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“Move over, ayahuasca. Looks like the magic toad ride is “Move over, ayahuasca. Looks like the magic toad ride is

the next big thing for entheogenic explorers.” the next big thing for entheogenic explorers.”

—Don Lattin, bestselling author of

—Don Lattin, bestselling author of Te Harvard Te Harvard

Psychedelic Club Psychedelic Club

“The author has had an astounding and intense life that “The author has had an astounding and intense life that he shares in his gentle and honest story. Most serious he shares in his gentle and honest story. Most serious psychedelic explorers remain fixated on the psychedelic psychedelic explorers remain fixated on the psychedelic that first opened them to larger consciousness. Few that first opened them to larger consciousness. Few people have had as much, as varied, and as meaningful people have had as much, as varied, and as meaningful psychedelic experiences. Given the sheer volume of his psychedelic experiences. Given the sheer volume of his experiences, as he himself says, most people would’ve experiences, as he himself says, most people would’ve become insane. Instead, he became a practicing become insane. Instead, he became a practicing physi-cian and now divides his time between his medical cian and now divides his time between his medical practice and helping people make the best possible use of practice and helping people make the best possible use of the shor

the short acting, t acting, ‘most power‘most powerful entheoful entheogen,gen,’ 5-MeO-DM’ 5-MeO-DMTT..

His teaching is a gift, as is this book about it.” His teaching is a gift, as is this book about it.”

—James Fadiman, PhD, microdose researcher and —James Fadiman, PhD, microdose researcher and

author of

author of Te Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide: Safe,Te Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide: Safe,

Terapeutic, and Sacred Journeys Terapeutic, and Sacred Journeys

“Dr

“Dr. Gerr. Gerry is the Indiana Jones of the psychedelic world, asy is the Indiana Jones of the psychedelic world, as

we

we join join him ihim in an n an adventure eadventure ever ver deeper deeper down the down the rabbitrabbit

hole to discover the long forgotten Holy Grail of hole to discover the long forgotten Holy Grail of psyche-delics: 5-MeO-DMT, the God molecule.”

delics: 5-MeO-DMT, the God molecule.”

—Alexander George Ward, shamanic artist, illustrator —Alexander George Ward, shamanic artist, illustrator

of

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“Dr. Gerardo Sandoval’s detailed account of his “Dr. Gerardo Sandoval’s detailed account of his

entheo-gen usage in

gen usage in Te God Molecule Te God Molecule takes the reader on a takes the reader on a

fascinating journey as he shares his personal fascinating journey as he shares his personal experi-ences of self-discovery and transformation. His authentic ences of self-discovery and transformation. His authentic approach to enlightenment is refreshing!”

approach to enlightenment is refreshing!”

—Shelly Wilson, intuitive medium, conscious creator, —Shelly Wilson, intuitive medium, conscious creator,

and author of

and author of 28 Days to a New YOU, Connect to the28 Days to a New YOU, Connect to the

YOU Within

YOU Within and and Journey into Consciousness Journey into Consciousness

“Is there a ‘God molecule,’ and, if so, what are the effects “Is there a ‘God molecule,’ and, if so, what are the effects

of a deficiency of this precious substance? In its absence, of a deficiency of this precious substance? In its absence,

our ambitious-but-destructive quest for meaning has our ambitious-but-destructive quest for meaning has led to the near undoing of the world. It’s time to return led to the near undoing of the world. It’s time to return to center, to glimpse the secrets that have resided within to center, to glimpse the secrets that have resided within

us all along. Let the bufo toad lead you home, and let Dr. us all along. Let the bufo toad lead you home, and let Dr.

Gerardo Ruben

Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac lSandoval Isaac lead you ead you to the to the toad.toad.””

—Daniel Vitalis, ReWild Yourself Podcast; founder of —Daniel Vitalis, ReWild Yourself Podcast; founder of

SurThrival.com SurThrival.com

“Let the post-secular revelation revolution begin! Access “Let the post-secular revelation revolution begin! Access to God is inside our brains through neurochemical to God is inside our brains through neurochemical path- ways.

ways. Read Read DrDr. . GerrGerry’y’s s journey journey to to truth truth and and the the infinitinfinitee

one in everyone.” one in everyone.”

—Alex Grey, visionary artist —Alex Grey, visionary artist

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THE

G

O

D

M O L E C U L E

My Journey to 5-MeO-DMT

and the Spiritual Path to Divine Light

Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac, MD, OB-GYN

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Published by DIVINE ARTS

DivineArtsMedia.com

An imprint of Michael Wiese Productions

12400 Ventura Blvd. #1111 12400 Ventura Blvd. #1111 Studio City, CA 91604 Studio City, CA 91604 (818) 379-8799, (818) (818) 379-8799, (818) 986-3408 (FAX)986-3408 (FAX)

Editors: Geraldine Overton and Gary Sunshine

Layout artist:

Layout artist: William MorosWilliam Morosii

Cover Design: John Brenner

Cover Art: J

Printed by McNaughton & Gunn,

Printed by McNaughton & Gunn, Inc., Saline, MichiganInc., Saline, Michigan

Note to the Reader: The information provided in this book is for educational, historical,

and cultural interest only and should not be construed as advocacy for the use or ingestion

of 5-MeO-DMT or other psychedelics. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any

responsibility for physical, psychological, or social consequences resulting from the

inges-tion of these substances or their derivatives.

tion of these substances or their derivatives.

T

Text set in ext set in 11-point Utopia with headings in 18-point Geogrotesque Semibold11-point Utopia with headings in 18-point Geogrotesque Semibold

Manufactured in the United States of America

without permission in writ

without permission in writing from the author, except for the inclusion ing from the author, except for the inclusion of brief of brief quotationsquotations

in a review.

Library of

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-PublicaCongress Cataloging-in-Publication Datation Data

Names: Isaac, Gerardo Ruben Sandoval, 1979- author.

Title: The God molecule: 5-MeO-DMT and the spiritual

Title: The God molecule: 5-MeO-DMT and the spiritual path to divinepath to divine

light / Dr

light / Dr. Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac; edited by Charles W. M. Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac; edited by Charles W. Mitchell.itchell.

Description: Studio City, CA : Divine

Description: Studio City, CA : Divine Arts, 2016. | Includes bibliographicalArts, 2016. | Includes bibliographical

references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2015049481 | ISBN 9781611250497

Subjects: LCSH: Hallucinogenic drugs and religious experience. |

Dimethyltryptamine.

Classification: LCC BL65.D7 I83 2016 | DDC 204/.2--dc23

LC record

LC record availablavailable at e at https://lccn.loc.gohttps://lccn.loc.gov/2015049481v/2015049481

Printed on Recycled Stock

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VIII VIII

Foreword

x x

... Let There Be Light!

11

5-MeO-DMT: A Brief Chronology

6 6

The Search for the God Molecule

8 8

The Beginning

10 10

The Dream

1144

Real de Catorce

2121

The Peyote Experience

3434

San José Pacifico

49 49

The Entheogenic Experience

5353

The Lost Treasure

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IX

Medical School

78 78

Nepal and India

86 86

The Salvia Experiment

9393

The Fall into the Pit

99 99

Bufo alvarius

_{: The Sonoran Desert Toad}

₁₀₇₁₀₇

The Transfiguration

1116 16

The Outcome

120 120

My Statement

135 135

Toad Message to the World

1140 40

Bibliography

114343

V

aporizi

ng

5-MeO-

DMT f

rom

Bufo alvarius

_{as an Entheogen:}

A

Retrospec

ti

ve

Case

Control St

udy

1148 48

Seri Chants from the Comca’ac Nation,

Punta Chueca, Sonora, Mexico

156 156

Dr. Gerry’s Invocation

158 158

About t

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X

FOREWORD

5-MeO-DMT

5-MeO-DMT — the world’s most powerful entheogen. — the world’s most powerful entheogen.

The crown jewel. The crown jewel. The God molecule. The God molecule.

The tool that allows us to experience the fullness of The tool that allows us to experience the fullness of that which we truly are — the divine light of God that is that which we truly are — the divine light of God that is the source and substance of all of reality.

the source and substance of all of reality. The revelation of That Which Truly Is. The revelation of That Which Truly Is.

This is the story of one man’s journey into the pure This is the story of one man’s journey into the pure light of being. Like many who have experienced the light of being. Like many who have experienced the grace and power of 5-MeO-DMT, in the form of the grace and power of 5-MeO-DMT, in the form of the entheogenic secretions of the Sonoran Desert toad, Dr. entheogenic secretions of the Sonoran Desert toad, Dr. Gerardo Ruben Sandov

Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac has al Isaac has chosen to share chosen to share thisthis

most profound experience with others, both through most profound experience with others, both through providing 5-MeO sessions with patients, and now, providing 5-MeO sessions with patients, and now, through this book.

through this book.

He begins his story with his choice to seek after He begins his story with his choice to seek after the magical peyote cactus, initiating his journey into the magical peyote cactus, initiating his journey into

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F O R E W O R D

F O R E W O R D XIXI the world of entheogens at the young age of thirteen.

the world of entheogens at the young age of thirteen. A

A seeseeker ker of of knowknowledgledge, e, the the as-yas-yet-toet-to-be -be DrDr. . GerGerryry

dives fully into the quest for experience of the mystical, dives fully into the quest for experience of the mystical, magical, and inner-knowing afforded by entheogens, magical, and inner-knowing afforded by entheogens, pursuing LSD, psilocybin mushroom, and

pursuing LSD, psilocybin mushroom, and Salvia divi-Salvia

divi-norum,

norum, while simultaneously earning a degree in while simultaneously earning a degree in

medicine, ever seeking his place, his purpose, and the medicine, ever seeking his place, his purpose, and the fullness of his being.

fullness of his being. Whe

When n eveevents nts turturn n dardark k in in his his liflife, e, he he eveeventu-

ntu-ally turns to more destructive substances, becoming ally turns to more destructive substances, becoming addicted to crack. What turns his life around is his addicted to crack. What turns his life around is his experience with 5-MeO-DMT, the most astounding experience with 5-MeO-DMT, the most astounding entheogenic substance available to humanity. Now, he entheogenic substance available to humanity. Now, he has embraced as his mission the sharing of the has embraced as his mission the sharing of the won-ders of 5-MeO-DMT with the world. As he expresses it, ders of 5-MeO-DMT with the world. As he expresses it, now is the time that humanity needs this potent now is the time that humanity needs this potent medi-cine more than ever.

cine more than ever.

If anything has the ability to help humanity turn the If anything has the ability to help humanity turn the corner of its current misguided and destructive ways, it corner of its current misguided and destructive ways, it is 5-MeO-DMT. Nothing else has the power to so is 5-MeO-DMT. Nothing else has the power to so

radi-cally and effectively rip away the multilayered masks of cally and effectively rip away the multilayered masks of illusion and false identity that humans have created for illusion and false identity that humans have created for themselves, to starkly, lovingly, fiercely, and powerfully themselves, to starkly, lovingly, fiercely, and powerfully reveal the true divine nature of all reality. Underneath reveal the true divine nature of all reality. Underneath all the confusion, all the games, all the projections, the all the confusion, all the games, all the projections, the hate, the fear, the attachments, the judgments of self hate, the fear, the attachments, the judgments of self

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T H E

T H E G O D G O D M O L E C U L E M O L E C U L E S A N D O V A L S A N D O V A L I S A A CI S A A C

XII

and other, there is only God — one eternal being of and other, there is only God — one eternal being of

pure energy, light, awareness, and infinite love. It is the pure energy, light, awareness, and infinite love. It is the birthright of every human to experience this reality for birthright of every human to experience this reality for

him- or herself, for this is what we truly are, and him- or herself, for this is what we truly are, and 5-MeO-DMT is the ultimate tool for helping individuals realize DMT is the ultimate tool for helping individuals realize this for themselves. This is a truth that cannot be taught, this for themselves. This is a truth that cannot be taught, cannot be simply “believed” — it is something that can cannot be simply “believed” — it is something that can only be genuinely appreciated through the vehicle of only be genuinely appreciated through the vehicle of

direct experience. 5-MeO-DMT makes this possible in a direct experience. 5-MeO-DMT makes this possible in a way that is

way that is incomparable to incomparable to any other many other method in ethod in its effi-its

effi-ciency and immediacy. ciency and immediacy.

Entheogens have the power to turn a life around. Entheogens have the power to turn a life around. 5-MeO-DMT just might have the power to turn the 5-MeO-DMT just might have the power to turn the worl

world d around. around. As As DrDr. . GerrGerry y wriwrites, tes, there there is is nothnothinging

that is “unnatural” in the unified reality that is God. that is “unnatural” in the unified reality that is God. 5-MeO-DMT radically affects human self-awareness 5-MeO-DMT radically affects human self-awareness and reveals something profound about reality. The key and reveals something profound about reality. The key to understanding the origins of everything, including to understanding the origins of everything, including the individual self, is right here, and every human who the individual self, is right here, and every human who desires it should inherently have the right to experience desires it should inherently have the right to experience it. Anyone who has had the opportunity to it. Anyone who has had the opportunity to experi-ence 5-MeO-DMT knows this is it. This is the reality of ence 5-MeO-DMT knows this is it. This is the reality of who and

who and what we what we are. The big are. The big bang, the bang, the divine light divine light ofof

creation and all being is right here, right now, in this creation and all being is right here, right now, in this experience, and lived in this very existence that each of experience, and lived in this very existence that each of us finds ourselves living through.

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F O R E W O R D

F O R E W O R D XIIIXIII In the world of entheogenic literature, there are only

In the world of entheogenic literature, there are only a handful of authors who have written at any length on a handful of authors who have written at any length on 5-MeO-DMT, such as myself, James Oroc, and Ralph 5-MeO-DMT, such as myself, James Oroc, and Ralph Metzner. It is a pleasure to see that we can now add Metzner. It is a pleasure to see that we can now add Dr. Gerry to the slowly growing list of those who would Dr. Gerry to the slowly growing list of those who would share knowledge of this most profound molecule with share knowledge of this most profound molecule with the world. This work here is personal, tragic, ecstatic, the world. This work here is personal, tragic, ecstatic, reckless, and healing. The entheogenic path of reckless, and healing. The entheogenic path of self-knowledge is always an unusual one, with many strange knowledge is always an unusual one, with many strange twists and turns along the way. For those committed to twists and turns along the way. For those committed to Truth and Genuine Being, however, it is invaluable, and Truth and Genuine Being, however, it is invaluable, and holds the greatest of gifts, as Dr. Gerry learned — the holds the greatest of gifts, as Dr. Gerry learned — the revelation of the divine nature of everything and the revelation of the divine nature of everything and the universal self that is God. That such a profound gift can universal self that is God. That such a profound gift can come from the secretions of a desert toad is perhaps one come from the secretions of a desert toad is perhaps one of the great cosmic curiosities of existence —

of the great cosmic curiosities of existence — who wouldwho would

have guessed that a toad might hold the key to the have guessed that a toad might hold the key to the ulti-mate transformation of human life? As I wrote in my mate transformation of human life? As I wrote in my novel

novel Beyond AzaraBeyond Azara, “No one suspects the toad.”, “No one suspects the toad.”

It is a pleasure to see Dr. Gerry sharing his light, It is a pleasure to see Dr. Gerry sharing his light, his life, and his insights with all of us through the his life, and his insights with all of us through the vehi-cle of this book. The time is right for the world to know cle of this book. The time is right for the world to know about 5-MeO-DMT, and having the perspective of a about 5-MeO-DMT, and having the perspective of a doctor who has passed through the rigors of his own doctor who has passed through the rigors of his own journey,

journey, and and his his insight insight through through healing healing others others withwith

5-MeO-DMT, is an important addition to information 5-MeO-DMT, is an important addition to information

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T H E

XIV

about 5-MeO-DMT. We are perhaps on the precipice about 5-MeO-DMT. We are perhaps on the precipice of a radical change in human cultures in the of a radical change in human cultures in the mod-ern world — a time when entheogenic medicines are ern world — a time when entheogenic medicines are accepted, supported, and given the legitimacy that they accepted, supported, and given the legitimacy that they so rightly deserve. Entheogenic medicines can assist so rightly deserve. Entheogenic medicines can assist in the healing of mental, emotional, and physical in the healing of mental, emotional, and physical dis-orders. And most importantly, can help individuals orders. And most importantly, can help individuals transcend the false realities they have created for transcend the false realities they have created for them-selves, and assist in the ultimate healing that comes selves, and assist in the ultimate healing that comes from direct experience of the divine nature of being. from direct experience of the divine nature of being. The time is now, and there is no time to waste. This The time is now, and there is no time to waste. This is the healing the world needs, and we can thank Dr. is the healing the world needs, and we can thank Dr. Gerry for doing his part as a vehicle for the infinite light Gerry for doing his part as a vehicle for the infinite light that we truly are.

that we truly are.

Let there be light. Let there be light. The toad is happy. The toad is happy. M�� W. B��, PhD M�� W. B��, PhD

Author

Author ofof Being Inﬁnite: An Entheogenic Odyssey into the LimitlessBeing Inﬁnite: An Entheogenic Odyssey into the Limitless Eternal — A Memoir from Ayahuasca to Zen

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6 6

5-MeO-DMT:

A BRIEF CHRONOLOGY

>2000

>2000 years years BCE BCE Evidence Evidence of of humans humans using using DMT DMT inin

Central and South American snuffs Central and South American snuffs 1855

1855 First First report report of of ayahuasca ayahuasca useuse

1931

1931 DMT DMT first first synthesized synthesized by by RichardRichard

Manske Manske 1936

1936 5-MeO-DMT 5-MeO-DMT is is synthesizedsynthesized

1956

1956 Stephen Stephen Szara Szara reports reports psychedelicpsychedelic

effects of DMT effects of DMT 1963

1963 5-MeO-DMT 5-MeO-DMT isolated isolated fromfrom Anade-

Anade-nathera peregrina

nathera peregrina or yopo seeds or yopo seeds

from Amazon Indian snuffs from Amazon Indian snuffs 1965

1965 5-MeO-DMT 5-MeO-DMT discovered discovered in in thethe

venom of

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5 - M E O - D M T

5 - M E O - D M T : : A A B R I E F B R I E F C H R O N O L O G YC H R O N O L O G Y 77 1960s

1960s Nick Nick Sand Sand discovers discovers synthetic synthetic DMTDMT

could be smoked could be smoked 1960

1960 – – 1970s 1970s William William Burroughs Burroughs injects injects himselfhimself

with DMT with DMT 1970

1970 DMTDMT, , LSD, LSD, and and mescaline mescaline classifiedclassified

as schedule I drugs in the Controlled as schedule I drugs in the Controlled Substances Act

Substances Act 1990s

1990s Richard Richard Strassman Strassman FDA FDA approvedapproved

clinical trials clinical trials 2001

2001 Te Spirit Molecule Te Spirit Molecule published published

2004

2004 My My first first DMT DMT experienceexperience

2005

2005 My My first first 5-MeO-DMT 5-MeO-DMT experienceexperience

2006

2006 My My first first toad toad hunt hunt in in the the SonoranSonoran

Desert Desert The

The present present 5-MeO-DMT 5-MeO-DMT is is Schedule Schedule I I in in thethe

US and restricted in Denmark, US and restricted in Denmark, Ger-many, Greece, Japan, New Zealand, many, Greece, Japan, New Zealand, Sweden, Switzerland, and the UK. Sweden, Switzerland, and the UK.

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T H E

8

THE SEA

RCH FOR THE GOD

MOLECULE

I

am a medicine man who had to face my own disease,am a medicine man who had to face my own disease,

my own demons, and experience multiple deaths, in my own demons, and experience multiple deaths, in order to fully heal myself by taking my own medicine. order to fully heal myself by taking my own medicine. Only then could I begin to realize my larger dream: Only then could I begin to realize my larger dream: to harness the power of my personal discoveries and to harness the power of my personal discoveries and begin to help heal humanity.

begin to help heal humanity.

The journey that led me to the God molecule, The journey that led me to the God molecule, 5-MeO-DMT, is that of a human being on the hunt for 5-MeO-DMT, is that of a human being on the hunt for divinity. Ever since I realized at a young age that we divinity. Ever since I realized at a young age that we are born into a sick society that needs deep-root are born into a sick society that needs deep-root heal-ing, my search for God, truth, love, and the true Light ing, my search for God, truth, love, and the true Light has defined my life. As you will learn from the pages has defined my life. As you will learn from the pages that follow, this long and arduous trek began with my that follow, this long and arduous trek began with my doubting the Catholic religion into which I was born. doubting the Catholic religion into which I was born. My education continued with the bitter lessons of the My education continued with the bitter lessons of the sacred peyote cactus, the aggressive teachings of the sacred peyote cactus, the aggressive teachings of the sacred landslide mushroom, all the way to the top of sacred landslide mushroom, all the way to the top of the pyramid when I first “kissed” the Sonoran Desert the pyramid when I first “kissed” the Sonoran Desert toad and reached the crown jewel: the God molecule, 5 toad and reached the crown jewel: the God molecule, 5 Methoxy dimethyltryptamine.

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T H E S E A R C H F O R T H E G O D M O L E C U L E

T H E S E A R C H F O R T H E G O D M O L E C U L E 99 It was through this journey that I was able to ask

It was through this journey that I was able to ask and answer the most fundamental questions: Who and answer the most fundamental questions: Who am I?

am I? What am What am I? I? Even though mEven though my life exposed me y life exposed me toto

many different paths, it was only through 5-MeO-DMT, many different paths, it was only through 5-MeO-DMT, the God molecule, that I was able to experience total the God molecule, that I was able to experience total ego dissolution and the full union of the Self with God/ ego dissolution and the full union of the Self with God/ infinity/eternity.

infinity/eternity. As

As humans humans we we have have always always felt felt distant distant from from thethe

Whole,

Whole, forced forced to to believe believe that that we we were were expelleexpelled d fromfrom

the Garden of Eden, obliged to build a concrete jungle the Garden of Eden, obliged to build a concrete jungle in which we have to survive. Reality describes a world in which we have to survive. Reality describes a world filled with fear, pain, and suffering. Entheogens — filled with fear, pain, and suffering. Entheogens — plants that give us visionary experiences — provide the plants that give us visionary experiences — provide the means to feel we are part of something divine, means to feel we are part of something divine, some-thing way bigger than what our human mind is capable thing way bigger than what our human mind is capable of creating. A life filled with joy and meaning. The God of creating. A life filled with joy and meaning. The God molecule gives humans the chance to feel that we are molecule gives humans the chance to feel that we are connected to everything that is and that will always be. connected to everything that is and that will always be. It is our ticket back home.

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10

THE BE

GINNI

NG

I

was was born born in in the the conseconservatrvative ive city city of of GuadalGuadalajara, ajara, inin

the state of Jalisco, Mexico, on a cold night on the the state of Jalisco, Mexico, on a cold night on the 15th of February 1979. I came early into this world, 15th of February 1979. I came early into this world, barely seven months into my mother’s pregnancy, barely seven months into my mother’s pregnancy, and already I wanted to see everything with my own and already I wanted to see everything with my own eyes. My mother recalls the visit of Pope John Paul II eyes. My mother recalls the visit of Pope John Paul II to our city during this time. My mom lived very close to our city during this time. My mom lived very close to a monastery that the pope planned to visit. So to a monastery that the pope planned to visit. So she decided to go out in the street to watch him up she decided to go out in the street to watch him up close and personal. She recalls the pope seeing her close and personal. She recalls the pope seeing her and making a stop and touching her belly (me). He and making a stop and touching her belly (me). He smiled at her and gave her his customary slight slap smiled at her and gave her his customary slight slap on the cheek as a token of appreciation. My mom on the cheek as a token of appreciation. My mom said I immediately started to kick; she began to have said I immediately started to kick; she began to have slight contractions that got worse to the point that I slight contractions that got worse to the point that I gave my mom a premature delivery exacerbated by gave my mom a premature delivery exacerbated by

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T H E B E G I N N I N G

T H E B E G I N N I N G 1111 two large benign tumors on her uterus that constantly

two large benign tumors on her uterus that constantly pressured me.

pressured me.

“Too premature,” they said. I began my life, my “Too premature,” they said. I began my life, my first three months of life, in the pediatrics ICU. I was first three months of life, in the pediatrics ICU. I was born too premature, with severe jaundice. I was kept born too premature, with severe jaundice. I was kept under direct UV light with a small bandage covering under direct UV light with a small bandage covering my eyes, totally naked, to fight the liver insufficiency of my eyes, totally naked, to fight the liver insufficiency of my prematurity; my mom offered me her breast and I my prematurity; my mom offered me her breast and I did not know what to do with it. I was too premature did not know what to do with it. I was too premature to have developed the instinct of sucking. So small to have developed the instinct of sucking. So small that my mother told me I used to fit in a shoebox. “He that my mother told me I used to fit in a shoebox. “He is not going to make it,” nurses commented to is not going to make it,” nurses commented to them-selves. But mom kept faith and everyday brought me selves. But mom kept faith and everyday brought me my breast milk and passed it through a catheter into my breast milk and passed it through a catheter into my belly through my mouth, and talked endlessly as if I my belly through my mouth, and talked endlessly as if I understood everything.

understood everything.

“Why do you talk to him?” a nurse asked her. “He “Why do you talk to him?” a nurse asked her. “He is going to be very smart, I know it,” she replied. If only is going to be very smart, I know it,” she replied. If only she had known. As if she knew of my purpose. But any she had known. As if she knew of my purpose. But any true mother has this maternal instinct of doing true mother has this maternal instinct of doing every-thing for her offspring.

thing for her offspring.

Raised in high society and educated in the best Raised in high society and educated in the best schools money could buy, I learned English along with schools money could buy, I learned English along with my mother tongue, Spanish, starting at age three, by my mother tongue, Spanish, starting at age three, by private tutoring.

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T H E

12

I did my fifth year of elementary school in the US, I did my fifth year of elementary school in the US, won the

won the ““OptimusOptimus” award for best student out of three” award for best student out of three

hundred and sixty, and got a dozen medals for being hundred and sixty, and got a dozen medals for being the most outstanding student at Oaklawn Academy in the most outstanding student at Oaklawn Academy in Edgerton, Wisconsin, from 1989 to 1990.

Edgerton, Wisconsin, from 1989 to 1990.

I learned to speak, write, and read some Japanese I learned to speak, write, and read some Japanese (both native alphabets Hiragana and Katakana and (both native alphabets Hiragana and Katakana and very

very little little kanji) kanji) at at age age twelve, twelve, Italian Italian at at fifteen, fifteen, and and aa

bit of German (while I lived in Bad Godesberg during bit of German (while I lived in Bad Godesberg during my postgraduate studies) and a bit of Nahuatl (Aztec my postgraduate studies) and a bit of Nahuatl (Aztec tongue).

tongue).

So I am lucky in a way that I was born in a So I am lucky in a way that I was born in a priv-ileged social class, traveled around the world to more ileged social class, traveled around the world to more than twenty-five countries, and learned from than twenty-five countries, and learned from differ-ent cultures; for a Mexican I was indeed lucky… I am ent cultures; for a Mexican I was indeed lucky… I am Lucky Gerry.

Lucky Gerry.

Ever since I came to this world I was surprised by Ever since I came to this world I was surprised by the amount of suffering and dissatisfaction in which the amount of suffering and dissatisfaction in which humanity lived. Even though I got the

humanity lived. Even though I got the best toys an ordi-best toys an

ordi-nary Mexican boy could have, I wanted something nary Mexican boy could have, I wanted something different… something I did not get at home. Both my different… something I did not get at home. Both my parents were workaholics and only came home to eat parents were workaholics and only came home to eat and sleep. So my sisters and I pretty much learned stuff and sleep. So my sisters and I pretty much learned stuff on our own by comparing and questioning what we on our own by comparing and questioning what we learned at school.

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T H E B E G I N N I N G

T H E B E G I N N I N G 1313 I felt and resented my parents’ absence. I would

I felt and resented my parents’ absence. I would have traded all my toys for quality time with them. But have traded all my toys for quality time with them. But as people say, “one never chooses his parents.” I was as people say, “one never chooses his parents.” I was affected by poverty, sicknesses, pain, unfairness, and affected by poverty, sicknesses, pain, unfairness, and just l

just like tiny ike tiny Buddha, I Buddha, I had to had to do something do something about it…about it…

no matter what. I decided to “stop the World,” as no matter what. I decided to “stop the World,” as Car-los Castaneda mentioned in his book

los Castaneda mentioned in his book Te eachings ofTe eachings of

Don Juan. Don Juan.

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14

THE DR

THE DRE

EAM

AM

B

y age twelve, I started having repeated dr y age twelve, I started having repeated dreams. I ameams. I am

very

very fond fond of of the the Mexican Mexican pre-Hispanic pre-Hispanic culturescultures; ; II

was amazed at

was amazed at their vision of their vision of the cosmos the cosmos and their reli-and their

reli-gious aspects. It was fascinating stuff for me. I loved gious aspects. It was fascinating stuff for me. I loved going to the pyramids in my country. I knew there was going to the pyramids in my country. I knew there was a lost connection that needed to be found.

a lost connection that needed to be found.

I started having a repeated dream. I dreamt of I started having a repeated dream. I dreamt of walki

walking ng for for hours hours in in the the deserdesert t in in search search of of peyotpeyote.e.

“Funny,” I thought. I didn’t even know what that was “Funny,” I thought. I didn’t even know what that was and yet I kept dreaming of it. So I went to my dad’s and yet I kept dreaming of it. So I went to my dad’s library and looked over the

library and looked over the Encyclopedia of MexicoEncyclopedia of Mexico and and

read about it. read about it.

Peyote.

Peyote. (n) from the Aztec word “ (n) from the Aztec word “peyotl peyotl ,” refers to a hal-,” refers to a

hal-lucinogenic cactus that grows in Northern Mexico and the

lucinogenic cactus that grows in Northern Mexico and the

Southwestern US, used by the Indians in their rituals and

ceremonies to communicate with their gods and deities.

Also called

Also called jucuri jucuri ororhikurihikuri meaning “Light of God” by themeaning “Light of God” by the

Huichol and Raramuri Indians.

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T H E D R E A M

T H E D R E A M 1515 “Unreal!” I thought. I immediately asked our maid

“Unreal!” I thought. I immediately asked our maid about it and to my surprise she told me that she lived about it and to my surprise she told me that she lived very close to a place where many “

very close to a place where many “gringos” and forgringos” and foreign-

eign-ers go to eat peyote, Real de Catorce. Inspired by my ers go to eat peyote, Real de Catorce. Inspired by my impulsive personality, I immediately organized a short impulsive personality, I immediately organized a short trip to this place, telling my parents that I would spend trip to this place, telling my parents that I would spend the weekend at my best friend’s house.

the weekend at my best friend’s house.

So there I was in the Guadalajara Bus Station for So there I was in the Guadalajara Bus Station for the adventure of my life and only thirteen years old. My the adventure of my life and only thirteen years old. My first adventure on my own! Suddenly a

funny-first adventure on my own! Suddenly a funny-lookinglooking

guy, skinny with long hair, dressed in white cotton guy, skinny with long hair, dressed in white cotton clothes, wearing a necklace made of flowers, stepped clothes, wearing a necklace made of flowers, stepped in front of me and asked if I was going to Real de in front of me and asked if I was going to Real de Catorce.

Catorce. How would he know? How would he know? I thought to myself. He I thought to myself. He

was

was a a Hare Krishna Hare Krishna named Rinamed Ricardocardo. . As As he he introducedintroduced

Lophophora

williamsii

williamsii, peyote, peyote

cactus

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T H E

16

himself, he told me he had been going to the desert himself, he told me he had been going to the desert for some time now on a regular basis to eat peyote and for some time now on a regular basis to eat peyote and he was willing to show me around and recommend a he was willing to show me around and recommend a place to stay.

place to stay.

“Cool,” I said. I could not have planned it better. “Cool,” I said. I could not have planned it better. After

After a a twelve-hour twelve-hour bus bus ride ride we we finally finally made made it it toto

Estación Catorce in San Luis Potosi, a train station in Estación Catorce in San Luis Potosi, a train station in the middle of the desert in front of the mountains of the middle of the desert in front of the mountains of Sierra de Catorce. The train went from Laredo, Texas, to Sierra de Catorce. The train went from Laredo, Texas, to Mexico City and back.

Mexico City and back.

It was 1994. He told me there were only two places It was 1994. He told me there were only two places to stay at Estación Catorce: “Jefa” Margarita’s place or to stay at Estación Catorce: “Jefa” Margarita’s place or Dona Saba’s. Both offered a room and a public bathroom Dona Saba’s. Both offered a room and a public bathroom for a dollar per day. Famous

for a dollar per day. Famous peyoterospeyoteros or peyote seekers or peyote seekers

stayed in these places, making a pseudo community of stayed in these places, making a pseudo community of psychedelic people who would share experiences in a psychedelic people who would share experiences in a common space.

common space. W

We e stayed stayed at at JefaJefa’’s s place. place. Jefa Jefa (“(“chiefchief”) ”) MargaritaMargarita

was

was an an old old woman woman blinded blinded by by smoky smoky flames flames in in a a firefire

started, according to the locals, by

started, according to the locals, by peyoterospeyoteros smoking smoking

reefer on the farm. In an attempt to save her farm reefer on the farm. In an attempt to save her farm ani-mals, she lost her eyesight long ago.

mals, she lost her eyesight long ago.

She used to stay in the main entrance room, She used to stay in the main entrance room, assisted by

assisted by peyoterospeyoteros who would negotiate the service who would negotiate the service

for a place to sleep and food on a dish. Obviously, she for a place to sleep and food on a dish. Obviously, she was being

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T H E D R E A M

T H E D R E A M 1717 I introduced myself to her and told her I was a

I introduced myself to her and told her I was a first-timer and wanted to eat peyote. She told me that I first-timer and wanted to eat peyote. She told me that I needed to take the main road going to the desert valley needed to take the main road going to the desert valley and in just an hour or so of walking I would find myself and in just an hour or so of walking I would find myself surrounded by peyote.

surrounded by peyote.

I agreed to walk with the Hare Krishna. He taught I agreed to walk with the Hare Krishna. He taught me to sing the holy name chant so my mind would not me to sing the holy name chant so my mind would not lose itself to distractions in this special sacred place lose itself to distractions in this special sacred place called “Wirikuta” by the Huichol Indians. The Huichol called “Wirikuta” by the Huichol Indians. The Huichol Indian tribe lives in the state of Jalisco, my home state. Indian tribe lives in the state of Jalisco, my home state. Every year they make a pilgrimage from the Jalisco Every year they make a pilgrimage from the Jalisco Northern Mountains to the Wirikuta desert to collect Northern Mountains to the Wirikuta desert to collect the sacred peyote. Wirikuta means “sacred land.”

the sacred peyote. Wirikuta means “sacred land.”

So I chanted Hare Krishna’s song while we entered So I chanted Hare Krishna’s song while we entered Wirikuta,

Wirikuta, the the Huichol Huichol name name for for the the magical magical desert desert ofof

Real de Catorce. Real de Catorce.

Ricardo told me as soon as I saw my first peyote (a Ricardo told me as soon as I saw my first peyote (a beautiful feeling, by the way; none are the same, like beautiful feeling, by the way; none are the same, like blue stars lying on the desert floor) that I should ask blue stars lying on the desert floor) that I should ask permission to the peyote entity and never cut the first permission to the peyote entity and never cut the first one. One must leave it as an offering, which I did and one. One must leave it as an offering, which I did and minutes afterward I saw literally hundreds if not minutes afterward I saw literally hundreds if not thou-sands of peyote all around us, even stepped on some sands of peyote all around us, even stepped on some accidentally. I cut twelve peyotes and decided to eat accidentally. I cut twelve peyotes and decided to eat eight of them… “Eat them in pairs,” he advised.

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T H E

18

The peyote cactus is the bitterest thing in the whole The peyote cactus is the bitterest thing in the whole world!

world! At At first first not not so so much much but but eventually eventually the the tonguetongue

starts to develop sensitivity toward the taste, until it starts to develop sensitivity toward the taste, until it becomes an almost impossible mission to swallow it. becomes an almost impossible mission to swallow it.

Not to mention the nausea it evokes. Upon arriving Not to mention the nausea it evokes. Upon arriving at the stomach it immediately turns into bitter greenish at the stomach it immediately turns into bitter greenish foam that distends the stomach and makes it very easy foam that distends the stomach and makes it very easy to throw up. If one vomits it before absorption, it won’t to throw up. If one vomits it before absorption, it won’t have an effect.

have an effect.

I learned that a minimum of an hour and a half of I learned that a minimum of an hour and a half of holding the peyote inside was sufficient to have a holding the peyote inside was sufficient to have a psy-chedelic experience regardless if one vomits afterward. chedelic experience regardless if one vomits afterward. It is important not to drink many fluids because it It is important not to drink many fluids because it will be

will be easier to easier to vomit.vomit.

I started to feel nausea and we decided to head I started to feel nausea and we decided to head back to the train station. Once we arrived at Estación back to the train station. Once we arrived at Estación Catorce the peyote started to kick in. All the colors in Catorce the peyote started to kick in. All the colors in my vision became brighter, shining in a peculiar way. I my vision became brighter, shining in a peculiar way. I started to see an aura on all things, and a huge started to see an aura on all things, and a huge sensa-tion of well-being surrounded me.

tion of well-being surrounded me.

I had lived that experience somewhere before. A I had lived that experience somewhere before. A huge déjà vu! It was just too familiar.

huge déjà vu! It was just too familiar.

I could see and feel things before they happened. It I could see and feel things before they happened. It was awesome.

was awesome.

The peyote showed me what was going to be the The peyote showed me what was going to be the beginning of a long spiritual path. But for now that was beginning of a long spiritual path. But for now that was

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T H E D R E A M

T H E D R E A M 1919 it, just a glimpse of a vision. Not much of the mystical

it, just a glimpse of a vision. Not much of the mystical

experience I was longing for, even though it was magical experience I was longing for, even though it was magical wakin

waking up to lifg up to life.e.

“I have to return to this place with more time,” I “I have to return to this place with more time,” I thought. “Lots of study needs to be done here.”

thought. “Lots of study needs to be done here.”

I ended up bouncing back to Real de Catorce every I ended up bouncing back to Real de Catorce every three months (that’s how long the light of the three months (that’s how long the light of the experi-ence would last for me).

ence would last for me).

I started reading Ouspenski, Gurdjieff, Aldous I started reading Ouspenski, Gurdjieff, Aldous Hux-ley, C. Jung, A. Watts, A. Maslow — amazing texts!

ley, C. Jung, A. Watts, A. Maslow — amazing texts!

I became an avid reader of Carlos Castaneda and I became an avid reader of Carlos Castaneda and all subjects related to hallucinogens (Timothy Leary, all subjects related to hallucinogens (Timothy Leary, Gordon Wasson) and shamanism (Mircea Eliade). My Gordon Wasson) and shamanism (Mircea Eliade). My

Three peyote buttons in Wirikuta. The smaller ones are “royal”

Three peyote buttons in Wirikuta. The smaller ones are “royal” hikurishikuris,,

Carlos Castaneda’s favorite, mentioned in

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T H E

20

most prized printed books at that age were

most prized printed books at that age were Te MysticalTe Mystical

Experience

Experience and and Te Doors of PerceptionTe Doors of Perception..

I was also amazed by the occult and became a I was also amazed by the occult and became a huge fan of Eliphas Levi’s masterpiece,

huge fan of Eliphas Levi’s masterpiece, Te GreatTe Great

Secret: Or O

Secret: Or Occultccultism Unveiled.ism Unveiled.

All t

All the kihe kids in scds in school hool thothought ught I was I was a weira weirdodo, a fr, a freak.eak.

I became a fan of The Doors and Pink Floyd music. I became a fan of The Doors and Pink Floyd music. Ambient

Ambient New New Age Age music, music, like like The The OrbOrb, , came came on on thethe

scene with songs like “Fluffy Clouds” and colored my scene with songs like “Fluffy Clouds” and colored my first mescaline trips.

first mescaline trips. So with

So with puberty, my conservative puberty, my conservative parentparents’ attemptss’ attempts

to assert control over my life were just too much for my to assert control over my life were just too much for my free soul. I exploded and ended up leaving home at free soul. I exploded and ended up leaving home at age fifteen. I sold all my things and headed to the only age fifteen. I sold all my things and headed to the only place on Earth I wanted to be: Real de Catorce.

The God Molecule Sample

G

G

O

O

D

D

THE

THE

G

G

O

O

D

D

M O L E C U L E

M O L E C U L E

My Journey to 5-MeO-DMT

My Journey to 5-MeO-DMT

and the Spiritual Path to Divine Light

and the Spiritual Path to Divine Light

Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac, MD, OB-GYN

Gerardo Ruben Sandoval Isaac, MD, OB-GYN

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

Foreword

Foreword

... Let There Be Light!

... Let There Be Light!

5-MeO-DMT: A Brief Chronology

5-MeO-DMT: A Brief Chronology

The Search for the God Molecule

The Search for the God Molecule

The Beginning

The Beginning

The Dream

The Dream

Real de Catorce

Real de Catorce

The Peyote Experience

The Peyote Experience

San José Pacifico

San José Pacifico

The Entheogenic Experience

The Entheogenic Experience

The Lost Treasure

Medical School

Medical School

Nepal and India

Nepal and India

The Salvia Experiment

The Salvia Experiment

The Fall into the Pit

The Fall into the Pit

: The Sonoran Desert Toad

: The Sonoran Desert Toad

The Transfiguration

The Transfiguration

The Outcome

The Outcome

My Statement

My Statement

Toad Message to the World

Toad Message to the World

Bibliography

Bibliography

V

V

aporizi

aporizi

ng

ng

5-MeO-

5-MeO-

DMT f

DMT f

rom

rom

as an Entheogen:

as an Entheogen:

_{: The Sonoran Desert Toad}

_{: The Sonoran Desert Toad}

_{as an Entheogen:}

_{as an Entheogen:}