Funny newspaper headlines
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Eye Drops off Shelf
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New
Vaccine May Contain Rabies
College Opens Doors to Hearing
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Include your Children When Baking Cookies
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
The following are real strange headlines
from various newspapers.
This document layout is copyright 1997-2003 Steven Ward (me).
Unlike other headline lists on the web, this list is updated on a monthly basis and where possible I have listed the paper where the headline origniated.
Last modified: Thursday, 16-Sep-2004 14:10:47 BST
Please click on the letter below to view headlines beginning with it.
[ All items ] [ A ] [ B ] [ C ] [ D ] [ E ] [ F ] [ G ] [ H ] [ I ] [ J ] [ K ] [ L ] [ M ] [ N ] [ O ] [ P ] [ Q ] [ R ] [ S ] [ T ] [ U ] [ V ] [ W ] [ X ] [ Y ] [ Z ]
1. $200 Fine Risk For Mobile Car Use -- Sunday Mail
2. £20 To Fight Crime In England And Wales -- Local Government First (LGA Newsletter}
3. £3 To Drive Into City -- Evening Standard
4. 02 Sisters Reunited After 18 Years In Checkout Counter 5. 1.6 Million Cherokees Are Recalled -- L.A Times 6. 10 Revolting Officers Executed
7. 12 On Their Way To Cruise Among Dead In Plane Crash 8. 17 Aliens Held
9. 18 Hurt In Cheese Roll
10. 18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests - The Times 11. 20-Year Friendship Ends At Altar
12. 29 Hurt As Students Demand Right To Cheat 13. 29 Nations Approve Bribery Ban
14. 4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves
15. 40 Men Escape Watery Graves When Vessel Flounders In Ale 16. 500-Year-Old Child Found -- The Australian.
17. 500 Elves Loose
18. 7 Reasons Why Teacher's Find Us Top Class -- T4Teachers advertisment 19. A Million ET's Get New Identity Deal
20. Ability To Swim May Save Children From Drowning 21. Abstention From Sex Does Not Make One Stupid - Nurse 22. Accident Made Salesman "Too Nice" For Job - Daily Telegraph
23. Accordionists Seek Some Respect -- AP headline This appeared on the same day as:
24. ACT Women's Conference Pursues Broad Agenda -- Our Voice - PSU Group Report
25. Acupuncture May Up Chance of Test-Tube Pregnancy -- Reuters headline 26. Admits Shooting Husband From Stand,During Trial
27. Afrikaaners Find God In London - Sundy Independent (South Africa) 28. After 100 Years, Coward Celebration -- AP headline
29. Air Head Fired -- Chicago Sun-Times 30. Airborne Deer Kills Man - New York Times
31. Airline Travel Safer Despite More Accidents - Report -- Reuters headline 32. Airport Plea For Visitors To Stay Away - Scotsman
34. Aladdin's Cave Wins Village Shop Award 35. Alaska Warned: Don't Become Florida
36. Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking -- The Hartford Courant, November 18 37. Alien Gangs Prey On UK -- Daily Mirror
38. Alien Hedgehogs Spread Terror In The Hebrides-- The Times 39. Alien In Sydney Pines For Port -- Adelaide Advertiser.
40. Alien Unit Probe May Lead To Further Action -- Johannesburg Star
41. Aliens Are In Control Of Blair, Say Serb Psychics -- Independent On Sunday. 42. Aliens Blamed For Woes Of Society
43. Aliens Crammed Into Toilet 44. Aliens Eat Swamp
45. Aliens Found At Pentagon -- Sutton On Sunday (Sutton Coldfield).
46. Aliens On "Student" Visas Slip Under Net - Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 47. Aliens On Jakarta Blacklist
48. Aliens To Fill Future Jobs Need Say Experts -- Irish Independent 49. All-Stars Turn On Sparse Crowd
50. American Ships Head To Lybia
51. Americans Driven To Suicide By Fear Of Death -- Daily Telegraph 52. Amnesia Costs Accountant 11 Years
53. Analysis: Jobs End Welfare
54. Ancient Blonde Corpses Raise Questions
55. Ancient Chinese Tradition Develops -- AP headline
56. Ancient King To Watch Over Bike Network -- Southampton Daily Echo 57. Angel's Future Now 'Secure' -- The Licencee.
58. Angels On Cloud Nine After Award -- The Licencee.
59. Animal 'Fart Tax' Puts Wind up New Zealand Farmers -- AFP headline 60. Animals Take Over Village That Changed Hands Twice - Irish Times 61. Animals Turn To Teaching
62. Antibacterial Ingredient in Shampoo May Prevent HIV -- Reuters headline 63. Antique Stripper To Display Wares At Store
64. Ants Show BT How To Control Computers 65. Aquarium Lands Bomber -- Bristol Evening Post 66. Arafat Swears In Cabinet
67. Archangels To Guard Vatican In Cyberspace
68. Armageddon Ahead, Please Fasten Your Bible Belt -- Times (London) 69. Armageddon Could Threaten United's Promotion Push
70. Army Felled By Sheep -- Express
71. Army Social Worker Punched His Boss At Conference On Anger -- Irish Times 72. Around The World Rhinos Crash Back To Earth -- Guardian.
73. Arson Blamed on Fires at Maryland Arts Center -- Washington Post 74. Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire
75. Artificial Intelligence Like Real Thing
76. Asbestos Man In Compensation Bid -- Hounslow Guardian 77. Asbestos Suit Pressed
80. Attack By ET Proves Costly 81. Attack By Goat Ends In Car Ban
82. Attack On Rat Mistaken For Chinese -- Daily Post 83. Auditor Confronts Martian - Irish Times
84. Autos Killing 110 A Day Let's Resolve To Do Better 85. Average Movie Cost Reaches $53.4M
86. Axe For Media School's Head -- Johannesburg, Star.
87. "Bibles Sold To The Dead" Claim -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus. 88. "Boom Box" Explodes, One Dead -- Reuters headline
89. Babies Used To Sneak Drugs Into Prison
90. Baboon Becomes A Landlady -- The Parrot (Ghana) 91. Baboon Tossers Are Welcome -- Grantham Journal 92. Baby Boomers Not Planning to Retire
93. Bachelors Prefer Beauty To Brains In Their Wives 94. Bacteria Go Bald And Lose Their Grip
95. Bacteria May Make Bullet Proof Vests
96. Bad Driving Causes Most Car Crashes -- London Evening Standard 97. Bad Food Makes A Poor Picnic.
98. Baker Stabbed Woman 99 Times In Self-Defence - Irish Times 99. Ban On Soliciting Dead In Trotwood
100. Banana Forced Officer To Have Sex 101. Banana On Sodomy Charges - Guardian
102. Bananas And Oranges Linked To Violent Crime -- Sunday Telegraph 103. Bananas Get Animated
104. Bangkok Launches Anti-Butt Campaign -- Arab News (Jeddah) 105. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
106. Bankrupt Association Termed In Poor Shape --Lawrence (Ka) Journal-World 7/12/77
107. Baptists Halt Talks With Catholics -- AP headline 108. Baywatch Star Objects To Fake Sex
109. BBC Raises Dead To Give Comedy New Life -- Times. 110. Bearded Lady Sues Dwarf -- UPI headline
111. Beatrix Potter Bolied Squirrels -- Sunday Times 112. Beavers Fly Flag In Uganda
113. Belgian Man Saves Fish with Kiss of Life -- Reuters headline 114. Bible Belt Leads U.S. in Divorces -- AP headline
115. Bible Church's Focus Is The Bible -- Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
116. Bible Proofreaders Sweat the Small Stuff -- AP headline 117. Big Black Hole Found In The Sky
118. Bike Cop Finds Man With Crack -- Mt. Airy News in Mt. Airy, NC 119. Bird Bath Takes Flight -- Bridlington (Humberside) Free Press. 120. Bird Crime Up -- Dally Telegraph.
121. Bishop Attacks Childless Couples -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner. 122. Biting Nails Can Be Sign Of Tenseness In A Person -- The Daily Gazette
123. Black-Belt Prosecutor Leg-Locks Defendant -- Reuters Headline 124. Blind Bishop Appointed To See
125. Blind Man Bites Guide Dog In Drunken Rage - Daily Telegraph 126. Blind Rioters Apprehended In Zambia
127. Blind Users Stymied By New Internet Graphics
128. Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years 129. Blue Skies Unless Its Cloudy --San Francisco Chronicle 5/29/??
130. Body Found On Boat Seized By Bailiffs And Due To Be Auctioned -- Isle Of Wight County Press
131. Body Of Unarmed Man Slain By Police Leaving For Africa -- Associated Press.
132. Body Wants New Blood - Chingford Guardian
133. Bold Plan To Put Capetown On Map - Sunday Times Business News (Johannesburg)
134. Bomb Hit By Library
135. Bookbinder Wants His Ashes Kept in Special Book on Library Shelf -- PA headline
136. Boots Fined For Selling Underage Girl Dracula 137. Boy Cooks Must Eat Own Vitals
138. Boy Trapped Inside His Own Body Gets £3.3m -- Wolverhampton Express & Star.
139. Boy Who Drowned Couldn't Swim -- The Province Vancouver, BC, Canada, 18th Or 19th September 2000
140. Brain Bank Seeks More Deposits -- Reuters headline
141. Bridge Sets 60 Mph Limit For Pedestrians -- Dundee Courier 142. Bring Back The Bongs, Say Mps -- Metro.
143. Britain's Radioactive Lobsters Upset Norway - Independent
144. Britain Inches Grudgingly Towards Metric System -- Reuters headline 145. Britain To Free Children From Soccer Slavery - The Times
146. British Ducks Have Regional Accents, Researchers Say -- AFP headline 147. British Gay Activists Scale Palace
148. British Helicopters Could Shoot Themselves Down -- AFP headline 149. British Left Waffles On Falkland Islands -- Daily Telegraph
150. British MPs to Drink Ethically Produced Coffee 151. British Push Bottles Up Germans
152. British Soldiers Sue over Stress in Battle -- Reuters headline 153. British Union Finds Dwarfs In Short Supply
154. Briton Gored By Bull In Intensive Care - Daily Telegraph 155. Brothel Found at Car Repair Shop -- AP headline
156. Buddhist Monk Hacks Off Errant Abbots Head With Kitchen Knife 157. Bug Spawns 100 Year Old Babies -- Metro (London)
158. Bulge In Trousers Was Ecstasy
159. Bull's Sperm Comes Under The Hammer 160. Bull Swallows Autopsy Report
162. Butter Said as Deadly as Cigarettes -- AP headline
163. Butts Slams Beer Ads Featuring Animal Sex -- UPI headline 164. C.I.A. Drafts Covert Plan to Topple Saddam
165. Cabbage Diced In Social Unrest - The Austrailian 166. Cabbage Privatised - Guardian
167. Cabbage Startles Solicitors -- Meridian News
168. California Governor Makes Stand on Dirty Toilets -- Reuters headline 169. California Hopes For An Alien Invasion To Solve Jobs Crisis - Times
Interface Supplement
170. California Seeks 13,000 Sex Offenders 171. California Wildlife Destroys Over 40 Homes
172. Canada Could Face Sperm Shortage -- Canadian Press headline 173. Canadian Prime Minister Doesn't Think Bush Is 'a Moron' -- Reuters
headline
174. Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Mann
175. Car Lost In Untended Garden - Daily Telegraph 176. Cardigan Keeps Hampshire Cosy - Guardian
177. Caribbean Bananas Are Ethical Bananas --UK Minister 178. Caribbean Islands Drift To Left
179. Carter Plans Swell Deficit 180. Carter Ticks Off Black Help
181. Cash Boost By Elderly Satan -- Dudley Express & Star. 182. Cash Boost For Truancy -- Hounslow Guardian
183. Cash Compost Means That Trees Can Grow On Money -- The Times 184. Cash Plea To Help Dyslexic Cildren -- South Wales Evening Post 185. Cat Tossing Latest Fad On Israeli Highways
186. Cats To Replace Husbands -- Times 187. Cattleman Grilled by Oprah's Lawyers 188. Cause Of Aids Found - Scientists
189. Cave Plan Arouses Stalactite Concern -- Irish Times. 190. Celibacy Could Make Priests Extinct -- Dally Record. 191. Cement Supplies Seen As Adequate
192. Cemetery Faces Grave Problems Over Space -- Basingstoke Observer 193. Central Bank Aims To Replace The Mattress -- Guardian
194. Chaos As Church Split Widens -- Nairobi Nation.
195. Chaos As Dead Rat Makes A Break For It - Manchester Evening News 196. Chaos Warning As The Sun Explodes -- Metro (London)
197. Charges Filed in Fla. Electrocution -- AP headline
198. Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years 199. Chef Finds New Game as Rat Exterminator -- Reuters headline
200. Chef Gets Life for Cooking Wife -- Reuters headline 201. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy 202. Cher Immortalized in Plastic -- AP headline 203. Chicken Banned From Crossing The Road
206. Child Abuse Service Gains Corporate Sponsorship -- The Adelaide Advertiser.
207. Childminders Get Right To Smack -- Daily Telegraph 208. Children's Stool Great For Use In Garden
209. Children Can Glow Safely -- Luton News
210. China Drag Queens Have Officials On Their Knees
211. Chinchilla Dirige El Museo Arqueologico Nacional -- (Chinchilla Is Manager Of The National Archaeological Museum) El Pais (Spain).
212. Chinese Apeman Dated
213. Chocolate Biscuit Bites Man In Midnight Snack Attack -- Shetland Times 214. Chocolates, Kissing Could Help Fight Cavities -- AFP headline
215. Chopper Search For Man In Underpants -- Luton News 216. Chou Remains Cremated
217. Christ's Plans Under Fire From Wandsworth -- Richmond & Twickenham Times.
218. Christ Resigns As Police Chief
219. Christian Cars Stoned in Nazareth -- AP headline 220. Christmas Trees Don't Grow On Trees
221. Church Goes Missing
222. Church Homes Shut For Employing Christians
223. Church In Northwick Talks -- Berrows Worcester Journal. 224. Church Members Given Right To Die -- Guardian
225. Church Plan Upsets Brothel -- Adelaide Advertiser
226. Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless -- Straits Times (Singapore) 227. City May Impose Mandatory Time, For Prostitution
228. City Pact Fight Boils
229. City Workers Rarely Fired for Doing a Bad Job -- Houston Chronicle headline
230. Cliches, to Be Honest with You, Drive Us Mad -- Reuters headline 231. Clinton Claims Credit for Y2K Quash -- AP headline
232. Clinton Demands Children's Drug Dosages
233. Clinton Places Dickey In Gore's Hands - Bangor Maine News
234. Clinton Pledges Restraint In Use Of Nuclear Weapons -- Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
235. Clinton Stiff On Withdrawal - The Bosnia Bugle
236. Cloning Warning As Japanese Grow Frog Eyes In Laboratory -- Daily Mail
237. Cocaine Use Hits New High -- Brentwood Yellow Advertiser 238. Cold Is No Good For Blubs -- Richmond Borough Guardian 239. Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
240. Collapsed Bridge in China Faulty -- AP headline 241. Collegians Are Turning To Vegatables
242. Columnist Gets Urologist In Trouble With His Peers
243. Community Bands Together to Help Burn Victim's Family -- Bay City (Mich.) Times headline
245. Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly 246. Complaints About NHL Referees Growing Ugly 247. Compromise on Ten Commandments -- AP headline 248. Condom Firm Streches Product Line
249. Condon's Pledge To Murder Witnesses - Daily Mail 250. Confidence Sinks in September -- UPI headline
251. Congressmen Try To Revive Suit -- International Herald Tribune. 252. Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
253. Constipation Is Not the Root of All Evil After All -- Reuters headline 254. Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test
255. Cops Demanding Bribes From Aliens -- Johannesburg Star. 256. Cops Halt Doughnut Shop Robbery
257. Cops Quiz Victim In Fatal Shooting
258. Cops: Man Steals Car to Get to [Car] Theft Hearing -- Jersey City Journal headline
259. Coroner In Call To Put A Stop To Drink-All-You-Can-Nights After Death -- Sheffield Star
260. Cost of Being Poor Rising -- Denver Post headline
261. Council Informs Woman Who Died Two Years Ago She Is Dead -- Irish Times
262. Council Not Liable Over Fatally Locked Widows -- The Times 263. Council Staff Could Be Axed -- Hounslow Guardian
264. County Bars Further Erections
265. County Officials Seek Public Input On Adult Stores - Hunstville (Texas) Item
266. County Officials To Talk Rubbish
267. Couple Names Baby After Web Site -- AP headline 268. Couple Slain: Police Suspect Homicide
269. Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -- Journal of Commerce, April 20
270. Court Would Not Accept God Paid For TV Licence -- Somerset Standard 271. Cow Attacks School Cook -- Halifax Evening Courier
272. Cow Disarms Soldier, Another Kills Witch
273. Cow in Police Custody Linked to Headless Chicken Case -- Lansing (Mich.) State Journal headline
274. Cow Thefts Blamed on Low-Carb Craze -- Tallahassee Democrat headline 275. Cowboy Warning In Tornado-Hit Town -- Ceefax (BBC Teletext Service) 276. Crashed Jet May Have Flown Too Low -- AP headline
277. Crazed Elephant Found In Sea
278. Creepy, Crawly Creatures Invade DC -- AP headline
279. Crematorium Plans Put On Back Burner -- Selkirk Advertiser 280. Cretin Streaking Toward National Record -- Minneapolis (Mn) Star
Tribune.
281. Crime Rise Blamed On Lack Of Police -- ITV Teletext Service 282. Crook Joins Barclaycard UK -- Financial Times
284. Cuba Tries Short Cut To Tailor Economy-- The Times 285. Curious George Goes High-tech -- AP headline
286. Cuts Could Hurt Animals -- The West Briton
287. 'Dead' woman wins pension apology - BBC News website 288. Damp Patches Discovered On Sun
289. Danish Pastor Who Refused to Believe in God Suspended -- AFP headline 290. Dead-Beats Contribute to Poverty -- AP headline
291. Dead Dictator Wanted as President -- Reuters headline 292. Dead Dogs Explode -- Bakersfield Californian
293. Dead Golfer Plays His Best Round -- Sun 294. Dead Man Accuses President -- Guardian.
295. Dead Man Catches 23lb Carp -- News 0f The World 296. Dead Man Found In Cemetery
297. Dead Man Gets Job Back 298. Dead Man Remains Dead
299. Dead Man Wins His Unfair Sacking Battle -- Daily Mail This headline followed:
300. Dead Youth Had Serious Medical Condition - The Dominion (New Zealand)
301. Deadly Centipede Chases Postman - Daily Telegraph 302. Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
303. Deaf Magician Disqualified For Hearing -- D. Telegraph. 304. Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
305. Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
306. Dealers Will Hear Car Talk Friday At Noon 307. Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation 308. Death Ruled Unavoidable - Seattle Times 309. Deer Congress To Be Held In Cork 310. Deer Kill 130,000
311. Deer Kill 17,000
312. Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence.
313. Delivering "Extra Strong" Support For The Three Legged -- The Stage 314. Detective Loses Pyjamas In Chase -- Metro
315. Devil's Head Found In Back Seat - The Advertiser (South Austrailia) 316. Devil Could Play Host To The Second Coming Of The Tiger -- Brisbane
Courier Mail.
317. Devil May Postpone Release Of Calicivirus 318. Diaper Market Bottoms Out
319. Did Parrots Coexist With Dinosaurs? -- AP headline 320. Diet Of Premature Babies "Affects IQ" -- Guardian
321. Dinosaurs Struggle For Survival - Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal
322. Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -- The New York Times, March 10
323. Discoveries: Older Blacks Have Edge In Longevity -- The Chicago Tribune, March 5
325. Disney Stories Are Unfair On Mad People Says Doctor -- Evening Standard
326. Divine Intervention by Taxi Firm -- Border TV Regional Ceefax 313. Full story click Here
327. Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil -- Times
328. Divorce Leaves Man Blind - Sunday Times (South Africa) 329. Doctor Raps "Negligence" -- Daily Mirror
330. Doctor Testifies In Horse Suit
331. Does Sex Makes Women Sprinters Faster?? -- Reuters headline 332. Dog's Eye Saved By Pig Intestine -- Times.
333. Dog Accused Of Racism -- D. Telegraph
334. Dog Dirt In Park - Group Leaders Step In -- Congleton Guardian 335. Dog In Bed, Asks Divorce
336. Doggie Perfume Sets Tails Wagging -- Reuters headline 337. Dogs Are Being Taught To Do Housework For The Disabled 338. Dolphins, Whales, Seals Do Research -- AP headline
339. Double-Hand Transplant Patient Applauds Operation -- Reuters headline 340. Doughnut Trail Leads Cops to Thief -- Reuters headline
341. Down Under Love for Princess Anne's Daughter -- Reuters headline 342. Downside to Fewer Violent Deaths: Transplant Organ Shortage Grows --
New York Times headline
343. Dr. Ruth To Talk About Sex With Newspaper Editors
344. Dragons Help Fund Cure For Diabetes -- North Bay (Ontario) Nugget. 345. Dragons Slay Galaxy -- Lewiston (Maine) Sun-Journal.
346. Drive To Ban Horse Whipping Mushrooms
347. Driver Shocked As Sheep Emerges From Pothole -- Western Mail 348. Drug Abuse "Can Be Beaten By Joint Effort"
349. Drug Dealers Dealt Heavy Blow Say Police 350. Drug Squad Nabs Flying Carpets -- Independent. 351. Drugs Fine For Businessman
352. Drugs Giant Gets Shot In Arm -- Western Dally Press. 353. Drunk Ex-US Marine Hits Corpse -- Irish Times 354. Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
355. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 In '84
356. Duck Meat Pie Kills Three Colombian Nuns -- Infobeat 357. Ducks Banned From Duck Pond
358. DUI Coordinator Resigns After Being Charged With DUI -- AP headline 359. Dumped Fish Remains Upset -- Wellington (NZ) Evening Post
360. Dutch to Extend Free Heroin Hand-Outs to Addicts -- Reuters headline 361. Dutch Undertakers Hire Clown to Lighten the Mood -- PA headline 362. Dyke Calls Up Daleks To Take On Hollywood -- Sunday Times 363. E.T.'s Wife Dragged To Court -- Weekly Newswatch (Ghana) 364. Eagle Found In Man's Sink
365. Earth Summit "Offers no help for East Kent" -- East Kent Mercury 366. Economist Uses Theory To Explain Economy -- Collinsville
367. Ecstasy Found In Mans Pants -- Eastern Evening News 368. El Nino Blamed for Rise in Diarrhea in Peru
369. Elf Bribed To Get Plant -- Nairobi Nation
370. Elf Condoms Stolen -- Wolverhampton Express & Star 371. Elf To Sell Major North Sea Assets -- BBC Ceefax. 372. Eloping Lover, 92, In Court - The Times
373. Elves Laid Off as Santa Feels Pinch -- AP headline 374. Emotional Trauma May Actually Reduce Brain Size
375. End Of Cold War Does Little To Reduce Trench Coat Sales
376. Energy Executives Urge Some Gas-Emission Limits on Bush -- New York Times headline
377. Enfant Terrible Sees a Message in Underpants 378. Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
379. English Solicitors Hope To Inspire Ugandan Ethics -- Law Society Gazette
380. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax 381. Enraged Cow Injures House
382. ET Guilty Of Attempted Murder -- The Star And SA Times International 383. EU Minister Hunts Rubber Duck to Near Extinction. -- The Times 384. EU Must Unite On Drugs
385. EU Official Hunts Rubber Duck To Near Extinction -- Times 386. EU Plans £70m Tower Of Babel -- Sunday Times
387. Eunuchs Strut Their Stuff on Indian Catwalk -- AFP headline 388. Euro MP Due To Visit Pluto - Bristol Evening Post
389. Everyday People Say They Prefer Ethics in Government -- East Brunswick (N.J.) Home News Tribune headline
390. Evil Spirits Banned From Coffee Bar -- Daily Telegraph 391. Evil Spirits Clash With Holy Ghost
392. Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom -- AP headline
393. Ex-Head Tells Of Elf's Work As Paris Agent --Int. Herald Tribune 394. Expert Has Brains Of BSE Chicken
395. Expert: Ignorance May Worsen Situation -- UPI headline 396. Experts Bury British Coal - Guardian
397. Explosion Of Professors At Universities - Sunday Times 398. Exposing the Truth: Defendant Moons Jury -- AP headline 399. Eye Drops Off Shelf
400. "Flying Rats" Have Bank In Flap -- Irish News.
401. Face Transplants No Longer Science Fiction -- Reuters headline 402. Fairies From Outer Space Go Missing On Train To Sunderland --
Sunderland Echo
403. Fairy Returned Safe And Well -- Middlesborough Evening Gazette. 404. Fairy Tourists Spark Warning To Children -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus 405. Fake Condoms Kill Adam And Eve In China
409. Family Issues Ultimatum Over Crater -- Yorkshire Regional Ceefax 410. Family Of 17 Defects From North Korea
411. Farm Worker Axed Friends to Death, Court Told -- PA headline 412. Farmer Bill Dies In House
413. Farmer Bitten Splitting Dogs 414. Fatal Mudslide Blamed On Hill
415. Faulty Parts Bring The World To A Halt
416. Fayed's Chopper Drives Us Crazy -- Ealing & Acton Gazette 417. Fears Over Singing Lollipop -- Johannesburg Times
418. Feds Step Up Laundering Crackdown -- AP headline
419. Fence Not Keeping Deer From Waltzing -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 420. Ferries Must Stay Afloat In Worst Of Storms, Say Safety Engineers 421. Few Britons Feel Death Had Lasting Effect On Them -- Johannesburg Star 422. Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary -- AFP headline 423. Final Funerals In Arkansas -- Daily Telegraph
424. Fine Young Man Convicted Of Misdemeanor
425. Fish Around On New Web Sites -- Watford Observer.
426. Fish Lurk In Streams -- Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
427. Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation At High School 428. Fleeing Aliens Denied Entry Into Tanzania
429. Floods Only Bring More Tears
430. Florida May Need Disabled Voter Machines -- AP headline 431. Flowers To Ease Famine -- Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph 432. Fly Genes Mixed into Chicken Soup -- UPI headline 433. Flying Bishop Pursued -- Guardian
434. Flying Goats Spark Alarm
435. Flying Rabbis Try To Ward Off Iraqi Attack -- Daily Telegraph 436. Food Is Basic To Student Diet --Bridgeport (Cn) Post 1/18/78 437. Foot Heads Arms Body -- Daily Mirror
438. For Valentine's Day, Try to Plan Your Spontaneity -- Indianapolis Star headline
439. Former Manager "Growled Like A Dog" When He Bit Man's Ear -- Irish Times
440. Former Python To Open Giraffe House -- The News (Portsmouth) 441. Fossil Scientists Track Down Oldest Footprints In The World 442. Fox Offers Mexicans An End To Monologue - Financial Times 443. Free Advice: Bundle Up When Out In The Cold -- Lexington
Herald-Leader, January 26
444. Free Speech For Aliens
445. French Minister 'Condoned Police Shooting Of Aliens' - Guardian
446. French Police Suspect Nudist Site Has Something to Hide -- AFP headline 447. Frequent Handshaking May Be Hazardous to Candidates -- AFP headline 448. Friends Trade Tattered Card for 49 Years -- AP headline
450. Frozen Semen Talks -- from an Australian paper; an article on a visit by the Victorian Artificial Breeders Co-op
451. Frying Squirrel Blamed for Sunday Power Outage -- Muskegon (Mich.) Chronicle headline
452. FT Not To Blame For Journalists' Suffering -- Independent 453. Fuchsia Talks -- Bristol Evening Post
454. Fund Set Up For Beating Victim's Kin 455. Fur Flies In Cat Kitty -- Evening News?
456. Future Bright for Super Stainless Steel -- AFP headline 457. "Goofy" Confesses To 140 Murders -- Irish Times. 458. "Gunproof" Chief Shot -- South China Morning Post 459. Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants
460. Gators To Face Seminoles With Peters Out - The Tallahassee Bugle 461. Gays in Roanoke Recover After Slaying -- AP headline
462. Geckos Reveal Creativity, Expertise -- The Nambian 463. General Eisenhower Flies Back To Front
464. General Motors: Air Bag Failure Not a Concern -- AP headline 465. Genetic Engineering Splits Scientists
466. Gentler War Promised in Colombia -- AP headline 467. German Airbag Theft Exploding -- Reuters headline
468. German Army Is Told To Let Women Fight -- Int. Herald Tribune 469. German Driver Beaten for Observing Speed Limit -- Reuters headline 470. German Magnetic Train Moves Forward
471. German Soldiers Fear The Arrival Of Women -- Daily Telegraph 472. Ghosts In $1M Fraud -- Melbourne Herald-Sun
473. Ghosts Take Derby -- Lynn News 474. Ghoul Drinks Blood On Bus
475. Giant Snail Shuts Down Tassie Port -- Townsville (Queensland) Austrilia 476. Giant Snails Get Set To Take Over -- Halifax Evening Courier.
477. Giant Tea Bag Kept Families Up All Night! -- Oxford Journal. 478. Giant Tea Bags Protest
479. Giant Waves down Queen Mary’s funnel -- Guardian, 1950s 480. Giantkillers Stretch Town To The Limit
481. Ginger Cat Found in Mousehole Area -- Unknown Cornish Paper 482. Girl, 14, Saved By Dog's Eyes -- Daily Post
483. Gnome Sparks Srike -- The Weekend Australian 484. God Commissions £10 Theme Park -- Building Design
485. God Gets A Parking Caution: "No Exceptions" Say Police -- York & District Advertiser
486. God Holds Up Traffic
487. God Is 'More Important' The Second Time Around -- D. Telegraph 488. God Sends A Sign To The Heathen In The Chevy -- Independent. 489. God Throws Dice Into Black Hole
493. Gore Helps Kids Learn Gibberish -- AP headline 494. Gore Stands Behind Clinton
495. Gorillas Of Rwanda Lecture At Museum Of Natural History 496. Gothic Secret Of New York's Invisible Nuns
497. Government's Attack On Greys Premature -- Victoria (Bc) Times Colonial 498. Governor's Penis Busy - [Should Be -Pen Is -] The New Haven
Connecticut Register
499. Governor Chiles Offers Rare Opportunity To Goose Hunters - The Tallahassee Democrat
500. Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
501. Gravy Train Slows Down At Morgue -- San Francisco Examiner 502. Great Wall Getting Less Great -- Reuters headline
503. Great White Shark Battered To Death By Holidaymakers -- The Times 504. Greece Declares War on Bad Cheese -- AP headline
505. Greek Bars Close Early In Protest At Early Closure
506. Green Man Causes Jams -- Walthamstow (London) Guardian 507. Groin Kick Led To 7-Day Erection -- Examiner (Cork - Ireland) 508. Grover Man Draws Prison Term, Fine For Sex Acts
509. Guinea-Pig Judge Quits
510. Gunman Shot By 999 Cops -- Daily Mirror 511. Gynecologist, Friar In Wine Deal
512. Haddock Bids For NFU Leadership -- Western Morning News
513. Haddock Leads The Race For Top Farmers' Job -- Western Daily Press 514. Hairdo Kills Mum - Daily Mirror
515. Hairdresser "On Another Planet" -- Southampton Daily Echo
516. Half-Blind Swede Loses Battle for Half-Price TV -- Reuters headline 517. Half Of Scottish Farms In The Red -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000. Also in
the same paper
518. Half Of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study For Graduation 519. Half Women Living In Fear -- Daily Record
520. Half-Million Italian Women Seen On Pill
521. Hamiltons To Be Shot Into Space -- Midweek Visitor (Southport) 522. Happiness Cannot Be Bought but it Lengthens Life
523. Harrowing, Hungry Voyage For 22 Aliens -- New York Daily News 524. Head In Pot Lands Man In Can -- Rockland (NY) Journal News
525. Head of Anti-Violence Group Arrested for Hitting Referee -- AP headline 526. Heads Fly To Funeral
527. Heads In Short Supply
528. Heads Thrown Out Of Meeting -- Woolwich & Plumstead News Shopper 529. Headless Chickens Roam The Commons -- Daily Express
530. Health Officials Were Given Hip Warning In 1995 -- The Times 531. Heart Donor Recovers -- Irish Independant
532. Heaven Is Giving Up Smoking, Says Pope -- Daily Mail.
533. Henman Sees Balls As Key To His Success -- Evening Standard 534. Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity, To Goose Hunters
536. Higher Costs Explain Why U.S. is Cheaper than U.K. -- Reuters headline 537. Hitler Hits Tourists -- - Wolverhampton Express & Star
538. Hitler Travelled For Years After Death -- Melbourne Age. 539. Hitler, Nazi Papers Found In Attic
540. Hobgoblins Have A Wardrobe Problem -- Cornishman 541. Holy Russia Quashes Alien Worship -- Independent 542. Home Secretary To Act On Video Nasties
543. Honey, Let's Dye the Dog Red and Green for Christmas -- AFP headline 544. Hooked on Internet? Help Is a Just a Click Away -- Reuters headline 545. Hooters Off-Limits to Coast Guard
546. Hopes Soar For First Supersonic Pumpkin Flight - The Times 547. Hornets Will Accent Throwing Game In '81
548. Horse Goes Back In Time For New Look -- The Licensee. 549. Hospital Ban On Babies -- Newark Advertiser
550. Hospital Plans Hinge On Roads -- Oxford Times. 551. Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
552. Hostage-Taker Kills Self; Police Shoot Each Other 553. Hotel Burns.Two Hundred Guests Escape Half Glad
554. Hotline To God Great Success -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus. 555. House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate
556. How Many Condoms Is Enough?
557. How Sardines Saved Stranded Potholers -- Daily Mail. 558. How to Drink and Still Stay Sober -- Reuters headline
559. How We Feel About Ourselves Is The Core Of Self-Esteem, Says Author Louise Har -- Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
560. Human Version of Fly Gene Found
561. Humpty Dumpty Wins Award For Balance
562. Hundreds Hurt During Annual Stone-throwing Festival -- PA news headline
563. Hungry Body Ate Fasting Buddhist Alive -- The Times 564. Hunt For Doorstep Attacker -- Halifax Evening Courier 565. Hunt For Killer Toxic Lard -- Homg Kong Standard 566. Husband Bites Wife's 'Thing' - The Monitor (Uganda)
567. Husband Put Rat Poison In Wife's Tea "As A Health Cure" -- Daily Telegraph
568. Husband's Internet Date Turns out to Be His Wife -- PA headline 569. I Did Exist Says Major -- Mirror.
570. Iceberg Blamed For Dysentery
571. Idaho Group Organizes To Help, Service Widows 572. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly It May Last A While 573. Ike Says Nixon Can't Stand Pat
574. Illinois Mulls Capital Punishment Reform after Mistakes -- AFP headline 575. I'm Not Cruel Says Maggot Dog Woman -- South Avon Mercury
576. Impotent Must Say No To Sausages And Bacon -- Times. 577. Incest More Common Than Thought In America
579. India's Nuclear Yeti
580. Indicted Man Might Be Part Of Plot -- AP headline 581. Infant Morality Shows Drop Here
582. Infertility Unlikely To Be Passed On 583. Inmate Electrocuted On Toilet
584. Inquest Opens on Dead Woman -- Bath Chronicle 585. Insect Sex Organs Rise From The Dead -- New Scientist
586. Insects Play Important Role In Helping To Solve Crimes -- Irish Times. 587. Invisible Man Comes Out Of Hiding -- Sydney Daily Telegraph.
588. Invisible Man Disappears From View -- Reuters headline
589. Invisible Man Faked Death In Paddington Rail Crash -- Sunday Times 590. Invisible Tenants Get Council Cash -- Wimbledon Independent. 591. Iowa Move Back To Pittsburgh
592. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
593. Irish Mice Win Design Award -- Irish Times. 594. Irish Peat Bogs Rocked By Great Sheep Explosion 595. Irish Robots Win At Volleyball -- Irish Times. 596. Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
597. Isn't It Dangerous Trying To Drive Two Cars At Once? -- Leyton Guardian
598. Israeli Men Say Better Sex Would Create Social Peace 599. Israeli Religious Leader Bans Nose Picking on Sabbath 600. It's Always Best To Avoid Killer Bee Hives.
601. Italian Plane Passengers See Flames, Vote to Land -- Reuters headline 602. Jail Guard Probe In Prison Sex
603. Janet Jackson Has Another, Um, Single Out -- Arizona Republic headline 604. Japan, Russia Still Far Apart on Islands -- Reuters headline
605. Jesus "Not A Hedgehog" -- Church Times
606. Jocelyn Elders Forces Clinton's Hand -- Associated Press headline 607. Judge Acts To Reopen Theater
608. Judge Issues Preliminary Injunction In Cigarette Display Case -- Asheville (Nc) Citizen-Times.
609. Judge Says Texas is Part of U.S. 610. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach 611. Judgement Day Date Delayed
612. Judges To Learn "Human Awareness"
613. Jupiter Out Of Orbit Over Resignation -- Irish Times. 614. Jury Clears Cow in Car Accident -- AP headline
615. Jury Finds Pope Guilty Of Homicide -- This Week In The News 616. Jury Gets Drunk Driving Case Here
617. Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant 618. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
619. Kids' Pajamas To Be Removed By Woolworth
623. Kremlin May Decide Outcome Of Cavan-Monaghan Election -- Irish Times
624. Kruger Park Lions Dying Like Flies -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg) 625. "Light" Meals Are Lower In Fat, Calories -- Huntington Herald-Dispatch,
November 30
626. L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide 627. Labour Councillors Worried About Disappearing Trains
628. Lack Of Brains Hinders Research -- The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 629. Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing
630. Landlord Sentenced to Die for Eating Tenant -- Reuters headline 631. Landmines -- Diana On Last Leg Of Trip -- Bbc Ceefax
632. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
633. Large Celestial Object Stuns Astronomers -- New Scientist
634. Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -- The Los Angeles Times, November 2
635. Latin Course To Be Canceled - No Interest Among Students, Et Al. 636. Law Prohibits Swearing Around the Dead -- AP headline
637. Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests 638. Lawyer Calls Soul As Witness
639. Lawyer Frees Own Killer -- News 0f The World 640. Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advise
641. Lazy, Fat Dragons To Go On Crash Diet In Zoo
642. Legal Actions Aim To Prevent 'Anorexic And Alien Body' Being Built -- Irish Times.
643. Legislature Follows the Law, Does Little
644. Legless Priest Steals Armless Man's Wife -- News 0f The World.
645. Lennon Guitar sells for £20,000. No Strings Attached. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo
646. Lesbian Cow Study Udderly Serious -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail headline
647. Lesbian Ex-Nun Witch Hits Bad Spell In N.Y. -- New York Post 648. Lesotho Women Make Great Carpets -- Unknown Source, Quoted By
John Preston, Sunday Telegraph.
649. Less Formal Orthodox Church Sought -- AP headline 650. Let The People Decide On Drugs -- Observer
651. Life Means Caring For Hospital Director 652. Lightning Strikes Worshippers
653. Limp Bizkit Singer: Money's Not All
654. Lingerie Shipment Hijacked -Thief Gives Police The Slip 655. Lions Elect New District Governor
656. Lions Put On Dog Show -- West Briton (Cornwall)
657. Lions Say That Was Then, This Is Now -- Johannesburg Citizen 658. Lions Still Preying On Aliens -- The Star And Sunday South African
Times
661. Living Saint Laid To Rest --Examiner
662. Lizard Re-routes Queen's Plane -- D. Telegraph.
663. Llama Drama Ding-Dong. -- Liverpool Daily Post and Echo 664. Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
665. Local Man Has Longest Horns In Texas
666. London 4800 Nurses Short -- Evening Standard
667. London Bus Goes Down Well In Moscow -- Dundee Courier. 668. Londons Homeless To Live In Admiralty Arch - The Times 669. Long Island Stiffens For Lili's Blow - Newsday
670. Lord's Mother Suing Diocese
671. Lost Scissors Found In Woman -- Guardian. 672. Lost Trees Found In Scottish Highlands
673. Low-Cost Rabies Shots To Be Offered In Transylvania -- Ashville Citizen-Times
674. Low Wages Said Key To Poverty -- Newsday, July 11 675. Lung Cancer In Women Mushrooms
676. Lutherans OK Pact With Episcopalians -- AP headline
677. "Master Idiot" Did Not Know Picasso Was In Suitcase -- Guardian 678. "Missing" WPC Found Weeping In Panda
679. Mad Cow Talks -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner 680. Maddened Cow Leads Farmers' Protest -- The Times 681. Mafia Boss Escapes in Wheelchair
682. Maggots Tackle Raiders 683. Magician's Car Vanishes
684. Magician Nearly Killed By Doves -- West Briton
685. Malaysian Transvestites Whack Religious Police with Handbags -- AFP headline
686. Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children -- Reuters headline 687. Male Naturist Members Rise -- Big Issue North
688. Malls Try To Attract Shoppers -- The Baltimore Sun, October 22 689. Man's Bitten Finger Was 'Trespassing' -- Bradford Telegraph & Argus. 690. Man Accused Of Excessively Passing Wind
691. Man Admits Stuffing Shrimp into Pants -- AP headline 692. Man Allegedly Beaten By Woman With A Frozen Fish
693. Man Appears Over Swimming Pool Body -- Bbc North Ceefax. 694. Man Attacked By Canal
695. Man Bit Head Off Girlfriend's Pet Gerbil -- Birmingham Post 696. Man Blames Reckless Driving on Martians -- Reuters headline
697. Man Charged with Meth Manufacture after Pants Explode -- AP headline 698. Man Died Of Natural Causes -- Wirral News Group
699. Man Dies After 25 Years in a Bus Shelter -- Reuters headline 700. Man Dies After Life Support Removed
701. Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish 702. Man Executed in Texas, Oklahoma -- AP headline
705. Man Frees Self From Mailbox
706. Man Goes Berserk in Car Saleroom, Many Volvos Hurt -- Reuters headline
707. Man Held In Miami After Shooting Bee 708. Man Held Over Giant L.A. Brush Fire 709. Man Hurt By Fairy Cake
710. Man Hurt When Compacted in Garbage Truck -- Reuters. Full the story click Here
711. Man In Rat Row Had Drunk 17 Pints Of Cider -- Halifax Evening Courier 712. Man Is Fatally Slain
713. Man Jailed After Restaurant Row - Indian Staff Terrified As He Demands Italian Food -- Aberdeen Evening Express.
714. Man Jailed For Exaggerating Pain -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 715. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
716. Man Of God Kicks Dog In Head -- Peterborough Eve. Telegraph. 717. Man on Singles Holiday Finds Himself Alone -- PA headline 718. Man on Way to Brothel Finds Wife Working -- Reuters headline 719. Man Ordered To Marry Cow
720. Man Plunges Over Cliff While Posing For Photo -- PA headline
721. Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies -- The Los Angeles Times, March 2 722. Man Says Israeli Police Shot Him -- AP headline
723. Man Shaved For Using Prophetess' toilet -- East African Standard 724. Man Shoots Neighbor With Machete -- The Miami Herald, July 3 725. Man Shot By Shed -- Sun
726. Man Shot In Los Boliches -- The Town Crier (Malaga) 727. Man Sought At Sea Was In Bed
728. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
729. Man Takes Garbage Truck at Gunpoint -- Madison (Indiana) Courier headline
730. Man Tells Police His Crack Dealer Ran over Him -- Greenville (S.C.) News headline
731. Man Tossing Knife in the Air Stabs Self in Head -- AP headline 732. Man Vanishes While Driving - Providence Journal-Bulletin 733. Man Wins His Job Back After He Dies -- Daily Mirror 734. Man Wins Trip For "Fathering" Rhino
735. Man With One Arm And Leg Cheats On Other Half -- News Of The World
736. Mandelson's Dog Is Reported Ready To Fly -- Irish Times
737. Mangoes Bring Down Plane - The Sunday Mail (Brisbane, Australia) 738. Manhunt For Former Elf Boss -- Irish Times.
739. Many Antiques Seen At D.A.R. Meeting
740. Many Women at Risk of Being Murdered Don't Know It -- Reuters headline
741. Marbles Tortured, Says Minister -- Irish Times. 742. March Planned For Next August
744. Married Priests In Catholic Church A Long Time Coming - The New Haven Connecticut Register
745. Martian Blamed For Lib Dem Election Losses -- Woking News & Mail 746. Mary Poppins Is A Black Man -- Economist.
747. Masked Man On Horse Offered Drugs To Garda -- Irish Times
748. Mass Poisoning In Donkey Soup War -- Wolverhampton Express & Star, 749. Mayor's Ball Is Back On The Menu -- Gloucestershire Echo
750. Mayor Bans SEX At Local Library -- Mesa Tribune, (after the book, SEX, by Madonna was released)
751. Mayor Is Ousted By Mice -- Western Daily Press 752. Meat Head Fights Hike In Minimum Pay
753. Memorial Pool Now a Crumbled Mess -- AP headline
754. Memories Are Stolen After Burglars Raid Oap's Home -- Wiltshire Star. 755. Men Get A Lesson On Kerb Crawling - The Times
756. Men In Black Fail To Attract Sponsors -- Daily Telegraph 757. Men Recommend More Clubs For Wives
758. Men Think Their Way to Fertility -- Reuters headline 759. Merlin Meets The Pope -- Reading Evening Post 760. Mermaid Entertains Popular Hunchback
761. Mermaid Rescue Plan Falters
762. Messiah Climaxes In Chorus Of Hallelujahs - The Anchorage Alaska Times
763. Mexican Leader Crashes To Earth
764. Mexican Police Arrest Horse For Damaging Car - Daily Texan 765. Mexico Church Calls Santa a Drunk -- AP headline
766. Miami Considers Staying Put -- New York Times headline
767. Mice Blamed For Missing Drinks -- Wolverhampton Express & Star 768. Mice To Be Bombed
769. Mickey Mouse Found In Antartic Ice -- Modern Astronomy Magazine 770. Middle East Villages On The Move To Australia -- Brisbane Courier Mall 771. Mike Tyson Accused Of Cruelty To Ferrets -- Times.
772. Milk Drinkers Are Turning To Powder 773. Milkman Finds Leg
774. Mimes Blamed For Abusive Language 775. Miners Refuse To Work After Death
776. Ministers Son Held On Drugs -- Daily Mirror 777. Mirror Plans Rival To FT -- Observer
778. Missing Link Blamed For Road Deaths -- Newark Advertiser 779. Missing Teen Tied To Bones
780. Mistook Inmate's Noose For Decoration, Court Told -- Dundee Courier And Advertiser
781. Mobile Phone Threat To Universe
782. Moggy Found But Now The Owners Are Lost -- Waltham Forest (London) Independant
784. Mole Embraces Supermarkets
Sandy Mole Is A D&G Planning Official. - Dumfries & Galloway Standard 785. Mondale's Offensive Looks Hard To Beat
786. Monitor Lizard Fails To Explode In MP's Toilet 787. Monster Growing Out Of Control -- Guardian
788. Monsters Take To The Streets -- Sunday Mail (Queensland)
789. Months To Wait For Mouldy Flat Family -- The Citizen (Gloucester) 790. Moose Cheese To Oust Dung As Swedish Souvenir
791. More Exercise May Help Weight Loss -- AP headline 792. Moroccan Dog Was Unexploded Bomb
793. Morticians Fight Over Corpse -- Canberra Times
794. MP's Mother Joins Critic Of His Plans To "Keep Greys Away" -- Times 795. Mr. Coffee Expands its Line to Sell ... Coffee -- South Florida
Sun-Sentinel headline
796. Mrs. Corson's Seat Up For Grabs
797. Mrs. Rydell's Bust Unveiled, At Nearby School
798. Murdered Fiancés Present Petition To Number 10 -- Teletext
799. Myth and Monsters exhibition entertains and eductaes -- Westminster Independent
800. Mythical Beast Brings City Grim Message 801. N.J. Judge To Rule On Nude Beach
802. Nader Calls Convention a 'Carnival' -- AP headline 803. Nanny Calm As Troops Close In
804. NASA Briefly Loses Contact With Atlantis - Lewiston (ME)
805. Nasa To Spend $1b On Asteroids -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 806. Nation's Hungry Attack Meese.
807. National Slacker Day May Be Too Much Effort -- Reuters headline 808. Naturism Seeks Raised Profile -- Hastings and St. Leonards Observer 809. Naval Divers To Help Sharks Settle In -- Irish Times
810. Navy To Make Boats -- -- South China Morning Post
811. Neighbours Fear Golf Balls -- Richmond and Twickenham Times 812. Nelson's Hair Saved Grandson -- Times
813. Never Withhold Herpes From Loved One
814. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One 815. New Autos To Hit 5 Million
816. New compensation rules for late flights delayed by a year -- The Times 817. New Head Of Rail Body -- Hammersmith And Fulham Post
818. New Housing For Elderly Not Yet Dead
819. New Lease Of Life For The Wizard – Halifax Evening Courier 820. New Markets Found For Poor Peruvians -- The Times
821. New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
822. New South Wales Government Moves To Tighten Testosterone Availability
823. New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group 824. New Tabloid "Owned By God"
826. New York Bans Judgement Day -- Guardian
827. New Zealand Scientists Use Balloon to Measure Cattle Farts -- AFP headline
828. News Crew Pickpocketed While Covering Pickpocket Story -- Mainichi Shimbun (Japan) headline
829. Nicaragua Sets Goal To Wipe Out Literacy 830. Nickers Leave Hospital Crutchless
831. Night School To Hear Pest Talk
832. Nine Yard Men Turn Supergrass -- Evening Standard
833. North Dakota Child Found To Spread Tuberculosis -- Reuters. 834. North Korean Leader Names Ancient Frog "Ancient Frog"
835. Norwegian Motorist is Slapped with Parking Ticket While Stuck in Traffic Jam -- AP headline
836. Nothing Destroyed In Fire But Damage Near $100,000 837. Nuclear Fuel Sent To Japan "Unsafe" -- Guardian. 838. Nude Scene Done Tastefully In Radio Play
839. Nudist Welfare Worker's Model Wife Falls for Chinese Hypnotist from the Co-op Bacon Factory --
840. Nuns Drop Suit; Bishops Agree To Aid Them 841. Nurse Fends Off Crocodile -- Irish Independent
842. Nurses Warn Against Rash Use Of Herbal Oil Treatments -- The Guardian 843. Ny Ponders Beating Victim -- AP Headline News of the World
844. "Only Jail Will Stop Me", Says Illegal False Teeth Fitter 845. Oap Fined For Limping Too Slowly -- Mirror
846. Oasis Album Could Be Record
847. Objections Raised To Quake Aid For Aliens 848. Officer Convicted Of Accepting Bride
849. Officers Shoot Dead Burglar In Siege -- Times
850. Official: Only Rain Will Cure Drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
851. Officials Consider Bridge Suicide
852. Officials: Elvis is Still Dead -- AP headline
853. Old Guy Found Wandering at Stadium -- AP headline 854. Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
855. Olympic Fans Too Busy for Prostitutes -- Reuters headline 856. Omagh Team Aims To Make Pigs Fly Gracefully -- Irish Times 857. One In Three UK Girls Regret Drunken Sex
858. Only Poets Can Save Us From Millennium Buggery -- Times Of India 859. Opossum Squashing Ignites Debate
860. Oprah, Madonna Talk Marriage
861. Organ Festival Ends In Smashing Climax - San Antonio Rose 862. Oscar Proves God Is A Mexican -- Guardian.
866. [Roman Catholic] Priest Pleads Guilty to Making Date-Rape Drug -- Reuters
867. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
868. Panther Mauled In Election For Mayor -- Hong Kong Standard. 869. Panthers Destroy Viking Visitors -- Peterborough Evening Telegraph. 870. Passengers To Wait 10 Years For Fast Trains -- The Times
871. Pastor Aghast After First Lady Sex Position
872. Pastor Fighting To Stop Shop Selling Inflatable Sheep On Sundays - Western Mail
873. Patient At Death's Door -Doctors Pull Him Through 874. Patient With Bad Knee Has Surgery On Healthy Tooth 875. Pavarotti Anticipating Eclipse -- AP headline
876. Pd Senator Speculates On A Future In Outer Space -- Irish Times 877. Peacock Pops Alien Invaders
878. Pelicans May Be Turned Into Puffins -- The News(Portsmouth).
879. Penguin Dung May Hold Key To Human Flu -- South China Morning Post 880. Peruvian Head Takes Mystery Trip – Seattle Times
881. Petroleum Jelly Keeps Idle Tools Rust -Free - Chicago Daily News 882. Phallus Museum Erected in Reykjavik
883. Phantom Actor Sues -- Daily Telegraph 884. Phantom Bus Didn't Show -- South Bucks Star 885. Phantom Patients Offer Healthy Income -- Guardian
886. Phantom Told To Pay Wife £3,000 A Month -- Metro (London).
887. Physicist Recommends Bigger Balls To Slow Down Male Tennis Players -Guardian
888. Pig Music Ordered Turned Down -- AP headline
889. Pigs Fly Flag For Farmers -- Brisbane (Australia) Courier-Mail 890. Pilot Vows To Quit Flying After Landing On His Wife
891. Pirates Could Be Jailed -- Halifax Evening Courier. 892. Pit Bulls Love You, Really
893. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told 894. Planned Parenthood Looking For Volunteers
895. Planning Experts At Odds On Impact Of "Missing Link" 896. Plastic Factory Worked Burned -- Coventry Eve. Telegraph 897. Platform Shoes Claim Another Life -- Reuters headline
898. Please Visit Cairo but Without Your Chimpanzee Friends, Officials Say 899. Plenty of Sex Advised for Successful Pregnancy -- Reuters headline 900. Pogo Stick Girl Saves Mother From Knifeman
901. Pole Sets World Record for Pole-Sitting -- AP headline 902. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers 903. Police Discover Crack In Australia
904. Police Find Burglar Through Yellow Snow He Left Behind -- Reno Gazette-Journal headline
905. Police Hunt Spoons -- Falmouth Packet
908. Police Plea On Speed -- Northampton Herald & Post. 909. Police Probe 'Suspicious' Body in Cemetery -- PA headline
910. Police Say Man Who Swallowed $37,500 Gem Has Yielded Loot -- Chicago Tribune headline
911. Police Search Home 300 Times, Find Nothing -- Reuters headline 912. Police Seek Witnesses To Assault -- Richmond Borough Guardian 913. Police Sing For Animals -- Brighton & Hove Albion.
914. Police Spray Knife Man On Train -- Sydney Dally Telegraph.
915. Police Suspicious after Body Found in Graveyard -- Halifax (Canada) Chronicle-Herald headline
916. Police Target "Invisible" Cycle Riders -- Cornish Guardian
917. Police Want Extra Eyes To Catch Impaired Drivers -- North Bay Nugget (Ontario)
918. Police Work a Lot Safer Than in 1970 -- AP headline;
Two Cops Killed Attempting Arrest -- AP headline that appeared much later the same day
919. Police: Body Cavity Search Reveals Crack -- La Crosse (Wisc.) Tribune headline
920. Police: Man Killed Wife, Self, Set Fire -- Houston Chronicle headline 921. Political Apathy Growing, Poll Shows -- UPI Headline
922. Politician Says Too Busy to Cheat on His Wife -- Reuters headline 923. Poll Shows Voters Prefer Bush at Barbecue -- AP headline
924. Poop Scooper Finds Job Fun, Refreshing -- AP headline 925. Pope To Fly In Hellfire Helicopter -- D. Telegraph.
926. Portable Toilet Bombed Police Have Nothing To Go On -Newton Daily News
927. Postmen Taught How To Walk -- Daily Mail
928. Postmistress Is Sued By Killer For Missing FT -- Daily Telegraph 929. Potato, Dancing Raisins Cut a Deal -- AP headline
930. Potential Of Dublin As A "Solar Capital" Is Discussed 931. Poverty Lags In Mississippi Delta
932. Prehistoric Man Gets Lift In A Hearse -- Western Mail 933. Presidential Footwear on Display -- AP headline
934. Priest Duels With Dracula -- Mltcham & Morden Guardian. 935. Priest in Fatal Crash Improves -- Lakeland (Fla.) Ledger headline
936. Prosecution Paints O.J. As A Wife-Killer -- Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
937. Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Undersheriff
938. Prostitute Says Government Ruining Trade -- Reuters headline 939. Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
940. Prostitutes To Hold Open Day -- Irish Times 941. Protecting Thanet's Cuntryside -- Adscene - Thanet
942. Psychic Ferrets Take Over Couple's World -- Derby Evening Telegraph 943. Psychotic White Rhino Boards Freedom Flight
944. Public Swings In Favour Of The Prince-- The Times
946. Pusat Islam: Aliens Among Shi'ite Leaders 947. Putin Pardons Pope - Brisbane Courier Mail
948. Pygmy Caught In Mousetrap -- Northampton Chronicle & Echo 949. Python Savages Parrot -- Wales On Sunday
950. QEH Spending $1.2m To Help Curb Bowl Cancer -- The Advertiser 951. Quarter Of A Million Chinese Live On Water
952. Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
953. Race Cyclists Caught Speeding -- Reuters headline
954. Rats Con Woman, 78, Out Of £3000 Savings -- Greenwhich Mercury 955. Rattle To Lead Berlin Philharmonic -- AP headline
956. Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
957. Real Godmother Becomes Fairy Godmother -- The Dally Observer (St John's, Antigua).
958. Recreational Use of Viagra Dangerous -- UPI headline
959. Rector With Crowbar Seeks To Lay Nun's Ghost -- Daily Graphic. 960. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
961. Report: Depression Causes Impotence
962. Report: U.S. Scientists Create 'Living Breasts'
963. Research: Beer Stops Cancer Damage -- UPI headline 964. Researcher Links Obesity, Food Portions -- AP headline 965. Researchers Locate Tomato Gene -- AP headline
966. Researchers Can See Thoughts 967. Revolt By Yard Men
968. Rhode Island Seeks Weightless Prison -- Lewiston (ME) Sun Journal 969. Rhode Island to Honor Mr. Potato Head -- AP headline
970. Ribena Offer To Blood Service 971. Right To Die Advocate Found Dead.
972. Rise Of 'Mutants' Leaves France A Divided Nation – Times
973. Risque Business: Misguided Skating Officials Are Cracking down on Pelvis-Pumping and Lap-Dancing - as Though People Actually Want to Watch Olympians Skate -- San Francisco Chronicle headline
974. RJB To Spend £50m On Lifting Australian Stake - The Times 975. Robber Holds Up Albert's Hosiery
976. Robber Orders Starbucks Employee To Ground -- clickondetroit.com 977. Robber Sawed His Father In Half
978. Robbers Attack School in Pretoria -- AP headline
979. Rolling Stones Give Free Concert - No One Killed -- Reuters headline 980. Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself -- from the Chicago Rotary
Club journal Gyrator
981. RSPCA Fights Motorbikes For Hamsters -- Daily Telegraph 982. Russia's Economic Woes Outweigh The Universe -- Guardian 983. Russia's Statistics Boss Accused of Fraud
984. Russia Unsure of Where Fugitive Is -- AP headline 985. Russian Troops Tell Of Invisible Enemy -- Guardian. 986. 'Santa' Steals Painkiller From Drug Store -- AP headline
988. Substitute Teachers Seeking Respect -- AP headline
989. Scots Experts To Help Georgia's Rural Economy -- The Scotsman 25/01/2000
990. S. Africa Battles Invasion Of Alien Water-Snatchers -- Daily Yomiuri (Japan)
991. S. Florida Illegal Aliens Cut In Half By New Law
992. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 993. Saints Overrun Hapless Halifax -- Guardian.
994. Salesman Says He Left, 4 Large Rings In Malden Bathtub 995. Sand Found On Beach Shocker -- Hartlepool Mail
996. Santa Accused of Slapping Child -- Reuters 997. Santa Gives Jesus The Sack -- Guardian
998. Santa Rosa Man Denies He Commited Suicide In South San Francisco 999. Saudi Takes Four Wives in One Night to Spite His Ex -- AFP headline 1000. Sauerkraut Seeks New Image -- Reuters headline
1001. Save My Life And I'll Sue You, Warned Suicide Note -- Daily Telegraph 1002. Save Streams, Fish Head Warns -- Bainbridge (GA) Review
1003. Saving The Whale From Space -- BBC News Online
1004. Scared of Y2K? Head for a Nuclear Reactor -- Reuters headline 1005. Scent Foul Play In Death Of Man Found Bound And Hanged 1006. School Praised After Vandalism -- West Briton
1007. School Says Boy in Drag Can't Be Queen -- Reuters headline 1008. Science Confirms: Politicians Lie -- Reuters headline
1009. Scientists Find "Cure" For Sex-Change Fish -- Evening Standard (London)
1010. Scientists Grow Human Arms And Legs On Trees! - People & Places (Ghana)
1011. Scientists Hoping To Grow Their Own Livers -- Daily Record 1012. Scientists See Quakes In L.A. Future -- The Oregonian, January 28 1013. Scientists To Have Ford's Ear
1014. Scottish Scientists Plan Search For Laziness Gene -- Reuters headline 1015. Senate Passes Death Penalty Measure Provides For Electrocution For All
Persons Over 17
1016. Senators Maintain Their Hold On Devils -- Newark (NJ) Star Ledger 1017. Seven Foreigners, Seven Locals Up Each Other At Wotulu Memorial --
Inodnesioan Observer
1018. Severed Hand Saved By Peas -- The Sun
1019. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training 1020. Sex Scandal Vicar Seeks New Position
1021. Sex Up and Down after September 11 -- Reuters headline 1022. Shanghai Adult Toy Fair Hits the Spot -- Reuters headline 1023. Shark Dies Biting Man
1024. Sharks Gored In Bullring -- Sunday Times (Johannesburg) 1025. Sheep Answers Monk's Prayer -- Darlington & Stockton Times 1026. Shell Found on Beach -- (Brighton Argus, UK)
1028. Shooting Suspect Said Hot-Tempered -- AP headline 1029. Shops Put "In Peril By Flowers"
1030. Shot Man Mistaken For Feral Cat: Police 1031. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
1032. Sick Skunks Overrun Massachusetts -- Lewiston (Me:) Sun Journal. 1033. Silent Bar Staff And Customers With Three Legs At Inn -- West Briton
(Cornwall).
1034. Silent Teamster Boss Gets Unusual Punishment, Lawyer
1035. Silicon Boys Have More Time to Look for Love -- AFP headline 1036. Six Take £8m Pot -- News Of The World
1037. Slave Sale Aids Charity -- Gloucester Echo
1038. Slimy Leeches Are Devoted Parents -- Reuters headline
1039. Slow Progress For Rotting Estate Victims -- Glossop (Derbyshire) Advertiser
1040. Small Town Celebrates "Toilet Fest" -- AP headline 1041. Smaller Families Recquire Less Food
1042. Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency 1043. Smokers Have Odd Brains
1044. Snake Throws Master Into Cell
1045. Snake Venom Slows Breast Tumor Growth -- UPI headline
1046. Sneak Attack By Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen --The Atlanta Journal 4/4/79 1047. Snow Storms May Be Precursor of Winter -- AP headline
1048. Snowman Accused Of Indecency - Daily Telegraph 1049. Snowman Quits Top Opera Job -- Times
1050. Some People Have Been Gormless Since 1746 -- Daily Telegraph 1051. Some Phone Psychics Provide Useless, Erroneous Information 1052. Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
1053. Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says 1054. Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
1055. Spaniard Hits Girlfriend at Anti-Violence Rally 1056. Spaniards Study Inside of Ham
1057. Special Events Mark Domestic Violence Month -- Seattle Post-Intellgencer.
1058. Spiders Signed Up For Army 1059. Split Rears In Farmers' Movememt
1060. Spooked Elephants Riot At Suburban Mall 1061. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
1062. Squirrel Ransacks House Looking For Peanuts -- D Telegraph. 1063. Squirrel Sleuth Cracks Robbery -- Reuters headline
1064. Squirrel Turns City Dark, Sets Grass Fire -- Ogden (Ut) Standard-Examiner.
1065. Squirrels Eating Tokyo -- High Desert Advocate (West Wendover, Nevada).
1066. St Malo: Largest Amount Of Cannabis Ever Seized In Joint Operation -- Jersey Evening Post
1068. Stadium Air Conditioning Fails - Fans Protest
1069. Staff Dig Deep For Children -- Gloucestershire Echo. 1070. Stampede For Compost
1071. State Will Poison Rivers So It Can Count Dead Fish
1072. Statistics Show That Teen Pregnancy Drops Off Significantly After Age 25 -- Mary Ann Tebdo Republican Senator From Colorado Springs
1073. Steals Clock, Faces Time
1074. Stealth Fighter Crashes Into A Time Warp -- Irish Times.
1075. Steel-Eating Microbes Threaten To Devour Britain's Ports -- Independent On Sunday.
1076. Stephen King Impersonator Steals 5,000 Lobsters 1077. Sterilizations Solves Problems, For Pets, Owners 1078. Stiff Opposition Expected To Casketless Funeral Plan 1079. Stiff Opposition To Casketless Funeral Plan
1080. Stock Market Succumbs to Reality -- AP headline 1081. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
1082. Stop Strimming Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post 1083. Straw's Pledge To Rape Victims -- Express
1084. Strawberry Charged Over Sex And Drugs -- Int. Herald Tribune, 1085. Strawberry Speaks Of Death Wish -- Int. Herald Tribune
1086. Stretches Of M62 Have "Vanished" -- Huddersfield Daily Examiner 1087. Strike Over, Twinkie Shortage Ends -- AP headline
1088. Stud Tires Out
1089. Students Compete for Pillow Fight Record -- AP headline 1090. Study Finds Broad Problems in Army
1091. Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -- Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995 1092. Study Links Menopause, Aging
1093. Study: Alcohol May Prevent Dementia -- AP headline
1094. Study: Ape Herpes Viruses May Be Transmissible to Humans -- Reuters headline
1095. Study: Depressed Women Live Longer -- AP headline 1096. Study: Drinking, Fainting Connected -- AP headline 1097. Study: Duct Tape Doesn't Seal Ducts -- AP headline 1098. Study: Ecstasy Causes Brain Damage -- AP headline 1099. Study: Gay Clergy Disregarding Church Ban On Celibacy 1100. Study: Narcissists are Dangerous
1101. Study: Obesity Can Shorten Lifespan -- AP headline 1102. Successful Heads May Be Shared -- Daily Telegraph 1103. Sues Bride Of 4 Mouths
1104. Suit Says Hospital Mistook Constipation For Cancer
1105. Summer Treat: Ice Cream "Isn't Health Food" -- Reuters headline 1106. Superheroes Make Kids Eat Fruit and Vegetables -- Reuters headline 1107. Surgery For Duck Hurt By Anglers Left Hook -- Jersey Evening Post 1108. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -- The New
York Times, November 22
1110. Suspected Alien Boat Dodges Customs -- Brisbane Courier Mail. 1111. Suspected Bank Robber Leaves a Clue: Driver's License -- Houston
Chronicle headline
1112. Suspended MP Accused Of Telling A Hundred Lies -- The Guardian 1113. Swallowed Diamond Ring Shows Up as Evidence -- Reuters headline 1114. Swamp Thing Bedevils Police Station -- The Record (Hackensack New
Jersey)
1115. Swazi King, 2 Sons Poison Suspects
1116. Swedish Dentist Seizes Teeth in Payment Dispute 1117. Swedish Jet Hijacked By Bread Roll
1118. Swiss Hale Heroin Giveaway A Success -- Associated Press 1119. System Fails To Catch Hermaphrodite Cattle -- Irish Times 1120. "The Pill" Might Prevent Acne Too -- AP headline
1121. TABLETS Viagra blamed for 69 deaths -- Ceefax News Page 1122. Tarmac Close To Merger With Aggregate -- Sunday Times
1123. Tarzan's Loincloth Hid A Big Swinger -- Sunday Times (South Africa). 1124. Tax Break For Hedgehogs -- Nottingham Evening Post.
1125. Tax Mooted For Flatulent Cows -- Brisbane (Aust) Sunday Mail. 1126. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
1127. Teen-Age Girls Often Have Babies Fathered By Men -- The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
1128. Teen Girls Driving More Like Boys -- AP headline 1129. Tenant Failed To Give Notice Before Dying
1130. Tennessee Williams Brought To Life In A Unique Setting 1131. Tequila Helps Actress Take Her Clothes Off -- Reuters headline 1132. Termites Lay Siege To New Orleans -- Sunday Times (South Africa) 1133. Testicles On Sale -- The Nambian
1134. Texans Chip in to Rescue Stranded Chicken-Hypnotist -- Reuters headline 1135. Textron Inc. Makes Offer To Screw Company Stockholders - The Miami
Herald
1136. Thanks To President Clinton, Staff Sgt. Fruer Now Has A Son - The Arkansas Plainsman
1137. The Correct Version Declares God Ambidextrous 1138. The Mad Hatter Saves Alice From Knifeman
1139. The Queen Is A "Parrot" Says Paisley -- Daily Telegraph
1140. The Unknown Clouds Search for School Superintendent -- Louisville, Kentucky
1141. There Can Be No Excuse For Drinking While Under The Influence Of Alcohol -- Hull Daily Mail
1142. There May Be Diamonds in Planets -- AP headline 1143. They Came They Saw... Swindon --Western Daily Press 1144. Thief Nabbed Returning for Ass -- UPI headline
1145. Thieves Steal 8 Tons of Spa Mud -- AP headline
1146. Thomas the Tank Engine Discovered Driving Taxi -- Reuters headline 1147. Thousands See Green Man -- North Devon Journal.
1149. Three Wise Men Refused Visas By Saudi Arabia 1150. Thugs Eat Then Rob Proprietor
1151. Tigers Shoot Down Gunship -- Irish Tmes 1152. Time Machine Found In Brain
1153. Titanic Shipyard May Sack Workers -- AP headline
1154. Toad Stuck In Share Hole Despite High-Profile Signing -- Daily Telegraph
1155. Toads Stop Play In Top Cricket Pub
1156. Tomatoes Come In Big, Little, Medium Sizes -- The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
1157. Tomorrow: Political Guru Ed Rollins At 9 AM
1158. Tony Blair Promises Parents The Right To Smack --Independent 1159. Too Much Homework is Bad for You, UK Academics Say -- Reuters
headline
1160. Top Evangelist Caught Red-Handed With Nanny-Goat – People & Places (Ghana)
1161. Top Surgeon Is To Head New Body In Medical Ethics -- Evening Standard
1162. Top Terror Fugitive Hid from Police on Nudist Beach -- AP headline 1163. Tortoises Held Hostage As Lobster War Turns Nasty -- Independent 1164. Town To Drop School Bus, When Overpass Is Ready
1165. Towns Must Spend Big To Fight Alien Plans -- Boston Globe 1166. Toxic Waste Tour Planned
1167. Traffic Dead Rise Slowly
1168. Traffic Stop May Check Alien Status -- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 1169. Tragedy Of Mother Eaten By Maggots -- Mirror.
1170. Train Driver Temporarily Blinded by Exploding Pigeon -- PA headline 1171. Transsexuals Benefits Cut Off -- Highbury & Islington Express.
1172. Trapeze Artist Attacks Rival with Castration Tongs -- Reuters
1173. Trapped Dragons Are Blamed For Problems At New Hong Kong Airport -- Weekly Telegraph
1174. Trojan Is New EU Secretary-General -- Irish Times
1175. Trout Being Tempted By Extra-Terrestrials - Dudley Chronicle 1176. Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast
1177. Turkey Blamed For Appaling Driving
1178. Turkey Votes for Christmas -- Financial Times
1179. Tv Reporters Feel Pressure On Cha-Cha -- Philippine Dally Inquirer. 1180. TV Sets To Book Hols
1181. Twinkles Shortage Looms -- New York Dally News.
1182. Two Cars Were Reported Stolen By The Groveton Police Yesterday. 1183. Two Convicts Evade Noose Jury Hung
1184. Two Guns Beats Four Aces: Armed Robbers Hit Paris Poker Tournament -- AFP headline
1185. Two One-Legged Inmates Skip Jail -- Reuters headline