BUT I WAS ONLY THIRTY I WAS ONLY THIRTY SEVEN SEVEN WHEN
SCENE 2: BILLY AND MICHAEL IN THE HALL BILLY AND MICHAEL IN THE HALL
SCENE 2: BILLY AND MICHAEL IN THE HALL
DAD leaves. BILLY is on his own. Suddenly MIC
DAD leaves. BILLY is on his own. Suddenly MICHAEL appears.HAEL appears.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
A bloody grea
BILLY BILLY
I know -
I know - it’it’s been a s been a right load of shite. All right load of shite. All I got was an I got was an atlas from the university support group.atlas from the university support group.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
Count yerself lucky. I got a stupid football strip. But it’s alright cos I swapped it for a brand new Count yerself lucky. I got a stupid football strip. But it’s alright cos I swapped it for a brand new Cindy the Nurse.
Cindy the Nurse.
He gives BILLY the doll. He gives BILLY the doll.
Did you ever go back and see that wife? Did you ever go back and see that wife?
BILLY BILLY What wife? What wife? MICHAEL MICHAEL
Debbie’s mam. e ballet wife. Debbie’s mam. e ballet wife.
BILLY BILLY
No. I packed it in. No. I packed it in.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
Really? Well, maybe it’s for the best. At least you won’t be running away to that ballet school, Really? Well, maybe it’s for the best. At least you won’t be running away to that ballet school, will ya.
will ya.
BILLY BILLY
What’
What’s good abous good about that, like?t that, like?
MICHAEL MICHAEL
W
Weyey, I’, I’d miss ya.d miss ya.
BILLY BILLY
Look, we’d better go. It’s freezing in here. Look, we’d better go. It’s freezing in here.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
W Wait!ait!
MUSIC CUE 10a.
MUSIC CUE 10a. OUT OF CHRISTMAS OUT OF CHRISTMAS u/s u/s
BILLY BILLY What? What? MICHAEL MICHAEL Come here. Come here.
MICHAEL takes BIL
MICHAEL takes BILLLY’S hands under his jumperY’S hands under his jumper..
BILLY BILLY
What are you d What are you doing?oing?
MICHAEL MICHAEL
I’m just warming your hands. I’m just warming your hands.
BILLY BILLY
Y
Yer not a puff or anythinger not a puff or anything??
MICHAEL MICHAEL
What gave you
What gave you that impression?that impression?
BILLY BILLY Aren
Aren’’t me hands colt me hands cold?d?
MICHAEL MICHAEL
I quite like it. I quite like it.
MICHAEL tries to kiss BIL MICHAEL tries to kiss BILLLYY..
BILLY BILLY Just ’
Just ’cause I like balcause I like ballet doesnlet doesn’’t mean I’t mean I’m a puff, you knom a puff, you knoww..
MICHAEL MICHAEL
Y
You wonou won’’t tell anyone, wilt tell anyone, will ya?l ya?
BILL
BILLY starts to Y starts to back away from MICHAEL.back away from MICHAEL.
BILLY BILLY
Here. Put this on. Here. Put this on.
BILLY tosses MICHAEL a tutu. BILLY tosses MICHAEL a tutu.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
Can I? Cush! Can I? Cush!
(Takes off trackys – he has red shorts underneath) (Takes off trackys – he has red shorts underneath) It’s freezing in here!
It’s freezing in here! (Putting on tutu) (Putting on tutu) Aw
Aw, I’, I’m not sure this m not sure this red will go witred will go with me tutu.h me tutu.
BILLY BILLY
Shut up, man. Shut up, man.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
It’s a bit small. Come on - Show us some ballet then. It’s a bit small. Come on - Show us some ballet then.
BILLY BILLY
No. I told ya. I’ve packed it in. No. I told ya. I’ve packed it in.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
(T
(Turns this urns this into a into a little dance)little dance) JUST A LITTLE BIT
JUST A LITTLE BIT. HUH. JUST A L. HUH. JUST A LITTLE BITITTLE BIT. HUH. JUST A L. HUH. JUST A LITTLE BITITTLE BIT.. (Attempts a split, but it ends painfully)
(Attempts a split, but it ends painfully) OW!
OW! No No wonder they call wonder they call it the it the Nutcracker!Nutcracker!
MICHAEL MICHAEL
Go on, show uz some dancing. Go on, show uz some dancing.
BILLY BILLY
W
We’e’d best be goind best be going; me dad’g; me dad’ll be after us.ll be after us.
MICHAEL MICHAEL
W
Well, a right barrel oell, a right barrel of laughs you f laughs you are.are.
BILLY BILLY
If you like, you can keep the tutu. If you like, you can keep the tutu.
MICHAEL MICHAEL Can I? Cush! Can I? Cush! BILLY BILLY Y
Yer not gonna go hoer not gonna go home in it, are ya?me in it, are ya?
MICHAEL MICHAEL
‘Course I am. No one will notice. ‘Course I am. No one will notice.
MICHAEL exits upstage MICHAEL exits upstage..
BILL
BILLY takes tape player, turns on the Y takes tape player, turns on the music, and sets it music, and sets it on the windowsill.on the windowsill.
e music from Swan Lakes plays and BILLY does some ballet. Either this can be a full e music from Swan Lakes plays and BILLY does some ballet. Either this can be a full dance or could just be some exercises – but either way
dance or could just be some exercises – but either way BILLY should get engrossed in whatBILLY should get engrossed in what he
he’s doing and not see DAD ’s doing and not see DAD arrive. DAD watches Barrive. DAD watches BILLY as the music plays and when itILLY as the music plays and when it reaches a high point. He turns the tape recorder off. BILLY turns and looks at hi
reaches a high point. He turns the tape recorder off. BILLY turns and looks at him, fearfulm, fearful of his reaction. ey
of his reaction. ey stare at one another, BILLY terrified.stare at one another, BILLY terrified.
D DAADD
Go home, Billy. Go home! Go home, Billy. Go home!
BILLY runs off. DA
BILLY runs off. DAD is alone. He mimes walking up a path and ringing a D is alone. He mimes walking up a path and ringing a doorbell. edoorbell. e sound of a bell rings. Eventually MRS WILKINSON