Passare and Funeral Directors Life Insurance Company ( FDLIC )
How-to Plan Your Funeral
eBook #11
If you are like most people, you prefer to think about funerals only when you attend one. Thinking about your mortality may not be easy, yet one of the most thoughtful things you can do for your loved ones is to plan ahead for your own funeral. You can’t prevent the grief they may experience after your death, but you can eliminate most of the worry that may occur when loved ones must plan a funeral.
There is no time like the present to consider this important part of your family’s future, so why not begin planning today? Just as you are there for your loved ones in life, you can also be there for them in death. Planning your funeral is an incomparable gift only you can give. It is a final act of love for those you care about most.
As part of our eBook series, PassareTM shares our recommendations for how to plan
your funeral.
You Will Learn About:
The eBook includes:
Estimated Time Required:
1. Why Plan Ahead? 2. Questions to Consider 3. Main Elements of a Funeral
4. Ceremony or Service Options to Consider 5. How-to Personalize Your Funeral
6. Personalization Options
7. How-to Choose Your Final Resting Place 8. How-to Create Your Funeral Plan
9. How-to Finance Your Funeral Plan
A. Funeral Planning Checklist
B. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
30 minutes
How-to Plan Your Funeral – eBook #11
Planning for the Future
Why Plan Ahead?
The most important reasons to plan your own funeral include:
1. Who will be affected by your death?
2. What is your budget? Is pre-payment the right choice for you? 3. Do you want to personalize the service?
Take a few minutes to answer these questions.
A funeral service, like a wedding or the birth of a child, is an important life passage that you typically have only one chance to make as special and personal as possible. A well-planned funeral is a commemoration honoring a life well lived.
• Family and loved ones - your funeral plan relieves your loved ones from having to make complicated decisions at one of the most challenging time in their lives. Planning ahead allows you to include family in your final decisions if you choose.
• Financial savings - your funeral plan reduces emotional overspending that may occur when loved ones are experiencing grief. A pre-paid plan allows you to freeze funeral service costs at today’s prices, and protects your family from the rising costs of funeral services and products.
• Future planning - your funeral plan is transferrable if you move or change providers later.
• Personal control - planning your funeral allows you to design a service to reflect your unique personality, so your loved ones may remember you as you wish.
• Peace of mind - your funeral plan ensures that your wishes are documented and will be carried out upon your death.
Main Elements of a Funeral
Ceremony or Service Options to Consider
A funeral service is about honoring the loved one whose life has ended, and providing comfort and support to those who remain.
Specific ceremony or service options to consider include:
Each phase of the funeral ritual is an important part of your loved one’s journey toward recovery and healing. There are three elements of a funeral experience:
• Ceremony or Service: A ceremony helps honor the loved one who has died and helps others understand the reality of the death. Including the appropriate religious or spiritual elements often offers hope to the grieving family and helps in the search for meaning.
• Procession: A procession to the graveside is a strong symbol of unity, support, and acknowledgement that something important has occurred. It helps families transition from the funeral to the graveside together and accept the finality of the loved one’s death.
• Public or Private Gathering: After the graveside or committal service, there is often an informal gathering, sometimes called a wake, where friends and family continue to share memories, express their condolences, and share comfort and support with each other.
• Traditional funeral service • Graveside or committal service • Memorial service
• Traditional funeral service followed by cremation • Direct burial
• Direct cremation
• Home funerals or home burials • Green burials
Traditional Funeral Service
Graveside or Committal Service
A funeral is an important End-of-Life event that should reflect the unique personality of the deceased loved one. Funerals give us a time and place to grieve so that we may begin to heal and adjust to life without our loved one. They allow friends and extended family to show their love, concern, and support for each other in tangible, meaningful ways.
A graveside or committal service is a funeral service that is held at a gravesite or at a mausoleum in a cemetery. Like a traditional service, it provides a final opportunity for mourners to honor and say goodbye to their deceased loved one. A speaker often leads and concludes the service by sharing final thoughts.
A traditional funeral service often begins with the loved one’s remains being carried in a casket.
A traditional funeral service often has these characteristics:
During the service, family and friends remember and honor the life of their loved one in special ways. They may say prayers, deliver eulogies, read passages from scripture or literature or sing songs.
After the service, the procession takes place and mourners join together to accompany their deceased loved one’s casket to a cemetery for a burial or committal service, or a crematory for cremation. The procession is a symbol of the mourners’ support for one another and a public honoring of the deceased loved one.
• Held within a few days of the death
• Held with the deceased love one present in a casket
• Held in a funeral home, religious place of worship, or a chapel at the cemetery • Held before a cremation or burial
• May incorporate a procession to the burial site immediately following the service • May include an open casket visitation of the loved one’s remains prior to the
Characteristics of a graveside service usually include:
A memorial service usually includes these elements: • Held within a few days of the death
• Held at a gravesite, mausoleum, crypt, or columbarium at a cemetery
• The loved one’s remains are usually not present
• Burial or cremation takes place before a memorial service
• The service may be held at a funeral chapel, religious place of worship, reception hall, or any location of personal significance
Memorial Service
Traditional Funeral Followed by Cremation
A memorial service is most commonly held after burial or cremation. Memorial services may be held several days to up to a year after the disposition of the deceased loved one. A memorial service is often held when direct burial or direct cremation is selected in place of a funeral.
This service option includes all of the elements of a traditional funeral except that cremation is the means of final disposition. An open casket visitation may still be held prior to a funeral, and a procession for a final committal may follow the service. However, when the services are completed, the deceased loved one’s remains are directed to a crematorium versus a grave for burial. The cremated remains are placed in an urn (that is provided by the family) and given to the family. Cremated remains may be buried, placed in a columbarium, kept at home, or scattered at a later time.
• May follow a traditional funeral, precede a memorial service, or be a unique, separate event
Direct Burial
Direct Cremation
Home Funerals and Home Burials
This service option is one of the simplest because there is no formal funeral or committal service. The loved one is buried shortly after death, with no viewing or visitation, so embalming is not necessary. A memorial service may be held later at a gravesite, church, funeral home, or other location chosen by the family.
Funerals may also be held at home. Home funerals, sometimes called ‘home burials’ are increasing in frequency. For many families, this is a more intimate, economical, environmentally friendly, and personal way to honor a deceased loved one.
A home funeral is often conducted in consultation with a funeral director, and may include these elements:
With cremation, there is typically no formal funeral or committal service. With direct cremation, a funeral director may oversee the cremation of your loved one’s remains and then return the cremated remains to the family.
Important Note: Selecting a permanent marker is often overlooked. If you choose cremation, a permanent marker is still an important part of the healing process for your loved ones.
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• Preparing and dressing your deceased loved one’s remains • Wrapping your deceased loved one’s remains in a shroud • Placing your loved one’s remains in a casket
• Hosting the service at home
• Transporting the deceased loved one’s remains to the burial site • Preparing the burial site and grave
• Installing a headstone or grave marker • Securing necessary permits
Green Burials
Anatomical Gift or Donation to Medical Science
Green burials are an earth-conscious alternative to cremation and traditional burial practices. Many families choose a green burial because it is considered to be the most environmentally safe disposition option. Green or natural burials ensure that the burial site remains as natural as possible in all respects. Interment of the deceased love one is done in a biodegradable casket, shroud, or a favorite blanket.
Until recently, green burials were not an option. Today, green or natural burials help preserve open spaces throughout the US. Choosing a natural burial site for you, family, or even pets may promote growth of natural shrubs and a return of wildlife to the area. After a green burial, loved ones often choose to plant native trees, shrubs, and flowers in a loved one’s honor to promote habitat restoration. Green burials are often less expensive than traditional burial and cremation practices.
After the medical community has completed its study, the deceased loved one is cremated and the remains are returned to the family. If you choose this option, it is important to plan ahead and put your specific wishes in writing. You may also wish to provide instructions for your cremated remains and choose a permanent marker. You may arrange to donate your remains to medical centers or to schools for scientific study.
1. Where would you like your final services to be held, for example, in your place of worship, at a cemetery, or in the home of a loved one?
2. Do you want to donate your remains to a hospital or school for medical or scientific study?
How-to Personalize Your Funeral
Public or Private Viewing Before the Funeral Service
Incorporating a Gathering of Friends and Family After
Graveside or Committal Services
No two funerals are alike. You can personalize a funeral within your budget in the way that you want yourself or your loved one to be remembered.
Today, there are more ways to personalize funeral services than ever before. You may now choose creative and personal ways to make your funeral service unique to help your loved ones honor your own life, or that of a deceased love one.
A viewing or visitation is a gathering of friends or family before the funeral service. The viewing occurs with the deceased loved one present. Many grief experts believe that a viewing may help surviving loved ones to acknowledge the reality of the death and that it is an important step in the healing process. While it is a personal choice, remember that a viewing may become a significant event in a mourner’s grief recovery process.
After the committal service, there is often a gathering of friends and family to continue to share memories and express their condolences about their deceased loved one. This event becomes a time of gratitude and celebration for a life well lived. Families may share a meal, watch slideshows, and share personal anecdotes and memorabilia. The family emerges from the gathering with a sense of hopefulness and a knowledge that life will continue, even following their loved one’s death.
Important Note: Be sure to communicate your final wishes for your funeral to your loved ones, and/or funeral service provider. Put them in writing, in your will for example, so that they will be carried out upon your death. Often, funeral decisions are made before a will can be located and implemented.
Personal Touches That Honor Your Deceased Loved One
Personalization Options
Families may choose to include memorabilia, pictures, art objects, or hobby
items at events. Technology-driven elements, such as photo slideshows and videos, as well as favorite music, may also be part of the service. There are many other options that may be added according to what you choose for yourself or your loved one. Personalization helps you and your family to honor your deceased loved one in a special way.
Personalization options for your funeral may include: • Music, songs, poems, letters, prayers, or readings • Food served at the gathering or wake
• Religious preferences or symbols
• Speakers, officiate(s), pallbearers, or attendees • Special clothing that mourners wear in tribute • Flowers or greenery
• Balloon, dove or butterfly release • DVDs
• Slideshows
• Special location for the tribute • Green funeral options
• Military salute or specific recognition for veterans • Fraternal or lodge rites for association members • Donations to specific charity
1. How do you want to personalize the service you choose? 2. In what specific ways will you want to make the service a reflection of your values, your life or personality, or that of your loved one?
3. Have you put your final wishes for personalizing your funeral in writing and communicated its location to a loved one?
Take a few minutes to answer these questions.
How-to Choose Your Final Resting Place
For your family and friends, there is finality in putting their loved one’s remains to rest. This event provides closure and gives loved ones a place to return to remember the deceased and search for further meaning.
Although burial and cremation are the most common and traditional choices for final disposition of a loved one’s remains, there are many other options. If you do not have a specific choice in mind for yourself, try to imagine where or how loved ones might best express their remembrance and love for you or a deceased loved one. There is a growing trend toward creative and inspiring final disposition options:
• Scattering or burying cremated remains at sea • Sending all or part of cremated remains into space • Transforming remains into works of art or jewelry
• Transforming remains into living reefs that support ocean ecosystems • Donating remains to medical science
Physical Memorials, Markers and Headstones
Whether you choose to be buried, cremated, or select another option, a permanent memorial, marker, or headstone helps give loved ones a place to go and an opportunity to remember their loved one for generations to come. Choose an option that might help loved ones best express their remembrance and love for you or your deceased
A funeral plan is a written record of your final wishes for your End-of-Life event. A funeral plan may include specific services and merchandise choices, as well as preferences for personalizing the ceremony. A copy of the funeral plan is usually stored at a funeral home, in a safe deposit box, or a home safe. A funeral plan may or may not be paid for in advance.
Your funeral plan should clearly state the location of important documents such as your will, life insurance policies, birth certificates, marriage license, military records, and credit obligations. Your plan should also contain important biographical
information for the obituary notice.
In addition, your funeral plan should include your funeral service preferences as well as include your preference for flowers, music, readings, speakers, attendees, or even the type of casket you’d like.
Due to the recent trend of cremation, selecting a permanent marker is sometimes overlooked. If you choose cremation, remember that selecting a permanent marker is still an important part of the healing process for your loved ones. Other options for choosing a physical permanent marker include:
How-to Create Your Funeral Plan
• A plaque at the scattering site
• An tree planted above a biodegradable urn • A memorial garden
• A memorial fund to help others in need • A virtual memorial in the form of a website
There are several ways to create your funeral plan: • Write your wishes into your will or a formal contract • State your wishes in a voice or video recording • Contact your preferred funeral home for assistance
1. Have you made final decisions about your funeral service, including burial, cremation and other preferences?
2. Will you create your funeral plan using a funeral planning guide, contacting a funeral service provider, documenting your choices in a will, or stating your preferences in a recording? 3. Which important End-of-Life documents do you need to include with your funeral plan?
4. Have you discussed your funeral plan with your loved ones or service provider(s)?
Take a few minutes to answer these questions.
How-to Finance Your Funeral
Rising costs are part of the world in which we live. No matter how uncertain the future may be, one thing we know for certain is that prices for today’s services will increase tomorrow.
A pre-planned, pre-paid funeral service is one investment you can make for your family’s future. It spares your family from a considerable financial burden during one of life’s most challenging events. Many families are unable to fund the cost of a funeral in the short amount of time following a death, and funeral services often will not proceed until final payment is made.
Benefits of Pre-Funding Your Funeral
Pre-funding your funeral arrangements can be a smart financial decision, and
provide great peace of mind to your loved ones. Paying for your funeral in advance allows you to:
• Evaluate information and make informed decisions free of emotional stress and pressure
Understanding Cash Advance Items
There are often items associated with a funeral that require immediate payment called cash advance items. These items include out-of-pocket charges that are incurred at the time of death from third-party providers in addition to the funeral home. You can spare your family from the burden of paying for these out-of-pocket
expenses by making arrangements in your pre-paid funeral contract. Some examples of cash advance items include:
• Death certificates
• Obituary and death notice fees • Clergy honorariums
• Vocalist or musician honorariums • Clothing or jewelry
• Police escort • Flowers
• Gravesite opening and closing
• Easily transfer your plan if you relocate
• Determine if you should select a funeral insurance plan or a funeral trust
• Cemetery and crematory charges • State or cremation permits • Monument or marker
• Luncheon or reception catering • Outside facility rental
• Transportation expenses for death away from home • Travel/hotel expenses
• Secure your funeral plan at today’s prices and protect your family from rising funeral costs
Other Helpful Resources
For more information and help in planning and paying for your funeral or that of a loved one, review these resources:
View our Funeral Planning Checklist and Frequently Asked Questions sections in this eBook, or go to www.passare.com for more help planning your funeral.
• For Social Security Income & Burial Fund information:
http://www.ssa.gov/ssi/spotlights/spot-burial-funds.htm
• For Special Lump Sum Social Security Death Benefit information:
http://www.ssa.gov/survivorplan/ifyou7.htm
• For Social Security Survivor’s Benefit Fact Sheet:
http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10084.pdf
• For Medicaid information:
http://www.medicare.gov/your-medicare-costs/help-paying-costs/ medicaid/medicaid.html
1. What is your funeral budget?
2. Is pre-payment using a funeral trust or funeral insurance the right choice to help pay your funeral costs?
Take a few minutes to answer these questions.
Plan Today Like There’s No Tomorrow
We may not know what the future holds. However, you can make a big difference in your life and your loved ones’ lives by planning ahead today. Planning your funeral ensures financial and emotional comfort for both you and your loved ones. You can achieve peace of mind knowing that your final wishes will be followed and that you have identified how you want to be remembered, without adding expense or worry American author Stanley H. Judd once wrote, “A good plan is like a road map: it shows the final destinations and the best way to get there.”
Funeral Planning Checklist
To plan your funeral, we suggest you consider this list of actions:
Choose the type of service(s), event(s), and other preferences
Decide if you would like other funeral events to be held:
Graveside service or a service at the crematory, followed by
burial or cremation
Funeral service, followed by burial or cremation
Memorial service after burial or cremation
Home funeral service and/or burial
Green or non-traditional funeral service
Anatomical gift or donation
Viewing or visitation before my funeral
Reception, wake, or gathering after my funeral or memorial
Observe my religion’s mourning event or ceremony
Identify personal options you may want to include:
Funeral or memorial service location choice; include a
second choice
Choose your final resting place options:
Person to officiate at funeral or memorial service; include
second choice
Pallbearers, speakers, assistants, and attendees
Prayers, poems, or other readings
Songs, hymns, or type of music to be played
Physical or virtual memorials, like a marker, headstone, or
website tribute
Memorial donations to one or more specific charity organizations
Notifications or invitations to specific people to attend my funeral
or memorial service
Burial in a preferred cemetery, private property, or other location
Scattering of ashes in preferred location, like at sea, on private
property, or in a memorial garden
Notifications to specific groups, organizations, or clubs,
including veterans groups, alumni associations, or sports or
hobby clubs
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. What kinds of funeral options exist?
2. What does pre-planning a funeral mean?
3. How much do funerals cost?
• Pre-payment options - funeral trusts or funeral insurance plans.
• Ceremony or service type - traditional funeral, graveside,
or committal service, direct burial or cremation, memorial or
home funeral services, or non-traditional services like green
funeral options.
• Personalization options - casket, flowers, music, scripture or
poetry reading selections, religious symbols, technology options
like videos or slideshows, and catering for gatherings or memorials.
• Final resting place options - burial or cremation, or non-traditional
options like transforming your remains into art or jewelry.
• Physical or virtual memorial options - plaques, headstones,
memorial funds, or website tributes.
Pre-planning means planning a funeral before death occurs. Without
a funeral plan, the details of your funeral are left to family members
who may have no notice or time to plan this important End-of-Life
event. Pre-planning provides you and your family with peace of mind
that options are considered, decisions made and wishes honored.
According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the
average funeral today can exceed $7,000. Funeral costs vary depending
on the region and state where you live, and the type of services,
events and products you choose.
4. What are my payment options?
5. If I choose to pre-plan and/or pre-pay, what happens if
I move?
You may choose to pre-fund your funeral with funeral insurance or
a funeral trust to freeze today’s prices and protect your family from
tomorrow’s rising funeral costs. Payment plans are available. You may
also choose to pre-fund your funeral with private resources, like a
payable on death account reserved for funeral costs that is not subject
to probate. Life insurance benefits are also commonly used to cover
funeral costs. It is important to note that unless specified by a
pre-paid funeral contract, funeral costs will not be locked in and will
rise with inflation over time.
Your pre-planning preferences may be transferred at any time. If
you are traveling outside your area when death occurs, your loved ones
should contact the funeral service provider you chose immediately;
they may help with necessary transfer arrangements. If you choose to
transfer your pre-paid funeral contract to another funeral home, you
should contact the insurance company or trust manager that issued
your policy, annuity, or trust account. If your original funeral provider
guaranteed the cost of the funeral, your new funeral provider is not
bound by the guarantee, yet may choose to honor it. If the policy is
current and has not lapsed, any amount that has been paid into the
account by the policyholder or purchaser will be transferred to the
new funeral home. Policy growth will be transferred according to the
laws of the originating state.
6. How do I start planning my funeral?
Contact a local funeral service provider to discuss your options at
www.passare.com and then click on Resources, Service Providers. A
funeral planning professional can assist you by helping you understand
all your options. You may also choose to write your final wishes into
7. What if I change my mind about my funeral plan?
8. What if I have more questions on other End-of-Life issues?
You may adapt plans to meet your changing needs or wishes anytime.
If you use a funeral service provider, remember that funeral homes
focus on service to families. They should respect your wishes at all
times and strive to meet any special needs and requests from you and
your family, whether planning ahead or at the time of need. You may
adapt plans to meet your changing needs or desires. If you need to
cancel a pre-funded plan, note that refunding pre-paid plans depends
on the laws in your state and the type of pre-paid policy or contract
you own. Ask your local funeral director or prearrangement specialist
to explain how refunds are handled for your particular pre-need contract.
If you have more questions, go to:
www.passare.com
for a comprehensive
collection of End-of-Life planning and information.
your will, state your preferences in a video or voice recording, or use
a funeral planning guide to plan yourself. Go to www.passare.com for
more help and information.
From birth to death, life is a series of passages. Passare provides an online service that connects people to trusted End-of-Life Management experts and resources.
Funeral Directors Life Insurance Company (FDLIC) is a legal-reserve life insurance company that specializes in providing prepaid funeral insurance products and services. FDLIC’s mission is to be known as the best, most respected provider of service the funeral industry.
With Passare, you can explore, plan and prepare for End-of-Life
Management, simplifying the process while honoring ensuring the specific needs and wishes of you and your family. Passare gives you control over one of life’s most important passages. www.passare.com
