erotic role play: a guide for couples
violet blue™
Copyright © 2007 by Violet Blue™.
All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio or television reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording, or by information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher. Digitally published in the United States by Open Source Sex Digita: Digita Publications™, 1072 Folsom Street #229, San Francisco, CA, 94103, digitapub.com
"Bad Doggy" by Julia Moore was first published in "Sweet Life 2: Erotic Fantasies for Couples" from Cleis Press, 2003.
Digitally published in the United States. Cover design: Violet Blue
Cover photograph: Violet Blue Text design: Violet Blue
Logo art: Violet Blue First Edition.
ISBN: 978-0-9799019-5-9 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Contents
xi Introduction: Thrill Me
1 Adventures and Predicaments
Scenarios, Roles and Predicaments * How to Bring It Up * Get Started * Who, What, Where and How (Quiz) * Tips for Sex Toys
2 Roles and Scenarios
Who Are You? * Everyday Roles and Scenarios (a list) * Fantasy Roles (a list)
3 Erotica: Obscene Phone Call by Scott Wallace 4 Choosing a Role
Context * Active Roles * Ideas for Control Roles * Receptive Roles * Ideas for Receptive Roles * Opposite Sex Role Play * Cross Dressing How-To * Cross Dress Roles * Roles With Age Differences
5 Make A Scene
The Perfect Plan * Timing is Everything * The Main Event * Hot Locations * Role Play Room Makeovers * La Sexo Loca in Public
6 Erotica: Bad Doggy by Julia Moore 7 Get Motivated
Props * Role Play Party Favors (list: props and motivation)
8 Scenarios
Sex With a Stranger * Exhibitionism * Forced Sex and Sexual Punishment * Sexual Power * Youth * Gender Swap * Animal Sex
Introduction
Thrill Me
It started for me several years ago. Single, I got hooked on a late-night hospital TV drama and started fantasizing about a few of the
characters. Totally harmless adult female masturbation fantasies,
right? Not in a Nurse Betty kind of way, but just in my private fantasies, I allowed myself a bit of a schoolgirl's indulgence in my make-believe sexual fantasies. No one needed to know. Then one day while working the cash register at my job in a sex toy store, it happened. A very
attractive young man in scrubs came into the store (we were near a hospital) and purchased two dozen condoms. My hands were shaking as I rung up this gorgeous boy, my mind in overdrive, inappropriately imagining what he was going to do with these condoms. I hoped against hope he'd come back again, soon, but he never did.
And so began my erotic fascination with attractive men in scrubs. Because of this, I completely understood my next boyfriend's request that I dress up as a dominatrix and punish him for being a "bad boy." I had never done this sort of thing before, though I'd read about it, and I'll admit that being in charge really excited me. It also scared the hell out of me -- what on Earth was he expecting? What was I supposed to do in the "Mistress" role?
There was only one thing to do, and that was to dive in, head first. I purchased items I thought I could wear as his Mistress and still look like my stylish self. I invited him over at a certain time to meet the Mistress, and I sweated bullets for the last half hour before he arrived. When the doorbell rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin, but my corset was so tight that wasn't even possible. In fact, my corset was so tight I could hardly bend over to reach my knees. I actually couldn’t breathe. I
was practically hyperventilating! But when I opened the door and saw his face, the stars in his eyes, and he started to obey every command I made, I knew it was working. And it was thrilling to see that I could be the woman to make his fantasies come true. I was his fantasy, in the flesh.
This was fun for a while, until I wanted him to be my fantasy in the flesh, too. It never happened, but there was a lot of hot sex in the
meantime and I learned a lot of new ways turn on a lover. Years later, I would meet a man who wanted to play with many scenarios, and who wanted to be my fantasy man -- any fantasy I could cook up. Finally, I got my hot boy in scrubs.
Role-play is the new sexual frontier for many people, and is an ever-changing way to make hot sex hotter. Role-play is the magic ingredient in our sex lives that lets us have our cake and eat it, too -- we can
make our wettest, stickiest fantasies into reality in total safety and comfort. And it gives us permission to become our lover's number-one sexual fantasy.
You can be shy and role-play. If you feel silly, or think that dressing up for sex is cliché, you'll actually really love it when your lover displays his arousal for you, can't keep his hands off of you, when you pick up a feather duster to play "French maid." Hearts and flowers are nice, but us girls know that it's the naughty stuff underneath that will actually get us off. Using romance to fuel a fantasy is wonderful, though we all know we use it to set us free to enjoy sexual firsts, and our very active sexual fantasy lives. Sometimes it's nice to have a reason to get a little more wild and crazy in bed (or in the kitchen, or beyond), and to spice up sexual routine. You can role-play to any degree you feel
comfortable. Role-play thrills us by letting us make our fantasies come true, in a totally safe way.
This is the book I wished had been available when I first met a man who wanted to try something different than the same-old stuff. It provides the tools you need to navigate the world of roles, outfits, scenarios and fantasies. And it works -- I know because not only did I try the advice between these pages myself, but also while writing this book I sent the excerpts, exercises and quizzes to couples around the world that have agreed to be my "test bunnies" for sexual experiments. I listened to their feedback, and delighted at their results.
This book of role-playing is for everyone. For the sake of simplicity in describing the techniques I have written it from a female-male
heterosexual perspective. In truth this book is for everyone, and all genders and orientations are warmly welcome here.
So, find out how to talk about it -- and who, what, where and how you want to play in chapter 1. In chapter 2, read about a variety of roles and the naughty things they can do. Refine the power dynamics of your roles, get the 411 on gender and age differences in roles, and get even more ideas for who you want to be in chapter 3. Make a plan, figure out the element of surprise, pick the right location, and decide on an exciting event to happen in your interactions in chapter 4.
That's all great, but then what are you going to do once you start playing? Chapter 5 gives you motivations and suggestions for props and costumes to get you going. Chapter 6 spells out the number-one role-playing fantasies and gives every detail needed for making them come true. Find a wealth of reading and shopping resources in chapter 7. Add to all this, saucy stories to get you in the mood sprinkled
throughout the chapters. Play on!
Violet Blue 2007
Chapter 1
Adventures and Predicaments
Surely you've fantasized about a sexy scenario, such as a naughty doctor visit, pretending to be a stranger with your lover, or even an after-hours office seduction. If you or your lover has ever fantasized about pretending to be anything other than who you are in your daily, ordinary life, then you're ready for the world of erotic role-play
fantasies. You're not alone, as these are among the most popular fantasies shared by couples, period.
Erotic role-play is when you and your lover play roles and act out
sexual fantasies. Role-play makes hot sex even hotter, spices up your love life when it falls into a routine, and adds playfulness and
passionate intensity. When you try out fantasy scenarios, you're essentially playing a sexually explicit version of "make believe." Some couples use role-play occasionally for a little bit of kinky fun. Many others enjoy it as part of their regular sex lives, whether it's one reliably hot scenario, or a variety of roles and predicaments. Let the erotic fantasies you already have shape your fantasy role-play
scenarios.
Scenarios, Roles and Predicaments
In erotic role-play, a couple agrees on a scenario that sounds arousing, and plays around with the scenario in whatever ways turn them on the most. A scenario is simply an erotic encounter where one or both of you are behaving differently then usual. This means you are not
behaving in your typical sexual roles, and may include introducing an entirely new situation to your regular lovemaking routine. It can be as
simple as adding a different detail to certain sex acts, thus making them into scenarios. This detail might be a blindfold, a pair or
restraints, high heels or a business suit.
Simply adding a little something extra is great if you're nervous about role-play. Shy lovers who think being in character is more
nerve-wracking than arousing might prefer a single prop much more than the pressure of wearing an outfit and behaving differently. One of you will find one role or another more erotically interesting, and you might find that one person takes the lead in a particular scenario. For instance, at the mention of a school scenario he might say, "My suit looks like a teacher's outfit on me," indicating his interest in playing the teacher role.
Some fantasies that turn you on might be about roles such as police, firemen, schoolgirls, teachers or even roles taken form everyday
situations. Your fantasies might revolve around sexy uniforms. Do you both linger over the overly sexy uniforms at Halloween? Role-play would be when one or both of you put those uniforms on, and see where your lust leads you. How far you go with setting, costumes, props and character is up to you.
Most role-play fantasies will have dominance and submission themes, ranging from barely there to deciding that power play is the whole point of the sexual encounter. For instance, you might notice that one of you finds authority figures a turn-on, and the other one gets excited about being punished or ordered around.
It could be the idea of being caught, or catching someone in a
compromising position that does the trick -- this is a predicament. You might find catching your boyfriend sniffing your panties an exciting predicament, or your ideal predicament might be getting in trouble for not doing the dishes.
Taken further, a bad "boy" might get spanked for not doing his chores, or a sexy secretary might have to perform oral penance for not doing her boss' filing correctly. You may find that you want to live out scenes that are as realistic as possible, or are totally impossible (such as
space travel), or might even be dangerous if they were to happen in real life (such as "forced" sex).
There is no "right" way to role-play; you don't need to wear a costume, have fake accents, stay in character or play by anyone's rules except your own. But if wearing the perfect outfit makes it all that much hotter, or a fake French accent makes it funnier (and humor is a turn-on), then don’t hesitate to pull out all the stops.
How to Bring It Up
Often, role play is one person's idea, or one of you decide that you want to take your shared fantasies about that TV show with the
superheroes into the bedroom. Asking outright is always a good idea if you already have open sexual communication, but asking doesn't
always mean you'll be met with enthusiasm. Also, you might have some pretty specific ideas about what you want to do in your role-play scenario, and it might be hard enough just to get out the words, "I want to..."
Our role-playing fantasies come from different parts of ourselves, sometimes deep parts and sometimes not. When a couple shares these fantasies, they're being allowed into each other's private sexual worlds. Often, our role playing ideas come from private masturbation fantasies, so it's easy for the person doing the asking (or sharing) to feel vulnerable.
If it's not you doing the asking, be sympathetic about how revealing this is, and have a loving, supportive response. It's important to have trust when you talk about trying role-play, especially for the first time,
because one partner may not understand why the other one has these fantasies. If you have fears or doubts about where this is all coming from, ask. If you're the one bringing it up, tell your lover that this is a fun new sex toy for both of you to share, not a replacement or a fix for an unsatisfying situation.
Not everyone is going to feel vulnerable openly stating his or her role-playing adventures. Most couples will feel finally free to truly express themselves sexually and enjoy sharing playful fantasy sex as part of life's grand sexual buffet shared by two (or more). Being able to let your fantasies run wild together is an experience that makes your relationship strong, vibrant and alive.
Role play provides a unique intimacy that is incredibly arousing for many couples. People in long-term relationships will discover that
adding role play to their sexual routine opens up a whole new universe of satisfying sex, deep connection and renews their relationship's
energy. Pretending that you're strangers and meeting in a public place such as a hotel bar is one supercharged way to feel like you just met, all over again.
Asking for what you want in bed is scary, and meeting with shock, surprise, or distaste is even scarier. Mentally prepare yourself for the best reactions, and the worst. If you feel shy about a face-to-face conversation, begin with an email or text exchange, or a telephone conversation. Talking about role-play is also easier when you read a book (out loud or hand the juicy parts to your lover) that has elements of your role-play scenario in it. You can suggest that you enact the sexy details.
Another great way to introduce the idea is to watch movies together that contain your role play fantasy elements, and bring them up after the movie. You can say, "I really liked that scene with the nun. What did you think?" Also, you get the delight and arousal that comes from sharing your fantasy with your sweetie -- or watching their face as they watch (or read) your number one turn-on.
Get Started
Role play can be spontaneous and simple -- such as a dirty talk scenario -- or can be a detailed, carefully planned and negotiated event. It's up to you!
For your first role play encounter, start simple. See if playing around with verbalizing during sex is even for you; if it's not, then now you know. Role play doesn't have to involve talking, but many scenarios might require that you interact with your lover verbally during sex, so ease into it with a little dirty talk. Describe a setting or your clothing (imaginary, or what's actually happening). Tell your lover how you feel. Turn up the heat: tell the point of view of your character or role, such as "I'm a really angry police officer. I've had a really tough day, and your speeding ticket is the last thing I want to deal with. I want you to make it worth my while." Or you can even use your true feelings at that very moment to make your role play authentic, "I've never done this before. Will you show me how to pleasure you?"
You can describe (or exaggerate) what you're both currently doing, in the context of a role-play scenario. While having sex you can say, "As a patient, you're responding very well to this treatment. I'll need to perform a few tests. Lay down on your back. Now I'm examining your penis."
Pay careful attention to what your sweetie responds to. If he gets riled up (in a good way) when you call him a "naughty boy," and ask him how he's been naughty. Develop his perspective by egging him on and asking questions, and fit your persona into his erotic world.
Nervous about dirty talk? Practice on your own and talk dirty to a mirror. Don't worry about feeling silly; remember that he will be your captive audience and you can distract him with pleasure. Some people find that it's easier to start dirty talk face-to-face when they close their eyes. When you get talking, focus on describing details, such as the way the dog collar looks and how it feels on, and how the buckles look shiny in the light.
It's tough to role-play unless you know what role you're supposed to play. For example, if you're to play a police officer, it might be easier to come up with things to say during the "arrest" once you start
pretending to put on the handcuffs. One of you will be in the active role and can direct the scenario, though the less active person can give direction, too. Role-playing is just like acting (remember the school play?), and your role will give you clues about how to behave and what to say.
When you begin to take role play beyond dirty talk and start to add details, events for your scenario and costumes, it's important to make sure you're both clear about each other's expectations. He might want to be a male prostitute, hoping to be roughly arrested for being
sexually promiscuous by a sexy policewoman, while you may think he wants to romantically seduce an officer -- two very different
perspectives and outcomes.
Talk about it, and plan it. Talking about it won't ruin it or give it away, because you'll never know how the scenario will turn out, or how aroused you'll get once you start playing. But take steps to get the
outcome you really want by telling your lover specifically what turns you on the most in the scenario. You may find it helpful to write down your role play fantasies before talking, and some couples find that writing them down and sharing or exchanging their ideas make their role play experiences more rewarding.
Who, What, Where and How
Make two copies of the following multiple-choice questions, fill them out, and then exchange your hot homework. Check as many answers as you like, and feel free to fill in anything you feel is missing. In the next chapter you'll find a plethora of specific roles and scenarios, but it's important to have an idea of where you'd like to start. Feel free to fill these out again at a different time, or for new scenarios.
I'd like to be: * In charge * Helpless
* Someone who gets overpowered * A submissive that turns the tables * Equal
My ideal predicament includes: * Punishment
* Humiliation * Teasing
* Conflict with authority * Getting caught
* Being made to do something naughty * Sex!
In a scenario, I hope to: * Be sexually "used" by you
* Get spanked or whipped * Have my way with you * Spank or whip you
* Have you take total control in bed
* Call all the shots when it comes to sex The dirtiest sex act I'd like to try is:
* Oral sex * Doggie style * Anal sex * All tied up
* Kinky sex (specify)
I want our role-play to happen: * In the bedroom
* In our imaginations
* In public, such as a bar, restaurant, dance club * A different room in the house (specify)
* A hotel room * A sex club
Ideally, I'd like us to wear: * Uniforms, at least one of us * Regular clothes
* Clothing like our roles would wear * Realistic costumes
* Nothing! * Sexy lingerie
* Very fancy clothing * Bondage gear
* Fetish clothing
For me, the most important thing in the scenario will be: * Outfits (specify)
* Believability
* Being seen in public * Getting in your pants * Being in charge
* Your submission
* You fighting against me * Not being in control * You being forceful
* Having the tables turned on me (or you) * A particular sex act (specify)
* Spanking, whipping
* Sensory deprivation, such as blindfolding * Restraint
* Your fake French accent All of this makes me feel: * Nervous
* Incredibly turned on * Silly!
* Excited, but still unsure * Very close to you
* Like we're going to have a lot of fun The worst thing that could happen is: * One of us will chicken out
* We'll laugh too hard
* We'll have a clothing malfunction * We'll decide that we don't like it * It might be emotionally intense * I'll disappoint you (specify)
* We like it so much we do it again
* We give up and just have really hot sex instead * We really make each other's fantasies come true * The neighbors hear us/we frighten the pets
General Tips for Sex Toys
Like having basics like salt and oil in your kitchen, adventurous couples will want to have a few basic adult playthings on hand for general use. Especially if you're planning a role play adventure, which often requires a little improvisation for even the most well-moneyed and well-stocked pleasure seekers. Always get your toys from a
trusted seller, and do not pay too much. Shop around, and if you order online read the privacy policy carefully. Recommended toys to have on hand are:
* A vibrator good for internal and external use, with a variable speed. * A fingertip vibrator.
* Couples should have a vibrating cock ring, for clitoral stimulation during penis-vagina penetration (OMG, sex).
* Lubricant, without additives: avoid Nonoxynol-9, glycerin, artificial colors or flavors, and never use Anal Eze or numbing creams.
* Anal toys that are made especially for anal use. I recommend having at least one small butt plug made of silicone, which can be sterilized. * A blindfold for surprise, erotic massage, power play, or just to take the pressure off the dominant role.
* Restraints of good quality. Scarves are sexy, but can hurt, tighten accidentally or slip off. Get some decent cuffs or buckling bonds.
Chapter 2
Roles and Scenarios
Now it's time for the businessman to loosen his tie -- or straighten it to become a stern and exacting office manager. Deciding who you want to be with each other might come naturally from your everyday roles, or you may want to pull your fantasies from movies, TV, stories, your past, or your imagination. Your role might simply be inspired by the desire to use a ruler as a spanking implement, the twinge of
excitement you get from a pair of handcuffs, or thinking about the way your lover might look (or used to look) in army fatigues. Many couples have ideas that they've both been toying with all along, and just as many couples love to seek out new role-playing ideas to keep things fresh and exciting.
Feeling a bit odd or even silly when trying on your new sex role is part of the fun. That's all you're doing -- trying on a role for sex like you'd slip into a sexy nightie that you wouldn't wear to bed every night. It might seem strange to consider putting on an outrageous streetwalker outfit and crudely propositioning your own lover for sex; conversely, you'll find that any role you play will have an element that excites you somehow.
You may find that the quick and dirty, all-business way that street sex workers have sex makes a quickie with him all that more naughty and fun, and you can play up this element of the encounter to the fullest. Of course, if it sounds like a weird idea or you don't think you can pull off a role that your partner wants you to play, you don't have to do it.
But if you really want to try, you can think of a variation that's
might be too crude for you, but playing the part of a super-sensuous high class (and high-priced) call girl in a stunning hotel suite might just be the compromise that works.
Who Are You?
The world is your inspiration when you want to role play, and the only limits are your imagination. It doesn’t matter if you don’t look like the person or role you want to play, and you don't need to have the "ideal" body type, or anything else for that matter. What does matter is that the idea of playing the roles, despite physical differences, or even lack of props, excites you both. Plenty of people play movie stars, human animals and even space aliens and science fiction/fantasy creatures in the bedroom. All you need is two willing imaginations, a libido and a sense of erotic adventure.
Everyday Roles and Scenarios
Roles taken from daily life are the easiest to pull off because they are familiar, easy to research, and props or costumes are easily
improvised. These roles are easy to play without any extra detail other than a few spoken words. Are you wanton, willing, suggestive,
resistant, curious, shy or aggressive? Let the roles inspire you.
Yourself This can be who you are at home or at work, and works great in scenes where you encounter your lover as... someone else. If you're a student in real life, then you can be a student who has a sexual
encounter with a school nurse, a stranger, or anyone else you've fantasized about. Stay at home moms can tryst with "the repairman", and salesmen can fraternize with a slutty customer.
One of the most popular themes in role-playing fantasies are when you relive a moment from the past -- you can pretend to be yourself at any
age, but now you can crate any sexual outcome you desire.
What you can do as yourself: You'll react to any sexually interesting situation you find yourself in as… you would in real life. So if you find yourself being seduced by a lusty stranger, your "new boss" makes advances, or your gorgeous nurse has interesting techniques, just react as you might in real life (but with a permissive, and safe twist). Boss You can be a boss in a variety of scenarios; a foreman, office manager, coffee shop owner, corporate bigwig.
A boss might: Need to hire new help around the office, have to work late and keep the receptionist after hours, take bad secretaries to task, take liberties with the staff or take the afternoon off with the new
assistant.
Secretary Male and female secretaries can have a lot of fun with their boss, other secretaries, and delivery personnel.
Secretaries excel at: Taking notes and dictation, filing things in the bottom drawer, admitting to mistakes, seeing to all the boss' needs, protesting about fetching coffee, helping with presentations, staying late and doing anything necessary to get a raise.
Doctor Nurses and patients always seem to need administering to, and treatments may vary.
Doctors can: Give exams, probe a patient's history, run tests, take
samples, administer treatment, and/or find out what's under the nurse's uniform.
Nurse Assisting doctors can require late hours, and patients always need attention.
Nurses are great at: Exams and treatments, sponge baths,
temperature-taking, applying and removing bandages, assisting the doctor and helping patients recover.
Patient When you're sick or injured, you should see a doctor or nurse. When you're a patient: Doctors and nurses can help you, dress your wounds, bandage you, take a physical, find out what ails you, and relieve tension. Here, "co-pay" takes on a whole new meaning. Police/Detective Officers come in contact with a variety of people, including criminals, innocent speeders, sex workers, corporate
criminals, hackers, femme fatales, sergeants, other officers and regular people.
When you have a badge you can: Shake down sex workers and criminals, arrest people, question suspects, capture criminals, give tickets -- and give options for immediate payment.
Firefighter They spend a lot of close time with other firefighters, but also save damsels (and gentlemen) in distress.
A firefighter might: Rush into danger to save someone, carry you to safety in their arms, get trapped with someone and become horny, wash fire trucks and get really wet, and sneak into someone else's bunk after lights out.
Military Close quarters with other soldiers is suggestive, and they may also have encounters with superior officers or civilians.
Speaking of bunks after lights out, military service people can also: Follow orders, drop and give twenty, save civilians, enjoy shore leave (and visitation), and entertain officers in inventive ways.
Repair/Delivery Personnel It's s cliché, but it's awfully fun to have your honey knock on the front door to "deliver a package" or fix the sink. A repair or delivery person can: Arrive unexpectedly and catch
someone in their nightie, ask for payment or tips in sexual favors, have a quickie with whoever's home.
School Personnel Janitors, school nurses, teachers, headmasters, principals, coaches and security guards all have to have fun, too. When you "work at a school" you might: Catch students masturbating or undressing in the locker room, punish students for not doing
homework, be seduced by slutty students, teach the "birds and bees" in unconventional ways.
Student Can be a younger or older student depending on the scenario, and jocks have locker-room fantasies to choose among.
Students can: Behave badly, be a teacher's pet, be slutty or prim, do naughty things in locker rooms and under desks, do erotic tasks for extra credit, seduce hapless teachers, molest other students, tryst in cars and have an awful lot of fun with babysitters.
Sex Worker Streetwalker, hustler, call girl, male stripper, peep show dancer, private show worker and phone sex operators can fraternize with clients, officers or each other.
When you trade sex for money, you might: Fool around with other sex workers, get out of going to jail, let clients take liberties, go all the way with a client, strip, put on a masturbation show, break your "rules" for kissing, oral sex, etc., and have quickies in cars, public places or hotel rooms.
Pimp Can have scenes with sex workers (novices to pros) and officers. A pimp can: Break in a new girl (or boy), convince someone to be a "ho", have run-ins with the law.
Stranger This role can be played anywhere, anytime and is incredibly versatile. You simply pretend not to know each other, and can play yourselves, or one can play someone different.
A stranger might: Proposition or hit on you, be forceful or inappropriate, be romantic and daring, have hot sex with you in a hotel room or in public, and get to know you in a room full of strangers.
Salesman Selling cars, shoes, lingerie -- you name it, it's tough work, especially when your clients are irresistible.
In sales, someone can: Help customers try things on, especially in a dressing room where they can undress, convince clients about what they need, take clients into back rooms for sex.
Fantasy Roles
When your role is someone you can't possibly be in real life, it's a fantasy role. These roles can be enjoyed by any couple with
imagination and playfulness, and can be made even more realistic with props, costumes and locations. These roles are especially fun because they take us far away from the ordinary. Like an erotic fantasy vacation for two!
Celebrity Do you want to be President, a rock star, famous writer, actor or model? No problem!
Celebrities can be (or be seduced by): fans, groupies, agents, directors, makeup personnel, drivers or a lover as themselves; backstage, onstage, in the dressing room, at a bar or party, in their really nice mansion, on a casting couch or after an interview.
Hero Saving someone is daring and romantic, especially if they're sexy. Spandex is optional.
Heroes can: Save someone, be seduced by an evil villain/ess, get captured and tortured, invite someone sexy to their stronghold, have an erotic encounter on a rooftop, capture and give someone truth serum for information and teach the forces of evil a lesson.
Priest/Nun A very taboo fantasy involves people of the faith, who may fall from grace with each other or parishioners.
stranger's confession, giving in to impulses for other priests or nuns, attempt to convert unbelievers, seek solace from others, and may need to go to confession themselves.
Cheerleader/Quarterback Roles form the past, or roles you'd wished you'd been in the past are thrilling to create. Cheerleaders might do it with jocks, nerds and coaches, while jocks might fool around with cheerleaders, nerds and babysitters.
These fun icons can: Play hard to get, be slutty, pretend it's the first time, do it in cars or under bleachers, fool around in the locker room, get caught showering, get caught watching someone showering, do it in a rush in case someone comes home, have someone show them how to do something dirty.
Human Animal/Pet Human pets might be dogs, puppies, cats, kittens, ponies, horses, sheep and exotic animals.
Human animals can: Mate with each other and sometimes with owners, get trained, perform tricks or duties, show obedience or willfulness, get punished, fed, groomed (ready for a show), and get washed.
Alien Scary and malevolent or curious about humans, aliens always have interesting interactions with humanoids, robots, astronauts and other aliens.
An alien from another planet would have fun: Mating with humans, doing experiments on humans, being taught how humans enjoy physical pleasure, using sex robots for relief on long interplanetary rides, taking humans as sex slaves, having encounters with attractive human astronauts.
Robot/Human Mannequin Get all images of Kim Cattrall's dismal performance in Mannequin out of your head, and open yourself up to the possibilities of human interactions.
Robots and human mannequins can: Pose provocatively, be
programmed for sexual services, and get sexually used in any position while remaining totally still.
Evil Villian/Villianess Wicked, devious and just plain bad, playing the villain has lots of fun erotic possibilities, especially when you encounter other nefarious evil-doers, heroes, innocent bystanders and prominent figures that require kidnapping.
Evildoers can: Kidnap and hold heiresses and rich prominent figures, torture people for information, seduce heroes, steal diamonds and
death rays, have a harem, invite innocents to the castle/secret lair for a few drinks.
Cowboy/Cowgirl The range gets lonely, and you might need to partner up with another cowpoke, a bandit, Pony Express rider or city slicker. Cowpokes love to: Share a sleeping bag by a campfire, roll in the hay, have quickies at the rodeo, rustle doggies, save people in gunfights and visit Wild West brothels.
Burglar Whether you're a petty pickpocket or a legendary jewel thief, you're bound to have run-ins with security guards, homeowners, officers, heroes, detectives and other thieves.
Thieves can: Surprise sleeping homeowners, get caught by security or unsuspecting housewives in lingerie, fail to evade a detective or officer, get discovered and have their identity revealed, and have to trade sex for escape.
Thug/Mafia Watch The Sopranos or Goodfellas enough times and you'll start having Mob fantasies. You might be a big Don, a low-rent hoodlum, strong-arm or hit man, with a variety of possibilities in whom you encounter including showgirls, your Mob counterparts and
innocent bystanders.
want; shake down other thugs for cash or negotiate escape from a hit on someone's life.
Roles from TV Did you ever watch Gilligan's Island and hope that The Professor got together with Ginger? Now's your chance to create a reality show too hot for TV.
Take your pick of roles and scenarios, such as: Kirk/Spock and an alien girl, the cast of Deadwood, Spike and Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gomez and Morticia from The Addams Family, Deanna Troy and Data from The Next Generation, Batman and Catwoman…
Fantasy Creature Now you can be something completely different -- and mate with humans or other far-out creatures. Take a page from mythology and become a beast, get inspiration from your favorite sci-fi show or book, or act out cartoon character fantasies.
A fantasy creature might: have to inspect every inch of the other
creature's (or human's) body, have erotic reactions, and need to mate. Pirate Rich with adventure (especially the sexual kind), a pirate's life takes them into the arms of much claimed, stolen and purchased booty.
It's a pirate's life for you if you want to: Cavort with other pirates, wenches, fair maidens and anyone else you please; take over ships and seize their women/men, take your pleasure during shore leave. Queen/King Royalty has its perks. The royal family members must get their sexual needs met somehow, whether with each other,
chambermaids, brave knights, citizens, rulers of other countries or prisoners begging for clemency.
Royalty can: Get served by gorgeous servants in their chambers, steal away to meet with forbidden lovers, get to know other royalty in exotic locales, let knights show their gratitude, be worshipped from head to
toe and have decadent, debauched sexual escapades. They can also totally afford to throw an impulse orgy at the palace if they feel like it. Slave/Servant When you're owned or under domestic service, you can tryst with your master/mistress, his or her friends, or your fellow slaves/ servants.
Servants (maids, butlers) and slaves can: Erotically do their master's bidding, clean something incorrectly for punishment, visit their master after hours in the bedchambers, give massages and relieve tension in all manner of ways, have quickies in the pantry, be taken while
Chapter 3: Erotica
Obscene Phone Call
by Scott Wallace
"Hello," I say, not knowing what I'm getting into.
"Hi, who's this?" you say. I recognize your voice, which is why it takes me a minute to answer.
"The name's Carl."
"That's a sexy name. I'm Lexie. How old are you, Carl?" "You know how old I am," I say.
You giggle, a giggle that tells me I'm not getting off that easy. Or, maybe, that I'm not getting off that hard. "No, Carl, I don't know how old you are. But I don't really care, either. What do you look like?" "Um....just a second, okay?"
"All right."
I put on the portable headset, take the phone into the living room, and stretch out on the couch.
"You there?"
"Ummmmmmm....Okay. Um, Six-one, blue eyes. Long dark hair," I say, running my fingers through my strawberry-blonde crew cut. "Kind of a tall, dark Fabio look."
"Wow," you say. "Sounds hot. What are you wearing?"
I slip my hands down past the stretched-out waistband of my sweats and adjust my cock, which is getting hard. As silly as this game is, the fact that you've just called me up to play it with no preliminaries has started to turn me on. I clear my throat.
"I'm not wearing much anything," I say. "Um, Lexie."
"Mmmmm," you sigh. "I'm not wearing much either. Just this little tank top I wear when I'm hanging around the house. You can totally see my tits through it. My nipples are all hard. I'm not wearing any underwear, either. I'm real wet. That's why I called you."
"What do you look like?"
"Five-one, long blonde hair, blue eyes, thirty-six double-D."
My head spins as I remember the last time I felt your body against mine, felt your five-eight, thirty-four B body, ran my fingers through your close-cropped dark hair and looked into your green eyes. I smile. "You shave your pussy, Lexie?"
"Yeah, I shave my pussy," you say. "I like it all clean. Want to know a secret?"
"When I've just shaved my pussy I can feel my cunt rubbing against my underwear.
"You don't say."
"That is," you add almost as an afterthought, "when I wear any. Which isn't often. I like to go out all nasty without panties. You know, wear tight jeans or a short skirt with nothing underneath when I go dancing. All shaved and open. And wet. I'm always wet when I go without
underwear."
"I like that," I say. "You go dancing a lot?"
"Yeah," you say. "My boyfriend doesn't know, but I go dancing and sometimes I get all nasty."
"Nasty how?" I ask.
"Nasty with my girlfriends. We make out on the dance floor. That's why I don't wear any underwear when I go dancing. Makes it easier if my girlfriends and I get all worked up and have to, you know, go into the bathroom stall."
"No kidding."
"Does that make your dick hard, Carl?" you ask in a breathy whisper. "Yeah," I say, putting my hand down my pants and finding that it has, which I already pretty much knew.
"Mmmm. Just telling you about it is making my pussy wet," you tell me. "Do you have a nice big cock, Carl?"
"Yeah," I say, stroking it slowly, feeling the head rub against my sweat pants.
"Is it nice and long? How long is it, Carl?"
"Ten and a half inches," I say, wondering just how many inches I've just added. I make a mental note to bring a ruler on our next date. "Fuck," you say. "I love big cocks. Ten and a half is so fucking big, Carl. I would love to suck your cock. Is it nice and fat?"
"Yeah," I say, stroking it. "Ten and a half inches and real fat."
"Fuck," you say. "I would so love to suck that. I wish you were here so I could slide my lips all up and down it. Slide it into my mouth and down my throat. Mmmmmm. Would you like that, Carl? Put your ten-and-a-half-inch cock all down my throat, Carl?"
"Yeah," I say. "I'd love that."
"What would you do if I gagged on it?" you ask, breathless, moaning. "I'd just shove it down harder," I say. "I'd make you swallow it."
"Oh, yeah, fuck, yeah," you moan. "Get all nasty with me. Tell me how you'd make me suck your cock."
I have to grope for the words, which I guess is appropriate. "I'd, ah, I'd grab your hair and force your face down on it."
You let out an explosive sigh. "Fuck yeah," you groan. "Shove it down my throat. Fucking make me suck it, Carl, fuck my throat, oh, fuck. What else would you do?"
"Um," I say. "Slap your face with it."
"Oh fuck yeah," you say. "Slap my face with your cock?"
"Um." I'm about to say, "I guess." I stop myself just in time. "Fuck yeah. Slap your fucking face with my cock," I say, then, meekly, as an add-on, "bitch."
"Oh god, yeah," you say. "So fucking hot. Make me suck it." "Suck my cock, bitch."
"Fuck yeah, Carl. Say it." "Bitch. Suck my cock, bitch."
"Fuck, Carl, you're making me so fucking wet. I love sucking your cock. I always swallow, Carl, you want to make me swallow, or you want to fuck my pussy? I'm rubbing my pussy, Carl, are you rubbing your cock?"
I am. "Yeah, I'm rubbing my cock."
"Fuck. That's so hot. Are you close to shooting your load for me, Carl?" "Yeah," I say, pumping my cock. "I'm close to cumming." I can't help but think in my mind that this kind of cumming is spelled with a "u," something I always thought was stupid until now.
"I always fucking swallow cum, Carl, when I suck cock. Do you want to make me swallow your cum or do you want to fuck this wet pussy? My wet, shaved fucking pussy is so fucking shaved and wet for you, it's
wet. Do you want to fuck it?"
"Um," I say. "Fuck no. I want to fuck you in the ass."
I hear your groan and know I've hit upon a nerve. "Oh fuck, Carl, fuck no, Carl, I'm so tight back there, Carl, your big fat fucking ten-and-a-half-inch cock is too big for me, Carl, you can't possibly--"
"Shut up," I growl. "Bend over. Spread your fucking cheeks, bitch." "But what if it's too big?" you moan.
"You better lick it and get it all slick," I growl. "I'm going to, um, I'm, um, going to fucking shove it right up your ass. Um. Bitch!"
"Oh God, Carl, it's too big, oh, baby, I'm parting my cheeks, I'm
spreading them open, oh, I'm so tight back there, baby, are you going to put it in? Shove it in my ass?"
"Yeah," I moan. "I'm grabbing your fucking cheeks and pulling them open and I'm fucking shoving, fucking shoving it, shoving my cock in your ass."
"Oh, fuck, Carl, it hurts so bad but I'm cumming. Oh I'm fucking cumming Carl with your cock in my ass--"
And then you do, the uncontrolled sounds of your moans matching the ones I heard just last night when I did exactly what we're talking about -- minus the "bitch," plus the lube. "Fuck my ass!" you moan in the middle of your orgasm.
"Yeah," I whimper. "I'm fucking your fucking ass, fuck, fuck fucking your ass--" And then I come, hard, staining the front of my sweat pants
as I listen to you finishing your orgasm on the other side of the phone. I pump my cock until it's empty and the front of my sweat pants is
soaked. I let out a sigh.
"Oh, God, Carl," you moan. "You fucked my ass so good. So good, Carl...."
"Thanks," I say.
"It's a simple fact," you coo. "No need to thank me." "When are you coming over?" I ask.
"I was too horny to make the drive," you tell me. "Thanks for taking care of that. See you in half an hour?"
"I saved you some Chinese food," I say. "Lemon chicken?"
"Kung Pao tofu. And potstickers."
"Oh, fuck, Carl," you croon. "You know what I want. You know what I need."
"Don't forget to get gas," I say.
"Don't forget to get hard again," you tell me. "Oh, I won't."
Chapter 4
Choosing a Role
Now you have an idea of who you want to be in your kinky sex play, and a few ideas about your delightfully wicked sexual motivations. But how are you going to make your roles work, without feeling dorky or having your office sex scenario turn into a dud?
Sex play with roles or desired actions requires context. As in, sure he's playing a cop, but what is he doing as a cop? Context for your roles means that circumstances and events create the support for your role. A man can play the repairman, but he's just going to fix the sink and leave unless the housewife reveals that she's too broke to pay the bill -- putting the repairman in a position of power.
Developing your roles and giving them context gives your encounter meaning. A spanking is ordinary (or even silly) if you just do it. But it can be ultra-erotic when you make it a punishment, and someone makes it happen because someone else behaved badly. Then the whole thing turns you both on to the point of embarrassment, and
beyond, until the one in charge has to take control. That's context, and in role-playing sex, it's absolutely divine.
An outfit or a particular piece of clothing may be all you two need to get your motors running into overdrive. But then what happens? One of you has to do something with that object or uniform, and done right, you'll both have a hot, memorable encounter.
Context
varying degrees. One person takes the lead, takes control, acts, calls the shots, initiates the sex play, or is in control of everything. The recipient receives the action, follows the leader, lets the other person make the decisions about what happens first (or next), is submissive, or watches the scene unfold.
When you let the other person take control, you are not necessarily submissive. When you make a decision about what you both will do next, you are not necessarily the dominant. But for some people, being in a submissive role is a turn-on, while others will find that taking
charge gives them an erotic charge.
Role-reversal makes for riveting adventures, creating a scene where one starts out as a submissive but turns the tables on an authority figure -- or someone in charge winds up in a helpless situation. You have a choice about who has power when it comes to role-play. You can establish power roles and keep them throughout the scenario, or you can agree on a dramatic event in your role-play where the tables are turned, and the submissive (playing a momentarily submissive role) becomes dominant.
For instance, let's say a man loves being dominant but knows he wants a spanking, yet he doesn't like being in a submissive role. He can be a stern teacher to his girlfriend's naughty schoolgirl role, and she defies his authority to gives him what he's got coming. And it's about time!
Active Roles
Being in control means you're in charge, to whatever degree suits you the best. You may find yourself drawn to just being in charge of the sexual interaction, calling the shots step-by-step, a little or a lot. You might be attracted to the position of a full-on dominant who likes verbal and psychological control, telling your lover to perform for you, rub your
feet, give you head, or just bend over. This mode of dominance, without pain or physical punishment, lends itself easily to character-driven role play, where you play boss to a secretary, teacher to student, corporal to cadet, blogger to a journalist, and so on.
And to put being in control into context for sex play, you have a variety of personas, roles and guises to choose from. The scenes can be steamy and complex when you play authority or older figures that demand compromising and sexual favors from whoever's in the submissive role. Imagine the possibilities of dominatrix and businessman, manager and employee, lawyer and blogger.
Does the title Master or Mistress suit you? Your persona may revolve around more than the role you play, especially if you find the idea of erotic punishment exciting. In this role you'll treat your submissive as owned property, give them pain, use punishment as a behavioral tool, and you'll be the absolute authority in role-playing scenes. If you're a newcomer in this role, you'll want to learn techniques for bondage and discipline, rope and whip skills, and further study into negotiation and scene dynamics (see the resources chapter for books and videos).
Ideas for Control Roles
Yourself (in daily life or role at work), master, mistress, dominatrix, millionaire, sex worker client, sex worker, teacher, headmistress, general, femme fatale, criminal mastermind, corporate CEO, police, FBI, kidnapper, jailer, animal trainer, doctor, nurse, sleazy
pornographer, boss or manager, judge, babysitter, politician, VC, IT, older sibling, daddy or mommy, biker, football captain, coach, pimp, clergy, rock star, producer.
Would you feel more comfortable -- or more turned on -- when
someone else calls the shots? When you want to give someone else control, there are lots of roles that'll ignite your desires. Being in a submissive role doesn’t mean you have to be a masochist. You might get a thrill out of being a love slave, providing anything from foot rubs to oral sex, and more. You could be the silent handmaiden
administering to his or her every need, in any costume or role you like, or you can be a sex toy that gets used and discarded. That is, until you're needed for further use.
You can be a slave in the literal sense, ever-obedient in collar and slave attire, or you can be subtly owned; "forced" to go without panties or boxers in public, while in private you become your sweetie's
serviceable love doll in garters and lace (or nothing at all).
Of course, being in the receiving role lends itself especially well to erotic punishment. So if a receiving well-deserved spanking, a lavish erotic whipping, or a down and dirty forced sex scene turns you on, this is definitely the type of role for you.
Make sure you know exactly what it is you physically want to have happen to you before you begin. Be clear that you want a caning, clothespins, spanking, being pushed around, a riding crop or your hairbrush. Be equally clear about what you don't want, such as no face-slapping, harsh words, whips, hot wax, or anything else you don’t want -- this way, everyone's happy!
If you play with pain, make sure you have a safe word or agreed-upon signal that says, "stop." I recommend that you avoid falling back on the word "no" and save it for playful protest! Use a word or signal that is out of the ordinary, and when someone uses it, simply switch activities. Popular choices are stoplight colors: red (for stop now), yellow (for less, please) and green (for more).
Don’t let the classic stereotypes limit your imagination! You don't have to be bad to get the spanking you deserve, and you don't have to be a slave to become their living sex toy. Just as submissive roles lend themselves easily to spankings, punishments, humiliations, whippings and more, dominant roles that become submissive (such as the
haughty librarian being spanked) make for red-hot fantasies.
Ideas for Receptive Roles
Slave, submissive (as yourself or your real-life work role), secretary, employee, maid, butler, schoolgirl/boy, criminal, cheerleader, retail slave, Fox News anchor, nurse, victim, patient, military subordinate, prostitute, sex worker client, masseuse, altar boy/girl, housewife,
website admin, unsuspecting husband, groupie, "innocent" passer-by, human pet (pony, dog, cat), opposite gender.
Role-Playing the Opposite Sex
Have you ever wondered what it was like to have sex as the opposite gender? Or maybe just trying something new, such as a guy wanting to squeeze his erection into your panties, or if you put on his boxers and a white undershirt, just for sex play. Having sex while in the clothes, or adopting the mannerisms, of the other gender is hot, hot, hot.
Probably everyone has tried something like this at one time or another, and most have wondered what it's like to switch roles, whether a little or a lot. For some, trying these ideas with a lover is one of their
number-one fantasies.
Playing around with gender might be something you've contemplated once or twice, as a fun new idea. It could be a fantasy that is so
emotional "home" -- familiar, reliable and sublime. Gender play can be as light and simple as a him wearing your lipstick, or as intense as a you undergoing a full transformation to effectively pass as a man, with no makeup, strap-on dildo and men's clothes.
Don’t worry -- playing with gender is what you make it. For some, gender play is frightening, identity challenging, and uncomfortable. Others don't see it that way at all, because for most it's another playful sex game to share with an adventurous lover. Meanwhile, others
embrace the challenges to their sexual identity, allowing gender
transformations to shape their sexual identities into configurations that are much more comfortable for them than their original manifestations. Just because you both think Eddie Izzard is sexy doesn’t mean your sexual identity is going to change. A hot bout of sex while he wears your lipstick doesn’t mean he'll have to wear the lipstick every time you want hot sex. Wearing the clothing and adopting the mannerisms of the opposite sex does not make you into the opposite sex, doesn’t make you a transsexual or transgender, will not make you gay or lesbian, or change who you are attracted to, or how you sexually identify.
It will also not show you (or your lover) what it's really like to be the opposite sex. Again, it does not mean you are transsexual or
transgender, though for those individuals it might be the first step toward feeling comfortable with who they really are.
If your lover wants to cross-dress for sex, and it's a new idea that takes you by surprise, suspend your judgment and ask them what turns them on about it. And be sure to find out how you can heighten the
experience for them. You might find that "playing lesbian" with your boyfriend -- or sex play as two gay men -- is a total turn-on. If the idea upsets you, tell them as gently as you can and explain why, if possible.
Remember that this was a scary thing for them to ask for. It may be that you've always wanted to see them dress and treat you as a lesbian might. But if you're asking him to wear your panties, keep in mind that your request may be confusing to him as well. He might
wonder if you want to simply sleep with a woman, which is not the case at all. Light gender play isn't the wish to be or become something
you're not; it's to have the best of both worlds in your bed.
Cross Dressing How-To's
Dressing for gender play is all about what's hot for you -- you might want to "go all the way" or you might want to play around with in-between measures, like boys in skirts and eyeliner, but no other feminine signifiers. Same goes for you; he might get hard thinking about you in his clothes, but a strap-on might be going too far (or vice-versa: some men like girls in strap-ons as long as they remain
distinctly feminine). How about a strap-on, lipstick and heels?
Gender play for you might include a man's uniform, male sports outfit, business suit, tool belt, a biker outfit, jeans and wife-beater t-shirt, his underwear, or any attire that is considered masculine and sexy.
Makeup can be light, none, or heavy depending on how you're playing (simple lipstick is common); add slicked-back hair, suspenders, men's underwear, stuffed jock strap, tie and hat, dress shoes or boots.
For realistic details, false facial hair can be worn, you can be braless, or your breasts can be bound down with an Ace bandage, and a strap-on can be worn. For a realistic bulge, get a good quality harness and a dildo that is either suitable for "packing" (a softie), or a firmer model to be used for penetration or receiving fellatio. Ask yourself, is your strap-on for sexual functistrap-on, or gender play, or both?
He can wear your panties, a bra, stretchy slip, and foundation wear such as corsets, stockings, lingerie. Your shoes won't fit, but high heels can certainly be found in larger sizes. Yes, it's unfair how tall he is in heels. He can try skirts, dresses, gowns, wigs, makeup, lipstick, eyeliner, barrettes, false eyelashes, anything that sounds erotically appealing and that will complete the experience.
For realism, he can add perfume, lotions, nail polish, even shaving his underarms and legs, in addition to the technique of "tucking" the penis and testicles flat to the body to minimize the bulge (though for some guys the bulge under his skirt is a huge turn-on). Bras can be stuffed with whatever's handy, or prosthesis can be purchased.
You can create any type of role-playing scene you like, combining characters and gender in any way the turns you on. Or, gender play can be a sexual "punishment," where one partner is mock-forced into drag. Also, one of you can be "caught" trying on lipstick, boxer shorts, or anything else that sounds fun. Be playful and imaginative in your scenarios.
Cross Dress Roles
You (as yourselves) trying lipstick (or getting caught trying something that belongs to the other), or any gender-appropriate roles that
heighten the effect you're trying to achieve. For instance, if he's cross-dressing, he can be a maid, schoolgirl, housewife, nurse, nun -- you name it, as long as it's feminine. You can play as yourself to his feminine role; or the role's counterpart, such as a butler, man of the house, repairman, construction worker, doctor, pool boy, etc. Or you can choose a masculine role while he plays himself, situations perfect for mock man-on-man play between the two of you.
Naughty schoolgirls, anyone? Hey, it's a cliché for a good reason. Sex play with age differences is a very common fantasy, and it's pretty much predictable anywhere in the world to walk into a strip club and see dancers dressed in adult schoolgirl attire. Age difference roles are fun for adults because they allow us to play around with sexual
initiation fantasies.
He can pretend to be a young inexperienced man, while you are the woman that "shows him how." Or, you're the naughty vixen who drives her male teacher over the brink with sexual frustration. You can even both play younger roles, where you both are sexually inexperienced and explore each other's bodies as if for the first time.
Age play fantasies can be misunderstood. It's a fantasy whose roots may be disturbing for people who confuse fantasy with reality. Role-playing where one partner is much younger than the other does not mean that either person actually, truly eroticizes young people. Those who molest children, do so. Criminals do not have anything to do with people who ask their girlfriends to pretend to be the older, sexually experienced babysitter, or women who dress in school uniforms to play act with their boyfriends. And that stripper in plaid has to be old enough to work at the club.
Sometimes these fantasies can, however, bring up powerful issues for the consenting adults who enjoy them. While playing "daddy's little girl" you might afterward feel uncomfortable with the associations,
memories of past abuse, or personal meanings the fantasy brings up. Sexual fantasies are powerful because their roots in our subconscious and the oft-mysterious working of our libido.
If you find that your age (or gender) role play scenarios wake up
steps toward sexual healing in Staci Haines' book Healing Sex.
Most people are just fine with the hot results from age play scenarios. Pretending to be inexperienced youth opposite experienced older
lovers can be a turn-on like no other. Here are some ideas for age play roles and scenes:
Young roles allow us to be coy, innocent, bratty, curious, naughty, in need of discipline, protection or tenderness. Boys and girls get
spanked, groomed, dressed up (or undressed), taught the facts of life, are seduced by older figures such as teachers, babysitters, strangers, friend's moms or dads. Or even more taboo is to play family members, authority figures or clergy. They get to be "taken care of," and the
feeling of not having to be in control is a blissful and incredibly arousing release from daily responsibilities for many.
Playing older roles to your "younger" lover is a delightfully dirty way to lavish attention on your sweetie, and appeals to the naughty authority figure in all of us. Playing the seducer (though occasionally the one seduced or overtaken), the role allows you to be the "experienced" one, giving erotic instruction, calling the shots, and enjoying the make-believe of exploring an unfamiliar body. The scene may be intense, heated and unbelievably arousing, or can verge on hilarity as your lover claims to have "never done that before!"
Chapter 5
Make A Scene
Role play is one of the most flexible, creative ways to spice up your sex life, and make an already-burning love life into an inferno. You can plan out an elaborate scenario, or keep it simple and straightforward. Props are fun, but not necessary. Planning is a good idea, yet
spontaneity is still the rule of the day when you're in role. What's
essential in planning and role-play is knowing where you want it to go, and deciding how to get there. Because you can pretend to play nurse and patient, fall out of role when you crack up after he asks for a
sponge bath, yet still wind up tearing each other's clothes off for an orgasmic finish. All you need is a good strategy for starting the scene.
The Perfect Plan
One dependable way of getting started is with imaginative dirty talk -- no costumes or babysitters are necessary for some hot talk between the sheets. But there is a whole world of sexual expression and
adventure around the corner when you add detail, events and
surprises. That stripper fantasy will be even hotter with a purchase of a red vinyl bustier, and his eyes will pop out of his head when you set your room up as a stage with a lap dance area. Better yet, that
Halloween military uniform will be much more effective if you have a pair of handcuffs, and the experience will be unforgettable if you "take him down" on the hood of his car -- even if it's in your garage.
Get a really good idea of what you both want, if possible. Once you've made your fantasies and expectations clear to each other, and covered what both of you don't want to include, you'll have more of an idea of what to wear, what "event" might happen in your scenario, and what
the location will be. This way, you can plan on what to get ahead of time and get creative about setting up the atmosphere.
Timing is Everything
Determine a date and time, with room allowing the fantasy to run for at least an hour. You'll want plenty of time for the fantasy to play itself out and be able to enjoy taking your time. You'll intentionally want to make it go slow and last as long as possible, so your scene will be effective and have a lasting impression.
Make sure there will be no interruptions; that your roommates are definitely away, the kids are gone, and turn off your phone. You don't want any distractions or interruptions to derail your fantasy, and no one wants to risk having to explain their private sex lives to anyone.
If your fantasy might get loud, perhaps with yelling, loud music, or the sound of spanking or whipping, be sure to close your windows and doors, that the neighbors are out, or have a cover story ready in case someone "checks in" on you. Give yourself plenty of time to relax afterward as well.
Stock your "play" area with plenty of water, sex toys, lube, towels and props. Have snacks and tasty beverages waiting afterward as well -- if your scene is successful it'll feel good to recharge, and if things don't go as planned, you'll have some nourishment to help you both center and regroup.
Surprise scenes should be planned out carefully, and your lover should always have some kind of idea about what's coming. What if you deck your apartment out like the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, apply your vampire makeup, and they come home upset and exhausted from an awful day at work? Let them know you want to plan a fantasy surprise,
and give them an indication of which role-play scenario you have in mind.
Ask your lover what kind of time frame they have available for a sexy romp, but tell them you want it to ultimately remain a surprise. Give a few examples, such as Wednesday, Thursday or Friday evening. It's also okay to give an assigned date and time to come over, or arrive at a certain place -- in fact, you can erotically "command" them! Tell your sweetie to meet you at a certain café, in their business suit for a
surprise job interview. Then adjourn to your "office." Make an ordinary meeting into a special evening when you ask them to come over for the evening, but that you think you need a "pizza delivery." Some surprise scenes will take very careful negotiation, especially if they involve something in public, force or implied threat, or other people.
The Main Event
One of the most important things you'll want to decide about ahead of time is what the "event" will be in your interaction with your lover. You can have props or be totally naked, in a rented castle or your bathtub, but it's what happens that counts. The event is the turning point in your scene or communication that changes everything. Chances are good that you already know what this event is, and that's why you picked up this book -- to make it happen, or to make it more intense.
If the location of your role play is what's hot, such as when you have a public or semi-public scene, the event occurs when you show up. If your turn-on is role play in uniform, then the event is when you get dressed, the ritual of dressing and being watched (or assisted), when you see each other, or when you undress.
* Getting caught doing something forbidden * Acting sassy
* Failing to do a chore or follow instructions
* A punishment for a transgression that never occurred
For power-over or sexual coercion scenes, events can include: * Talking your way out of something
* Offering sex in exchange for goods or services * Sex for a coveted job or career advance
* Getting out of punishments or jail time * Bribery
* Surrendering passwords * Settling a bill on the spot
Other events can be psychological, such as:
* A learning experience, where one person asks for sexual instruction, or is convinced they need it
* Capture
* Getting picked up by a stranger * Slavery
* Embarrassment
* Part of routine examinations
* Petting, grooming and playing with (as in human animal role-play) * Being the "special" groupie
* Doing something so taboo it's silent and secret
Hot Locations
Don't get all dressed up and have nowhere to go! Even if you're only going to the living room, or staying in your bedroom, you can make it an exotic and erotic environment that reflects your scenario. Get
