December 1997 Back Issue

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Treasure Maps Genealogy Newsletter

December 1997 – Back Issue

A Companion to Treasure Maps Genealogy How-to Site

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* * * Special "Family & Holiday Traditions" Issue * * * Notes from Robert Ragan:

What do traditions have to do with genealogy? EVERYTHING! The

family traditions, stories, and memories are what fill the "names, dates and places" genealogy work with the things that matter most... the real people and families behind the facts.

Here are many traditions from many different families that have been submitted by members of the Treasure Map's family. They are warm, fun, and thought provoking. And most important, they are moments in time cherished by different family members that will span many

generations.

As you enjoy these - I encourage you to think about YOUR own family traditions. And when you meet with your family this year - remember your traditions. Talk about them with your family. Reminisce and

reflect. Record the stories of your traditions on tape or video. Or, start a brand new tradition. Then, take a deep breath and just take it all in.

For these will be the memories recounted in future holidays.

As a child, I never thought much about the times to come where there would be empty seats at the table as our family gathered for the

holidays.

I don't have to tell you how this is the tough part of remembering. The memories now bittersweet because of how much we miss our loved ones who have passed away.

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But, I firmly believe that they remember those same precious

memories just as clearly as we do. That they love us as much as ever and are cheering us on. And, that the seat at the table will not always be empty - and we will be able to embrace them again one day.

A sincere "thank you" to all of you were willing to share your family and holiday traditions. I only wish that I could have included all of them, or all of the text from the ones that are in this issue. Here they are...

"I've always had a fascination for my heritage. About 15 years ago I decided to incorporate our Scandinavian heritage with our Christmas celebration. There is a old tradition in those countries of rice pudding on Christmas Eve. A lone almond is hidden in the pudding and the person finding the almond in his pudding will have good luck for the next year.

Well, my kids wouldn't eat rice pudding and nobody was too excited about good luck for a year. So we now put the almond in a favorite dessert and the person who gets it receives a special gift. We try to choose a decoration or ornament and everybody knows what it is. Our children, some now married, still look forward to this Christmas

tradition." (Irene Jeppsen)

"I love to emphasize the charitable side of Christmas. I have 6

children, and when they are little they can't afford to buy presents for all of the others, so we started back when there was only 3 of having them draw names and the rule was that you had to MAKE the gift for you chosen person.

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When they were little there were some pretty basic gifts made from margarine containers and the like.

They are now from 9-22 in age and we still do the same thing. They are allowed to buy some basic materials for their project, but they still must make it. One daughter sews so everyone wants her to draw their name. We have had some really fun and "innovative" gifts throughout the years like stationery, games, puzzles, stuffed animals, coloring books, banks, earring holders and all kinds of other things. We have them draw names in about October so they can get to thinking and to work. I have had 3 in college and they still participate." (Sally Meyer)

"Our family tradition is a bit odd, and nobody is quite sure how it ever began. Every Christmas eve after the family get together is over we open one gift under the tree and every year it seems to be pajamas.

As a child I didn't understand this was a tradition and would try to

"out-fox" my mother and choose a different present.

So, my mother would hide the pajamas in the biggest box or some how roll the pajamas up to fit them in the smallest box, knowing I'd choose it. I never realized how I always opened the pajamas as a child, I would choose the present and it would still be pajamas every year.

As an adult now, I have carried on the tradition with my daughter. I had also since learned that it wasn't only me who opens pajamas every year.

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Every child in the family since my great-grandmother has also opened pajamas on Christmas eve. And, not one year EVER has this tradition been broken.

I only wish someone would have asked before my great-grandmother passed away how this bizarre tradition began!" (Kimberley Geddes)

"When I was a child, my parents would buy me a Christmas ornament each year to hang on the tree. When I got older (7 or 8 years), I chose the ornament myself. We put the year on the bottom of the ornament. When I got married last year (Nov. '96), I was able to share the memories of each ornament with my new husband and we also had plenty of Christmas ornaments to hang on the tree.

[It is] special to me because the year is written on the ornament, I can recall the memories of each particular Christmas and share those

memories with my new family. While we don't have children yet, I plan to continue this tradition with them so that when they leave OUR nest, they will have a fully ornamented tree for their new families." (Aasha Leahy)

"Since my husband was born on Christmas Eve, I have tried to make a special time to celebrate his birthday during our forty years of

marriage.

When the first of our three children was born, we began attending the candle lighting service at our church. We have never missed one

since. Now we have their spouses and grandchildren attending too, and we take up the entire row.

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Sometimes it has been a challenge to make sure the wobbly candles held by the little ones did not drip or get to close and cause a fire!

Now they are all old enough to hold their own candles. On the way home from last year's service, our 3 ½ year old said" Isn't it nice that everyone comes and sings Happy Birthday to Pappaw and Jesus, too".

After the service, we always come back to our house for a meal featuring food from one particular country, i.e. Mexican, German,

Chinese, etc. We then give our birthday gifts to the honoree before we began to share all the many gifts under our tree. Our family has done all this for so many years that even a hint that we might think of doing anything different brings protests, so imagine this will be the way our family will always celebrate Jim's birthday and Christmas. "

(B. Barnes)

"I was fortunate enough to marry into a family that had already started a tradition at Thanksgiving, the ladies and children and

sometimes the men, make a craft or a Christmas ornament together.

For example one year we melted 30 pounds of chocolate and made molded candy, peanut butter cups, chocolate covered pretzels, marshmallows and cherries, in which everyone eagerly helped!

We also have made sweatshirts with embellishments on them. Every year one of the "crafty" sister in laws or my mother in law has

gathered the items needed and the project takes place with lots of laughter and visiting and fond memories. Thankfully my skilled photographer husband has captured some precious pictures of relatives that passed away in the following year during the past 20 years we have been doing this event.

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Also during this Thanksgiving afternoon, we try to get a family portrait that includes all the relatives squeezed into one area…we know we need a wider angle lens these days though with great grandchildren coming onto the scene. Again, this tradition has given us some more precious pictures of an aunt that died less than 3 weeks after one of these sessions. Yes, everyone groans about it...but are secretly pleased when the pictures return!

Of course, it shows everyone's growth of the children in height and the loss of hair and gaining of pounds over time...but has given us a lot of laughter as well when someone recalls an event of that day when

looking back over the pictures!

During the visiting sessions, I have started to do some oral questions for my genealogy notebook too. I like to ask a question or two and wait for the conversation to flow and it is amazing what information I can gather during these "gab sessions". Then I enter it in my notes of my Family Tree Maker program with notation of the dates as well. I am certainly glad that my twin daughters 4 H projects became mine this time, because that is how I got started doing genealogy too!" (Randy Sue McKeever)

"A Christmas Letter is something our family has done for years. Do you know what info they have of years past for family history? When I tried to stop sending them out, everyone complained so went back to it. My mother and aunt did them for years, when they both were in the

nursing home I continued theirs and mine, when they both died I sent our a last one for each one notifying their friends.. Now my family can look back at each and everyone and see what happen in that year of family life!!

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I bet people never thought about them as Genealogy Christmas letters!!" (Marge Gray)

"On December 22, 1983 my mother, the world's most avid Christmas fan, passed away very suddenly. She always managed to endow that time period with her joy of having just the right gift for us all, with the

"bestest" tasting meal you could ever want to eat (always late to the table mind you!) - little did she know that the best part of Christmas was watching her.

Although she never said much, she must have had a real privileged time of it in her youth, one of 3 children born to very wealthy, spoiled parents...but I'm sure to her, some time spent with those parents

would have been preferred to the lavish gifts they must have received, in an age where children were "seen but not heard."

Christmas morning was spent at her townhouse with me being "the Momma" making sure that Christmas breakfast was exactly the way she made it, right down to cutting out the core of the grapefruit for that maraschino cherry! My younger sister Vicky had a hard time looking at me that day I recall, as I look like my mom and the tears would just start coming and then the both of us ended up as limp noodles.

But we did it and Mom would have been proud of us all. The four of us spent the bulk of the day discussing earlier Christmas's, such as the time when a certain little elf didn't have the stockings stuffed by 4:00 am and yours truly got downstairs to find "The Elf" sound asleep on the sofa, surrounded with bags of goodies and a big pan of bread

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stuffing balanced between her knee's. A quick nudge was all that was needed and I was forced to hike it back to bed and "sleep" until I heard her deliver her goods (Oh, those stockings - not just a man's worksock or a nylon - these were jumbo sized tights, both legs and the body so crammed with goodies, who needed the stuff under the tree!!) My husband & I don't have children but that doesn't stop me from

re-creating the sequence of events that occurred each and every Christmas - I have him trained to jump out of bed at 5:30 am to the strains of the "Ceremony of Carols" to try and eat that same menu of Christmas breakfast - it must still be dark out or else it just isn't the same. Yes – Christmas is the way I remember it with Dad (instead now it's my husband) dozing on the sofa, waiting for the exquisite meal and with me trying to prolong that feeling of being with my Mom one more time. I know she'd be proud of my Christmas Spirit." (Judy Kennedy)

"My grandmother, Catherine Farrell, emigrated to the U.S. in 1924 and is still living at the age of 93. As the family historian, I ask her (when ever I can) to tell me stories about her life in Ireland. She told me one last year about her family's typical Christmas experience. I believe it is a treasure. Here's how it appeared in my family Christmas letter last year:

Contrast the type of Christmas' Grandma Farrell experienced in Ireland as a young girl with the ones that most of us enjoy. She told us that her family never had a Christmas tree. For decorations her family would scoop out the center of turnips, put in a candle and place them around the house.

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The gifts they received were apples, oranges and raisin bread. They'd have a "huge" Christmas dinner and felt they were blessed. It should make us all appreciate even more what we have, especially during this time of year. (A side note: They never had toys to speak of. When her mom broke a dish, they'd take it out to the "garden" and play tea party.)" (Patrick Farrell)

"Every Christmas, one (or sometimes two if it's a little one who can't read,) person wears a Santa Hat and they hand out the gifts to the other members.

Our family has grown so big (at last count 16). That I have to keep in my calendar who was Santa's helper each year so there are no

arguments next year. We usually pick next year's Santa in the present year. Of course Santa gets accused of hoarding their gifts and opening them all last.

Sometimes we take a break and have the Santa open a few so we can see what he or she got.

It's special to me to remember how the older children were so thrilled to be picked to be the Santa and how they are now helping the little ones do the same thing. They all consider it a special honor to be the gift giver and wear the Santa hat.

Yes, we are still using the Santa hat and God willing I will get to see my great-grandchildren some day wearing the Santa hat and handing out the gifts." (Diane in Wisconsin)

"Christmas dinner was always a very special part of the holiday. At each place setting was a "Christmas cracker" which when pulled apart

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it popped and inside was a hat, a Christmas blessing/good luck

message, and a small prize (especially for the children). In addition to that, we always set an empty place setting for the unexpected visitor at Christmas.

This was set primarily for someone who was less fortunate than we were. The place was filled about half the time by someone who came to the door for handouts. They were welcomed as part of our family celebration.

The empty place setting was especially impressive to me as a child.

Even though we were poor, we learned there were others less

fortunate than us. In giving to others, we learned the true meaning of Christmas. The "cracker" message also gave us positive messages about this special day.

We still celebrate using the "crackers", but no longer leave an empty place setting for the less fortunate. When we moved from the small town setting in British Columbia to the larger cities (several in Canada and the U.S.), it was felt that it was no longer safe to have the open setting.

However, if we hear of a family/person who is in need of a happy Christmas, they are invited to celebrate with us." (Joan Walker)

"In our family, it took a little foreign exchange student from Holland to teach us how to 'share' each others 'gifts'. The Christmas morning event of opening gifts used to be a race of speed for the children.

They were more interested in 'gettin' than 'givin'. He taught us to 'savor' the pleasures and surprises of Christmas morning. All of the

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gifts are handed out by the younger children, then we begin with the 90 yr old Grandmother and work our way down to the youngest child.

Each opens one gift for all to see the Ooh's and Ahh's are shared around the room. Clothes are modeled, toys are played with by all, and a lot of reminiscing is done about 'back when'. The process is repeated until all of the gifts are opened. The 'Grand Opening" as well as our breakfast buffet lasts until well past noon. This is the one time of year that all of our children, grandchildren and extended families are present and we try to stretchhhhhhhh it as far as we can. Thanks to our little friend from Holland who had never had more on Christmas morning than the contents of his stocking. He taught us the pleasures of the 'Grand Opening' to add to our Christmas Eve Mass, and

Christmas dinner...and a little child shall lead them." (Gwen Holden Skelton)

"Well we ALWAYS have Christmas Dinner at noon at our house. We have three sons two of which are married. One in laws family has their celebration Christmas Eve. The other on Christmas Day in the evening.

Now I’m as anxious as any mother of a grown son 30+ for him to get married but I've told him when he finds a girl he is interested in that the first question he should ask her is when Does your family observe Christmas and other special dinners? If its at noon just forget it."

(Janice F. Smith)

P.S. I'm only kidding about this but thought it was interesting family dynamics.

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"When I was a little girl, my father worked on Christmas eve until midnight. Since it was December in Wisconsin and the weather was usually cold and snowy we would take my father to work and pick him up. As we got older we couldn't wait until Christmas morning to open our gifts so Dad and Mom would let us open them after we got home.

After all, to our thinking it was "morning" since in was after 12:00 a.m.

We continued this tradition until 20 years ago. We then moved the gift opening from 'Santa' back to Christmas morning and had the family exchange on Christmas Eve night. On Christmas Eve afternoon my son was born so that became his time to open "Birthday Gifts." Sometimes you have no control over "traditions." (Cheryl Keene)

"Our family has done the same thing for Christmas for as long as I can remember! All the kids and grandkids gather at my parent’s home on Christmas Eve for dinner and gift giving. We eat, then all sit around the tree where my dad plays Santa and passes out the gifts, even though each year it gets harder for him to read the names on the packages and takes him longer to do the job, he will always have the

"seat of honor".

As all our kids grow up and bring new family members into our home, the room gets more and more cramped, but that never seems to

matter. My grandparents and other relatives that are unable to travel to my parent's home always call during this gift giving and everyone has to take a turn talking with them. I can't imagine celebrating

Christmas any other way than being with all those that mean so much to me. This year, my gift to everyone will be a bound version of all the family history I've discovered - a lot thanks to "Treasure Maps". (Betty Seals)

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"A large holiday (Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter) tablecloth. Get one that has enough blank space, not all filled up with designs of

turkey, Christmas trees or eggs. In the blank spaces use permanent fabric paint, fine point works best. Colors that compliment the colors in the tablecloth.

Buy Paint that does not have to be heat set. Have each member of the family, starting with Grand parents, parents, children, grand children, best friends, aunts, uncles, and cousins by the dozen, lay their hand on a blank space and draw an outline of their hand. Print or write their name, birth date, a favorite scripture or saying. The one I have is so special because my hand outline and the outline of my husband are in the middle. My husband passed away on 1 Aug. 1997. We also mailed the tablecloth to Florida for my father and his wife, and to my brother and his wife to place their hand outline.

We also have my husband’s mother’s outline, she is near 92 yrs. old, also my husband’s brothers and their wives signed it. Our best friends here in Portland, Oregon have also put their hand outline on also.

What a treasure.

‘We have Grand Dad or the oldest in the room or the Father read the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas morning before we open gifts.

We open Christmas gifts one at a time. No free for all! This way all the attention is on the person and the gift. Then, if it a child, they will go

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to the person who gave the gift and hug and thank them. It does take a long time to open gifts but we have eggnog or coffee. We may take a cookie break.

This way the day is more special and each one is taught to be thankful and appreciative." (Georgia Sligar)

"Traditions" have a way of growing. The oldest of our family traditions is that we spend *all* of Christmas Day, except for going to church, at home. This allowed the children (and adults, too) to enjoy their gifts.

There's nothing more miserable than wanting to check out a gift that's home while you're somewhere else. (BTW; at my wife's insistence, we broke this tradition one year. We were both so miserable, that we

vowed never to break it again. And we haven't!!)" (E HARLER)

"Peggy and I were married in 1955. For our first Christmas we decided to make our own card to send. We decided to do the same thing the next year and realized we were starting a family tradition.

Over the years our children also aided in the design and making of the cards.

Each year we hang them in a prominent place, marvel at some designs and wish we had spent more creativity on others. This year we will mail our forty-third card and out display is getting bigger. We plan to have many more creative years together and sending our creativity and prayers to our friends." (Ken Dorst)