Acceptance and well-being

For many of these women joining a group became a social as well as a creative activity. Seven of the women interviewed were members of a seniors group that met twice a week for activities and lunch. They later joined the art group in the agency setting.

Last year I felt better because I was in all these different groups. I had places to go, people to talk to and I felt like I was needed and wanted. P14 aged 45

Feeling validated was a tipping point for many of the women. For some women, validation was found in a group.

During my third Chemo treatment, I met a nurse who was from Vietnam so we started talking in Vietnamese and then we started singing. Before long we had a group gathered around listening to us. People then encouraged me to join a choir. I took some singing lessons. Now I am in two choirs, one which is social. We have just had our first weekend away, and most of us have been through abuse. It's a wonderful support thing as well. P4 aged 62

When I first moved to this area, I used to walk past the community hall. It looked like they had activities there but the door was always shut. One day I was walking past, and the door was opened so I thought I would just go in and find out what was going on. Sometimes you just get desperate enough to get off your butt. I have a wonderful time there. P1 aged 75

Another woman who was caring for her mother full time recognised her need for time for herself and social contact.

The one good thing about going to the art group is that I find, even if I'm not really doing a lot of art, I enjoy the social aspect of it. I enjoy having that break from caring for Mum. There's that connectivity to other people outside which I think is immensely important. My assumption is it's the same for other people going there. They're getting that break in that same routine that you can't escape from because there's no going on holiday, there's no time out. P15 aged 54

Four women joined a group as a means of meeting new people and as an antidote to loneliness. One woman cared for a young boy on a large farming property.

We had an art group in a nearby country town. We got together every fortnight. I taught a lot of the young farmer's wives what I knew. Others taught us things. I have very fond memories of those groups. Looking after a little fella on the farm I was alone. That is why I loved going to the group. P1 aged 75

One woman, who moved from interstate, joined an art group to meet fellow artists.

I hardly knew anyone. That's why I was so disappointed when it was so cut-throat. You never get to know anyone really until you become truly authentic. The funny thing is, it brought opportunities and brought connections to people. After our group exhibition the

gallery owner offered me a one-year residency at the art gallery so in a way the group did help. P11 aged 55

One woman, who had moved into a new neighbourhood, joined a drama group and this brought unexpected opportunities. “

I moved into this very good, strong bonding community. They do a lot for others which I really enjoyed so I started to do voluntary work and then I got a job managing a day option program. Then they paid me as a support worker for people with mental illnesses. The drama group was excellent because everyone enjoyed themselves. It makes people feel empowered, but it also makes much better, stronger friendships, more genuine friendships. P15 aged 54

After travelling in her van for four years, moving into a new environment (an over 60s village) led one woman to join three groups to see where she belonged.

It's taken a long while to settle in my new place. A year ago I joined U3A, and I have met a lot of people. I now run a laughter yoga group through them. Just recently I got involved in a community organisation that held an arts event in the street. I put my hand up to go and talk to all the businesses to get them involved. It was fun doing it. P12 aged 66

Three women expressed a love of writing and enthused about how it had led them to meet other people. One woman is a prolific “blogger” who has an international online following. For another woman, being part of a group project and having some of her stories and poems published brought closer connections to her children. This woman recently started a book club which meets monthly in her home. Another has published a book about her lived experiences after being encouraged to do so by members of her support group.

7.7 Chapter Summary

This chapter revealed the stories that resulted from the interviewing process, some stories told for the first time, and many tears were shed by some of the women during the telling. These stories described the women's journey from hopelessness to hope, a journey taken many times throughout their life time and how they navigated this journey. Living with uncertainty in relation to housing, money, health and family support was a constant theme as was losing hope, hanging onto hope, and searching for a place where they felt they belonged. The women mentioned life changing events which caused feelings of loss, grief, shame, and guilt and led to social isolation. In many cases this increased the woman’s reluctance to reach out and ask for help.

The following chapter explains the barriers and enablers that either prevented the women or enabled them to sustain hope in uncertain times, have a feeling of belonging and feel hopeful about their future. The usefulness of the method, the contribution of the method to the findings, unexpected outcomes and methodological coherence is also discussed.

Chapter Eight: Sustaining hope in uncertain times

in search of wonders despite the pain. (Cyrulnik, 2011, p. 277).

8.1 Introduction

The findings of this research inquiry are preliminary but provide rich insights into the lived experiences of twenty older women who found themselves unexpectedly homeless or at housing risk for the first time later in life. The women recounted stories about the impact that family background, money, unexpected life events and their belief system had on their ability to navigate their journey from hopelessness to hope. Woven through the women’s stories were the common threads of childhood experiences (positive and negative), money issues which impacted on health and housing, life-changing events, significant tipping points, and a search for a place where they felt safe.

The journey taken by these women while searching for safe, secure accommodation and a financially viable future seemed to be like a meandering pathway that ebbed, flowed and sometimes lurched, from the place called hopelessness towards a place in the distance called hope. During this journey, there were significant tipping points that either encouraged or forced women to stop and reflect on options and possibilities for their future. From this space, the women had a choice - to step into the unknown or to return to the safety of the known. This journey was taken whenever an unexpected life-changing event occurred, leaving them with feelings of uncertainty about what to do next. How they navigated this journey determined how society perceived them – as an optimist who was filled with hope or a pessimist who continually felt that life was hopeless. The people who meet and companion the women on their journey had a significant role to play in how they experienced and interpreted their feelings of hopelessness and hope.

This enquiry is a testament to hope, belonging and the space in between – the space of what next is possible? Many people resonate with feelings of hopelessness and hope. They may have personally experienced it or companioned another as they navigated their journey from hopelessness to hope, which may or may not have led to homelessness or housing risk. Recognising some part of their story in the stories told by the research participants may enable these people to gain insights into their own experiences. Homelessness for many people is now one life-changing event away. It could happen to someone known to any of us, be it a relative, a friend or a work colleague.

A significant tipping point in the journey for all the research participants occurred when they made the decision to release their past negative experiences and relationships that no longer served them. The first step was seeking information and asking for help which came in a variety of ways, be it initially joining a self-help group, a creative arts group or seeing a counsellor to address psychological and health issues. This enabled them to reach out and commence their search for a place where they would be accepted and appreciated – a place to belong.