For some of the women interviewed in this research, personal and romantic relationships with men were also important in raising their gender awareness. In most cases, these relationships are based on unequal power relations whereby the man is often the one who makes decisions in the relationship. In some situations these decisions included whether the woman could join the labour market, be active in the trade union and the type of work or industry in which they could engage. For Joyce Pekani, her ex-husband forbade her to work.
I got married and then moved to Durban in 1983. At the time I had a baby girl. But the marriage did not last long. We had differences with my husband as he was expecting me to stay at home and take care of the baby. He did not want me to be in the labour market … Joyce Pekani, Interview 2004).
For some women already in the workplace, their husbands made decisions for them about working late night shifts. According to Modise “… when the company wanted to introduce the night shift for all workers, including women…I put in my notice of resignation because my husband would not allow me to work nightshift” (Faith Modise, Interview 2004).
In the interview with Lydia Kompe she discussed at length her first husband and the control that he had over her economic activities. As mentioned earlier, Kompe could not complete her high school education. However, she had the junior certificate (grade ten), which qualified her to train as an assistant nurse.
So in 1954 I went to Potgietersrus hospital to train as a nurse. But I could not finish one year because I was married and my husband did not like the profession I had chosen. In 1955 we came to Johannesburg. He joined the railway. In 1956 I had a baby and in 1958 I had the second one and we got married … (I was still unemployed), he still refused me to train as a nurse … He would say you could do any other work but not nursing. And there was no other work that could pay me well. If I was going to do teaching I needed money and he did not have money and neither did my parents (Lydia Kompe, 2005).
In the history of the South African labour movement Kompe is widely known as an outspoken woman so I was astonished by this information. I therefore asked whether she never challenged her husband at this point. She responded thus:
No, not at that time. In fact during that period marriage came first before your profession. You just felt that if you lose that man you will not get married, so you would put marriage before your profession. And with the rural background you did not have much strength to challenge a
man ... So I obeyed everything he said. We got married in 1958 and I became a housewife and looked after the children (Lydia Kompe, Interview 2005).
Kompe’s views on marriage were largely influenced by the upbringing of girls in the South African society at the time. Girls were brought up to be respectful and obedient, especially to their husbands or any male authority. In some cases, girls went through a ceremony in which they are initiated into womanhood and the rules about being a good woman are laid out. Joyce Pekani elaborated on this initiation ceremony in the following:
… There is a cultural thing that is done for girls, called intonjane (an initiation ceremony whereby a girl is initiated into womanhood). You would be taught about womanhood, how you are supposed to carry yourself as a woman. You are told that you should respect men, irrespective of age, that a man is man. At the time I felt proud that I went through that process. But as an adult I began questioning those things, whether that made sense, that I should respect all men, whether young or old, that I must regard them as superior and always listen and not argue (Interview 2004).
Indeed as Pekani grew up, became mature and exposed to different realities in life, this ‘cultural thing’ or influences were often questioned: for instance, during her short marriage in 1983 she started questioning her upbringing. She had a husband who refused to let her work or even leave the house without permission or being accompanied by him. Reflecting on this experience, Pekani admits in retrospect, “I only realised later that I was resisting” (Interview 2004).
Thembi Nabe (Interview 2004) initially gave in to her husband’s controlling behaviour. She resigned from being the general secretary of the Metal Workers’ Union in 1984 because of the conflict she had at home with her husband about her union activities. Even so, she argues that:
…As time goes on you reach a point where you feel that it is too much, you cannot take it. You know, you try and submit as they say you should submit to your husband. But then you realise that you can only do things that he wants and nothing that you want. You then develop that attitude that you don’t want to be controlled. And once you start challenging him he realises that he does not stand a chance anymore. You realise that if that is what our mothers had to put up
with, you have a life to live (added emphasis). Then he realised that if he persists with his
attitude, we are going to have problems in our marriage. And with that, things changed (Thembi Nabe, Interview 2004).
Nabe’s comments above illustrate her initial acceptance of society’s expectations of her regarding her relationship with her husband. It also shows her processes of developing assertiveness and challenging the common assumptions about male control and domination over her.
In the situation of Lydia Kompe, her long experience of being dominated by her husband, sacrificing an opportunity of having a nursing career and the divorce by her husband “worked” on her. These experiences were influential in her awareness of gender inequalities and oppression in women’s relations with men. She reflects:
I think those are the things that worked on me all the time. When I began looking at my background I realised that I couldn’t allow things to go on like that... That was after we divorced in 1973. He divorced me… He got married to a nurse. I got very angry with him, I’m still angry with him because I feel that I could have gone far with my education. I was bright enough; it was just unfortunate that my parents could not afford to send me to school. After our divorce in 1973 I felt that I had had enough (Lydia Kompe, Interview 2005).
Kompe’s relationship with her husband was not limited to controlling her employment, but it was physically abusive as well. When asked about taking up union leadership in the workplace, in an industry (the metal sector) dominated by men, Lydia Kompe related her experience of observing first her mother being abused by her father while no one was willing to intervene to stop the abuse. “I was always angry with my father for being abusive to my mother”. The second observation was her direct experience of physical violence.121
I don’t know, many things influenced me at that time. You know…the arrogance of my husband, the violence I suffered from my husband, beating me all the time for no apparent reason, actually made me to become… When I was still growing up, I always told myself that I would never tolerate an abusive man. But I was unfortunate that my husband was also abusive towards me. He was very jealous and controlling. He always had this fear that if I got a job I would be better than him. He could see that I was very intelligent. And he therefore never allowed me to have a job (Lydia Kompe, Interview 2006).
In the discussion above, Kompe describes her own processes of gender consciousness. Instead of focusing on the workplace as the question I asked her prescribed, she presents her own understanding of how she became gender conscious. She emphasizes that her gender consciousness was formed prior to her
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This was an unexpected response to the question I asked. Since I was focusing on the workplace, I was expecting a discussion of the power dynamics between women and men there. This illustrates the importance of allowing research informants to be in control of how they present their understanding of their own life experiences.
joining the workforce. According to Kompe, when she entered the labour market and joined the labour movement, she was already “…a bit smart (kebe kele clever - yana) and I was already mature. I already had three grown up children” (Lydia Kompe, Interview 2006). From her experiences in the household, she “had enough” of male domination, and felt brave enough to challenge any male authority - even white male supervisors in the workplace.
Like Kompe, Louisa Modikwe grew up with an abusive father. “He used to be a heavy drinker and when he was drunk he would cause problems in the house. And that behaviour made me have less respect for male figures” (Interview 2005). It was from these observations that Modikwe vowed never to allow anyone to control her or force her into anything. This came out of the discussion about her relationship with the father of her three children and the strong position she has taken against his and his family’s attempts to control her union activities (Interview 2005). She further argues:
…I told myself that I would never live the kind of life that my mother had … I believe that you only live once and you have to live your life to the fullest because you will never be given a second chance to come back to earth once you’ve passed on (Louisa Modikwe, Interview 2005).
In her autobiography, Mashinini discusses her first marriage and the abuse she suffered from her first husband. In a recent interview with the researcher, though not comfortable discussing the issue she notes that “… our marriages had a lot of abuse and that was also an eye opener… to see how long am I going to remain a victim? It is fighting against being a victim (Mashinini, Interview 2005). Mashinini went on to argue against the societal culture, which encouraged women to “stick it out” in marriages, regardless of the extent of abuse, and treated divorced women with contempt:
…But it is how we are brought up. It is like you are a failure … I don’t know if men feel… like we do… it seems as though certain things are for men and not for women. But if you are a woman who wants to stand up for your rights, don’t stick it out my child (referring to me, the researcher), get out … find your own way of making yourself comfortable (Emma Mashinini, Interview 2005).
The differences between Kompe and Modikwe in asserting themselves in male relationships can be largely explained by looking at the differences in their social location and the opportunity structure in each of their location. Although growing up in the same society with the same background, theirs are two different periods. While Kompe and Mashinini are of the older generation that grew up in a context that held strong beliefs about marriage, Modikwe is of the recent
generation. Born in 1967, she grew up in a social context where ideas about marriage and family were already changing. By the time she was an adult and started working in the 1990s households headed by a single female had become widely accepted in her social surroundings. These changes in society are influential in how she handles gender relations.
Conclusion
Experiences of racial and gender discrimination are simultaneous processes for African women. However, racism and apartheid oppression receive more focus, as they are the dominant frame mobilisation articulated by the political leadership. As shown in chapter two, frame alignment is often influenced by the dominant culture and the political context. The dominant political discourse of race articulated by opponents of the apartheid regime influences the language and definition of oppression for Africans.
Since gender discrimination and patriarchal relations within society are regarded as the norm within society, these kinds of oppressions are excluded from the public political discourses. Gender oppression is separated from the broader political discourse and frame mobilisation. However, this does not necessarily mean that women are oblivious to gender discrimination or violation of gender rights within their social setting. As some of the examples in the chapter illustrate, women, through various means at individual levels, have challenged patriarchal domination or gender discrimination. These early experiences of gender oppression and gender discrimination are central in women’s consciousness of gender inequalities within their social setting. Gender consciousness gained from these early experiences is therefore critical for women’s collective solidarity and mobilisation on collective action against gender inequality.