Table of Contents
IN THE WAY YOU DO ANYTHING.. YOU DO EVERYTHING
2
ROW THROUGH THE WORLD WITH EASE
5
BE YOUR OWN COACH. THIS IS HOW YOU END UP FUCKING GIRLS IN LESS THAN 4
MONTHS
8
THE SECRETS TO PULLING, A COMPLETE BREAKDOWN
10
COMMUNICATING VALUES- EMOTIONAL STATE AND SEXUAL PROJECTION
15
OPENING: PROJECTING STATE
20
RED LEADER'S 1000TH POSTING
21
MAKING CONNECTIONS
28
STUFF I LEARNED GOING OUT 183 DAYS IN A ROW
36
ONE EASY WAY TO GO FROM INTERMEDIATE TO ADVANCED: INVISIBLE GAME
41
HUMAN AFTER ALL
44
ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FULLY MANNED UP IN ALL YOUR GLORY
48
SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ABOUT THE LEVEL OF FRAME CONTROL, BUT WHAT FRAME YOU
SET/REPRESENT: NATURAL VS. SELF-TAUGHT FRAMES
51
ASSUME THINGS ARE NOT A PHASE, BUT A PERMANENT CONDITION - UNLESS DRASTIC
MEASURES ARE TAKEN
52
In the way you do anything.. you do everything
Manwhore
Seems my ability to post has been resurrected as a certain number of threads have been deleted.
Just something I wanted to comment on; based on IMs, a current trend on here I've noticed, and the recent loss of Ciaran.
You guys gotta understand..
Pushing thru this stuff is the journey. Is the destination. As Tyler says "No one is above the process". The process is the deservedness. How do you get better..? You go out and do it. You experience life. See
something difficult that would be uncomfortable? Relish it. It is you growing. It takes a level of life experience to elevate yourself into an area where you "get" this stuff.
Some guys want the magic pill so you don't have to go thru it, feel the pain, GROW, and become men. Don't want to push yourself? How 'bout we cut off your foreskin at age 15. How 'bout we shove you out into the wilderness and make you kill a wild animal with your bare hands. How 'bout we require all men to join the military? Gawd I would love this. You trying to talk to me about how hard being social is? Geezez
That is the process. That is why you deserve women, why you deserve life, why you deserve the way people treat you and respond to you. Ya maybe you don't have to kill wild animals anymore. Maybe experiencing death or nature in its harshness is not the measure of adulthood anymore. But there still is a measure of who you are; in how you live your life.
Reason why you can't get yourself to do certain things socially, i.e. PU, will be the same reason you don't experience success in life. In the way you do anything.. you do everything.
You have to be able to, and have experienced the relative harshness of reality, accepted the personal responsibility of your life, figured out how to deal and make your mark on it, to come out the other side, having earned the respect of yourself, and therefore of those around you. Deal with the amogs, the social circle of friends, the bitch-shields, the attitudes, the logistics, the career, the boss, the debt, the higher education. Is this stuff going to grow you up? Make you tough and deserved of women? Hell yes.
Are you socially awkward, but otherwise sane? Good, RSD can help you deal with that. They will definitely help you deal with that. Give you a road map so you have a path and plan.
Want to get super fucking polished? Like.. bad ass. Attend a bootcamp.
Are you experiencing discomfort? Relative failure? GOOOOOD. That shit is awesome. The ability to push on in the face of hardship makes you who you are. Dealing with uncertainty with calmness, forthrightness, and pushing on with it is the measure of a dude.
I read about some guys going through despondent times, jaded over the community. WHY!
The community is not meant to fill that hole. It can lead/point you in the right direction. But if you're looking to gain/prove your self-worth by becoming better at getting reactions out of other people, out of women.. then holy shit you're fucked. Do you understand women look for this? Any time a woman can feel she is the measure of how a man feels about himself.. he is a goner.
If you're trying to use this "PU" to fill a huge fucking hole in your life, your head, your emotional being.. well you're fucked. Don’t ignore that stuff, attempt to use PU to fill it, and then blame PU for the frustration you
feel. "Game" and success is a reflection of your overarching well-being. The community is supposed to make you realize your blindspots, so you can fix them. Those comments in Ciaran’s blog about the “end” of PU leading to nothingness and despair; ya it won’t fulfill your life.. but it doesn’t lead you to despair either. Pure egotistical nonsense. Nothing but you can lead you to despair and personal pain. Done.
You can’t take your baggage with you. It's why we tell you, you can't hold onto your hatred of women, self-hatred, low-self esteem, argumentative nature, etc., and experience success with women. Don’t ignore that stuff in lieu of PU. You’ll still be frustrated in the end. Those are all reflective of what is going on inside you. If you have not dealt with this all, then why do you think women or society will let you in? But don’t blame yourself, instead take action. And don’t subtly blame someone else for your lack of growth, or point negative attention at the other guy. Because then you’re stuck aren’t you. You’re resisting your reality and focusing your attention on that which does not matter. You are the process. Not them. You worry about you. They’ll worry about them. Also try not to project your feelings concerning something, onto the actions of someone else. Making assumptions is dangerous. Creates blindspots.
If you are not getting the results you need, accept it, do not resist it. Do not look elsewhere. Look inside. You get back from people what you project outwards about yourself. Sure maybe a single interaction, a single “opening”, is a bit superficial.. but that’s why you’re not to be bothered by being "blown out". You can come back 5 minutes later and have a great time with the same girls or group of people.
Men deserve women because they've experienced self-doubt, experienced fear and uncertainty, pain, even anguish. And shoved through it. This is core confidence. Confidence in their ability to deal with a situation, whatever may arise, and to deal with it. This is natural game. The ability to naturally deal with situations, communicate your intent and purpose naturally, rather than having to resort to a routine, and get stuck if you do not have a predetermined stack.
How do you become a social bad ass? By developing faith and acceptance in yourself. How do you get these? By pursuing and achieving personal success in yourself/through yourself; and continuing to pursue it, not allowing stagnation or procrastination. This is core confidence.
Is learning routines bad? Hell no. You are developing the ability to deal with situations, and life in general. Routines is training yourself, is building the social experience to deal.
But say you don’t have routines down, or natural game, charisma, etc. Is that a reason to not put your personality on the line? Risk losing a false sense of identity? Because you fear it? What is fear but
inexperience? You fear what you do not know. So therefore get out there and experience life. Fall down, get back up.
This is what a man is, it is the measure of a man, and how much he deserves in life. He takes, he does not get it handed to him on a forum.
I've seen all kinds of rationalizations for the kind of depth of experience some of us guys push ourselves through: "Oh he's a chauvinist, a bully, uncaring and unfeeling. Insensitive. He's an asshole."
No dude. We just don't let shit slow us down.
The top guys on here are not here to get laid or talk about getting laid. We get laid. End of story. It is not our purpose, our end-all. If it were we probably wouldn't be getting laid. Seriously.
Tim..? Full positive angelic nimbus? A hard ass. One of the most naturally leading dudes I've ever met. I thought it only existed in the military before I met boy wonder.
right direction.
Nathan? I don't have to talk about that guy. This is what women look for. Seek.
These guys earned their success. Anything besides this is why women fundamentally have a problem with the "seduction" community. They hate the idea of a man being able to seduce a woman, without having earned that hard place to become a naturally seductive man.
Most women are already there. You might think they're batty, emotional, ditzy. You're not supposed to worry about that. Why are you looking to her for emotional stability? That comes from you.
She is supposed to be able to play in your playground. In the social context of you.
This is why RSD teaches inner game. It is why we teach you to become whole. And why we don't focus on routines. Because YOU are all YOU need. How could it be any other way? Does this seem hard to you all of a sudden? That you can’t rely on someone else to bring you success? That’s only a thought, a fleeting
assumption. The process is the destination, is the success, is the pride in yourself and the positive emotions. You are the prize to be won.
ROW Through the World with Ease
PrinceOfPersia
Am I so far gone that I prematurely tout this off-the-cuff article as my personal magnum opus? Nay, I daresay tisn’t the first time I’ve been premature in my days of spouting off improvisational hodgepodgery. I can barely use my lungs to jazz improv, so I doubt I can make a woman trumpet with my trumpet if I blow too soon. On the trumpet, that is.
But enough bizarre and hard-to-understand metaphors inexplicably expressed through second-rate Shakespearean dialect, yessirs.
Onward with the show.
I am a stickler for simplicity; perhaps my general lack of cognitive capacity, or more accurately, short attention span is to blame. But I adore boiling things down to the bones so as to teach the way of scraping two sticks together. It serves me, and incidentally, the broadest range of my kin – in this case, those of the masculine variety.
I can’t quite spit this out in a single like phrase, so I will instead consolidate an abbreviation within a zen-like phrase that wasn’t even written by me. But I can lay claim to at least half and certainly the cleverer portion: “ROW through the world with ease.”
Relax Offer value Walk your path
Before your eyes glaze over in a seizure of self-help terminological oversaturation, allow me to elaborate. I find this is all I need to succeed nowadays. And through introspection, any man.
A game of puzzle that is straightforward but interconnected – firing on all cylinders one can expect a new reality of superheroic proportions.
If you feel like you can skim this and understand the basics, then do so. But taking in the full article will give you a greater understanding of why this is the shit, virtually all you need, and will give you more faith in implementing it thoughtlessly but effectively.
RELAX. First the nut before the bolts. Get that nut right off. The similar feeling of easy breeziness post-release. It’s a simple chill of presence, soaking up the vibes of the moment and per discretion, the
environment. Acquiring this is first and foremost of paramount importance. Three ways to achieve this state consistently:
1) Bring Ecky back. Hardcore. Let it zen then zone you out. Don’t think about not thinking, just let him talk your busy brain into a place where it feels comfortable to let go. Once you find that place it will be like hitting a 45 degree hill on rollerblades with shoddy brakes.
2) Let go of everything that is not conducive to that state – anything you notice that would normally stress you out, let it go. Anything negative, let it go or laugh it off. Any insecurities, comparisons, fears… let it go. Deal with it with it comes up, and when it comes up you’ll be in this state and it won’t even be a problem, chicken.
3) “Break rapport with logic.” I came up with that, I think I’m pretty smart. Christ, that’s ironic. Anyway, since that “vibe state” you’re aiming for is pure emotion and burgeoning euphoria, you have to literally MOCK and
INCINERATINGLY NEUTRALIZE your logic.
“But I’m scared” – you jump in and dominate with “--ROW through the world with ease.” “I can’t think of anything to say” – slice it up with “--it’s all good.”
“What if this or that happens” – own yourself with “--oh yeah, I love it when that happens!”
Or fuck, that’s really being too kind. Just jump on your logical protests and overserious chode patterns with the stupidest shit you can conjure. "[Random logical bullshit]" – cut in with “--Slob my knob hoe!” The more vulgar the better, clearly. It doesn’t have to be anything special. Point is you’re pummelling it and
subconsciously labelling it irrelevant. Which it is… intellectual masturbation is ego masturbation. Real masturbation is at least 2.5 times more fun.
Relaxing, allowing that formless state to be the beautiful place you dwell at all times. Getting to know it as your home. It’s essentially egoless and therefore essentially masculine (since you are in a man’s body). You can express anything you want and let it go as it goes. It’s an unreactive but responsive state at its core, and carefree. Just remember not to create anxiety around relaxing – the same thing as thinking about not thinking. Retarded. Shed the anxiety by adhering to the unity of ROW and the methods and understandings outlined above.
Kicking it down before general restlessness and irritability sets in (talking to my keyboard sucks compared to real people).
OFFERING VALUE. Damn this is deep. Sound like a buzzword or two but it really is a deep rearranging of your psychology. It implies so many things at once to your subconscious and other people, and when taken as a rule, has massive benefits for your reality.
Note to self: turn on lights. It feels like I live in the Batcave. Condoms strewn everywhere, soggy sheets… ambiguous stench. Perhaps the lights are off for a reason, my room probably looks like a crime scene. Now check it. Here’s the idea: you offer value to literally EVERYONE you meet without caring if they reciprocate or not. It is a rule, and your uncompromised frame. Take it on immediately, trust in it unequivocally.
For you dorkus deluxorz who insist on doubting me, here is the reasoning behind it:
-You simply cannot offer value to EVERYONE in an egotistical state. Your mind will put up resistance on certain people, and tell you “it’s not worth it” or “she seems like a bitch” or “I can’t connect with that type of person.” And then you know you’re in the wrong state – you can’t be continuously relaxed in an ego state. Cause or effect works – relax fully and you can offer value to everyone, force yourself to offer value to everyone and you’ll start to relax more and more.
-Value starts with the vibe. All you have to do is cultivate the good, pure vibe of self esteem and direct your attention on everyone you meet, even if only for a moment. That way you’re developing the habit for yourself and living up to the standard, cementing a non-ego reality and thus a non-ego (relaxed) state. Giving your attention to each person you come across is sufficient for “offering value” although obviously it goes deeper than that.
-As Alex~ says there’s nothing anyone can give you that you can’t get yourself as a man. That’s true, and on many different levels. Thus to come from a truly masculine frame you have come from the offering value frame.
-Only your ego wants to take value. If you don’t engage your ego you automatically give value. The biggest implication of this is that if you truly step to people offering value YOU WILL STAY OUTSIDE YOUR HEAD. You can only go inside your head if you are trying to figure out how to take or manipulate value out of people.
-It puts you at ease with yourself knowing that it’s your only interpersonal intention and possible action. This feeds full relaxation state. It eliminates social anxiety, which can only come from self-seeking (value taking). Pure expression arises instead.
-Last but not least, the content is irrelevant. You learn that from this good intention you can say whatever you want (barring massive Jeffy-circa-‘04 miscalibration). Value can come in the form of total space, presence, attention, vibing, jokes, resources, contacts, guidance, wisdom, knowledge, seeing yourself in them, whatever. But as long as it arises from the first piece of the puzzle, relaxation, you’re set to explode into a higher level of value output (thus yielding a more prosperous reality).
Mostly if you stay outside your head and in a flow state you will automatically offer value to everyone. But check in with yourself every once and a while to make sure you don’t make an ego out of the new self you’re seeing, and continue to offer value, since each social situation and space-based companion is a freshly minted moment to master and give your all to.
As long as you maintain this attitude and standard of offering value WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING BACK and take responsibility for it, you become welcome, socially proofed and influential everywhere you go, you always have a good time, and you attract people and situations who will bring that value back to you in SPADES, in ways you can’t even begin to imagine right now. Magic guaranteed.
WALK YOUR PATH. This will probably alter slightly with self esteem as you will relinquish certain egoic drives. On the other hand things like hitting the gym, eating healthy, focusing on excellence in work and school and such should become stronger than ever with the first two components fueling them. Walking your path is essential for cultivating polarity, concentration, and directing your value to the places that you deem the most deserving.
Another huge part of walking your path is not betraying the first two parts of the puzzle. If anything detracts from your positive state or your ability to offer value freely, IT IS NOT PART OF YOUR PATH. That's how you know what to acknowledge in your reality, and what not to – while still maintaining an open, chill state. Your centeredness and purity of state and value you have to offer will become amplified the more you walk your path and do what you need to do for you.
So there you have it gents and gentiles. Relax totally at all times, breaking rapport with your logic to access your self esteem continuously. Offer value to all indiscriminately, indifferent to the returns you get. And walk your path, further fulfilling yourself as a man and in turn fulfilling the first two criteria.
Don’t neglect any part of the philosophy or it falls apart. Fail to relax, and you will be constantly scrambling to get the other two parts down. Fail to offer value, and your entire worldview and relationships will get
scrambled. Fail to walk your path, and you will be a pile of scrambled eggs, a jelly-legged polarity-devoid excuse for a man.
Unscramble and you unearth the simplicity of yourself and life. And then you can not walk, not run, but ROW your way through the world with ease.
Happy rowing my friends. It’s good to be back. PoP
Be Your Own Coach. This is how you end up fucking girls in less
than 4 months
ReallityFactory
I can assure you 100% that you will be pulling in less than 4 month, not one year, not two years, not four years; but like in any other program, you will need to stick to it. So here it is:
-Go out with nothing planned, 7 days a week for 15 weeks in a row. You can take one day off a week if you feel you need it, but I can tell you that this gets addicted and you will keep wanting going out.
-Socialize with everybody in the venue, meaning, don't stop socializing, no time to chode at the bar line, at the bathroom or pinging around. Talk to the first person you see.
-Assume everyone is your friend and they all like you. I'm sure you have a group of friends where you can just chill and nothing holds you back from being yourself, so apply the same approach to the pub.
-Plow with everybody, stay with the tension, learn to take social pressure, don't poof for no reason. Give them a chance, remember they may just be nervous.
-Don't think ahead anything to say, remember trying to impress will only show neediness, thinking ahead is trying to impress, you don't need to make any sentence longer, you are there to be out of the house and interact with people as any other socially healthy human being.
-Lower the standards of what you have to say, what you have to say is worth it becomes it comes from you, so anything, even if you are talking about dog shit, assume is interesting enough because it is coming from you.
-Whatever happens to you, assume is the coolest thing going on, the coolest thing going on is not in two hours, was not two hours ago, the coolest thing is happening right now in front of your eyes, not to the group over there, not to the guy over there, it is happening to you.
-Always know what you want. Never think about what you don't want. Only think about what you want, and take right action on it. Whether is calling up on people's behavior, hugging a girl, kissing, etc. Only do what you core dictates, people will appreciate you for being authentic.
-Do not compare, do not judge, do not interpret, do not label anything that the girl wear, do, or say. Do not focus on her mind, she is not her mind, so there is absolutely no reason to focus on her mind. Focus on her heart, her heart and soul is where is at, literally.
-Do not judge yourself, do not compare yourself, do not label yourself, feel good with yourself, your sense of value is not dictated by what you are seeing, or listening or anything that is coming through your senses. You are the only one that decides how you want to feel, you are your own authority.
-Don't forget that kino and escalation comes from this one question: What do I want right now? It does not come from this question: What should I do right now? That what should do question should never enter your thoughts.
-Remember you are the man, You take accountability for everything that happens. You never put any responsibility on her. It's all on you. You make the decisions, you don't wait for her to make a decision, she expects you to make the decisions for her.
The key is to have fun with it. It is suppose to be for your own fun. Do not to try to learn everything at the same time, that's like eating all 6 meals at once. Remember that it is just like going to the gym, you have to
stick to it. Keep a journal and don't forget to always be closing. Expect consistency and easiness in your game. Don't get caught up on the techniques, you can use anything you want, the idea of techniques is to have diversity so you don't come up so restricted, more than techniques to use, you should look at it as games to play, as something to have fun with. Here are some examples of things you can use to self amuse in the field during each day:
-Misinterpretations/Sexual Innuendo -Cold Reading
-Storytelling -Take Aways
-Plotlines/Roleplaying
-Future Adventure Projections -Push/Pull
-Teaching Something Of Interest
-Elastic band snapback effect (used with playful breaking rapport tonality) -Extreme multiple threading
-Compliance ladders
-Playful teasing and negging aka flirting -Nicknames and pimp talk
-Disqualification
-Silly games (Fuck-Marry-Kil, second grade games, etc.) -The anomaly effect
-Conspiracies
-Qualifying and Challenging (Are you fun?) -Shock And Awe
Do the same approach for practicing kino. Here are some things you can use to get some touch going: -Kissing
-Holding hands -Moving her around -Playful dancing -Physical games -Handshake -Massaging -Pinging -Playful rubbing -Scratching
-Grab her hair from the back of her neck -Playful pushing
-Teaching something physical -Poking, tapping -Playful pulling -Cuddling -Spanking -Biting -Hugging -Clawing -Keylock
-Ask her to touch you (feel this muscle)
Imagine you approach an average of 12 girls per night. In 3 weeks you will have 252 girls of experience and in a little over 3 months you will have 1,260 girls of experience. How much experience do you have now?
The Secrets to Pulling, A Complete Breakdown
Julien
I’ve been really focusing on my public speaking lately. Usually talking for the first 30 minutes at the Real Social Dynamics Free Tours with Tyler and working on developing some of my newer material and concepts as well as a longer segment I have about “pulling” that I want to share with you here in writing.
I’ll probably post this up in a three or four part article trying to maybe include some short video segments as well to really break this topic down and explain the details of it.
I like to view Pulling as the new Opening.
What I mean by this is, take the example of when you’re new to all of this or first getting started out, or even a few years back in this community where some of the concepts we had were not as polished and developed as they are now. Everything seemed to be about opening, how to open or what exactly to say when
approaching women.
And your Reticular Activation System would be entirely dedicated to this area and focused on that first part of the interaction:
“How do I open?”
“What is your best opener?”
“What do you say when you approach women?”
A few of the most asked questions and probably the most important ones in your mind at that time being that those were the ones you were really aiming to achieve.
But I find that as soon as you start to get more interactions going and really reaching that intermediate level of success, your attention starts to shift as to how to get actual results with women.
“How do I pull her?"
“How do I make something out of the interaction?” Or more commonly,
“All of my interactions seem to be going so well but they’re not going anywhere.”
And I think this was one of my biggest sticking points while I was developing myself in this area. How to actually have sex with the women that I was meeting.
I would remember going out night after night working on my social skills and getting better and better at them to the point where everything that came out of my mouth that I would say would have the perfect impact, tonality and timing behind it that I wanted.
There was literally nothing more I could think of doing better in my mind then what I was saying or doing at the time. It was also frustrating thinking how much more or how better does this have to be to start actually making something out of the interactions I was having?
As a side note, I would still get a lot of results off Day 2’s or the occasional situations where the girl would just tell me to take her home. But there wasn’t any of the consistency I wanted to it.
I wanted to get to a point where I would pretty much be able to go out any night to any new place and meet someone with whom I would actually be able to make something happen. I would also hear or read about all of these stories where this happens and always thinking to myself what the next missing step I needed was. At the same time another sticking point I had was that I was also viewing progress as a straight rigid line where I would learn one thing after another. I wanted to stack each part of the process one at a time until every piece would be there and I would reach the end results that I wanted.
It was thinking in ways of first learning how to open and start up a conversation, then keeping the
conversation going and how to ask for her number, etc etc. And that once all the steps of the way aligned, I would have the right structure established for it.
But it’s more in terms of developing yourself as a whole instead of a linear progression. There’s no straight path to this.
It’s oscillating between working on different areas of yourself and of your personality at the same time. Continually making each part of them more dense and stronger as a whole.
Going out more smooth for a while and then with more self amusement, for example. But there is no “one thing after the next” type of self actualization in this case.
But the main reason I wasn’t getting to the level I wanted to be at or seeing the progress I wanted to see was that I had lost focus on what I wanted. I wasn’t moving in a direction involving any actual results because I wasn’t trying to get them at the time. It wasn’t where my focus was at.
Ask yourself, WHAT DO YOU WANT WHEN TALKING TO A WOMAN? Why did you approach her and why are you still there with her in front of you?
Is it to develop your social skills? Is it to gain new reference experiences or to reinforce certain concepts you’re working on in your mind? Is it to get her to feel real attraction for you? Is it to try to impress your peer group or the people around you by not looking bad in front of them or being rejected?
What exactly do you want?
And the answer to this should always be HER. You’re there talking to her because you want her.
You’re a man and she’s a woman and just by that fact you’re both naturally and biologically attracted to each other. She is to you as you are to her.
There shouldn’t be any other reason than that.
You always tend to gravitate towards what you want or what you’re aiming for, be it consciously or unconsciously.
I like to view it as similar to learning how to drive a vehicle for the first time. When you first take the wheel you’re instructed to always look straight ahead and not at the oncoming traffic. If you look away you’ll start moving in that direction and be more likely to cause an accident.
look bad in front of the people around me, then those will turn out to be the areas I’ll usually gravitate towards and achieve in terms of progress.
So if I’m not entirely focused on getting what I want which is her I can’t complain that I’m not getting any results with women.
I would be focused on other specific areas of the interaction and those would be what I ended up with.
So when it comes down to pulling you always have to remind yourself why you’re there and why you’re talking to her.
Finding that core reason behind the interaction through which everything you say or do should come from. You’re a man and she’s a woman and just by that fact you’re attracted to her and you want her.
It’s as simple as that, as long as you don’t lose focus.
One of the things that I’ve always found fascinating when it comes down to social dynamics and the self actualization aspect of it is that there are always going to be different paradoxes attached to each and every area of development.
And I think that realizing this and understanding it has probably been one of the most important factors that has cut my learning curve drastically in the past.
BEING ABLE TO SIMOULTENEOUSLY ACCEPT OPPOSING IDEAS IN YOUR MIND.
Realizing that there is never going to be one right way of doing things or any all-encompassing view of each aspect of game that will be able to suit you or anyone else, when you’re dealing with social interactions and human beings in general.
This is also one of the hardest things to let go of when first getting into this, especially if you have the linear view of progression that I talked about in Part 1 of this article: viewing learning different things as a step by step process and building that straightforward structure to get the results that you had originally set out for. There is no linear learning curve as there is never going to be any one way of doing or learning them. It’s all paradoxical.
There are always going to be different theories and opposing ideas related to every single part of social interactions that you’ll have to learn to simultaneously accept and believe in.
It’s the only way to really get good at this and reach that consistency in results that only some people are able to attain.
You have to work on yourself to be open minded and adaptable to reconcile them. You need to be like water (Cf. Tyler in The Blueprint Decoded)
Some of examples that I like to use to illustrate this phenomenon would be: Having Intent, but at the same time having Freedom From Outcome.
Screening For Logistics vs. Persisting For Logistics.
evolve your identity and be willing to adapt to different social situations. And the list goes on…
This applies to literally every single aspect of game in my opinion.
At any given time, I probably have around ten different opposing ideas that I simultaneously believe in and apply related to every single concept and theory that I’ve learned.
So many people limit themselves by not accepting different paradoxes in their minds. It’s much easier and less overwhelming to see and stay on one straight single path instead of seeing the infinite multitude of different options. It becomes similar to staying in and prolonging their comfort zone.
And this is something important to understand and to keep in mind when learning things about anything in life in general as well.
=========
Now when it comes to pulling, this really applies to having the right mindset behind it.
When you ask any guy who’s been really successful with women they’ll usually fall into one of the two following categories:
Being in an ACTIVE Mating Strategy vs. Being in a PASSIVE Mating Strategy.
When you’re in a Proactive Mating Strategy you’ll always be entirely focused on pulling and getting the girl. No matter what it is or what it takes, you will always do anything for the pull. Your mind’s only focus is on getting her and it will do anything in it’s power to achieve that.
If you fall into this category one of the things you’ll notice is that when you go out you’re usually not always there to have fun. You’ll realize that when you’re in the process of meeting women, you’re only there on a mission.
You’re not going to waste your time hanging out and talking to your friends, for example. There is no personal vibing or slowly building it as the night goes on.
You’re only there to get what you want which, as covered in the first part of this article is her. And that’s the only thing your RAS (Reticular Activation System) is going to be focusing on.
You’ll be there pursuing a consistent game plan that delivers the consistent results and outcome that you were set out for.
You’re mind is only looking for interactions that will be going somewhere, and it will discard and block out anything else. It’s a ”this is going to go somewhere” type of mentality.
Some of other traits related to being in an Active Mating Strategy, where a lot of value is placed on sex, would be keeping a list of the women that you’ve been with. I remember doing this when I first started out in all of this: viewing each pull as a new conquest or a new accomplishment. Another one for the scoreboard… and use that as a motivation to take action.
The same applies to if a girl calls you at 3 a.m. and although you’re tired and working early the next day, you’re still going to get up and drive over there to see her. Your mind is actively operating towards the pull.
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In a Passive Mating Strategy, one of best ways I like to describe it is using the example of David Duchovny’s character in the TV Show Californication:
The idea the sex is just something that naturally happens all the time.
When you look at the character that he plays in the show, Hank Moody, does it look like he places a lot of value on sex?
Does he view it as something to be conquered or something that he must absolutely achieve to feel complete? Is it really that important or complicated to him?
Sex is easy.
He just knows that it’s going to happen because of who he is and the fact that he’s on his own path and in his own reality. It’s not something that he has to proactively engineer to make it happen.
Pulling just becomes part of who he is and what he naturally does, all the time.
It’s not something that he makes a big deal out of. He doesn’t let it define who he is or overblow it’s importance in his mind. There is no mental complexification of it.
Pulling ends up becoming something that is easy and second nature. It’s like a flow, he just goes with it while having fun and the interaction just naturally results in sex.
He also understands the fact that girls like sex just as much as men, if not more. And he has an abundance mentality towards it.
=========
HAVING THE PARADOXICAL MENTALITY.
How I want to conclude this part of the article would be aiming to have a mentality behind pulling that would include both of the extremes that I just described here. Believing in the best of both worlds, even though most of their aspects are contradicting.
You want to be focused on pulling as it fills the criteria “What Exactly Do You Want?” but at the same time, you also want to be independent of the outcome and internally centered on yourself.
You want to be having fun and naturally influencing the women you meet and creating attraction, but you also want to be aware of the logistical side of and proactively deal with it.
You w ant to be in an ACTIVE MATING STRATEGY as you also w ant to be in a PASSIVE MATING STRATEGY.
Communicating Values- Emotional State and Sexual Projection
Manwhore Controlling your Emotional State:
Most people base their emotional state, their idea of success, and even their own self-esteem on where they think society would place them. Whether it be because we see the media pick apart celebrities and politicians or because magazines and the like tell us what to wear, look like, and even act like- this idea is ingrained in us- it is fundamental- it is our lens on reality.
But the problem is not that some magazine has a cool and interesting idea on how they think a male should act and look- but that people now doubt their own originality and way of doing things. Basic things like uttering a thought outloud, people's opinions on their own personal talents and skills- i.e. an artist thinking he's shit 'cuz he can't play sports, even being in tune and acting on your desires- it's all done through a filter. Fuck the filter. Are you where you want to be, are you taking action in your life? Are you working to improve yourself..? Take your own word for how you think you should feel. Everyone else will take your word for it. People will only judge you for how you judge yourself. Now realize that some of you will have to work a little harder at this because you are dealing with people who think they know who you are and don't want you to change.
A friend of mine snuck her 16 year old sister into a bar- they'd had dinner there earlier and then never left. Someone who knew her got jealous of the attention she was getting from the guys and told management. So security came for her sister and took her to another part of the bar to question her. My friend found me with a scared bewildered look on her face- her emotional/mental state was hopeless- she was in no condition to do anything to help her sister. She had been completely overwhelmed by the situation. She asked if I could do anything. I went and found her sister being questioned by security- she was in even worse condition- they were questioning her about how she got into the bar and she couldn't even form words to talk. She was just looking up imploringly at the bouncer with a helpless and scared look on her face. The problem at this point is that the bouncer could tell the girl was under his spell, it was power and he really didn't want to give it up. He'd projected a frame of her being guilty and she'd fallen right into it, he was master at this point. I walked up, announced calmly to the guy that she had been having dinner with her sister earlier and that now she was now going to simply leave. It took him a bit to even want to acknowledge me, I repeated myself firmly and said she just needed to leave now. She got some of her bearing back and nodded her head in
acknowledgement. He stood there for a couple seconds more and then simply said, "ok go." "Hey.. do you believe in magic spells? ;)" I do
This is typical. Every day people react to situations in the manner in which they think they should be reacting or are used to reacting. It's like they live in a program: the social Matrix. 'Ok I got caught.. cue negative feelings of guilt, insecurity and bullshit.' Or 'She doesn't like me, there must be something wrong with me. I'm not good enough to get women like that.' Do NOT let someone or something- a situation- project a negative frame onto you. Own your emotional reaction. It is yours to control! Realize that you can choose to let
something bother you and ruin your day- or not. Your emotions and feelings aren't meant to just come and go based on external factors.. I think some people think they are. Discipline your mind. Otherwise someone will perceive they have authority over you and own you, a woman will see these cues and not give you the time of day. A woman will look to your cues to see how to react to you and how to perceive you- are you high value? Does her little attitude bother you? If it does then you're not what she wants.. this is the female screening process.
Real Communication: Male/Female Dynamics
Some of you guys seem hardwired to be combative with girls... like you need for them to validate your dominant frame or at least recognize it. You don't..
In the past I would be guilty of this also, I look back now and realize that if I'd just not allowed myself to become involved in these situations (mentally or emotionally), there wouldn't have been an issue, and these females would responded to me much better. Women were never meant to be the judge of a guy's value.. they are hardwired to pick at it! If a guy allows a girl any room to be a judge of his value- he is automatically lower value. I think this might actually apply across the board of human interaction.
Girls are.. girls. They aren't meant -or even enough- to bring out my dominant side. But my vibe
communicates that I seriously handle my shit. They know it.. but they won't have to experience it themselves. This is actually what they want. We are men.. we fight lions, the earthly elements, provide strong emotional context for what matters and what doesn't (when girlies wrap themselves emotionally around dumb shit), and.. WE DO NOT GET IN CONTESTS WITH WOMEN.
A quick note on comfort building: Introduce your values- don't just go for a stronger emotional connection. You should be using this time to make her realize you are nonjudgmental about her being a sexual creature and acting on her desires. I've heard some guys post that the girl "figures out" what you're doing and maybe even calls you on it. But this shouldn't be a problem. Project. Project feeling and sincerity. Body language, eye contact and voice. I make girls comfortable talking about and expressing their sexuality. I communicate that this is just the kind of dude I am- it's my reality. Your identity needs to be that of a guy who gives and receives attention from females. Freeflow. You just.. respond to things different than other guys. You can be the guy who banged a girl in a closet, and there's a guy right next to you who's getting sexual harrassment charges for being creepy, because.. his behavior is just not acceptable in the workplace. He didn't give himself permission to be this way, acted incongruent- therefore he didn't deserve to be acting like that. Girls picked up on this. I just read Tyler's article on the "Secret Society". That's what I'm talking about here..
Controlling your frame before projecting sexuality:
A lot of guys probably think I'm some rabid sexual monster- that I just lay on the sexual vibe without regard to the mental state of the woman I am talking to- that my skill lies in so getting a woman to accept the strong game I "throw" at her. This is really not the case- it is actually very well calibrated to the state she's in.. the difference is that I can actually put her there- I can get her ready for what I really want. When I recognize her signs (basically how strong she's reacting to my cues) I act on them, I grab her and pull her in, I give her sexual eye contact, I tell her upfront what I'm going to do to her, I lift up her skirt or gaze at her body plainly. Maybe she's not ready for something so potent, so I'll calibrate to the level she's at, rinse wash repeat. The most important thing I can do, is touch her. More on this later.
Some girls I can be quite upfront with, others I know I have to approach the topic in a roundabout way- either they're just not in touch with it because of ASD or they're just not sexual people. I do this with some skill- usually through misinterpretation, jokes, telling her a story that starts off sounding so innocent but with a sexual side, or just through plain kino. One girl who I could tell was quite reserved and out of touch with her sexuality I told a story about a physical I got from a doctor who wanted to turn off the lights so he could "get a better look". So when I was done we started talking about her experiences with gynecologists- she said it was uncomfortable being laid out naked on a table and having them use steel instruments on her. I was laughing, It was a perfect opportunity- I realized her frame on it was negative, so what I did was project a fun positive vibe about her lying there like that, and then told her if it had been me I would have put my
instruments in the freezer before she came in. She laughed. So I turned an uncomfortable topic for her into a fun one and then put myself in it in a sexual way. This wasn't a natural flow of the conversation either- it was a buildup of sexualness and I was listening to her cues to make sure she was in my frame. It's more than realizing she's actually listening to me and building off the thread I start, it's listening for her tonal
responsiveness to my reality. When she's accepted my take on things then I know I can proceed.
I control, or take over the frame with vocal and tonal projection. Bottom line. Eye contact is already there, so is relaxed confident body language. You need to have these down already. Be relaxed with yourself and your surroundings. There is no reason not to be relaxed around people and be able to look people in the eye and stand there relaxed.. people want you to be this way. They're more comfortable this way. But don't concern
yourself with acting overly "cool" or Alpha. Just. Be. Relaxed. "The Self is always showing through.."
Going back to vocal projection- a lot of people say don't care about other people's reaction to you, yet when you're socializing and projecting this seems almost counterintuitive.. aren't you trying to get a reaction? Aren't we "running game"? We are actively looking for compliance cues from females and even males- so how can we not care? I understand the point of this whole "don't care what people think" but for new guys who don't understand the underlying concept it possibly confuses them. Maybe a more helpful framing of this concept would be to say that when you speak, sound like you expect a good reaction- that you want people to hear what you have to say, more than just trying to get people's attention- your mannerism demands it. So you project it for all to hear with a carefree attitude. Realize that this is what a socially well-calibrated person actually sounds like. There's a solid Mmmphf to your voice.. it doesn't waiver or falter, and it does not fade off. If you find yourself saying something that you don't think is going to be acceptable, you either cut yourself off with a "-wait fuck that that's not what I meant" or just say it and act normal. Do not ever let your sentence trail away into obscurity or your voice fall into a mumble. That is death.
I am a military officer- I have to sound like I'm in charge. Whether I'm telling dudes to mop the floors or we're rolling up on an "enemy" position and my platoon needs my directives, My voice can say so much about my internal state- I need it to say I'm the one they should be listening to.
But I modulate my voice to the environment I'm in. I'm not going to be barking all the time- even with my soldiers. When I was in sales and I was speaking to a housewife I made my voice sound "nicer" and sweeter, when I had a male customer my voice hardened slightly. Calibration. When a guy pulled a gun in my face I spoke evenly and calmly, I did not let the situation escalate by sounding scared, or sounding aggressive, I think my buddy pooed his pants though and that ruined it- the dude smelled his fear.
My tonality is flexible- I want it to be able to communicate different things when I want. My projection remains even- I have something to communicate and you and you and you, are going to listen. You can hold attention with your voice- 'When I speak.. people listen.' Even if you're not in the mood to be social and be the party guy it doesn't mean you have to sound like you're a lesser value guy. Answer people with gusto- be
comfortable holding attention when it is required or asked of you, even if for a little bit.
When I speak with females my voice is softer and has a greater tonality range. Sometimes I even coo. I don't "bark" at females, they don't want to be barked at, they just want to know that you have the capacity to bark. They might try to instigate you, at this point you want to be unreactive, but if they overstep your boundaries then you quickly let them know. And then subside.. we fight lions and tigers.. a male getting into a power contest with a female shows a fundamental weakness on his part. A man does not fret over what a woman thinks of him.
More on the military.. Many senior NCOs- E6s and above- are used to being able to project over an inexperienced or unsure Lieutenant, even though the LT outranks them- it's taking advantage, and I can't blame them. I walked into a situation the other day where a senior NCO was putting another Lieutenant on the spot over something silly- it wasn't even an accusation, just a way of projecting and phrasing something that made the Lieutenant feel like he was obligated to answer the NCO the way he wanted. Then he tried it on me, not quite the same reaction.. I just stood there looking at him and said "WHAT?" Simple projection of my voice- no accusation, just subcommunicating to him that I knew my role and I was sure of myself. The frame changed. By looking at him evenly and comfortably- and speaking the same way, his manner of
communicating changed, This wasn't about me "being in charge." I don't need stupid validation like that, this was a man to man "don't pull that crap on me" vibe. Simple mutual respect.
Physicalness is the last key:
I was with my wing SDC (Austin) a couple of weeks ago in San Diego's PB Bar & Grill. I saw two very attractive blonds sitting down at the bar having a drink. I opened them with "HEEY are you speaking Spanish..?" With a quizzical look on my face, I was slightly leaned in, demanding an answer but my overall
vibe was one of fun. She laughed and said something. I laughed and said something. Blah blah. Then they continued on their conversation- I heard one of them say to the other about some guy being "so anal about this shit!" I leaned in again.. "By the way.. (pause and quickly look at the other girl before continuing on) I'm anal about my shit too ;)" They both laughed- the set was now open. I slowly escalated sexual topic until we were talking about blowjobs and facials and the like. One of the girls was a pregnant housewife- gorgeous girl, and she asked me why some guys liked pregnant women. I made up a reason on the spot about how us guys put a pillow under a girl's tummy to lift up her bottom and give us better access to it- whether we're tonguing her down or entering her from behind- and that her being pregnant did this for us already. I got them talking very freely about their sexuality, the things they wanted to try and stuff. I told the single girl I was going to find us a mexican girl to take home with us, she laughed and gave a little resistance. Anyways long story short I got her number and myspace and then told them we were going to take off, I leaned in and pulled her into me to give her a hug and kiss, shook the other girl's hand and we walked away. SDC said to me, "All that 'game', all that sexual stuff you were talking about with them, didn't mean anything until you gave her a hug." FUCK! He was so right. It really didn't mean anything, didn't have any kind of real connection. The real anchor is always in physical touch.
The Claw: If you guys aren't comfortable touching a girl and being relaxed and confident about it, you're fucked. You just aren't gonna get laid. I've talked to a couple of you who have actually told me, "Well I just don't like to be touched.. it makes me uncomfortable." Women are sensual creatures, they can tell a lot about a person through how they're touched by them. Is this person comfortable in his own skin enough to be that close with someone else? Do they see themselves as high value enough and their reality strong enough that they can just assume someone else would want to be part of it? Is this person a sexually experienced person? This is why the claw is so powerful- it's attraction/comfort/dominance/seduction/fool's mate all in one. Remember you don't just put your arm around her shoulder like a wet dishrag, you grab her, hold her and pull her in to you. The claw is dynamic- the grip is dynamic- it's not a feeling she can dismiss like background noise- she feels it's presence at all times.
When I meet a girl for a first date I immediately get physical with her. I'll casually walk up on the side of her and claw her in, I'll give her a squeeze and then let her go- walking at my own pace and letting her fall in-step with me. If she says something cute or we make random eye contact I'll pull her in to a light headlock, maybe give her a noogie and then push her away from me. When I'm out publicly with her I project vocally to
whoever I'm interacting with- whether it be a movie ticket salesman or a waiter. She wants to see this. When we sit down together I take up a lot of space, I subtly take over her area also. This is why I like taking girls to see a movie- my physical presence is just so palpable with her sitting next to me. At this point I will reach my arm that's on her side across her body to her opposite thigh and hold her there, slightly pulling her in. It's another version of the claw. I'll pull her in and slightly behind me so my shoulder is in front of hers and I'm slightly leaning back against her. Picture this. She feels very protected and in your space whether she realizes it or not. It's a very dominant way to sit with a girl.
I think there's pros and cons to taking a girl to any type of movie- I take her to a movie that I want to see. I like horror movies and action flicks- but If scary movies make you nervous let me know, I'll give your girl a call and explain things to her. ;)
I don't always employ the claw when I am first meeting girls- I'd say when I'm in the club, at a bar, walking the streets or approaching girls randomly I use it immediately about 60-65% of the time. But I can tell when she's not immediately open, in which case I'll open with something else to prep her for my physicalness. I'm very sensitive to her state- usually if she's willing to stand there and talk to you even for a second and respond to you she wants to be clawed, if she wants to be clawed she's open to be kissed.
Yes I use the claw during the day.
A lot of you guys don't know or refuse to take on the role you are meant to have in male/female interactions. You want the comfort and security of knowing that she's going to respond well to your advances. You want us
to tell you the exact scientific steps to opening her up and compelling her to make the moves. Stop being a vagina. You are not a vagina. You are all males.. know your role. Males are aggressive and bold about their actions and desires. Females are biologically hardwired to respond to this. Sure you might have a girl not respond well to your initial advance. Boohoo. We do not apologize for our desires as males. Some women might try and see if we will apologize- they might put on a good show for us.. but this isn't what they want. This is the difference between coming off as a creepy horndog, and a masculine, Alpha male with a naturally strong sexual drive. These guys have permission to be this way.. they take it. The others don't.
Do not think you'll be able to hide your own desires, not having to act on them until she makes the first move. Take responsibility for the fact that you will lead the interaction with the girl. This isn't about your comfort. It's about hers..
Also realize that you don't have to be concerned with every single little body nuance or flash of eye contact. I am not 100% ultra-masculine all of the time. It doesn't matter.. she knows what I am from my overall
communication. After a certain point her perception of you will be so set that when she does notice something not quite rock-hard in mannerism, she'll appreciate it even more. She'll feel she's earned a peek at your softer more vulnerable side. She wants to see this- she wants to know you have this side of you- this is established comfort with her.
Violence and Amogs:
The military has a lot to offer on this concept. So much is fundamentally built into teaching us the way to communicate. I deal sometimes with soldiers who have fucked up enough to be decreed unfit for military duty. Disrespectful, noncompliant, whatever.. they're out- and they know it. Yet when I am present there is no room for any of this bullshit. My mannerisms and way of acting only allows for them to treat me with respect. I don't look to them to see if I'm doing the right thing, or if I'm being a "cool" Lieutenant, or if they're listening to what I'm saying. I walked into a situation where four of these soldiers were standing face to face, red and screaming, about to throw blows. I walked right into the middle of it- absolutely no room or time for
hesitation. "What the FUCK is going on here.. All of you- go downstairs." That was it. There was no room for them to project an aggressive attitude on me- I wanted to know what they were doing. I was the one projecting- not them.
I had an ex-girlfriend a few years ago who went into the boys bathroom with her friend because the girl's line was so long. A bouncer put his hands on them and basically forced them out. They immediately got into a confrontation with the guy- yelling, screaming, calling him names. He got aggressive- standing there with fists clenched, calling them names back and acting threatening- a hulking black guy getting in a confrontation with two little 5'5" females. All of it absolutely worthless and wasted effort. He attempted to talk to me- but I wanted nothing to do with him. I was not going to directly address him and let him think we were on the same level. I called for his manager. The manager came, immediately trying to use his bulk to cower me. It didn't even enter into my reality. I explained to him what happened and told him he had a physically aggressive bouncer putting his hands on females. He said, "But they were in the boys bathroom." I looked at him calmly and said, "That's not the point." He said.. "you're right." and sent the guy walking immediately. Stupidly the bouncer and the two girls were still fighting with each other as he walked off down the street.
Opening: Projecting State
Manwhore
I come in with an energy and a look like the cat that swallowed the rat.
I come in, completely drawing all attention to myself, just a natural, relaxed way of saying ":D LOOK AT ME :D". Holding "in my reality" mannerisms, I look like I'm just used to having all the attention- that everything I do is going to be fun, and that I'm about to throw open a can of whup-ass. I smile using my whole face- a relaxed energy to my stance, and I'm not really directing my attention to them that much- I can even be looking right at them and not "value-taking" in any way- meaning, needing any kind of response from them- this includes even their eye contact.
This is subtle guys.. you guys can very subtly signal to the girls that you're reaction-seeking, simply by "looking" for their eye contact. So don't do it.
My body language is projected to the world, it's very exaggerated relaxed.. it communicates that I'm open to anything that happens from any different direction. It's not solely directed at them- it's basically saying that yes, they have value to me- but I'm so gigantic that my bl takes everybody around into account.
But I don't have to say anything. At least initially. I can just stand there for a bit, letting them soak me in.. it builds tension and like I said shows that I'm used to attention. This is just an enjoyable guy to have around. Then I will make some kind of funny social commentary, or come in with something funny- spoken with fun intensity- projecting the good response- pretty much the same way I described above. It won't be expecting something in return from them at first- it wont require an answer, and again I won't even require eye contact from them. I'll just say it and not care about their responses.
With this you can walk in and say things like.. "I like BOOBIES!" and get a huge fun reaction from the ladies. It is such a strong, individual-like, opening.. that all social pretense is shed. There are no preconceived ideas about what you just said. It is obvious, that not only have you given yourself permission to act and say as you like.. but that you ARE that guy.
I think this is a great way of opening on the dance floor also. I come in completely nonreaction-seeking and open with a funny dance move and they are instantly attracted to me and my body movements.
I reopen exactly the same way. Remember, as Tyler says, "Assume nothing!" Just because you had a great interaction or response from them earlier, in no way means they owe you another good response just for "you being you". So don't stand there expecting them to search out the "real you" all of a sudden. They don't want to, don't need to, don't care to. Always be giving value.
Red Leader's 1000th posting
Red Leader So, 1000 posts is a fair bit.
I signed up on here a few days after it was opened thinking, "ooo, good time to ask the guys some good questions while not many members are on the board." and I couldn't think of any at all.
But regardless, the content this forum and its users are spitting out is just great. There is nothing really like this anywhere on the net. Anyway, I'm not into reminiscing about the past.
Back to the present.
What this post will consist of is a basic run down of concepts and
ways I go about everything to do with being myself, opening my self and being present with everyone I meet.
Time
past present future
Anything that doesn't 'work' in pick up or socialising, is related to time. Time is part of the ego.
Detaching yourself from time is presence.
The ego wants things that are not in the moment.
Living in the past or future can leave us feeling unfulfilled or in a state of fear. Wouldn't this make you late for things like work and appointments?
No, it will actually make you more conscious of practical factors associated with time. Thinking or fantasizing about what will happen in the future takes you out of the moment.
You become an image in your head of something you want to be, something that is in the future and you shut yourself out to the moment.
You can be in set HOPING to not screw things up as she seems like girlfriend material... then boom, you're either too careful and she's bored, or you're trying to hard to be funny and she gets turned off.
Thinking in the past can create havoc such as things like, "she'd never want someone who has never had sex." etc... etc...
These are all time based objections that hold one back.
This is also the reason as to why natural guys who sleep around secret society style will never reveal anything... they're addicted to the present and feel unnatural delving into the past or future...
Fear of Death
Ultimately, the cause of any type of fear is fear of death. The ego fears death.
It wants to survive.
Even getting rejected stems from being societies outcast and eventually dying somehow from societies disapproval.
Egoless state knows nothing of death. It does not exist.
For ALL we EVER have is the present. The only thing we actually HAVE in our lives ... is the moment at hand.
Our consciuos state, that can only live in the now, is not aware of death. It is timeless.
Once we are present and not using the mind to try and gain something from the past or future, our MINDS become more sharp.
They become sharp because you dis-identify with them. You no longer ARE them, they are not yours.
We do not own our minds or our bodies.
They are mearly pieces of particles made up of energy combined together to create a gateway for our souls/spirits to enter the world.
And since the only 'thing' we do HAVE is the present, we have more control over our minds becoming sharper and our bodies more calibrated to our surroundings
eg. people, hazards, sexual signals... remembering names... and lots more. An interesting way to look at it is that we are not even alive...
IT is to BECOME alive that we all strive for...
Be Dumb Be Pulled
Some people need a gateway to enter the now. An analogy to enter the present is to act dumb.
It turns off the logical self-talking side of the brain and you start to slow down. You eventually feel a sense of calm and relaxation.
You open up to everything you like... things COME to you.
You go for things without questioning yourself. Your mind slows down enough for you to catch up. The speed of your speech matches the pace of the mind.
Being dumb stops you from questioning yourself... whether or not you should do that... And because you don't question yourself, you forget to feel anxiety.
A lot of people will say, 'think before you act.'
This is going a level above, 'be conscious before you act.' Now this may confuse some people how,
being dumb is the same as being conscious.
The thing is, thinking internally closes off the outside world
You can have your eyes open, your ears working, you may even be flapping your trap. But you can be completely unconscious to your environment and the present moment when you're stuck inside your head with loops of thought about the past and future.
Being dumb and slow, matches the pace of the interaction. You start to feel like you're talking to people underwater. Every move you make is enjoyable.
You start to push pull naturally because moving back and forwards is so much fun. You care less about everything and the conversation almost always turns sexual.
Settle yourself
A lot of people find that BEFORE they get into this state,
BEFORE they're 'ready' to enter the now, they need to settle themselves somehow. You might be already pretty chill, but you just don't FEEL like talking to anyone.
You can be up in the club having a good time, but just don't FEEL like talking to people. That's cool.
All you need to do is settle yourself.
Accept that that's the way you feel right now.
All you have to do is sit back relax and DRINK up the energy surrounding you.
Eventually you won't be able to contain yourself and you will summon the energy out of nothing, spilling yourself over with self-entertainment.
Labels and being the judge
You must judge the world before you can react to it
So to be nonreactive to the things you want to remain nonreactive to.... be nonjudgmental towards them....
What is the reason to judge and label something?
Perhaps to remember that this or that person is rich/famous/hot/knows people...
What if we were all to assume everyone was EXTREMELY rich in value to the same amount. What if we took that and realised that no one is aware of their own potential.
Would this not cause us to see through it all and rise them up in the world. Pull them out of the depths of their mind and give them a moment self esteem. This is giving value deluxe.
Be Social
Subject: The Gamer
Goes out to bars and clubs nearly everynight running 'game' on people trying to pick up girls.
Generally has his eyes set on attractive women only and doesn't
care to find connections with anyone else. Fantasizes about getting with the hot turbos.
Subject: The social guy
Goes out to bars and clubs when things are on and has fun making friends, is open to sex, that will most likely happen but is indifferent...
Makes friends with everyone regardless, is nonjudgmental with women and doesn't let peoples looks affect him
Get in her personal space Pretty much 'ODD' on Tim's blog.
Basically just going up and talking centimetres from her face. I've opened like this.
Weird huh?
Completely negates the 'leaning back' rule.
The thing is I'm very open if I do this... I'm 100% front on, direct, not hiding anything This creates MASSIVE sexual tension.
Though this is not a technique. IT's just having fun with her.
In this space you laser eye the fuck out of her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQb4ieoWp9w - kind of like this, but you can be WAY more forward and earlier on if you want...
Intrigue
What I've found lately, is that by tilting my head on it's side and staring at the girl with a smirk on my face, it makes her more intriguing to ME.
She will notice this big time.
This is a big one and girls will come talk to me from ages away to see why I'm so intrigued wiht her...
I'll do it VERY over the top as well.... sometimes scracthing my chin or raising an eyebrow.
ME feel more warranted when I approach.
It also makes me feel more comfortable in general.
It's like when you make a weird noise around a new born puppy it will tilt it's head like, "what did you just say?"
Except sometimes with me, I have a dirty sexual look on my face like I want to ravish her ... but it's considered ok because is tilted and she's intriguing me.
Presence
This is a big one for remembering names.
Before I would SUCK at remembering peoples names seconds after they just told me. I'd be too worried about what's happening next in the interaction.
But I find once I'm super ALERT to the moment, it's like my little radar antennas on top of my head are able to receive things MUCH more clearly and details like names get burned into my memory.
This helps a LOT with networking in general.
If you want to get places in life, start being super ALERT and conscious (no thoughts) when people tell you their names.
Being super present with people makes them feel special. Because in turn... they KNOW you're looking deeper than the surface. Seeing the REAL THEM inside. People will appreciate and remember people who are conscious around them.
Flippant Fun
So, I can at TIMES be somewhat flippant.
I used to go a bit far and come off as gay, but that's ok to go to that area as long as you don't get stuckt here.
Being flippant is like natural push and pull. You are in and out, having fun, waving your arms around the place.
You become DYNAMIC.
Though this may not be for everyone, it helps me get in state and be REAL about what I'm feeling and trying to express.
A TRUE value giver is a giver of love - real love
As I was saying before, true value giving is an expression of love.
GOALS
Where do Goals come into effect when all we have is the moment? Goals are awesome.
However, they are always SECONDARY to the moment. Know what you want, chalk it down as a goal.
solidify it.
know it indefinitely. then don't think about it. Just be open to it happening.
You'll realise after a while, it's kind of already there in a sense. it comes to you.
Sex for example becomes simple because there is no thought towards it. You don't think about it, you're open to it so solidly that it just comes to you The more open you are, the more abundance you'll experience.