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Funny newspaper headlines

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Deer Kill 17,000

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New

Vaccine May Contain Rabies

College Opens Doors to Hearing

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Include your Children When Baking Cookies

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

The following are real strange headlines

from various newspapers.

This document layout is copyright 1997-2003 Steven Ward (me).

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Unlike other headline lists on the web, this list is updated on a monthly basis and where possible I have listed the paper where the headline origniated.

Last modified: Thursday, 16-Sep-2004 14:10:47 BST

Please click on the letter below to view headlines beginning with it.

[ All items ] [ A ] [ B ] [ C ] [ D ] [ E ] [ F ] [ G ] [ H ] [ I ] [ J ] [ K ] [ L ] [ M ] [ N ] [ O ] [ P ] [ Q ] [ R ] [ S ] [ T ] [ U ] [ V ] [ W ] [ X ] [ Y ] [ Z ]

1. $200 Fine Risk For Mobile Car Use -- Sunday Mail

2. £20 To Fight Crime In England And Wales -- Local Government First (LGA Newsletter}

3. £3 To Drive Into City -- Evening Standard

4. 02 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter 5. 1.6 Million Cherokees Are Recalled -- L.A Times 6. 10 Revolting Officers Executed

7. 12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash 8. 17 Aliens Held

9. 18 Hurt In Cheese Roll

10. 18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests - The Times 11. 20-Year Friendship Ends At Altar

12. 29 Hurt As Students Demand Right To Cheat 13. 29 Nations Approve Bribery Ban

14. 4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves

15. 40 Men Escape Watery Graves When Vessel Flounders In Ale 16. 500-Year-Old Child Found -- The Australian.

17. 500 Elves Loose

18. 7 Reasons Why Teacher's Find Us Top Class -- T4Teachers advertisment 19. A Million ET's Get New Identity Deal

20. Ability To Swim May Save Children From Drowning 21. Abstention From Sex Does Not Make One Stupid - Nurse 22. Accident Made Salesman "Too Nice" For Job - Daily Telegraph

23. Accordionists Seek Some Respect -- AP headline This appeared on the same day as:

24. ACT Women's Conference Pursues Broad Agenda -- Our Voice - PSU Group Report

25. Acupuncture May Up Chance of Test-Tube Pregnancy -- Reuters headline 26. Admits Shooting Husband From Stand,During Trial

27. Afrikaaners Find God In London - Sundy Independent (South Africa) 28. After 100 Years, Coward Celebration -- AP headline

29. Air Head Fired -- Chicago Sun-Times 30. Airborne Deer Kills Man - New York Times

31. Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents - Report -- Reuters headline 32. Airport Plea For Visitors To Stay Away - Scotsman

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34. Aladdin's Cave Wins Village Shop Award 35. Alaska Warned: Don't Become Florida

36. Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking -- The Hartford Courant, November 18 37. Alien Gangs Prey On UK -- Daily Mirror

38. Alien Hedgehogs Spread Terror In The Hebrides-- The Times 39. Alien In Sydney Pines For Port -- Adelaide Advertiser.

40. Alien Unit Probe May Lead To Further Action -- Johannesburg Star

41. Aliens Are In Control Of Blair, Say Serb Psychics -- Independent On Sunday. 42. Aliens Blamed For Woes Of Society

43. Aliens Crammed Into Toilet 44. Aliens Eat Swamp

45. Aliens Found At Pentagon -- Sutton On Sunday (Sutton Coldfield).

46. Aliens On "Student" Visas Slip Under Net - Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 47. Aliens On Jakarta Blacklist

48. Aliens To Fill Future Jobs Need Say Experts -- Irish Independent 49. All-Stars Turn On Sparse Crowd

50. American Ships Head To Lybia

51. Americans Driven To Suicide By Fear Of Death -- Daily Telegraph 52. Amnesia Costs Accountant 11 Years

53. Analysis: Jobs End Welfare

54. Ancient Blonde Corpses Raise Questions

55. Ancient Chinese Tradition Develops -- AP headline

56. Ancient King To Watch Over Bike Network -- Southampton Daily Echo 57. Angel's Future Now 'Secure' -- The Licencee.

58. Angels On Cloud Nine After Award -- The Licencee.

59. Animal 'Fart Tax' Puts Wind up New Zealand Farmers -- AFP headline 60. Animals Take Over Village That Changed Hands Twice - Irish Times 61. Animals Turn To Teaching

62. Antibacterial Ingredient in Shampoo May Prevent HIV -- Reuters headline 63. Antique Stripper To Display Wares At Store

64. Ants Show BT How To Control Computers 65. Aquarium Lands Bomber -- Bristol Evening Post 66. Arafat Swears In Cabinet

67. Archangels To Guard Vatican In Cyberspace

68. Armageddon Ahead, Please Fasten Your Bible Belt -- Times (London) 69. Armageddon Could Threaten United's Promotion Push

70. Army Felled By Sheep -- Express

71. Army Social Worker Punched His Boss At Conference On Anger -- Irish Times 72. Around The World Rhinos Crash Back To Earth -- Guardian.

73. Arson Blamed on Fires at Maryland Arts Center -- Washington Post 74. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

75. Artificial Intelligence Like Real Thing

76. Asbestos Man In Compensation Bid -- Hounslow Guardian 77. Asbestos Suit Pressed

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80. Attack By ET Proves Costly 81. Attack By Goat Ends In Car Ban

82. Attack On Rat Mistaken For Chinese -- Daily Post 83. Auditor Confronts Martian - Irish Times

84. Autos Killing 110 A Day Let's Resolve To Do Better 85. Average Movie Cost Reaches $53.4M

86. Axe For Media School's Head -- Johannesburg, Star.

87. "Bibles Sold To The Dead" Claim -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus. 88. "Boom Box" Explodes, One Dead -- Reuters headline

89. Babies Used To Sneak Drugs Into Prison

90. Baboon Becomes A Landlady -- The Parrot (Ghana) 91. Baboon Tossers Are Welcome -- Grantham Journal 92. Baby Boomers Not Planning to Retire

93. Bachelors Prefer Beauty To Brains In Their Wives 94. Bacteria Go Bald And Lose Their Grip

95. Bacteria May Make Bullet Proof Vests

96. Bad Driving Causes Most Car Crashes -- London Evening Standard 97. Bad Food Makes A Poor Picnic.

98. Baker Stabbed Woman 99 Times In Self-Defence - Irish Times 99. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood

100. Banana Forced Officer To Have Sex 101. Banana On Sodomy Charges - Guardian

102. Bananas And Oranges Linked To Violent Crime -- Sunday Telegraph 103. Bananas Get Animated

104. Bangkok Launches Anti-Butt Campaign -- Arab News (Jeddah) 105. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board

106. Bankrupt Association Termed In Poor Shape --Lawrence (Ka) Journal-World 7/12/77

107. Baptists Halt Talks With Catholics -- AP headline 108. Baywatch Star Objects To Fake Sex

109. BBC Raises Dead To Give Comedy New Life -- Times. 110. Bearded Lady Sues Dwarf -- UPI headline

111. Beatrix Potter Bolied Squirrels -- Sunday Times 112. Beavers Fly Flag In Uganda

113. Belgian Man Saves Fish with Kiss of Life -- Reuters headline 114. Bible Belt Leads U.S. in Divorces -- AP headline

115. Bible Church's Focus Is The Bible -- Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994

116. Bible Proofreaders Sweat the Small Stuff -- AP headline 117. Big Black Hole Found In The Sky

118. Bike Cop Finds Man With Crack -- Mt. Airy News in Mt. Airy, NC 119. Bird Bath Takes Flight -- Bridlington (Humberside) Free Press. 120. Bird Crime Up -- Dally Telegraph.

121. Bishop Attacks Childless Couples -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner. 122. Biting Nails Can Be Sign Of Tenseness In A Person -- The Daily Gazette

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123. Black-Belt Prosecutor Leg-Locks Defendant -- Reuters Headline 124. Blind Bishop Appointed To See

125. Blind Man Bites Guide Dog In Drunken Rage - Daily Telegraph 126. Blind Rioters Apprehended In Zambia

127. Blind Users Stymied By New Internet Graphics

128. Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years 129. Blue Skies Unless Its Cloudy --San Francisco Chronicle 5/29/??

130. Body Found On Boat Seized By Bailiffs And Due To Be Auctioned -- Isle Of Wight County Press

131. Body Of Unarmed Man Slain By Police Leaving For Africa -- Associated Press.

132. Body Wants New Blood - Chingford Guardian

133. Bold Plan To Put Capetown On Map - Sunday Times Business News (Johannesburg)

134. Bomb Hit By Library

135. Bookbinder Wants His Ashes Kept in Special Book on Library Shelf -- PA headline

136. Boots Fined For Selling Underage Girl Dracula 137. Boy Cooks Must Eat Own Vitals

138. Boy Trapped Inside His Own Body Gets £3.3m -- Wolverhampton Express & Star.

139. Boy Who Drowned Couldn't Swim -- The Province Vancouver, BC, Canada, 18th Or 19th September 2000

140. Brain Bank Seeks More Deposits -- Reuters headline

141. Bridge Sets 60 Mph Limit For Pedestrians -- Dundee Courier 142. Bring Back The Bongs, Say Mps -- Metro.

143. Britain's Radioactive Lobsters Upset Norway - Independent

144. Britain Inches Grudgingly Towards Metric System -- Reuters headline 145. Britain To Free Children From Soccer Slavery - The Times

146. British Ducks Have Regional Accents, Researchers Say -- AFP headline 147. British Gay Activists Scale Palace

148. British Helicopters Could Shoot Themselves Down -- AFP headline 149. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands -- Daily Telegraph

150. British MPs to Drink Ethically Produced Coffee 151. British Push Bottles Up Germans

152. British Soldiers Sue over Stress in Battle -- Reuters headline 153. British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply

154. Briton Gored By Bull In Intensive Care - Daily Telegraph 155. Brothel Found at Car Repair Shop -- AP headline

156. Buddhist Monk Hacks Off Errant Abbots Head With Kitchen Knife 157. Bug Spawns 100 Year Old Babies -- Metro (London)

158. Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy

159. Bull's Sperm Comes Under The Hammer 160. Bull Swallows Autopsy Report

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162. Butter Said as Deadly as Cigarettes -- AP headline

163. Butts Slams Beer Ads Featuring Animal Sex -- UPI headline 164. C.I.A. Drafts Covert Plan to Topple Saddam

165. Cabbage Diced In Social Unrest - The Austrailian 166. Cabbage Privatised - Guardian

167. Cabbage Startles Solicitors -- Meridian News

168. California Governor Makes Stand on Dirty Toilets -- Reuters headline 169. California Hopes For An Alien Invasion To Solve Jobs Crisis - Times

Interface Supplement

170. California Seeks 13,000 Sex Offenders 171. California Wildlife Destroys Over 40 Homes

172. Canada Could Face Sperm Shortage -- Canadian Press headline 173. Canadian Prime Minister Doesn't Think Bush Is 'a Moron' -- Reuters

headline

174. Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Mann

175. Car Lost In Untended Garden - Daily Telegraph 176. Cardigan Keeps Hampshire Cosy - Guardian

177. Caribbean Bananas Are Ethical Bananas --UK Minister 178. Caribbean Islands Drift To Left

179. Carter Plans Swell Deficit 180. Carter Ticks Off Black Help

181. Cash Boost By Elderly Satan -- Dudley Express & Star. 182. Cash Boost For Truancy -- Hounslow Guardian

183. Cash Compost Means That Trees Can Grow On Money -- The Times 184. Cash Plea To Help Dyslexic Cildren -- South Wales Evening Post 185. Cat Tossing Latest Fad On Israeli Highways

186. Cats To Replace Husbands -- Times 187. Cattleman Grilled by Oprah's Lawyers 188. Cause Of Aids Found - Scientists

189. Cave Plan Arouses Stalactite Concern -- Irish Times. 190. Celibacy Could Make Priests Extinct -- Dally Record. 191. Cement Supplies Seen As Adequate

192. Cemetery Faces Grave Problems Over Space -- Basingstoke Observer 193. Central Bank Aims To Replace The Mattress -- Guardian

194. Chaos As Church Split Widens -- Nairobi Nation.

195. Chaos As Dead Rat Makes A Break For It - Manchester Evening News 196. Chaos Warning As The Sun Explodes -- Metro (London)

197. Charges Filed in Fla. Electrocution -- AP headline

198. Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years 199. Chef Finds New Game as Rat Exterminator -- Reuters headline

200. Chef Gets Life for Cooking Wife -- Reuters headline 201. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy 202. Cher Immortalized in Plastic -- AP headline 203. Chicken Banned From Crossing The Road

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206. Child Abuse Service Gains Corporate Sponsorship -- The Adelaide Advertiser.

207. Childminders Get Right To Smack -- Daily Telegraph 208. Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden

209. Children Can Glow Safely -- Luton News

210. China Drag Queens Have Officials On Their Knees

211. Chinchilla Dirige El Museo Arqueologico Nacional -- (Chinchilla Is Manager Of The National Archaeological Museum) El Pais (Spain).

212. Chinese Apeman Dated

213. Chocolate Biscuit Bites Man In Midnight Snack Attack -- Shetland Times 214. Chocolates, Kissing Could Help Fight Cavities -- AFP headline

215. Chopper Search For Man In Underpants -- Luton News 216. Chou Remains Cremated

217. Christ's Plans Under Fire From Wandsworth -- Richmond & Twickenham Times.

218. Christ Resigns As Police Chief

219. Christian Cars Stoned in Nazareth -- AP headline 220. Christmas Trees Don't Grow On Trees

221. Church Goes Missing

222. Church Homes Shut For Employing Christians

223. Church In Northwick Talks -- Berrows Worcester Journal. 224. Church Members Given Right To Die -- Guardian

225. Church Plan Upsets Brothel -- Adelaide Advertiser

226. Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless -- Straits Times (Singapore) 227. City May Impose Mandatory Time, For Prostitution

228. City Pact Fight Boils

229. City Workers Rarely Fired for Doing a Bad Job -- Houston Chronicle headline

230. Cliches, to Be Honest with You, Drive Us Mad -- Reuters headline 231. Clinton Claims Credit for Y2K Quash -- AP headline

232. Clinton Demands Children's Drug Dosages

233. Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands - Bangor Maine News

234. Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons -- Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6

235. Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal - The Bosnia Bugle

236. Cloning Warning As Japanese Grow Frog Eyes In Laboratory -- Daily Mail

237. Cocaine Use Hits New High -- Brentwood Yellow Advertiser 238. Cold Is No Good For Blubs -- Richmond Borough Guardian 239. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures

240. Collapsed Bridge in China Faulty -- AP headline 241. Collegians Are Turning To Vegatables

242. Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers

243. Community Bands Together to Help Burn Victim's Family -- Bay City (Mich.) Times headline

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245. Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly 246. Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly 247. Compromise on Ten Commandments -- AP headline 248. Condom Firm Streches Product Line

249. Condon's Pledge To Murder Witnesses - Daily Mail 250. Confidence Sinks in September -- UPI headline

251. Congressmen Try To Revive Suit -- International Herald Tribune. 252. Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies

253. Constipation Is Not the Root of All Evil After All -- Reuters headline 254. Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test

255. Cops Demanding Bribes From Aliens -- Johannesburg Star. 256. Cops Halt Doughnut Shop Robbery

257. Cops Quiz Victim In Fatal Shooting

258. Cops: Man Steals Car to Get to [Car] Theft Hearing -- Jersey City Journal headline

259. Coroner In Call To Put A Stop To Drink-All-You-Can-Nights After Death -- Sheffield Star

260. Cost of Being Poor Rising -- Denver Post headline

261. Council Informs Woman Who Died Two Years Ago She Is Dead -- Irish Times

262. Council Not Liable Over Fatally Locked Widows -- The Times 263. Council Staff Could Be Axed -- Hounslow Guardian

264. County Bars Further Erections

265. County Officials Seek Public Input On Adult Stores - Hunstville (Texas) Item

266. County Officials To Talk Rubbish

267. Couple Names Baby After Web Site -- AP headline 268. Couple Slain: Police Suspect Homicide

269. Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -- Journal of Commerce, April 20

270. Court Would Not Accept God Paid For TV Licence -- Somerset Standard 271. Cow Attacks School Cook -- Halifax Evening Courier

272. Cow Disarms Soldier, Another Kills Witch

273. Cow in Police Custody Linked to Headless Chicken Case -- Lansing (Mich.) State Journal headline

274. Cow Thefts Blamed on Low-Carb Craze -- Tallahassee Democrat headline 275. Cowboy Warning In Tornado-Hit Town -- Ceefax (BBC Teletext Service) 276. Crashed Jet May Have Flown Too Low -- AP headline

277. Crazed Elephant Found In Sea

278. Creepy, Crawly Creatures Invade DC -- AP headline

279. Crematorium Plans Put On Back Burner -- Selkirk Advertiser 280. Cretin Streaking Toward National Record -- Minneapolis (Mn) Star

Tribune.

281. Crime Rise Blamed On Lack Of Police -- ITV Teletext Service 282. Crook Joins Barclaycard UK -- Financial Times

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284. Cuba Tries Short Cut To Tailor Economy-- The Times 285. Curious George Goes High-tech -- AP headline

286. Cuts Could Hurt Animals -- The West Briton

287. 'Dead' woman wins pension apology - BBC News website 288. Damp Patches Discovered On Sun

289. Danish Pastor Who Refused to Believe in God Suspended -- AFP headline 290. Dead-Beats Contribute to Poverty -- AP headline

291. Dead Dictator Wanted as President -- Reuters headline 292. Dead Dogs Explode -- Bakersfield Californian

293. Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round -- Sun 294. Dead Man Accuses President -- Guardian.

295. Dead Man Catches 23lb Carp -- News 0f The World 296. Dead Man Found In Cemetery

297. Dead Man Gets Job Back 298. Dead Man Remains Dead

299. Dead Man Wins His Unfair Sacking Battle -- Daily Mail This headline followed:

300. Dead Youth Had Serious Medical Condition - The Dominion (New Zealand)

301. Deadly Centipede Chases Postman - Daily Telegraph 302. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing

303. Deaf Magician Disqualified For Hearing -- D. Telegraph. 304. Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing

305. Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon

306. Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon 307. Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation 308. Death Ruled Unavoidable - Seattle Times 309. Deer Congress To Be Held In Cork 310. Deer Kill 130,000

311. Deer Kill 17,000

312. Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence.

313. Delivering "Extra Strong" Support For The Three Legged -- The Stage 314. Detective Loses Pyjamas In Chase -- Metro

315. Devil's Head Found In Back Seat - The Advertiser (South Austrailia) 316. Devil Could Play Host To The Second Coming Of The Tiger -- Brisbane

Courier Mail.

317. Devil May Postpone Release Of Calicivirus 318. Diaper Market Bottoms Out

319. Did Parrots Coexist With Dinosaurs? -- AP headline 320. Diet Of Premature Babies "Affects IQ" -- Guardian

321. Dinosaurs Struggle For Survival - Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal

322. Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -- The New York Times, March 10

323. Discoveries: Older Blacks Have Edge In Longevity -- The Chicago Tribune, March 5

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325. Disney Stories Are Unfair On Mad People Says Doctor -- Evening Standard

326. Divine Intervention by Taxi Firm -- Border TV Regional Ceefax 313. Full story click Here

327. Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil -- Times

328. Divorce Leaves Man Blind - Sunday Times (South Africa) 329. Doctor Raps "Negligence" -- Daily Mirror

330. Doctor Testifies In Horse Suit

331. Does Sex Makes Women Sprinters Faster?? -- Reuters headline 332. Dog's Eye Saved By Pig Intestine -- Times.

333. Dog Accused Of Racism -- D. Telegraph

334. Dog Dirt In Park - Group Leaders Step In -- Congleton Guardian 335. Dog In Bed, Asks Divorce

336. Doggie Perfume Sets Tails Wagging -- Reuters headline 337. Dogs Are Being Taught To Do Housework For The Disabled 338. Dolphins, Whales, Seals Do Research -- AP headline

339. Double-Hand Transplant Patient Applauds Operation -- Reuters headline 340. Doughnut Trail Leads Cops to Thief -- Reuters headline

341. Down Under Love for Princess Anne's Daughter -- Reuters headline 342. Downside to Fewer Violent Deaths: Transplant Organ Shortage Grows --

New York Times headline

343. Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors

344. Dragons Help Fund Cure For Diabetes -- North Bay (Ontario) Nugget. 345. Dragons Slay Galaxy -- Lewiston (Maine) Sun-Journal.

346. Drive To Ban Horse Whipping Mushrooms

347. Driver Shocked As Sheep Emerges From Pothole -- Western Mail 348. Drug Abuse "Can Be Beaten By Joint Effort"

349. Drug Dealers Dealt Heavy Blow Say Police 350. Drug Squad Nabs Flying Carpets -- Independent. 351. Drugs Fine For Businessman

352. Drugs Giant Gets Shot In Arm -- Western Dally Press. 353. Drunk Ex-US Marine Hits Corpse -- Irish Times 354. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

355. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84

356. Duck Meat Pie Kills Three Colombian Nuns -- Infobeat 357. Ducks Banned From Duck Pond

358. DUI Coordinator Resigns After Being Charged With DUI -- AP headline 359. Dumped Fish Remains Upset -- Wellington (NZ) Evening Post

360. Dutch to Extend Free Heroin Hand-Outs to Addicts -- Reuters headline 361. Dutch Undertakers Hire Clown to Lighten the Mood -- PA headline 362. Dyke Calls Up Daleks To Take On Hollywood -- Sunday Times 363. E.T.'s Wife Dragged To Court -- Weekly Newswatch (Ghana) 364. Eagle Found In Man's Sink

365. Earth Summit "Offers no help for East Kent" -- East Kent Mercury 366. Economist Uses Theory To Explain Economy -- Collinsville

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367. Ecstasy Found In Mans Pants -- Eastern Evening News 368. El Nino Blamed for Rise in Diarrhea in Peru

369. Elf Bribed To Get Plant -- Nairobi Nation

370. Elf Condoms Stolen -- Wolverhampton Express & Star 371. Elf To Sell Major North Sea Assets -- BBC Ceefax. 372. Eloping Lover, 92, In Court - The Times

373. Elves Laid Off as Santa Feels Pinch -- AP headline 374. Emotional Trauma May Actually Reduce Brain Size

375. End Of Cold War Does Little To Reduce Trench Coat Sales

376. Energy Executives Urge Some Gas-Emission Limits on Bush -- New York Times headline

377. Enfant Terrible Sees a Message in Underpants 378. Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

379. English Solicitors Hope To Inspire Ugandan Ethics -- Law Society Gazette

380. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax 381. Enraged Cow Injures House

382. ET Guilty Of Attempted Murder -- The Star And SA Times International 383. EU Minister Hunts Rubber Duck to Near Extinction. -- The Times 384. EU Must Unite On Drugs

385. EU Official Hunts Rubber Duck To Near Extinction -- Times 386. EU Plans £70m Tower Of Babel -- Sunday Times

387. Eunuchs Strut Their Stuff on Indian Catwalk -- AFP headline 388. Euro MP Due To Visit Pluto - Bristol Evening Post

389. Everyday People Say They Prefer Ethics in Government -- East Brunswick (N.J.) Home News Tribune headline

390. Evil Spirits Banned From Coffee Bar -- Daily Telegraph 391. Evil Spirits Clash With Holy Ghost

392. Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom -- AP headline

393. Ex-Head Tells Of Elf's Work As Paris Agent --Int. Herald Tribune 394. Expert Has Brains Of BSE Chicken

395. Expert: Ignorance May Worsen Situation -- UPI headline 396. Experts Bury British Coal - Guardian

397. Explosion Of Professors At Universities - Sunday Times 398. Exposing the Truth: Defendant Moons Jury -- AP headline 399. Eye Drops Off Shelf

400. "Flying Rats" Have Bank In Flap -- Irish News.

401. Face Transplants No Longer Science Fiction -- Reuters headline 402. Fairies From Outer Space Go Missing On Train To Sunderland --

Sunderland Echo

403. Fairy Returned Safe And Well -- Middlesborough Evening Gazette. 404. Fairy Tourists Spark Warning To Children -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus 405. Fake Condoms Kill Adam And Eve In China

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409. Family Issues Ultimatum Over Crater -- Yorkshire Regional Ceefax 410. Family Of 17 Defects From North Korea

411. Farm Worker Axed Friends to Death, Court Told -- PA headline 412. Farmer Bill Dies In House

413. Farmer Bitten Splitting Dogs 414. Fatal Mudslide Blamed On Hill

415. Faulty Parts Bring The World To A Halt

416. Fayed's Chopper Drives Us Crazy -- Ealing & Acton Gazette 417. Fears Over Singing Lollipop -- Johannesburg Times

418. Feds Step Up Laundering Crackdown -- AP headline

419. Fence Not Keeping Deer From Waltzing -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 420. Ferries Must Stay Afloat In Worst Of Storms, Say Safety Engineers 421. Few Britons Feel Death Had Lasting Effect On Them -- Johannesburg Star 422. Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary -- AFP headline 423. Final Funerals In Arkansas -- Daily Telegraph

424. Fine Young Man Convicted Of Misdemeanor

425. Fish Around On New Web Sites -- Watford Observer.

426. Fish Lurk In Streams -- Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29

427. Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation At High School 428. Fleeing Aliens Denied Entry Into Tanzania

429. Floods Only Bring More Tears

430. Florida May Need Disabled Voter Machines -- AP headline 431. Flowers To Ease Famine -- Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph 432. Fly Genes Mixed into Chicken Soup -- UPI headline 433. Flying Bishop Pursued -- Guardian

434. Flying Goats Spark Alarm

435. Flying Rabbis Try To Ward Off Iraqi Attack -- Daily Telegraph 436. Food Is Basic To Student Diet --Bridgeport (Cn) Post 1/18/78 437. Foot Heads Arms Body -- Daily Mirror

438. For Valentine's Day, Try to Plan Your Spontaneity -- Indianapolis Star headline

439. Former Manager "Growled Like A Dog" When He Bit Man's Ear -- Irish Times

440. Former Python To Open Giraffe House -- The News (Portsmouth) 441. Fossil Scientists Track Down Oldest Footprints In The World 442. Fox Offers Mexicans An End To Monologue - Financial Times 443. Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In The Cold -- Lexington

Herald-Leader, January 26

444. Free Speech For Aliens

445. French Minister 'Condoned Police Shooting Of Aliens' - Guardian

446. French Police Suspect Nudist Site Has Something to Hide -- AFP headline 447. Frequent Handshaking May Be Hazardous to Candidates -- AFP headline 448. Friends Trade Tattered Card for 49 Years -- AP headline

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450. Frozen Semen Talks -- from an Australian paper; an article on a visit by the Victorian Artificial Breeders Co-op

451. Frying Squirrel Blamed for Sunday Power Outage -- Muskegon (Mich.) Chronicle headline

452. FT Not To Blame For Journalists' Suffering -- Independent 453. Fuchsia Talks -- Bristol Evening Post

454. Fund Set Up For Beating Victim's Kin 455. Fur Flies In Cat Kitty -- Evening News?

456. Future Bright for Super Stainless Steel -- AFP headline 457. "Goofy" Confesses To 140 Murders -- Irish Times. 458. "Gunproof" Chief Shot -- South China Morning Post 459. Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants

460. Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out - The Tallahassee Bugle 461. Gays in Roanoke Recover After Slaying -- AP headline

462. Geckos Reveal Creativity, Expertise -- The Nambian 463. General Eisenhower Flies Back To Front

464. General Motors: Air Bag Failure Not a Concern -- AP headline 465. Genetic Engineering Splits Scientists

466. Gentler War Promised in Colombia -- AP headline 467. German Airbag Theft Exploding -- Reuters headline

468. German Army Is Told To Let Women Fight -- Int. Herald Tribune 469. German Driver Beaten for Observing Speed Limit -- Reuters headline 470. German Magnetic Train Moves Forward

471. German Soldiers Fear The Arrival Of Women -- Daily Telegraph 472. Ghosts In $1M Fraud -- Melbourne Herald-Sun

473. Ghosts Take Derby -- Lynn News 474. Ghoul Drinks Blood On Bus

475. Giant Snail Shuts Down Tassie Port -- Townsville (Queensland) Austrilia 476. Giant Snails Get Set To Take Over -- Halifax Evening Courier.

477. Giant Tea Bag Kept Families Up All Night! -- Oxford Journal. 478. Giant Tea Bags Protest

479. Giant Waves down Queen Mary’s funnel -- Guardian, 1950s 480. Giantkillers Stretch Town To The Limit

481. Ginger Cat Found in Mousehole Area -- Unknown Cornish Paper 482. Girl, 14, Saved By Dog's Eyes -- Daily Post

483. Gnome Sparks Srike -- The Weekend Australian 484. God Commissions £10 Theme Park -- Building Design

485. God Gets A Parking Caution: "No Exceptions" Say Police -- York & District Advertiser

486. God Holds Up Traffic

487. God Is 'More Important' The Second Time Around -- D. Telegraph 488. God Sends A Sign To The Heathen In The Chevy -- Independent. 489. God Throws Dice Into Black Hole

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493. Gore Helps Kids Learn Gibberish -- AP headline 494. Gore Stands Behind Clinton

495. Gorillas Of Rwanda Lecture At Museum Of Natural History 496. Gothic Secret Of New York's Invisible Nuns

497. Government's Attack On Greys Premature -- Victoria (Bc) Times Colonial 498. Governor's Penis Busy - [Should Be -Pen Is -] The New Haven

Connecticut Register

499. Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters - The Tallahassee Democrat

500. Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One

501. Gravy Train Slows Down At Morgue -- San Francisco Examiner 502. Great Wall Getting Less Great -- Reuters headline

503. Great White Shark Battered To Death By Holidaymakers -- The Times 504. Greece Declares War on Bad Cheese -- AP headline

505. Greek Bars Close Early In Protest At Early Closure

506. Green Man Causes Jams -- Walthamstow (London) Guardian 507. Groin Kick Led To 7-Day Erection -- Examiner (Cork - Ireland) 508. Grover Man Draws Prison Term, Fine For Sex Acts

509. Guinea-Pig Judge Quits

510. Gunman Shot By 999 Cops -- Daily Mirror 511. Gynecologist, Friar In Wine Deal

512. Haddock Bids For NFU Leadership -- Western Morning News

513. Haddock Leads The Race For Top Farmers' Job -- Western Daily Press 514. Hairdo Kills Mum - Daily Mirror

515. Hairdresser "On Another Planet" -- Southampton Daily Echo

516. Half-Blind Swede Loses Battle for Half-Price TV -- Reuters headline 517. Half Of Scottish Farms In The Red -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000. Also in

the same paper

518. Half Of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study For Graduation 519. Half Women Living In Fear -- Daily Record

520. Half-Million Italian Women Seen On Pill

521. Hamiltons To Be Shot Into Space -- Midweek Visitor (Southport) 522. Happiness Cannot Be Bought but it Lengthens Life

523. Harrowing, Hungry Voyage For 22 Aliens -- New York Daily News 524. Head In Pot Lands Man In Can -- Rockland (NY) Journal News

525. Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee -- AP headline 526. Heads Fly To Funeral

527. Heads In Short Supply

528. Heads Thrown Out Of Meeting -- Woolwich & Plumstead News Shopper 529. Headless Chickens Roam The Commons -- Daily Express

530. Health Officials Were Given Hip Warning In 1995 -- The Times 531. Heart Donor Recovers -- Irish Independant

532. Heaven Is Giving Up Smoking, Says Pope -- Daily Mail.

533. Henman Sees Balls As Key To His Success -- Evening Standard 534. Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity, To Goose Hunters

(15)

536. Higher Costs Explain Why U.S. is Cheaper than U.K. -- Reuters headline 537. Hitler Hits Tourists -- - Wolverhampton Express & Star

538. Hitler Travelled For Years After Death -- Melbourne Age. 539. Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic

540. Hobgoblins Have A Wardrobe Problem -- Cornishman 541. Holy Russia Quashes Alien Worship -- Independent 542. Home Secretary To Act On Video Nasties

543. Honey, Let's Dye the Dog Red and Green for Christmas -- AFP headline 544. Hooked on Internet? Help Is a Just a Click Away -- Reuters headline 545. Hooters Off-Limits to Coast Guard

546. Hopes Soar For First Supersonic Pumpkin Flight - The Times 547. Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game In '81

548. Horse Goes Back In Time For New Look -- The Licensee. 549. Hospital Ban On Babies -- Newark Advertiser

550. Hospital Plans Hinge On Roads -- Oxford Times. 551. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors

552. Hostage-Taker Kills Self; Police Shoot Each Other 553. Hotel Burns.Two Hundred Guests Escape Half Glad

554. Hotline To God Great Success -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus. 555. House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate

556. How Many Condoms Is Enough?

557. How Sardines Saved Stranded Potholers -- Daily Mail. 558. How to Drink and Still Stay Sober -- Reuters headline

559. How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Har -- Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5

560. Human Version of Fly Gene Found

561. Humpty Dumpty Wins Award For Balance

562. Hundreds Hurt During Annual Stone-throwing Festival -- PA news headline

563. Hungry Body Ate Fasting Buddhist Alive -- The Times 564. Hunt For Doorstep Attacker -- Halifax Evening Courier 565. Hunt For Killer Toxic Lard -- Homg Kong Standard 566. Husband Bites Wife's 'Thing' - The Monitor (Uganda)

567. Husband Put Rat Poison In Wife's Tea "As A Health Cure" -- Daily Telegraph

568. Husband's Internet Date Turns out to Be His Wife -- PA headline 569. I Did Exist Says Major -- Mirror.

570. Iceberg Blamed For Dysentery

571. Idaho Group Organizes To Help, Service Widows 572. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly It May Last A While 573. Ike Says Nixon Can't Stand Pat

574. Illinois Mulls Capital Punishment Reform after Mistakes -- AFP headline 575. I'm Not Cruel Says Maggot Dog Woman -- South Avon Mercury

576. Impotent Must Say No To Sausages And Bacon -- Times. 577. Incest More Common Than Thought In America

(16)

579. India's Nuclear Yeti

580. Indicted Man Might Be Part Of Plot -- AP headline 581. Infant Morality Shows Drop Here

582. Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On 583. Inmate Electrocuted On Toilet

584. Inquest Opens on Dead Woman -- Bath Chronicle 585. Insect Sex Organs Rise From The Dead -- New Scientist

586. Insects Play Important Role In Helping To Solve Crimes -- Irish Times. 587. Invisible Man Comes Out Of Hiding -- Sydney Daily Telegraph.

588. Invisible Man Disappears From View -- Reuters headline

589. Invisible Man Faked Death In Paddington Rail Crash -- Sunday Times 590. Invisible Tenants Get Council Cash -- Wimbledon Independent. 591. Iowa Move Back To Pittsburgh

592. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

593. Irish Mice Win Design Award -- Irish Times. 594. Irish Peat Bogs Rocked By Great Sheep Explosion 595. Irish Robots Win At Volleyball -- Irish Times. 596. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

597. Isn't It Dangerous Trying To Drive Two Cars At Once? -- Leyton Guardian

598. Israeli Men Say Better Sex Would Create Social Peace 599. Israeli Religious Leader Bans Nose Picking on Sabbath 600. It's Always Best To Avoid Killer Bee Hives.

601. Italian Plane Passengers See Flames, Vote to Land -- Reuters headline 602. Jail Guard Probe In Prison Sex

603. Janet Jackson Has Another, Um, Single Out -- Arizona Republic headline 604. Japan, Russia Still Far Apart on Islands -- Reuters headline

605. Jesus "Not A Hedgehog" -- Church Times

606. Jocelyn Elders Forces Clinton's Hand -- Associated Press headline 607. Judge Acts To Reopen Theater

608. Judge Issues Preliminary Injunction In Cigarette Display Case -- Asheville (Nc) Citizen-Times.

609. Judge Says Texas is Part of U.S. 610. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach 611. Judgement Day Date Delayed

612. Judges To Learn "Human Awareness"

613. Jupiter Out Of Orbit Over Resignation -- Irish Times. 614. Jury Clears Cow in Car Accident -- AP headline

615. Jury Finds Pope Guilty Of Homicide -- This Week In The News 616. Jury Gets Drunk Driving Case Here

617. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant 618. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

619. Kids' Pajamas To Be Removed By Woolworth

(17)

623. Kremlin May Decide Outcome Of Cavan-Monaghan Election -- Irish Times

624. Kruger Park Lions Dying Like Flies -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg) 625. "Light" Meals Are Lower In Fat, Calories -- Huntington Herald-Dispatch,

November 30

626. L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide 627. Labour Councillors Worried About Disappearing Trains

628. Lack Of Brains Hinders Research -- The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 629. Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing

630. Landlord Sentenced to Die for Eating Tenant -- Reuters headline 631. Landmines -- Diana On Last Leg Of Trip -- Bbc Ceefax

632. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

633. Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers -- New Scientist

634. Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -- The Los Angeles Times, November 2

635. Latin Course To Be Canceled - No Interest Among Students, Et Al. 636. Law Prohibits Swearing Around the Dead -- AP headline

637. Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests 638. Lawyer Calls Soul As Witness

639. Lawyer Frees Own Killer -- News 0f The World 640. Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advise

641. Lazy, Fat Dragons To Go On Crash Diet In Zoo

642. Legal Actions Aim To Prevent 'Anorexic And Alien Body' Being Built -- Irish Times.

643. Legislature Follows the Law, Does Little

644. Legless Priest Steals Armless Man's Wife -- News 0f The World.

645. Lennon Guitar sells for £20,000. No Strings Attached. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo

646. Lesbian Cow Study Udderly Serious -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail headline

647. Lesbian Ex-Nun Witch Hits Bad Spell In N.Y. -- New York Post 648. Lesotho Women Make Great Carpets -- Unknown Source, Quoted By

John Preston, Sunday Telegraph.

649. Less Formal Orthodox Church Sought -- AP headline 650. Let The People Decide On Drugs -- Observer

651. Life Means Caring For Hospital Director 652. Lightning Strikes Worshippers

653. Limp Bizkit Singer: Money's Not All

654. Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -Thief Gives Police The Slip 655. Lions Elect New District Governor

656. Lions Put On Dog Show -- West Briton (Cornwall)

657. Lions Say That Was Then, This Is Now -- Johannesburg Citizen 658. Lions Still Preying On Aliens -- The Star And Sunday South African

Times

(18)

661. Living Saint Laid To Rest --Examiner

662. Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane -- D. Telegraph.

663. Llama Drama Ding-Dong. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo 664. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

665. Local Man Has Longest Horns In Texas

666. London 4800 Nurses Short -- Evening Standard

667. London Bus Goes Down Well In Moscow -- Dundee Courier. 668. Londons Homeless To Live In Admiralty Arch - The Times 669. Long Island Stiffens For Lili's Blow - Newsday

670. Lord's Mother Suing Diocese

671. Lost Scissors Found In Woman -- Guardian. 672. Lost Trees Found In Scottish Highlands

673. Low-Cost Rabies Shots To Be Offered In Transylvania -- Ashville Citizen-Times

674. Low Wages Said Key To Poverty -- Newsday, July 11 675. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms

676. Lutherans OK Pact With Episcopalians -- AP headline

677. "Master Idiot" Did Not Know Picasso Was In Suitcase -- Guardian 678. "Missing" WPC Found Weeping In Panda

679. Mad Cow Talks -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner 680. Maddened Cow Leads Farmers' Protest -- The Times 681. Mafia Boss Escapes in Wheelchair

682. Maggots Tackle Raiders 683. Magician's Car Vanishes

684. Magician Nearly Killed By Doves -- West Briton

685. Malaysian Transvestites Whack Religious Police with Handbags -- AFP headline

686. Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children -- Reuters headline 687. Male Naturist Members Rise -- Big Issue North

688. Malls Try To Attract Shoppers -- The Baltimore Sun, October 22 689. Man's Bitten Finger Was 'Trespassing' -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus. 690. Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind

691. Man Admits Stuffing Shrimp into Pants -- AP headline 692. Man Allegedly Beaten By Woman With A Frozen Fish

693. Man Appears Over Swimming Pool Body -- Bbc North Ceefax. 694. Man Attacked By Canal

695. Man Bit Head Off Girlfriend's Pet Gerbil -- Birmingham Post 696. Man Blames Reckless Driving on Martians -- Reuters headline

697. Man Charged with Meth Manufacture after Pants Explode -- AP headline 698. Man Died Of Natural Causes -- Wirral News Group

699. Man Dies After 25 Years in a Bus Shelter -- Reuters headline 700. Man Dies After Life Support Removed

701. Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish 702. Man Executed in Texas, Oklahoma -- AP headline

(19)

705. Man Frees Self From Mailbox

706. Man Goes Berserk in Car Saleroom, Many Volvos Hurt -- Reuters headline

707. Man Held In Miami After Shooting Bee 708. Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire 709. Man Hurt By Fairy Cake

710. Man Hurt When Compacted in Garbage Truck -- Reuters. Full the story click Here

711. Man In Rat Row Had Drunk 17 Pints Of Cider -- Halifax Evening Courier 712. Man Is Fatally Slain

713. Man Jailed After Restaurant Row - Indian Staff Terrified As He Demands Italian Food -- Aberdeen Evening Express.

714. Man Jailed For Exaggerating Pain -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 715. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

716. Man Of God Kicks Dog In Head -- Peterborough Eve. Telegraph. 717. Man on Singles Holiday Finds Himself Alone -- PA headline 718. Man on Way to Brothel Finds Wife Working -- Reuters headline 719. Man Ordered To Marry Cow

720. Man Plunges Over Cliff While Posing For Photo -- PA headline

721. Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies -- The Los Angeles Times, March 2 722. Man Says Israeli Police Shot Him -- AP headline

723. Man Shaved For Using Prophetess' toilet -- East African Standard 724. Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete -- The Miami Herald, July 3 725. Man Shot By Shed -- Sun

726. Man Shot In Los Boliches -- The Town Crier (Malaga) 727. Man Sought At Sea Was In Bed

728. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

729. Man Takes Garbage Truck at Gunpoint -- Madison (Indiana) Courier headline

730. Man Tells Police His Crack Dealer Ran over Him -- Greenville (S.C.) News headline

731. Man Tossing Knife in the Air Stabs Self in Head -- AP headline 732. Man Vanishes While Driving - Providence Journal-Bulletin 733. Man Wins His Job Back After He Dies -- Daily Mirror 734. Man Wins Trip For "Fathering" Rhino

735. Man With One Arm And Leg Cheats On Other Half -- News Of The World

736. Mandelson's Dog Is Reported Ready To Fly -- Irish Times

737. Mangoes Bring Down Plane - The Sunday Mail (Brisbane, Australia) 738. Manhunt For Former Elf Boss -- Irish Times.

739. Many Antiques Seen At D.A.R. Meeting

740. Many Women at Risk of Being Murdered Don't Know It -- Reuters headline

741. Marbles Tortured, Says Minister -- Irish Times. 742. March Planned For Next August

(20)

744. Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming - The New Haven Connecticut Register

745. Martian Blamed For Lib Dem Election Losses -- Woking News & Mail 746. Mary Poppins Is A Black Man -- Economist.

747. Masked Man On Horse Offered Drugs To Garda -- Irish Times

748. Mass Poisoning In Donkey Soup War -- Wolverhampton Express & Star, 749. Mayor's Ball Is Back On The Menu -- Gloucestershire Echo

750. Mayor Bans SEX At Local Library -- Mesa Tribune, (after the book, SEX, by Madonna was released)

751. Mayor Is Ousted By Mice -- Western Daily Press 752. Meat Head Fights Hike In Minimum Pay

753. Memorial Pool Now a Crumbled Mess -- AP headline

754. Memories Are Stolen After Burglars Raid Oap's Home -- Wiltshire Star. 755. Men Get A Lesson On Kerb Crawling - The Times

756. Men In Black Fail To Attract Sponsors -- Daily Telegraph 757. Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives

758. Men Think Their Way to Fertility -- Reuters headline 759. Merlin Meets The Pope -- Reading Evening Post 760. Mermaid Entertains Popular Hunchback

761. Mermaid Rescue Plan Falters

762. Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs - The Anchorage Alaska Times

763. Mexican Leader Crashes To Earth

764. Mexican Police Arrest Horse For Damaging Car - Daily Texan 765. Mexico Church Calls Santa a Drunk -- AP headline

766. Miami Considers Staying Put -- New York Times headline

767. Mice Blamed For Missing Drinks -- Wolverhampton Express & Star 768. Mice To Be Bombed

769. Mickey Mouse Found In Antartic Ice -- Modern Astronomy Magazine 770. Middle East Villages On The Move To Australia -- Brisbane Courier Mall 771. Mike Tyson Accused Of Cruelty To Ferrets -- Times.

772. Milk Drinkers Are Turning To Powder 773. Milkman Finds Leg

774. Mimes Blamed For Abusive Language 775. Miners Refuse To Work After Death

776. Ministers Son Held On Drugs -- Daily Mirror 777. Mirror Plans Rival To FT -- Observer

778. Missing Link Blamed For Road Deaths -- Newark Advertiser 779. Missing Teen Tied To Bones

780. Mistook Inmate's Noose For Decoration, Court Told -- Dundee Courier And Advertiser

781. Mobile Phone Threat To Universe

782. Moggy Found But Now The Owners Are Lost -- Waltham Forest (London) Independant

(21)

784. Mole Embraces Supermarkets

Sandy Mole Is A D&G Planning Official. - Dumfries & Galloway Standard 785. Mondale's Offensive Looks Hard To Beat

786. Monitor Lizard Fails To Explode In MP's Toilet 787. Monster Growing Out Of Control -- Guardian

788. Monsters Take To The Streets -- Sunday Mail (Queensland)

789. Months To Wait For Mouldy Flat Family -- The Citizen (Gloucester) 790. Moose Cheese To Oust Dung As Swedish Souvenir

791. More Exercise May Help Weight Loss -- AP headline 792. Moroccan Dog Was Unexploded Bomb

793. Morticians Fight Over Corpse -- Canberra Times

794. MP's Mother Joins Critic Of His Plans To "Keep Greys Away" -- Times 795. Mr. Coffee Expands its Line to Sell ... Coffee -- South Florida

Sun-Sentinel headline

796. Mrs. Corson's Seat Up For Grabs

797. Mrs. Rydell's Bust Unveiled, At Nearby School

798. Murdered Fiancés Present Petition To Number 10 -- Teletext

799. Myth and Monsters exhibition entertains and eductaes -- Westminster Independent

800. Mythical Beast Brings City Grim Message 801. N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach

802. Nader Calls Convention a 'Carnival' -- AP headline 803. Nanny Calm As Troops Close In

804. NASA Briefly Loses Contact With Atlantis - Lewiston (ME)

805. Nasa To Spend $1b On Asteroids -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 806. Nation's Hungry Attack Meese.

807. National Slacker Day May Be Too Much Effort -- Reuters headline 808. Naturism Seeks Raised Profile -- Hastings and St. Leonards Observer 809. Naval Divers To Help Sharks Settle In -- Irish Times

810. Navy To Make Boats -- -- South China Morning Post

811. Neighbours Fear Golf Balls -- Richmond and Twickenham Times 812. Nelson's Hair Saved Grandson -- Times

813. Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One

814. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One 815. New Autos To Hit 5 Million

816. New compensation rules for late flights delayed by a year -- The Times 817. New Head Of Rail Body -- Hammersmith And Fulham Post

818. New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead

819. New Lease Of Life For The Wizard – Halifax Evening Courier 820. New Markets Found For Poor Peruvians -- The Times

821. New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex

822. New South Wales Government Moves To Tighten Testosterone Availability

823. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group 824. New Tabloid "Owned By God"

(22)

826. New York Bans Judgement Day -- Guardian

827. New Zealand Scientists Use Balloon to Measure Cattle Farts -- AFP headline

828. News Crew Pickpocketed While Covering Pickpocket Story -- Mainichi Shimbun (Japan) headline

829. Nicaragua Sets Goal To Wipe Out Literacy 830. Nickers Leave Hospital Crutchless

831. Night School To Hear Pest Talk

832. Nine Yard Men Turn Supergrass -- Evening Standard

833. North Dakota Child Found To Spread Tuberculosis -- Reuters. 834. North Korean Leader Names Ancient Frog "Ancient Frog"

835. Norwegian Motorist is Slapped with Parking Ticket While Stuck in Traffic Jam -- AP headline

836. Nothing Destroyed In Fire But Damage Near $100,000 837. Nuclear Fuel Sent To Japan "Unsafe" -- Guardian. 838. Nude Scene Done Tastefully In Radio Play

839. Nudist Welfare Worker's Model Wife Falls for Chinese Hypnotist from the Co-op Bacon Factory --

840. Nuns Drop Suit; Bishops Agree To Aid Them 841. Nurse Fends Off Crocodile -- Irish Independent

842. Nurses Warn Against Rash Use Of Herbal Oil Treatments -- The Guardian 843. Ny Ponders Beating Victim -- AP Headline News of the World

844. "Only Jail Will Stop Me", Says Illegal False Teeth Fitter 845. Oap Fined For Limping Too Slowly -- Mirror

846. Oasis Album Could Be Record

847. Objections Raised To Quake Aid For Aliens 848. Officer Convicted Of Accepting Bride

849. Officers Shoot Dead Burglar In Siege -- Times

850. Official: Only Rain Will Cure Drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

851. Officials Consider Bridge Suicide

852. Officials: Elvis is Still Dead -- AP headline

853. Old Guy Found Wandering at Stadium -- AP headline 854. Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni

855. Olympic Fans Too Busy for Prostitutes -- Reuters headline 856. Omagh Team Aims To Make Pigs Fly Gracefully -- Irish Times 857. One In Three UK Girls Regret Drunken Sex

858. Only Poets Can Save Us From Millennium Buggery -- Times Of India 859. Opossum Squashing Ignites Debate

860. Oprah, Madonna Talk Marriage

861. Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax - San Antonio Rose 862. Oscar Proves God Is A Mexican -- Guardian.

(23)

866. [Roman Catholic] Priest Pleads Guilty to Making Date-Rape Drug -- Reuters

867. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

868. Panther Mauled In Election For Mayor -- Hong Kong Standard. 869. Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors -- Peterborough Evening Telegraph. 870. Passengers To Wait 10 Years For Fast Trains -- The Times

871. Pastor Aghast After First Lady Sex Position

872. Pastor Fighting To Stop Shop Selling Inflatable Sheep On Sundays - Western Mail

873. Patient At Death's Door -Doctors Pull Him Through 874. Patient With Bad Knee Has Surgery On Healthy Tooth 875. Pavarotti Anticipating Eclipse -- AP headline

876. Pd Senator Speculates On A Future In Outer Space -- Irish Times 877. Peacock Pops Alien Invaders

878. Pelicans May Be Turned Into Puffins -- The News(Portsmouth).

879. Penguin Dung May Hold Key To Human Flu -- South China Morning Post 880. Peruvian Head Takes Mystery Trip – Seattle Times

881. Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust -Free - Chicago Daily News 882. Phallus Museum Erected in Reykjavik

883. Phantom Actor Sues -- Daily Telegraph 884. Phantom Bus Didn't Show -- South Bucks Star 885. Phantom Patients Offer Healthy Income -- Guardian

886. Phantom Told To Pay Wife £3,000 A Month -- Metro (London).

887. Physicist Recommends Bigger Balls To Slow Down Male Tennis Players -Guardian

888. Pig Music Ordered Turned Down -- AP headline

889. Pigs Fly Flag For Farmers -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 890. Pilot Vows To Quit Flying After Landing On His Wife

891. Pirates Could Be Jailed -- Halifax Evening Courier. 892. Pit Bulls Love You, Really

893. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told 894. Planned Parenthood Looking For Volunteers

895. Planning Experts At Odds On Impact Of "Missing Link" 896. Plastic Factory Worked Burned -- Coventry Eve. Telegraph 897. Platform Shoes Claim Another Life -- Reuters headline

898. Please Visit Cairo but Without Your Chimpanzee Friends, Officials Say 899. Plenty of Sex Advised for Successful Pregnancy -- Reuters headline 900. Pogo Stick Girl Saves Mother From Knifeman

901. Pole Sets World Record for Pole-Sitting -- AP headline 902. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers 903. Police Discover Crack In Australia

904. Police Find Burglar Through Yellow Snow He Left Behind -- Reno Gazette-Journal headline

905. Police Hunt Spoons -- Falmouth Packet

(24)

908. Police Plea On Speed -- Northampton Herald & Post. 909. Police Probe 'Suspicious' Body in Cemetery -- PA headline

910. Police Say Man Who Swallowed $37,500 Gem Has Yielded Loot -- Chicago Tribune headline

911. Police Search Home 300 Times, Find Nothing -- Reuters headline 912. Police Seek Witnesses To Assault -- Richmond Borough Guardian 913. Police Sing For Animals -- Brighton & Hove Albion.

914. Police Spray Knife Man On Train -- Sydney Dally Telegraph.

915. Police Suspicious after Body Found in Graveyard -- Halifax (Canada) Chronicle-Herald headline

916. Police Target "Invisible" Cycle Riders -- Cornish Guardian

917. Police Want Extra Eyes To Catch Impaired Drivers -- North Bay Nugget (Ontario)

918. Police Work a Lot Safer Than in 1970 -- AP headline;

Two Cops Killed Attempting Arrest -- AP headline that appeared much later the same day

919. Police: Body Cavity Search Reveals Crack -- La Crosse (Wisc.) Tribune headline

920. Police: Man Killed Wife, Self, Set Fire -- Houston Chronicle headline 921. Political Apathy Growing, Poll Shows -- UPI Headline

922. Politician Says Too Busy to Cheat on His Wife -- Reuters headline 923. Poll Shows Voters Prefer Bush at Barbecue -- AP headline

924. Poop Scooper Finds Job Fun, Refreshing -- AP headline 925. Pope To Fly In Hellfire Helicopter -- D. Telegraph.

926. Portable Toilet Bombed Police Have Nothing To Go On -Newton Daily News

927. Postmen Taught How To Walk -- Daily Mail

928. Postmistress Is Sued By Killer For Missing FT -- Daily Telegraph 929. Potato, Dancing Raisins Cut a Deal -- AP headline

930. Potential Of Dublin As A "Solar Capital" Is Discussed 931. Poverty Lags In Mississippi Delta

932. Prehistoric Man Gets Lift In A Hearse -- Western Mail 933. Presidential Footwear on Display -- AP headline

934. Priest Duels With Dracula -- Mltcham & Morden Guardian. 935. Priest in Fatal Crash Improves -- Lakeland (Fla.) Ledger headline

936. Prosecution Paints O.J. As A Wife-Killer -- Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25

937. Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff

938. Prostitute Says Government Ruining Trade -- Reuters headline 939. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope

940. Prostitutes To Hold Open Day -- Irish Times 941. Protecting Thanet's Cuntryside -- Adscene - Thanet

942. Psychic Ferrets Take Over Couple's World -- Derby Evening Telegraph 943. Psychotic White Rhino Boards Freedom Flight

944. Public Swings In Favour Of The Prince-- The Times

(25)

946. Pusat Islam: Aliens Among Shi'ite Leaders 947. Putin Pardons Pope - Brisbane Courier Mail

948. Pygmy Caught In Mousetrap -- Northampton Chronicle & Echo 949. Python Savages Parrot -- Wales On Sunday

950. QEH Spending $1.2m To Help Curb Bowl Cancer -- The Advertiser 951. Quarter Of A Million Chinese Live On Water

952. Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

953. Race Cyclists Caught Speeding -- Reuters headline

954. Rats Con Woman, 78, Out Of £3000 Savings -- Greenwhich Mercury 955. Rattle To Lead Berlin Philharmonic -- AP headline

956. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

957. Real Godmother Becomes Fairy Godmother -- The Dally Observer (St John's, Antigua).

958. Recreational Use of Viagra Dangerous -- UPI headline

959. Rector With Crowbar Seeks To Lay Nun's Ghost -- Daily Graphic. 960. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

961. Report: Depression Causes Impotence

962. Report: U.S. Scientists Create 'Living Breasts'

963. Research: Beer Stops Cancer Damage -- UPI headline 964. Researcher Links Obesity, Food Portions -- AP headline 965. Researchers Locate Tomato Gene -- AP headline

966. Researchers Can See Thoughts 967. Revolt By Yard Men

968. Rhode Island Seeks Weightless Prison -- Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal 969. Rhode Island to Honor Mr. Potato Head -- AP headline

970. Ribena Offer To Blood Service 971. Right To Die Advocate Found Dead.

972. Rise Of 'Mutants' Leaves France A Divided Nation – Times

973. Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking down on Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing - as Though People Actually Want to Watch Olympians Skate -- San Francisco Chronicle headline

974. RJB To Spend £50m On Lifting Australian Stake - The Times 975. Robber Holds Up Albert's Hosiery

976. Robber Orders Starbucks Employee To Ground -- clickondetroit.com 977. Robber Sawed His Father In Half

978. Robbers Attack School in Pretoria -- AP headline

979. Rolling Stones Give Free Concert - No One Killed -- Reuters headline 980. Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself -- from the Chicago Rotary

Club journal Gyrator

981. RSPCA Fights Motorbikes For Hamsters -- Daily Telegraph 982. Russia's Economic Woes Outweigh The Universe -- Guardian 983. Russia's Statistics Boss Accused of Fraud

984. Russia Unsure of Where Fugitive Is -- AP headline 985. Russian Troops Tell Of Invisible Enemy -- Guardian. 986. 'Santa' Steals Painkiller From Drug Store -- AP headline

(26)

988. Substitute Teachers Seeking Respect -- AP headline

989. Scots Experts To Help Georgia's Rural Economy -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000

990. S. Africa Battles Invasion Of Alien Water-Snatchers -- Daily Yomiuri (Japan)

991. S. Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law

992. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 993. Saints Overrun Hapless Halifax -- Guardian.

994. Salesman Says He Left, 4 Large Rings In Malden Bathtub 995. Sand Found On Beach Shocker -- Hartlepool Mail

996. Santa Accused of Slapping Child -- Reuters 997. Santa Gives Jesus The Sack -- Guardian

998. Santa Rosa Man Denies He Commited Suicide In South San Francisco 999. Saudi Takes Four Wives in One Night to Spite His Ex -- AFP headline 1000. Sauerkraut Seeks New Image -- Reuters headline

1001. Save My Life And I'll Sue You, Warned Suicide Note -- Daily Telegraph 1002. Save Streams, Fish Head Warns -- Bainbridge (GA) Review

1003. Saving The Whale From Space -- BBC News Online

1004. Scared of Y2K? Head for a Nuclear Reactor -- Reuters headline 1005. Scent Foul Play In Death Of Man Found Bound And Hanged 1006. School Praised After Vandalism -- West Briton

1007. School Says Boy in Drag Can't Be Queen -- Reuters headline 1008. Science Confirms: Politicians Lie -- Reuters headline

1009. Scientists Find "Cure" For Sex-Change Fish -- Evening Standard (London)

1010. Scientists Grow Human Arms And Legs On Trees! - People & Places (Ghana)

1011. Scientists Hoping To Grow Their Own Livers -- Daily Record 1012. Scientists See Quakes In L.A. Future -- The Oregonian, January 28 1013. Scientists To Have Ford's Ear

1014. Scottish Scientists Plan Search For Laziness Gene -- Reuters headline 1015. Senate Passes Death Penalty Measure Provides For Electrocution For All

Persons Over 17

1016. Senators Maintain Their Hold On Devils -- Newark (NJ) Star Ledger 1017. Seven Foreigners, Seven Locals Up Each Other At Wotulu Memorial --

Inodnesioan Observer

1018. Severed Hand Saved By Peas -- The Sun

1019. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training 1020. Sex Scandal Vicar Seeks New Position

1021. Sex Up and Down after September 11 -- Reuters headline 1022. Shanghai Adult Toy Fair Hits the Spot -- Reuters headline 1023. Shark Dies Biting Man

1024. Sharks Gored In Bullring -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg) 1025. Sheep Answers Monk's Prayer -- Darlington & Stockton Times 1026. Shell Found on Beach -- (Brighton Argus, UK)

(27)

1028. Shooting Suspect Said Hot-Tempered -- AP headline 1029. Shops Put "In Peril By Flowers"

1030. Shot Man Mistaken For Feral Cat: Police 1031. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66

1032. Sick Skunks Overrun Massachusetts -- Lewiston (Me:) Sun Journal. 1033. Silent Bar Staff And Customers With Three Legs At Inn -- West Briton

(Cornwall).

1034. Silent Teamster Boss Gets Unusual Punishment, Lawyer

1035. Silicon Boys Have More Time to Look for Love -- AFP headline 1036. Six Take £8m Pot -- News Of The World

1037. Slave Sale Aids Charity -- Gloucester Echo

1038. Slimy Leeches Are Devoted Parents -- Reuters headline

1039. Slow Progress For Rotting Estate Victims -- Glossop (Derbyshire) Advertiser

1040. Small Town Celebrates "Toilet Fest" -- AP headline 1041. Smaller Families Recquire Less Food

1042. Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency 1043. Smokers Have Odd Brains

1044. Snake Throws Master Into Cell

1045. Snake Venom Slows Breast Tumor Growth -- UPI headline

1046. Sneak Attack By Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen --The Atlanta Journal 4/4/79 1047. Snow Storms May Be Precursor of Winter -- AP headline

1048. Snowman Accused Of Indecency - Daily Telegraph 1049. Snowman Quits Top Opera Job -- Times

1050. Some People Have Been Gormless Since 1746 -- Daily Telegraph 1051. Some Phone Psychics Provide Useless, Erroneous Information 1052. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction

1053. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says 1054. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again

1055. Spaniard Hits Girlfriend at Anti-Violence Rally 1056. Spaniards Study Inside of Ham

1057. Special Events Mark Domestic Violence Month -- Seattle Post-Intellgencer.

1058. Spiders Signed Up For Army 1059. Split Rears In Farmers' Movememt

1060. Spooked Elephants Riot At Suburban Mall 1061. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

1062. Squirrel Ransacks House Looking For Peanuts -- D Telegraph. 1063. Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery -- Reuters headline

1064. Squirrel Turns City Dark, Sets Grass Fire -- Ogden (Ut) Standard-Examiner.

1065. Squirrels Eating Tokyo -- High Desert Advocate (West Wendover, Nevada).

1066. St Malo: Largest Amount Of Cannabis Ever Seized In Joint Operation -- Jersey Evening Post

(28)

1068. Stadium Air Conditioning Fails - Fans Protest

1069. Staff Dig Deep For Children -- Gloucestershire Echo. 1070. Stampede For Compost

1071. State Will Poison Rivers So It Can Count Dead Fish

1072. Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25 -- Mary Ann Tebdo Republican Senator From Colorado Springs

1073. Steals Clock, Faces Time

1074. Stealth Fighter Crashes Into A Time Warp -- Irish Times.

1075. Steel-Eating Microbes Threaten To Devour Britain's Ports -- Independent On Sunday.

1076. Stephen King Impersonator Steals 5,000 Lobsters 1077. Sterilizations Solves Problems, For Pets, Owners 1078. Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan 1079. Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan

1080. Stock Market Succumbs to Reality -- AP headline 1081. Stolen Painting Found By Tree

1082. Stop Strimming Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post 1083. Straw's Pledge To Rape Victims -- Express

1084. Strawberry Charged Over Sex And Drugs -- Int. Herald Tribune, 1085. Strawberry Speaks Of Death Wish -- Int. Herald Tribune

1086. Stretches Of M62 Have "Vanished" -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner 1087. Strike Over, Twinkie Shortage Ends -- AP headline

1088. Stud Tires Out

1089. Students Compete for Pillow Fight Record -- AP headline 1090. Study Finds Broad Problems in Army

1091. Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995 1092. Study Links Menopause, Aging

1093. Study: Alcohol May Prevent Dementia -- AP headline

1094. Study: Ape Herpes Viruses May Be Transmissible to Humans -- Reuters headline

1095. Study: Depressed Women Live Longer -- AP headline 1096. Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected -- AP headline 1097. Study: Duct Tape Doesn't Seal Ducts -- AP headline 1098. Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage -- AP headline 1099. Study: Gay Clergy Disregarding Church Ban On Celibacy 1100. Study: Narcissists are Dangerous

1101. Study: Obesity Can Shorten Lifespan -- AP headline 1102. Successful Heads May Be Shared -- Daily Telegraph 1103. Sues Bride Of 4 Mouths

1104. Suit Says Hospital Mistook Constipation For Cancer

1105. Summer Treat: Ice Cream "Isn't Health Food" -- Reuters headline 1106. Superheroes Make Kids Eat Fruit and Vegetables -- Reuters headline 1107. Surgery For Duck Hurt By Anglers Left Hook -- Jersey Evening Post 1108. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -- The New

York Times, November 22

(29)

1110. Suspected Alien Boat Dodges Customs -- Brisbane Courier Mail. 1111. Suspected Bank Robber Leaves a Clue: Driver's License -- Houston

Chronicle headline

1112. Suspended MP Accused Of Telling A Hundred Lies -- The Guardian 1113. Swallowed Diamond Ring Shows Up as Evidence -- Reuters headline 1114. Swamp Thing Bedevils Police Station -- The Record (Hackensack New

Jersey)

1115. Swazi King, 2 Sons Poison Suspects

1116. Swedish Dentist Seizes Teeth in Payment Dispute 1117. Swedish Jet Hijacked By Bread Roll

1118. Swiss Hale Heroin Giveaway A Success -- Associated Press 1119. System Fails To Catch Hermaphrodite Cattle -- Irish Times 1120. "The Pill" Might Prevent Acne Too -- AP headline

1121. TABLETS Viagra blamed for 69 deaths -- Ceefax News Page 1122. Tarmac Close To Merger With Aggregate -- Sunday Times

1123. Tarzan's Loincloth Hid A Big Swinger -- Sunday Times (South Africa). 1124. Tax Break For Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post.

1125. Tax Mooted For Flatulent Cows -- Brisbane (Aust) Sunday Mail. 1126. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

1127. Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men -- The Sunday Oregonian, September 24

1128. Teen Girls Driving More Like Boys -- AP headline 1129. Tenant Failed To Give Notice Before Dying

1130. Tennessee Williams Brought To Life In A Unique Setting 1131. Tequila Helps Actress Take Her Clothes Off -- Reuters headline 1132. Termites Lay Siege To New Orleans -- Sunday Times (South Africa) 1133. Testicles On Sale -- The Nambian

1134. Texans Chip in to Rescue Stranded Chicken-Hypnotist -- Reuters headline 1135. Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders - The Miami

Herald

1136. Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son - The Arkansas Plainsman

1137. The Correct Version Declares God Ambidextrous 1138. The Mad Hatter Saves Alice From Knifeman

1139. The Queen Is A "Parrot" Says Paisley -- Daily Telegraph

1140. The Unknown Clouds Search for School Superintendent -- Louisville, Kentucky

1141. There Can Be No Excuse For Drinking While Under The Influence Of Alcohol -- Hull Daily Mail

1142. There May Be Diamonds in Planets -- AP headline 1143. They Came They Saw... Swindon --Western Daily Press 1144. Thief Nabbed Returning for Ass -- UPI headline

1145. Thieves Steal 8 Tons of Spa Mud -- AP headline

1146. Thomas the Tank Engine Discovered Driving Taxi -- Reuters headline 1147. Thousands See Green Man -- North Devon Journal.

(30)

1149. Three Wise Men Refused Visas By Saudi Arabia 1150. Thugs Eat Then Rob Proprietor

1151. Tigers Shoot Down Gunship -- Irish Tmes 1152. Time Machine Found In Brain

1153. Titanic Shipyard May Sack Workers -- AP headline

1154. Toad Stuck In Share Hole Despite High-Profile Signing -- Daily Telegraph

1155. Toads Stop Play In Top Cricket Pub

1156. Tomatoes Come In Big, Little, Medium Sizes -- The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30

1157. Tomorrow: Political Guru Ed Rollins At 9 AM

1158. Tony Blair Promises Parents The Right To Smack --Independent 1159. Too Much Homework is Bad for You, UK Academics Say -- Reuters

headline

1160. Top Evangelist Caught Red-Handed With Nanny-Goat – People & Places (Ghana)

1161. Top Surgeon Is To Head New Body In Medical Ethics -- Evening Standard

1162. Top Terror Fugitive Hid from Police on Nudist Beach -- AP headline 1163. Tortoises Held Hostage As Lobster War Turns Nasty -- Independent 1164. Town To Drop School Bus, When Overpass Is Ready

1165. Towns Must Spend Big To Fight Alien Plans -- Boston Globe 1166. Toxic Waste Tour Planned

1167. Traffic Dead Rise Slowly

1168. Traffic Stop May Check Alien Status -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 1169. Tragedy Of Mother Eaten By Maggots -- Mirror.

1170. Train Driver Temporarily Blinded by Exploding Pigeon -- PA headline 1171. Transsexuals Benefits Cut Off -- Highbury & Islington Express.

1172. Trapeze Artist Attacks Rival with Castration Tongs -- Reuters

1173. Trapped Dragons Are Blamed For Problems At New Hong Kong Airport -- Weekly Telegraph

1174. Trojan Is New EU Secretary-General -- Irish Times

1175. Trout Being Tempted By Extra-Terrestrials - Dudley Chronicle 1176. Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast

1177. Turkey Blamed For Appaling Driving

1178. Turkey Votes for Christmas -- Financial Times

1179. Tv Reporters Feel Pressure On Cha-Cha -- Philippine Dally Inquirer. 1180. TV Sets To Book Hols

1181. Twinkles Shortage Looms -- New York Dally News.

1182. Two Cars Were Reported Stolen By The Groveton Police Yesterday. 1183. Two Convicts Evade Noose Jury Hung

1184. Two Guns Beats Four Aces: Armed Robbers Hit Paris Poker Tournament -- AFP headline

1185. Two One-Legged Inmates Skip Jail -- Reuters headline

References

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