Poem Revision Grids

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P POOEEM M TTHHEEMME E PPEERRSSPPEECCT IT IVV E & TONE E & TONE L LAANNGGUUAAGGE E SSTTRRUUCC T-URE T-URE POETIC POETIC DEVICES DEVICES COMPAR-ISONS ISONS

1 1 On my first

On my first

Sonne

(Ben

Jonson)

Death Death Love Love Parent and Parent and Child Child Relationships Relationships Father lamenting Father lamenting over the loss of his over the loss of his

son. son. Sorrowful; Sorrowful; grief; uncertainty grief; uncertainty (lines 6,8); pain (lines 6,8); pain

-- Pride aPride and affend affection fction for his sonor his son “thou“thou child of my right hand and joy’ child of my right hand and joy’ -- TalkTalking direcing directly to son; Petly to son; Personarsonall

‘Farewell’ ‘Farewell’ -

- HopelHopeless ‘I loosess ‘I loose all fate all father, now’her, now’ -- ComCommemmemoraoratortory ,y , ‘rest in soft‘rest in soft

peace…here doth lye’ peace…here doth lye’

- iambic - iambic pentameter pentameter - - lines lines inin rhyming rhyming pairs, called pairs, called couplets. couplets. -

- Metaphorical Metaphorical language:language: money , extended

money , extended metaphor

metaphor ‘lent to me,‘lent to me, and I thee pay’ and I thee pay’ -- ‘scap’d worlds, and‘scap’d worlds, and fleshes rage’

fleshes rage’ - Son is

- Son is 'best piece of 'best piece of poetrie’

poetrie’greatest creationgreatest creation

-- AffAffliclictiotion of n of Margaret Margaret -- SoSong ong of tf thehe Old Mother Old Mother -- CaCatrtrinin

2

2 The

The

Affliction of

Margaret

(W.Yeats)

Love Love Parent and Parent and Child Child Relationships Relationships Mother is anxious Mother is anxious about her missing about her missing

son. son. pain; fearful; pain; fearful; desperate; desperate; irrational; obsessed irrational; obsessed

-- Her thouHer thoughts are illoghts are illogicalgical, beyond, beyond reprieve

reprieve ‘I look for Ghosts’‘I look for Ghosts’ -- EteEternarnal pal painin ‘Neglect me! no I‘Neglect me! no I

suffered long’

suffered long’andand ‘evermore’‘evermore’ -- LLoovvee ‘my beloved son’‘my beloved son’ -- SeSeararchchiningg ‘ Where art thou’ i‘ Where art thou’ iss

repeated repeated - 11 stanzas - 11 stanzas long to express long to express grief. grief. - Regular, - Regular, basic rhyme basic rhyme scheme scheme (ABABCCC) (ABABCCC)

-- ‘shadows of the‘shadows of the clouds’

clouds’

-- ‘chains tie us down‘chains tie us down by land and sea’ by land and sea’ -- PerPersonsonifiificatcationion ‘My‘My

apprehension comes apprehension comes in crowds’

in crowds’

-- CaCatrtrinin -- DiDigggginingg -- On MOn My Fiy Firsrstt

Sonne Sonne

3 3 The Song of

The Song of

the Old

Mother

(William

Words-worth)

worth)

Jealousy Jealousy Parent and Parent and Child Child Relationships Relationships Old woman Old woman complains about complains about her life; she is bitter her life; she is bitter towards the young towards the young

weary; bitter; weary; bitter; resigned; frustrated resigned; frustrated

-- WomenWomen’s chore’s chores are reps are repetitietitiveve through rhyming couplets and rhythm through rhyming couplets and rhythm ‘blow/glow’

‘blow/glow’

-- FocuseFocuses on s on her her lifelife ‘I rise/I must‘I rise/I must scrub’

scrub’ ObligationObligation

-- ConContratrast to yost to youngung ‘lie long and‘lie long and dream/ idleness’

dream/ idleness’Envious of Envious of ‘their‘their day’ day’ - Rhyming - Rhyming pairs of lines pairs of lines - Metre is - Metre is anapaest anapaest ic ic (2(2 unstressed & unstressed & then stressed then stressed syllable) syllable)

-- ‘fire’‘fire’is used as ais used as a metaphor of her life and metaphor of her life and tiredness First

tiredness First ‘flicker’‘flicker’ then

then ‘feeble and cold’‘feeble and cold’ - Simplistic

- Simplistic andand Monosyllabic Monosyllabic ‘And‘And then’

then’or or ‘because I am‘because I am old’

old’

-- AffAffliclictiotion n of of Margaret Margaret -- On On my my fifirsrstt

Sonne Sonne -- DiDigggginingg -- CaCatrtrinin N.B - Poet is N.B - Poet is sympathetic to the sympathetic to the

elderly. Young should elderly. Young should be helpful. be helpful.

4

4 Patrolling

Patrolling

Barnegat

(Walt

Whitman)

Nature Nature Love for Love for nature nature Danger Danger Poet describes a Poet describes a fierce storm that fierce storm that human cannot human cannot ‘patrol’ ‘patrol’ respect; admiration; respect; admiration; wariness; awe wariness; awe

-- WaWar-r-lilikeke ‘savegest trinity‘savegest trinity lashing/advancing/cutting swirl’ lashing/advancing/cutting swirl’ -- RepRepetietitiotionn – ‘wild, wild’– ‘wild, wild’

-- CoConfnfusiusionon ‘is that a wreck?’‘is that a wreck?’ -- EveEvery liry line endne endinging ‘ing’‘ing’makes stormmakes storm

imminent imminent

-- MeMetataphphor or ‘trinity’‘trinity’

- Free verse - Free verse - Uses - Uses present present participle participle ‘ing’ ‘ing’ -- OnomatopoeiaOnomatopoeia (Animism)

(Animism) ‘incessant‘incessant undertone muttering’ undertone muttering’ -- PersonificationPersonification ‘shouts‘shouts of demoniac laughter’ of demoniac laughter’ -- Alliteration of Alliteration of ‘s’‘s’ (line(line

6) sounds like waves of 6) sounds like waves of the ocean

the ocean

-- InInveversrsaiaidd -- SoSonnnneett -- StStororm on m on ththee

Island Island -- CoCold Kld Knanapp

Lake Lake

N.B – Good poem N.B – Good poem for analysis of for analysis of poetic poetic language’ language’

5

5 Sonnet

Sonnet

(John

Clare)

Nature Nature Love for Love for nature nature Poet is idealistic Poet is idealistic about summer about summer love; tranquillity; love; tranquillity; happiness happiness

--‘I love’‘I love’is repeated; clear declarationis repeated; clear declaration - Colourful

- Colourful ’white wool sack clouds’white wool sack clouds’’ and

and ‘bright beetles’‘bright beetles’

- No - No punctuation, punctuation, picturesque picturesque - Sonnet - Sonnet - alliterated sound - alliterated sound ‘where/reed/rustle/wind ‘where/reed/rustle/wind - Personifies nature - Personifies nature ‘summer beaming’ ‘summer beaming’ - Death of - Death of Naturalist Naturalist - Patrolling - Patrolling Barnegat Barnegat

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POEOEM M THTHEMEME E PEPERSRSPEPECTCTIVIV E & TONE E & TONE L LAANNGGUUAAGGE E SSTTRRUUCCTTUURRE E PPOOEETTIICC DEVICES DEVICES COMPA COMPA RI-SONS RI-SONS

1

1 _{At the}

_{At the}

Potato

Digging

Death Death Nature Nature Suffering Suffering

Heaney talks about Heaney talks about Potato Famine in Potato Famine in Ireland and its Ireland and its effects of killing effects of killing people. people. horror; pride; horror; pride; resilience resilience

-- Descriptive language, potatoes areDescriptive language, potatoes are seen as

seen as ‘pebbles’ ‘stone’‘pebbles’ ‘stone’ and later and later ‘putrefied’

‘putrefied’ -- Technical languageTechnical language

‘turf/bark/sod/mould’ ‘turf/bark/sod/mould’

-- Religious reference ‘famine godReligious reference‘famine god’’ and ‘

and ‘black Mother’black Mother’ andand ‘processional stopping’ ‘processional stopping’ -

- Hardship fHardship for peopleor people ‘mouths‘mouths tightened in, eyes die hard’ tightened in, eyes die hard’

- Loose Iambic metre - Loose Iambic metre in first & last section in first & last section - Second section has - Second section has less rhyme in an less rhyme in an irregular pattern irregular pattern - A clear ABAB - A clear ABAB rhyme scheme that rhyme scheme that breaks down in the breaks down in the

final line

final line ‘libations‘libations of cold tea, scatter of cold tea, scatter crumbs’

crumbs’

-- AlliterationAlliteration/ / Repetition -Repetition -‘hedge to headland’ ‘hedge to headland’ andand ‘‘ragged ranks’ragged ranks’

-- SimilieSimilie ‘like crows‘like crows attacking’

attacking’

-- Metaphor Metaphor ‘beaks of ‘beaks of famine snipped at guts’ famine snipped at guts’ (See contrast line 39 and (See contrast line 39 and 41) 41) -- OOn mn myy first Sonne first Sonne -- TThhee Affliction Affliction of M. of M. -- ThThe Fe Fieieldld

Mouse Mouse -- OcOctotobeber r

2

2 Digging

Digging

Parent andParent and Child Child Relationships Relationships Memories Memories Passage of Passage of Time Time

|Heaney is proud of |Heaney is proud of his grand(father) his grand(father) digging potatoes. digging potatoes. respect; admiration; respect; admiration; guilt; hearty guilt; hearty

-- Descriptive – digging is aDescriptive – digging is a ‘clean‘clean rasping sound’

rasping sound’;; ‘cool hardness’‘cool hardness’ (tactile);

(tactile); ‘nicking and slicing’‘nicking and slicing’ -- Technical – ‘turf/sods/soggy peat’Technical – ‘turf/sods/soggy peat’ -- Rhythm of digging ‘tall tops, Rhythm of digging ‘tall tops, buriedburied

the bright edge’ and

the bright edge’ and ‘down and‘down and down’

down’

-- Pride Pride ‘By god ‘By god the old man couldthe old man could handle a spade’

handle a spade’ (colloquial)(colloquial)

-- The poem consists of The poem consists of nine stanzas that vary nine stanzas that vary between two lines and between two lines and

five lines in length. five lines in length. There is no pattern to There is no pattern to the stanzas, perhaps to the stanzas, perhaps to reflect the idea that reflect the idea that there is no pattern or there is no pattern or predictability to our predictability to our

memories. memories.

-- AlliterationAlliteration‘spade sinks‘spade sinks into the gravely ground’ into the gravely ground’

-- OnomatopoeiaOnomatopoeia‘squelch‘squelch and slap’

and slap’

-- Extended metaphor Extended metaphor ‘through living rots ‘through living rots awaken in my head’ awaken in my head’ (Memories and roots) (Memories and roots)

-- OOn mn myy first Sonne first Sonne -- TThhee Affliction Affliction of M. of M. -- CaCatrtrinin -- CoCold ld KnKnapap Lake Lake -- MMaallii

3

3 Death

Death

of a

Naturalist

Nature Nature Love of Love of Nature Nature Danger Danger Little Heaney is Little Heaney is fascinated then fascinated then disgusted by frogs. disgusted by frogs. excitement; excitement; admiration; fear; admiration; fear; child-like child-like

-- SensualSensual‘festered/gargled/ heavy‘festered/gargled/ heavy headed’

headed’(British countryside)(British countryside)

-- Excitement of childExcitement of child‘nimble/burst/‘nimble/burst/ jellied specks’

jellied specks’

-- Childish -Childish - ‘daddy frog’ ‘slap/plop’‘daddy frog’ ‘slap/plop’

-- TechnicalTechnical- ‘flax-dam/sods’- ‘flax-dam/sods’

-- Disgust -Disgust -‘angry/gross-bellied’‘angry/gross-bellied’frogsfrogs

-- MilitaryMilitary ‘rank/cocked/invaded/grenades’ ‘rank/cocked/invaded/grenades’ - blank verse - blank verse (Un-rhyming lines (Un-rhyming lines each containing each containing five beats or feet.) five beats or feet.)

-- AssonanceAssonance‘punishing‘punishing sun

sun’’

-- Repetition of heavinessRepetition of heaviness ‘the warm thick ‘the warm thick slobber/grew like clotted slobber/grew like clotted water’

water’

-- Metaphor ‘Metaphor ‘great slimegreat slime kings’

kings’

-- SimileSimile‘loose necks pulsed‘loose necks pulsed like snails’

like snails’

-- InInveversrsnanaidid -- SoSonnnnetet -- PatPatrolrollinlingg

Barnegat Barnegat -- ThThe Fe Fieieldld

Mouse Mouse

4

4 Storm on

Storm on

the Island

Nature Nature Power of Power of Nature Nature Danger Danger

Poet describes the Poet describes the effects of a fierce effects of a fierce storm on the storm on the inhabitants inhabitants fear; helplessness; fear; helplessness; uncertainty, decline in uncertainty, decline in

-- InclusiveInclusive‘we are’‘we are’and personal/directand personal/direct ‘you can’ ‘you know what I mean’ ‘you can’ ‘you know what I mean’,, more impact

more impact

-- War-like imageryWar-like imagery‘blast/pummels/‘blast/pummels/ bombarded’

bombarded’

-- Repetition of Repetition of ‘no’‘no’

Language changes from security in lines Language changes from security in lines

- Iambic pentameter - Iambic pentameter lines - mostly blank lines - mostly blank verse, but with verse, but with half-rhyming couplets at rhyming couplets at the beginning and the beginning and end.

end.

- Metaphor

- Metaphor ‘space is a‘space is a salvo’

salvo’* (lots of guns firing* (lots of guns firing at once)

at once) - Wind

- Wind‘spits like a tame‘spits like a tame cat’

cat’and treesand trees‘raise a‘raise a tragic chorus’ tragic chorus’ -

- Sharp Sharp contrastscontrasts‘exploding‘exploding

-- InInveversrsnanaidid -- SoSonnnnetet -- PatPatrolrollinlingg

Barnegat Barnegat -- ThThe Fe Fieieldld

Mouse Mouse

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P POOEEM M TTHHEEMME E PPEERRSSPPEECCTTIIVV E & TONE E & TONE L LAANNGGUUAAGGE E SSTTRRUUCCTTUURR E E POE

POETIC TIC DEVDEVICEICES S COMPARCOMPAR I-SONS I-SONS

1

1 Catrin

Catrin

Parent and ChildParent and Child Relationships Relationships Memories Memories Love Love Growing Up Growing Up Clarke as a mother Clarke as a mother talks to her daughter talks to her daughter about struggle of birth about struggle of birth and their struggle now. and their struggle now. affectionate;

affectionate;

exasperation; yearning exasperation; yearning

-- Personal and directPersonal and direct‘I can remember‘I can remember you child’

you child’(1(1stst

line) line)

-- ConflictConflict‘fierce confrontation’‘fierce confrontation’andand ‘fought over’

‘fought over’

-- LoveLove‘with the wild, tender circles’‘with the wild, tender circles’.. Reflects their constant battle even at the Reflects their constant battle even at the end

end‘still I am fighting’.‘still I am fighting’.

-- ‘our struggle’‘our struggle’united yet wanting to beunited yet wanting to be ‘Separate’

‘Separate’

-- Short lines dividedShort lines divided into two stanzas. into two stanzas. The change from The change from the birth to skating the birth to skating in the 2nd stanza in the 2nd stanza implies struggle in implies struggle in intervening years intervening years and indicates time and indicates time has past.

has past.

-- Contrast, before her child lifeContrast, before her child life was normal

was normal ‘the people and‘the people and cars’

cars’

-- Metaphor ‘the tight red ropeMetaphor ‘the tight red rope of love’

of love’ (umbilical cord & love)(umbilical cord & love) -- Metaphor for screamingMetaphor for screaming

(foreshadows future struggle) (foreshadows future struggle) ‘I‘I wrote all over the walls with wrote all over the walls with my words’ my words’ -- On On My My fifirsrstt Sonne Sonne -- TThhee Affliction of Affliction of M. M. -- DiDigggginingg -- FoFollllowower er

2

2 A Difficult

A Difficult

Birth,

Easter

1998

Politics Politics (Good Friday (Good Friday Agreement of Agreement of Easter 1998 Easter 1998 promised peace in promised peace in Northern Ireland) Northern Ireland) Nature Nature Religion Religion Clarke describes an Clarke describes an old sheep giving old sheep giving birth – struggle is a birth – struggle is a metaphor for peace metaphor for peace in N.I in N.I hopeful; anxious; hopeful; anxious; relieved relieved

-- War and PeaceWar and Peace‘We thought her‘We thought her barren’

barren’andand‘exhausted, tamed by‘exhausted, tamed by pain’

pain’Refers to peace talks in Belfast.Refers to peace talks in Belfast.

-- Religious ReferencesReligious References‘quiet supper and‘quiet supper and bottle of wine’

bottle of wine’(Jesus’ last supper) and(Jesus’ last supper) and ‘lamb’

‘lamb’(Jesus) and(Jesus) and‘stone rolled away’‘stone rolled away’ symbol of his resurrection.

symbol of his resurrection.

-- Present tense used when talking aboutPresent tense used when talking about peace

peace‘we strain together/she drinks‘we strain together/she drinks him’

him’

-- EnjEnjambambmenment ot of f first 2 lines allow first 2 lines allow ideas to flow ideas to flow freely. freely. -- RegRegulaular 6 r 6 linlinee

stanzas stanzas

-- No rhyme makes No rhyme makes in unpredictable in unpredictable (serious tone) (serious tone)

-- Use of personal pronouns andUse of personal pronouns and direct to reader

direct to reader ‘we’d planned/you‘we’d planned/you find us’

find us’

-- Metaphor for hopeMetaphor for hope‘watch for car‘watch for car lights’

lights’

-- Metaphor for conflictMetaphor for conflict‘we strain‘we strain together…harder than we dared’ together…harder than we dared’

-- Metaphor for weak peaceMetaphor for weak peace ‘cradling’

‘cradling’vulnerable.vulnerable.

-- At tAt the Phe Pototatatoo Digging Digging

-- Storm on theStorm on the Island Island (nature) (nature) -- DiDigggginingg (Imagery) (Imagery)

3

3 _{The Field}

_{The Field}

Mouse

Nature Nature Parent/Child Parent/Child Relationships Relationships Danger Danger Politics Politics Death Death

Set in harvest time on Set in harvest time on a farm where a mouse a farm where a mouse gets hurt like innocent gets hurt like innocent victims of war in early victims of war in early 90’s

90’s former-Yugoslavia. Yugoslavia. serious; guilt; fear; serious; guilt; fear; distressed; sombre distressed; sombre

-- False sense of securityFalse sense of security‘summer’‘summer’andand ‘air hums/ sweetness’

‘air hums/ sweetness’ peaceful scene peaceful scene

-- Violent and war languageViolent and war language‘tractor‘tractor blade/crushed/’ (weapons) blade/crushed/’ (weapons)

-- PainPain‘agony, the field’s‘agony, the field’s hurt/bleeding/ /wounding’ hurt/bleeding/ /wounding’ -- Use of ‘we’ makes reader becomeUse of ‘we’ makes reader become

involved involved

-- Effects of war: ‘neighbour turnedEffects of war: ‘neighbour turned stranger’

stranger’like in former-Yugoslavialike in former-Yugoslavia

-- The pThe poem coem consonsististss of three stanzas of of three stanzas of 9 lines each. The 9 lines each. The lines are of varying lines are of varying lengths, perhaps to lengths, perhaps to reflect the freedom reflect the freedom of the natural of the natural world - or the lack world - or the lack of order in the of order in the war-torn world. torn world.

-- Metaphor 1Metaphor 1stst_line_{line ‘long grass is a}_{‘long grass is a}

snare drum’

snare drum’ andand ‘jets’‘jets’ reiterate war reiterate war far away.

far away.

-- OxymoronOxymoron ‘killed flowers’‘killed flowers’2nd2nd stanza focuses on death and agony. stanza focuses on death and agony.

-- OnomatopoeiaOnomatopoeia ‘stammering with‘stammering with gunfire’

gunfire’

-- Alliteration & Simile ‘Alliteration & Simile ‘bones brittlebones brittle as mouse-ribs’

as mouse-ribs’ -

- Land is personified Land is personified ‘pain won’t‘pain won’t heal/ bleeding’

heal/ bleeding’

-- PaPatrtrolollilingng Barnegat Barnegat -- SoSonnnneett -- At tAt the Phe Pototatatoo

Digging Digging -- StStororm on m on ththee

Island Island

4

4 Cold Knap

Cold Knap

Lake

Memories Memories Danger Danger Closing Couplet Closing Couplet Parent/Child Parent/Child Relationships Relationships

Poet describes her Poet describes her mother rescued a mother rescued a drowning girl from a drowning girl from a lake. But is it real? lake. But is it real? admiration; admiration; confusion; wonder; confusion; wonder; melancholy melancholy

-- Dramatic descriptions make the storyDramatic descriptions make the story surreal. The girl is

surreal. The girl is‘dressed in water’s‘dressed in water’s long green silk’

long green silk’(also metaphor)(also metaphor) -- Questioning ‘Was I there?’Questioning ‘Was I there?’

-- ShockingShocking‘watched her thrashed for‘watched her thrashed for almost drowning’

almost drowning’violent imageviolent image

-- Spectator is uncertainSpectator is uncertain‘shadowy/mud‘shadowy/mud blooms in cloudiness’

blooms in cloudiness’

-- MaiMainly nly regregulaular r pattern: pattern:

the stanzas consist the stanzas consist alternately of 4 alternately of 4 lines and 6 lines, lines and 6 lines, although the lines although the lines are of varying are of varying lengths. It ends lengths. It ends with a rhyming with a rhyming

-- Mother’s braveryMother’s bravery ‘kneeling/a‘kneeling/a heroine/head bowed’

heroine/head bowed’exaggeratedexaggerated

-- Lots of colour, visualLots of colour, visual ‘blue-lipped/‘blue-lipped/ green/rosy/red’

green/rosy/red’ (primary colours(primary colours that children like)

that children like)

-- AlliterationAlliteration ‘drawn by the dread of ‘drawn by the dread of it’

it’ andand ‘breathing, bleating’‘breathing, bleating’

-- absence of sound, tensionabsence of sound, tension ‘silent’‘silent’

-- DiDigggginingg -- StStororm on m on ththee

Island Island -- Sonnet 130Sonnet 130 (closing (closing couplet) couplet)