The
Girlfriend
Training
Program
The Reference Guide -
Master Class Sessions
VOLUME 1
David Shade - Choosing Wisely
Hi guys, this is David Shade and I am honored that Carlos asked me to contribute to this program and Iʼm honored to be speaking to you. My specialty is in the area of I call “service after the sale”. That includes being a masterful lover, giving women wild screaming orgasms, pushing a
womanʼs envelope of sexuality, fulfilling all of a womanʼs needs and making a woman wildly happy. I teach my material in the context of long-term relationships, but much of this knowledge can be applied in the
context of short-term relationships and even in pickup. You could apply as you see fit.
What I am going to be speaking about today is how to make a long-term relationship successful. Iʼm going to touch on a number of things, but Iʼm going to concentrate on the single most important thing you must do to ensure that it will be successful. And that single most important thing you must do is you absolutely must select a woman who is capable of a
successful relationship. Really, is that all?
Let me put it this way, if you get that wrong nothing is going to work, period. You will be frustrated and defeated beyond belief. It may have already happened to you and you probably didnʼt even know you were doomed before the relationship even began. Believe me, I never knew this stuff. I thought if she was hot and we got along and the sex was good,
And when a relationship goes bad, itʼs always a total surprise to the man. It seems the man is the last to know. Sure, itʼs not very sexy to talk about selecting the right woman. Itʼs not as fun as talking about how to give her wild screaming orgasms or talking about pickup, but it is absolutely the most important thing in making a long-term relationship successful. Simply put, success begins by choosing wisely.
And as I reveal why, you will discover so many things about women, and about why your previous relationships went like they did and how to make your future relationships truly successful and exciting.
Basically, itʼs about being fulfilled as a man. Is that valuable to you? Of course it is. So stick with me here. So why would you need to know this stuff? Because simply, there are some women who can do it and some who canʼt. If you choose one who is not capable, nothing is going to work. It is doomed to failure. If you choose one who is capable you have a
chance.
Now why do I say that some women are capable and some are not? Letʼs take some examples. I will illustrate two extreme examples. You probably know some women who are total drama queens. They are never happy. They go from relationship to relationship. They always complain. They can never meet a good man. Theyʼre just a complete wreck. Or worse, they go in and out of a relationship with one man. Even though her relationship with him is full of drama, she keeps going back to him.
You have probably known someone like that. You were probably frustrated with the fact that she keeps going back to that jerk who treats her bad, but she ignores you even though you are nice her. It sucks. Itʼs frustrating. It makes absolutely no sense. At least until you understand why she is behaving that way.
The truth is that those women wouldnʼt know a good relationship if they were in one. In fact, they wouldnʼt know a good man if they met one. Even if theyʼve gone into a relationship with a good man, they would screw it up. They create drama. Why would they create drama? The answer to this is the key to it all. Drama is the only thing she knows. Her entire life has been drama. Itʼs the only way she knows how to be. Drama was the only coping mechanism she learned.
Basically, she believes she deserves drama. Yes, you heard that right. She grew up knowing drama and now she became what she believes she deserves. Think about that word deserve, it is key. You see, people donʼt get what they want. People get what they honestly and truly believe they deserve. It is called a sense of deservedness. It is formed in childhood and it lasts a lifetime. Now here is the really screwy part. Even if she got into a relationship with a good man and everything was nice and
harmonious, she would not believe she deserves it. Itʼs true, and thus she would sabotage it. She really would.
Now letʼs take the opposite end of the spectrum. Think of some couples you know who are truly happy and fulfilled. Their relationship is
harmonious and successful. Maybe you know a woman who is in marriage that is successful. She is happy and fulfilled. You know that no matter how good someoneʼs pickup game maybe, it is totally ineffective on her. Sheʼs not going anywhere.
Have you noticed that she is a woman who has her stuff together? She is confident and capable and believes in herself. You may have also noticed that she doesnʼt respond to being-treated with any kind of disrespect. She doesnʼt put up with anybodyʼs bullshit. In fact, she pretty much ignores people who donʼt treat her with respect. Those people donʼt even exist in her world. The reason for this again goes back to deservedness.
How does it in this case? Itʼs like this, when she was a child, she grew up in a home that was harmonious. Her parents were a good example for a relationship. Her mother was a good role model for a woman and she had a very close relationship with her loving supportive father. It is that
relationship with her father that is the most important. With her father, she learned how to have a functional emotional relationship with men. She learned that it is normal and natural to be loved by a man and to have healthy emotions with men and to be able to trust a man. Basically, itʼs what she knows and thus itʼs what she believes she deserves.
So she only finds men who treat her with respect, and when she found a really good one, she married him. Now, look back on your own previous relationships. Look at how each of them ended and then look at how she was raised. Did she have parents who were good role models? Was her father loving and supportive? Or were her parents a wreck? Was her mother a drama queen? Was her father abusive or absent or a raging alcoholic? Think about it. Do you see a correlation?
Are you starting to understand that the failure of the relationship had less to do about what you did in the relationship and more to do about your selection in a woman? Certainly, that is true for the drama queens, but what about the really good women?
When you look back, can you identify some of the women in your past who is having a good sense of deservedness? If you would found a really good one, but the relationship ended, it wasnʼt that you selected wrong. It would have been one of a million other reasons. Now, you would think that to make a good woman happy, you would treat her nicely. It makes sense because you know sheʼs a woman who believes she deserves to be treated nicely. Actually she does deserve to be treated nicely, but the mistake that most men make is not realizing that she actually believes she deserves to be treated with respect.
Respect and nice are two completely different things. Most men try to be nice to the point of being suffocating and ass kissing.
Those are disingenuous, and to be disingenuous is to be disrespectful. So basically, all too many men suffer from nice guy-itis. Whether itʼs with a good woman or a drama queen, men tend to be what we call nice guys. Itʼs what social programming taught us, but social programming has done us an injustice by not telling us the whole truth, and nice guys bore women, all women, both the drama queens and the really good ones.
This is most clearly illustrated by comparing the classic nice guy against the classic bad boy. In doing this, we can further understand the true desires of women by observing how women respond to the various men in her life.
First letʼs talk about the bad boy.
• Bad boys are confident. Confidence in a man is very alluring to a woman.
• Bad boys are masculine. The feminine in a woman is attracted to the masculine in a man. And with a bad boy it is extreme. It is this contrast that is so alluring to a woman that makes her feel sexy and feminine.
• Bad boys are fearless with women. He will move her by being sweet and gentlemanly while she is drawn to his masculine confidence. • Bad boys lead an exciting life. They are daring and live on the edge.
Women want to be a part of it to make their own life more exciting. • Bad boys are mysterious. They have a dark side that women are
• Bad boys cannot be tamed. Women are nurturing creatures and are thus compelled to save him. Sheʼs determined to rescue him by teaching him how to love.
• Bad boys are protective. Women donʼt want to admit it, but women love to feel protected.
• Bad boys are sexually exciting. For a woman, the sex is awesome with a bad boy. Heʼs dominant. He talks dirty to her. He makes her do things sheʼs too inhibited to do, and she loves it. It makes her feel sexual. It is extremely exciting for a woman to experience those intense sexual feelings.
• Bad boys are addictive. She becomes so wrapped up in her
experience that she realizes she needs it, and the bad boy knows it.
Once she becomes addicted, the bad side of the bad boy comes out. • Bad boys are selfish. He inconsiderately takes and takes and she
gladly gives and gives, even more in order to keep him because she is addicted to the exciting sex.
• Bad boys are secretive. She begins to notice things he is keeping from her, things about his dark side that would be self-incriminating. • Bad boys make promises of fidelity and then deny their indiscretions.
When she learns she is cheated, she is devastated. But she needs it so she works even harder to save him.
• Bad boys are paranoid. He knows that other men do exactly the same thing, thus she is very possessive of his woman. He becomes
• Bad boys are apron-hugging mamaʼs boys. His frequent visits to his mother and his needs for her motherʼs approval supersede his
womanʼs needs.
• Bad boys tend to marry a traditional woman but only have sex with her to procreate. He only gets hard core sexual with his mistress because bad boys have the Madonna Whore complex.
Most every highly sexual woman has been with a bad boy at least once in her life. This is true for both the really good women and the drama
queens. Eventually, the really good woman realizes that she is being disrespected and she leaves him. It is probably the most emotionally traumatic thing she will ever do. It is heart-wrenching for her because she has become so addicted to the awesome sex.
After a woman has been through the roller coaster ride with a bad boy, she will forever avoid inconsiderate jerks, but she will always crave those
intense sexual feelings, those feelings of being uber feminine, of being possessed and dominated, of being out of control passionate. Let me repeat, she will always crave those intense sexual feelings.
The bad boy falls into the category of chauvinists with the machismo of thugs, bullies, and jerks. They command respect through intimidation.
Now, letʼs talk about the nice guy. The classic nice guy falls into the
category of cowards with wimps, doormats, and spineless marshmallows. They do not command any respect. The classic nice guy makes her feel appreciated and he is able to establish a kind of basic superficial emotional connection with her. Unfortunately, though, heʼs boring or his not
masculine, so she doesnʼt feel sexy and doesnʼt feel turned on about sex. She would love to marry him because heʼd be perfect for a family, but for some reason she keeps delaying the engagement. Itʼs because he doesnʼt make her feel like a sexual creature. He never generates any sexual
tension.
Has a woman ever cried on your shoulder as she suffers through the extreme emotional highs and lows of a relationship with a bad boy lover? That no matter how nice you are to her, she has no interest in being sexual with you. Hereʼs why, the highest selling category of all books is the
romance novel, why? Because for women, sexuality is mental. For men sexuality is visual, and thus while men look at porn, women read 400-page romance novels.
For women itʼs all about the powerful emotions and intense sexual
feelings. Itʼs like crack cocaine, they canʼt get enough. It is in their very DNA. They were born addicted. The plot of all romance novels is the same. The hero in the romance novel is a bad boy. Of course, he is powerful and masculine and wild. He creates sexual tension in everything he does. No woman has been able to tame him, but then the heroine
comes along. She draws the bad boy in with her beauty. All women want their men to be drawn to their beauty.
The first critical point in the novel is when the bad boy admires the courage and confidence of the woman. All women want their men to adore her courage and confidence. Then he saw it. Or in other words, he learns to admire her for her true deep qualities. And then the most critical part of the novel is when the woman tames the bad boy. Or in other words, she turns him into a nice guy while not losing the attractive aspects of his
bad-boyness. Get it?
This is true for all women, both the really good ones and the drama
queens. No, not all women regularly read romance novels. For one thing the really good women cannot stomach all the drama in the romance novels. She doesnʼt think she should have to go through so much drama. Itʼs not part of her reality, but she most certainly wants a man who has all the desirable attributes as she want to feel she earned him.
Now, how can it be desirable to have some bad boy attributes and some nice guy attributes? Itʼs all about content. In social settings, the proper protocol and manners are desirable. But in private, especially in the bedroom, what is desirable is raw primal sexual dominance, or more simply and almost over-simplifying to a fault, be the nice guy in the streets and the bad boy in the sheets.
To be more specific, be masculine without being macho. Be confident without being cocky. Be exciting without being reckless. Be a little bit mysterious without being secretive, and be protective without being
possessive, and be sexually exciting. Create sexual tension. Be dominant without being domineering. Talk dirty to her, make her do things she is too inhibited to do but would love to do. Make her experience all those intense sexual feelings.
If you want a drama queen, be a bad boy all the time. Sheʼll love the drama, but the relationship is doomed. But if you want a really good one and you want to keep her, treat her with respect in public, and in the bedroom respect her wishes to be rolled hard and put away wet.
Now, how do you spot the really good ones? The really good ones have a sense of deservedness, meaning they believe they deserve that which is good such as happiness, harmony and even pleasure. Why is this
important? Because when she finds a good man, she believes she deserves him. When she is in a good relationship, she believes she deserves it. It will be congruent with what she believes she deserves and thus she wonʼt sabotage it.
Sabotage is what the drama queens do when they find themselves with a good man in what could have the possibility of being a good relationship. It would be incongruent with what she believes she deserves to have and thus she will sabotage it. So to keep a woman, get one who will stay.
Women who have a good sense of deservedness learn it in childhood. Such woman typically had a close relationship with their father. I call this women daddyʼs girls. This is the good types of daddyʼs girls, not the bad type, which some people refer to as daddyʼs girls. The bad types are women who were spoiled rotten by their fathers and never held
accountable for their own actions. Those women are drama queens.
The good type of daddyʼs girls were held accountable for their actions or taught to be self-reliant, taught to believe in themselves and supported in their endeavors. It is very easy to spot these women. First of all, when you shake her hand, she will give you a good firm handshake. Her father taught her how to do that, and remember these women are self-assured. They will have a confident handshake. It could also be said that they have enough respect for others to give people a meaning full handshake. If a woman who gives you a limp handshake or a fingers-only handshake, she is a drama queen, guaranteed runaway.
The next test is to see how she takes a compliment. Simply give her a genuine compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the compliment or deflects the compliment, she is a drama queen. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine thank you, then it may be possible that she is a daddyʼs girl. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what you want.
The next test is to see how she communicates. Daddyʼs girls are typically very communicative. They are clear and deterministic in their
communication. They believe in themselves and they believe in what they say. Now hereʼs the real test, simply say to her, “I can tell that your are very self-assured. I bet that when you were a little girl you had a close relationship with your father.” The daddyʼs girls will brighten up and proclaim, “Yes, I did.” This will massively build rapport. Now, if sheʼs a drama queen and you say that, it will instantly vaporize rapport and she will draw away. Perfect; let her go.
After you do these tests for a while and verify your findings you will actually be able to tell who the daddyʼs girls are even before you talk to them. You will see it in the way they interact with their friends. You can really freak out some women by doing this, but I have actually gone up to women who are obviously daddyʼs girls and I have said, “Iʼve noticed something about you, I bet when you were a little girl you had a close relationship with your father?” She will look startled and say, “Do I know you? How do you know that?” And Iʼd take it from there.
Success begins by choosing wisely. Find the ones who are actually capable of the successful relationship and then give her the life of the romance novel. Iʼm David Shade.
David Van Arrick
Carlos Xuma: Hey guys, this is Carlos Xuma, and I want to welcome you
to another very important part of the program. What weʼre going to do now is weʼre going to talk to yet another expert. This again is also in the sexual area, so we can get you guys some techniques, some strategies that will help you keep that attraction going and keep your girlfriend wanting you the whole time. You donʼt have to worry about her losing interest because the sex isnʼt there and sheʼs just not getting what she wants. My good friend and guest today is Mr. David Van Arrick. David, how are you doing, man?
David Van Arrick: Great, Carlos, how are you, my friend?
Carlos Xuma: I am doing awesome. Iʼm really excited about this
program. I guess you could say itʼs like the pinnacle of what Iʼve been teaching guys all these years and that is how they take all the stuff theyʼve probably been learning about the art of attraction, maybe the seduction things or the pickup artist-type stuff theyʼve got and now I know a lot of guys want to know how to turn this into a relationship, and thereʼs nothing more important in that relationship, in my opinion, in many ways than the sexual relationship you have with your woman, and Iʼm sure youʼd agree in a lot of levels with that.
David Van Arrick: Absolutely.
Carlos Xuma: I know my guys are probably a little bit new to you, and Iʼm
glad I have this opportunity to kind of introduce you to them. Maybe you can give them a little bit of background on what it is you teach and weʼll get into some great stuff that I know you have to talk about today.
David Van Arrick: Well, first of all, just so you guys know back in the early
days, around 2005, I was actually voted one of the top pickup artists of that particular year and my particular claim to fame was in the realms of sexual mastery and actually creating and maintaining multiple long-term
relationships.
Carlos Xuma: Okay.
David Van Arrick: The system I developed from my experience in the
seduction and the swingerʼs community actually for five years taught me a tremendous amount about how to create tremendous sexual pleasure and connection between two people. How to create and intense feeling of sexual bonding that would literally at a physiological level as well as an emotional level bind a woman to you in a way that just made her get tremendous pleasure from taking care of you.
My background is also in tantric sexual practices. I have a seventh degree black belt in the martial arts. I am also a licensed acupuncturist and
herbalist. So I have a tremendous amount of academic as well as real world experience in what Iʼd like to call the psychology of orgasm and ultimately in enhancing and maintaining very powerful and ongoing sexual relationships that only get better over time.
Itʼs interesting that you contacted me about this whole process because itʼs actually where my focus has been now for the past several years is just taking what most people would consider a good level of sexual
relationships and taking it into the stratosphere. How to actually decipher your womanʼs ideal sexual partner and become that person, and then take her even beyond what she thought was possible so that she becomes hyper-responsive to you.
Carlos Xuma: Awesome, thatʼs great. Yeah, I was going to mention there
for the guys that know that I imbue a lot of the martial arts philosophy and Eastern philosophy that I study in there and that youʼre also martial artist like myself. What I really wanted guys to come away with from this
program is this ability to make their girlfriends not only help the relationship move forward instead of causing chaos, but as well give them strategies to satisfy their woman so well in the bedroom that no sane woman would want to leave.
We want to keep that attraction going for as long as we can and never give her a reason to want to leave and ultimately sexual attraction can come from this Alpha example that I teach that the man shows. Heʼs the leader and the initiator, and David what I think the guys need are some good strategies as well as techniques they can apply. Letʼs start off with what are three things that guys donʼt know about women and sex that they absolutely must to keep this sexual attraction going?
David Van Arrick: The first thing you have that most guys donʼt know, if
you had to boil down everything that I do into this one thing it would be this. Every woman bar none is carrying around inside of her an idealized map of what constitutes the perfect lover and sexual partner for her. In a neuro- linguistic perspective, we would call these criteria and values, but whatʼs going here that most guys donʼt realize is that sheʼs moving through the world, projecting onto everyone around her, and especially her sexual romantic partners exactly what it is that needs to be done to absolutely fulfil her internal checklist. And what that means in a very practical sense, Carlos, is that a woman is going through the world doing to the guy sheʼs in a relationship with exactly what she wants and needs to be done to her in order for her to match to that internal checklist.
What most guys donʼt realize is that theyʼre moving through the world doing the same thing. Theyʼre projecting their own ideas of what satisfies them, what excites them, what gives them pleasure on to the women around them and unconsciously doing that to the woman theyʼre with.
Now, to the degree that those two checklists match, you have sexual chemistry. To the degree that they donʼt, you have a lack of sexual
chemistry and actually you have resistance to orgasm. One of the biggest accomplishments that grew out of this particular discovery was the fact that once I realized this, back in my dating days, I managed to sleep with nine out of ten women on the first date every time, and the reason for that is, is because I became aware very quickly of this checklist that they have.
And what I mean by this is very simple. Every time you match an item that is on her internal checklist, and by the way, she wonʼt tell you this verbally, but she will tell you it in her non-verbals, the way she touches you, the way she stands, the way she looks at you. All of these things will come out in her non-verbals. Itʼs not something sheʼs going to be conscious of, but hereʼs the key. Each time you match one of these elements, she puts a little check mark next to that element in her list and you get to go to the next level of intimacy.
So the degree that you can match that well with intimacy, she will sleep with you on the first night because once she have matched every possible mark on her check list, I used to go back and forth between the map and the checklist and checklist is probably a better one, the barriers to intimacy drop. She becomes increasingly hyper-responsive to you because at a deep unconscious level, youʼre just like her, and what happens is every time she check a list, she derives tremendous pleasure from it.
So the way this works is by the time you reach the point where youʼre ready to close or youʼre ready to just go in for the kiss, now this works as well as in on-going long-term relationships as it does for first dates
because with the degree that you match this, youʼve actually sent a powerful unconscious message that youʼre her ideal lover. The barriers that sheʼs been using to hold you back or to keep from actually going into orgasm, especially women with intimacy issues, this is critical because I do a lot of work with in therapy where Iʼm also a hypnotherapist and I actually work in that field, these barriers to intimacy drop and you have this
accelerated track into sexual hyper-responsiveness.
That one thing right there if you can learn to just isolate her cues and match them. There are seven stages of body language cues that women go through, but bottom line is this is, is once you understand the sexual projection aspect of it and you matched her internal model, before youʼve even taken off your clothes, youʼve actually gone 90% of where you need to be considered her ideal lover, then when you apply the sexual
acceleration techniques that I teach in my various courses, you take what she thought was possible for her and you accelerate it beyond that. Then you apply sexual suggestions, because one of the things that happens is as a woman becomes increasingly more hyper-responsive to you sexually, she becomes more suggestible to you sexually, which means her mind is willing to accept whatever you tell her is real.
I know a lot of you guys are interested in erotic hypnosis and that where you can kind of segue way to that, but the other thing about this is once youʼve given a woman massive sexual and orgasmic pleasure, her body releases a tremendous amount of oxytocin.
Now most of you know that oxytocin is this hormone that we release that actually is responsible for pair bonding and sexual responsiveness and nurturing behaviors. The most oxytocin is released during sexual orgasm. So once you accelerate a womanʼs sexual hyper-responsiveness, you lead her into an area or state where sheʼs the sexual resistance to going into deeper and deeper levels of increasing sexual response or pleasure. We call it sexual inertia, for lack of a better word, but what happens is as all of that oxytocin floods her system, you become the source of it and this literally burns your image into her neurology. It literally creates you as her own personal sexual fetish.
The one thing about the oxytocin pathways that you really need to know, and Iʼm not going to get too medical about this but skip this, love, addiction and tremendous arousal and connection are fetishes. The three have one thing in common. Extreme amount of oxytocin at the time they were
initiated.
So what happens is by learning how to match her internal checklist, which is the first thing you need to do. You need to understand that that checklist is there.
The second thing you need to understand is that you have one too, and if you keep projecting what you want on to her youʼre actually going to retard or slow down your ability to get her sexually aroused faster and bar her interest in you.
The third thing you need is you need to get those barriers of intimacy dropped and you need to give her a resistance-free pathway into that sexually accelerated hyper-responsive state. When you do this you
become her own sexual fetish. Now, what this means in terms of the goal of your course is simply this, once youʼve gone through this process that we teach, any time your woman looks at another man the only person she can think of is you.
Carlos Xuma: Thatʼs ideal. What are some mistakes that guys are
making? I mean, those are some awesome tips, by the way. I want to actually step back for a second, but when you weʼre talking about the oxytocin, and I do go into that in the program talking about how what we consider love to be a very drug-enhanced state of mind and its part of the process. A lot of people donʼt realize just how much. I talked about the initial stages of bonding with somebody as being the crack pipe because thatʼs the addiction. Thatʼs the real heavy duty high you get from
infatuation, lust, that up front stuff and it gradually migrates into the heroin pleasure of a long-term kind of consistent good vibe, and we donʼt realize itʼs there until that source of the drug, the other person is taken away, and what youʼre talking about was speaking to that.
David Van Arrick: As matter of fact in the sexual conditioning component
I teach in my program we talked about this thing called the rule of three. Now, Iʼm just going to cover it just very, very briefly because I know there are other things we want to talk about, and I want to get back to your question in a minute.
Carlos Xuma: Sure.
David Van Arrick: But the first thing is if you want to really make the most
of the oxytocin process which youʼre obviously teaching your guys about which I applaud you. If guys understood this they would have a harem. I mean literally a harem because the thing about a sexually satisfied woman is she loves bragging rights. She loves telling her friends about this guy whoʼs completely rocked her world, and trust me when your woman starts talking about you to her friends they become really, really curious about you and thatʼs like chick crack. Because once theyʼre curious youʼve got amazing social proof and you can pretty much write your own ticket
depending on how well youʼve conditioned your woman. Now, I donʼt know if a lot of your guys are into multiple relationships or into a monogamous relationship. Iʼm not going to pass judgment on that, but Iʼm telling you these are the effects that you can expect.
The other part of the rule of three is so youʼve got to give a woman at least three orgasms within a very short period of time to really maximize the oxytocin effect. Thatʼs level one of the rule of three. The other part of this
is that initiates the state. That gets her to the point where you can just do all kinds of amazing things with her, and itʼs three times more powerful than most women ever get sexually anyway.
Most women are lucky to ever get one orgasm during sex much less three. With this, to use dating and pickup terminology, youʼve created tremendous sexual value within her for you because, first of all, if you follow this
process youʼve already matched everything she ever thinks or thought of she wanted in a guy by you understanding the whole concept of sexual projection.
The second thing is, is that now youʼve given her three orgasms, which means, by the way, sheʼll probably come ultra quick the first time anyway because youʼve matched that little checklist, but now youʼve taken her and you validated it. But not only have you done that, Carlos, what youʼve also done by giving her the second one, youʼve shown her that it wasnʼt a fluke. Youʼve shown her that you actually know what youʼre doing. By the way, one of the things that women need and want is a skilled lover who knows how to take the lead and she can feel free to surrender with.
The third time you give her an orgasm, youʼve validated all of the things youʼve just done, and by giving her a third one youʼve proven to her that youʼre an unselfish lover, that you put her pleasure first. All thatʼs going on behind the scenes combined with all of this pleasure, you havenʼt even said anything yet. So this is tremendously powerful.
Now, the key to this is when you send her home. You wait a day or two. The oxytocin will start to wear off and sheʼll start to get twitchy. You call her back and you do it again. Give her a day or two, call her back and you do it again.
By the third time and this is the one thing Iʼve noticed. By the time youʼve done three sessions in a row, if a woman sleeps with you more than three times, itʼs not just about the sex anymore. Thereʼs something much
deeper going on there. So Iʼm teaching you how to leverage that, but the key here is, is that by the time youʼve reached the third stage, or youʼve done this the third time she is completely hooked on you. You are her drug of choice. She canʼt think of another guy without you coming up somehow.
Carlos Xuma: And thatʼs a good place to be being tattooed into a
woman's thought patterns.
David Van Arrick: Yeah, it literally burns you into her neurology. As
matter of fact, some of the articles I have about oxytocin, one of the things they say is that the effects of oxytocin can actually rewrite past psycho-emotional programming.
Carlos Xuma: Thatʼs interesting. I didnʼt know that.
David Van Arrick: Itʼs very cool. Itʼs one of the reasons why I wrote
Secret Orgasm Tips back in 2005. That was one of the main things I was trying to teach guys, but how to do it through a sexual approach more so than like some people are doing like hypnosis and seduction, hypnotic things, and Iʼm very good at that, but Iʼm doing things through a more physical route which is going to be an easier way for you to leverage this kind of a phenomena, for lack of a better word. What was this additional question? I think I got off on this tangent here?
Carlos Xuma: No, thatʼs no problem. I like that. Thatʼs good information
definitely. What I think guys also want to know are what some of the mistakes that they can avoid, like can you give us say maybe three
mistakes guys are making during sex that stops her and him from enjoying himself and ultimately satisfying her.
David Van Arrick: First one, youʼve probably heard this a million times,
not enough foreplay. The secret to getting a woman turned on faster is to slow the fuck down, pardon my French. But thatʼs really the key, and the reason for this is, is that the slower you go the more the anticipation in her built, and when you engage the anticipation, youʼre engaging her on a mental and emotional level, not just a physical level, her body will follow it. And so thereʼs actually what I call the ten keys to maximum sexual arousal, which is all about where to touch, how to touch and what sequences to touch that actually will cause a sexual acceleration or romantic
acceleration, and there are places on her body that will do one better than
the other, and we can talk about that a little later on. But the first thing is not enough foreplay.
The second thing is youʼve got to get your mind out of your crotch. I call it penile thinking in my courses, and thatʼs what happens is because most guys unfortunately, and Carlos, I have to salute you for this because you are one of the guys on the frontlines helping guys to remedy this problem of sexual starvation. Men in this culture live in a perpetually sexually starved world and it causes us to behave in ways that just completely demean our self-image and destroys our inner game...
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, exactly.
David Van Arrick: And so youʼre doing a tremendous service to these
men out there and I hope everybody, and this is going out to your
customers and your students and things, but I want you guys out there to know that Carlos is really my hero in terms of what heʼs doing for you guys in a relationship context and in a dating context. But the thing is you want to understand, you got to slow down and youʼve got to focus on her. Youʼve got to get out of your own lust long enough to take her through a series of processes.
Now, when you do this properly, Carlos, one of the things that happen is what I call sexual reciprocity. If you give a woman the kind of unrelenting sexual pleasure Iʼm talking to you about,
she will literally move heaven and earth to pay you back. She canʼt not do it. In fact, her doing that causes her to dump more oxytocin into her
system. She gets another rush of pleasure just from doing it.
Back when I was really, really hardcore testing this particular method and this approach, I was having women take me on vacations, pay for me to go to seminars, buy me dinners, take me out to lunch. They were having a ball. They would call me up and ask me if they could do my laundry. It was just very bizarre. Now, this is just the kind of power I donʼt hand out lightly because when you do this process youʼre literally rewiring them in a significant way.
In fact, one of the things that will happen is, for some strange reason, if you do break up with that woman and if she does hook with somebody else later on, what youʼll notice is that the person she hooks up with bears a remarkable resemblance to you.
Carlos Xuma: There is the ultimate flattery.
David Van Arrick: And Iʼve seen that. Iʼve seen it over and over and over
again. Itʼs one of the byproducts of this kind of approach. So not enough foreplay, going too fast, focusing too much on your own level of arousal and getting what you want. The other part of that is being too focused on penetration.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, definitely.
David Van Arrick: Hereʼs something that I think guys need to understand.
Iʼve actually got six things that I would like to share with you guys. I know you asked for three, but Iʼm going to give you six.
Carlos Xuma: Go for it. Overpaying, thatʼs good.
David Van Arrick: Most women do not lust for penetration. They think
they do. What they long for is any activity that results in orgasm. So as long as you understand that, thereʼs a lot of different ways to bring her to orgasm. It takes the pressure off of you to have to perform and get inside her as fast as you can, and that brings us to what I call whatʼs actually the next one on my list, which is most guys are far too focused on
performance.
Not that performance isnʼt important, it absolutely is. But when you focus on it, you actually increase your own level of physiological arousal in a negative way that actually causes you to perform less powerfully than you could, and so in my course Forever Man, I spent a lot of time teaching guys how to perform better sexually. But one of the biggest things that you have to do is you have to relax. You have to have fun. You have to not be so focused on, “Can I satisfy her? Can I satisfy her?”
If youʼve developed your tools, if youʼve developed the ability to tap into her own sexual map and her own sexual values and criteria you
understand the way sheʼs projecting and what sheʼs projecting and how to feed it back to her, youʼre 99% there. Many times if youʼve done the
process Iʼm talking about, you can look at her and tell her to orgasm and she will. Sheʼs that hyper-responsive to you and you donʼt have to do any kind of weird trance induction. Itʼs about physiological, and for lack of a better term, an anchor to you.
The other thing is, is that you get being too serious and not having enough fun. Take your time and enjoy the process. These are things that if you just did these six things, youʼd find that your sexual responsiveness from your woman would be massively improved at least 200%, I would have to say, to 100% to 200% easily from just following these six steps. The other thing is youʼll enjoy it a hell of a lot more and youʼll last longer.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, both win.
David Van Arrick: One thing I want to throw in here last, when it comes to
sexual issues, men and women are divided. When it comes to men, men worry most about performance. Theyʼre worried if they donʼt perform, if they donʼt satisfy, that sheʼs going to leave. Thatʼs men and so they project that on to the woman thinking that thatʼs what the woman wants too, but itʼs not. I mean itʼs important, but itʼs not actually where a womanʼs biggest insecurities lie.
A womanʼs biggest insecurities lie in her level of attractiveness to you. Thatʼs where her biggest insecurities lie and so the key here, and this goes back to the whole sexual projection and criteria and values thing Iʼm talking about, one of the things that allows a woman to become sexually more hyper-responsive to you and become more open to you is that feeling of being absolutely the most attractive woman in your life, of “being special to you.” When you satisfy a womanʼs values and criteria the way Iʼm talking about using the sexual projection techniques, what happens is first of all you focus your attention on her the way no man has ever done. Youʼve validated everything inside of her in a way that no man has ever done. That creates that level of, “My God, Iʼm special to him,” and so all of a sudden all of these things start to magnify and synergize and she just canʼt get enough of you. You become the center of her world.
Now, the cool thing about it and the way you maintain this is that even though you become the center of her world, she cannot be the center of yours. You see a woman wants to be a part of a man's life. She does not want to be his life. Iʼm sure you quote your guys this.
Carlos Xuma: Oh yeah.
David Van Arrick: So if you move through the world like you have a
purpose, like you have a mission and sheʼs part of it, she will gladly follow your lead anywhere you want to go.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, thatʼs pretty much the epitome of my Alpha man and
the Alpha lifestyle that I talk about. Youʼve read the book ʻThe Alchemistʼ Iʼm assuming, correct?
David Van Arrick: Sure.
Carlos Xuma: Itʼs a great book and I think Iʼve heard now that itʼs actually
being given out to kids in school now, which I think is awesome.
David Van Arrick: Thatʼs awesome.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, itʼs great. It speaks to that same thing in the book.
The woman, I canʼt remember her name, but the woman that he runs into and eventually falls in love with, he plans to kind of stay there and she says, “No, no, you need to leave,” because she can see in his eyes that he hasnʼt really achieved his goal in life and heʼs pretending that itʼs her and he wants it to be her, but that's really ripping her off and she sees that, and I thought that was the coolest thing about her. If a woman would be able to do this in real life and be able to recognize that, but all too often we fall victim to our own self-esteem and we just want to grab that person before they get away and keep them.
David Van Arrick: Yeah, as matter of fact I have a private mastermind
that I run down here in San Diego and actually one of the eight-hour
workshops that we did was what I call the Supreme self-Esteem Silo, which is basically a series of processes that we run you through that literally takes your self-esteem, cleans out all the crap, installs all of these voices that give you the positive things you need to do and then builds on that, and one of the things that happened was just from that process, my guys went out and some of them were in their fifties. They just got out of some really nasty divorces. Some are in their twenties and the number of success stories and changes of how people were treating them based on the process they went through was just amazing.
And the reason I bring that up is because when you, and we talked a lot about being an Alpha male and things like that, but one of the things you have to understand is that… how can I put this? If you donʼt have a life, if youʼre not the leader in your life, you have a tendency to behave in ways that cause women to lose respect for you, to start to look at you as being weak or being without direction and that leaves to feelings of insecurity in her. Women are programmed to seek out security and they want a man who can activate those security-seeking values within them. When you make a woman the center of your life youʼre sending the message that you donʼt have a life.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, exactly.
David Van Arrick: And no one wants to be a part of that.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah.
David Van Arrick: So anyways, thatʼs just my little tangent there.
Carlos Xuma: No problem. I want to get into a little bit of talking about
how guys can handle probably one of the biggest problems in their sex lives, which typically is the lasting and staying power that they have within sex. Iʼm going to share one of my tips out, and David, Iʼd like you to
definitely give us some of your advice regarding this too in terms of how do we give our women the screaming orgasms that last 20 to 60 minutes longer, but also how do we control and maintain our own performance during the process too.
One of the things that I learned awhile back, but I canʼt remember right now where I learned this. I do study Qigong and I know you study that as well. Itʼs the study of energy within the body and you donʼt even have to really get as metaphysical as this, but one of the things that I used during sex, if I really want to last a little longer, when you start to feel things are getting a little imminent and you donʼt want to come too quick is I imagine the energy that is about to happen, and you feel it in a certain obvious place in your body, I imagine that as being energy that is now coursing out the top of my head. Itʼs like a fountain of energy and it pulls your attention away, and you also have to relax your body of course.
But if you imagine the energy just being channeled right out of your body, youʼll get a lot more staying power. You will get a lot more duration and
you just end up being able to hold back a lot longer during sex, and I think itʼs that I know guys can use.
You can also imagine the energy coming out from the bottom of your feet, but you donʼt want to imagine it all being centered in that one location because now your attention is all on your genitals and that is where youʼre just going to come too quick. What are some techniques you can share about that?
David Van Arrick: Well, first of all, your methods are absolutely perfect
and theyʼre spot on. One of the things that I kind of have in my Forever Man Program, we talk about different ways to do these things. We have the quick and dirty methods and then we have the one that take a little bit of training. So Iʼm going to give you two or three from each of them, a kind of a sample platter, so to speak, of different ways that you can do this.
Carlos Xuma: Okay, great.
David Van Arrick: The energetic method that youʼre talking about works
really, really well. If you can keep, and this is where martial arts training really, really helps a lot, by the way, with the exercises youʼre talking about. If you can keep your presence of mind without succumbing to the level of arousal in your system and you can consciously diffuse that energy throughout your body, either at the top of your head to soles of your feet.
And actually another thing that you can do that helps to actually move your energy around is actually wiggle your toes.
Wiggling your toes will actually bring your attention to your feet and where you mind goes, your energy flows, which is a key to this. Remember sexual energy, sexual arousal is energy is motion, and motions are energy in motion. So where your attention goes, the energy will go there as well, so thatʼs how you move the energy around the body.
One of the more physical techniques, there are actually two or three physical techniques that you can use. One of them is what I call the perineum press. Everybody knows where that one is, right? Itʼs actually an acupuncture point called Conception Vessel One in Chinese
nomenclature, but basically itʼs right where the prostate would be, and what happens is as the man becomes more and more sexually aroused, as he feels himself on the brink of orgasm, if he doesnʼt know if he can quite control himself, he can reach down there with his finger, and actually I use two fingers when I do it, and youʼll feel in the perineum a little vessel. You want to press up and in there as youʼre about to reach orgasm, and I actually do this like two or three seconds before Iʼm about to actually climax, and you press that.
And at that point you can do one of two things. You can either transition into an arousal controlling technique. In other words, something thatʼs designed to either move the energy somewhere else like up to the head or
to the feet like youʼve talked about, or you can continue to press that
particular point, it will allow you to reach an orgasm but it will stop you from ejaculating, and one of the biggest things guys got to understand and a lot of guys do but a lot of guys donʼt is they think orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing, and theyʼre not.
So depending on where you want to go with this, if you want to what I call sexual kung fu or you want to circulate that energy, move it around the body, either to enhance and actually make yourself younger as time goes on, you can do that with this technique, or you can just enjoy it. Because one of the things happening is massaging that point even after orgasm will help get you through your refractory period faster, and thatʼs an important thing. So there are a couple of ways that you can use this.
One you can do it during intercourse as your own time, and you can do this from being on bottom or on the top as long as you can reach that point, you should be okay but it allows you to either A, slow down, ride the wave or re-circulate it, or you can just climax without making a mess, so to speak.
Another good one that you can use is called the testicle pull or the testes pull, and basically what happens is as a man gets closer and closer to actually ejaculating and reaching an orgasm, his genitals will actually pull up closer to his body kind of like when youʼre really cold, and so if you can have your woman do this or you can do it yourself as youʼre getting to that
point if you gently grasp your testicles and gently pull them back down, that will actually retard and slow down your ejaculatory reflex.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, Iʼve actually used that one. This is getting a little bit
vivid, but I actually used that one personally, and it does work and what it does is, I think more than anything, correct me if Iʼm wrong, David, but itʼs not so much the pulling, its the focus on relaxing so that they can be relaxed away from the body again.
David Van Arrick: Absolutely. Anything that can induce relaxation will
help you to control yourself because the biggest challenge to guys is what I call sexual hyper-arousal syndrome, and there is a lot of different ways that that manifest. But the bottom line is that you have an excess of nervous tension in your body that you reach a point where you just canʼt control it anymore and you just go off the deep end and blow your load or lose consciousness depending on the situation that youʼre in.
Another thing that you can do, and this one is a little bit more of a
positional strategy, and this is what I call the deep penetration technique. One of the things that cause guys to lose performance really, really quickly is lack of understanding of female vaginal anatomy. Now, what do I mean by that?
Most guys, when theyʼre first penetrating their woman, they go as deep and as hard and as fast as they can, praying to God they can last long enough to satisfy her.
Carlos Xuma: Right.
David Van Arrick: The only challenge with this is, is that they donʼt
understand that the thing they need to stimulate the most isnʼt in the vagina. The thing they need to stimulate the most, and we talked about the clitoris, the clitoris being the first panic button, so to speak. The key to this is, is that you have to understand that the clitoris is actually half an inch to an inch above the opening to the vagina and a womanʼs vaginal architecture is designed to bring you to orgasm as quick as humanly possible. So one of the things that you need to do if you want to stimulate a woman during intercourse is you need to position your body in such a way that you can in fact stimulate her clitoris.
Now, the way you do this, Iʼm trying to figure out how the best way to describe this by not giving a visual. This is such a visual medium, but if you can imagine when your penis is inserted into the vagina, your pubic bone, if you can insert right up until the pubic bone. Well, her clitoris rides right on that pubic bone. If you focus your attention on the place where both of your pubic bones touch, you will naturally be contacting the area where her clitoris is. So when you go in deep, you can go in deep, and actually what happens is that the head of your penis will actually touch it
on the D-spot actually inside. Youʼre actually getting the entire clitoral nervous system right there from the clitoris to the G-spot to the D-spot just by how you angle yourself.
This is one of the reasons why women tend to have more orgasms during intercourse when theyʼre on top than when you are. Itʼs because a woman unconsciously positions her body in such a way that her clitoris is rubbing your pubic bone. So when you go deep, small tiny movement of your pelvis will massage the clitoris as well as your penis being inside of her will give her that sensation of being filled, of being full, and so you can go very slow, very deep and control your own level of arousal and at the same time youʼre stimulating her clitoris directly.
Carlos Xuma: I think guys also are really looking for confidence in getting
a woman from wherever they may be just to the eventual goal. I teach guys also that the get goal is obviously not a good thing because it puts you in the wrong frame of mind to really satisfy a woman, not only just sexually but psychologically. The guy that goes in there trying to get a phone number or get laid is the guy that is going in with an agenda and women pick that up and the same thing happens for sex. Can you share one tip maybe that would give men more confidence that would take maybe a woman from a third base or wherever they may be to home base? Getting her into the bedroom confidently and competently.
David Van Arrick: Sure. I can sum that up in two words, calibration skills.
Carlos Xuma: Okay.
David Van Arrick: What do I mean by that? When I talk to guys about
approaching women or dating women, I ask them this question. I say, “Guys, if you knew with an 80% certainty that a woman was already attracted to you before you went and spoke to her, how much more
confident would you be in approaching that woman?” And then verily they will say, “Iʼd be totally confident.”
Carlos Xuma: Right.
David Van Arrick: Well, thatʼs what the ability to pay attention and
observe will do to you, but what's important is knowing what to look for and how to make sense out of it. So the first thing I tell my guys is stop trying to get laid. When you stop trying to get laid, you start having and start focusing on having a good time, so she starts to wonder why youʼre not trying to get into her pants.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah.
David Van Arrick: Remember women are always worried about being
attractive, so theyʼre moving in the direction of something that they need to satisfy. You become the object they pursue. That sets the stage. So when you stop trying to seduce a woman and you focus on having a good time, her own processes will start to move her in that direction, but what you also want to focus on again is learning to calibrate physical sexual attraction.
And one of the things I go for, first off, is I tell the guys, “Go for pupil dilation.” The bigger her pupils get, the more into you she is. Look for when her lips start to pout out, almost like she has Angelina Jolie lips where they start to pout out, especially that lower lip. Lower lip protrusion indicates the desire to be kissed.
The next thing is once you have those signals, donʼt initiate anything until she touches you first and when she touches you, and she will touch you at some point in your interaction if youʼre paying attention and youʼre
following the cue she is giving you, at some point it will seem completely accidental, maybe completely non-sexual. She will find a way to touch you. That is the silent signal that it is now okay to touch her. When you touch her in exactly the same way that she touches you, you match a major checkpoint on her internal checklist. That signals that itʼs okay.
Now, after that, what youʼll notice is her body will start to orient more towards you. Youʼll notice that if she has a drink or napkin or anything
sitting on the table, letʼs say, if youʼre at a club or something, sheʼll move it closer to you. These are all levels of increasing sexual intimacy. If youʼre moving from, letʼs say, youʼve already initiated physical contact and you want to get her from third base into the bedroom, so to speak. One of the things I got really, really good at was learning how to arouse women through their clothing. Now, we have a system called Magic Touch in which is the ability to stroke and touch women in certain areas that actually cause sexual responses in her body. We call this sexual energy massage and there are a couple of things that Iʼd like to share with your guys.
Carlos Xuma: Absolutely. Go ahead.
David Van Arrick: That you can get it here totally. They seem absolutely
non-sexual, but from a Chinese medical perspective, they will send her through the roof with their clothes on.
Carlos Xuma: Okay.
David Van Arrick: First thing is everybody talks about massage this and
massages that and I have two whole videos in Secret Orgasm Tips called Sexual Energy Massage where once you have the woman on her back or whatever, you do these meridians in this order and they just go completely through the roof, but thereʼs a sneakier way, a subtler way to get a similar level of desire, relaxation and sexual arousal, and itʼs through massaging her ears. Now, the cool thing about this is, is if you look at a picture of an
ear, the big part at the top and the lobe at the bottom is like an inverted fetus or an inverted person. The head is at the bottom, the buttocks and genital region is at the top just inside the lip in that little V and the spine is actually the outer edge of the ear.
Carlos Xuma: Okay
David Van Arrick: So one of the things you could do is as youʼre kissing
her, as youʼre touching her and stroking her in various ways, take both of your hands and gently massage that top of the earlobe or the top of the ear in little circular motions and then gently massage the back and front of the ear down the outer edges towards the lobe and then just gently pull on the lobes.
Carlos Xuma: Okay.
David Van Arrick: Now, what youʼre doing in essence, Carlos, when
youʼre doing that, every part of the body has a corresponding nerve ending in the ear. We can treat the entire body in acupuncture through the ear. What youʼre literally doing is the same thing youʼre doing, Carlos, when you feel yourself being aroused and you move the energy up to your head. What youʼre literally doing is sending waves of energy in relaxation from her genital region up her spine and into her head, and after two or three strokes the ears will start to get hot. The ears are energetically and neurogically connected to her sexual organs.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, Iʼve used the ear tip once or twice. Itʼs funny
because I actually do this to my son a little bit. I know itʼs not in the same area there. Sometimes itʼs a great thing to just kind of change his energy a little bit if heʼs getting into a little bit of a destructive mood or whatever the mood may be, itʼs almost like an energy distraction for him. But yeah, Iʼve noticed that effect and little delicate play on the earlobes goes a long way. That actually…
David Van Arrick: Well, what I was going to go on is if a woman has any
kind of last minute fear or resistance to you, when you massage the points there, especially the one called Shen Men in the upper part of the ear thatʼs used for treatment of OCD, post-traumatic stress and addictions. When you massage that point, her fear centers relax. Her level of mental emotional relaxation, she just completely let go. So not only are you affecting her in a sexual way because the points that control her genital anatomy are actually right above that particular point, but youʼre actually affecting her emotional state and taking her into the place you want her to be for her to be more sexually responsive to you.
Carlos Xuma: Yeah, for any guys that maybe listening to this too. Like
weʼre both in California, Dave and I are both in California. Iʼm in Northern California, so itʼs kind of the home of woo-woo New Age-yness. And I come from New York originally, so for me to accept this stuff can
sometimes be a stretch but honestly the more you study about the mind and body connection, and in martial arts we talk about it as being mind, body and spirit. But the mind and body connection, you have to think
about this way, guys, if in any way youʼre kind of like, “Oh, thatʼs just weird stuff. Thatʼs kind of like weird acupuncture stuff.” But think about it this way, youʼre body and your nervous system, the nerves that go all the way out to the end of your fingers, thatʼs just an extension of your brain and what youʼre really doing is when youʼre massaging the body is youʼre stimulating parts of the brain in an indirect way.
A lot of guys when they hear it, theyʼre like, “Oh, I never really thought about it that way.” But thatʼs really whatʼs happening is your brain is not just located in your head, itʼs extending throughout your body and hence a lot of the connection between a lot of the disease or dis-eases of the body are linked to the mind in our emotional state and things like that with a lot of the cancers and a lot of the sicknesses. So yeah, going right back to that massage thing, another really vital skill for guys to pay some attention and focus on is erotic massage and how you stimulate the body, which actually I want to ask you that question, David. Can you give us like one other really cool area? You mentioned sexual touch earlier, and I want to come back to that one, where else would you say is an awesome place for guys to be stimulating as far as sexual touch to get a woman aroused and to again you start that oxytocin pumping?
David Van Arrick: Well, there is actually a couple. Letʼs see, there are
points on the body, but every time I tell people about them, I get emails saying, “How do I find that point again?” So Iʼm going to make it real easy. There are two places that you can work on a woman anywhere, anytime and it will have a tremendous effect on her.
Carlos Xuma: Okay.
David Van Arrick: Her hands and her feet. Again, one of the reasons that
we do the hands especially is because every organ system in the body has a corresponding pressure point and nerve ending in the hands. So if you can massage a womanʼs hands really, really well, youʼre going to go a long way. One of the places women pay attention to is a manʼs hands, and so when you can take your hands and give her those feelings using yours she already starts wondering what else you can do with those hands and
nothing is more dangerous than a curious woman.
Carlos Xuma: No kidding, in more ways than one.
David Van Arrick: The other place is thereʼs a pressure point at the sole
of the foot where the ball of the foot is. Itʼs generally medial to the ball of foot. We call that point Kidney One, and really if you just touch the center, you find the ball of her foot and just go a little bit to the right or left medially, that point is a major kidney control point. Now, when I say kidney, what the hell do that mean? Kidney is the energy that actually feeds your sexuality. Iʼll say it more candid. When you massage any kidney point, youʼre
suddenly affecting the nerves and the pathways that influence your sexual organs. It revives the energy that lets the sexual fires burn, so to speak, but it also connects to the bladder meridian, which is on the back and the kidney to brain which runs up to the inside of the leg and through the genitals. So these are very distant points that affect the genital regions of
the body and as a byproduct of this training of this process the whole body relaxes, and itʼs a prerequisite to massive sexual responsiveness, is to get the woman relaxed and get aroused at the same time.
So if I had my choice, if I could only do things that were being able to be done in plain sight without making her look like a slut or anything like that, it will be ears. And I can tell you when Iʼve used to do ear massages in public places, I would literally have a line of women waiting. It was the weirdest thing. I even had a few guys. I kind of wondered about that, but the whole thing about the ear massage technique is that itʼs a completely powerful way to A, seduce a woman, get her sexually aroused and get her in the mood. I mean, to get her actually where she feels comfortable without being overtly sexual. The hands, a womanʼs hands get very, very little attention unless they go to the manicurist every so often, but when a man can do that, heʼs putting himself in a completely different level than the average man sheʼs used to dating or seeing, and then of course the feet. If you get all three, I guarantee you she will sleep with you.
Carlos Xuma: Iʼm thinking of that scene in Pulp Fiction where theyʼre
talking about the foot massage, and it always makes me laugh because foot massage is never just a foot massage. Thereʼs always something more to it than that.
David Van Arrick: No, and if you actually look at the levels of progression
of intimacy, ears, hands. You go ears to hands or hands to ears and then you eventually want to wind up at the feet.
Carlos Xuma: David, this has been some awesome, awesome
information. This has been really great. I was delightfully surprised with the amount of great practical techniques and strategies youʼve given here and I think thereʼs enough here. Iʼve already gotten a few ideas myself. Iʼm thinking, “Okay, Iʼm going to go give Jean a hand massage later on.”
But at the same time, guys can take this stuff and put it to work right away. If youʼre in a relationship now, this is a stuff you can be using tonight. I mean, like this minute, you could be using this stuff so you should be getting there as soon as possible and applying it. Always the key to success is fast action, fast implementation. Itʼs the number one thing that will get you from wherever you are right now to wherever you want to go much faster is getting faster by just implementing. Not get faster making mistakes but get faster just putting it out there and doing it.
The stuff David gave you, awesome, awesome stuff. I appreciate it, David, and for you guys that want more information on Davidʼs program, heʼs got some great stuff. I encourage you to go over to carlosxuma.com/davidv. Iʼll make it easy for you, so you donʼt have to spell his whole last name, DavidV with a V at the end being Victor and guys can find some more of
your great programs. Do you want to tell them a little bit about what you do have as far as programs, David, that they might be interested in?
David Van Arrick: Sure, the very first thing that we offer is what we call
the Forbidden Secrets of Sexual Mastery otherwise known as Secret
Orgasm Tips and what this is, is a literal blueprint of how to pay attention to a woman in such a way that you can quickly find out exactly what it is she wants in an ideal lover and how to mirror that back to her in such a way that she recognizes you as being the guy that fulfills every level of sexual fantasy and what she considers to be right and natural in her perfect lover. Thatʼs where you start.
We then teach you how to take her into ever increasing levels of sexual arousal and desire. What I like to call sexual inner game, which are the attitudes and beliefs that you have to have and live your life from that will cause your life to transform, but at the same time become the kind of man who is naturally sexually irresistible to the vast majority of women out there. Then we go into very specific characteristics of the classical romantic hero where we teach you what those traits are, how to embody those traits and how to exemplify them. We actually have two videos on sexual energy massage, which is the exact order and sequence to massage certain acupuncture points and meridians in the body that will blow through any resistance to sex that she may have because it amplifies the sexual energy in her genitals and throughout her body. In fact, the girls who are modeling this, I had hired two girls to do this because itʼs always fun watching two girls do it.