A Message from Rabbi Schuck

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A Message from

Rabbi Schuck

NOVEMBER 2013 5774 CHESVAN/KISLEV

Dear Friends,

In an engaging and lively interview, the Lutheran minis- ter Nadia Bolz-Weber discussed the phenomenon that within religious communities, people often feel hurt by the pastor and let down by the community. It’s natural, maybe even inevitable. In human relationships there will be moments of disappointment, and this is all the more true in religious communities because our expectations are so high. We expect synagogue or church communities to behave in ways that exemplify our religious doc- trines and teachings, and when they hurt us, the pain can feel more magnified.

So what happens after someone is hurt?

Some people feel so disheartened that they begin to back away from the community, or they begin to dispar- age the community to other individuals who will listen.

Others deal with their disappointment head on, discuss- ing their feelings and experience with the clergy or lay leadership. Needless to say, the former is easier, but it almost never leads to healing.

Pastor Bolz-Weber openly discusses this phenomenon.

At programs in which her church welcomes new members she says to them, “I'm glad you love it here, but..at some point, I will disappoint you or the church will let you down. Please decide on this side of that happening…

[that] after it happens, you will still stick around. Be- cause if you leave, you will miss the way that God's grace comes in and fills in the cracks of our brokenness.

And it's too beautiful to miss. Don't miss it.” Her descrip- tion of Grace may be very Christian, but the exhortation to work through the inevitable grievances that her pa- rishioners have is universally applicable to religious communities.

It is precisely when people are happy and satisfied with the synagogue that we ought to ask them to commit to addressing their objections when we fail to meet their needs. Synagogues make mistakes. After all, the community is comprised of human beings. I will also disappoint you. But I can guarantee that when I, or the synagogue leadership hurts your feelings, it will be unintentional.

Knowing this may not hurt any less, but it ought to create an opening for dialogue.

Out of respect for the relationships that we all share and work hard to cultivate, let’s make a commitment to openly grapple with our disappointments when we experience them. It is often easier to send a nasty email or gossip with a friend about the ways that the synagogue behaved poorly. It may even feel better in the moment.

But when we are productive with our frustration we ac- tually bring healing into our relationships and thus strengthen our community.

The pride that we feel about belonging to this community should generate enough goodwill to support difficult conversations. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to take that first step.

L’shalom,

Rabbi David A. Schuck

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The Pelham Jewish Center

451 Esplanade

Pelham Manor, NY 10803 Phone: 914-738-6008 Fax: 914-931-2199 Email: [email protected] Web: www.thepjc.org Clergy and Staff

Rabbi David Schuck Ana Turkienicz, Education Director Adam Bukowski, Caretaker

Kim Lewis, Office Manager

The PJC is affiliated with The United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism

Board of Directors

President Kate Lauzar

Executive Vice President Hildy Martin

Treasurer Melanie Samuels

Secretary Rhonda Singer

Religious Practices Steve Martin

Membership Sandy Angevine

Social Action Rachel Collens

Fundraising Lisa Daley

House Darren Lee

Communications Jack Klebanow Learning Center Liz Tzetzo Youth Programming Michelle Dvorkin Family Programming Gabrielle Sasson PROGRAM COORDINATORS

B’nei Mitzvah Project Cheryl Goldstein Continuing Education Jeanne Radvany Hakol Kim Lewis Kiddush Coordinator Leah Leonard

From the Editor ….

As the Pelham Jewish Center completes its first ever comprehensive Strategic Planning, and the leadership works hard to fashion vision, mission and values’ statements that reflect the aspirational goals of our growing and dynamic membership, so the monthly Hakol is looking ahead. Our goals are to re-think, re-design and re-work the Hakol over time, with a new look and feel, new columns, and a fresh perspective on how it can best serve as a reflection of our unique, intimate, forward-thinking synagogue.

For the Hakol this is, by definition, a work in progress … changes will be tried and kept, others will disappear quickly!

We hope to experiment with new approaches and new styles, and we urge you to offer feedback in a constructive and positive spirit. In the weeks and months ahead, we will also be working on upgrading and enhancing our website, www.thepjc.org, and we will keep you posted here and in Weekly Announcements of new features.

PJC members come from a variety of backgrounds, and have wide ranging experiences and knowledge of Judaism. All are welcome. I urge you to come, to show up, to share our wonderful home, come for Shabbat services or holidays, to pray, sing, eat, and find companionship. You can always catch up with old friends and quickly make new ones too. Our members - like you and I - are committed to getting to know and supporting one another, and sharing important moments and meaningful conversations. Bring your children too - it’s hard to imagine a better place for our young people to grow up - in a synagogue they truly can call their own, with friends of all ages, in a setting beyond compare. Just come!

I hope to see you soon,

Jack Klebanow

The HAKOL is published 11 times per year. Sub- missions are due by the 15th of the month pre- ceding publication. Please send articles via email to Kim Lewis at [email protected], with copies to [email protected].

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A WORD FROM THE PRESIDENT

In the parlor meetings that were conducted as part of the Strategic Planning process, there were 2 key data points collected that revealed areas that needed further work.

One was communication and the other was a feeling of disconnection from the work of the Board. In an effort to address these weaknesses, I would like to take this opportunity to give you an update on the "state of the Board".

Historically, the Board has been used as a large commit- tee. In past years, each chairperson would report on the business in his/her area and use the larger group as a fo- rum in which to conduct that chair's ongoing business. In this operational mode, the Board used its time almost exclusively on mechanics and execution of events and programs, which left almost no time to delve into the deeper, core questions of purpose, and how-- or whether- - the events and programs being planned supported and gave expression to who we are.

This year, we have undertaken an important shift of prior- ity in how we are using the Board's time. In a fundamental shift, we are embarking on a course of reimagining how the Board will do its work. We have started by making a structural change in how we conduct daily affairs. As men- tioned in last month's HAKOL, we are in the process of creating a team structure supporting each Chair in his/her operational area. Each team, together with the Chair, will handle the decision making and execution of business in that area of responsibility. Chairs will keep the full Board informed as needed, but will not conduct lengthy reviews of the details of the team's operations at each board meeting as a matter of course.

We expect that this shift will take some time to put fully into practice, and hope to have all teams in place by the start of the new year. At this writing, Learning Center, Re- ligious Practice and Social Action have fully formed teams.

The other areas are actively seeking team members: Com- munications, Finance, Fundraising, House(facilities), Young Family Programming and Youth Programming.

In addition to the structural change, we are beginning a conversation, guided by Rabbi Schuck, about what it means to be a leader of our community. We are thinking together about how to create a more compelling culture around volunteerism and leadership, and about what it means to serve on the Board. We are planning an offsite

local retreat for a Sunday afternoon in December to make the space to explore these issues together as a leadership team.

Giving each Board member expanded support for daily operations in his/her area will allow the entire Board to concentrate a greater por-

tion of its work together on substantive core and longer-term issues. With the findings from the Stra- tegic Planning process now in hand, clearly indicating decisions that need to be made, we find ourselves in the exact right moment to devote time to discussions of foundational questions and core beliefs. The shift in the way the Board uses its time will afford the opportunity to do exactly that.

As we look toward sustaining the PJC well into the future, it is important that we anchor our community in a meaningful, resonant purpose. It is important to share honest conversations about how we can: continue to be a vibrant hub of engaged Jewish life; offer a safe and sacred space for individuals to explore their spirituality; provide meaningful experiences and opportunities for connection; ac- tualize the vision of who we are, and who we aspire to be, in our every day communal life.These issues are com- plex, yet essential to wrestle with if we want to remain vital and fresh.

We believe this new model will strengthen the efficient running of the business of the synagogue, while also en- suring our long-term health and continued vibrancy. As leaders of our very special community, we feel energized by this new course, and look forward to the work before us.

P.S. As always, I would love to have a more in depth conversation with anyone who is interested. Contact me any time at [email protected] or 914-654-9486.

L'shalom, Kate

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A MESSAGE FROM THE EDUCATION DIRECTOR

From the prayer “Al Hanissim”- added to the Amidah during Hanukkah: “We light these lights for the miracles and the wonders, for the redemption and the battles that you made for our forefathers, in those days at this sea- son, through your holy priests. During all eight days of Hanukkah these lights are sacred, and we are not per- mitted to make ordinary use of them except for to look at them in order to express thanks and praise to Your great Name for Your miracles, Your wonders and Your

s a l v a t i o n s . ”

So we got lucky (?!) to experience a one in a 70,000 years’

life-time “Thanksgivukkah”!

This year, the second night of Hanukkah will fall on Thanks- giving Day. Such a memorable moment! Certainly something to tell the future generations…

But what exactly will we tell the future generations? What will be the narrative we will like our great-grandchildren to remember and re-tell about the day when Hanukkah and Thanksgiving were celebrated at the same time in America?

I link this question to a larger one: What do we want our great-grandchildren to remember as formative components of their Jewish identity? We know that the messages we tell today, the actions we perform, are the ones which will impact the continuity of Jewish people in America and in the world. And it matters.

Wow! How did we become so serious about this trivial coincidence? Well, it is a fact that both Thanksgiv- ing and Hanukkah are holidays that are widely practiced by Jews in America. Both holidays easily mesh with Na- tional American ideals, as well as provide a sweet and tender moment for family gathering. Therefore, they became favorites in our Jewish-American traditions.

Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of rededication, also known as the festival of lights, is an eight day festival beginning on the 25th day of the Jewish month of Kislev.

The story of Hanukkah tells about the period of 167-165 BCE, when Judah Maccabee led a revolt against the Se- leucids (Greeks), who had invaded Jerusalem, looted the Great Temple (Beit Ha-Mikdash), massacred Jews and outlawed Judaism. In 165 BCE, The Maccabees recap- tured the Temple, rededicating it on the 25^th of Kislev. In

Hebrew, “Hanukkah” means “Inauguration”. Others ex- plain that the word Hanukkah is an acronym to the words “they stopped (Hanu: Het, Nun, Vav) on the 25^th (Kaf-Hei - the number 25) meaning: “They stopped” [the fighting/the war] on the 25^th [of Kislev]”. Additionally, the Hebrew root “H,N,C” also means “education” – Chinuch: what lessons will we learn and teach from this story? The rabbinical narrative emphasizes the miracle of the oil that lasted for eight days to light the Menorah during the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem, em- phasizing the “Light” and how the Temple and the Torah enlighten the world from Jerusalem. Other historians attribute the reason for the eight-day celebration to the belated celebration of Sukkot, Jewish festivals were for- bidden by the Seleucids’ laws. Sukkot was also an an- cient thanksgiving festival, expressing our gratitude to God for the the summer harvest and praying for another rainy winter season.

In any case, it seems plausible that the first pilgrims were knowledgeable of this thanksgiving nature of Suk- kot, applying it to their authentic reasons for Thanksgiv- ing. Both Hanukkah and Sukkot embody the yearning for giving thanks- for redemption, for G-d’s protection and miracles, as well as the commandment to retell these narratives. Let’s have our own family celebrations filled with personal narratives of meaning and unique thanks giving for our lives as Jews in America and in the world!

In 1986, Holocaust survival Manfred Anson (1922-2012) created the “Statue of Liberty Menorah”, with nine branches topped by copies of the Statue of Liberty. In its base, he inscribed the history of the fight for Jewish lib- eration, ending with the Creation of the State of Israel. It is clear why a Holocaust survivor, living in America, would connect between the Jewish and the American narratives when celebrating the centennial of the Statue of Liberty. What are our unique Jewish connections in this Thanksgivukkah? How are we making them relevant to our children and the next generations, making it an authentic reflection of what it means for us to be Jews in America in 2013? This year, let’s make it really memorable!

Chag Hanukkah Sameach and Happy Thanksgiving, Ana Turkienicz

Education Director

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High Holiday

Fundraising Update

We are happy to report we have passed the halfway mark in our High Holiday campaign. We are hoping to wrap up this 2013 appeal in the next few weeks.

As such, in the next week or so, some of you may re- ceive a reminder regarding your participation. Thank you so much for your consideration and generosity. In order for the PJC to remain strong, vibrant and meaningful to our community, it takes all of us. All contributions count, no contribution is insignificant.

If you would like a pledge form mailed to you and/or have any questions, please contact me,

Lisa Daley, at [email protected] or 914.494.7181.

The pledge form is also available online at the PJC website (www.thepjc.org).

BREAKFAST RUN

Sunday, November 3rd

at 7:00 AM

The PJC is going on a Breakfast Run – an early morning version of a Midnight Run - in New York City.

The Breakfast Run involves distributing a hot breakfast to the homeless that we will be purchasing.

Anybody who would like to make a financial donation should contact Rachel Collens (payments should be made to the PJC).

We are also collecting:

 NEW men’s underwear, undershirts and socks

 Men’s clothes

 Winter coats, hats and gloves

 Blankets

There is a collection bin in the front hall closet to drop off these items. If you have any questions, or would like to participate , please contact Rachel Collens at [email protected]

SOUP KITCHEN

Thank you to the Levine, Driesen, Singer , Yelsey, Hersh-Rubock, Collens, Perrotti, Levitz, Prigot-Hovaness and Dukess -Liesman Families for providing a hearty and healthy dinner to the Soup Kitchen on October 8^th.

The PJC will be cooking and serving for the Community Services Associates Soup Kitchen on Tuesday, November 5^th

The menu is as follows:

 Value pack of chicken breasts UNCOOKED

 One box of instant mashed potatoes

 Salad

 Brownies

If you would like to participate:

 Contact Adam Lauzar at home 914-654-9486, cell phone 914-419-1252 or email at [email protected]

 Purchase the menu items for 10 adults

 Drop the food off at Adam’s house (81 Vaughn Avenue, New Rochelle, 10801) as early as Sunday, November 3^rd and no later than 1pm on Tuesday November 5^th.

 If you would like to serve at the Soup Kitchen, let Adam know and be there at 4:50pm on November 5^th. The address is 115 Sharpe Boulevard, Mt. Vernon, NY

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PJC with Bronx Jewish Community Council ...

Project HOPE

Hanukah Package Delivery

Sunday, November 17th

9am-11:30am

Share the joy of the holidays by

bringing along friends and family to deliver 3-5 Hanukah packages to lonely, home-bound or needy Jewish elderly. Or sponsor a package if

you are unable to come - only $25!

For more info on where, what and how, please contact Niti Minkove, Director of Volunteers at [email protected] or (917) 693-3084

Join us!

Joel Chasnoff to Speak

November 23

Shabbat morning

Joel Chasnoff, comedian and PJC member, will speak about his service in the Israeli Army, in- cluding a tour of duty in South Lebanon. Lots of laughs and lots of insights. His book, The 188th Crybaby Brigade is in stores now. For more info,

please visit www.joelchasnoff.com.

THANKSGIVING-IN-A- BOX

The annual Thanksgiving-in-a-Box food drive for needy families, now in its 7th year, has become an interfaith Pel- ham event. This year the drive will be coordinated through the Pelham Jewish Center, Huguenot Memorial Church, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Christ Church, St. Catharine's Parish and the Community Church of the Pel- hams. The Pelham volunteers will be partnering with Family Services of Westchester and providing boxes of food to families in their Port Chester, Tarrytown, Mount Vernon, Yonkers, White Plains and Pelham locations.

It is halachically permissible to purchase non-kosher food in order to donate it to an impoverished family. If one is interested in learning the halachic sources about this, feel free to contact Rabbi Schuck.

HOW CAN YOU PARTICIPATE? It is really simple!

STEP 1: Contact: Rachel Collens at rachelcol-

[email protected] & let her know you'd like to put together a

box.

STEP 2. Pick up a box at the Pelham Jewish Center is marked with your name on it . This is important as we need to keep track of how many boxes we are delivering.

Boxes will be available for pick up beginning Friday, November 1, 2013.

STEP 3. Buy the food items (outlined below) and pack the box.

STEP 4. Bring the box to the Huguenot church kitchen (located in the basement) by 5pm on Tuesday, November 19, 2013.

Boxes may be delivered as early as 9:00 AM on Saturday, November 16th but not before.

Thanksgiving-in-a-Box items include:

1 pre-cooked sliced spiral ham (8-10 pounds – you will find these in the meat section of your gro- cery store. Please, no canned hams)

2 (28-32oz) bags of rice 3 (15 oz) cans corn 3 (15 oz) cans peas

1 (5 pound) bag of potatoes –approximately 12 potatoes

1 (3 pound) bag of apples - approximately 8-10 apples

1 (1 pound) box of pasta –any kind

1 (24 oz) jar of tomato sauce 1 bag/container of cookies

2 (64oz) containers juice (please no cider or anything that needs to be refrigerated!)

NOTE: Everything will fit inside the box except for the ham.

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Kiddush Korner

Our PJC Kiddush represents a wonderful conclusion to the meaningful Saturday morning Shabbat service. It is a time to connect with fellow congregants, welcome new members & guests, and include our children in the weekly traditions. The weekly Kid- dush is a special way to celebrate a simcha--birthdays, anniversaries, and graduations are just a few occasions to acknowledge.

It is also customary to observe a yahrzeit by sponsoring a Kiddush in memory of a loved one.

Sponsorship is simple—we do it all, from menu planning to set-up and clean-up. Kiddush package options start at just $150.

Please contact PJC Kiddush Coordinator Leah Leonard at [email protected] to reserve now for fall 2013 or upcoming winter / spring 2014 occasions. Thank you for helping to maintain a special PJC tradition! Sign up for a Kiddush! Choose from one of the following dates:

The PJC thanks the following congregants for hosting a Kiddush last month:

October 5 Irwin & Diane Friedman, in honor of Irwin’s birthday

October 12 David & Jeanne Radvany, In honor of Rachel reading her Bat Mitzvah haftarah October 19 Andrew & Sharon Harrison, In honor of Jillian’s Bat Mitzvah

October 26 Anonymous

Intergenerational Class

for Families with 8

^th

graders and up

Thursday evening, December 12

Rabbinic Intern Lauren Henderson will teach an intergenerational class geared towards families with children in 8^th grade or older on Thursday eve- ning, December 12. Save the date and stay tuned for more details!

This is going to be a great and unique opportunity to spend time with your age-appropriate children in a stimulating Jewish learning environment.

SAVE THE DATE!!!

PJC Hanukkah Party

Families with Children Ages 3-8

Sunday November 24

10:30am-12:00pm

Location: Pelham Arts Center

By now you surely know that Hanukkah coincides with Thanksgiving, so before you slice your turkey, join us for a pre-Hanukkah party at the Pelham Art Center.

We will be making menorahs, reading stories and enjoy- ing yummy Hanukkah treats! RSVP required to

[email protected] by November 15th, space is limited.

We ask that parents stay at the event with their children, or arrange for another parent to be responsible for their child.

Kiddush Dates - 2013: November 23

Kiddush Dates - 2014: January 25, February 1, 8, 15, 22, March 1, 8, 22, 29, April 5, 12, 19, 26, May 10, June 28

Rabbi Dani Segal (Avinoam’s brother) to Speak

November 2 - Shabbat morning

Rabbi Segal is an experienced educator and popular lecturer in Israel and North America, and one of Ein Prat’s founders. His areas of pedagogic expertise are Talmud and Bible and he holds a BA in Hebrew Literature from The Hebrew University of Jerusalem and he

received his ordination from the Israeli Chief Rabbinate.

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Tributes Made to The PJC In Honor of …

Make tributes online … go to www.thepjc.org and click DONATE in the top right corner!

 Alan Tobin, in memory of Samuel Tobin

 Miriam Korman, in memory of Herbert Korman

 Lina-Anne Shane, in honor of Rabbi Schuck

 Sylvia Simha, in memory of Simha and Kampel families

 Doris-Patt Smith & Ted Smith, in memory of Ginny Herron-Lanoil’s sister Susan Marie Herron Sibbet

Contributions to The Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund

 Gary & Evelyn Trachten, in memory of Gary’s father Morris “Moshe” Trachten

 Jeanne & David Radvany, in honor of the Rabbi and all he does

 Sylvia & Paul Stepner, in honor of Rabbi Schuck and the high holiday services

 Doreen & Jerry Jacobs, in honor and memory of their loved ones 11/1 George Agris, father of Cheryl Agris

11/2 Walter Rubin, father of Michael Rubin

11/4 Heather Brill Gordimer, founding member of Pelham Jewish Center

11/6 Morton Weissman, father of Michael Weissman 11/7 Aaron Klebanow, father of Jack Klebanow

Sidney Mailick, father of Dan Mailick 11/8 Emma Evan, mother of Frederica Sigel 11/11 Avrom Siegel, father of Rachel Collens

11/12 Celia B. Greenfield, founding member of Pelham Jewish Center

Jerome Levine, father of Mark Levine 11/13 Samuel Hochberg, father of Mark Hochberg

Pearl Martin, mother of Steven Martin

11/14 Barbara Christie Samuels, mother of Carey Hochberg

11/16 Sarah Klopott, grandmother of Shayna Klopott Aaron Rossman, son of Robert & Janice Rossman, and brother of Talia & Naomi Rossman

11/18 Christopher Penrose, brother of Diane Cohen 11/19 Yetta Brown, mother of Theodor Brown

11/21 Charles Saunders, father of Barbara Saunders-Adams 11/22 Goldie Smith, mother of Theodore Smith

11/23 Malke Steinberg, grandmother of Florence Grossman 11/24 Irving Geller, father of Edward Geller

11/25 Dina Ehrenreich, mother of Zachary Ehrenreich 11/27 Irene Silver, mother of Patricia Levinson 11/28 Abraham S. Haft, father of David Haft

Janet Siegel, mother of Rachel Collens

The Pelham Jewish Center Remembers ...

November Yahrzeits

Pelham Interfaith Thanksgiving Service

Sunday, November 24

^th

at 4pm

Community Church of the Pelhams

Washington & Highbrook Avenues

Come together with neighbors and community members to share the start of the Thanksgiving holiday! Celebrate the spirit of the season through song & prayer in a meaningful and uplifting way.

Join with members of all of Pelham’s Houses of Worship during the annual Interfaith Thanksgiving Service on Sunday, November 24^th at 4pm for an hour of singing & inspiration. Enjoy a favorite annual tradition or create a new one for your family by joining with congregants & clergy at the Com- munity Church of the Pelhams to give thanks for our blessings.

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Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat

1 Chesvan 28

Rabbinic Intern—Lauren Henderson Shabbat

6:30 PM: Kabbalat Shabbat Service

2 Cheshvan 29

Rabbinic Intern-Lauren Henderson Shabbat 9:30 AM: Shabbat Services 9:30 AM: Birthday Shabbat 10:30AM: Healing Shabbat 10:30AM: Jr. Congrega- tion

11:00: Torah Time 11:30 AM: Rabbi Dani Segal delivers sermon 7:00PM: Melaveh Malkah

3 Cheshvan 30

7:00 AM: Breakfast Run

9:30 AM: Ariana Capanna Bat Mitzvah

4 Kislev 1 5 Kislev 2

4:00 PM: Continuing Education - Walking with

4:50 PM: Soup Kitchen

7:30 PM: Continuing Education - Intro to Judaism

6 Kislev 3 7 Kislev 4

7:30 PM: Why We Do What We Do with Rabbinic intern Lauren

8 Kislev 5

6:30 PM: B’nei Mitzvah class of 2014-2015 family program and Shabbat dinner

9 Kislev 6

9:30 AM: Shabbat Services

10 Kislev 7 11 Kislev 8 12 Kislev 9 13 Kislev 10

8:00 PM: Board Meeting

14 Kislev 11

15 Kislev 12

16 Kislev 13

9:30 AM: Henry Driesen Bar Mitzvah

9:30 AM: Shabbat Services

17 Kislev 14 18 Kislev 15 19 Kislev 16

20 Kislev 17 21 Kislev 18

22 Kislev 19

Rabbinic Intern—Lauren Henderson Shabbat

6:30 PM: Community Shabbat Dinner

23 Kislev 20

Rabbinic Intern—Lauren Henderson Shabbat 9:30 AM: Shabbat Services

10:30AM: Jr. Congrega- tion

11:00 AM: Torah Time

11:30AM: Speaker “Joel Chasnoff”

24 Kislev 21

Thanksgiving in a box drop off

10:30AM: Young Family Hanukah Party

4:00 PM: Pelham Interfaith Thanksgiving Service

25 Kislev 22

26 Kislev 23

27 Kislev 24

1st night Hanukkah

28 Kislev 25

2nd night Hanukkah Thanksgiving

29 Kislev 26

3rd night Hanukkah

30 Kislev 27

4th night Hanukkah 9:30 AM: Shabbat Services

NOVEMBER 2013 CHESVAN/KISLEV 5774

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