Shaila Pacis ENG 101
December 04, 2020
Class Structures when I visited my relatives by our culture I.
I could only remember a vivid image of a young girl who was holding his father’s hand without looking behind from the past. A brave father who carried suitcases with his two young girls who were tragically naïve to surpass this life battle. I heard a noise from a sailing ship. We were carried by distinct passengers to the ship. A happy girl who never knew what was
happening to her life although she was excited to ride in the ship for the first time. Unfortunately, she had not a chance to bid goodbye to her friends and relatives. I think we were in the ship for more than weeks. I could not remember how long but every time, I see the sunrise, it seems that we were almost landed. A new fresh era. One thing I loved riding in the ship was sleeping in double deck bed with its cozy cushion. I and my sister slept together in one bed although it is a double deck bed. But that time, I chose to sleep on the top bed. While I was sleeping, I could hear the wave splashing, engine sound under water, and noisy passengers who were about to leave. That moment I wanted to stay longer there. One distinct Filipinos who wanted to step away from noise of the city. (Class Structure or Hero)
That time It seemed my father who was desperately in need and clutching in his anger and fatigue. I wish I were grown up so I could help him. I saw an island behind those thick fog and heard a noise from turbulence of the ship. I said “Atlas, we touched the ground”. After that I never heard anything about my mother and my relatives. Technology is a quick access to
communicate for them but with the respect for my father and new family. We never talked about her again. I never asked my father what happened without any reasons. Perhaps, the grief and pain she brought for my family.
I could feel the heat from the sun that touched my face. I felt so warm and peace.
Everything was talking gibberish. I could not understand them. I came from a city to a very province. It is strange that I could not see foreigners in the place. I saw fruit vendors, many tricycles and jeepneys. While we were riding in the tricycle, my new mother was kind of
talkative to me. She was saying unfamiliar words. The first two words I have learned were kaon means eat, and balay means house. She was explaining the house. Oh, I loved the house.
Filipinos call it nipa hut or bahay kubo, is a traditional house and building that rose after the pre- colonial area. Every time I looked up the ceiling and saw the light. It seemed that it brought spark in the house. A light golden-brown house. A cool breeze by being surrounded by plants, and garden. My new mother loved having plants in the house. She trimmed and watered them carefully. At the back of the house, she has big green mangos. I hate when the leaves fell on the ground, I had to sweep it by using walis tingting or a broom made from the thin midribs of palm leaves. That was one of my assignments for doing household chores in the house. After we gathered it in one place, we burned it.
I had not met the whole family of my stepmother yet. But her nephew lived next door. I did not like him at first because he did not hang out with us. He liked being in his room so he could play video games. But I liked staying to their house because it is classy. It is one modern house that I acknowledged back then. Their house is floor tiles whereas ours are wooden floor.
My stepmother liked it to be polished and shiny, so we used bunot or coconut husk to polish the
floor. I had to use my leg strength to move back and forth in such a way as to scrub the floor. If I saw my image after I had polished the floor that meant I did well scrub it.
Perhaps, he did not like playing with us because we were new, unrelated real cousins or because of the tradition. He did not like playing with us because we are girls. We were taught that women should act dagalang pilipina which is proper and conservative. On the contrary, men should be kabalyero means gentleman.
II.
Philippines has 3 main group of islands: Luzon, Visayas at Mindanao. My hometown is in Luzon island which is close at capital. Now, I live in Mindanao where it is surrounded with Islamic and Cebuano ethnic. Every morning I did not wake up because of the alarm clock but the sound of the roaster, the loud worship prayer of Islam that I could hear 3 miles away and my mother’s sermon. But aroma of pandesal and hot cocoa made me alive in the morning despite my mother’s sermon if we got to school late. It is expensive to own a car, so I used public
transportation. Some of my relatives have cars. I either used tricycle or jeepney. I used tricycle to go to school and we paid otso pesos. It is cheaper to ride in jeepney because it can occupy at least 20 people and one-way route. While tricycle can take me to any routes even if it is far as long as I negotiate to the driver how much for the price.
Before my father had left out of town for work, they had their simple wedding in the garden. I met some of my relatives and they taught me Cebuano words which are the mother tongue of the island. However, I have learned Cebuano language from school and my friends.
My father cannot speak Cebuano language, so we must speak Tagalog at home.
There are more than 7,000 islands in the Philippines and more than 72 languages too. I know 3 languages namely Tagalog, Cebuano and English. It would take me 2 hours by plane to
bring me in General Santos City where I live. One thing I liked in the Philippines is expedition to explore the island for cheaper price. It seems that we are visiting empires from island to another island. When I visit this island, I need to ask what festive they have known for. I do not want to feel strange and oblivious in the society. My city is well-known for its Tuna while the other island like Davao City is well-known for its Durian. I can say that island in the Philippines is not popular because of the beaches, but the images of colorful costumes, delicious foods, and happy face of Filipinos.
First trait that I notice is that Filipinos are hospitable. When we have family gathering, all are invited despite if we do not like this person. We welcome them wholeheartedly. We need to feel them that they are guests and not as visitors. My mother told them to feel at home. She loves seeing my relatives at home. I remember when it was my 9th birthday. We usually eat dinner between at 6pm to 8pm. My mother would send invitation to come at 7pm and my relatives were starting to come. Sometimes, they brought food for us. They brought adobo which is stewed in vinegar, garlic, and soy sauce, pancit canton, puto, kuchinta, menudo, barbeque, and rice. All food should be set on the table and we cannot make them wait. Everyone in the room was starting to talk to each other because we cherished our time with them. We set a karaoke until night. Filipinos love to sing and one of my cousins sing for us. Neighbors do not irritate when we sing karaoke. Because we are too friendly, we do not forget to save food for our neighbors.
The best thing I have with them is family occasion. Family is the most important value for Filipinos. Sometimes, I hoped that I was their real relative. I wish I were born on that place and became my real family. Every family occasion, I always wait for tito Bernard means Uncle Bernard. I was excited when he gathered all my cousins and shared stories. I sit next with my sister because his stories made me scary sometimes. He became “Mga Kuwento ni lola basyang”
who shared stories of myths with values. We all gathered and suddenly, he was changing his pitch voice to scary pitch. We all started to scream. Then, there was a time that I held my pee at night. The big green mango tree is close at the restroom at the back of the house. I was scared to go out to use restroom at night because of the stories he told. I might see a 11 inches-man who has a long beard and comes only at night that brings a naughty kid in the tree. He shared stories of manananggal, kapre, and nanay labo who was feared by many young kids’ Filipinos like me.
My mother used it to scare me if I did not sleep early.
III.
Every time I looked up the sky and I had my phone with me. I think of my biological mother and her relatives of how they were doing. Sometimes, I asked Santa to bring me back my mother. Now, I love my new family and my stepmother a lot. They taught me to value them and our culture.
I felt disconnected by the pain that anguish my memory. Was I selfish of not giving them call because I am happy now? When I and my father had a talk, I was hoping that he could be open about coming back to visit my relatives that now I am already matured enough. However, I felt hesitant for my family sake.
My stepmother loved us and treated us like real daughters. She had 11 siblings, so I was influenced by a big family. We moved out to their other house when I was 11 years old. A very big compound area. I met most of my relatives in there. Two story houses at the front and back.
Second, Filipinos’ tradition has etiquette in the home, and party. At home, my mother taught me to sit up straight while we are eating and put your feet on the ground. We need to use spoon and fork and set placemat on the table. Everything should be set on the table with cup glasses, and cold pitcher. We eat our dessert after the meal like halo halo and buko salad. We wait for
everyone to be in the dining room before we can eat. Also, we need to close our mouth when we chew our food. If the food is far distant from us, we ask someone who is close to it to pass it on us. At party, I remember my mother was calling me “lola shaila or inday shaila”. So, I had to remember what I did wrong. My mother called us that if we were rude or disrespectful to the elders in the house. Because we should not interrupt when elderlies and adults are talking and say “opo” and “po” to every word. Filipinos are very respectful to the elders or older than us, we have to do “mano po” with them and if someone has an older sibling, we need to call her ate(older sister) or kuya(older brother). During family occasion, I must find all my titas(aunties) and titos(uncles) or lolas(grandmothers) and lolos(grandfathers), so I can gently touch their hand into my forehead which is a sign of greeting to the elders. To the men in the house, if they see someone cries, they offer their handkerchief. They need to offer their chair if they see a woman who needs a place to sit.
After my service as a missionary of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I told my father to find a work in Manila. He did not agree because I would go by myself. But then, I convinced him. I did not do any work at home after my mission. I was laying on my bed and helping to do home errand. I thought myself a burden as 21 years old.
It took me 16 years to finally visit my real relatives at my hometown. My father gave me a list of instruction and direction to take busses and my auntie Malit, who looks older at her young age, was waiting for me there. I stayed to our older house that sold to my uncle. It would take one jeepney ride to visit my relatives in my hometown.
As I came to my relatives, I surprisingly said “tao po” which signifies a visitor approach and an alternative way of doing “knock knock”. My 81 years old grandmother asked who the person in the door was. No one in my relatives knew that I would be coming. I came there at
evening around 8pm and she was watching Korean drama while laid on the couch. Their house was still the same as before. Two unpainted and untiled story houses. It is simple and ordinary to describe. As usually that the first thing I saw at her door was her statue of Mama Mary and Santo Nino. She is a devoted catholic and lector/reader in her church. My grandmother loves caring for her grandchildren. She loves giving snacks for us. One thing I hoped at that evening was my favorite champorada, which is a chocolate porridge. She sold it in the street when I was little and gave me for free. But now, she was old to make one.
Tita Jane was bothered by this visitor who kept calling “tao po” in the night. She came down the stairs and her face changed as she happily saw me. My grandmother was starting to cry when she knew that was me. I hugged her and did “mano po” to her. She started calling
everyone and saying that I was back in town. When they were chatting and talking, I felt peculiar by how they have changed and grown up. TIta Jane shared that at New Year’s Eve, one of my uncles prayed for our safety and our grandmother prayed to her santo ninos for us.
I celebrated my All Saint’s, New Year’s, and Christmas day at my second family. The best time of the year is Christmas in the Philippines. Starting ber- month, Filipinos are preparing for Christmas. Christmas songs are being played in the radio. Kids are starting to carol house to house. The most wonderful time of the year for Filipinos. Lantern or big parol is being measured which is the biggest star. Blue, Green, Red, and yellow are the most sparking colorful lights that are in the street. My relatives would start gathering us and writing our names in a 1/8 piece of paper. My auntie will draw our names and each members of the family will pick a name and prepare to give them gifts for Christmas Day. The most awaited in Christmas is lechon baboy which is roasted pig. My aunties are starting to bring leftover foods because we do not like wasting foods. We wait till midnight to start countdown and then, we will give our gifts.
Filipinos inherited 10 % of Spaniard culture. So, there are some common names in Spanish to Tagalog words. When we visited our grandparents on All Saint’s Day, his name is Antonio, which is common name in Spanish. Some names that I have noticed are Zenaida, Maria, Juan, and Jose. We do not offer foods for our ancestors but another traditional family gathering. We light up candles and pray for them. Although they were watching us above heaven, we did not forget to visit them.
At New Year’s Eve, we chose to wear polka- dots, stripes, or color-coding shirts to each family in the group. Then, we took family picture. My mother preferred to wear stripes to have luck for money bills. We wear polka dots shirts which mean coins, stripes for money bills and colored shirts for luck. My titos and titas bring oranges, grapes, watermelons that are lucky fruits for New Year. After the New Year’s countdown, we all jump as high as we can that symbols to grow taller. One time I saw my tita throwing bunch of coins in the floor which symbols to sweep away the bad luck in the house. However, my nephews and nieces took those coins and kept in their pockets. Sometimes, my auntie will give us torotot to make a noise out of it. Every house makes themselves loud during New year by using fireworks, torotot, and banging pans,
casserole, or other utensils. That is how we share our All Saints’, Christmas and New Year’s Eve Spirit which are long run celebration for Filipinos.
IV.
Lastly, education is our heirloom from our heroes. As I flew back to my hometown, I talked to my cousins most of the time. The last time I saw them when I was 4 or 5 years old but now, we are all adult. We were all deciding which college we were enrolling at. Then, they invited me to go to Intramuros and well- known university in the Philippines. Education is important because we are influenced by one of our heroes. His name is Rizal. He wrote novels
and one of his well-known novels is El Filibusterismo. He died of false accusation that he is a rebellion. He was executed by firing squad by the Spanish colonial government. His knowledge and straightforward messages have impacted me great for my studies. He said two important quotes. One is “the youth is the hope of our future” and the other one is “He who does not love his own language is worse than an animal and smelly fish”. I was amazed how we still preserved our culture. We rode a bus for two hours and they introduced me what is University of the Philippines. It is close to Intramuros which has Filipinos paintings, arts, and museum.
It was fun to be with them in a short time before I had flown for my studies. I became a hero in my life. Brave enough to accept my new family and coming back to my hometown to see the good changes that they have done so far. There was a point that I became jealous because the missed chances that I wish I had with them. We could go and see festivals together and eat delicacy like puto, kutchinta, pancit malabon, and leche flan.
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