged unified_mywork and pushedtheconcept of entrapmentand suffocation_{by incubating}eachartworkinthinplastic sheets. Ifirst stitchedtheplastictotherods of_{the cages,}leavingholes of_{opportunity that}would symbolizetheprecious_feelingofhope. I designedplasticbagsstitched aroundthedolls of_{heads,covering}justenoughtopreserve,protectandpunish.

Intheobservations made_byDavid BaylesandTed_{Orland, making}artdepends

upon_noticingthings-things about_yourself,your_methods,your subject

matter.12

Formethissamecondition exists withimagesand expressiveinformationthatcreates

parallelsto individual humanexperiences. Understandingpersonal expressiveness comes

easilywhenit ispossibletoreachintothedeepestrecesses of your soul and access

11

http://www.tfaoi.com/aa/2aa/2aa670.htm 12

informationthatyour subconsciousprovides. Memoriesthatarehiddenand protected

delivera rich reservoir of creativemagic orpotential.Oncethatmagicis_birthed,theart

The Sculpture Process

Thereare a combination ofmaterialsthatIexperimented withandresearchedfor

mythesiswork. Thefirstapplicationsbeganwithwelded steel. I originallywas introducedto theartistic processesof_workingwithwelded steelwhenIwasan

undergraduate studentinMichigan. For my_{thesis work,}Iconcentrated onfurther research_{MIG welding (Metal InertGas)}or asitevenis calledGMAW(Gas Metal Arc Welding).

MIG weldinguses analuminum_alloywire as a combinedelectrode andfiller _(DC, EP). _Byusing a positive _{electrode, the} oxide layer is efficientlyremoved from the aluminum _surface, which is essential for avoidinglackoffusionand magnetic forces as small _{droplets, spray} transfer. Thisgives a_deeppenetration _capability ofthe process and

makesitpossibletoweldinallpositions.Itis important for the qualityoftheweldthat the_spraytransferisobtained.1

Iworkedwithbothsteel plate androd,and_finallyeliminated mostofthesteel

plate solutions. Isawthat toomuchsteel was_overpoweringsoIconcentrated on

minimizingit,whilestill_achievingthe effectsofa caged environment. In MissGuidedI used smallamountsofsteelplateforweightandstability. _{Aesthetically}thissolution workedwellwiththevisual weight.

AmandaLee,Capitol Loss. 2003.

Steel,muslinPlastic. 36in.x12in.x16 in.

Needingvarious sizesofcagesin Capitol_Loss,Icould exploretheideaof

turningthissculptureintoadangeroustoy. TofastentheblockstogetherIused_zipties

and_{they threateningly}pokedthroughtheopenings ofthecageslikeporcupine quills. The

useofwelded steeldirectedthesepiecesand suggested a_strongvisualharshnessthat

becameanimportantparallelto_myown pastfeelingsof rage.

Earlierart work atRITallowed meto_playwith methodsofassemblageinfabrics

and paper. Inthis_thesis,Ihave hadsuccess with_usingmatte medium and_polyacrylic

for_sealingdresspatternsand similarfragilepapers. Thematerial,whenlayeredwith one

ofthese_sealingagents, becomestranslucentandleathery. Thisallows metocut and

stitchittogether. Withthe thinnessofthedresspatterns andBiblepagesIhadtowork

small,muchlikethemethodsIusedforthesisterdolls in The Importanceof a

Balanced Diet.

AmandaLee,The Importanceof aBalanced Diet 2002. Dress_{patterns, resin,}foundobject,plastic.

Wanting

oftransparentvinyl curtainin betweenthe_layers; inthis_{way I}could enhancethesize of

mydoll. InBedlambIaddedadditionaltransfertext tothefaceofthedoll_byusing

Lazertranpaper. Lazertranisawaterslidedecalpaperthat transfersyourownimages

onto almost_anytwoorthree-dimensionalsurface.2

Amanda_Lee,Bedlamb. 2002. Dresspatterns,vinyl,fabric,acrylic,foundobject.

49in.xlOin. x26in.

German Artist Hannah Hochexperimented with such materials_duringthemiddle

ofthetwentiethcentury. Sheusedphotos,otherpaper_objects,pieces of machines and

variousfoundobjectstoproducelarge images.

HannahHoch,CutwiththeKitchen Knife. 1919. Collageof pasted papers.

44in.x35 in.

Herphotomontage workwas createdbycutting upand_pastingtogether_imagery

thatwasthenrecomposedinnewand_startlingcontexts. Theseincludedphotographsof

individuals,events, posters,book jacketsanda_varietyof

typefaces.3

Herarrangementof

mediais drawn_specificallyfromplacesthatpertainto theevents ofasignificanttimein

history. Ialso_trytoestablishoccurrences_bychoosingmaterialsthatrelate_directlyto the

conceptualdirectionof_mywork.

Muslinisanother materialI enjoy workingwith,itrespondstoalotof stress

treatmentsanddamage. I have discoveredthatthefabricabsorbsdyesinvarious

concentrations without_washingout. Theeffect ofthebruisedcolor usedforthemuslin

dolls,togetherwith weldedsteel,createdthe effect ofbothanger and sensuousness. This

juxtapositionof materials andobjects mirrored_myinternal battleswith_safetyand

devastation. Theapplication offiberglass resin ontothemuslin produced a_{glassy, hard,}

surface. Ifeltthatthistechniqueof_sealingthefabric didnot compromisetheshape

containedinside. ThesculptureAct_Accordinglyusesthiscombination of materials

quite successfully.

AmandaLee. Act Accordingly. 2002.

Muslin,resin.

9 in.x4 in.x13 in

Applicationoftextisevidentthroughoutthework createdforthisthesis. Insome

casesIhaveembroidered individualwords_singularlyontotwo_inch,white cloth

;

Arnason,H. Harvard: HistoryofModernArt(Prentice_Hall,Inc.3rd

swatches. Inother art componentsI havetransferredtextontothematerialor object

usingthe transferart productLazertran. Adapts_NicelyhasacombinationofBibletext

andhandpaintedtext that togethercreate aneffectiveconflictbetween mywords andthe

printed scripturesfromtheBible. Iwantedtochallengetheviewers'

interpretationof

each unique sculpture_byprovidingwritteninformationthatservedas anelementof

conflict or surprise. The small whitedressesthatweresewntogetherweretransformed

byembroidering Just Like ADogontothem. The ideathat the_{dresses only}openedfrom

thebottomwas subtle yet_shockingwhencontent andcontext mergedfortheviewer.

JennyHolzerisan exampleof someone who usesthe_authorityof words

successfully in her

work.4

Herstrategies aretoaddresslarger issuesthanfeminism_from,

nevertheless,a woman'sviewpoint. Shesaystoget contextin_{there, something}different

than thecontent of abstract

art.6

JennyHolzer,Installation. 1989-90. Extended helicaltricolorLEDsignboard

and17Indianred granitebenches.

From 1983 she createdinstallations. Inthatof1989-90 intheGuggenheim

MuseuminNew_York,330 ofher_bewilderingtextswere_spiralingaroundtheinteriorof

thebuilding. _JennyHolzerusestheinstallmentof languagetobethevisual substanceof

4

http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5047/holzerbio.html7200525

6

Honour,HughandJohn Flemming: The Visual Arts: A_History(PrenticeHall4th

herwork.

The incorporationofobjects,such asthe_ironingboardinthesculptureBedlamb,

isanefforttouse adomesticarena wheremuchof_myexperiencecantakeplace. I

removedthelegsofthe_ironingboardwithahacksawandupholsteredthesurface with

quilt

_batting

brasstackswithpearl coloredbuttonsandfastenedthemintothebaseoftheboard.

Threeinch lacewas secured aroundtheouteredgeofthepiece_usingsafetypins.

Restraintswere attachedinordertoconstrainthedolland createthefullnarration.

AnotherobjectIutilizedin_myartworkwas a woodenhighchair. The resulting

sculptureiscalledThe Importanceof aBalanced Diet.

Amanda_Lee,TheImportanceof aBalanced Diet 2002. Dresspatterns, resin,found_object,plastic.

52in.x28in. x18 in.

Icovered the surface withbroken beerbottles,_usingwhitetile_caulkingand epoxy. The

stretcherswerewrappedinpieces of_long,blackhairthatresembled_myown,andtied

looselywiththreadsothatthestrands spill outintospace. Thearms andlegswere

wrappedina_dirtywhite woolthatundulatesandknotsto suggest_figurativecontours.

Thebottomback_legremainsexposed withthetextureand stress marks ofthewooden

compromisingenvironment(theexposedlowerleg). Thematerials reinforcethe equilibrium ofdangerand safety.

In workingwith_{assemblage, I}choseto_playwithvisualrepetitionin 12 Waysto

KillTime. Thissculptureincorporatedthirteenwhite eggsthathadthe_eggcontents

extracted with alargesyringe. _Theywerethenplacedinthecenter ofsmall,white pillows

usinginvertedstraight pins. Theindividual_eggshellshadone wordtransferredontotheir surface. Whenaligneditread:

SOMETIMESI TIME THE SUM OF SOME TIMES BY THE TIMING OF SOME

Theeggs were_{intentionally}anuneven numberthatdidnotfitintoa gridstructureof three_byfourwith a oneinchspatialdivision. Thiscaused oneoftheeggstobeexcluded

fromtheformat. SOMETIMES wasbrokenandpushed out ofthe alignment ,butthe message was stilldecipherable.

AmandaLee,12WaystoKill Time. 2003. Lasertransferonto eggs andfabric.

12in.x12in.x12 in.

Oneofthemore_challengingsculpturesIassembled wasThat's What Little Girls Are Made Of. Itrequired someabstractpossibilities astonarrative _{interpretations.}

shape. Itwas adollthatIwas_especiallysuccessful inconstructing. Ihadinvested

significanttime_{in creating}thedetailsofherexpressions andbody.

AmandaLee,That's What LittleGirls Are Made Of. 2003.

Glass,muslin, resin,plastic.

36 in.x33 in.x33in.

Inordertoflaunther,Ineededtopositionhere centrally inaformatthatdrewattentionto

hercontortedfigure. Ithoughtthatanincubatorwould_properlyputthisdollon_display,

soItook themost_expressive,damagedstorm windowsIcouldlocateandbuilta

triangularstructurethatwouldhold her. Ichosethisshapebecause itresembled an attic

andthemold and cobwebs_clingingto theedgewereindicative of neglect and

abandonment.

Ultimately,through theevolutionofthesecreative explorations each sculpture

becameanarrative. Thoughthepartswerefrom_{many differentsources,they}relatedto

oneanotherbecauseoftheirvintageandchronologicaldating. Thisscheme was evident

to me, though theviewercould argue therelevance. Toavoid confusionintheir

connectednessIwantedtointegratetheworks_by

_{incorporating}

usedineachindividualpiece. Itook_longsheets of plastic and covered_everypiece either

atautskinthatwashandstitchedon someparts,leftshapelesson others. Theplastic was

difficulttoedit soIplayed_extensivelywiththepositioning.

AmandaLee,MissGuided. 2003.

Steel, Muslin,Plastic.

42 in.x34in.x18 in.

Attimes thesculpturewas so obscuredthat the_{imagerybecame vaguely}maskedand

ineffective.The decisions for_finalizingwheretheplastic would cover thesculpture

components were_anxietyridden. Thisseemedtome an appropriate sentiment

experientialfor_finishingworkthatwas narrativeto_mypersonal experiences.

Witheach ofthesesculpturesIhavecreatedanabsurdtone thatemerges with_my

organizationofthematerials. _Mysense ofhumorallows metofacedifficultexperiences

byskewing myperspectiveof events andindividuals. Theidea istopresent a visual

welcome matfor_{the viewer,}andthendeliveramessagetocontradicttheartworks

unspecified content. _Absurdityismedicinalin myapproachto thepast. Ittakesthe edge

offof_mypainfulmemoriesso thatIcanexpressthem. InthecontextofhumorousartI

thinkoftheworkMarcel_DuchamptitledFountain.

Thisporcelain urinal withthesignatureR. Mutt, wasinstalled inanartexhibition_by

Duchampin 1917as a sculpture.

Duchamp challengedtraditional preconceptions of what artis. He stated

thatitwas notimportantwhetheror notMr. Mutthad madetheworkwith

his own _hands; what mattered was that he had chosen it. Therefore the

creation was notimportant buttheideaandselection was.

Atfirsttheobjects andimages Iusetocreate sculpture recall_myownfeelingsof

confusion. As Iworkthrough_confrontingcertainmemories, theconfusionseparatesinto

themes that_{clarify my individual}waysofbehaving. Ithink thatthisprocessisevidentin

mythesiswork. Therearelevelsof_{anger, ridiculousness,vulnerability}andclosurethat

are_visuallydemonstratedandthesestages reflect_myownpersonal understanding.

'

InfluenceFromtheArt World

Asan adultwomanI aminfluenced_bymanyofthesameexperiencesIhadas a

child. _However,withadulthoodIcandistinguishpersonallifepatternsfromartistic

interpretationsof experiencethat_manyartists confronttoday. ItissignificanttomethatI

relate and respondto the_{imagery by}photographerDiane Arbus._{Internationally}

recognizedfor her_{photography,capturing}thepsychological_realityinferredthrough

expression and_{bodylanguage,}Diane Arbusstates:

Nothing is ever the same as _they said it was. It's what I've never seen

before that I recognize. It's important to takebad pictures. It's the bad

ones thathave todowith what you've neverdone before. _Theycan make you recognize _something you hadn't seen in a _way that will make you

recognizeitwhen youseeitagain.1

DianeArbus._Boy with aStraw Hat. 1967. Gelatinsilver print.

Inher imageof _Boywith aStrawHat2a portraitof a_youngboyis_rallyingsupportfor

theVietnamWar. InthisphotographIcanreadthehesitation in hisfaceandstillbe

provoked

_by

hassaidthatshe wantstoseek withhercamera'thingswhich_nobodywouldseeunlessI

photographedthem'.3

Acknowledgmentof_uniqueness,orwhathas rarely been seen_before,iscrucialfor

theevolution of_myownartwork. Iam certainthat_drawingfrompersonal experiences

necessitatesthat theartisthavethecouragetofaceterrorsandtounderstandthem. Some

oftheseconfrontationshavebeenoverdrawnand_humiliatingforme. Othershave

resultedinpainful regressionintooldbehaviors. Ted Orlandwrites:

Inlargemeasure_becomingan artist consists of_learningtoacceptyourself,

whichmakesyour work_personal,andin_followingyour own_voice, which

makesyour workdistinctive.4

In_JennyHolzer'

s

Truisms,5

she_publiclydisplaysone-line statements such as:

A LOT OF PROFESSIONALSARECRACKPOTS

PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT

MOTHER'

S SHOULDN'T MAKE TOO MANY SACRAFICES

YOUR OLDESTFEARS ARE YOUR WORSTONES6

Sheuseslanguageas amediumand_{billboards,posters,T-shirts,}tractor_hats,castbronze

2

Honour,HughandJohn Flemming: The Visual Arts: A_History(PrenticeHall4th

edition_1995)pg790

3

Honour,HughandJohn Flemming: The Visual Arts: A_History(PrenticeHall4th

editionl995)pg790

4

Bayles,DavidandTed Orland: ArtandFear (Capra Press_1993)pg3

5

Honour,HughandJohn Flemming: The Visual Arts: A_History(Prentice Hall4th

edition1_{1995)pg 790}

plaques,inscribedstones and_flashingsignsas vehiclesto_{convey her}message. Without

emulating J. Holzer,I meantodrive_mysculptural search withthesame poignantferocity.

I see_myartistic approach as a challengetogivetheobviousvisualinformationandthen

imposean alternativeinterpretationpersuasively. Thenarrative sculpturebecomes

recognizable aslanguageat_first,muchlike_Jenny

Holzer'

s_Truisms,butthecontext of

howor wherethelanguage is_selectivelydisplayedbecomesthe_convincingfactor.

Through in-depthresearch_{my increased}knowledgeofdifferentmaterialsopens

upa vast resourcefor mycreativework. I have become fascinatedwiththevarious

potential of unusualmaterialsandbothfoundandfabricatedobjects. Thisis especially

evidentifandwhenI_initiallyrespondto themon a personallevel.

Eva Hesse isanother artist who worked_informallywithvariousmaterialsin her

sculptures. Herinstallationswere_hungfrom_{the ceiling,}leanedagainst awall or spiltout

overthefloor.

Eva Hesse,HangUp. 1966.

Acrylicon cloth over wood and steel.

6 ft.x7ft.x6 ft. 6 in.

Thesculptures wereof_{unconventional,}often_pliable,andimpermanentmaterials such as

latex,rubber,fiberglass,ropeand cloth. Evasaid she wantedherartworktobe 'non_art,

7

Honour,HughandJohn Flemming: The Visual Arts: A_History(PrenticeHall4th

non_cognitive,non_{anthropomorphic,}non_geometric,no_nothing, everything,butof

another_kind,vision, sort'.8

RobertHugheswrites ofEva Hesse in American Visions:

Hesse grew more and more interested in what _{usually didn't} pertain to

sculpture. _{Backing away}from its 'male'

rigidity, which includedthe

high-style rhetoric of_Minimalism, she allowedherfascinationwiththe'female'

and the _inward,

_including

enlarge she left a truncated _body of work but one of remarkable

power: an instrument of _feeling that spoke of an inner life, sometimes

fraughtwith

anxiety.9

SimilartoEva_Hesse,Ihaveneverbeen overlyimpressedwithtraditionalformats

for_creatingsculpture. Ihave little interest inworkthatisconstructed topromoteone's

vanity. Ihonor_myugliest, most_humiliatingsecrets. _Myowninnermonstersandthe

childliketerrors thathuntme aretheinternalgoldthatIhave foundas anindividualartist.

The innersearchfornarrationthatdefines_mysculpture installations is_mygreatest

resource.

8

Honour,HughandJohn Flernming: TheVisualArts: A_History(PrenticeHall4*

editionl_{1995)pg 792}

Conclusion

Ibelievethisinvestigation into_breakingdownoftheinhibitedcreative spiritand

theelements ofdysfunction hasachievedbothvisualandconceptual success. The

sequence of narrative events canberead_{visually in}this_bodyofwork withoutmuch

uncertainty.

BreedingContempthasbeena clarification oftheparallelsbetween early

developmentand reconciliationwith_myownhumanness. _Treatingeach_memoryaspart

ofatime-linethatneeds_{understanding}and_purgingisthevaluablecathartic processthat

tookbothcompassion and strengthin mycreative work. The informationthatfuelsthe

creative mind_exists,however it has beencongestedwithconfusion. Once Iwas ableto

trustmyself against_conformingtolifeprograms and structuresthatdidnot_{belongto me,}

Icouldfeeland seethelovelinessof_myownindividuality. _Myselfconfidencecould

finallyallow meto _developsculpturewithcreative autonomy.

Asartistsallof ourreservesareattainablethrough theconfrontation of our

individualexperiences.

Body

That'sWhat Little Girls Are Made Of

Glass, Muslin, Resin,Plastic

The ImportanceofaBalanced Diet

Dress_{patterns, resin,}found_objects,plastic

Blind_Autonomy

Muslin

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Blind_Autonomy

(frontal view)

Muslin

Adapts_Nicely

Resin,acrylic,bibleparchment, plastic,foundobjects

12 WaystoKill Time

Lasertransferontoeggs andfabric

Act_Accordingly

Muslin,Resin

9"x4"xl3"

Act_Accordingly

(installed)

Muslin, Resin, Plastic

9"x4"xl3"

Miss Guided

Steel, Muslin, Plastic

Capitol Loss

Capitol Loss

(detail)

Steel,muslin,plastic

Bedlamb

Dresspatterns, vinyl,fabric,acrylic,foundobjects

Just Likea_Dog