If you are a high achiever, it’s often hard to break away to spend time in other ways—such as exercising, sharing with your family, spending quality time with your children, enjoying a hobby, or even attending to your spiritual needs. But this balance is critical to your overall well-being and is essential when battling stress. Maintaining your equilibrium must become a central priority.
If you allow yourself to fall out of balance, things will go wrong in other areas of your life. If you are ignoring your relationship for your career, you can count on having relationship problems, which will then indirectly affect your career. If you aren’t exercising properly, you’ll probably get sick, which again will indirectly affect the other areas of your life. What areas in your own life are out of balance? What can you do to create balance?
6. At night, put your work and concerns aside.
By eight or nine o’clock at night, put your work and concerns aside. Let this be the time you are finished for the day and ready to relax. Be aware that it will still take two or three hours for all your internal stress hormones to be re- absorbed by the glands that
produced them. Spend this time doing something that is relaxing, while also mentally engaging. This will take your mind away from the stressful thoughts of the day.
7. Be direct and honest; handle disputes
with other people immediately.
When you are not direct and honest, you repress. Repression is simply another expression of fear. Fear is negative subconscious programming that only creates future negative experiences. Fear of expressing your true feelings dissipates your energy. The more you repress, the less energy you have to be who you really are.
To resolve problems, all you have to do is be direct and honest about what you want and don’t want. Express your needs calmly, without resentment or hostility. Don’t be afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings. If someone cannot accept you as you are, without attempting to manipulate you, do you really need that person in your life?
If there is conflict, negotiate a compromise before the stress sets in. Storing up hurt doesn’t work. If others have let you down, express what you need to say. And remember, never do anything that causes you to lose self-esteem. If self-esteem is the result of what you do in life, then to increase your self-esteem you need to do things that support your goal. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, you build your self-esteem. When you do things you don’t feel good about, you lower your self-esteem.
8. Do what you do naturally and well, and delegate the
rest of the responsibilities to others.
Some of you may believe that when it comes to your work, you can do it better than anyone else. When others don’t get the job done, you take on the task. Instead, why not decide to delegate everything you don’t really need to do?
You don’t need to control every little situation, and you can live with a little less perfection. Research has shown that busy executives who are less stressed than their peers have high self-esteem, think the world is worthwhile, believe they can influence events around them, and tend to see change and problems as opportunities. Start viewing your problems as decisions that need to be made.
If you have irrational outbursts, overly strict standards, and use high pressure tactics at work, you are only being counterproductive. Does your tendency to become easily irritated and aggravated really help you get the job done? Does impatience make it easier to make decisions, or does it cause you to move too quickly and screw up? Do your ultra-high expectations help you succeed? More likely they assure failure. It’s time to replace the idea that overdriven behavior is beneficial. Your extreme hardworking attitude isn’t always healthy, or productive.
Examine your personality. Your personality is the basis of how you react to life’s stresses. Although no one is a total type A or type B personality, most people are inclined toward type A behavior. They tend to be excitable, competitive and goal oriented. In his book, Treating Type A Behavior And Your Heart, Dr. Meyer Friedman says, “If you are a type A personality and can admit to it, you are halfway to kicking the undesirable type A patterns.” The doctor goes on to list low self-esteem and insecurity as the primary causes of these undesirable behavioral patterns. He says that in his
research study of 592 type A people, every single one doubted their ability to perform their duties well enough to warrant advancement in their company. If this describes you, I suggest you read Chapter Three, “Increase Self-Esteem.”
9. Examine your self-talk to see what you are
programming into your subconscious mind.
Thoughts and fantasies constantly run through your mind, indirectly creating your future reality. Sometimes they are in response to a specific event and sometimes they just flood into your mind when you are quiet. Here are some negative examples of self- talk: “I just can’t stand waiting in lines.” “I never have enough time to get everything done I need to do.” “I’d like to have a tank so I could crush every car that cuts in front of me on the freeway.”
Use a thought stopping technique to stop the negative self-talk from becoming subconscious programming. Say these two trigger words to yourself, “Success Opportunity.” Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. Never allow someone else’s lack of balance to create a problem for you. This technique assures positive—instead of negative—programming.
10. Exercise!
Since stress prepares your body for intense muscular activity, exercise is a great way to relieve built-up tension. The more aerobic the exercise the better. Vigorous daily exercise increases levels of the neurotransmitters as well as endorphins, the body’s natural opiates, and will make it easier for you to relax more completely. The oxygen flooding through your system will help you detoxify more quickly and eliminate the biological factors that prolong stress.
So, running, fast walking, swimming, cycling, calisthenics, and aerobic dancing are especially recommended. When you include regular exercise as a part of your lifestyle, it assists you to keep your stress level low enough to absorb ordinarily stressful situations without affecting you. Obviously it is best not to take up competitive exercise such as handball, tennis, or volleyball, as these may create other stressful situations.
11. Change your eating habits.
Eliminate those foods which generate or worsen stress. On days of extreme stress, eat more carbohydrates. Proteins contain energizing brain chemicals, while carbohydrates, through a complex metabolic pathway, allow more tryptophan, a component that enhances relaxation, to get into the brain.
Poor diet generates far more stress than most people realize. Even if you just incorporate the new government dietary guidelines you’ll be well served. Reduce your intake of foods containing sugar and refined white flour. Eliminate junk foods and fried foods. Replace red meat with fish, chicken or turkey. Avoid cholesterol. Reduce your alcohol intake. Eat more fresh vegetables, many of them raw. Also eat fresh fruits, and 100 percent whole grain bread, cereal and pasta products.
There are three food related diseases which often generate or worsen stress. The first is food allergies, the second is hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), and the third is candida—the yeast problem. All are very common, all are curable simply by changing
your diet. For example, you can greatly reduce candida by eliminating sugar and dairy products from your diet.
If you don’t take vitamins, perhaps you should consider vitamin supplements. Most health food stores carry anti-stress vitamin and mineral formulas that can be very helpful. Some of the most important stress fighters are vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, the complete B complex, and panthenic acid, which is vitamin B-5. Most nutritionists suggest using supplements, but you need expert advice, or you need to do your own research before purchasing vitamins. Of course, obtain your doctor’s advice before making any significant changes in your lifestyle.