Staying Positive and Optimistic Even When Bad Things Happen

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Staying Positive and

Optimistic Even When

Bad Things Happen

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SymBOl KEy

Symbols used in this workbook:

Introduction: A brief overview of the course you are about to begin

Learning objectives: A guide to a session’s key points intended to help focus your attention on important elements and essential take-aways

Summary: A quick review of what you have learned in the current session

Personal Action Plan: An opportunity to apply your newly learned skills and knowledge to your specific work environment

Introduction

Everybody goes through difficult times in their lives. The most important things you’ll learn in this audio conference are that you can turn your negative thinking and attitudes around in order to face your problems head-on and that you can rid yourself of

negative thinking.

 List the five steps to becoming the master—not the victim—of your thoughts and feelings  Explain how to break the negative habits of worrying and catastrophizing

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The Five-step Plan to Becoming

the Master of Your Thoughts and

Feelings Instead of the Victim

Your thoughts and feelings help make you who you are. They have a profound effect on your life, your success and your happiness or lack of happiness.

Put your problem in perspective:  Everybody has problems

 Every problem has a limited time of existence

 Every problem changes you, but you can choose what your problem will do to you  There is a negative and a positive to every problem

Mastering negative thoughts and attitudes: Step 1: Tune in to your thoughts

Step 2: Pinpoint the “I can’t” thoughts that are contributing to your negative attitude

Step 3: Turn off the negative thoughts

Step 4: Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones

Step 5: As you begin to see the situation in a more positive light, begin considering alternatives to your situation

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How to Break the Negative Habits

of Worrying and Catastrophizing

“A thousand fearful images and dire suggestions glance along the mind when it is moody and discontented with itself. Command them to stand and show themselves,

and you presently assert the power of reason over imagination.”

– Sir Walter Scott

What is “catastrophizing”? Catastrophizing is a thought process whereby you imagine that a situation is far worse than it truly is.

Two forms of catastrophizing:

1. Letting a situation appear catastrophic

2. Looking to the future and imagining all the things that will go wrong

Here’s how to stop yourself from catastrophizing:  Ask yourself to confront the worst-case scenario  Ask yourself if you can live with that possibility

 Instead of worrying, use your energy to head off the anticipated problems

10 Specific Ways to Turn

a Negative Attitude Around

Use these methods to turn your negativity around. 1. Assess what’s going well in your life

2. Make yourself focus on what is actually happening—the real situation 3. Change the way you view your job—or change jobs

4. Visualize yourself succeeding

5. Ask yourself whether you’re holding yourself to higher standards than you do others 6. Strive to use more positive language when you speak and write

7. Avoid rigid thinking

8. Don’t procrastinate. At some point, the things you put off will pile up, and you’ll be forced to address them as an overwhelming group of tasks. This can lead to negativity. 9. Work to keep your relationships vital and fun. Distance yourself from pessimists. 10. Have a support group that can give you encouragement during rough times

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How to Establish a Positive Work Culture

That Encourages Optimism and Mutual

Support for Correcting Negative Patterns

Your positivity can have a constructive effect on your workplace. People naturally gravitate to happy people. And your positive attitude can “rub off” on them.

Establishing a positive work culture:  Keep the lines of communication open  Encourage employee participation

 Set realistic job expectations and evaluation criteria  Be consistent in treatment of individual workers

 Understand that negativity in the workplace can result from problems at home  Provide continuous feedback/positive reinforcement

 Show respect

 Remember your manners

Recognizing the Self-defeating Activities

That Contribute to Negativity

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

– Mark Twain

If you find yourself in a difficult situation, it is up to you to get yourself out of it. And you surely won’t succeed if you are guilty of these self-defeating activities.

 Smoking, overeating, drug and alcohol abuse and other activities that abuse the body,

confirming that you’re not “worthy”

 Workaholism

 Lack of goals—provides an excuse for not taking charge  Workload—both at home and at work

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Taking Control of the Quality of

Your Life With the CPA Formula

By taking accountability—and using the CPA formula—you can increase the quality of your life.

 Create  Promote  Allow

How to Use a Simple Yet Very Effective Formula

for Changing Pessimism to Optimism

You CAN change your negativity to optimism. Consider this formula and its truthfulness.

Dr. Albert Ellis defined this formula for explaining how what we believe about an event determines the consequences:

A = Event

B = Belief

C = Consequence

A + B = C

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Personal Action Plan—

When Bad Things Happen

Scenario: Your company just laid off two people in your department, and you’ll be responsible for their work. Using the five steps to master your thoughts and feelings, how would you deal with this?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Think of a difficult time you’re having right now or have had in the past. Apply the

A + B = C formula. Now, how can you adjust your thinking to make it optimistic instead of pessimistic?

In this audio conference you’ve learned 10 specific methods to use to turn a negative attitude around. You studied how to establish a positive work culture to encourage

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BOnuS maTErial

What Negativity Does to You

Negativity affects your spirit: 1. It is self-defeating

2. It causes stress that affects you both mentally and physically 3. It drains you of motivation and energy

4. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy 5. It makes you live in a negative state 6. It places you in the role of the victim

How a Negative Attitude Influences

Achievement—Personally and Professionally

 Personal life is out of balance. Goals aren’t set because they don’t seem obtainable. Or if they

are set, a negativist will sabotage his or her ability to meet them.

 Career progress or advancement is delayed or simply never materializes because of strained

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How to Distinguish a Truly Negative

Attitude From Thoughtful, Productive,

“What-Might-Go-Wrong” Contingency Thinking

“Let our advance worrying become advanced thinking and planning.”

– Sir Winston Churchill

True negative attitude: The attitude or belief that things will go wrong and that nothing can be done to solve a problem or meet a challenge.

Cautious planning: Carefully weighing the possible pitfalls and creating a plan to deal with them if they occur.

Coping Strategies for Dealing

With Chronically Negative People

 Counter with a positive perspective  Do research before presenting a proposal  Propose alternatives

 Seek out support for your idea from others before meeting with the negativist  Ask the negative person to describe a worst-case scenario

Understanding the Negative Personality

People who are constantly negative may:  Feel inferior

 Have crucial life experiences others don’t know about  Have legitimate problems others don’t know about  Come from a negative family

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Breaking Bad Habits—Such as Negativity

Here are the steps to break a bad habit:

1. Awareness: You must identify a specific habit you want to change

2. Want to Change: You must accept that breaking a bad habit requires a conscious effort and that doing so is a worthy goal

3. Commitment: The hardest of them all. Refocus on your commitment every day 4. Consistent Action: Be consistent in the tools and methods you use to break the habit 5. Perseverance: No one said it would be easy. But just imagine how good you’ll feel

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