CONCLUSIONS
Compiled by Mrs. Mancini for my Fabulous
Freshmen
‘The End’
(If only conclusions were that easy)
Can you envision Willy sitting at his
desk, quill in hand, looking out at the
Thames, exasperated over how to end
The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet
?
Conclusions are not easy, even for
masters of the craft. But if Willy could
do it, so can you!
Head to the next slides for some handy,
dandy tips on how to conclude your boot
camp essay in a memorable way.
Don’t Do This
1.
Don’t
simply summarize what
you've said earlier in your paper.
2.Don’t
restate things in the
exact
same wording you used in your
introduction.
3.
Don’t
begin your conclusion with
the words "In conclusion," "In
summary," or “In closing.”
4.
Don’t
introduce a new idea or
subtopic in your conclusion.
DO THIS
Return your readers to your thesis,
but
with the feeling that they have learned
something more
.
Show your readers how the points you made
in your body and the support and examples
you used fit together. Pull it all together.
Note: Your conclusion doesn't have to be
Does your conclusion pass the
“SO WHAT” test?
Before writing your conclusion, ask yourself, "So what?" Why should what I’ve written in my thesis and my body matter to anyone?
Will my readers see that what I wrote has importance in the world around them? Have I propelled them to consider a new view on my subject?
What do I want them to take away from this experience?
Did I turn on any lights for them? After all, I do have the last word on this subject. How can I make a good impression? It might be the very last time they ever come
my way.
What parting gift (words) can I give to them?
Wonderful ways to
conclude your essay:
1. Tell your readers what your thesis and your body says about the human
condition (think back to the theme – the author’s message to the reader).
2. Does the topic relate to the current state of the world in any way? Tell
yours readers how the ideas you've reflected on in your paper act as a
warning for current and future generations.
3. Illustrate how the heroic actions of your character act as an example for
us today.
4. Try using an anecdote that summarizes or reflects your main idea. 5. If you used a quotation or a vivid image in your introduction, either
reference it, or use a different, but related, quotation or visual image in your conclusion.
6. If you referred to a scene in the story, try to imagine what happened to
Examples that will
make you flip
READ THE TWO STUDENT
SAMPLES ON
THE NEXT FEW SLIDES. DID
THEY USE ANY OF MY
SUGGESTED STRATEGIES?
EITHER WAY, DETERMINE
WHAT MAKES THEM
Student Model Essay
Memoirs of a Geisha (1 of 3)
In Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, Chiyo faces a societythat values beauty and appearance. The Japanese world that is portrayedin the novel is one of physical perfection and unrivaled talent, whereanything short of that is frowned upon. Chiyo struggles to become a partof this lifestyle and even tries to escape, but eventually she comes not only to accept it, but to become one of the most recognized members ofit.
Geisha are meant to represent the epitome of male entertainment.They work to please men
through music, dance, and humor, so when Chiyo,a poor girl with no particular talents is thrown into this life, herworld begins to quake in the struggle. The challenges Chiyo faced werehard, as this lifestyle was not something she was brought up to live in.She was schooled to properly dress, stand, speak, and expected to masterdance and music as well, being severely punished if she did not meetthose standards. Chiyo was also against an adversary much stronger thanher,
Hatsumomo, who easily made Chiyo's life a living hell. For example,Hatsumomo blackmailed Chiyo into ruining an expensive kimono, whichresulted in causing her mother great amounts of debt.
Student Model Essay
Memoirs of a Geisha (2 of 3)
The clear waters of Chiyo's childhood were disturbed and heateddue to her often falling short of the standards of the society she livedin, and the tensions inevitably boiled over at some points. Once thestruggled reached its peak, Chiyo tried to escape from this life, whichall ended in
failures. One incident of this was when she tried to escapethe okiya to run away with her sister. This attempt at fleeing from hertortures almost cost Chiyo her chance at becoming a geisha, because shehad broken her arm falling from the roof. This demonstrates howoppressed and underachieved Chiyo felt at the time.
However, even after physical injury, embarrassment, blackmail,and near torture, Chiyo eventually comes to accept her life as shebecomes a geisha. She has conquered all of her hardships and wasrewarded with a high position in her society. Chiyo metamorphosizes into
Sayuri, one of the most recognized geishas of her time. She is able tofall in love, find true allies, and live contently by leaving behind,but also cherishing her past experiences as a child. The very standardsof life that plagued her finally bring Chiyo true happiness.
Student Model Conclusion
Memoirs of a Geisha (3 of 3)
Arthur Golden weaves a setting that embodies the motto, "thesurvival of
the fittest," where only those who are exceptional surviveand those who
are not fade into the background. He then creates acharacter, Chiyo, to
fight against all the odds and come out on top tocontradict the very
setting that he creates. The plot is based onChiyo's experience against all
these challenges, and it is thecharacter's struggle, escape, and
acceptance that drive the novelforward.
And by the end of it all, the
ugly caterpillar finally arises out of her cocoon in the form of a
beautiful geisha.
Student Model Introduction & Conclusion
Death of a Salesman
Writing Prompt: In a novel or play that you have studied, identify a character who conforms
outwardly while questioning inwardly. Then write an essay in which you analyze how this tension between outward conformity and inward questioning contributes to the meaning of the work.
INTRODUCTION: Death of a Salesman centers on the life of a traveling salesman named Willy
Loman. Willy possesses an unshakable faith in the American Dream, at least in his younger years. Thus, he happily conforms to societal stereotypes and bows to societal pressure. But as his life
begins to spiral out of control and he loses his job, Willy is driven to question the value for which he has striven, the values of success and happiness made possible by hard work. Willy’s conflict
between his desire to conform and succeed in his society, and his despair over the fact that success seems unreachable, cause him to question the very nature of the American Dream—the central
theme of Arthur Miller’s play.
CONCLUSION: The American Dream, the desire to attain success and happiness, is impossible
and undesirable in Miller’s eyes; it is only a dream vision, a utopian creation meant to invite
Create two Rock-worthy Conclusions
Return to slide 6 and use two of the six
suggested strategies to write two uniquely
different conclusions that will even bring
The Rock to his feet.
Have two people rate the better of the two
based on Slide 5 – whether or not it passes
the “So what” test.
Have them try to figure out which strategies
you’ve used for each of your two
Conclusions
DUE: Wednesday
Conclusions
Show me evidence of your two
new conclusions along with the
conclusion in your graded
essay, and my comments, if
any.
If you’d like us to rate your
final conclusion in class, please
email it to me. I would be
happy to show it anonymously,
if time permits.
You got
this!!!