Please tick the appropriate box. On a rating scale of 10 please rate how characteristic
each statement is of you or of other people in general. 10 is very characteristic and 1
is not at all characteristic.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1. When people really care for someone, they often
feel worse about themselves.
2. When someone gets too emotionally close to another person, they often feel lost.
3. When people get really angry at someone, they often feel worthless.
4. It is when people start getting emotionally close to someone that they are most likely to get hurt. 5. People need to maintain control over others to
keep from being harmed.
6. I find that people seem to change whenever I get to know them.
7. It is easy for me to see both good and bad qualities that I have at the same time. 8. I find that people either really like me or they
hate me.
9. I find that others often treat me as if I am only there to meet their every wish.
10. I find that I really vacillate between really liking myself and really disliking myself.
11. When I am by myself, I feel that something is missing.
12. I need other people around me to not feel empty. 13. I sometimes feel that part of me is lost whenever
I agree with someone else.
14.
Like others, whenever I see someone I really respect and to whom I look up, I often feel worse about myself.
15. I find it easy to see myself as a distinct individual.
16. Whenever I realise how different I am from my parents, I feel very uneasy.
17. In my experience, I almost always consult my mother before making an important decision. 18. I find it relatively easy to make and keep
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 19. I find that, when I get emotionally close to
someone, I occasionally feel like hurting myself. 20. I find that either I really like someone or I can’t
stand them.
21. I often have dreams about falling that make me anxious.
22. I find it difficult to form mental pictures of people significant to me.
23.
I have on more than one occasion seemed to wake up and find myself in a relationship with someone, and not be sure of how or why I am in the relationship.
24. I must admit that, when I feel lonely, I often feel like getting intoxicated.
25. Whenever I am very angry with someone, I feel worthless.
26. If I were to tell my deepest thoughts, I would feel empty.
27. In my experience, people always seem to hate me.
28. Whenever I realise how similar I am to my parents, I feel very uneasy.
29. Often, when I am in a close relationship, I find that my sense of who I am gets lost.
30. I find it difficult to see others as having both good and bad qualities at the same time. 31. I find that the only way that I can be me is to be
different from other people.
32.
I find that when I get emotionally too close to someone, I sometimes feel that I have lost a part of who I am.
33. Whenever I am away from my family, I feel very uneasy.
34. Getting physical affection itself seems more important to me than who gives it to me. 35. I find it difficult to really know another person
well.
36. I find that it is important for me to have my mother’s approval before making a decision.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 37. I must admit that when ever I see someone else’s
faults I feel better.
38. I am tempted to try to control other people in order to keep them close to me.
39. I must admit that whenever I get emotionally close to someone I sometimes want to hurt them.
7.5
Appendix E: The Inventory of Parent and Peer Attachment
The questions below ask you about your relationship with your mother. Please place
a tick in the appropriate box.
Almost always or always true
Often true Sometimes true Seldom true Almost never or never true 1. My mother respects my feelings
2. I feel my mother is successful as a parent
3. I wish I had a different mother 4. My mother accepts me as I am 5. I have to rely on myself when I
have a problem to solve
6.
I like to get my mother’s point of view on things I’m concerned about
7. I feel it’s no use letting my feelings show
8. My mother senses when I’m upset about something
9.
Talking over my problems with my mother makes me feel ashamed or foolish
10. My mother expects too much of me 11. I get upset easily at home
12. I get upset a lot more than my mother knows about
13. When we discuss things, my mother considers my point of view 14. My mother trusts my judgement 15. My mother has her own problems,
so I don’t bother her with mine 16. My mother helps me to understand
myself better
17. I tell my mother about my problems and troubles 18. I feel angry with my mother 19. I don’t get much attention at home 20. My mother encourages me to talk
about my difficulties 21. My mother understands me
Almost always or always true
Often true Sometimes true Seldom true Almost never or never true 22. I don’t know whom I can depend
on these days
23.
When I am angry about something, my mother tries to be
understanding 24. I trust my mother
25. My mother doesn’t understand what I’m going through these days 26. I can count on my mother when I
need to get something off my chest 27. I feel that no one understands me 28. If my mother knows something is
bothering me, she asks me about it
The questions below ask you about your relationships with your closest friends. Please place a tick in the appropriate box.
Almost always or always true
Often true Sometimes true Seldom true Almost never or never true 1. I like to get friends’ point of view
on things I’m concerned about 2. My friends sense when I’m upset
about something
3. When we discuss things, my friends consider my point of view
4.
Talking over my problems with my friends makes me feel ashamed or foolish
5. I wish I had different friends 6. My friends understand me 7. My friends encourage me to talk
about my difficulties 8. My friends accept me as I am 9. I feel the need to be in touch with
my friends more often
10. My friends don’t understand what I’m going through these days
Almost always or always true
Often true Sometimes true Seldom true Almost never or never true 11. I feel alone or apart when I am with
my friends
12. My friends listen to what I have to say
13. I feel my friends are good friends 14. My friends are fairly easy to talk to 15. When I am angry about something,
my friends try to be understanding 16. My friends help me to understand
myself better
17. My friends are concerned about my well-being
18. I feel angry with my friends 19. I can count on my friends when I
need to get something off my chest 20. I trust my friends
21. My friends respect my feelings 22. I get upset a lot more than my
friends know about 23. It seems as if my friends are
irritated with me for no reasons 24. I tell my friends about my
problems and troubles
25. If my friends know something is bothering me. They ask me about it