Empathy moments for those who want to learn more about living with chronic illness.
#Obesity1Day
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Think about how many stereotypes you have about the people you see around you.
Did you make any assumptions on any person’s character (intelligence, professional success, health status, or lifestyle behaviors) based on anyone’s weight? What were they?
Think about your own weight loss journey.
What’s the most difficult lifestyle change you have tried to make? How successful have you been? What have been the barriers to that success?
You are upset and feel like eating something comforting. What food would you choose? You eat it, but it doesn’t make you feel better. Now you feel guilty too, which makes you want to eat more. You’re in a vicious cycle and it’s really hard to get out of it.
Describe a time when something you did to give you comfort (like eating) made you feel worse and/or guilty.
You are boarding an airplane, and everyone is looking at you. You hear comments as you get into your row. Now, you have to ask the flight attendant for a seat belt extender. You remember why you prefer long drives. If only you could just take up less space in the world.
Have you experienced this or something sim-ilar? Can you describe how it impacted your ability to travel and experience life?
Despite repeated requests from your children, you’ve learned to avoid amusement parks. Last time, you waited in line for two hours to get on a ride. But to your dismay, your safety harness wouldn’t close. You had to tell your child that you would not be able to ride with them, and you felt humiliated.
Describe how being overweight affects the way you enjoy experiences with family and friend.
You are walking through a crowd and have been quietly saying “excuse me,” because you didn’t want to be a bother. People in the crowd stare and comment as you do so. A couple of people even go to the trouble of excessively jumping out of the way to over-emphasize their need to move based on your size.
How has worrying about other people’s opinions affected your public outings?
You are ordering food at a lunch counter. In addition to thinking about what you want to eat, you also need to scan your environment and see if anyone is listening as you order. When you finally sit down, you have to check carefully if the chair will hold your weight.
What’s it like to worry about who will hear you order and see you receive your food and eat it? How would you feel if you had to worry about every chair you had to sit in?
Think about the last time you went to see the doctor about a health issue. But instead of addressing that issue, the doctor instead wants to talk about your weight. During this conversation, both your gown and the blood pressure cuff don’t fit.
How has your weight influenced your health care experiences? Have you ever experienced delay in care or other negative health
consequences because of your weight? Share with your partner via text or email.
It’s time to get new shoes. But you can only choose from the Velcro or slip-on shoes, since bending over to tie your shoes makes you too short of breath.
Think of a time when you could not buy the clothes or shoes you wanted because of your weight or other health condition. How did this make you feel?
Think about a holiday meal with your family and some of the stressful things that sometimes happen when you get together with them at this time of year.
How do you feel when the conversations at family gatherings revolve around food? Do you think your family members judge you for your eating and/or your weight?
You aren’t overweight, but your child is. Everywhere you go together, people stare, obviously judging you for letting this happen.
How do you separate the judgement of others from your everyday parenting?
You need to go up two floors. The stairs are just way too hard, and the elevator is always crowded. Now imagine that everyone is going to be looking at the elevator’s weight limit and looking at you.
Have you ever been in a crowd or a line or other place with lots of people where people are staring at you because of something you wore or did or said? How did this make you feel? Share with your partner via text or email.
You dealt with a very traumatic experience as a teenager. You gained a lot of weight as a young adult and later pursued bariatric surgery. Now that you have lost weight, several friends, colleagues, and acquaintances cannot stop commenting on your new look. This is not something you are accustomed to – it makes you uncomfortable.
A dramatic transformation should feel great — but what about when it doesn’t?
You’re putting together your family photo album and realize there are no pictures of you with your kids. You have avoided being in the pictures for the last decade because you didn’t like how you looked. It looks like you haven’t been part of their life.
Have you found yourself playing the role of photographer, rather than being in the picture yourself?
You are out in the public and see a person with obesity using a walker and parking in a handicap spot.
What are your first thoughts regarding their situation? Do you blame them?
It’s been 8 months since your bariatric surgery. You feel great about your weight loss. You are excited about exploring the world with your new found energy. Your significant other is less excited. He/she wants you to stay home and watch tv with him/her. It seems like you no longer have anything in common.
As your habits have changed, have you found that you have less (or more!) in common with certain people around you?
It was your son’s birthday yesterday, and you remember that half of the cake is still in the fridge. You get home early and everyone is either at work or school. It’s been a long day and you feel you deserve a treat. Maybe one slice? Oh-no! You finished the whole thing! You’re such an idiot! Why can’t you control yourself? You know it’s not good for you – you’re hopeless, no – worthless!
How do you manage negative emotions after you do something you think is not good for you?
It’s your birthday and the family has come together to celebrate. The cake has been sliced, and pieces of it have been given to each of your family members. Your very thin sister starts to hand you a piece of cake, stops, and passes it over your head to give to her husband. “I’m saving you from yourself,” she says.
How do you handle people (especially close family or friends) who may think they’re being supportive?
You are one year post-bariatric surgery and have lost 75 pounds. Your clothes fit better and you can hike 10 miles on the weekend. You are so proud! When you are talking about your achievements, one of your co-workers says, “Well, you did it the easy way. The rest of us have to do it the old-fashioned way – hard work and self-discipline.”
Have you encountered judgment during times when you have tried to be healthier or when you have had procedures or treatments? How have
Your father tells you he wishes your spouse wasn’t so accepting of you and didn’t love you so unconditionally. He says if you were with someone less accepting, it would make you lose weight.
Have you ever had someone close to you say something similar about your health and/or behavior?
