Guide for Dumb Crooks

Guide for Dumb Crooks

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Table of Contents

Dedication About the author

Other books by this author

1 Case of the Skin Deep Confessions

2 The Telling Teller and the I-risk of i-Bragging 3 A Real Basket Case

4 Crook Stubs Big Tow in Florida 5 Case of the Over Charging Robber

6 Case of the Over-weight Suitcase – a Shut and Opened Case 7 A Clean Get-a-Way?

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PREFACE

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to Law Enforcement Officers around the world, affectionately known as LEOs. The case histories present contrasts that result from confrontations between dumb crooks and smart LEOs. While the theme is humorous, we need not forget that our LEOs are in constant danger while they work hard to keep us safe and make the world a better place.

100 DECIDEDLY DUMB CASES

1►Case of the Skin Deep Confessions◄

NORWALK, California – Norwalk is less than a half-hour from downtown Los Angeles. The city has a long history as a film location and such classics as The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Karate Kid, CHiPs episodes and about two-dozen others have used this place as a setting. A Southern California gang member got his just due when he was convicted of first degree murder. It took many years to discover his identity even though he “wrote” his confession long before the cops had him fingered for the crime. And to be sure, it was the killer’s own arrogant actions that helped convict him of the murder of 23-year old John Juarez, a rival gang member.

Los Angeles County sheriff's homicide division Sergeant Kevin Lloyd was preparing to testify as an expert witness in a gang case. He was reviewing police albums of tattoos for the upcoming case. He had gone through hundreds of photos that had been compiled over many years. Suddenly, an image jumped out! The detective was propelled back in time as he stared at the large color print showing the upper body of a notorious criminal. Decorating the chest of the dark-haired man was a tattoo that stretched all the way across from his neck and shoulder to his chest and arm. The seemingly bizarre tattoo included a liquor store that looked vaguely familiar because there were Christmas lights on the store roof laid out in an unusual fashion. But there was also an old style curved light post - and there were street signs. All of his began to jog the detective’s memory. Indeed, Sergeant Lloyd recognized this place – it was in the city of Pico Rivera, an LA suburb. Lloyd had worked that area four years earlier and realized that he could identify the exact spot. But why would anyone have a tattoo of such an ordinary place? But closer inspection of the tattoo depicted gunfire. The tattoo on Anthony Garcia could be a crime scene. The tattoo showed a "Mr. Peanut" character getting shot from a helicopter near the liquor store. The tattoo not only gave the specific location, it told a story – MURDER!

This detailed tattoo showed the victim, a "Mr. Peanut" character, getting shot from a helicopter under the banner, "Rivera Kills." The symbols were all there and the detective could read them – just like a murder script. Lloyd knew that "peanut" was a term for a rival gang and "Chopper" was the nickname of this crook with the tattoo, Anthony Garcia. And Garcia was the leader of a gang known as 13. The record showed that Rivera at was the scene of the crime. The detective was shocked by the “story” that the tattoo suggested. It all started coming back. The Sergeant remembered standing in the exact position shown in the tattoo and looking at this homicide scene. In a flash, Lloyd knew he had just solved an old murder. But there was much work ahead.

The tattoo had been photographed by deputies in Pico Rivera after Garcia was booked on the simple charge of driving on a suspended license. Law enforcement takes photos of tattoos to help identify individuals who will likely break the law again. Gang members often upgrade their “street credentials” with tattoos that include crimes carried out and prisons occupied.

The state prosecutor explained how he got the conviction. Garcia became the states exhibit because he had all the crime details on his body. The murder victim was actually shown to be falling down at the exact place he was found. The copter (the murderer) is shooting from the right to the left – just like it happened. There is even a curve to the light post, which is a pretty unusual type of light post – this clinched the location. The tattoo scene was identical to the real crime scene where an unarmed rival gang member was ambushed and gunned down outside Ed's Liquor. Before the shooting, the victim was on the telephone in a nearby phone booth. After hanging up, he was walking away when Garcia approached and used the common gang phrase, "Where are you from?" before firing. Garcia didn't have a personal connection to the victim who just happened to be in an area that Garcia's gang had claimed as its turf. Ironically, Detective Lloyd had talked to the victim, a guy named Juarez, just a week before the shooting. The detective wanted him to quit the gang before he got killed. Juarez agreed.

The case had remained unsolved for several years because there were no witnesses. After Lloyd started on the case, the Sheriff's Department worked undercover and obtained a confession from Garcia. The getaway driver also implicated Garcia to avoid receiving a maximum sentence. The tip-off to the murderer was in the tattoo files and it had been there for years, but it was a piece of luck, a good memory and a sharp detective that made the connections. During the trial, jurors were shown a series of Garcia's booking photos, taken for other offenses after the murder. Each photo showed the tattoo updates -- how different elements were added at each point in time. They also had a photo of Garcia at the beach before the murder – with no tattoo.

So why did Garcia get caught? First, it was blatant arrogance - bragging about the crime graphically – “Look at me - the killer”. He got away with this murder for awhile," But although the killer wasn’t exactly stupid, his actions certainly were, from committing a stupid and pointless crime to brazenly displaying the story.

RULE: If you tattoo your confession, your body becomes evidence. p

---2►The Telling Teller and the I-risk of i-Bragging◄

people. The city was named after General Sam Houston who was president of the Republic of Texas and the hero who won the Battle of San Jacinto

Two people, Estefany Martinez and Ricky Gonzalez, were charged with staging a Texas bank heist. OK maybe that’s not big news since bank robbing is quite popular in the Lone Star state. A typical count shows that more than 5,600 banks are relieved of cash each year by crooks netting the bank robbers millions of dollars. Texas is right up there at #2. [California is #1 for bank robberies according to the FBI].

This heist was a little different than most hold-ups. One robber took money from the International Bank of Commerce in Houston while the other ordered the tellers to place money from the vault into a bag. The tellers, the only people in the bank at the time of the robbery, remained in the vault and later called 911. Well, it still sounds like an ordinary enough robbery, but let’s follow the trail of evidence.

While the robbery might seem run of the mill, there was a mastermind. It turned out that a friend of the crooks, Anna Margarita Rivera, came up with the plan. Anna Margarita had been a bank teller during a previous bank robbery. But since the case was unsolved, she decided that bank robbing was not all that hard. So Ms Rivera told her wannabe bank robber friends that “staging the robbery would be easy,".

Estefany Martinez said the plan was for her and Ricky Gonzalez (aka Ricky Gee) to pick a day where they would both be working the late shift and they would stage the robbery near closing time, thus minimizing the chances of any customers being in the bank. Gonzalez and Arturo Solano, Rivera's brother, were recruited. Bank surveillance video showed two masked and armed men entering the bank near closing. They jumped over the counter and demanded money and got it.

The robbery went down and the robbers got clean away – the simple plan had worked. But the robbers were easily caught. Ricky Gonzalez, age 18, and girlfriend Estefany Danelia Martinez, age 19, were both charged with the crime. So what went wrong with the great plan? Well, Ms Martinez worked for this bank and that’s the first place that detectives look. But the pair made it easier for the cops.

Both were fans of Facebook - FB for short. Just two days before the heist, bank teller Martinez wrote, "Get $$$(;.,". But boyfriend Ricky also posted on FB the day after the robbery, "Wipe my teeth with hundreds." He actually had some spelling mistakes that may have given clues. His bad spelling continued with "U have to past the line sometimes!! To get dis money," Is his accent showing yet? Ricky added a clincher the next day with, "I'm rich", right on his own FB page. The other stuff he posted is too vulgar to print. Adding to the portrait of his personal character is his Facebook page information under employer: “Make money both ways Dirty and Clean!!”

we can wonder what he posted. The photo is from the crooks FB page. Maybe he’s working on a new disguise or has a dumb photo app.

RULE: You can’t Brag without Confessing.

p ---3►A Real Basket Case◄

LAX AIRPORT, California- LAX, or Los Angeles International Airport is the sixth busiest airport in the world but holds the claim for "the world's busiest origin and "destination airport" in 2011. It has the most non-connecting passengers. Anyway you look at it, this is one busy airport and strange things happen here.

this defendant didn’t expect his trip would end with federal officers conducting an Easter egg hunt.” Galtes brought in close to 14 pounds of coke in his luggage, with some of it hidden in a paper shopping bag. The man was traveling from Colombia, another “red flag”. The white powder was worth about $100,000 on the streets.

But on May 2011, Galtes who had smuggled cocaine hidden inside phony Easter eggs was sentenced in Los Angeles to three years in prison. A federal judge gave 23-year-old Esteban Galtes a break before handing down the sentence. The judge took into consideration the dudes "somewhat limited" role as a “drug mule” transporting drugs from Colombia into the United States, and noted that he had no prior criminal record.

So what's the message? Well, it's not "Don't put all your eggs in one basket", since Galtes stashed them in several places. How about,

RULE: Don’t Leave Home without your Holiday Calendar. p ---4►Crook Stubs Big Tow in Florida◄

WEST PALM BEACH, Florida – Here’s one more from Florida that is the unofficial capital of loony crooks – and maybe it’s the Disney effect. West Palm Beach is the oldest large municipality in South Florida, even older than Miami. It’s a beautiful place in so many ways, so we can wonder why our crook wanted to depart for New York.

A tow truck driver had responded to a call for help for a woman who said that her rental car was broken down on I-95. A deputy had spotted a disabled vehicle on northbound I-95 and pulled over, checked on the driver and radioed in a request for a tow truck. Everything seemed to be OK, so the deputy then left because the tow truck would soon arrive.

Sure enough, a few minutes later a wrecker from Universal Towing arrived. The tow truck operator thought that this looked like just one of many routine calls that came in every day. The woman was friendly and had a good sense of humor. So when she asked if she could take his yellow flatbed truck to New York, the driver, thinking she was joking, said "sure." “I thought she was playin',"

But the shocked tow truck operated watched the woman drive away in his tow truck that morning. He had turned his back for a second and Angela Estrella jumped into the tow truck and sped away northbound, maybe for New York. “Boss, you’re not going to believe this, but our truck is going to New York and I’m watching it drive away.” Well, this should be an easy catch – a bright yellow Tow Truck! But it was even easier.

deputy found Estrella inside the store buying diesel. A Volusia County deputy then responded and arrested Estrella, who refused to make a statement about the theft. She was booked and transferred to the Volusia County Branch Jail.

Was the lady just confused, thinking she had borrowed the truck and was not really a crook? No way! She had been on the run before, with pending charges in Osceola County for a high-speed chase that include attempted second-degree murder with a weapon, vehicular homicide and aggravated assault. During the chase, the lady hit 112 miles per hour while her two children were in the car.

RULE: Learn to Toe the Line Instead of Truckin’ the Tow. p ---5►Case of the Over Charging Robber◄

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Providence is the capital and most populous city in the smallest state of Rhode Island and was one of the first cities established in the United States. The city is named in honor of "God's merciful Providence".

The attempted holdup occurred in the historic city of Providence on a pleasant day in early spring. Dino Celseti tried to hold up the 7 - Eleven store on Atwells Avenue early in the morning. So what’s so unusual? After all, convenience stores are a typical target and the late night/early morning time slots are a popular time because no one’s around.

bring. Is it assault with a dangerous weapon? Assault and battery without the battery? We’ll have to wait for the trial and not jump to conclusions. But our robber did use jumper-cables, or at least a clamp, to threaten the store clerk and take off with more than $200 from the register. Maybe he thought it would look like a tasar, or the clerk would fear being pinched. But he didn’t get very far, and this was his own doing.

It seems that Celseti left the keys to his getaway car inside the store. Maybe he should have worked with the Rhode Island robbers that couldn’t get their getaway car started [#22 - Don’t Bank on an Old Getaway Car]. So there was our jumper crook looking for his keys when officers arrived on the scene and promptly took Celseti into custody – at gunpoint. Well, they jumped the jump crook and not his car – and yes, he got pinched.

You are probably better off with no weapon, like, just fake it, instead of something as absurd as jumper cables. Some clerks are packing guns and you never want to get caught with your cables down in a gun fight. The second rule is easy – keep your keys in your pocket, or leave the thing running unless you’re worried about car jackers.

RULES: Don’t Bring Jumper Cables to a Gun Fight. p

---6►Case of the Over-weight Suitcase – a Shut and Opened Case◄

MEXICO - Mexican police arrested a bulging and overweight woman wheeling a bulging and overweight suitcase out of a Chetumal state prison - Centro de Rehabilitación Social, aka the "Cereso") on the Yucatán Peninsula.

While wives can make an overnight conjugal stay to visit an incarcerated husband, they don’t need a mega-size suitcase with wheels. And this suitcase was bulging and even seemed to be “restless”. Something was not right, even by Mexican prison standards. But the young lady had trouble getting the suitcase up the stairs and when she missed a step, the suitcase hopped like a Mexican jumping bean. The prison staff also thought the hefty woman looked nervous as she struggled with a bulky black suitcase and it wasn’t just their licentious stares.

must have been embarrassing for Juan who is reported to be a big shot in the Mexican prison where inmates run the show to a large extent.

Photo credit: Quintana Roo Department of Public Security. RULE: Pack Light or Pack it up.

p ---7►A Clean Get-a-Way?◄

FREMONT, New Hampshire - The area was once famous for its high-quality eastern white pine trees that had been reserved for use as ship masts of the Royal Navy. But residents began to use the wood for home construction and couldn’t care less about the Royal Navy. So when the surveyor-general visited to inspect lumber, local citizens assembled, discharged firearms and dispersed the King's men to a local tavern. This insurrection would be known as the Mast Tree Riot. So don’t expect to get away with anything in this town

Then, two young men were spotted in a canoe on the Exeter near the crime area. “How come you have a TV in that there canoe?” Good question since it wasn’t a portable TV. Now, Fremont police say they believe two men, in their early 20s, used a canoe to paddle up to the backs of homes along the river and steal items, including a car. A car? Right, one paddled and the other peddled away in the car. Police have identified the thieves as two men from Derry who were dropped off in Raymond for a three-day canoe and camping trip down the Exeter River. Police said the men entered up to nine cars, rummaged through items, and stole cash and electronic items including iPods. The men are also believed to have stolen a black Subaru from one house. Police said it appears the pair took the vehicle for a joyride, putting 100 miles on the vehicle, before returning it to an area near the home with extensive damage and mud all over the vehicle. We couldn’t find a picture of the loaded canoe, but they may have graduated from Kayak Crimes.

RULE: Crime in a Canoe can send you up the Creek without a Paddle. p

---8►Don’t Pepper the Cops◄

SAN DIEGO, California - San Diego is a beautiful city on the coast of the Pacific Ocean in Southern California adjacent to the Mexican border and with a population of over one and a quarter million people.

firearm, identified himself as a police officer and ordered the assailant to the ground. The attacker immediately complied while his two companions ran like Hell. Once the perpetrator was on the ground with the officer’s foot on his neck, Jackman called authorities. The surprised Angel was easily taken into custody when confronted with a loaded service weapon held by someone who knew how to shoot.

The accused sprayer pleaded not guilty to robbery and use of a deadly weapon charges. Bet you didn’t know pepper spray was a deadly weapon. In most places, it’s OK to use it in self-defense, but it becomes a felony if you use it as a weapon or for a crime. The two other people with Blanco fled and are still at large and the silent Angel will likely get a tougher sentence for his “no snitch” act. There are at least three other cases throughout San Diego County in which the same method of operation was used. Earlier, two suspects got out of a black four-door sedan in Old Town and walked up to a 38-year-old man, sprayed him in the face with pepper spray and demanded cash. The victim refused to comply and was sprayed a second time. Well, either this guy was really tough, or the spray was wimpy. The suspects decided to flee without any cash or property from the victim. The pepper crime wave seems to have fizzled since Dr. Pepper Spray was caught and couldn’t raise $75,000 bail.

Another thing that the sprayer crook didn’t know is that officers are sprayed with the irritant when they train. But most, including Jackman, inhaled pepper spray many times while on-duty. “It still hurts, but you get use to it.” But if the 6 feet 2 inches tall, 220 pound assailant didn’t comply, he would probably be shot since officers always assume hidden weapons. And sure enough, they found a knife in Angel’s pocket. But Officer Jackman was happy that he was the target. “I’m glad he found me instead of an innocent person that he could have hurt, so chalk one up for the good guys.”

HYANNIS, Massachusetts - Hyannis is the commercial and transportation hub of Cape Cod and sometimes referred to as the "Capital of the Cape". One of their best known products is Cape Cod Potato Chips. Even John F. Kennedy spent time in the town and this is reflected by a memorial to President Kennedy on the Lewis Bay waterfront. We don’t know if he bought chips, however. While Hyannis is a fine place to visit or reside, there's crime here too. But it tends to be petty stuff with rather unsophisticated crooks. And traffic can make a get-a-way kind of tough.

Three Hyannis men barged into a Dunkin' Donuts with knives and a hatchet as they staged a stupidly, but daring holdup. Right, this is a cop hangout. Police say masked and armed men demanded a paper bag that was in one of the worker's purses. The master mind crook figured that the owner would make a bank deposit at the end of her shift. They grabbed that bag and high tailed it out of the doughnut shop and then down the street out of sight. But just because Hyannis is a little laid back doesn’t mean the stores aren’t savvy. And the doughnut shop was no exception. They had a nice compliment of high definition digital security cameras. The men were captured on video and police were able to track them down the very next day.

Police do not take kindly to crooks that are looking for dough in one of their favorite doughnut shops. So how much did they get? Mr. Master Mind crook mistakenly believed the clerk was carrying a bag of cash from the day's receipts. But the crooks never looked inside. Arrested were 19-year-old Nicholas Mercurio, 21-year-old Lukas Peterson and 20-year-old Charles Iliffe. But when cops pinched the Doughboy trio, there was a surprise. And there was a problem coming up with the appropriate charges. Sure, it was armed robbery, two knives and a hatchet, and they sure ran off with the dough. But here’s where it gets sticky. The three crooks had stolen doughnut dough - real dough. They never dreamed that the doughnut diva loved doughnuts. She always took home some doughnuts. Where were the cash receipts? Maybe the crew was eating all the profits.

RULE: Don’t Mix Up Dough with Dough, Duh.

p ---10►The Idea That Just Kept On Growing◄

VANCOUVER, Washington - Vancouver is a picturesque city on the north bank of the Columbia River and was incorporated in 1857. The city shares its name with the larger city of Vancouver in the Canadian province of British Columbia. Both cities were named in honor of sea captain George Vancouver who must have been some sailor.

hog and you need plenty of electricity. Illegal growers typically by-pass the electric meter to avoid the hefty bill for all the UV lights and this one would have been hefty. The estimated electric bill in the US for indoor marijuana growing is $5-billion. Many utilities will also report a large spike in electric use to the police since it can be a tipoff for illicit growers.

So what were they growing, as if you haven’t already guessed? How about 1,600 marijuana plants in this house in Vancouver. Clark-Skamania Drug Task Force estimated their value at $2.4 million. The growers were nabbed when they drove up to find out what all the commotion was about. The Drug Task Force made other busts in the same year, but even the biggest was only half this size at 839 live marijuana plants with a value of $1.3 million. A fully grown mature plant can be worth $700 to $1,200.

Other than the electric give-away, marijuana growing gives all kinds of signs if you know what to look for. There are often stains on the roof, especially if it is made of tiles. The stains are indicative of moisture seeping from a large marijuana grow. Another tipoff is random occupancy - only occasional visits by owners or renters. With the poor housing market, growers are seeking large houses in affluent neighborhoods with the idea that no one would suspect illegal activities.

The operation can have a level of sophistication. Bedrooms and even walk-in closets were set up with expensive equipment such as grow lights, water pumps, charcoal filters, fans, timers, venting pipes and nutrient-packed grow cubes, which resemble Styrofoam and substitute for soil. Carbon filters, up to one foot in diameter, are used with the air piped up to vent as high as possible to lessen the smell of growing marijuana that neighbors might notice. A large pot farm will give off telltale aromas and the charcoal filters will help remove these odors. Most plants were being grown without soil, using liquid chemical fertilizers that flowed to grow cubes of various sizes. The grow lights were fitted with timers and reflective shields.

RULE: Watch out How you Grow a New Business.

---11►Being a Queen on Camera can be a Drag◄

AUBURN, Massachusetts - Auburn is a colonial town that was settled all the way back in 1789. But Auburn is not just any old Colonial town, no indeed. Rocket star, Robert Goddard, lived there. He is considered to be the father of modern rocketry for launching the first successful liquid-fueled rocket from his Aunt Eiffie's farm in Auburn in 1926. That launch site is a National Historic Landmark. The town proudly hosts the Goddard Memorial Park that has a prototype of this first rocket alongside a big Polaris Ballistic Missile.

Among the shops in Auburn, is Glamour Boutique, originally an Internet on-line shopping store that opened a fancy boutique there in the late 1990’s. Later, they opened a store on The Strip in Las Vegas where there was a little more action than Colonial Rocket Town. The boutique specialized in wigs, lingerie and corsets. The company says they are enthusiastic about helping customers find the exact body-shaping, beauty and fashion products they seek – and focused on building lasting customer relationships. Owner John Warrener says his clients include women and some men who enjoy the good old alternative lifestyle. The clientele, whether they are girls or boys, or in between, are well behaved and a friendly fun-loving bunch. So, the storeowner was rather surprised by a recent robbery in Auburn. But this was not your ordinary style Plain Jane stickup. Shockingly, the Boutique was ripped off by a group of drag queens. Warrener said that five “guys” he described as "Drag Queen Performers" came into the store and shoplifted a number of items. "When you see people piling things into pocketbooks and stuff like that it really is a shock."

The theft was a coordinated effort that took place while the owner was helping another customer. The next day, he determined that a special ordered wig was missing. But the Drag Queen Performers made an appearance on stores security cameras. The owner immediately recognized three of the “boys” and was able to identify the other two. Maybe it was just a dress, or undress, rehearsal?

---12►The Great Cheesecake Bandit Capture◄

ASHEVILLE, North Carolina – Asheville does have something to brag about. First, its home to the United States National Climatic Data Center (NCDC), the world's largest active archive of weather data. But wait, there’s more. Asheville has managed some impressive titles that include, "New Freak Capital of the U.S.", "Happiest City for Women", and one of the "Best Places to Reinvent Your Life", but most impressive, it has kept the championship title, "Beer City USA" each year starting in 2009.

The local police were befuddled when a man broke in to the restaurant, ate half of a cheesecake and drank four bottles of beer. First, beer and cheesecake don’t go together that well, and the crook had plenty of other items on the menu at Fisherman's Quarters Restaurant. Beer is a common choice, but cheesecake is not. So, of course, he was designated as the Cheesecake Bandit and the crime was “theft by consumption” – yup, a genuine charge. The bungler didn’t seem to pay much attention to the burglar alarm, either, but he may have thought the whoop sound was part of the atmosphere.

Asheville Police arrested the "Cheesecake Bandit", a 51-year old guy named Curtis Montgomery. He wasn’t hard to find, just follow a trail of cheesecake droppings. Our crook was hiding in a storeroom near the back of the restaurant. Montgomery had minor cuts on his elbow from breaking in to the business and a telltale ring of cheesecake – “Got Cheesecake”! He was charged with Felony Breaking and Entering, Larceny after Breaking and Entering and Injury to Personal Property. They didn’t charge him with bad taste, but maybe cheesecake and beer isn’t that bad after all. He was deposited into the Buncombe County Jail with bond set at $3,000. Although Montgomery isn’t the first Cheesecake Bandit, he is in a class by himself, at least in the USA. Australia did have a case of a bakery break-in where cheesecake was stolen, but so was some loot. But most cheesecake and pastry crooks grab cold cash, not hot baked goods.

---13►Texting Can Leave You Holding the Bag◄

ASHEVILLE, North Carolina – Hey, we’re back here again, so what is this, a crime spree in Asheville? Maybe it’s a coincidence, or maybe Asheville has weird crooks. Recall that the town is the home of the world’s largest weather data base. Yup, home of NCDC – National Climactic Data Center. Since weathermen can drive you crazy, maybe there’s something weird going on. Anyway, here’s another caper from this charming southern city. The Asheville Citizen-Times reported the manager of a Dollar Tree store was leaving the business on a Saturday night when two men pulled up in a car and threatened him with a gun. They demanded the bag containing the night's bank deposit. So far, this is a common modus operandi, the old night receipts stickup. And they escaped with about $1700, a lot of dollars for the night perhaps proving that money grows on Dollar Trees.

The cops had two suspects, but not a strong case to tie them to the heist. And they might just be barking up the wrong Tree. Detectives investigated the robbery and interviewed all Dollar Tree employees. An alert investigating officer noticed one store employee, named Cameron, acting very nervous. A first-rate detective is a good psychologist and an expert at reading character as well as body language. The officers asked if they could check the guy’s cell phone. Was this dick psychic, or what? A quick look at text messages “sent” showed that the bank employee had sent a note telling the two suspects when the manager was leaving the store. BINGO! A written confession and the ID of accomplices. The two holdup men where easily tracked down and locked up. Cops were pretty sure they had the right dudes from the manager’s detailed descriptions. Long-haired Dominick had a hair style that’s been out of fashion for a while – even in Ashville. The worker and the two men were charged with robbery with a dangerous weapon. Well, it appears that you can’t always judge a man by his name, especially Cameron Sharpe. But in the case of the other robber, David Michael Dull, maybe so, since he had spent over a year in jail for a similar crime.

RULE: Whether you’re Sharpe or Dull, Texting while Heisting can be Dangerous. p

---14►Case of the Porno Phone Exposure◄

back in 1880. One of the city’s residents, 24-year Taylor James, had no idea that he might be going to get an invite to see the inside of those old walls.

All Mr. James did was lose his phone on the way back from some errands. Lose a phone today, and it’s usually gone and you might even get a few unexpected charges if you don’t move quickly. But it appeared that Mr. James was lucky when the maintenance crew found the phone in a parking lot. The honest crew wanted to get the phone back to the owner right away and decided to try and locate a home number or address. Well, calling the cell phone number didn’t work, so one of the men attempted to open up the address book. But he ended up looking at some graphic files – very graphic. That’s when the good Samaritans decided to let the police find the rightful owner.

And the police were very efficient at locating Mr. James. In fact, they decided to make a home visit. When they arrived at the man’s home, he was happy to see his phone, but not so pleased with the questioning. It seems that the phone contained 40 pornographic photos. And these photos were to become a big problem for the phone’s owner. All the photos were of children. Mr. James was arrested for possession of obscene matter depicting persons under 14 years of age and this is a big deal. James was booked into the Sacramento County Jail and held on $50,000 bail. But what if the guy didn’t put the photos on the phone? Well, that’s for the court to decide. But associates wanted to expose this perp, and posted comments from those claiming to know the guy said he was “baaad” news right out of high school.

RULE: No Password? Then so not Pass Go.

p ---15► OnStar is Here to Help or StopU2◄

to being the first large space lighted by Edison's light bulb way back in 1883 at the Southern Exposition. So maybe the tech-savvy history just makes its citizens above average when it comes to high tech.

Ryan Roge kept thinking about the Chevy Equinox. The car is a good-looking crossover with upscale styling and slung low to the ground. The performance is impressive for an SUV type vehicle that boasts 32 MPG highway and a highway driving range of about 600 miles. Ryan just had to have one and he finally got what he wanted. The car was well equipped and that included OnStar, that neat linkup by satellite (actually, cellular and satellite) you’ve seen demonstrated in TV ads. OnStar has a host of impressive services including Stolen Vehicle Assistance with features like Vehicle Tracking. It has advanced features like Vehicle Slowdown and Ignition Block. A call from the police and the theft services can be activated by satellite - anywhere, anytime.

Unfortunately for Mr. Roge, he made some bad choices. The car he selected was equipped with the full On Star service, generally, a good thing. What made it a bad choice was another bad choice – auto theft. Our car crook, Ryan Roge, didn't get very far, and it's due to modern technology. The arrest report for 46-year-old Ryan, indicated that he was quickly located and stopped so that great driving range of 600 miles was not very useful. Police say Roge was still driving the vehicle when they spotted him. It’s probably a good thing since Ryan looks like he needs some rest anyway.

RULE: Two Wrongs can Land you Right in Jail

p ---16►The Crappy Carpet Caper◄

agricultural center, and a terminus for wagon trains, stagecoaches, riverboats, the telegraph, the Pony Express, and the First Transcontinental Railroad.

Sacramento Police were making a routine patrol in the south section of this capital city. Justin Howard was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a home with a backpack. Police wanted to check on his well being. Actually, they wanted to know what the Hell he was up to. But Justin wasn't going to sit around and answer dumb questions, like "What ya packing there, dude?" So, of course, he took off when the cops headed his way. There was a foot-chase, the 2nd most popular Cops TV activity after the ubiquitous high-speed car chase. Now, officers were just a little suspicious, "Why is the dude running like the Hounds of Hell are after his butt", they wondered. One of them thought he recognized the runner as a guy on probation, so a probation search was in order. With all that neck tattoo, it would be hard not to recognize this guy.

And what do you do while running from cops? You throw stuff away. And, just like a script, the cops see you throw stuff away. When the cops found the thrown object was a loaded gun inside a bag, they became a little more suspicious. A parolee with a loaded concealed weapon is not too cool, even in California!

So the cops definitely needed to have a chat with Jason, but inexplicably, this dude had disappeared? He was nowhere in sight and there was nowhere to hide. So, what do cops do on TV? Bring in the dog – another favorite of TV fans. And, just like on TV, the K-9 doggie found the target hiding just down the street in plain sight. Where was he hiding? Well, Jason was underneath a roll of carpet lying on the side of a house. The old sweep me under the carpet trick didn’t work. It was an easy task for the K-9 and the exceedingly lumpy crappy carpet was a throw-away give-away.

RULE: Don’t Try and Sweep Evidence Under the Carpet, even if it is You. p

WOODBRIDGE, Virginia - Woodbridge is only 20 miles from Washington, D.C. making it an ideal DC bedroom community. It’s an attractive place bounded by the Occoquan and Potomac rivers. The area takes its name from the 1795 wooden toll bridge built to carry the King's Highway traffic across the Occoquan River.

Police responded to a burglary in the early morning at the MVC Late Night store. That may seem like a weird name for a store, but it makes sense when you consider that it's one of those adult products stores. Officers arrived at the store on Jefferson Davis Highway in the early am hours and saw evidence of a break-in, real obvious evidence. Someone had shattered the glass in the front door and unlocked it to get inside according to Prince William Police. So, where was the crook? With nowhere to hide, maybe the perp had already fled. But, just to be sure, why not let the K-9 squad have a crack at it. A police dog was sent in and soon led officers to a door they hadn't noticed. The dog sure wanted in. "Come out or the dog will bite your butt?” These dogs typically bite arms, not butts. The latter threat has a better psychological effect and off the record, cops may threaten worse locations for the dog attack. The closet door creaked opened and cops were surprised to find two people inside. And, shockingly, they weren't fully clothed. Well, maybe it wasn’t really a shock since this was a sex shop.

RULE: Closet Perverts Beware: a K-9 can Blow your Blown Cover. p

---18►Try Sticking Up a Bank with a Checkbook◄

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – It’s the northernmost city in the United States with more than 100,000 residents and has a population of more than one quarter million for the total region. Even those are small numbers compared to the lower-forty-eight, Anchorage is Alaska's most populous city boasting about 40% of the state's total population. Only New York City has a higher percentage of residents who live in that state's most populous city.

A guy in a plaid jacket walked into the bank near closing and handed the teller a piece of paper. That’s usually the best time to hand a teller a note. Predictably, the note demanded cash. The robber wrote that he needed money to see his mother, maybe not a real bad guy. But then, he threatened to kill the bank clerk, not so nice. "You're getting robbed," stated the note, and added, “…don’t ask any questions, my name is Satan, if you don't give me money I will kill you." This guy was some writer. The teller saw the word "kill" repeated several times on the note and stopped reading in order to comply with the demands.

The literary crook, anxious to get things right, started making out a check. "Who do I make the check out to," the robber asked. "First National," the teller replied, now more at ease with the realization that this was one dumb crook. The robber, a guy named Aubrey, signed the check in his own name, writing it to his personal account. Aubrey might have been trying to appear to onlookers as if he was doing legitimate business, or maybe he hadn’t thought the whole thing through.

information, cops would have nailed him. He also left a good set of photos behind in the security system [see photo].

RULE: A Successful Robbery Requires a Checklist, not a Check Stub p

---19►Cabby Bags Bag-toting Bumblers◄

MALDEN, Massachusetts – Malden was settled by Puritans way back in 1640 on land purchased from Native Americans in 1629. It was once named, "Best Place to Raise Your Kids" by Bloomberg Business week. So maybe it’s just a little surprising that crime happens here. Shortly after midnight, a bright yellow Checker was held up. The cab driver was robbed by a man and a woman he had picked up. This was no ordinary robbery as you’ll find out. The woman sat in the front seat while the man opted for the back seat, and this made the veteran cabby a little suspicious. On the way to their destination, the man tried to put a trash bag over the driver’s head while both demanded money. Keep in mind that the bag trick is being pulled while the cab is speeding down the street. The cabby hit the brakes and came to a screeching halt – it’s kind of hard to drive when you can’t see. Our savvy cabbie fought the male suspect in the street while the woman accomplice grabbed some of the cab driver’s belongings. Then the two crooks fled. Cops were alerted and arrived quickly. The cabbie was able to give the cops a perfect description.

But the wayward couple wasn’t satisfied with just knocking off cabs; they were hitting stores, too, all in the same evening. They were on a roll, even without the cab. The pair was arrested the same night after one of them was caught shoplifting from a grocery store. Initially, police used video footage, photos, and interviews to identify the alleged crooks as Jaime, 34, and Jason, also 34. A few hours later, cops located the couple at the Stop & Shop in Malden. As police arrived, the man was being held for shoplifting in the 3rd _{incident of the} night.

We can thank the savvy cabbie since he held the piece that tied his crooks with the other incidents. Seems that Jaime left her pocketbook behind in the cab. Inside the pocketbook police found pay stubs listing her name and loan paperwork with Jason’s name. A little detective work provided everything needed to ID the robbers and bag the perpetrators. Names yield license photos and then the game is over. Evidence piled up as the pair was caught on surveillance video using the cab driver’s bank card at a Dunkin’ Donuts and trying to withdraw money from an ATM. The cabbie was happy that he could return the rider’s property and say hello – in court. The “no tip” was traded for a “tip off”.

RULE: Don’t get Trashed trying to Bag a Savvy Cabbie. p ---20►Not a Laughing Matter◄

MEMPHIS, Tennessee – Memphis has a population of nearly 700,000 making it the largest city in the state of Tennessee and the largest city on the Mississippi River. Memphis was founded in 1819 and named after the ancient capital of Egypt on the Nile River. Memphis is the home of founders and pioneers of various American music genres, including Memphis soul, Memphis blues, gospel, rock n' roll, and a whole lot more. A large number of famous musicians got their start in Memphis and include, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, the M.G.'s, Otis Redding, B.B. King, and dozens more. And let’s not forget Elvis Presley.

It was a beautiful Thanksgiving Day and most were giving thanks at home. Not so for 82-year-old Thomas Copeland and 28-82-year-old Eric Vaughn. They were living it up Beale Street style at the Tap Room. These two men were at the bar that Thursday night, running up a tab. It was a ho-hum night until they skipped out on their $28 tab. Well, the bar keeper wasn’t going to go along with it, Thanksgiving, or not. So off he went and spotted the freeloaders on Beale Street. A quick call to the police got some action on a slow night that needed a little stirring up and some rhythm.

downfall. Vaughn tripped and crashed to the ground. Even though the cops were now laughing, they caught their subject and took him in. There’s no record of whether old Tom was laughing at the antics, but if so, he and the cops had the last laugh. Eric probably stopped laughing for his mug shot – a real clown.

RULE: Slap Stick or Slip Stick, Focus – like on Running. p ---21►Don‘t Throw in the Towel◄

BRADENTON, Florida – The area that would become Bradenton (originally, "Bradentown") was first explored in the 1500's by Hernando De Soto, famous Spanish explorer and conquistador, who began his search for the legendary El Dorado. The city took the name of Dr. Joseph Braden, whose nearby fort-like house was a refuge for early settlers during Seminole Indian attacks. But the place has come a long way in a few hundred years.

This crook decided to try some purse snatching at a local 7-Eleven convenience store perhaps was shy about knocking over the cash register under the control of a large, tough-looking clerk. Many robbery victims in Florida don’t give in without a fight, and many carry licensed weapons. Florida recently set a record with over 1-million gun permits. And those that aren’t carrying can be even tougher than those with guns.

And sure enough, while our crook pulled the purse, the lady held onto her purse even while the perp dragged her a short distance. But finally, the big coward got the best of the little women and ran out of the store with her purse. Not so fast! Help is on the way. The woman’s son chased down the crook and made a grab. But after the robber pulled a gun, the son wisely held off on retrieving mom’s property.

your head is going to attract attention. The towel either fell off, or smart crook threw it away. The county sheriff, well versed in DNA technology, grabbed the towel and sent it to the state’s well-equipped crime lab. Sure enough, the DNA data matched up in the national data base. While some states have a DNA backlog, Florida knows how to unravel DNA problems quickly. Deputies arrested 36-year old Terry Jackson, who admitted the crime. After being so easily caught, we hope he’s throwing in the towel on crime.

RULE: Forget Something Checklist: Wallet? License? Your Towel? Bingo! p

---22►Don’t Bank on an Old Getaway Car◄

WEST GREENWICH, Rhode Island - West Greenwich is a small town in Kent County named for Greenwich, Kent, England. It is one of the least densely populated communities in the State with roughly 6000 residents. It has one of the highest percentages of permanent open space, about half of the total land, preserved as open space and large parks.

On a sunny morning in the picturesque city of West Greenwich, a pair of masked dumb crooks grabbed the bank manager as she was opening the branch of the Centerville Savings Bank on well-traveled Route 102. One robber held a loaded and functional gun to her head and demanded that the safe be opened. But a second manager arrived at the bank and explained to the robbers that there was a fifteen-minute delay between the opening of the outer and inner bank vault doors. The idea is to thwart this type of hold-up. Next, the gun-toting robber threatened all of the bank employees and then demanded that they empty the contents of all of the cashier drawers into a black bag provided by the robber. Everyone complied and turned over nearly $82,000 to the robbers. Before departing, the robbers held employees at gunpoint and bound them with Zip Ties.

But a witness called police when he saw the two masked robbers run from the bank. And if that wasn’t enough, one of the workers was able to get free from the Zip Ties and call 911. The Good Samaritan witness spotted the pair a few minutes later walking out of woods near the bank and then crossing the road. They headed towards the rear of an industrial building and disappeared. Cops were already on the scene and surrounded the building. West Greenwich police and a Rhode Island State Police trooper located a car behind the building. Sitting behind the wheel was one of the robbers, a guy from Vermont named Peters, who was going nowhere in a hurry. Why? Because the car wouldn’t start.

Alas, the getaway car broke down and the two robbers had been hoofing it. Both were taken into custody at gunpoint even though they had separated. The pair was thinking about fleeing the area before they were detained, but apparently, did not consider using the bank manager’s car.

Eventually, the pair was indicted and then tried in Federal court. Louis Peters III, of Vermont and Craig Carey of Massachusetts were charged with threatening employees during the armed robbery. They will not be doing any driving for a long time. Maybe they should have partnered with the guy who used jumpers as a hold-up weapon (see previous case #5). RULE: Don’t let your Clunker Drive you to the Clinker.

p ---23►Ice Heist Screamers◄

TILTON, New Hampshire – Tilton is a tiny New England town with a population density of about one person per square mile. So, it’s hard to be a crook without holding up a neighbor. So what do you rob? How about one of the two jewelry stores in the town? Well, someone did the heist and it was big news – for quite awhile as we shall see.

Tilton Police arrested the fifth and final suspect in an armed robbery of Kay Jewelers. The robbers had pointed handguns at customers and employees in a reckless manner – a bad idea that makes everyone mad and ups the chargers. Then, they ordered everyone onto the floor before smashing glass cases with hammers. They stole about a quarter of a million dollars in jewelry in this non-classical “Smash & Grab” style robbery. The standard Smash & Grab involves running in, smashing, grabbing loot and running away – real fast. The S & G scheme is to move so fast that no one figures out what’s going on until it’s over. But, with this one, it was irritate and threaten customers, smash and wreck the place, and finally grab the loot. Now if you’re going to make all this ruckus, people are sure to look at your mug. So, the robbers wore Halloween masks to hide their faces – another common no brainer strategy that usually backfires unless maybe, it is Halloween.

certainly were a danger to the public." Well, if you come all the way from California to hold up a town with a population of a few thousand, you probably are real dangerous.

So how did the masked bandits get caught? The break in the case came when two people who saw news coverage of the robbery found one of the masks, likely worn by one of the robbers. A highway worker apparently found two other discarded “Scream” masks where the suspects had their second getaway car waiting. Gang of robbers, bunch of masks, two getaway cars, and no brains. You guessed it, the cops were able to gather DNA evidence off the masks. The DNA of many, if not most crooks, is on file in a massive database that is becoming as valuable as the early, but highly useful, finger print system. Recently, the US Supreme Court ruled that cops can collect DNA evidence under the same principle as taking finger prints for booking. And it was great example of a collective effort by authorities. The Manchester Police Department, FBI, U.S. Marshals, Los Angeles Police Department and Long Beach Police Department all assisted in the investigation.

RULE: Mask your Mug - leave DNA - not cool, but a real Scream. p

---24►Look Ma, No Prints◄

certificate and a Social Security Card, the amount depending on how clean the person wants the criminal record to be.

Authorities said this guy had removed his own fingerprints in an effort to hide his identity. This is an old stunt tried by bank robbers and other bad guys many eons ago. The legendary Chicago bank robber, John Dillinger, is believed to have attempted to burn his own fingerprints off unsuccessfully after plastic surgery was unsuccessful. The FBI said it was still able to match what was left of Dillinger’s prints. So, it didn’t work then, and it’s just about useless with today’s modern technology, even if all apparent traces of prints are removed. While “latent prints” is one of the oldest forensic fields, progress continues in modern times.

Although DNA can be used, there’s an easier and faster method in use today and its facial recognition. Authorities are increasingly using facial recognition technology and a major national program, under FBI authority, is expected to be completed during 2014. How did they nab our Dominican guy? You start with interstate motor vehicle records that provide a wealth of mug shots that are linked to names and addresses. They learned that this guy had acquired four different Massachusetts driver's licenses under different names and Social Security numbers based on searching his mug through these files. Same face – different name – quintuplets? Not likely. Face recognition software, even free consumer-level stuff, like Google’s Picasa, works surprisingly well. Our bad guy had been deported in the past after serving time on a drug conviction, so it’s not surprising that he wanted obscurity. And sure enough, he was right back in the USA only two months later – but “printless”, he thought, but certainly clueless. This time, the judge ordered Robert Cordero-Luciano back to the Dominican Republic after he completes his sentence. He’ll probably be back, maybe after plastic surgery.

RULE: You can Run, and you Rerun, but you can’t Hide from High Tech p

CENTER HARBOR, New Hampshire - Center Harbor is a small town with only 1,000 residents, but population multiplies several-fold during the summer months. And as you might have guessed, the harbor is located between two other harbors - clever, very clever. Anything famous here? Yes, it was the home of Dudley Leavitt who wrote the first Farmers' Almanac way back in 1797.

Linda Carr got home around noon on a Saturday and noticed that her door didn’t look right. In fact, part of the doorframe was gone, suspicious, indeed. Most people would have run to a neighbor’s house, or flagged down a car. But 63-year old Linda headed inside without hesitation. Linda wasn’t foolhardy; she was very worried about her beloved dog – was little Lola still in the house and was she alright? As she was peeking around corners, out jumped a would-be burglar. She found, 29-year old Richard Royea walking out of her bedroom.

He attempted to walk by her, but she grabbed onto him while whipping out her phone to called 911. She grabbed onto the knapsack on his back, but the crook kept trying to get out and pulled away. Off came the knapsack. But Linda wasn’t going to let him get away with breaking into her home. So she then grabbed him by the collar and hung on. Finally, she dragged him back inside and yelled at him sit, stay and not move. She made him sit in the living room and wait for police. He was definitely afraid of Linda.

Maybe her dog obedience training experience kicked in, but whatever, it worked. “Don’t you dare leave.” The crook yelled back, “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t” and he didn’t. Now that things were under control, Linda made the crook empty his pockets. Just about that time, cops showed up to find the crook emptying his pockets of jewelry and prescription drugs and there was more of her stuff in the backpack. Maybe Linda was that intimidating, or maybe the crook realized that he had known Linda every since he was a small child living just down the road.

So, how could Linda Carr have the guts to encounter a burglar? She thought about her late husband during the incident. Her husband had passed away almost three years ago, but Linda always felt that he was watching over her, “Kind of protecting me, because I was shy and bashful and I just felt that he was there and he encouraged me to do it”. Then she added, “Time somebody caught him doing what he’s doing”. Right on Linda, and maybe someone was watching over you. What about the dog? Lola the cocker spaniel was hiding under the bed during the entire incident. Although the old dog’s position in the household is apparently secure, Linda is considering getting a bigger dog, or one with more guts like Linda.

RULE: Don’t Underestimate Woman Power

HOWELL, Michigan – Howell is a small town in the southeastern end of the state of Michigan. That state is not well known for having noteworthy reptiles, certainly not gators, so authorities were more than surprised when they heard that a 14 foot alligator was cruising down the road. Something was fishy and it wasn’t the gator - a genuine reptile that abounds in Florida and Louisiana and even as far as Oklahoma. An alligator couldn’t survive a Michigan winter although there have been a few reports of loose gators caught in the state, but probably they were pets.

Well, our flying gator was a pet of sorts and this imported big guy was missing from his barn. Well, where else would you keep a big gator in Michigan? But the owner was apparently a CIS TV fan and got on the case real quick. He was a good tracker, but it wasn’t gator tracks that caught his attention. By the way, gators often leave a snake-like trail as they slither along, and it’s a wide one that’s not easily missed. The alligator's owner located fresh tire tracks near his barn but no gator in sight. He had a strong suspicion that the gator getaway was by truck. Like a good detective, he photographed the tracks, presumably so he could match them up if he spotted a suspicious vehicle. Fortunately, the road was muddy and the owner was a first-rate tracker. The upset owner followed the tracks down the road and finally to a party in Deerfield Township.

Bingo! Some guys were driving their vehicles around in the mud, maybe thinking the gator wanted to frolic in the stuff. The angry owner confronted the crooks, “You took my gator!” He laughed at their story about getting the gator in Florida. “Tell it to the sheriff and here he comes, now.” The big gator was strapped to the roof of the muddy vehicle. So what happened?

the barn in Hartland Township. These guys were so drunk at 5-times the legal limit that they probably would have tried to grab a live gator – good thing they weren’t in Florida.

RULE: If you’re an Alligator Mud Wrestling, Bring Your Own Gator p

---27►Banana Splits with Gorilla◄

STRONGSVILLE, Ohio – Strongsville, a suburb of Cleveland, doesn't seem to have any particular distinction, but does have a nice clock tower, a rustic covered bridge and a rather pretty gazebo in the Town Square. But strange things can happen in a nice town.

Police are looking for a tall, yellow-skinned crook that has a distinctive stoop, or maybe even spine curvature. What did this strange-looking character do? He is wanted for attacking and kidnapping – serious crimes. But wait, he attacked a gorilla. It gets worse! The perp was a banana.

This case is a topsy-turvy situation. Gorillas might attack bananas, but not the other way around – until now, and its indistinctive Strongville. Cops were humiliated by the banana when he gave them the slip. It was the unsolved banana split case and plenty of monkeying around. So, what happened?

RULE: Make Sure you’re a Tough Banana even if you’re a Nut Job p

---28►High for Pills?◄

PACE, Florida – Pace is not all that far from Pensacola that hosts a large Navy base and museum, so it has a military flavor. Florida is noted for many good things, but also notorious for some bad stuff. One of the bad features was Pill Mills, where narcotic type pain pills could be too easily obtained. Unscrupulous physicians were key players and could make millions of dollars. So-called “patients” from all over the country, could get on-the-spot prescriptions that were immediately filled on the premises for a high fee. Illegal pill sales became epidemic, in part, because they are highly addictive.

Pill Mills have been a big deal and a major problem in Florida, but recent laws and heightened police activity have cut down the supply of ‘pill” narcotics. The result has been an increase in pharmacy robberies, however. Increased surveillance and patrols have put a dent in robberies during store hours so crooks are trying “new tricks”, but some are the old cat burglar tricks.

There are only so many ways to get into a pharmacy: through, under or over. While bank robbers have used tunneling because of the big payoff, the economics don’t justify this mode for a drug heist, or maybe the crooks are in a hurry to get a “fix”. So, a roof attack might seem like a good move.

Our roof-top crook did a lot of planning and was well prepared, so maybe he wasn’t a dumb crook, after all. He had plenty of tools, including climbing hardware, rappelling gear, and different types of rope lifts so he could pull the loot up. He even had a retractable ladder that could be collapsed to avoid detected. And he was a former employee, so he knew the layout. A former employee? That’s the first clue that we have a dumb crook. You guessed it! The first list of suspects includes employees and alumnae. Statistically, former employees are a better bet, especially if they were fired.

and all the lights came on inside and outside the store. Gee, and this guy had worked there and should have had some idea of the security system. At this hour of the morning, about 1 in the morning, deputies are just waiting for a burglar alarm call. And it’s too early for drunks. Sure enough, Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Deputies got the call and arrived in a minute or two. Where is Mr. Rooftop? Well, he’s stranded on the roof of a CVS pharmacy. While some deputies cleared the inside of the building, others checked the roof since there was no sign of a break-in. The security company could even report the source of the alarm, but the roof hatch was still open and quite visible from inside. Our crook, 27-year-old Joshua Stephen, was hiding behind a roof air conditioner. Crooks either hide behind a roof AC or try to jump off. He was charged with burglary, wearing a mask during the commission of a crime, criminal mischief, possession of burglary tools, and trespassing. Wow, a mask for a roof heist? While he didn’t need the mask, at least on the roof, it allowed one additional charge to be filed against him. No it wasn’t a cat mask and he wasn’t a very good cat burglar.

RULE: When you Case the Joint Where you Work, Go for Details, Like Alarm System p

---29►Don’t Rob Metals from a Guy with Mettle◄

EVANSVILLE, Indiana – The city of Evansville is known as "River City" because it’s on a nice horseshoe bend of the Ohio River. It was once voted the best city in the USA "to live, work, and play" by Kiplinger magazine. But there might be dark waters in River City. The Evansville Police Department added a second Guardian Surveillance Unit, a modified Brinks security truck, to the city's streets. It's equipped with multiple cameras that allow officers to remotely monitor bad activity but it also sends the message that ya better watch out – we are watching.

Sure enough, a date with fate was planned when Joseph Vallar came home and found the burglar in his home. The Army veteran could have handled the burglar with his bare hands, but he pulled a big loaded gun to keep things simple. The crook thought he might challenge the gun-toting home owner until he saw the laser beam come on – yup, real gun, and real bullets, real nasty gun-owner. Vet to dispatcher, "I just caught somebody breaking into my house, I have my gun drawn on him right now!" Our vet continued, "You ain't using the bathroom, you ain't using nothing, you're just going to lay there." Police were told to use the front door and come in and take this guy away. “I’m just sitting here by the front door with my gun drawn and pointed at the guy". Since the crook didn’t even bring his own knife to the potential gun fight, he stayed put until the cops hauled him away. By the way, Joe Vallar was with Army’s Special Forces and he knew how to handle a prisoner and that’s why they found Joshua Wilson with his legs crossed and his fingers interlocked. Cops always issue a statement to the effect “Let the police handle things because it could be dangerous.” While Joe Vallar agreed that you can’t be absolutely sure how things will turn out, he'd do it again if the situation arises. Joe had plenty of experience clearing houses, and capturing bad guys that might even have bombs. Nice going Joe.

RULE: Don’t even think about trying to stare down Special Forces and a big gun. p

---30►Cops Can Help You Even if You’re Dopey◄