Submissive Training and Development 2014

Submissive Conditioning, Training and Development

by Cross

www.CrossCultureBDSM.com [email protected]

NOTE: This was a handout designed to act as an anchor point in the context of a much larger discussion. This is not inclusive of all information presented in the class and should not be taken as a complete resource.

The World According To Me

The ideas, theories, and crazy schemes presented herein are the sole perspective and opinion of the presenter, who encourages attendees and readers to seek out other perspectives and ideas, especially those that disagree with him, before deciding on a path for themselves. Cross is not an “expert” of any kind related to this practice and does not guarantee any particular result from its use. Play at your own risk profile.

The Three Aims of Submissive Training and Development:

While the goals of training will always be determined by those involved, the following three areas are the most common and tend to have the highest priority

 Submissive Skill/Behavior Development

The purpose of this section is to learn skills, knowledge, or behaviors that can be valuable in a variety of settings with a variety of dominant partners.

o Household Management o Personal Attendance o Sexual Services

o Business Communication and Organization o Event Coordination

o Interpersonal Skills

 Dominant’s Individual Preferences

The purpose of this section is to learn the preferences of specific dominant partner(s) for use during service to them.

o How they like their food prepared

o Their daily or weekly schedule and what you can do to help with it o How much pressure they like during a massage

o What are their favorite fetishes o Protocols, rules, and consequences

 Personal Goals

The purpose of this section is to continue personal growth as an individual according to your own dreams and drives.

o Things you are embarrassed that you can’t do well o Eliminating a bad habit

o Abilities or skills that you are proud of o Things that you always wanted to learn

o Abilities that will be useful in your future career o Hobbies that keep you sane and focused

Identifying the proclivities of the submissive and determining the submissive’s role

What does the submissive get out of the D/s relationship? What fulfills them and drives their submission?

 Desire for Active Service – Active services are those things that the submissive

does for others, such as cooking, performing oral sex, or managing the dominant’s schedule.

 Desire for Passive Service – Passive services are those things that the submissive

allows to be done to them for the pleasure or benefit of others, such as flogging, sexual use, or body painting.

 Independence – To what level does the submissive desire to act on their own,

without the direct instruction of the dominant?

 Selflessness – To what degree does pleasing or benefitting others motivate them?

These factors are used to determine:

1. Whether you are compatible in a D/s relationship, and whether training is likely to result in a strong, positive relationship.

2. The training approach that is most likely to yield success.

What Is Conditioning? (Behavioral Learning)

Conditioning is a behavioral process whereby a response becomes more frequent or more predictable in a given environment as a result of reinforcement, with

reinforcement typically being a stimulus or reward for a desired response.

Conditioning is a form of learning in which either (1) a given stimulus (or signal) becomes increasingly effective in evoking a response or (2) a response occurs with increasing regularity in a well-specified and stable environment.

Classical Conditioning

Classical conditioning modifies the respondent

patterns of the submissive by associating two

unrelated sensations/stimuli so that both illicit

Operant Conditioning

Operant conditioning is the use of

consequences to modify the voluntary behavior

of the submissive by associating certain choices

and behavior with a defined set of

consequences.

(+R)

(-R)

(+P)

(+R)

Something is

GIVEN/

ADDED

Something is

TAKEN/

REMOVED

INCREASES

the likelihood

of behavior

being repeated

DECREASES

the likelihood

of behavior

being repeated

Reinforcement

is a consequence that encourages a specific behavior



Positive Reinforcement (Reward)

Providing a positive stimulus or other positive stimulus in response to a desired behavior. Ex: The submissive gets to have an orgasm if they keep the house clean.



Negative Reinforcement (Escape/Relief/Avoidance)

Removing an averse stimulus in response to a desired behavior. Ex: Removing the chastity device for the evening if they correctly cook the meal you request. This can result in either direct response training (Whenever they here the annoying noise, they do a specific action to make it stop) or in active avoidance, where they perform the desired behavior to avoid the negative stimulus altogether.

Punishment

is a consequence that discourages a specific behavior



Positive Punishment (Punishment)

Providing an averse stimulus in response to an undesired behavior. Ex: Shocking the submissive’s balls with a cattle prod when they speak out of turn.

(PS – I am not suggesting you do this)



Negative Punishment (Penalty)

Removing a positive stimulus in response to an undesired behavior. Ex: Taking away the submissive’s favorite sex toy when they forget to do the laundry.

REVIEW (BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT):

Extinction

(No, not that kind)

Operant Conditioning

Reinforcement

Increases Behavior

Punishment

Decreases Behavior

Postive

Negative

Postive

Negative

Reinforcement and Punishment Schedules

The consistency/regularity of the punishment or reward

 Ratio Schedule:

The reward or punishment occurs after a specific number of occurrences of the target behavior

o Continuous: The punishment or reward is administered every time the

behavior occurs.

Example: Vending Machine

o Fixed Ratio: The punishment or reward is administered every nth time the

behavior occurs.

Example: Car wash punch card. Your 10th _{wash is free!}

o Variable Ratio: The punishment or reward is administered, on average,

every nth time the behavior occurs, but not always exactly on the nth occurrence.

Example: Slot machine

 Interval Schedule:

The reward or punishment has a maximum frequency but is still conditional on behavior.

o Fixed Interval: A set amount of time must pass before a reward or

punishment will be administered after the previous reward or punishment. Example: Free coffee with purchase, limit one per customer per day.

o Variable Interval: An indeterminate amount of time passes between a

reward or punishment being administered, which is still conditional on behavior.

Differential Reinforcement (DR)

Differential Reinforcement (DR) is the next step up form

simple operant conditioning and schedules. It has two

important characteristics, first that it emphasizes positive

reinforcement over all others, and second that focuses on

behavior related to the target behavior as well.

DR works to achive:

1. A decrease in frequency of the target behavior (DRL)

2. The absence of the target behavior (DRO)

3. An increase in behaviors which prevent the target behavior (DRI)

4. The substitution of a preferred behavior (DRA)

Differential Reinforcement Chart Distributed At a Recent Teachers

Conference (Author unknown):

Process for Implementing a Training Program

2. Make a Plan and Write it Down

3. Share the Plan with the Submissive (At least some of it) 4. Implement the plan consistently and objectively

5. Observe, Collect Data, Document 6. Adjust Often

Potential Causes of Failure:

1. Ineffective Reinforcers - The reinforcers aren't reinforcing 2. Inconsistent delivery of reinforcers

3. The submissive is unable to engage in the alternative/desired behavior 4. The reinforcers were faded out too quickly

5. The reinforcers were faded out too slowly

6. "Generalization" to other environments/conditions was not promoted

A Few Last Things

Consider your Submissive’s level of experience Multiple partners and other life issues

Training Without a Dominant

Other Classes This Weekend On This (Or Similar) Topic:

Eric Pride – The Master/slave Lifestyle: How Does It Work – Friday 9:15am Sir Guy and Girl Karida – Power Exchange Relationships – Friday 10:45am

Master Obsidian and slave Namaste – TPE: Slavery in Real Life – Saturday 1:00pm Andrew Love – Guide to Effective Discipline – Sunday 9:45am

Helpful Links:

Mentoring, Self-Help and Submissive Exploration www.submissiveguide.com One of the most comprehensive submissive resource and support sites I’ve ever found. Great for un-partnered submissives who wish to better themselves without a dominant. Wikipedia:

Dominance and Submission

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domination_%26_submission_(BDSM) Submissives (BDSM) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submissive_(BDSM) Operant Conditioning http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning Classical Conditioning http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Classical_conditioning

Recommended Reading:

Abernathy, C. Training With Miss Abernathy: A Workbook for Erotic Slaves

and Their Owners, California: Greenery Press, 1998. ISBN 1890159077

(As well as the companion book: Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual) Easton, E & Hardy, JW. The New Bottoming Book. Greenery Press, 2003. ISBN

1890159352

Reilly, S. The Submissive Activity Book: Building Blocks To Better Service. New York: CreateSpace. 2008. ISBN 1440470499.

Rinella, J. Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships. Greenery Press, 2003. ISBN 1890159506

Warren, J. & Warren, L. The Loving Dominant, Greenery Press, 2008, ISBN 1890159727

DIRECT LINKS TO PURCHASE ALL OF THESE BOOKS ABOVE ARE AVAILABLE FROM THE “BOOKSHELF” PAGE AT

www.CrossCultureBDSM.com/Bookshelf

The information and theories represented in this handout and the accompanying presentation represents the work of many prominent behavioral theorists, including, but not limited to: Vladimir Bekhterev, Ivan Pavlov. Alan E. Kazdin, Albert Bandura, Sidney W. Bijou, Edwin Ray Guthrie, Richard J. Herrnstein, Clark L. Hull, Fred S. Keller, Neal E. Miller, Marsha M. Linehan, O. , obart Mowrer, Charles E. Osgood, Kenneth W. Spence, B.F. Skinner, Edward Lee Thorndike, Edward C. Tolman, Murray Sidman, John B. Watson, Ole Ivar Lovaas, Steven C. Hayes, Donald Baer, Dermot Barnes-Holmes