Chapter 18: Sometimes Breaking All the Rules is the Only Way
Everything seems painfully normal as I went back to school the next day. People shuffling at the hallways, sea of students trying to make it through their class without failing. Although the seniors were eye-catching with their more daring choice of clothing, it’s actually freshmen that stood out the most, mostly because of their fumbling and scrambling and generally awkward ways of walking. It looked as if they were afraid of the people around.
I sauntered at the hallways pretty easily. Being friends with the cheerleaders and beating up most of the jocks had its perks. Nobody dared to pull the violent shoulder-bump or push me away, and when I walked, people retreated to give way.
As I trudged towards my class, however, I saw a certain blonde-haired girl struggling to keep up with the current.
She was small, tiny, and her face held a nearly permanent expression of torment. Cindy looked like she was about to drown in the sea of people, and it didn’t help that most of the bigger guys bypassed her body as if she wasn’t there. As one particularly huge jock smashed her out of his way, I stalked to their direction.
Cindy was already prostrating on the floor, all of her stuff and books cluttered all around. Somehow, the people around them didn’t seem like they noticed this and resumed walking, causing the books to be stepped on numerous times.
The jock (which name I’d already forgot. Either it was Kyle or Zack or something equally pretentious) couldn’t mingle with the rest of the students, because I’d gotten him on the collar of his equally pretentious jacket.
“Apologize,” I demanded.
He’d got small eyes, but as he faced me, his eyes narrowed even more. I remembered the distinct way his freckles were splattered all across his face and recalled the time I kicked his ass when we were still in junior high. He was small back there, but it seemed that the memory of the pain still haunted him, hence his obedience towards me.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Cindy, who bit on her lip and gave out a shaky nod. I was so sure that she was about to cry.
But then I also remembered that she was the crazy person who was the sole writer of the Big Black Burn Book.
After Kyle or Zack or whoever scurried away, I stood beside Cindy. “Where to?”
“Thank you so much, Andrea!” she half-stammered as she picked the books. I didn’t bother helping her. “Oh, I can’t believe that people are ruthless enough to step on my books…”
I ignored the ruthless part. She was supposed to know about how to be ruthless more than anyone else.
“Where to?” I asked again.
“The library?” it was almost like a question.
I decided that it was necessary to ditch Biology for a talk with Cindy. I ushered her to the library, and since I was taller and stronger than her, the swarm of people gave us way easily.
Once we got to the entrance of the library, Cindy broke free from me. I studied her, waiting for a trace of sadness, of regret, of anything that could indicate that she was upset for losing the book.
But damn, she was a good actress.
“Thank you so much, Andrea!” she squeaked. “Um, aren’t you having classes today?”
“I’d rather ditch it to talk to you,” I said.
That sent her shivers. “Is there… Is there anything that I could do.. to help you?”
My smile was bitter. “Just answer a few questions for me.”
I saw a bulge appeared on her neck and after sliding down a little, it disappeared. It hadn’t been my intention to scare the hell out of Cindy, but maybe having her fear me a little bit could be advantageous for me. Alec wasn’t around, too, which was good since I wanted to solve my problems alone.
And besides, I didn’t think he could face the person who had accused him of murder.
“What-What kind of question..?”
“Cindy!”
Bernadette’s voice sounded like the shrill of death to my ears. If only I wasn’t so determined to get the truth out of Cindy’s mouth, I would have run like a coward. But magically I managed to keep my feet still and watch as Bernadette appeared from the library.
The blonde’s eyebrows were taut as she saw me. “What are you doing here?”
“Talking,” I tried to shift my tone into one that oozed cheerfulness. “You?”
“Unlike some people who barely knew who Hemingway is, I need the library to study for my AP classes.”
Patience, Andrea. Remember that she was just gotten bullied because of you. Patience, don’t glue a zipper to her mouth.
“Okay, then,” I forced a smile and it came out quite naturally. Seemed like my guilt was bigger than my annoyance. “Have fun studying, but I might need to borrow your little runner for a few minutes.”
I knew that calling Cindy Bernadette’s runner would be a blow to her. I anticipated how Cindy inhaled sharply, but I didn’t anticipate Bernadette actually taking a stand for her friend.
“What are you going to do with her, Andrea? Bring her to the gym so that your friends could throw her with rubber balls?” she clucked her tongue in a manner so condescending I was sure she copied it from the royalties.
“Tsk. Stop being so childish. And that applies to your friends too.”
I had to draw a few breaths to calm my nerves. I clenched and unclenched my fists. Fighting jocks and boys were so simple, because all I needed to do was to train and get strong and punch or kick them. Fighting girls, however, was another form of art. A much harder one.
“No, Bernadette. I won’t cause her any harm, I promise,” I said, and again, flashing a smile. “And what my friends have done to you, I’m so sorry.”
That seemed to take her off guard, and Bernadette’s expression softened, if only a little bit. Nevertheless, her eyes didn’t adopt the look like she was going to a war anymore. She turned to see Cindy, gauging her reaction.
Cindy didn’t even bother hiding her frantic head shaking of a no from me.
That somehow made me chuckle. “What are you afraid, you little twit?”
“Language, Andrea,” Bernadette reminded me.
“Sorry,” I said again. I’d never been one who would squander meaningful words like ‘sorry’ or ‘love’ or ‘thank you’, but for Bernadette, I was willing to say sorry a million times. “I’m really sorry, Bernadette.”
She backed away a little bit. “For what?”
“For accusing you,” I bit on my lips. “For encouraging my friends to do that to you. I’m really sorry and if there’s anything that I could do-“
“I want you,” Bernadette began; her tone was sharp and lethal. “ to get the hell away from me.”
For the next few seconds, both of us said nothing.
“Okay,” I said. “Whatever you say.”
“Until I actually announce to you that it’s okay for you to communicate with me again, I don’t want you to come near me. That includes your friends, too.”
“Yes.”
“I mean it,” Bernadette stressed on every word. “I admit I may not liked you from the beginning, and finding out about you and Alec was… disgustingly surprising. But when your friends attacked me for something that I didn’t do in your name…”
“I get it, Bernadette,” I gritted my teeth for so long that it started to hurt. “I’d appreciate it if you stop patronizing me and get on with ignoring me already.”
Bernadette glared at me for a while, and I stared at her back. In that brief moment, I saw a lot of things flying within her eyes. Anger, awe, and disappointment. To be in good terms with her again would be nearly impossible.
“Fine,” she muttered as she started to turn around to go back to the library.
“Bernadette,” I called out for her. “I know that you didn’t do it.”
Whilst I said that, I was looking directly at an appropriately horrified Cindy.
-I didn’t see Alec at all at school, so -I figured that he ditched the whole day completely. Somehow -I felt a little jaded without him around. Since sharing our locker together, he often came to see me, if only just to check.
Okay, stop being stupid, Andrea. Stop it. Stop it!
“Wow, Andrea,” Hannah whispered, since we were at class. “You should have seen the wide array of emotions that you’ve just displayed in just under one minute.”
I winced. “What array of emotions, exactly?”
“First, it was like a normal daydreaming. You know, your mouth was slightly open and you have a lazy eye, it’s hilarious!” Hannah showed a picture of me looking like a total slob. As I tried to grab the phone from her, she giggled and then flicked the phone to show me another one.
“And then your cheeks became a little red. Flushed, you know? Like you’ve got blush on, but I know you don’t because you’re a total dyslexic when it comes to make up.”
Now, it was a picture of me looking even stupider than before, because in a different context, it might look like I was lovestruck or something.
“Next, you start to feel embarrassed,” Hannah showed another picture. By this time, I was already giving up trying to get the phone and let her harass me with her exceptional skills of surveillance. “And then, you look livid! Like, super livid! Like you’re ready to explode!”
“Have mercy, Hannah!” I hissed, now actually afraid that the teacher might notice us and made our topic of conversation known publicly.
“I know who you’re thinking about,” Hannah’s giggled became uncontrollable. “It’s Alec, isn’t it?”
Bullseye!
“No way!” I almost exclaimed, before then I remembered the place I was and only ended up mouthing it. “No way!”
“Then who is it?” Hannah waggled her eyebrows. I hated seeing her waggling her eyebrows.
“It’s nothing.”
“He’s not in school for one day and already you look so beat up. Are you worried or are you extremely worried?”
Hannah cooed. “Oh, Andrea, You don’t need to mind me. I cried two years ago but now it’s all good. You’ve got my permission. And the others, too.”
“Shut… up!” It took every ounce of my willpower not to shout out loud.
Hannah clearly took in her fun with this. “I mean, who wouldn’t melt before the mighty Alec? Just remember not to get too attached, but he’s still a good first boyfriend.”
At that, I could no longer hold it. My cheeks felt unbearably hot and my body coordination deteriorated to the point where I almost fell when I attempted to reach Hannah.
“Hannah, I’m in a very bad mood right now,” I said.
“I know, but you look cute when you’re all embarrassed like that!” Hannah replied cheerfully.
“If you tease me once again about Alec,” I raised a shaky finger, still deciding what kind of punishment that I should raised for the offense.
“Yeah?”
Another idea came up. A crazy idea, but totally plausible.
“I wasn’t thinking about Alec, it was someone else.”
“Is it a guy?” Hannah questioned.
I nodded. A guy who didn’t go to our school. A guy who even Hannah track and stalk online.
“Sexy?”
“Very.”
Hannah narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Does he exist at all?”
“Believe me, he does,” I said, before then I started describing the physical prowess of none other than Gabriel the Patisserie.
-As always, after school it was the Worthington’s huge house. I remembered my last fight with Mrs. Worthington and shuddered a bit. She didn’t call me on my cell to scream that I was fired, neither did Alec said anything about her grandmother, but still I was afraid to step inside her territory. Upon working with the Worthingtons for weeks, I finally came to know how they worked their revenge. They never did it directly, and they always take it slow.
And I was sure that Mrs. Worthington was bidding her time.
When I tiptoed to the kitchen, everything was still clear from any of the Worthingtons. I saw no old woman, no prissy young girl, and even no dastardly asshole. Instead, I was met with Donna, who was squeezing water out of cloths to the basin below.
“Donna!” I was almost happy to see her round face. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah.”
“Where’s Gabriel?”
“Out, private business he said,” Donna didn’t even look at me and concentrated on her job.
I was about to open my mouth to ask her another question when she cut me off.
“I’m busy,” Donna said stoically, even though it felt like we hadn’t met for a long time. “Worthington son is sick.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Worthington son is sick,” Donna repeated as she squeezed more water from the cloths. I then realized that there were lots of ice cube inside the basin. When I touched the cloth, it was freezing cold.
“Is that for him?”
“Did you not hear what I just said?” Donna shot back.
Okay, so I was being slow. I quietly gathered my things and started to mop at the living room. All this time, I saw Donna going back at forth to the kitchen and Alec’s room. After about two hours of witnessing this, I could no longer hold my curiosity.
“Can I go with you?”
“Well,” Donna contemplated about it. “Mrs. Worthington specifically said to me not to allow you near her grandson.”
“Mrs. Worthington can go to hell.”
“Ssssshh!” Donna’s eyes widened in an extreme. “Be glad that you said that in the part of the house that didn’t have CCTV.”
“The house has CCTV?” I was overwhelmed, and a little bit offended by it. If Mrs. Worthington didn’t at the very least trust her helps, she could go clean the house by herself. Or better yet, make Alec help her.
“Oh that old lady is getting on my nerves,” I said.
“Andrea, it’s one thing if you want to get fired, but don’t drag me down with you,” Donna said.
I almost forgot at how deadpan Donna was.
I spent the rest of my evening cleaning and not having any intrusion on doing my job, mostly because Alec was in his room, busy being sick. I convinced myself that it was better this way, because then I could actually clean everything properly and maybe make a good impression. In fact, for the first time I managed to clean Mrs.
Worthington’s room and left it spotless. That was quite a feat, and Mrs. Worthington couldn’t find anything that she could use against me.
“You can take a rest,” she said.
“Is Alec sick, Ma’am?” I asked her.
There was disdain in the way her nose wrinkled. “I thought you’re not supposed to call my grandson so casually.”
I closed my eyes briefly to soften the blow of her words. “Mr. Worthington, then.”
“He’s got high fever, which all more the reason why you shouldn’t go to his room and disrupt his rest.” Was all she said before she slammed the door right before my nose.
Which was great, because I was really close into slamming my fist into her nose.
I was still sheeting before the door, but at about five minutes later, I could hear snores. It started imperceptibly, but gradually became louder and louder. Mrs. Worthington must have had enough sleep since her beloved grandson was sick. I imagined, which came very vividly, how a very obsessive and protective Mrs. Worthington yelling everyone at the house to make her cold rag to compress her beloved grandson. That image gave me warm feelings, mainly because familial love touched me the most.
Maybe I should respect what she wanted. Maybe I shouldn’t go see Alec.
Bah.
No chance, old woman.
Since she was sleeping, this was my opportunity to take a look at Alec. And maybe gloat since we were in the rain together and I didn’t catch even a vestige of cold.
-When you’re trying to sneak onto something, every single voice felt like an explosion, and each of the tiny steps that came everytime my feet had contact with the marbled floor sounded like a shrilling voice of a banshee.
Boom. Boom. Boom.
I think I’m going insane.
I wasn’t sure what made me so determined to see Alec. I wasn’t in the very least worried about him or his sickness.
Or at least, that’s what I told myself.
The door to his room loomed right in front of me, and just like before, my heart thumped loudly as I stood before it. Steeling my resolution, I forced my hand to twist the doorknob.
“Donna, it’s okay, you don’t need to keep coming,” Alec’s voice didn’t had the liveliness that it usually possessed. Instead what I heard was a weak, tired voice that didn’t sound like him at all.
“It’s me,” I said.
There was a lot of shuffling. “Andrea?”
I still held the doorknob, not daring to take a step in. “Um, yeah. Can I come in?”
“Wait a second.”
I waited a second before I decided to enter the room. And then I cringed because I saw Alec, all disheveled and almost naked, stepping into his pajama bottom.
Alec was as totally surprised as I was, if not more. His fever, combined with his embarrassment, resulted in a red face like never before. “I thought you knew that ‘wait a second’ is a figure of speech of ‘wait until I ask you to come in’, not literally wait for one fucking second!”
Since his danger zone had already covered, I found myself not totally overwhelmed by our situation. I quickly closed the door before anyone could spot me inside. “What happened with you and your eagerness to show me your ass, Alec?”
He threw his body back to the bed. There were lots of basins and even more cold rag all around the floor. “That’s only when I’m fit enough to strut my stuff. Now I could even barely stand up.”
I laughed at the hint of desperation at his voice. He was already cooped up inside his blanket, his nose a little red, his hair messy and his eyes couldn’t open wide.
He looked adorably vulnerable.
“How come you get sick so easily?”
Alec shrugged. “How come you’re not sick after all the rain yesterday?” and then, as if remembering something.
“How come you manage to come here?”
He was referring to his grandmother. “Your grandma’s sleeping.”
“Yeah, she stayed up late last night tending me.”
“You’re such a pus sy, Alec,” I said.
He cursed under his breath, but he was smiling. “Hey, it’s still your shift, Ms. Maid. No profanities in my house and you know the right way to call me.”
“Fine,” I humored him. “You’re such a female private part, Master.”
He laughed, although it was still weak.“I wish you could stay here, Andrea. You’re great for my health recovery.”
“Pfft. You’ll say that to anyone.”
His eyes became darker as his tone took a more serious note. “No, I don’t say that to anyone.”
I felt like my breath was stuck on my lungs. Alec didn’t turn on the air conditioner because he was still feverish,
I felt like my breath was stuck on my lungs. Alec didn’t turn on the air conditioner because he was still feverish,