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Content
Module 1:3‐27
Module 2:29‐41
Module 3: 42‐55
Module 4: 56‐73
Module 5: 75‐85
Case Studies:87‐95
Module 1: Pushing Her Curiosity Button
In the world of online dating, just like out in the “real world”, it is all about getting noticed. You have to stand out and get her attention. You have to stand out in the crowd. You HAVE to create curiosity for all attraction begins with curiosity. When we become curious about something or someone, our attention focuses, even if for a brief moment, and it is this attention that allows attraction to form and blossom. Think about any woman you have ever been interested in, I guarantee you something about her caught your attention. Even if it was just her stunning looks. After all how can you fall in love with someone who you don’t even know is there?
There are two main ways you can stand out and push a woman’s curiosity button online. First and most importantly is your profile. As you will soon learn, this is the most important piece of the online dating puzzle. Don’t worry I am going to show you exactly what to do and how to do it. It should only take you about 30 min to an hour to set it up but once you do it will be working for you day and night. It won’t be uncommon for you to wake up with messages from girls who found your profile and couldn’t help but write you! The cool thing is once you create one, you can use it on multiple sites with only minor adjustments. So make sure you take the time and put in the effort to set it up right using the principles I am about to show you.
The second part of pushing a woman’s curiosity button is the opening message. I am going to show you the common mistakes that guys make when writing a woman for the first time and why most of them never get responses. I am also going to show you some different of examples of successful opening messages and how you can create your own. So let’s jump right in and get started.
Creating A Profile That Gets Noticed
What Most Guys Are Doing Wrong
How to Market Yourself
How to Choose the Right Pictures
Writing Your “About Me” Section
Displaying Standards
Blogs, Notes, Quizes and Bulletins
Status Updates
A Quick Note on Myspace
Putting It All Together – Profile Breakdown
Wrap Up
Sending Out The Opening Message
What Most Guys are Doing Wrong
Browsing
Spotting a Fake
The Purpose of an Opening Message
The Anatomy of a Successful Opening Message
To Customize or Not to Customize
Different Strategies for Different Sites
Putting It All Together
When it comes to meeting women online there is no one piece more crucial than your profile. Your profile will make or break you every single time. With a properly set up profile women will forgive many mistakes. In fact, you will even have women opening you! However, with a lackluster profile, even girls who would normally be extremely interested in you will not respond no matter how good your first message is.Look at it this way, your profile is you own persona commercial. In the online world of dating you only have one quick shot to make a good impression. Just like a commercial, you have to hit as many points as possible to make her interested in the product…you!
Your profile is going to be your best friend. It is as if you have a personal promoter working for you 24/7. It is almost like going into a club/bar where your best friend has gone in before you and build you up to every attractive girl in the place so that the second you walk in they are all over you brimming with interest. I am not kidding. When it comes to online dating your profile is THAT important!
It is crazy. You can send out several messages one day and while you are hanging out with friends, studying, watching a movie, playing video games, reading a book or even on another date your profile will be working tirelessly attracting women and setting up dates for you. It is not uncommon for me to wake up to an inbox full of numbers of new, attractive women who are excited to go on a date with me. I hope you are beginning to see how crucial your profile is.
I am going to let you in on a little secret that I have learned from meeting up with hundreds of women from online. Most of them told me that they paid very little attention to my first message (although this is important as well and I will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know about sending out a irresistible first message) but went directly to my profile and it was my profile that convinced them to write back.
Here is what you ultimately want to accomplish with your profile:
You want to separate yourself from all the other guys out there. Lucky for you, most guys make the same mistakes and this system will put you way ahead of them.
You want to create intrigue. Once a woman opens your initial message you want her to go from “who is this guy messaging me?” to “I want to know who this guy is who is messaging me”. That subtle shift make all the difference in the world. And I am going to show you EXACTLY how to do it!
You want your profile to be so easy for a woman to read through that she can’t help but stay on your page until she is has read it all! By then you will be so far ahead of the other guys trying to message her it will be a walk in the park…and who doesn’t like a walk in the park?
WHAT MOST GUYS ARE DOING WRONG
So you want to set up an amazing profile that drives women wild and sets you apart from all the other guys out there spinning their wheels and getting no replies? I don’t blame you! But first of all let’s get into what most guys are doing wrong so you can make sure to avoid turning the majority of women off before you even have the chance to meet them.
What Most Guys Are Doing Wrong
You want to know the #1 mistake most guys are making when it come to setting up their profile? Here it is: They are marketing to other guys! How silly is that? They can’t get outside their own head and see it from a woman’s prospective. The think they need to be bad asses. It is as if their online profile is simply an extension of how they project themselves at bars, clubs and other social gatherings. They have to be cool and show every other guy around that they are cool. It becomes a pissing contest that pushes women away.
I don’t know about you but I want my online profile to appeal to woman. I want it to catch their attention and get them excited to meet me! It took me years to figure this stuff out but after A LOT of mistakes and hard work I figured out what works. If you want the same thing then listen up.
First of all let go of trying to look cool. I promise you the “cool” guy online is the guy who isn’t getting dates and isn’t getting laid. Here is what the “cool” guy is doing wrong:
Like I just said, he is trying to impress other guys which is pushing away women.
He chooses pictures that he thinks make him look “cool” instead of pictures that demonstrate different aspects of his personality.
He fails to set up his profile in a way that allows for a variety of women to connect with him but instead appears very one dimensional.
He doesn’t take the time to make his profile organized and easy to read so women give up because it is too much effort.
He adds either too much information and loses all mystery (bores her) or doesn’t put enough to engage a woman properly.
How To Do It Right
So how do you avoid making these mistakes and in the process set yourself apart…and by apart I mean put yourself in the top 1% of all guys out there meeting women online? Let me break down the most important principles that go into a ridiculously successful online profile.
Market yourself to women not other guys
How do you market to women? First off you have to let go of the ego driven need to be “cool”. Not taking yourself too seriously is a HUGE turn on for women. It sub-communicates a deep inner confidence that instantly sets you apart. One way to do this is by adding in a damaging admission. I’ll show you how to do that effectively in a minute.
Make it as easy as possible for her
When creating your profile make sure to pick a color scheme that makes the text easy to read. Too often I see guys profiles that are too busy. They have random pictures all over the place or flashing images that are very distracting. The worst is bright psychodelic colors that make the text unreadable. With online dating, a woman has no social pressure to respond to you and no social niceties that encourage her to stay on your profile. If it is hard for her to read or is so distracting it takes extra effort to find out about you she will just leave. Luckily most
online dating sites set it up in a format that at least separates your text into sections. However, it is up to you to make sure you have proper grammar, and write clear, concise sentences. As you will see shortly less is definitely more.
Chose pictures that show the diversity of your personality and paint you in a
favorable light
If the old adage is true: a picture is worth a thousand words, then you better be damn sure that each picture you choose is speaking volumes about who you are as a person. Here are some key points to remember when choosing which pictures to put up on your profile:
Tell a story
Make sure each picture you chose tells a story that demonstrates a specific, attractive aspect of your personality. For example do you love rock climbing?..then have one of you rock climbing. The positive part of your personality it shows is that you like to be outdoors, are in shape and are adventurous. How great is that? Are you an avid world traveler? Have a picture or two of you in exotic places around the world. Most women say they love to travel but have never really made it happen. Now they have a reason to be envious of you and it insinuates that you have great stories to tell, are adventurous, and go after what you want. Well done! Almost anything that is a hobby or passion of yours will work.
Variety is key!
Just as you want each picture to tell a story about you, you also want to make sure each picture tells a DIFFERENT story. If you like hokey (hey I am in Montreal right now) great but if every picture you put up is of you playing or watching hokey it paints you as a one dimensional person. One of the key things women are looking for in a guy is someone who can teach them new things. When they imagine themselves in your life (which I will show you how to do later on) they want to know you can add value to their lives. Will their time with you be full of fun, adventure, growth, new awesome social connections and new perspectives on life or will it be sitting around watching or talking about hokey all day. I am not saying some girl out there wouldn’t just love that but most will get bored, lose interest and go in search of someone else who can provide them the variety they crave. If you don’t have any pictures of you out doing a variety of interesting things then get you ass away from your computer right now, grab a digital or disposable camera and get out there!
Note:One way to ensure you are always growing as a person, have awesome stories and
pictures, be always increasing the value you have to offer other people (including all the cute women you are going to be meeting online because of this system) is to chose 1 thing each month that you have always wanted to do and do it. You have always wanted to go white water rafting….well look up where you can go, get a group of friends together (hey look you are starting to become the leader of your social circle…how very attractive you are
becoming) and just do it already! No excuses. Don’t let your life slip away always wishing you had done it. It doesn’t have to be anything as big as white water rafting either. It can be something as small as going to a museum, taking a one day sculpting class or learning how to play chess. I don’t care JUST DO IT! In addition, read one book, article or magazine in a NEW area of interest each month. Don’t kid yourself and say you don’t have enough time, it is all about priorities! Do you want to be the most attractive guy you can be? The start right now. It will pay off in spades I promise you. End of Sermon.
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have to demonstrate you understand and are part of her world. Even though a lot of what I am teaching you in this system are using universal principles of attraction, your profile will be much stronger if you customize it a bit to connect with the specific types of girls you are attracted to or that would fit in your lifestyle. Remember birds of a feather flock together. We are more attracted to people who are similar to us because we can relate to them. Just keep this in mind when you setting your profile up.
On the same note, it is crucial you have pictures with women of the same caliber as the ones you are going after. If you are going after models but have no pictures with women who are of model quality beauty then you are, for all practical purposes, shit out of luck. Like it or not, our society is divided up by perceived social value. We are all trying to increase our value to score a better mate. Now it is my belief that your main value comes from within but why make it harder on yourself than you need to. If you want to get a great breakdown of how value works, the 3 types of value women look for and how to increase yours in all 3 areas check out the programUNBREAKABLE. (insert link here)
If you don’t have any pictures with the types of women you are into it isn’t that hard to do. Just grab a camera, go out and when you see the type of woman simply use this highly effective opener developed by my buddy Brad Jackson(insert Hiroshima video with affiliate link)
Writing your “about me” section(s)
No matter which site(s) you are using, you are going to have to write an ABOUT ME section or something similar. In fact, on most sites there will be a bunch of sections where you are going to have to write about yourself. Here are some essential points to keep in mind:
Grammar and Clarity
Remember how I told you to make your profile as easy as possible for women to read? Well a big part of that is to actually make sense. If you use poor grammar and run on sentences not only does it make your profile arduous to read but also says something about you; namely you are either lazy or uneducated. With modern spell check you have no excuses. Have a friend proofread it if need be.
As far as clarity is concerned, just use this simple rule: If you can say what you are trying to say with less words…DO IT! You are not writing a novel here, you are trying to create curiosity so that a woman will keep reading and become engaged enough to write you back. That brings me to my next point.
Less is more
As I have said before, the point of your profile is to intrigue a woman. Two sure fire ways to extinguish her curiosity is to either giver her too little information or way too much. The best course of action is to put up just enough info to pique her curiosity to the point she is willing to dig deeper and find out more about you. Don’t worry I will show you exactly how to do just that.
Diversity = More opportunities
Just like with your pictures, the more diverse you are with your interests and other aspects of your personality, the more opportunities you create for her to connect with you. If you have the opportunity to list your hobbies, books, music, favorite movies or tv shows, make sure to sprinkle in fun one’s. Don’t be afraid to put in things that seem silly or things your think your friends would make fun of you for. They won’t be making fun when you have beautiful, fun girls constantly showing up.
One thing we all do is reminisce about our childhoods. This gives you are great opportunity to connect with a woman and give her opportunities to engage you! Remember what I said about doing all the work for her so it is as EASY as possible for her to fall for you? Simply put in popular movies, tv shows, cartoons, music artists, etc from when you were a kid. When you have a book like the Tao Te Ching next to Harry Potter or If You Gave a Mouse a Cookieit shows you have depth, even a bit of contradiction. This is a foundational tenant of intrigue. Any person who is one dimensional robs us of the joy of surprise and thus we become bored. And boredom is the stranglehold that chokes out all attraction and kills relationships before they ever get a chance to get off the ground.
Sense of humor
The top reason women write me on social networking and dating sites is because they thought my profile was fun to read. A sense of humor is consistently rated (along with confidence) by women as the most attractive quality in a man.
Apparently the possession of humor implies the possession of a number of typical habit-systems. The first is an emotional one: the habit of playfulness. Why should one be proud of being playful? For a double reason. Frist, playfulness connotes childhood and youth. If one can be playful, one still possesses something of the vigor and the joy of young life.. But there is a deeper implication. To be playful is, in a sense, to be free. When a person is playful, he momentarily disregards the binding necessities which compel him, in business and morals, in domestic and community life… What galls us is that the binding necessities do not permit us to shape our world as we please… What we most deeply desire, however, is to create our world for ourselves. Whenever we can do that, even in the slightest degree, we are happy. Now in play we create our own world..
-Professor H.A. Overstreet, Influencing Human Behavior
As you have learned in the beliefs section, not taking yourself too seriously is incredibly attractive. One fun way to do this is to add in a damaging admission. A damaging admission is something that shows you are human like the rest of us thus making you infinitely more relatable. Often on dating sites people are trying to seem like they are this perfect person. It makes sense, they want to come across as best they can. But we all know that no one is that perfect. So put up an embarrassing fact about yourself or talk about a fault you have in a fun way.
One I often put up is how I got a perm in the 5th grade because my mom had one and I thought it would be cool. I got mercilessly made fun of and cut it 3 days later but the point is it is a funny admission that gives women a chance to poke fun at me. It is a great
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Answer Questions to Display Your Personality
Probably the easies way to do all of this is to just create and answer questions that allow you the opportunity to display your personality. I do this no matter which site I am. Here are a few questions that I typically use:
If re-incarnation is real, in my past lives I was most likely: (shows your creativity and sense of humor)
The fasted ways to my heart are:
(shows her what she can do to win you over)
Important things I have learned from my past relationships: (shows you are evolving as a human being)
What I am doing with my life: (shows you have ambition)
6 Things I could never live without: (shows what you value)
What I am looking for in a Woman:
(shows you know who you are and what you want)
Message me if:
(shows you have standards)
6 things I still want to accomplish: (shows you have goals)
As you can see all of these questions allow you the perfect opportunity to display your personality and set yourself apart. Some of these I have picked up from various dating sites and some I have come up with on my own. Feel free to experiment.
Blogs, Notes, Quizes and Bulletins
On social media sites and some free/pay dating sites there are options to write a separate blog, note, or bulletin. These are great ways to allow girls to find out more about you. As I mentioned earlier, keep you “About Me” section short, easy to read and chalk full of fun aspects of your personality. This is just to get a girl interested enough to write you back or to even initiate a conversation with you. Here is what’s cool about blogs/notes/bulletins, a woman who’s curiosity button is pushed and is now intrigued will want to know more about you. She will go back to your profile and snoop around to see if there is anything she missed. When she finds your blog/note or bulletin she will be sure to read it. Here is a great
opportunity for you to add more information to further boost her attraction and move forward to the next button. Just look how powerful these can be:
Hi all,
been a long time since i had a chance to write, hope y’all doing well
a year ago i put a variation of Race’s ‘why i’m still single’ note on facebook and its still getting comments!
just the other day i got a friend request from a girl who with another girl at uni read my post previously, i inquired that she was adding me to see the note and her answer that was the following:
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Friends. You need to have at least a basic number of friends. Not only because it shows how “social” you are (paramount since this is a social networking site) but you need friends for comments.
Comments. One of the reasons you need to constantly be uploading new pictures and updating your status is to get comments. Comments show that you are social and that other people accept you. This is essential for a woman on facebook to see when she is judging if you are a real, attractive and worth her time.
For these reasons, I use facebook much more to befriend and keep in contact with girls I either meet in person or meet online and have already dated or are currently dating. This in no ways means you cannot meet new women to date on facebook. On the contrary, I have met many and still do to this day. However, free and paid online dating sites, along with social networking sites where you can search, make it so easy to meet an unlimited amount of hight quality awesome girls that I use them much more often.
A quick note on Myspace
No Myspace is not dead and yes I still meet women on there. With that said, my Myspace profile is set up a little different. Instead of writing an about me section, I just embed pictures that “show” my life and my interests. This is because Myspace allows for html code to embed elements directly on your page.
You can check out my profile here: http://www.myspace.com/racedepriest
I will do a total breakdown of setting up an awesome myspace page in the Insiders Club so be looking for that. But here are the two main codes you need for embedding pictures and hiding you friends list (which is especially helpful if you are just starting off and it comes off as mysterious)
embed pictures:
First you have to upload your pictures to an image hosting site like www.photobucket.com or myspace itself.
Next, paste the following HTML code into any section (i.e. About Me, Interests, Who I’d like to Meet):
<img src=”http://www.imagehost.com/images/pic.jpg” width=”400” /> <br /><div><font size=+2>Picture caption</font></div>
Where “http://www.imagehost.com/images/pic.jpg” will be re- placed with the URL pointing to your image and “Picture caption” will be replaced with your caption.
By specifying the width property in the<img> tag you ensure that your photos will have a consistent width (the height of the image will be adjusted automatically to maintain the original aspect ratio). This technique will ensure that your images are not too large and that they’re easy to view.
<style type=”text/css”> td.text td.text table table table, td.text td.text table br, td.text td.ztext table .orangetext15, td.text td.text .redlink, td.text td.text span.btext {display:none;} td.text td.text table {background-color:transparent;} td.text td.text table td, td.text td.text table {height:0;padding:0;border:0;} td.text td.text table table td {padding:3;} td.text td.text table table br {display:inline;} </style>
And here is the site I used to make my profile layout:
http://www.my-myspace-layouts.com/thomas-myspace-editor
If you have any questions feel free to ask and be sure to check out the video in the Insiders Club
Putting It All Together
So you can get a clearer picture of what this all looks like put together I am going to show you my actual plenty of fish profile and my OkCupid profile. Please do not copy it word for word but do notice how all the elements come together to make a profile that sticks out and get’s noticed by women.
OkCupid PlentyofFish
Wrap Up
So I hope by now you understand all the elements that go into making a truly “stand out” profile. The cool thing is you only have to put in the work once and then your profile works for you indefinitely. However, if you fail to put in the time and effort to set up your profile right you might as well stop right now. It might just be the single most important piece of the puzzle. AS one blogger puts it:
Only 10% of people who join Online Dating sites actually get any replies and that is a truly sad fact.
The reason is that 90% don’t bother to write an interesting profile or upload pictures of themselves.
That’s a lot like fishing without baiting the hook. I wonder what they expected. The 10% who do get noticed have posted upbeat profiles and pictures.
I have given you all the tools and principles here to be the “10%” so to speak so stop reading this right now and go set up your profile right. Seriously, don’t even bother going to the next part until you apply these principles to your current profile or create a new one on the social networking or dating site(s) of your choice. Go ahead I’ll wait.
The second part to pushing a woman’s curiosity button and creating engagement is the opening message you send her. Although not NEARLY as important as how you set up your profile, if you do it wrong you will be shooting yourself in the foot. Image the opening messages as the tasty bait and your profile as the hook. Before I get into how to make your “bait” irresistible I need to explain what most guys are sending out so you can see why a majority of them are having little to no results with online dating.
What Most Guys Are Doing Wrong
When I was first starting out learning how to meet women online, I would have the girls I was meeting send me over typical messages that guys were sending them. I discovered something startling; almost every single guy was sending 1 of 2 types of messages. Message type #1
A short message that tells her how attractive she is and then suggests they hang out (usually with a tremendous amount of grammatical error).
“wat up momma u look hot. we shud hang sum time. holla at me.” I am seriously not joking.
or
Message type #2
A guys writes a LOOOOONG message explaining all the reasons why they are perfect for each other. In other words, he tries to sell himself to her usually while pining on about how gorgeous she is, how well he would treat her and how successful he is.
Is it any wonder these guys are not getting responses? Don’t worry if you have done a
variation of either of these. I am going to show you how to do it right. But first let’s go over a few things to keep in mind when searching for girls to message.
Spotting a Fake Profile
There are many fake profile on Social Networking sites and free dating sites. There are less so on payed dating sites but still you will want to know what to look for to keep you from wasting your time.
Sure signs that the hot girl’s profile you are looking at is fake are:
only one picture (probably the biggest indicator)
hasn’t filled out her information or the grammar is way off
has a link to naughty pictures she couldn’t put on MySpace/Facebook/Etc
has no friends or way too many friends (social networking sites)
the only comments she has are from lame ass guys saying, “Hey sexy”, “Happy Humpday” or “Hey babe … thanks 4 the add” (social networking sites)
If you see any of these signs, just move on as it is a fake profile and you are wasting your time.
The Art of Browsing
Every free and paid online dating site let’s you search for woman based on a variety of criterion (eg. location, age, height, ethnicity, religion, body type, hair colore, eye colore, etc). You can literally search for exactly what you want in a woman. Many social networking sites allow you to do this as well. My personal advice on browsing on Social Networking sites is to always select single or divorced from the options. Why waste your time messaging woman who are not looking?
Once you have figured out what you are looking for do the search. There will be a list of women with pictures and a brief intro to their profiles or basic information. If you want to maximise your time simply hold down the CONTROL key (APPLE OR COMMAND on a Mac) and click on all the women that you might want to message. This will open them all up in new tabs. Now you can go through and message all the ones you want without having to go back and forth searching every time.
Facebook and Browsing for New Women
You can no longer search from woman on facebook. If anyone figures out a way please let me know. The best work arounds I have found to meet new women on facebook are as follows:
-Find friends of friends
-Search for a random name (such as typing in Jessica…facebook will give you all the Jessica’s in your area first)
-Go to groups and find one in your area (eg. local university or museum)
None of these are perfect since you can’t always tell if she is single. There is a definite delicacy to contacting friends of friends but I will show you how to do it in a bit. Facebook is FAR better as relationship management tool with girls you meet on other sites.
The Purpose of an Opening Message
Ok now that you have a bevy of beautiful woman to message let’s go over how to send out a successful opening message that sets you apart from the pack and piques her curiosity. Let me start with the main purpose of the opening message.
The primary goal of an opening message is to be read and to receive a response. Nothing more. You just need to make it through all her shields and generate enough curiosity to go check out your profile and then, thanks to having the coolest profile ever, receive a response. Once you receive a response, you can transition into a conversation that demonstrates what a great, fun and exciting guy you are, but without the initial response, you have no
conversation. Remember the only purpose of the opening message is to get the conversation going. Soon, she won’t even remember how the conversation started because she’s having too much fun talking to you.
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jump in the courting process and this shows I am not talking the situation or myself too seriously. This is a major reprieve for her from the usual barrage of boring emails she normally gets. She can’t help but smile and then go check out my profile. Bingo!
The major hook in here is the question “will you marry me?”. This makes it super easy for her to respond. She doesn’t have to think too hard because you have handed her the conversation topic on a silver platter.
In addition, this opener allows the possibility of role-play (something I will go into much more detail later).
Example #2
Subject: So….. Body:
after a rigorously brief overview of your profile I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind.
Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories… you will always have a special place in my heart.
your ex-hubby, (name)
ps. I am going to need half your money according to our prenup pps. You can keep the dog and I will keep the house in Hawaii
Breakdown: Although longer than most of my openers, this one has an incredible response
rate. The reason being it has a ridiculous amount of hooks for her to grab onto to and is unlike anything she has ever received before. This opener virtually guarantees a role-play scenario from the start making it very easy to begin Pushing Her Playfulness Button.
Example #3
subject: To the point…
body: You seem really fun and super cute And since it is freezing out side could you make me some hot chocolate and knit me a scarf? You can bring them on our date next week! Thanks
(note: this is a high risk – high reward opener)
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—————————————————- From: Her
Date: Oct 24, 2007 11:16 PM
creativity?! i am not creative that sucks! About me….my favorite subject…not!! I work a lot (like 7 days a week) and party almost as much…what about you Mr. Victim of my
molesting?
—————————————————-
As you can see, in both examples the conversation has got to the point where I can take it on many different conversational threads. Soon she will be having so much fun talking to you she won’t even care what started the conversation.
Facebook, Openers and Friend Requests
Facebook is unique because, as far as I can tell (and believe me I have tried) there is no way to easily search for women based on criterion you choose. This makes it tougher since you can’t always tell if she is single and if she is a friend of a friend you run the risk of spoiling your social network by gossip if you mess up too badly. For most cases using a “My Mistake” opener keeps you in the clear. But what do you do if she is already a friend? It is quite simple actually. If she has been a friend a friend for a while you can simply start out by saying something like, “how do we know each other again?” This puts you in a great position. First off, she will go check out your profile to see how she knows you. If you have it set up correctly (awesome pictures, plenty of friends, fun updates, comments, etc) then you already started shifting in her mind from “how do I know this guy” to “I am curious to know who this guy is”. Secondly, since you are the one asking the question it is as if you are the suspicious one who doesn’t just let anyone be their friend. You will learn more about displaying standards later.
In Action:
Race June 12 at 12:10pm
hey how do we know each other btw? —————-
Alexis June 16 at 6:21pm hey
hm I don’t think we do lol, probably from AYI… ——————
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No matter what she says I will guess where I “thought” I knew her from. Make sure to make it something fun that she would want to do so that you could invite her to do later on in the conversation.
If You Get “Caught” Using The Same Opener
It is bound to happen. You’ve messaged a girl and she replies that either you or some other guy sent her the same message. There are several ways to handle this. The easiest is to just click next and move on. However, the fact that she responded means she is still interacting with you. As long as she is doing that, it is possible to bring her around. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
Here are some examples of things you could say if you sent her the same message twice on accident:
-I must have really wanted to talk to you…haha {change subject}
-My mistake. I hit my head while {something silly i.e. mud wrestling, cliff diving, etc.} Let me make it up to you. Here is a joke my nephew told me today…
-I just wanted to give myself a second chance to make a better first impression…haha…j/k {change subject}
If she received the same message from someone else you could use any of these: -I can’t help it that so many people want to be like me…haha {change subject} -Really? Which one of us is cuter?…haha {change subject}
-That was my evil twin. I swear I’m the good one…haha {change subject}
Wrap Up
And there you have it. With a kick ass profile and an engaging opening message to set you apart you are ready to start messaging women. So get out there and start doing it right now! When you get an inbox full of beautiful women excited to talk to you move on to the next section, Pushing Her Playfulness Button.
Module 2: Push her playfulness button
So you have sent out some awesome opening messages that have caught a woman’s attention and got her curious enough to check out your profile. After looking over your profile she was so intrigued she couldn’t help but write you back. Congratulations, you have just successfully pushed her curiosity button enough to bring you to the next phase of the interaction. Here is where you are going to transition into a fun and playful conversation, allowing the spark of curiosity to turn into full on flirting. This is where it starts to get fun!
Note: No matter what, in the initial stages of your interaction you want to direct the
conversation in a playful manner. It is much easier to knock down peoples barriers with humor than to be serious. Being serious has a tendency to cause people to be defensive or bore them. This is the opposite of pushing her Playful Button.
Messaging Fundamentals
Before we jump in on how to transition from the opening message into a full blown
conversation full of flirting and fun there are some fundamental guidelines that you will want to keep in mind as the interaction progresses. These are guiding principles not law.
It’s Not a Big Deal
Remember at all times IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL. If you ever open your inbox and see a message from a girl you’ve been talking to and start to get nervous (I’ve done it too), take a deep breath, and remember IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL. Her response says nothing about you. She cannot hurt you, upset you, reject you, or even make you happy. That is up to you. You are in control. She is a picture and a few lines of text. Nothing she says has anything to do with you. It is her response to the fun, playful, and charming messages you are sending. If she doesn’t want to be fun and playful back she is not the type of girl you would want to meet up with anyway. There are millions of girls on Match, OkCupid, PlentyofFish, MySpace,
Facebook and other social networking sites. Just click next.
Part of having the attitude of a powerful, attractive male is not to be affected by other people’s opinions or responses. You know who you are and what you want. If you do get an apparently negative response, just use phrases like, “Wow you sure are a feisty one,” “Calm down there cowgirl, I’m just having some fun. You’re kinda cute when you’re all riled up.. haha” etc., and then just push on towards your desired outcome. Every now and then, you will receive a blatantly angry response with something like, “Why are you writing me?”, “I have a boyfriend,” “I hate guys like you,” etc. This has nothing to do with you. It is her personal problem. Delete the message and move on. However, if you get a significant number of messages like this, then you may need to re-evaluate what you are doing and fine tune it.
Use Emoticons and Short hand in Place of Non-Verbal Communication
Since most in-person communication is done through non-verbal cues such as body language, vocal tonality, facial expressions, etc. it is critical to use emoticons, acronyms and initialisms (words that describe bodily reactions ie lol, haha) to create the mood you’re intending to communicate. As you will see in many of the examples, we will end a statement with: