Challenges with Raising Children in Old Naledi

To further explore the issue of parenthood as a stressor, participants were probed regarding what the most challenging thing about raising their children in Old Naledi was. Table 4.10 presents the responses of the participants.

76

Table 4.10: Challenges with Raising Children in Old Naledi Theme: Parenthood as a Stressor

Sub-theme Category Narratives

Challenges with raising Children in Old Naledi Guiding and disciplining Children

“Most women are unable to guide and discipline a boy child when he reaches teenage hood.”

(Bontsi ja basadi ga ba kgone go kgalemela le go tsenya bana ba basimane mo tseleng bogolo thata fa ba setse ba nna di teenagers) “Guidance and disciplining the children

Even if a parent can try to raise her children well and discipline them accordingly they end up meeting up with children from other homes where the children are not brought up well.” (Le fa o kare o godisa ngwana sentle e bile o a mo kgalemela ba felela ba kopana le ban aba malwapa a go senang molao teng)

Negative Peer Influence from friends

“Other parents do not monitor their children and as such children end up learning wrong behaviours from the streets.” (Batsadi ba bangwe ga ba godise bana ba bone sentle ka jalo bana ba felela ba tsere mekgwa ee maswe mo di straateng) “Children are negatively influenced by their peers during play time.” ( Bana ba rutwa maitshwaro a a sa siamang ke ba bangwe fa ba ntse ba tshameka mmogo)

Lack of money for essentials

“Lack of money for clothes, and food.” (Bothata jo ke nang le bone ke letlhoko la madi gore ke ka ba rekela dijo le diaparo) “The biggest challenge is my child needs a lot of things that I on my own am unable to provide.” (Bothata jo botona jo ke nang le jone ke gore ngwana o batla dilo tse dintsi tse ke sa kgoneng go di mo fa ke le nosi)

Negative

Influence of the environment

“The unruly behaviour and actions of people in Old Naledi which I fear will spill over to my children.” (Maitshwaro a batho ba Old Naledi a a sa nnang sentle a ke tshogelang gore a tlaa felela a tsene mo go bo ngwanake)

“I have never raised my children in Old Naledi. Children brought up in this area do not behave well. Their behaviour is not pleasing at all.” (Ga ke ise ke ko ke godisetse bongwanake mo Old Naledi. Bana ba ba golelang mono ga ba itshware sentle. Ga bana botho gotlhelele)

Guiding and Disciplining Children

The biggest challenge for most of the single mothers who were interviewed had to do with guiding and influencing the behaviour of their children, as shown in Table 4.10. Research shows that children brought up in low-income communities are most likely to be affected by social problems and display deviant behaviour revealed in teenage pregnancy, dropping out of school, and engaging in criminal activities (Brooks-Gunn, Duncan, Klevanov & Sealand, 1993; Leventhal & Brooks-Gunn, 2000;

77

Quillian, 2003; Balogi, 2004). Guidance and disciplining of children therefore is crucial for children growing up in low-income communities. Balogi (2004) explains that the family is primarily responsible for the socialisation of children and young people through inculcation of correct values and striking a balance between prohibition and permissiveness. She points out that failure to strike this balance could result in youth deviance. Even though this study’s scope was not to explain the causes of the single mothers’ difficulties with guiding and disciplining their children, Balogi (2004) says that this could be due to the multiple tasks that single parents have to contend with, including those of monitoring and controlling desperate young people while at the same time dealing with their own poverty and unemployment. The single mothers in this study attributed their challenges with disciplining and guiding their children to the negative influence of their environment and their children’s peers.

Negative Peer Influence of Friends

The other challenges faced by single mothers which made parenthood a stressor for them is that their children faced the negative influence of their peers. A quarter of the single mothers indicated that their children learnt the wrong things from their friends, mostly during playtime. Negative peer influence has been found to be a factor in influencing the behaviour of children in low-income communities (Small & Newman, 2001). The findings of this study are therefore similar to what has been found in other studies (Wilson, 1987; Brooks-Gunn, Duncan, Klebanov & Sealand, 1993; Leventhal & Brooks-Gunn, 2000; Quillian, 2003).

Lack of Money for Essentials

The participants indicated that one of the challenges they faced while raising children in a low-income community is the lack of money to buy essentials for their children. The single mothers said that they lacked money to buy clothes and food and to generally provide for their children. Most of the participants were unemployed and depended on others (either their family or the father of the children) to provide for them and their families. This situation could expose single mothers to poverty-related stress which Wadsworth and Santiago said is much more than worries about finances but also includes worries about hunger, violence, illness and accidents. They added that living without what one needs is linked to compromised physical and mental health of individuals living in poverty (Wadsworth & Santiago, 2008).

Negative Influence from the Environment

Some of the mother mentioned the negative influence of the environment on their children. They indicated that their children learnt wrong things from adults who did not behave well and were at times on the wrong side of the law. Due to the negative influence of the environment observed by

78

some mothers, some of them had decided not to raise their children in Old Naledi out of fear that the environment would influence the behaviour of their children negatively. Like negative peer influence, the challenge of a negative influence from the environment has also been recorded in other studies (Wilson, 1987; Brooks-Gunn, Duncan, Klebanov & Sealand, 1993; Leventhal & Brooks-Gunn, 2000; Quillian, 2003). A scarcity of positive role models in the community could also affect children negatively (Small & Newman, 2001).