In the Western world, people usually choose their own marriage partners, but arranged marriages are still common in Middle Eastern and Asian cultures. The practice can cause culture clash when immigrants maintain this tradition in the West. For Westerners, the practice rouses concern about the rights of women and brings up the question of assimilation vs. cultural identity.
PROS
Arranging marriage is an insult to the very nature of mar- riage, which should be about creating a loving and last- ing partnership and family. It reduces marriage to a com- mercial transaction and, therefore, undermines family values. It becomes even more of an issue when it occurs in a Western society that values freedom of choice. Parents and the community often put unacceptable pres- sure on their children to accept an arranged marriage. Moreover, the line between an arranged and a forced marriage is so hazy that it cannot be policed. We must stop the former to prevent the latter.
Arranged marriages are bad both for the individual women concerned and for women generally. Immi- grant women often are very vulnerable: they are far from home, do not speak the local language or dialect, and are totally reliant on the husband’s house and family. The lack of a support network, the language to appeal for help, or knowledge of their rights makes women in arranged marriages disproportionately likely to suffer abuse. Arranged marriages commodify women, who are bartered between the male heads of houses. This is not acceptable in an egalitarian society that emphasizes indi- vidual rights.
Arranged marriage separates immigrant communities and the wider society. It leads to cultural ghettoization and distrust in the wider community, which emphasizes individual rights and freedom of choice.
CONS
Arranged marriages are often very successful; only a very small number end in divorce. Millions of people marry for the “wrong” reasons: financial security, desire for children, parental pressure, and lack of choice among potential partners. To claim that all marriages must be love matches is pure romanticism.
Arranged marriages do involve choice. The difference is merely that whole families are involved in the deci- sion. Many of what we would call arranged marriages are either parents introducing their children to poten- tial partners or engaging in the negotiations necessary for marriage after their children have chosen a partner. Moreover, it is totally illogical for the government to intervene to stop people having the marriages that they and their families have chosen in the name of freedom of choice. We must stop forced marriages, but in a free society, people have the right to choose an arranged marriage.
Arranged marriages in Europe and North America have low levels of abuse and marital violence. Vulnerability of those without language skills is a problem for all immi- grants, not just those in arranged marriages. Finally, most marriage organizers are women, who gain prestige and authority through their role. What you are really saying is that Islamic societies are patriarchal and that Muslims have arranged marriages.
Groups practicing arranged marriage are not the only ones set on maintaining cohesive communities; many groups retain a distinct cultural life while fully taking part in the life of this country. Their cultural contribu- tions are one of the most valuable additions to modern
0|The Debatabase Book
Arranged marriage is not an inviolate cultural value. Every major religion, including Islam, guarantees freedom of choice in marriage. Further, the custom is a product of a patriarchal culture that oppresses women. Although we cannot intervene in countries with such value systems, we can stop the importation of such systems. True mul- ticulturalism relies on shared commitment to a tolerant and fair society.
Arranged marriage provides a cover for illegal immigra- tion. Authorities will challenge marriages of convenience between citizens and aliens but are reluctant to investi- gate arranged marriages because of the danger of being seen as culturally insensitive.
multicultural societies. A multicultural society values people with different perspectives and traditions. Arranged marriage is a cultural tradition confirmed by ethnographic data. There is no conflict between arrange- ment and a guarantee of free choice; the two are entirely consistent. Western societies cannot dictate what is cul- turally valid for ethnic minorities. To do so would be ethnocentrism writ large. Furthermore, how can immi- grants understand the importance we place on toleration if we deny them cultural freedom?
Most arranged marriages last beyond the time required for citizenship, so they would be legitimate under any circumstances.
PROS CONS
Sample Motions:
This House would ban arranged marriages.
This House believes a true marriage is a free marriage. This House believes marriage should be for love.
Web Links:
• Aunts and Arranged Marriages in India. <http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Lab/3550/aunt.htm> Humorous essay on the role of family members in arranging marriages.
• First Comes Marriage, Then Comes Love. <http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/3321/win4a.htm> Essay describing how a mar- riage is arranged.
• NPR: Arranged Marriage. <http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1054253> Discussion of the pros and cons of arranged marriage.
Further Reading:
Schwartz, Mary Ann, and Barbara Marliene Scott. Marriages and Families: Diversity and Change. 4th ed. Prentice Hall, 2003.