Rick Davis - Totally Useless Skills

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by

Rick

Davis

...to Sisyphus

PublishedbyWillowisp Press

80194thAvenueNorth,St.Petersburg, Florida33702 Textcopyright©1994byRickDavis

Covers,illustration,designcopyright©1994byWillowispPress,

adivision ofPAGES,Inc.

Allrightsreserved.Noportionof thisbookmaybe reproduced,storedina

retrievalsystem, or transmitted,inany formorby any means,electronic,

mechaniccil.photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without writtenpermission

fromthe publisher. PrintedintheUnited StatesofAmerica

Contents

Introduction 5

How

toSpot aTotallyUselessSkill 6

Arm

Stretching 7

Arm

Shrinking 8

SplitPencil 9

DisappearYourTeacher'sHead 10

MysteryInTheMiddle 12 NoseBreaking 13 BalancingAct 14 GhostPencils 16 Magnetic Pencils 17 SpoonHanging 18 HotDog! 20 FloatingPencil 22 FingerPower 24

TheLongestWord 26

TinglyHands 28

Mismatched Fingers 29

LeapThroughPaper 30

A

SteelGrip 32

We

AllFall

Down

34

Bogglers 36

Can'tMeetPencils 38 TheInvisible Ball 39 Chair Pick-Up 40 TheDisappearingLeg 42

FakeSpoon Bending 44 TheStraw

Worm

46

HoleInYourHand 47 FloatingArms 48 Stick'EmUp! 50 FunnyMoney 52 TheBigSecret 54 JoinTheInstituteOfT.U.S 56

Bio 58

Introduction

Hi.

Welcome

tothe book.

Tm

hereto help

you

through it. Alongtheway, I'll let

you

in

on

some

little secretsI know.

And

atthe

end

ofthe

book

ril tell

you

. . .

BIG

SECRET

So

what

is

a

TotallyUseless Skill

anyway?

It'ssomething thatyou

do

thataccomplishes

absolutelynothing.

A

Totally Useless Skillwon't

make

you

money

getyou

a

grade, orputyou

on

thesoccer team, butit WILL

amaze

you, impress

yourfriends, develop yourcoordination,

strengthen yourself-confidence,

and

beef

up

yoursociallife.

Hmm.

Maybe

theseskillsaren't so useless

afterall!

How

to

Spot

a

Totally

Useless

Skill

• Safe • Noncompetitive Nonaddicting • _Requires

_no

special

equipment

• Fun!

x"^^

/

..'^''\ _I

Arm

Stretching

Put both

arms

straight out in front ofyou.

Leave

one

arm where

it is

and

make

a bigcircle with the other arm. Start

by

pointing tothe floor, then the wall behind

you, then the

^

ceiling,

and

^

Mftj^

H\

finally,

back

to

^>1B^

v

the beginning.

Your

arm

_<v^

/. looks a little

^^

^

longer now, doesn't

it?

If

you

circle

back

the other way,

your

arm

will return to its original size.

Arm

Shrinking

Put both

arms

straightout in

front of you, with

your

hands

pointing straight out.

Leave

one

arm where

it is.

Now

scratch

your

nose

with

your

free hand.

When

you

put that

hand

out in front again,

your

arm

will

appear

to

be

alittleshorter!

TRY!

/knowIdon'thavetotellyou that Youobviouslyaren'tafraid

totrynewthingsoryou wouldn't be readingthisbook! Butsomepeoplewon'ttryanewskillbecausetheythinkthey can'tdoit,ortheydon'twanttoriskbeingafailure,or they don'twanttolook bad.

Toobadforthem,becausealotofskillsareeasierthan they

Split

Pencil

Using

your

thumbs,

hold a

pencil to

your

face at

eye level.

Look

at it

close up, like this:

Now

lookat

something

faraway.

Slowlyrub

your

palms

up

and

down

together. Right in

front of

your

very

eyes, the pencilwill look like it's splitting in half!

Disappear

Your

Teacher's

Head

First, take a lookat the

X

and

O

below.

X

o

Hold

this

book

about 8 inches infront ofyou,

so the

X

and

are at

your

eye level.

Close

your

left eye.

Look

at the

X

with

your

righteye.

Keep

looking at theX,

and

the

O

will

seem

to

disappear!

You

can

do

the

same

thingto

your

teacher's

head.

The

next time

your

teacher is standing neara

wall, close

your

lefteye

and

look at a spot

on

thewall, level with

your

teacher's

head and

3 to 10 feet tothe right.

If

you

reallyconcentrate

on

that spot,

your

teacher's

head

will

seem

tovanish!

II

c±z

^~

(Ifat first

you

don't succeed, try looking closer or farther

from

his head.)

Bye

bye, teacher!

KEEP

TRYING

You mightnotbeabletodotheseskillsthefirsttime,soyou havetokeeptrying.

Doyou thinkyourfavoritebasketballplayerwas aninstant success thefirsttimehe steppedonthecourt?Noway. Even the besthadtotryagainandagainandagain.

Mystery

In

The

Middle

Balance a ruler

on your

fingers.

You

may

put

your

hands

at

any

two

points.

Now

slowly bring

your

hands

together,

palm

to palm.

Amazingly,

your

fingers will

always

wind

up

under

the 6-inch mark!

And

if

you

try to spread

your

hands

apart again, only

one

will

move!

(If

you do

this with ayardstick, both fingers

will

wind

up

under

the 18-inch mark.)

Did You

Know?-Thesecret tothisisfriction. That'stheresistancethatiscaused

whentwomovingsurfacesareincontact witheachother.

Whenthefingersonyourleftandrighthandsareequal distancesfromthemiddleof theruler, thefrictiononboth handsis thesame,so theybothmove andtheybotharriveat themiddle. Butwhenyourfingersareunevenly placed under theruler, thefrictionisalsouneven, andsoonefingermoves

Nose

Breaking

You

can't graduate

from

school without

learning this one.

Put

your hands

over

your

nose, with

your

thumbs

near

your

mouth.

Now

nriove

your

hands

from sideto

side, as if

you

were

trying to jerk

your nose

At the

same

time,

click

your

thumb

nail

on

the

edge

of

your

front teeth. It will

sound

like

your nose

is

breaking.

You

will also hear

the

sound

of

your

Balancing

Act

Fold adollarbill in halfso itforms aV. (A

crisp bill

works

best.) Stand it

up on

atable. Put

Grab

the

ends

ofthe bill

and

slowly pull

them

apart so that the bill straightens out.

The

quarterwill balance

on

the

edge

ofthe dollar

bill.

Remember,

pullveryslowly.

TRY

IT

SLOWLY

Everyone wantstobeaninstantsuccess,soit's temptingto try

anewskiiitoofast.Buthere'salittlesecret:

Ifyoutrysomethingquickly, you'lllearn itslowly.

Ifyoutrysomethingslowly, you'lllearnitquickly.

Ghost

Pencils

Cross

two

fingerstightly,

and

close

your

eyes.

Ask

afriend to lightly rub a

pencil eraser

between your

fingers.

Itwill feel like

two

pencils,

not just one!

Normally,

you

would

need

two

pencils to touch these

two

points

on your

fingers at the

same

time.

But

when

you

cross

your

fingers,

you

need

only

one

pencil

because your

brain gets fooled

and

thinks that

two

pencils aretouching you.

Did

You

Know?

There aremorethan 30,000milesof nervesinyourbody!If

Magnetic

Pencils

Press

two

pencil erasers together, hard.

Count

totwenty.

When

you

try to slowly

move

them

away

from each

other, the pencilswill brieflyfeel as if

Spoon Hanging

Never

let it

be

said that

you

went

through life

without hanging a

spoon

from

your

face. Here's

how

to

do

it:

Find alarge

metal orplastic

spoon

and

make

sureit's clean. ,^r ^^

Make

sure

your

t^^

nose

is clean, too!

Breathe heavily

on

the

spoon

to

make

it

warm

and

moist.

Then

press the

spoon

hard against

your

nose.

Tilt

your head

up

slightly.

Hold

still,

and

let go.

r^-;^^

If

you

Ve

come

this far,

why

stop?

Try

hanging

spoons from

your

cheeks

and your

chin.

TRY

NEW

WAYS

\fyou'rehavingtroubledoingaskill, thinkofnewwaysto try

itInspoonhanging,forexample, try tilting yourheadat

different angles. Trywarmingthespoonlonger. Ortrya bigger spoon.

Hot

Dog!

Hold

the tips of

your

fingers at eye level, about 6 inches in front ofyou.

Look

right across

your

fingers at

something

far away.

Do

you

see a

hot

dog

between

your

fingers? It will looklike this:

If

you

hold

your

fingers like this, you'll see a ball floating in space.

If

you

hold

your

fingers like this, you'll see aheart.

If

you

hold

your

fingers like this, you'll see a

snowman.

The

image your

right eye sees is overlapping

the

image

seen

by your

left eye.

Did You

Know?

Youareeitherright-handedor left-handed, right?Butdidyou Icnowthatyouarealso eitherright-eyedorleft-eyed?Your brainprefersoneeyeover theother.

Lookatsomethingfaraway andpointyourfingeratit.Now

closeyourlefteye. Nowclose justyourright eye. Yourfinger

willappeartojump!

Theeye thatisopen whenyourfingerdoes notjumpisyour dominanteye. Useitwhenyou'retakingpictures.

Floating Pencil

''«»%

Grab

apencil like this:

Make

sure

you

are

secretlyholding the

pencil with the index

fingerof

your

other

Slowly

open

your

fingers.

The

pencil looks like

it's floating!

Just don't let

anyone

see

your

tricky finger in the back.

READ

Magicisabigsecret, right?WRONG!

It's actually veryeasyto findouthowmagictricksaredone. Thetricksare availabletoanyonewhowantstoknowthem

—

rightat thelibrary.

There arezillionsofbooksonmagic, andtheytellyouinplain English exactlyhowthetricksaredone.So, youdon'thaveto

beamagiciantolearnmagic. Youdon'thavetoknowany

magicwords. Youdon'tevenhavetohaveanymoney.Allyou havetodoisread.

You'll findbookson magicinthe#793 sectionof yourlibrary. Borrowa fewandbeforeyouknowit,you'llbeshowingoff

Finger

Power

Have

afriend clasp his

hands

together,

holdinghis indexfingers apart as

wide

as

With your

finger, tracea circle

around your

friend's fingers.

Keep

tracingthis circle

very

fast, over

and

over.

Mysteriously,

your

friend's fingers will slowly

come

together!

Actually,

your

friend's fingers

would

come

together, anyway,

because

his finger

muscles

would

eventuallygettired. But don't tell

him

The

Longest

Word

No, it's not "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." That's a

Mary

Poppins

word, not a dictionary

word.

The

longest

word

in the English

Language

(in

Webster's Eighth Dictionary

and

the

Random

House

College Dictionary) is 45 letters long:

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Pronounce

it like this:

NEW

mon

oh

UL

tra

MY

cro

SCOP

ic SIL i covol

KAY

no

CONE

ee

OH

sis.

How's

that for

atotallyuseless

word!

And

anyway,

what

does

it

mean?

It's a type of disease that

you

get

when

you

pronounce

long

No, really, it's a lung disease that coal miners

get

when

they breathe ultramicroscopic

particles of

sand

as theydig throughvolcanic

rock.

(

STEP

BY

STEP

Sometimes askillis toocomplicated ortoo largetolearnallat once. It'seasierifyoufirstbreakthe largeskillintosmaller

skills,andthen learnitstepbystep. So, don'ttrytopronounce

"pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" allat once. Learnitstepbystep:

1)pri^umono(NEWmonoh)

2)ultra(Ultra)

3) microscopic(MYcroSCOPic)

4)silico(SILico) 5)volcano(volKAYno) 6)coniosis(CONEee

OH

sis)

Tingly

Hands

Rub

your

hands

together,very fast, until

they are

warm.

Now

keep

rubbing

them

untilthey are hot.

Keep

it up,

even

faster!

When

your hands

are

so hot

you

can hardly

stand it, hold

them

exactly as if

you

were

holding a basketball,

like this:

You

will feel an

odd

tingling

between your

Mismatched

Fingers

Close

your

eyes

and

spread

your

arms

straight out totheside.

Now

try to

touch

your

indexfingers over

your

head.

Maybe

you

can get it

on

the

second

or third

try, but probably not

on

thefirst.

Leap

Through

Paper

Did

you

know

you

can

jump

right through a

sheet of paper?

Fold a piece of

paper

and

make

cuts as close

to the

edge

ofthe

paper

as possible, like this. Don't cut all the

way

through.

Turn

the

paper

over

and

cut between the

original cuts, cuttingas close tothe fold as

possible.

Be

sureto

skip over thefirst

and

last

end

cuts. % ^

i^

TT

k

CUTATARROWS

Carefullyunfold the paper. Cut along

thecrease

between

thefirst

and

last slits,

as

shown.

Notice that

you

don't cut the

paper

at the topor

cur

-/BETWEEN ARROWS

Now

slowly spread

it open,

and

jump

right through!

Using the

same

method,

you

can

stick

your

head

through a business card or

march

your

school

band

through a newspaper.

makeh

interesting

A%you'vejust seen,you canmakeeventhemostordinary objectsinteresting. Themoreinterestingsomethingis

—

liicea skiii

—

theeasierit isto learn.

Doyoulikebaseball, but hatemath?Then chancesareyou'll

haveaneasiertime learning baseballthanlearningmath. Butit'spossibletolearnmathematicsbetter

—

byusing baseball! Youcan improve yourmathskillsbyfiguringbatting averages, leaguestandings,speedsoffastballs, andbetter battingorders.

A

Steel

Grip

**<«^v

Challenge

your

dad

or

mom

to pull

your

hand

off

your

head. Neither will

be

able to

do

it.

Your

parents can only use

one

hand,

and

they

must

lift straight up.

They

can't pull to the side,

They

can't

do

it

because

you

are using

your

biceps

muscle and

theyare using their triceps

muscle.

The

biceps

muscle

is stronger than the triceps muscle.

Triceps

£d6t£&

Secret

REST

Howareyou doingsofar?Need abreal<?Goodidea!Because scientistshavediscovered thatyoucanlearnasidllbetterby

resting!

''WHAAATH Youcanlearn betterbynot doinganything?'' That's right.Learningsomethingiseasierifyoupracticein shortsessionswithrestsinbetween, ratherthanpracticingin

We

All

Fall

Down

Stand with

your

left

shoulder

and

left right

up

against a

Now

try lifting the

footwithout toppl

over.

(Bythe way, this

works

just as well

—

or as

badly

—

if

you

reverse things, so that you're

using

your

right side

and

lifting

your

left foot.)

Did You

Know?

Everyonehasacenter ofgravity. It'sinsideyourbodyand

aboutthreeinchesaboveyourbellybutton. Halfyour weight

isabovethisspot, andhalfisbelow.Also, halfyourweightis

totheright,andhalfistotheleft.

Ifyourfeetarenotunder yourcenterofgravity(likewhenyou stoodagainst the wallandliftedyourfoot),youwillfall

Bogglers

If

you

are doing

two

different

things at the

same

time, then

you

are

doing a "Boggier."

The

classic

boggier is rubbing

your

stomach

while patting

your

head.

If

you

Ve

already

mastered

that,

hereare

some

other bogglers to try . . . • Twirl

your

thumbs

in opposite directions.

• Sign

your

name

while

drawing

a

circle

on

thefloor with

your

foot.

•

Brush your

teeth

and

comb

your

hairat the ^

•

Nod

your head and

say _{/ f}

i^)u'-"no."

Shake your head

_^,^(}

Y^jj^?'

and

say "yes."

f^^-• Dr .triangle in the air i ^^

i^""^

with

one

hand.

Draw

a ;^ M"^ >

square in the airwith

the other.

Now

do

both

at the

same

time.

STOi;

THINK,

GO

Manyskillsareeasier tomasterifyou stopandthinkbefore yougo.

So trythelastskillagain,onlythistime don'ttrytodoitallat once.

Firststop andthinkofjustonelinefromthetriangle,andone linefrom the square. Don'tdrawthem.Justpicturethemin your mind.

Okay, nowgo and drawthesetwolines. Thenstop. Nowthink of the nextlineoneachshape.

Co and drawthem, then stop. Nowthinkofthenextlines.Go, then stop. Andso on.

Can't

Meet

Pencils

Stretch

your

arms

out

and

hold

two

pencils in front

ofyou. Point thetips at

each

other. Close

one

eye.

Now

try to

touch

thepencil tips

together.

Did

You

Know?

Weneed botheyes tojudgedistances.SoIfyoucloseoneeye yourbraincannoteasilytellhowfareachpencilisfromyou.

The

Invisible

Ball

Hold

a

paper

bag

at thetop

edge

between

the

thumb

and second

finger

Pretend to

throw

aball intothe

/

air. "Watch" it

go

up

and

come

down.

Then, pretend to catch it in

your

bag.

At the

moment

your

invisible ball "enters"

your

bag,

SNAP

THE

FINGERS

THAT ARE

HOLDING

THE

BAG

(Do

this

with-out letting go

of thebag.)

The sound

of the

snap

will

sound

likethe ball

Chair

Pick-Up

Stand against awall

and

step backward,

measuring

off three foot lengths.

Pull a lightweight chair in front ofyou, or

have

someone

slide it over.

Bend

at the waistso that

your

head

is against the

wall

and

over the chair.

Now

tryliftingthe chair

and

standing up.

It's easy ... ifyou're a girl. But guys can't

do

it!

Guys

just won't

be

able to stand up.

Why?

Because

girls generally

have

shorter feet than boys.

When

girls trythis skill, their

three steps

backward

do

not take

them

as far

from

thewall as boys.

So

when

they lean over, their feet are directly

under

their centerof gravity.

When

boys

trythis, theirthree steps

backward

take

them

farther

from

thewall than

girls.

When

theylean over, their center of

gravityis not directly over theirfeet. In fact, if

The

Disappearing

Leg

Cover

yourself from the waist

down

with a large

cloth. (Don't let

more

than the tips of

your

shoes show.)

Slip out of

one

shoe, then

bend

your

shoeless

leg at the knee. (Duh!) Lift the cloth to just

Now,

to bring it

back

. .

Lower

the cloth to the

floor again.

Slip

back

into

your

shoe. Don't let

anyone

see

your

shoe move!

With your

best

bullfighter

imperson-ation, flingthe cloth aside to reveal

your

"restored" leg. (This is a

good

one

to practice in front ofa friend.)

TEAMWORK

You'WlearnaskillfasterIfyoutryitwithsomeoneelse, becausewhentwobeginnerstryaskilltogether, they learn from eachother'smistakes.

Fake

Spoon

Bending

This is agreat trickto tryat important

dinners likeThanksgiving,

when

the grown-ups

like to haul out theirbest silverware.

To

start, get a

spoon

and

hold it so that

your

audience views it from thefront.

Be

sure not to grip the

spoon

with

your thumbs.

Keep them

out of the

way

Push your

top

^^

hand

forward,

and

atthe

same

time pull

your

bottom

hand

backward

to

let the

spoon

handle slowly

pass

downward

through

your

fingers. (Tryto

keep your

hands

upright.)

^^jp^^

Make

afacewhile you're doingthis skill.

That

way

your

audience will thinkyou're struggling a little,

and

the

spoon bending

will

seem

even

The

Straw

Worm

Hold

a

paper-covered straw

upright against a

flat surface. Then,

push

the

paper

wrapping

from the

topuntil it's all

scrunched

up

at the

bottom and

take it off the

straw.

Put a

drop

ofwater

on

this paper.

(The

straw is a

good

tool to use forthis.)

The

paper

will

weave

and

wiggle like a

worm.

Hole

in

Your

Hand

With

your

left eye,

look

though

a tube or

any

rolled-up paper.

Hold your

right

hand

against the tube

and

about

9 inches

away

from your

nose.

Keep

both

eyes open.

Floating

Arms

Stand in a

doorway

and

press the backs of

your

hands

against the frame.

Count

to twenty.

Keep

pressing.

When

you

When

you

walk

away, you'll feel

your

arms

stick

'Em

Up!

t

Touch

one, two,three, or four fingers to

your

friend's back.

Ask

him

to guess

how

many

fingers you'reusing.

Most

of his guesseswill

be

wrong.

Now

ask

your

friend to close his eyes. This

time, put one, two, three, or four fingers

against the

palm

of his

hand.

Ask him

to guess

how

many

fingers

you're

touchingto

his palm. '^*—-^- ,---

^£

His guess willalmost always

be

right!

Did You

Know?

Thenerveendingsonthebackarespreadfarapart, likethis:

• o e

. • • •

• *

Butthe nerveendings onthehandarebunched upvery closely, like this:

t ^

• • o • • o • • • • • o

When you touch yourfriend'sback, hisbrainreceivesless informationthanitdoeswhenyou touchhishand. Withless informationhisbrainhasa hardertimefiguringouthow manyfingersare touching.

Funny

Honey

Tell

your

parents you'll

be

good

forever if

theyjust give

you

$26.

Afterthey say,

"WHAAAAAT!,"

tell them,

"Okay, okay, Iwon't

be

good

forever, but

would

you

loan

me

a twenty-dollarbill, a five-dollar

bill,

and

a one-dollar bill for just afew minutes?"

Afterthey give in, fold

each

bill in half, the long way.

Now

you

can holdthe bills together in differ-ent

ways

to

make

funny presidential portraits.

Abraham Washington

George Jackson AndrewLincoln

DidY&ttKtumA

George Washington,AndrewJackson,andAbraham Lincoln werethree ofourgreatestpresidents,butdidyouknowthey werealsogreatfailuresatdifferenttimesintheir lives?

Asageneral, Washingtonlostmorebattlesthanhe won. Jacksonfailedtowinthefirsttimehe ranforpresident.And

Lincolnwasonceaflopasastoreowner.

Whatwastheirsecret forbecomingsuccessful?Theykept

And now

• • •

'

r/i»

—

—

BIG

SECRET

You skippedto thispart, right? Ifyoudid then I

have

to tell you

some

littlesecrets Italked

about

in the book. They are littlelearning

secrets. • Try

• Keep trying

• _Try

new

_ways

•

Make

it interesting

•

_Read

•

_Two

are betterthan

one

• Stop . . . think . . .

go

• _Step

_by

_step

• Rest

BIG

SECRET

IF

YOU

USE

THESE

LITTLE

SECRETS,

YOU

CAN

LEARN

ANYTHING

YOU WANT

TO

DO.

•

Do

you

want

to

do

incredible 5l<ateboardstunts?

KEEP TRYING!

•

Do

you

want

to be

a

veterinarian?

READ!

•

_Do

you

want

to be betterat video

games?

TRY

NEW

WAYS!

•

Do

you

want

tobe

a

scientist?

MAKE

IT

INTERESTING!

•

Do

you

want

to playpiano?

GO

SLOWLY!

Join

the

Institute

of

Totally

Useless

Skills

The

Institute ofTotallyUseless Skills is an

organization

devoted

to bringingto

humanity

a

bunch

ofskills that

have

absolutely

no

practical value, but that indirectly

promote

self-esteem,

coordination, concentration, persistence,

and

FUN!

Now

you

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become

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famous

Institute of TotallyUseless Skills.

Just

send

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stamped

envelope to

us,

and

in returnwe'll

send

you

a free

Do

you

know

atotally useless skill?

We'd

like

to

know

it, too! So, please

send

it in

and

share

it with us. Ifwe've never seen

your

skill before,

we

may

ask

you

if

we

can

put it in ournext

book. If

we

do, you'll get a free copy.

Such

a deal!

Write to:

The

Instituteof Totally UselessSkills

P.O.

Box

181

f

K^

HAVE

YOU

SEEN

THIS

PERSON'S

MIND?

It's beenmissing since 1950. Itused to belong toRickDavis, the author of this book.

He

waslast seen performingatDisneyWorld, on Broadway, at

the RinglingBrothers Circus, attheWhite House,

and at fine schools everywhere.

He

hasbeen describedas a middle-agedkid trying to find hisadult self.

He

is

known

todo

things just for fun.

He

is also

known

asthe

president ofthe Institute ofTotallyUselessSkills.

(Bythe way, ifyou find this person's mind, please donot return it.

The

author reports that

Diploma

THE

INSimiTE

OF

TOIALLY

USELESS

SKILLS

herebyconfersupon

(fillinyourname)

the

Degree

ofP.U.

(PractitionerOfUselessness)

forneedlesslymasteringthe followingtalents:

ArmStretching ArmShrinking DisappearYourTeacher'sHea

SpUtPencil MysteryInTheMiddle NoseBreaking BalancingAct GhostPencil SpoonHanging HotDog! FloatingPencil FingerPower

MagneticPencils TheLongestWord TinglyHands LeapThroughPaper ASteelGrip WeAll FallDown

Boilers Mismatched Fmgers Can'tMeetPencils ChairPick-up TheDisappearingLeg TheInvisibleBaU

FakeSpoonBending TheStrawWorm RoatingArms

HoleInYourHand Stick'EmUp FunnyMoney

THISDIPLOMAENTITLESYOU TOABSOLUTELY

NOTHING, BUT DOESPROVIDESOMETHINGHANDY TO

WRAP

YOUR BUBBLEGUMIN.

Inwitness thereof, thisdocumenthasbeen

pointlesslysignedby a person withabsolutelyno

authoritywhatsoever

RickDavis

I

U.S. $2.99

CAN. $3.70 CANADA _<tQQC

withGST »P»J-^-3

Want

tobethetalkofthetown? It'seasy! Justdive

intothezanyskills in thisbookandbefore long

you'llbe amazing yourfriendswith the wackiest tricks they'veeverheard of,like:

• FloatingArms •SpoonHanging •TheDisappearingLeg • GhostPencils

•HoleInYourHand •ArmShrinking

•MysteryInTheMiddle

•MismatchedFingers

Andthose arejust forstarters!

You'llfindthirtytotallyuselessskills, easyinstructions withfun illustrations, little secrets,odd bitsof

information. . . evenadiplomainthebackofthebook!

So goahead. Havesomefun.Developsome. . .