Autoethnography

As part of my thesis, in addition to the data collected via focus groups and interviews outlined above, I have included my own stories and experiences as an elite student-athlete in an autoethnographic format. Autoethnography is a qualitative research method that combines autobiography with ethnography (Reed-Danahay, 1997). Autoethnographies provide insight into real-life events, influences, and the meaning of personal experiences for individuals (Pace, 2012). It is a highly-personalised form of writing “where authors draw on their own experiences to extend understanding of a particular discipline or culture” (Holt, 2003). As contended by a number of researchers, placing a magnifying glass on a lived experience could offer valuable insight for the researcher, participants, and readers (e.g., Raab, 2013). Ellis and Bochner (2000, p.739) state that autoethnographies are “stories affected by history, social structure, and culture, that themselves are dialectically revealed through action, feeling,

thought, and language.” Further to this, Ellis and Bochner (2000, p.737) state that, “by exploring a particular life, I hope to understand a way of life.” I hoped that by exploring and writing about my own life as a student-athlete at a UK university that this would enhance the current thesis in a way that made it unique, personal, and provide a way of highlighting a reality that readers may not have considered previously. In addition, writing

autoethnographically offers new ways of communicating findings (Spry, 2011). Writing and interpreting my experiences may offer a style of writing that student-athletes may find

appealing and inviting. Ellis (1995) notes that this form of writing may be able to reach wider and more diverse mass audiences that traditional research usually disregards, that can make social change possible for more people (Ellis, 1995). Student-athletes may be able to use the writing as a means of reflecting on their current situation and stimulate them to take action.

As a research tool, autoethnography has been used to study several diverse topics, these include; academic depression (Jago, 2002), classroom performance (Alexander, 1999), and masculine identity formation (Brooks, 2006). Within the field of sport psychology, examples of autoethnographic studies include, Krane (2009), who crafted sport stories from her childhood and analysed them for their psychological and social influence, and Douglas (2014), who contrasted media narratives of her sport career with self-stories to convey self- reflexive understanding of her self-identity and life in professional sport. There have, however, been few autoethnographic studies that have been conducted by student-athletes, documenting the challenges that they have encountered throughout their dual careers. One study from Ross (2006), explores the researcher’s experience of being a black, lesbian student- athlete at an NCAA Division 1 University. Although the author briefly explored their identity as a student-athlete, there is no focus on the transition into university, the process of moving through university, and the transition out of university. In addition, Hartman (2014) wrote an autoethnographic account that analyses the culture of the National Collegiate Athletic

Association (NCAA) through a personal narrative of their experience as a Division I

basketball player, with recommendations regarding scholarship regulations. To the best of my knowledge, no autoethnographic studies have, however, focused specifically on transitions and experiences that student-athletes face during their career, and within a UK context.

Initially, it was my intention to write an autoethnography as a separate section in the thesis. It became clear, however, that the content of my autoethnography and certain periods that I had written about corresponded with the three parts that have been presented in the current thesis; the transition to university, the process of being a university student-athlete, and the transition from being a student-athlete. I decided to present my autoethnographic writing

within these sections of the thesis in a chronological order. This presentation of

autoethnographic elements meant that the thesis write-up became an overall story of the whole university experience for student-athletes, from entry into the process, right through to the exit from university, and completion of a degree. For example, in Part A, before participant data on the acute changes that student-athletes experience when they move into university, I have included a segment of my own experiences of the changes that I experienced when I made the transition into university. Within these pieces of writing, I endeavoured to highlight the difficult decisions, struggles, and challenges that I faced moving into, through and out of university. By sharing my own experiences alongside participant data, I hoped to add a level of detail that has not been witnessed before in dual career research.

Although I decided to use autoethnographic writing throughout my thesis to supplement participant data, academics have reported concerns about the method. Patton (2015) highlights that some critics object to the method because of the way it blurs the line between social science and literary writing. Autoethnography has been dismissed for social scientific standards as being insufficiently rigorous, theoretical, and analytical, and too

aesthetic, emotional, and therapeutic (Ellis, 2009). Additionally, the most common criticism of autoethnography is of its strong emphasis on self, being narcissistic, introspective, and

individualised (Coffey, 1999). Despite this critique, Richardson (2000) sees the integration of art, literature, and social science as precisely the point, bringing together the creative and critical aspects of inquiry. Later in the chapter, I have addressed the trustworthiness and evaluation of my autoethnographic accounts.

3.3.4.1 Construction of Autoethnographic Narratives. Data in ethnographic research will typically arise from interviews, participant observation field notes, documents and diaries (Morse & Richards, 2002). When researchers write autoethnography, they seek to produce aesthetic and evocative thick descriptions of personal experience (Ellis, Adams, & Bochner, 2011). To do so, similar data sources can be accessed to those undertaking ethnography. For example, Sparkes (1996) drew from medical records, diary extracts, and newspaper articles about himself to discuss his sporting career and the chronic condition that ended it. These researchers do, however, also highlight that remembering their experiences is a key part of the data collection process for their narratives (e.g, Ettorre, 2005).

Autoethnographers will then use the data collected to describe patterns using elements of storytelling (e.g., character, plot development, use of scene, dialogue), showing and telling, and alterations of authorial voice (Ellis et al., 2011). Using these techniques ensures that the writer shows rather than only telling (Raab, 2013).

For the construction of my autoethnographic narratives, I focused on the memories of my lived experience, news articles that reported my successes of being a student-athlete at university, alongside supporting comments from individuals who were an integral part of my life during this period. First, I identified the important events that made up my own university student-athlete experience. Recalling events was done retrospectively by the creation of a dual career timeline that includes both key academic and sporting events that occurred just before, during, and after my undergraduate university degree (see Figure 3.1). The timeline begins in 2009 when I was making the decision about whether to attend university, and runs up until age 24, when I was conducting my PhD full-time and competing for a club in Sweden. Through careful inspection of the timeline, links were made among key events in both academics and sport to form key periods that occurred within my dual career as a university student-athlete, that reflect the three parts of the current thesis (decisions about moving into and transitioning into university, experiences during university, and the transition out of university). After framing these particular periods, I reflected on the events that occurred, and in particular, events that evoked the most emotion within me, and began to bullet point these events, highlighting exactly what happened, the emotions that were experienced, and the behaviours and decisions that I faced. Following this, I asked my mother, father, and former coach of 10 years if they could recall any other key behaviours, emotions or discussions that we had around this time. In addition, I looked at old online and magazine news articles about myself. These articles were written by my university and local sports organisation during my time at university, and focussed on the achievements I made in my sport alongside balancing my university studies.

During the writing process, I used a combination of showing (e.g., use of creative language and setting the scene) and telling. I did not use any characters or plot to recreate my experiences, and instead wrote about my experiences from my own perspective that may have enabled the reader to connect more personally with me as an author. Dialogue was used throughout to highlight some of my own thoughts and the comments of others (e.g., my coach), along with theoretical interceptions to sum up main points. Quotes from articles were used only in my narrative within part B, and were used as way of understanding how my experience at university was perceived by others in comparison to my own thoughts and perceptions.

Education/Work

2010 2013 2014 2015

2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015

Sport

Figure 3.1. Author’s dual career timeline from age 18 to 24

Transitioned into university - moved to a new city - received a sport scholarship (age 19)

Regular member of the England team. Finished college and faced decisions around whether to attend university (age 18)

Missed out on selection for the Commonwealth games in Delhi (age 19)

Graduate from University with 1st class honours undergraduate degree (age 22)

International career stalled - no involvement with NGB Senior Six Nations

event for England – R/UP women’s singles. Begin playing in Swedish Women’s League (age 19). British University Singles Champion (age 20) U21 National Champion (age 21) Bronze medal in Team European University Championships (age 22) Begin Masters degree at same university (age 22) Graduate with distinction in Masters degree (age 23) Begin PhD part- time and work as a lecturer and athlete lifestyle support officer (age 23-24)

Senior Six Nations Event for England - Winner women’s singles (age 23)

New university development and training programme set up by NGB

Receive academic scholarship to complete PhD full- time (age 24) Appointed National table tennis coach at junior/senior level - regular travelling (age 24)

Begin playing for team in Swedish Women’s League (age 24)

On track to gain 1st class degree

3.4 Data Analysis Procedures