Male Orgasm Control
Not being allowed to cum, Cumming and not being allowed to feel it, Having your cock teased and kept on the edge of orgasm without the chance of orgasm
These are all good things. Showing her complete surrender of sexual control, and handing it to her is a wonderful thing.
Most dominate women would enjoy and find it rather amusing, to allow a slave to bring himself just to the brink of orgasm and then denying him. Dommes who have good houseboys use them as slaves for any & everything. Chastity belts seem to be essential for discipline & authority- it's much easier to control an unsatisfied slave who will work better in order to be allowed relief. A slave should orgasm only when absolutely necessary. He should try his best at all times not to cum. Some slaves are allowed relief [a worship wank...] monthly after completing all his chores [including the garden, the car, the entire house, laying his wage packet in front of his owner for her to have. Even then when he can't hold back anymore it should often be a humiliating situation. He should have to eat his own semen and be punished.
A properly chastised slave means meaning daily tease and denial, daily control, this will yield a well behaved slave. Knowing the only way for certain release is to please her, makes him focus more on her wants and needs. If she wishes for you to cum then you will, if she doesn't feel you deserve to cum yet then you'll wait . If the slave continues to stay motivated for his own personal gain then he should wait even longer.
Long term denial produces an interesting feeling for many. Most guys use BDSM as foreplay (for that matter, everything is foreplay), then they need their orgasm. There is a distinction between needing an orgasm and wanting one. For the slave; it should feel good to be aroused, and want an orgasm, but if they are true they don't really NEED one to enjoy being a slave. It's kind of like when women say intimacy is good and does not always have to include sex. Eventually the slave will understand what that means. The first couple of days without an orgasm will be a little difficult, but as the days go by, then weeks and even months, they will grow more and more proud of their
accomplishment and want to do better. It will show that their intensions are pure, that they want to serve and please and be a quality slave, and are not just motivated by their own orgasm in the end.
and a new day will dawn 4 those who stand long - led zeppelin
This section gives you one thing: sex for as long as you want. If you've ever had a premature ejaculation, or if you want sex to last longer, you've come to the right place. What follows is a number of techniques that give you control over when you orgasm.
The central idea in male orgasm control is to stay completely away from orgasm, but still maintain a solid erection. This enables you to have sex for as long as you want.
For simplicity the text refers to 'you' as the male partner.
1. Stop at Pregasm: The signal just before orgasm
2. Slow Breathing: Slow your body down and hold off orgasm 3. Ajna Focus: Tantric sex
4. Orgasm Control Tips: Positions, confidence, sex without orgasm
Orgasm and Pre-gasm
This section helps you avoid orgasm during sex. Why would you want to do this? To make sex last longer. Once you have an orgasm, sex can sometimes continue, but usually orgasm means the loss of erection and the end of sex. Most of the exercises here involve practising first on your own during masturbation. You will learn quickly this way. You can learn orgasm control by practicing during sex, but solo practice will give you a head start. When you get to sex you will be more than ready.
Pre-gasm: the signal before orgasm
At some point during sex you will reach a point where you feel orgasm is about to happen. If you keep going and have the orgasm, sex is most likely over. The simplest way to avoid orgasm and keep sex going is to stop thrusting before you get to orgasm. Don't go over the edge. There will be a strong natural urge to keep going. Don't. If you want sex to continue, just stop. After a few moments of rest, you can begin again.
The feeling you get just before orgasm is your pre-gasm. Its a signal, an alarm, telling you orgasm is about to happen but hasn't happened yet. There's a small window of time between pre-gasm and orgasm in which you can decide to stop.
The pre-gasm is your last chance. You have less than 2 to 3 seconds to make up your mind. After orgasm there is no turning back.
You take the blue pill, you keep moving, you have an orgasm, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and go back to your mundane life as a nerd.
You take the red pill, you stop moving as soon as you get your pre-gasm, you don't go over the edge of orgasm, you stay in wonderland, I show you how deep sex goes.
* Exercise 1: Stop during masturbation
Begin masturbating as normal. As you near orgasm, stop masturbating. Don't go over the edge. Let your tension unwind. When you have relaxed enough, masturbate again until you feel the onset of orgasm, then stop. Repeat this for as long as you like.
This is the simplest way to keep sex going. Later you will learn to keep sex going without stopping like this. First you must learn to recognize pre-gasm, and to stop immediately. Otherwise sex is over. Without the pre-gasm, male orgasm control falls apart. Practice first on your own. You will learn quicker this way. Your concentration will not be broken by external diversions.
Once you have practised stopping at pre-gasm on your own, try it during sex:
* Exercise 2: Stop during sex
start slowly during sex. When you get close to orgasm, when you get your pre-gasm, just stop. If you are on top, stop moving altogether. If you are underneath ask your partner to stop moving. If you are very close, you may need to take your penis out. Relax completely, and let your tension subside. Don't go over the edge of orgasm. If breaking the flow of sex seems unusual, fill in the gap with kissing and caressing. When you begin again, start slowly. Practice this as much as you want.
Now, when you're happy with stopping, we can move on to keeping sex going without stopping. Still though, always be aware of your pre-gasm. You can always fall back on stopping as the last line of defense when things go wrong. From this point on you should aim to never, ever have an orgasm 'by mistake'. If all the other techniques fail, at the very last, stopping will keep u going.
Slow Breathing
Slow your breathing to hold off orgasm
As you come near orgasm, your breathing usually gets faster and your heart rate increases. If you breathe slowly, your heart rate will decrease slightly and orgasm will be easier to hold off. Try it first during masturbation:
* Exercise 6: Breathe slowly during masturbation
Take a long, deep inhale, wait a few seconds, and exhale slowly. Begin masturbating as normal. Maintain slow, controlled breaths. The closer you come to orgasm, the faster your breathing will get. Focus on long, calm breaths: inhaling, holding for a few seconds, then exhaling. If you get your pregasm, stop before you go over the edge. Make sure to maintain the same relaxed breathing throughout. Repeat as desired.
As your breathing slows, your body will enter a calm, relaxed state. Because orgasm is associated with fast breath and fast heartrate, slowing your breathing basically fools your body into thinking it is not ready to orgasm. There is a simple way to make sure each breath is slow:
* Exercise 7: Breathe through your nose
Again, try this first during masturbation. Breathe slowly and deeply through your nose. Nose breathing ensures slower breaths to the lungs since the nostrils are a smaller passageway than the mouth. Keep masturbating as you do this. Maintain nose breathing from the beginning, and concentrate on breathing slowly if you get near orgasm. Keep your mouth closed. Inhale and exhale through your nose.
Try not to strain or force any breath or make a loud breathing sound. Let the air naturally flow in and out. If you find nose breathing uncomfortable or have a blocked nose, mouth breathing can be effective if each inhale and exhale is long, slow and deep. Then try it with sex:
* Exercise 8: Breathe slowly during sex
From the beginning of sex, breathe slowly and deeply through your nose. Deeply inhale, hold and then slowly exhale. Have sex slowly at first. As you feel orgasm coming closer, focus on keeping this slow relaxed rhythm. If you get your pregasm and have to stop and rest, keep the same slow nose breathing going during the pause.
Tantric Sex
Tantric sex and the Ajna Chakra
Tantric sex comes from the ancient Indian practice of Tantra. For thousands of years Buddhist and Yogic practitioners have used tantric sex to enter alternate mind states and reach infinite bliss. It also helps to control orgasm and make sex last longer, conveniently. Though tantric sex has many facets, here we focus on the technique that's most useful in orgasm control: Ajna Chakra Focus. The ajna chakra is an energy point located in the forehead, between the eyes. When you focus on this point, physically and mentally, orgasm will be delayed and sex will last longer. If you have not read the first few orgasm control sections, do so now.
We begin with finding ajna and gently pulling your eyes towards it:
* Exercise 9: Pull your eyes to ajna
outside thoughts from your mind. When you read the words 'close your eyes' at the end of this exercise, do the following:
imagine two paths leading from your eyes, coming inside your head. Imagine these two paths meet at a central point, two inches behind and an inch above your eyes. Imagine this point existing in the center of your mind.
Very gently use your eye muscles to physically pull your eyes inwards and upwards towards this centre point. Its not so much a movement as a pressure. Don't overstrain it but hold your eyes in this position for a few moments. Close your eyes.
This center point between and behind your eyes is your ajna chakra, sometimes referred to as the 3rd eye or inner eye. Physically pulling your eyes towards it is the first step in ajna focus. The second step is the use of meditation on the same point. Here's one example of ajna meditation:
* Exercise 10a: Ajna energy meditation
Relax your entire body. Close your eyes and take deep slow breaths. As you inhale, imagine every part of your body filling with energy. Every limb, every organ, every muscle, increasingly becoming more and more saturated with energy on each inhale. Feel yourself in control of the energy, and get ready to release it.
On the next inhale, imagine all the energy contained in your body being channelled upwards, up thru hundreds of paths from every point on your body. The paths feed up from your legs, arms, torso and shoulders, up through your neck into your head. As you do this, close your eyes and pull them inwards as described in exercise 9. As the streams of energy converge inside your head, imagine every path being channeled thru a single point: your ajna chakra. As you exhale, imagine hundreds of energy streams bursting forth to the outside world through that single tiny point. Keep your eyes pulled inwards and upwards, as if trying to press on your ajna chakra, intensifying the release.
Repeat as often as you like, drawing energy upwards on each inhale, and releasing it through ajna on each exhale. If your eyes feel sore at any time stop and rest.
At some point during meditation you may feel a tingle or shiver around your back or shoulders. The tingle is a positive feeling and will help with ajna focus - if you get it, think about what caused it and try to make it happen again.
It's exactly the same feeling tingle feeling you get down the back of your neck, down your back and shoulders when you listen to a really, really good piece of music, or when you go from a warm room to a cold room. I don't know what it is exactly, or what causes it.
With practice you will be able to 'send' this tingle down your back. The best time to try it is during the exhale in exercise 10a. Consider the tingle or shiver moving down your back as part of the energy release. Here's another example of ajna meditation:
* Exercise 10b: Ajna void meditation
Again relax your entire body, close your eyes and breathe freely and deeply. Focus your mind on your ajna chakra. Imagine ajna as the smallest possible point, so tiny it can only be imagined and not seen. Imagine there exists all around it total emptiness: vast, empty blackness stretching out forever. Nothing else exists, only the infinitesimal point of ajna at the centre of an infinitely large void.
Meditate only on this point and the huge void around it. Think of nothing else.
Imagine any stray thoughts that enter your mind instantly dissolving into the gigantic black void. Any words, sounds, images or other thoughts that appear vanish into nothing immediately. Concentrate only on ajna, a tiny point at the centre of an infinite universe of black, empty space.
Spend as much time meditating on these techniques as you see fit. During masturbation or sex use the combination of physical and meditation exercises to hold off orgasm. Try it first with masturbation:
* Exercise 11: Ajna focus during masturbation
Begin masturbating as normal. Before you reach orgasm, close your eyes and gently pull them inwards and upwards towards your ajna chakra as described in exercise 9. Keep masturbating. As you get close to orgasm, use either one of
the ajna meditations, 10a or 10b.
You may feel a sense of inner strength or confidence. If you get this sensation, concentrate on it and relish it.
Visualise that feeling of inner power, and let your body feed off it. Let ajna focus lead you away from orgasm. If you do get too close, use the inner strength sensation to reverse the approach. Practice this for as long as you want.
Once you become familiar with ajna focus during masturbation and have used it to take yourself away from orgasm, move onto using it with sex:
* Exercise 12: Ajna focus during sex
When you have sex, the 'inner power' feeling is very accessible. Close your eyes during sex and gently pull them towards ajna. Relax your entire body and focus on one of the ajna meditations. Give yourself plenty of time to try this out - don't go too fast at first. The more time you spend avoiding orgasm, the more time you hav learning to avoid it. As sex keeps going, immerse yourself deeper and deeper in meditation. Forget the outside world. Forget your worries, your problems, forget the events of the day. Forget you have a body. Forget your partner has a body. Meditate on a single concept - that now there is but one entity: ajna.
Once you're happy with ajna focus, use it together with the other techniques, slow breathing and stopping if you need it. You can if you wish alter the above meditations to suit yourself or invent your own. Other examples of common meditations would be focusing on an imaginary candle flame or a golden sun at the point of the ajna chakra.
Its likely that using any type of calm, relaxing meditation during sex will help hold off orgasm. Meditation is known to reduce heart rate, blood pressure and stress. Having an orgasm is associated with the opposite - high heart rate, high blood pressure and high stress. These functions are normally considered to be involuntary, that is they cannot be controlled directly like the biceps muscle in the arm. This is the power of meditation - the ability to alter physical body functions that weren't designed to be altered directly. Meditation slows your nervous system while still allowing you to maintain an erection and keep having sex as slow or as fast as you want. Think about when you wake up with a morning erection: you have just emerged from the most relaxed state possible - sleep - yet you still had an erection. For some as yet unexplained reason, ajna focus also helps to hold off a sneeze. I don't know why but when you have a sneeze coming, if you use ajna focus and hold your breath then you can hold it off. There is even a presneeze feeling the same as a pregasm. It comes 2 to 3 seconds before the sneeze so you know when to go straight into ajna focus. Who was it that said orgasm is like a sneeze??
Sex Tips for Orgasm Control
Position
Being underneath makes orgasm control easier
During sex, if your partner is on top and you are underneath, orgasm control will be a little easier. When first putting moc techniques into practice, have sex with your partner on top. Later you can go on top when you have gained confidence. Why is control harder on top? The weight of your body presses down thru your penis, making sex more pleasurable but making orgasm control a little harder. So, get underneath when learning a new technique or if you are having trouble controlling orgasm. Being on top also means the rest of your body is in tension, holding urself up or moving around. More muscle tension increases pleasure but makes orgasm control slightly harder so...
Body Relaxation
Relax your legs and cheeks to help control orgasm
The pc is the main muscle to relax during sex, but tension in your thighs and bum cheeks will also have an effect. Tensing these muscles will increase pleasure but also bring orgasm that little bit quicker. Test this out yourself by masturbating with your bum and leg muscles tightened and your legs straight out. Then try masturbating with all those muscles relaxed. Relaxing will give you less pleasure but help you hold off orgasm. So, to help orgasm control, relax
these muscles.
X-position
Lie diagonally across your partner to reduce pressure
When you are on top, you can reduce the pressure on your penis by lying across your partner so that your bodies make an X shape. Let your upper body rest down on the bed to your partner's side, and your knees rest on the opposite side. One of your legs should rest between your partner's legs, and the other on the outside. This reduces the weight acting down thru your penis and eases the tension in your body.
Sex without orgasm Don't orgasm during sex
You may be used to having sex that always finishes with orgasm. To help your control of orgasm get out of this frame of thinking. Have orgasms during masturbation or outside of sex. This helps your body separate sex from orgasm. Then when you have sex, you and your body won't automatically expect an orgasm. Thinking about orgasm, thinking about how and when it will happen will actually bring it quicker. If you think orgasm, you will orgasm. Be content with knowing you'll have an orgasm later by masturbating or some way outside of sex. Then try to finish sexplay without having an orgasm. Do this on a number of occasions, especially when learning new techniques. Once you can separate sex from orgasm, control becomes easier. This is not to say you should never orgasm during sex - do
whatever you want - simply that having sex without orgasm helps with learning orgasm control.
Empty bladder before sex
Before you have sex, go to the toilet and empty your bladder of urine to help control orgasm. your bladder is located right beside your prostate gland, which triggers ejaculation. If your bladder is full, it presses onto your prostate, making orgasm more likely and control harder.
Ujjayi Breathing
To add to slow breathing there is an ancient technique from yoga called ujjayi breathing. It's similar to nose breathing but slower and more calming.
* Exercise 13: Ujjayi Breathing
Open your mouth and breathe out through it. While you do so, make a 'h' sound. you should feel the sound coming from the back of your mouth. Now close your mouth and breathe out through your nose but still make the same 'h' sound. The sound should still originate in your throat. Now make the same sound while inhaling.
Use this type of breathing during sex. By making the 'h' sound your glottis (base of the throat) partially closes over, narrowing the passage of air flow to your lungs - forcing slower, deeper breaths, helping you control orgasm by calming your nervous system.
Confidence
If you fear orgasm, you will orgasm. Fear will build panic; panic will bring orgasm. If you worry about losing control of orgasm, the worry will bring orgasm quicker. Tell yourself from this point forward you will never lose control because at the very last you always have the security of the stop at pregasm. Go into sex with confidence and belief. If you believe you can control orgasm, you will control orgasm. Using the other techniques and tips will give you confidence - once you have sex a few times without orgasm, knowing you can control it will give you the confidence to do it again.
The techniques given in this chapter are not rules but suggestions to help you keep control of orgasm. If you don't like the idea of not orgasming, then just go ahead and orgasm. Experiment with your own ideas. If you find some other way of controlling orgasm, use it. And then tell us about it or offer the info to other people. Above all though be aware of what your partner wants - sex for a long time may not be desirable.
