Terminology
Essay
A piece of writing that gives your thoughts (commentary) about a subject.
Commentary
Writing commentary means giving your
opinion, interpretation, insight, analysis, explication, personal reaction, feelings, evaluation, or reflection about a topic.
Introduction
Also called the introductory paragraph. The first paragraph in an essay.
Seven Introductions
Consider opening your introductory paragraph with one of these…
“ ” = Direct quote ? = Question
! = Startling Statement SS= Shocking Statistic
FA= Factual Account PE= Personal
Experience
Body Paragraph
A middle paragraph in an essay.
Body Paragraph Format
Sentence 1 TS Topic sentence
Sentence 2 CD First sentence of concrete detail Sentence 3 CM Commentary on sentence two Sentence 4 CM More commentary
Sentence 5 CD Second sentence of concrete detail Sentence 6 CM Commentary on sentence five
Sentence 7 CM More commentary
Chunk
One sentence of concrete detail (CD)…
…and two sentences of commentary (CM).
It is the smallest unified group of thoughts that you can write.
Weaving
Blending concrete details (CD) and
commentary (CM) in a body paragraph.
Conclusion
Also called the concluding paragraph. It is the last paragraph in your essay. It may sum up your ideas,
…reflect on what you said in your essay,
Conclusion (cont.)
It brings your essay to a close with a thought-provoking statement.
Your conclusion is ALL commentary and does
NOT include concrete detail.
It does NOT repeat key words from your paper and especially NOT from your thesis and
Conclusion (cont.)
Thesis
A sentence with a
subject
andopinion
. (opinion = commentary)Research
The process of gathering facts on the topic.
For this essay you will need to interview at least 2 adults for their point of view.
Take notes using the note card from the form handed out.
Pre-Writing
The process of getting your concrete details
down on paper before you organize your essay into paragraphs.
You can use any or all of the following: bubble clusters, spider diagrams, outlines, line
clustering, or columns.
Concrete Details ~ CD
Specific details that form the backbone, skeleton, framework, or core of your body paragraphs.
Synonyms for concrete detail include facts, specifics, examples, descriptions,
illustrations, support, proof, supporting
Commentary ~ CM
Your opinion or comment about something; NOT
concrete detail.
CD vs. CM
Restrictions of Literature
Commentary
Students may not use I, me, my, we, us would, should, could, may or might in their essays.
These words encourage them to leave the story and become “preachy.”
Example: “I hope I have a friend like George some day.” Or, “They should have just gone on their separate
ways.”
Topic Sentence ~ TS
The first sentence in the body paragraph. This must have a
subject
andopinion
(commentary) for the paragraph.Concluding Sentence ~ CS
The last sentence in the body paragraph. It is ALL commentary,
…does not repeat key words,
Shaping the Essay
The step that is done
after
pre-writing… …andbefore
the first draft of an essay. It is an outline of your thesis,…topic sentences, …concrete details,
First Draft
The first version of your essay.
Also called the rough draft ~
RD
.Keep in mind the …
Audience-who will read the essay
Purpose of the essay, what point do you want to get across
Tone of the essay
~should be formal (NO contractions, and use of elevated diction/vocabulary)
Ratio
The ratio of one part concrete detail (CD) to two parts commentary (CM).
At least two points of commentary for every point of concrete detail in a body paragraph.
Ratio
If a body paragraph has a 1:1 ratio, teachers say that the student got off to a good start but did not elaborate enough on the commentary.
If a literature paper has a 1:0 ratio, we call that a book report…
…or an “and then” paper.
Ratio
“And then” papers are the dullest kinds of narratives to read.
As soon as students use a 1:2+ ratio, teachers are happier with the results.
Word Counts
Introduction
(40+words)
Body
(100+ words for each paragraph in
the body)
Conclusion
(40+words)
This shows that…
Need help producing commentary? Start your commentary with:
“This shows that _________________.” The result is always commentary.
This shows that…
“In Of Mice and Men, George Milton looks out for Lennie’s welfare. For example, he tells Lennie not to say anything to Curley in the ranch house.
This shows that he understands how easily
Lennie gets into trouble without realizing it. This shows that he wants to keep Lennie out of
Final Draft
Writing a Thesis
A thesis is a general sentence with a subject and an opinion (also called a commentary).
The thesis provides the focus for your essay.
Example: Australia is the best country of all for a vacation.
In this sentence, Australia is the subject.
Writing a Thesis
A thesis is more than just an answer to a question, or a fact.
A good thesis states an educated opinion about a subject.
Example: Fact: Most new AIDS infections today are occurring in developing countries.
Educated Opinion: Most new AIDS infections today are occurring in developing countries because citizens of these countries are uneducated about the disease and do not have access to
Writing a Thesis
Avoid Middle School writing, such as, “The purpose of this paper ...
Avoid “In this paragraph I will tell…”
Writing a Thesis ~ Practice
For each of the following sentences, underline the subject once and the opinion (commentary) twice.
Fishing is fun to do when I’m with my dad. English is my favorite class.
Writing a Thesis ~ Practice
Fishing is fun to do when I’m with my dad.
English is my favorite class.
It’s exciting going to a new school. Tacos are my favorite food.
Writing a Thesis ~ Practice
Write a
thesis
sentence of your own.
First you need to think of some subjects
you know something about.
--getting braces
--bicycling
Writing a Thesis ~ Practice
The next step is to write a thesis for your
subject.
Getting braces
was one of the best things
Peer Response
Citations
http://www.vusd.k12.ca.us/vhs/currint/mpe/ mpe95.ppt
http://teacherweb.com/PA/DallasHighSchool/ JessicaPasquini/Pers-DocReview.ppt
