Identifying Your Core Online
Dating Values
What matters to you when you play the Online Dating Game? What doesn’t??
Values provide an internal reference for what you consider “good,” or
“good for you”…and what is not.
Your online dating values that matter most are your core online dating values.
Core online dating values drive your action when you’re playing the
Online Dating Game. They also take the wheel when you’re presented with a problem to solve during gameplay.
What You Need to Understand:
1. Core online dating values are responsible for why you do what you do, and what you prioritize.
2. If you understand what your core online dating values are…your decision-making playing the Online Dating Game will be a smoother, and more effective process.
Why It’s NECESSARY You Become
More Conscious of Your Core
Online Dating Values
1. Help You Follow YOUR DirectionIf you lack clarity in your online dating values, how can you be sure you’re heading in the right direction, towards what you want?
You have unique values and desires, but if you never identify them… you can never follow them…and you can never achieve them.
2. You Want Efficiency
You are currently at Point A, and your desired outcome from the Online Dating Game is Point B.
(Your fastest path to Point B is a straight line.)
When you “pay the price” to define your core online dating values, you stack the odds in your favor.
1. You’re more likely to reach your Point B.
2. You’re more likely to reach your Point B, SOONER.
3. Help You Find YOUR Happiness
What outcome(s) from the Online Dating Game would make you happy? These outcomes are literally the things that, if you accomplish them, would be desired experiences that would make you feel…happiness from Life and the online dating experience.
4. Simplify Your Decision-Making
When you’re more aware of your core online dating values, decision-making becomes easier.
When in doubt in the Online Dating Game, return to your online dating values for guidance.
INSTRUCTIONS
1.
“What Are You Looking for?”
2.
“How Do YOU Want to Play?”
1. FOR EACH EXERCISE, spend 5-15 minutes contemplating the suggested topics/questions to assess and identify your online dating values.
2. Note any values that resonate more than others. (Taking notes is
recommended.)
3. You may choose to reflect upon areas and values not listed. GO FOR IT! The lists are merely a starting point.
4. This isn’t a test with right and wrong. Whatever areas resonate with you as being valuable, note them. (It’s beneficial for you to go through this exercise and become better aware of what you value from your online dating experience.)
5. FROM YOUR NOTES, identify the 3 online dating values that are most important to experiencing satisfaction from your online dating experience. (In Life and Love, we never get exactly what we want, but we’re generally satisfied if we get what is MOST IMPORTANT.)
✓ The more you can know yourself, and the more aligned you can be playing the Online Dating Game, the more you stack the odds in your favor.
✓ Review and repeat this process as much as you want or need to gain further clarity of your online dating values.
What Are You Looking for?
• Desired Relationship Outcome(s)
o See available “Desired Relationship Outcome(s)” Resource • Availability
o How important is their availability to connect, meet, date? o How important is immediate availability?
• Physical Appearance
o What do you care about? How much? o What’s MOST desired?
o Dealbreakers? • Non-Physical Qualities
o Do you have an “Acceptable Level of Drama” that’s important to you? No one’s perfect, but what can YOU handle? Or rather, “What level of drama do you find acceptable?”
o Do you have an “Acceptable Level of Baggage” that’s important to you? We all come “as is” with some emotional or physical baggage. Consider, is there emotional baggage that you’re comfortable/uncomfortable with, or even dealbreakers? How do you feel about someone with a divorce or relationship baggage, or someone with a child/children?
o What characteristics are you do you appreciate?
o Respect expected/received during online dating interactions • Compatibility o Lifestyle (experiences) o Quality of Life o Vision of future o Communication ▪ Style/Quantity/Frequency
How Do YOU Want to Play?
Integrity• Presenting yourself (in pics, written content, communication) o Accurately representing your appearance
o Accurately representing your lifestyle o Accurately representing your personality • Communication
o Level of openness/honesty
o Accurately express your desired outcome/intentions
Respect
• How you present yourself (pics, written content, communication) • How you treat others in your communication
o Will you say something you wouldn’t in person? • Price of your integrity
o Would you sacrifice your integrity in order to succeed? Never? Maybe a little bit? Maybe a lot??
“Paying the Price” (to Succeed)
• Investment of: Time, Effort, and Resources.
o Realistically, everyone says “I’ll pay the price!” but everyone
has a limit. What’s yours?
• Approach Towards Risk (Openness, Vulnerability, Pain)
o Is your preferred strategy more safe, risky, or balanced? How would you describe your approach towards risk?
• Will you accept help? (It’s available. 2 free months of the Love Life Helpline for your questions with your purchase of “The Online Dating Game: Strategy Guide.”)
Preferences
• Will you have an open mind towards connecting with others? Or will you limit yourself to what you think is best? (Which may or may not be correct.)
• Which online dating platforms will you use? o Just using free platforms?
o Just using pay platforms with monthly subscriptions? o Using both free and pay platforms?
• How do you want to handle (INEVITABLE, REPEATABLE) loss?
• “It’s part of the game. I don’t enjoy losing...but I can’t take it
personally. Losing at this game doesn’t make me a loser.”
• “I SHOULDN’T take rejection in this Online Dating Game so