Proverbs 24:3-4. By wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established;

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Proverbs 24:3-4

3

_{By wisdom a house is built,}

And by understanding it is established;

4

_{And by knowledge the rooms are filled}

With all precious and pleasant riches.

Proverbs 24:3-4

by wisdom

(seeing with discernment)

Your house

(your marriage)

is built

(restore, rebuilt)

by understanding

(responding with insight)

it is established

(set in order)

by knowledge

(learning with perception)

your rooms filled

(implies abundant satisfaction)

with all precious & pleasant riches

(essential things that make life meaningful)

God alone can give you these skills & abilities

(Proverbs 2:6; Psalm 127:1)

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MAN AND WOMAN

Genesis 1:24-31

God:

spoke creation into existence

made all the animals

created man and woman

blessed them

commanded them …

provided for man & animals

was pleased with all His work

Man:

created by God

- in His image

- in His likeness - male & female

blessed by God

commanded by God

- be fruitful, multiple, fill the earth - subdue it

- rule over fish, birds, cattle, all the earth, every creeping thing

provided for by God

Pattern:

God Himself

Product:

Distinctly male Distinctly female

Purpose:

To rule over Creation

Provision:

Every plant yielding seed

every tree with fruit yielding seed

Other Key Words:

Man made in God’s “image”, in His “likeness” Animals made “after their kind”

- opposes EVOLUTION Man is a distinct creation.

Genesis 2

God:

completed His work

rested from creating

blessed & sanctified 7th_day

made earth & heaven formed man from dust breathed into man’s nostrils planted garden

placed man in garden commanded man …

said “not good for man to be alone” took rib from man’s side

brought woman to man

Man:

How created

1. from dust

2. breathed into by God

Responsibilities

Phy:

placed in garden (v15) - to cultivate it - to keep it

Moral:

commanded to not eat from tree of knowledge of good & evil (v17)

Intellectual:

to name animals (v19)

Needs:

loneliness (v20) no helper suitable

God’s Solution for Man’s Need

v18 I will make helper suitable v19 brought animals to man v20 Man realized his need

v21 caused to sleep, lost one rib

v22 God fashioned rib into woman, brought her to man v23 Man’s response

Principles for Marriage (v24-25)

1. leave -

PRIORITY

2. cleave -

PERMANENCE

3. one flesh -

ONENESS

4. naked & not ashamed -

OPENNESS

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Foundational Truths for Marriage (Gen 2:24-25)

A. Three Primary Relationships

1. man & God (2:7-9, 16-17) - most important, eternal 2. husband & wife - permanent, until death

3. parents & children - continues until marriage of child or death

B. Marriage = The Most Important Horizontal Relationship

1. Priority – “leave” – husband’s responsibility

2. Permanence – “cleave” – wholehearted commitment –spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically

3. Oneness – “one flesh”– monogamous, heterosexual, Heb. idea - “one in every way” 4. Openness – “naked & not ashamed”

C. Marriage is God’s Idea!

1. for God’s own good purposes for man & woman (Gen 1:28)

2. not to thwart woman’s ambitions; not to bring misery but happiness (Deut 20:5-8) 3. life is colorless with only one sex

4. God has always lived in a family – Father, Son, and Spirit 5. His plan is to give His Son a bride

D. Marriage is God’s Solution for Man’s First Problem: Loneliness (Gen 2:18-22)

Marriage begins with a need for companionship and completion

GOD

HUSBAND WIFE

Deuteronomy 20:5-8

No “national service” for one year for a newly married man

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Finding Your Life Partner

1. A Bride for Isaac (Genesis 24)

Abraham sent his servant to his relatives to get a wife for Isaac. Servant prayed to God and asked for a sign, sign given; Rebekah willing to leave

2. A Bride for Jacob (Genesis 28:1-5; 29)

Jacob sent to his own relatives, fell in love with Rachel, asked for her as his wages and worked 7 years for her but got Leah instead. Custom was to marry off the older first, so Jacob worked another 7 years for Rachel

3. A Bride for Joseph (Genesis 41:37-52)

Pharaoh gave him a bride

4. A Bride for Moses (Exodus 2:15-22)

Jethro gave his daughter to Moses

5. A Husband for Ruth (Ruth 3)

Naomi followed the word of the Lord (see Deut 25:5-10) and sought a husband for Ruth. Ruth obeyed and asked Boaz to fulfill his duty as a kinsman-redeemer to her.

6. Joseph and Mary (Matthew 1:18-25)

They were betrothed, usually in childhood by their parents

7. Yourself?

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Brad Strand on Genesis 24:4

- The Genesis 24 account of what led up to the marriage of

Isaac and Rebekah offers us a beautiful example of how

GOD THE FATHER

can lead two

people together.

The Scriptures offer proven principles that apply to both young and old, first-time

marriages, or even second marriages. These five principles, if followed, can direct a

person to the right partner for life:

1) Learn to date only Christians

(i.e., people who agree with you spiritually - Gen 24:1-4; I

Cor 7:39 & II Cor 6:14-18),

2) Learn to be content with your singleness

(See Phil 4:10-13) until the

FATHER

(i.e., the

LORD God - vs 7) decides otherwise (See Gen 24:5-7 & Prov 19:14),

3) Learn to date Christians who possess character

(See - Gen 24:10-14 & Prov 31:30).

Marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person (See - Heb

13:4),

4) Learn to date Christians who understand commitment

(See Gen 24:50-58 & Mt 19:3-8).

No vow (i.e., marriage vow) is foolish if kept (See Eccl 5:1-6). Divorce should never be an

option,

5) Learn to date Christians who understand God’s kind of love

(See Gen 24:67; II Jn 1:6).

God’s kind of love is not “puppy love.” The problem with “puppy love” is that it often

leads to a dog’s life.

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Dr. Paul Popenoe, founder of the American Institute of

Family Relations in Los Angeles

Some of his findings:

1. Men and women differ in every cell on their

bodies.

2. Woman has greater constitutional vitality.

3. They differ in basal metabolism – woman’s

normally lower.

4. They differ in skeletal structure.

5. Woman has a larger stomach, kidneys, liver

& appendix but smaller lungs.

6. In functions, woman has several very

important ones totally lacking in man –

menstruation, pregnancy, lactation, all of

which influence behavior & feelings &

contribute to emotional instability.

7. Woman’s blood contains more water (20%

fewer red blood cells) – tires easily & more

prone to fainting.

8. In brute strength, men are 50% above

women.

9. Woman’s heart beats more rapidly (80 vs 72

for men); blood pressure (10 points lower

than man) varies from minute to minute; but

she has much less tendency to high blood

pressure, at least until after menopause.

10. Her vital capacity or breathing power is

lower.

11. She stands high temperatures better than

does man; metabolism slows down less.

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Psychological Differences

Men

1. sees whole picture

2. logical and realistic

3. more emotionally clam

4. works on goals

5. tends to be more objective

6. realistic

7. needs respect

2 fears

a. being dominated by a woman

b. feeling inadequate

8. slower to recognize, express & sense

emotional needs

• needs tranquility in the home

Women

1. sees details

2. intuitive and idealistic

3. more emotionally volatile

4. works on relationships

5. tends to be more subjective

6. idealistic

7. needs love

1 basic fear

a. being treated like an object

8. quicker to recognize, express & sense

emotional needs

• needs romance in her life

“womaneise”

language of the heart

right brained

centre for feelings

relational

language

communication skills

“maneise”

language of the head

left brained

logical

analytical

factual

aggressive

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Some Emotional and Intuitive Differences

Between Man and Woman

1. Women tend to be more personal than Men. They tend to have a deeper interest in people and feelings (building relationships), while men tend to be more preoccupied with

practicalities that can be understood through logical deduction.Men tend to be more

conquer-oriented, hence their strong interest in sports such as football and boxing. Men tend to be less desirous and knowledgeable in building intimate relationships, both with women and with others.

2. Women tend to find their identity in close relationships, while Men gain their identity through vocations.

3. Women become an intimate part of their surroundings, the people they know and the things that surround them, they enter into a kind of “oneness” with their environment.

Though a man relates to people and

situations, he does not allow his identity to become entwined with them. He somehow remains apart. That is why a woman views her home, cooking ability, etc., as an extension of herself and can be hurt when it’s criticized by others.A man may not realize this but when he yells at the kids for something they did, his

4. Women often need more time to adjust to change. Because of a woman’s emotional identity with people, and places around her, she needs more time to adjust to change that may affect her relationships. A Man can logically deduce the benefits of a change and get “psyched-yp” for it in a matter of minutes. Not so with a woman. Since she focuses on immediate

consequences of relocating, e.g., she needs time to overcome the initial adjustment before warming up to the advantages of it. 5. Women tend to express their hostility verbally whereas Men

tend to be more physically violent.

6. Women do catch subliminal messages faster and more accurately than Men. Since this intuition is based on an unconscious mental process, many women “feel” something about a situation or people, while Men tend to follow a logical analysis of circumstances or people.

7. A Woman’s sexual drive tends to be related to her menstrual cycle, while a Man’s drive is fairly constant. A Woman is

stimulated more by touch and romantic words. A Man is usually less discriminating about those to whom he is physically

attracted. While a Man needs little or no preparation for sex, a woman often needs hours of emotional and mental preparation. Harsh or abusive treatment can easily remove her desire for sexual intimacy for days at a time. When a woman’s emotions have been trampled by her husband, she is often repulsed by his advances. However a Man may not be aware of what he is putting his wife through.