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Gabe and Tom sit on
Gabe and Tom sit on the couch drinking beer. The coffee tablethe couch drinking beer. The coffee table is covered with beer bottles and food. They’re watching
is covered with beer bottles and food. They’re watching Pocahontas.
Pocahontas.
GABE GABE
Disney really hit the nail on the Disney really hit the nail on the head with this movie.
head with this movie. TOM
TOM What do you mean? What do you mean?
GABE GABE
The movie sums up racism in one The movie sums up racism in one song.
song.
The savages scene plays on the TV.
The savages scene plays on the TV. Gabe sings along to proveGabe sings along to prove his point.
his point.
GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D)
They’re savages, savages, barely They’re savages, savages, barely even human! Savages, savages, we even human! Savages, savages, we hate them cuz they’re
hate them cuz they’re different.different. TOM
TOM
Wow. This movie is a lot
Wow. This movie is a lot darkerdarker than I remember.
than I remember. GABE GABE
These white man cannot be trusted. These white man cannot be trusted.
TOM TOM
Why are we watching this. Why are we watching this.
GABE GABE
I’m not sure... Are we gonna get I’m not sure... Are we gonna get something to eat?
something to eat? TOM TOM
Yeah, order a pizza. I gotta text Yeah, order a pizza. I gotta text Katie good night.
Katie good night. GABE GABE How cute.
How cute.
Tom heads for the bathroom while Gabe picks up
Tom heads for the bathroom while Gabe picks up the phone.the phone. GABE (CONT’D)
GABE (CONT’D)
Hello, operator? We want pizza. Hello, operator? We want pizza.
INT. GABE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT INT. GABE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Tom texts his girlfriend. He speaks as he
Tom texts his girlfriend. He speaks as he types.types. TOM
TOM
Good night. Love you! Good night. Love you!
Tom smiles content with himself then uses the bathroom. Tom smiles content with himself then uses the bathroom.
INT. GABE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT INT. GABE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gabe is still on the
Gabe is still on the phone. Tom sits back on the phone. Tom sits back on the couch withcouch with his friend.
his friend.
GABE GABE
They’re connecting me. They’re connecting me.
TOM TOM
Gosh Katie is so great. Gosh Katie is so great.
GABE GABE
Yeah? When do I get to meet her. Yeah? When do I get to meet her.
TOM TOM Soon. Soon. GABE GABE
Cool, just don’t ruin it by telling Cool, just don’t ruin it by telling her you love her or
her you love her or something.something. TOM
TOM
How would that ruin things? How would that ruin things?
GABE GABE
The “L” word should not be
The “L” word should not be takentaken lightly. Some people bolt at the lightly. Some people bolt at the sound of it.
sound of it.
Gabe is connected with the pizza delivery people. Tom sits Gabe is connected with the pizza delivery people. Tom sits there silently.
there silently.
GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D)
Hey, yeah could I get a large Hey, yeah could I get a large pepperoni pizza?
pepperoni pizza? (Whisper) (Whisper)
Tom, should we get cheesy sticks? Tom, should we get cheesy sticks?
Tom looks at the message he sent his girlfriend. Tom looks at the message he sent his girlfriend.
TOM TOM Oh, no!
GABE GABE What?
What?
Tom hands his cellphone to Gabe. As
Tom hands his cellphone to Gabe. As Gabe read it his eyes getGabe read it his eyes get big.
big.
GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D) You’re kidding me?
You’re kidding me? Tom gravely shakes his head. Tom gravely shakes his head.
GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D) You just sent this?
You just sent this? Tom nods his head.
Tom nods his head.
Gabe addresses the pizza delivery people on the phone. Gabe addresses the pizza delivery people on the phone.
GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D)
Sorry, cancel that order. My friend Sorry, cancel that order. My friend just told his girlfriend he loves just told his girlfriend he loves her. After dating her for ONE WEEK! her. After dating her for ONE WEEK! The delivery boy on the other side
The delivery boy on the other side of the line can be of the line can be heardheard screaming. Gabe hangs up the phone.
screaming. Gabe hangs up the phone. GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D) What have you done?
What have you done? TOM
TOM
It’s can’t be that bad. It’s can’t be that bad.
GABE GABE
Dude, you’ve been dating her for Dude, you’ve been dating her for under a week. That’s really weird. under a week. That’s really weird.
TOM TOM
It is? Oh, man but I’m drunk. I It is? Oh, man but I’m drunk. I can’t be held responsible.
can’t be held responsible. GABE
GABE Has she responded? Has she responded? Tom check his
Tom check his cellphone.cellphone. TOM TOM No. No. GABE GABE
She’s probably thinking of how to She’s probably thinking of how to break up with you as we
break up with you as we speak.speak. TOM
TOM
I’ll call her. I’ll explain. I’ll call her. I’ll explain.
GABE GABE
No are you crazy? What’re you gonna No are you crazy? What’re you gonna tell her? “I got drunk and
tell her? “I got drunk and textedtexted you the “L” word. JK I
you the “L” word. JK I don’t reallydon’t really love you.”
love you.” TOM TOM Yeah that’s bad. Yeah that’s bad.
GABE GABE
You’re damned if you do, and damned You’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. if you don’t. TOM TOM Shoot. Shoot.
Tom’s phone suddenly rings. Gabe and Tom look at
Tom’s phone suddenly rings. Gabe and Tom look at eachother ineachother in horror.
horror.
Tom checks his phone. It’s a
Tom checks his phone. It’s a call from Veronica, Katie’scall from Veronica, Katie’s friend.
friend.
TOM (CONT’D) TOM (CONT’D) Oh it’s just
Oh it’s just Veronica.Veronica. GABE
GABE
Oh my God! The girl gossip Oh my God! The girl gossip
grapevine. She probably told all grapevine. She probably told all her friends. You’re gonna have to her friends. You’re gonna have to start a new life.
start a new life. He answers the phone.
He answers the phone. BEGIN INTERCUT BEGIN INTERCUT TOM TOM Hello? Hello? KATIE KATIE Tom? Tom?
A look of horror washes over his
A look of horror washes over his face.face. TOM TOM (Frantic whisper) (Frantic whisper) It’s Katie! It’s Katie! Gabe gasps. Gabe gasps. TOM (CONT’D) TOM (CONT’D) What’s up? What’s up?
KATIE KATIE
I’m hanging out with Veronica. I I’m hanging out with Veronica. I forgot my phone at my place. Just forgot my phone at my place. Just want
wanted ted to leo let yot you knu know.ow. TOM
TOM
Wait, so you don’t have your phone? Wait, so you don’t have your phone?
KATIE KATIE
Yeah I left it at home. But hey Yeah I left it at home. But hey I’ve gotta go. I won’t be
I’ve gotta go. I won’t be back tillback till late tonight. We’re gonna check out late tonight. We’re gonna check out that new club downtown. I’ll call that new club downtown. I’ll call you tomorrow.
you tomorrow. Tom can’t believe his luck. Tom can’t believe his luck.
TOM TOM
Talk tomorrow then... Talk tomorrow then...
KATIE KATIE Bye! Bye! END INTERCUT END INTERCUT GABE GABE What she say? What she say? TOM TOM
She left her phone at home. She left her phone at home.
GABE GABE
Then there’s still a
Then there’s still a chance.chance. TOM
TOM You don’t mean... You don’t mean...
GABE GABE
We’ve gotta go over to her
We’ve gotta go over to her placeplace and delete that text. It’s the only and delete that text. It’s the only thing that can save your
thing that can save your relationship.
relationship. TOM TOM
OK I’m in. She’ll be back
OK I’m in. She’ll be back laterlater tonight. We’ll need to move fast. tonight. We’ll need to move fast.
GABE GABE
Hold on, I’m not dressed for Hold on, I’m not dressed for
breaking and entering. Neither are breaking and entering. Neither are you.
you. LATER
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Gabe and Tom are dresses in
Gabe and Tom are dresses in all black jumpsuits. They lookall black jumpsuits. They look like burglars.
like burglars.
GABE GABE
Quick there’s no time to loose. Quick there’s no time to loose.
TOM TOM To the car! To the car!
INT. CAR - NIGHT INT. CAR - NIGHT
Quick cuts of starting the car, putting it in
Quick cuts of starting the car, putting it in gear andgear and speeding off.
speeding off.
CUT TO: CUT TO:
EXT. MCDONALD’S DRIVE THROUGH -
EXT. MCDONALD’S DRIVE THROUGH - NIGHTNIGHT Gabe is ordering off the menu.
Gabe is ordering off the menu. GABE
GABE
Let me get a number one. With a Let me get a number one. With a coke.
coke.
TOM TOM
I thought we were in a
I thought we were in a hurry.hurry. GABE
GABE
You know dude, even the hamburgular You know dude, even the hamburgular gets hungry sometimes.
gets hungry sometimes. They get their food and drive off. They get their food and drive off. LATER THAT NIGHT
LATER THAT NIGHT
EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Gabe’s car is parked in front of
Gabe’s car is parked in front of the complex.the complex.
INT. GABES CAR - NIGHT INT. GABES CAR - NIGHT
Gabe is eating his burger. They prepare for the
Gabe is eating his burger. They prepare for the heist.heist. TOM
TOM
We get in, delete the message and We get in, delete the message and get out.
GABE GABE Piece of cake. Piece of cake.
Gabe produces a gun from the side
Gabe produces a gun from the side door compartment.door compartment. TOM
TOM
Jesus! Put that thing away! You’re Jesus! Put that thing away! You’re gonna blows somebody’s head off. gonna blows somebody’s head off.
GABE GABE
What if we get into trouble? What if we get into trouble?
TOM TOM
You’re gonna make it worse if you You’re gonna make it worse if you start shooting that thing. Put it start shooting that thing. Put it away front Christ’s sake.
away front Christ’s sake. GABE
GABE
Fine, but when we need it
Fine, but when we need it you’reyou’re gonna feel pretty stupid when we gonna feel pretty stupid when we don’t have it.
don’t have it. TOM TOM
Whatever. Here, I brought us masks. Whatever. Here, I brought us masks.
GABE GABE
Cool let me see em. Cool let me see em.
TOM TOM I brought a
I brought a ski-mask.ski-mask. GABE GABE The classic. The classic. TOM TOM
And... Mitt Romney. And... Mitt Romney.
GABE GABE
Ooh, ooh, ooh! Dibs on Mitt Romney! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Dibs on Mitt Romney! They put their masks on.
They put their masks on. TOM TOM Ready? Ready? GABE GABE
Dude, I was born ready. Dude, I was born ready.
EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Gabe and Tom crouch outside Katie’s door. Gabe and Tom crouch outside Katie’s door.
GABE GABE
OK, how are we gonna get OK, how are we gonna get in?in?
TOM TOM
I brought my lock picking set. I brought my lock picking set. He takes a bobby pen
He takes a bobby pen and screw driver out of his and screw driver out of his pocket.pocket. GABE
GABE
Are you kidding? What’re you? Tommy Are you kidding? What’re you? Tommy Pickles? That won’t get the door Pickles? That won’t get the door open. open. TOM TOM Just watch. Just watch. LATER LATER
Tom struggles to pick the lock. Tom struggles to pick the lock.
GABE GABE
Face it, you don’t know what you’re Face it, you don’t know what you’re doing.
doing.
TOM TOM
Just give me a second. Just give me a second.
GABE GABE
I’m going back to the car.
I’m going back to the car. When IWhen I get back, we’re doing it my way. get back, we’re doing it my way. Gabe creeps back to the car.
Gabe creeps back to the car. Tom keeps trying to pick the
Tom keeps trying to pick the lock. Gabe runs up behind Tom lock. Gabe runs up behind Tom shouting... shouting... GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D) My waaay! My waaay!
He wields a samurai sword. Tom jumps out
He wields a samurai sword. Tom jumps out of the way. Gabeof the way. Gabe cuts the lock open. The door creaks open.
cuts the lock open. The door creaks open. TOM
TOM
Are you out of your
Are you out of your mind?mind? GABE
GABE
I opened it faster than you did. I opened it faster than you did.
TOM TOM
Let’s get inside before somebody Let’s get inside before somebody sees us.
sees us.
Gabe and Tom enter the darkened apartment. Gabe and Tom enter the darkened apartment.
INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
The room is pitch black. Advanced darkness. The door closes The room is pitch black. Advanced darkness. The door closes behind them, engulfing them in darkness. Gabe and Tom trip behind them, engulfing them in darkness. Gabe and Tom trip over themselves looking for the
over themselves looking for the light.light. They turn a lamp on.
They turn a lamp on. TOM TOM
OK let’s find her phone. I’ll check OK let’s find her phone. I’ll check her room.
her room.
GABE GABE
I’ll check the bathroom. I already I’ll check the bathroom. I already got the Mcgurgles.
got the Mcgurgles. TOM
TOM
Gross. I didn’t need to know that. Gross. I didn’t need to know that.
Gabe enters the bathroom and closes the door after him.
Gabe enters the bathroom and closes the door after him. Tom Tom heads for the bedroom.
heads for the bedroom.
INT. KATIE’S ROOM - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S ROOM - NIGHT
Tom searches everywhere for her phone. Quick cuts and edits. Tom searches everywhere for her phone. Quick cuts and edits.
INT. KATIE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT Gabe sits on the toilet. He
Gabe sits on the toilet. He struggles with his duty.struggles with his duty. GABE
GABE
What did I do to deserve this? God What did I do to deserve this? God why
why have have you you forsforsaken aken me?me?
INT. KATIE’S ROOM - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S ROOM - NIGHT
Tom has given up the search in the bedroom. Tom has given up the search in the bedroom.
TOM TOM
Where the heck is it? Where the heck is it? Tom heads to living room. He
Tom heads to living room. He tears the room apart looking fortears the room apart looking for the phone. the phone. TOM (CONT’D) TOM (CONT’D) Any luck? Any luck? Gabe shouts from the
Gabe shouts from the bathroom.bathroom. GABE (O.S.) GABE (O.S.) I’m a little busy! I’m a little busy!
TOM TOM
Can’t find it anywhere! Can’t find it anywhere!
INT. KATIE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Gabe’s business is finished. He gets up to
Gabe’s business is finished. He gets up to flush. He flushes.flush. He flushes. The toilet is clogged. He panics.
The toilet is clogged. He panics. GABE
GABE
Oh no, oh no oh no! Go down! Go Oh no, oh no oh no! Go down! Go down! I command you!
down! I command you!
He flushes again, making it worse. He checks for
He flushes again, making it worse. He checks for a plunger.a plunger. He can’t find one.
He can’t find one.
He franticly washes his hands and rushes out of
He franticly washes his hands and rushes out of the bathroom.the bathroom. Slamming the door behind him. He wears a
Slamming the door behind him. He wears a look of distress.look of distress. TOM TOM What? What? GABE GABE Oh, nothing. Oh, nothing. TOM TOM
Usually when people say, “oh Usually when people say, “oh
nothing” in response to, “what?” nothing” in response to, “what?” they’re hiding something.
they’re hiding something. Gabe backs away form
Gabe backs away form the bathroom cautiously.the bathroom cautiously. TOM (CONT’D)
TOM (CONT’D) What have you done? What have you done? Tom enters the bathroom.
Tom enters the bathroom.
TOM (O.S.) (CONT’D) TOM (O.S.) (CONT’D) OH MY GOD!
OH MY GOD!
He rushes out of the bathroom. He rushes out of the bathroom.
GABE GABE
I’m sorry, it’s Ronald
I’m sorry, it’s Ronald McDonald’sMcDonald’s fault.
fault.
TOM TOM
This is getting out of hand. This is getting out of hand.
GABE GABE
You’re right, let’s get out of You’re right, let’s get out of here!
here!
Gabe bolts for the door. Gabe bolts for the door.
TOM TOM
Wait! I still haven’t found the Wait! I still haven’t found the phone!
phone!
GABE GABE
Are you dense? Call it! Are you dense? Call it!
TOM TOM
Oh yeah! Of course. Oh yeah! Of course.
Tom takes out his cellphone and calls Katie’s phone. Tom takes out his cellphone and calls Katie’s phone. Ringing can be heard in the apartment.
Ringing can be heard in the apartment. TOM (CONT’D)
TOM (CONT’D) I hear it!
I hear it!
Tom rushes off to find it. Tom rushes off to find it.
GABE GABE Hurry up, man! Hurry up, man!
Tom finds the phone in another room. Tom finds the phone in another room.
TOM TOM Bingo!
Bingo!
He searches through her messages. He finds his and deletes He searches through her messages. He finds his and deletes it!
it!
INT. KATIE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Gabe waits in the living room. Gabe waits in the living room. TOM (O.S.) TOM (O.S.) I got it! I got it! GABE GABE
Good, let’s get out of here! Good, let’s get out of here!
The doorknob turns and Katie and Veronica walk through the The doorknob turns and Katie and Veronica walk through the door. They don’t notice Gabe standing there. They close the door. They don’t notice Gabe standing there. They close the door behind them.
door behind them.
Gabe grabs his gun and points it
Gabe grabs his gun and points it at the girls. He’s stillat the girls. He’s still weari
wearing tng the Mhe Mitt Ritt Romneomney may mask.sk.
GABE (CONT’D) GABE (CONT’D) Freeze!
Freeze!
The girls scream. Tom rushes to the living room. The girls scream. Tom rushes to the living room.
TOM TOM
What’re you doing? I told you not What’re you doing? I told you not to bring that thing.
to bring that thing. Katie recognizes Tom’s voice. Katie recognizes Tom’s voice.
KATIE KATIE Tom?
Tom?
The jig is up. Tom takes off his mask. The jig is up. Tom takes off his mask.
KATIE (CONT’D) KATIE (CONT’D) Why is Mitt Romney in my
Why is Mitt Romney in my house?house? TOM
TOM
Katie this is my friend, Gabe. Katie this is my friend, Gabe.
GABE GABE
Nice to meet you, I’ve heard so Nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much
much abouabout yot you.u. KATIE KATIE
Tom what’s going on? Tom what’s going on?
TOM TOM
I’m sorry. I sent you something I’m sorry. I sent you something embarrassing on accident. We broke embarrassing on accident. We broke in here to delete the message.
in here to delete the message. TOM (CONT’D)
TOM (CONT’D)
I don’t care about that Tom. I
I don’t care about that Tom. I lovelove you.
you.
TOM (CONT’D) TOM (CONT’D) I love you too.
I love you too. GABE GABE Awwwww! Awwwww! TOM TOM
We’ll just get out of your
We’ll just get out of your hairhair ladies. I’ll call you
ladies. I’ll call you tonight!tonight! KATIE
KATIE Great.
Great.
Gabe and Tom leave the apartment. Gabe and Tom leave the apartment.
EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Gabe and Tom High five.
TOM TOM
I guess we didn’t need to go I guess we didn’t need to go
through all that trouble after all. through all that trouble after all.
INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT INT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT Katie walks to the bathroom. Katie walks to the bathroom.
KATIE KATIE
I’ve been holding this in all I’ve been holding this in all night.
night.
She enters the bathroom. She enters the bathroom.
EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT EXT. KATIE’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Gabe and Tom are still outside. Katie can
Gabe and Tom are still outside. Katie can be heard screamingbe heard screaming inside the apartment.
inside the apartment.
KATIE (O.S.) KATIE (O.S.) OH MY GOD! WHAT THE
OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL?HELL? Gabe and Tom tear off
Gabe and Tom tear off screen towards the car.screen towards the car.
CUT TO BLACK: CUT TO BLACK: