Addressing patterns

In the first section of this chapter it has become clear that categorizing in IPVT’s has no place in the decision-making process of domestic violence professionals: the typologies are not used to inform the professionals or to analyse the patterns in specific cases of partner violence. That professionals are cautious with labelling and profiling is understandable, because it may violate their objective attitude and increases the risk of misapplication. Their approach is always individually tailored and because of their open open-minded attitude a different pattern can be observed in each specific case. Recognizing patterns of partner violence is one of the many aspects in the practice of domestic violence professionals, but no specific guidelines have been observed in how this is done. In this following part, it will be explained how professionals try to get insight into how a specific pattern plays out in a particular relationship with the eventual goal being providing insight for both partners into their own patterns. This starting point of thinking in patterns of partner violence is one of the few factors that can be connected to the fundaments of the IPVT’s. Theses typologies are also built on the assumption that IPV behaviour is a pattern in which different forms and

intensities can be distinguished. One of the documented examples that stresses the importance patterns is the Oranje Huis Aanpak, used and developed by the Blijfgroep. Here it is described that to stop the violence on the long term, it is important to investigate the interaction and context, and provide insight into the behavioural patterns and convince those involved of the problematic consequences of these patterns (Methode-bescrijving Oranje Huis Aanpak, 2017).

The experience of the social workers in the ambulatory setting is that their clients dare discussing their issues when they are confronted with them (social worker VT & SD 1,2,3). One of the given reasons for this is that the involved couple also want change and that they do not defend their pattern (social worker VT). When a couple has been open about the violence, the next step is to make them see the pattern and accept the fact that they need help to overcome these patterns - this step is considered to be more complicated (social worker SD 3). Creating of insight starts by stating there is a pattern. ‘When there have been multiple incidents, it is not just a situation that got out of control’ (social worker VT). This gives the professional reason to say that there is a pattern for which the partners need help. In one of the interviews it was emphasised that in practice, ‘there are never just incidents, it is always part of a pattern, in almost each case it is clear that there has been violence in the past or that in the future more violence will occur’ (psychologist VT). The focus on patterns here is considered very important, because ‘going along in the reasoning of incidents is just waiting for the next incident’ (psychologist VT).

The mission of the Blijfgroep is to prevent women from relapsing into their old patterns with the same partner or in a new relationship when leaving the shelter. It is therefore very important for someone to become aware of their own behavior pattern. An instrument used by the Blijfgroep is the family taxation, a broad and far-reaching investigation which can take up to six weeks (Blijfgroep advisor). During this taxation, it is researched what has happened in the past and what the pattern of the person that stays in the shelter is. This includes conversations about violence in earlier relationships. It will also be questioned what has already been tried to increase the safety (Blijfgroep advisor). This investigation is important for the professionals to gather information about the situation, but this is not the primary goal. An important objective of this taxation is for the person involved to gain insight into their situation and discover room for possible change. The role of the social workers in the shelter is to provide support in this process. This process is not necessarily aimed at conveying the

insight of the professionals onto the clients, but the goal is to let the clients discover their patterns themselves. This process can go in many directions and it contributes to the insight and self-image of the victims on their own capabilities. This insight may fluctuate and it is important to provide room for this fluctuation, ‘when someone has been in a relationship for fifteen years it is normal that you don’t get out if it in an instance, it is a process of recovery’ (Blijfgroep advisor). The interviewee emphasized the importance of the room for doubt and room for learning about safe behaviour. The notion of boundaries about what is safe and what is not, have been disturbed. Women in the shelters are often traumatised and have issues regarding trust and safety: ‘There are those who underestimate their safety and remain very fearful and there are those that underestimate risks’ (Blijfgroep advisor). This needs to be discussed in such a way that they slowly get insight in this subject and to recover this sense of safety can take time.

It is not in the interest of the professionals to study a particular pattern extensively, because their work is about making the couple aware of their repeating behavior. ‘Often there is a pattern play which we then discuss, for me the analyzing of this pattern doesn’t matter that much then’ (social worker SD 1). It can take a while before a couple realizes what their pattern is and some couples never get to that point (Ibid). This social worker expressed that she always starts simple and whenever possible she lets the clients make their own plan. This usually does not work, but it is very important that the couple first makes an attempt to solve the issue themselves and potentially discover their pattern on their own. ‘The fact that they are thinking about their behavior with a system is already an achievement’(social worker SD 1). When the couple recognizes that their approach has failed, they might have become a step closer to the realization that they need professional help to work on certain issues. From the vision of SD much emphasis is placed on making an appeal on the own strengths of the individuals, because what works for a particular couple and how can their pattern can be breached.

The VT psychologist expressed that the word pattern is very important in their concluding report. It is their aim to capture these patterns and grasp what has happened, clarify the underlying issues to see if there a psychological problem, aggression regulation issue or addiction involved (psychologist VT). While clarifying these patterns, it is important to investigate if someone has been traumatised by abuse in his or her youth. This relates to the earlier mentioned pattern of couples that see no other options to solve their arguments because

they are raised with violence. Verstrepen (2006) has identified this group of partner violence victims as trauma repetitive victims. When discussing the topic of re-victimization, all the interviewees emphasized the importance of knowing if someone has experienced violence in earlier relationships. It is crucial for the victim to understand their own dangerous pattern of partner choice. Following Verstrepen (2006), this chronical group of victims of partner violence have an increased risk of getting into another violent relationship. Various social workers mentioned that in their experience, the underlying reasons for partner violence were often related to factors such as repeated miscommunications, incapability to solve them and lack control of on their own emotions (social worker Blijfgroep & VT & SD 1,2,3). Such patterns correspondent to SCV, the most common type of partner violence, as the violence is rooted in the events of a particular situation and characterized by poor ability to solve conflicts and control anger (Ellis & Stuckless, 1996; Johnson, 1995, 2006; Johnston & Cambell, 1993).

After identifying a pattern, it is described in such a way that it becomes concrete what is happening in the relation and what the underlying causes are in order to make a decision about what the appropriate help or treatment is (psychologist VT). The social worker in the male shelter of the Blijfgroep Amsterdam expressed he educates his clients about their own and their partners behaviour by explaining the circle of violence3_{. The purpose of discussing} this is to unfold the building up process of the violence in the relationship, which can give interesting insights to the clients (social worker Blijfgroep). Another often mentioned manner to show the pattern in a relationship is by letting the couple find out what each other’s triggers of aggression are in conflicts (social worker Blijfgroep & VT & SD 1). The importance of gaining insights in the violent pattern in this method, is not meant for the overview of the professionals, but for the couple involved. ‘It is very helpful when clients realize what is going on in their relationship’ (social worker SD 3). The next step for them is to accept help to breach this pattern, but the experience from social workers of SD is that couples are not always open to this option and state ‘it won’t happen again’ and fall back into the rhetoric of incidents (social worker SD 2, 3). According to one of the social workers from SD, this is mainly related to a lack of insight in their own behaviour. This is one of the issue that arises

3 _{The spiral of violence is a frequently used instrument that can be seen as a framework for understanding a} specific history of a relationship. When the spiral is presented to couples with violence problems, it costs little effort for them to recognize themselves in this narrative (Blow, 2012:12). An elaboration of the spiral of

when attempts are made by professionals to create insights in the patterns of their clients with the eventual goal to breach these patterns.